Things no one says

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  • Опубликовано: 25 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 2 тыс.

  • @Graenolf
    @Graenolf  4 года назад +3685

    I challenge you to say that you’re happy “meeting around the board of fellowship” whenever you greet someone. It’s great.
    K bye love you guys a lot

    • @Worserocket1579
      @Worserocket1579 4 года назад +12

      Reeeeee first

    • @Esterferreiradecastro
      @Esterferreiradecastro 4 года назад +47

      What does that even mean

    • @catalinamyrrhpaw
      @catalinamyrrhpaw 4 года назад +12

      What's up with 3:21

    • @Sunflower-sn9ij
      @Sunflower-sn9ij 4 года назад +20

      Hi, im happy meeting around the board of fellowship!

    • @aaahah9931
      @aaahah9931 4 года назад +33

      Greetings, I am pleased to be making acquaintances with fellow human beings such as my self around this board of kinsmenship. Good day.

  • @Lileiny
    @Lileiny 4 года назад +7527

    "Graenolf is unattractive and boring, but at least he seems to be very mentally stable."

    • @Софикайа
      @Софикайа 4 года назад +160

      Oh my god yes

    • @gottabeinspiring
      @gottabeinspiring 4 года назад +83

      All the oposite

    • @valeriafmsh2615
      @valeriafmsh2615 4 года назад +224

      @@gottabeinspiring that's the pooooint

    • @enkeli3392
      @enkeli3392 4 года назад +24

      @@gottabeinspiring Nope. He's just as untalented as an undercooked human taxidermy

    • @enkeli3392
      @enkeli3392 4 года назад +9

      @RagingThunder Nope. As entertaining as a human taxidermy come back to life

  • @wagachugisthegrannyregulat3277
    @wagachugisthegrannyregulat3277 4 года назад +1516

    “Oh! Cute baby! How old is he?”
    “6,822,341 seconds.”

    • @greenbeanbeing8410
      @greenbeanbeing8410 4 года назад +54

      Oh.... really? My little sibling’s 6,822,342 seconds old

    • @pedropesserl
      @pedropesserl 4 года назад +34

      - 341... 42... 43...
      - ok i get it
      - 44... 45... 46...

    • @interycreeper1152
      @interycreeper1152 4 года назад +21

      Thats actually something I do.
      The only reason why no one has said that is because you have a very specific 7 digit number in there.
      A day is 86400 seconds btw, meaning that 6822341/86400=78,96
      your child is almost 79 days old.
      Which is less than 3 months.

  • @toddchairsitman611
    @toddchairsitman611 4 года назад +5926

    Things no one says:
    - Graenolf is sane
    - Graenolf is human

  • @caitlinstrong3273
    @caitlinstrong3273 4 года назад +2264

    "Oh, too bony? Nah, I like them skinny"
    As a walking noodle I am extremely offended

    • @karapetrich303
      @karapetrich303 4 года назад +32

      Lolllll me too

    • @aliveslice
      @aliveslice 4 года назад +60

      I don't think it's rare at all, left alone "never said"

    • @therealfirelord3359
      @therealfirelord3359 4 года назад +93

      Right? I mean I've heard this many times. Mostly the people are fat-phobic, which isn't cool, but this phrase is definitely not unheard of.

    • @bluestories7816
      @bluestories7816 4 года назад +2

      Same

    • @rosytimes9456
      @rosytimes9456 4 года назад +12

      I'm sorry, but 'walking noodle'? I loled...

  • @Jelkiin
    @Jelkiin 4 года назад +556

    “Do you like the haircut?”
    “No”

    • @KatSpicert
      @KatSpicert 4 года назад +17

      Its painful when you actually have a horrible haircut but you gotta say yes.

    • @wolfafterdark
      @wolfafterdark 3 года назад +2

      @@KatSpicert you never gotta say yes

    • @Vs-ub4tq
      @Vs-ub4tq 3 года назад

      @@wolfafterdark what like you gonna say "no I don't like it so I'm not gonna pay" and then get out without paying

    • @wolfafterdark
      @wolfafterdark 3 года назад

      ​@@Vs-ub4tq yea, if you're an asshole.
      you can usually fix it with a shorter cut. when all fails, gotta go bald. either way, you never hafta leave with some shit you have to fix at home anyway.

  • @Sheghostly
    @Sheghostly 4 года назад +2100

    "I got into a debate in the RUclips Comment Section and it really opened my mind"

    • @imfineimokay3434
      @imfineimokay3434 4 года назад +25

      This is the best one😂

    • @dawn7422
      @dawn7422 4 года назад +79

      ....once I was reading a youtube thread and the person who had been swearing at everyone came back the next day and apologized. Like it was the kind of apology that looked like it was embarrassing and not sarcastic.... They just said they had a bad day and stuff..

    • @siukong
      @siukong 4 года назад +63

      "Replying to these trolls and conspiracy theorists was a satisfying and productive use of my time"

    • @NerdStuffing
      @NerdStuffing 4 года назад +17

      @@siukong okay but replying to trolls is fun so it is a productive use of time

    • @RoyalGuardEziode
      @RoyalGuardEziode 4 года назад +4

      What makes you assume that???

  • @rayberya9101
    @rayberya9101 4 года назад +5367

    plot twist: he's actually said all of these things

    • @johno8465
      @johno8465 4 года назад +62

      I read this when he was talking about the urinals

    • @rayberya9101
      @rayberya9101 4 года назад +17

      @@johno8465 lmfao-

    • @milkman7834
      @milkman7834 4 года назад +79

      Of course, he said them in the video

    • @haekaljaelani4213
      @haekaljaelani4213 4 года назад +51

      Well technically he did

    • @angsern8455
      @angsern8455 4 года назад +30

      Well, you are technically not wrong.

  • @RainWelsh
    @RainWelsh 4 года назад +3530

    “Is taxidermy an option for humans?”
    Honestly, the fact it’s not, and so I can’t spend my funeral sat upright with a mechanism keeping my arm waving at the crowd like some horrifying biomechanical animatronic, makes me disappointed beyond words.
    Edit: My favourite thing about the responses I’ve received so far is that they seem to be equally split between “no, god, please, don’t do this, there’s a reason people don’t do this, stop it”; “actually, people do a variant of this, so if you only wanted it for the funeral you probably could”; and my newly discovered Horrifying Biomechanical Animatronic Crew, who are down for helping me achieve my dream.
    Also, someone has said they don’t do this because if they botched it (which is likely) it would be deeply upsetting. Babe, that’s what I’m going for!

    • @davidfriesen6716
      @davidfriesen6716 4 года назад +163

      This has DEFINITELY not been said before

    • @moonkenzie
      @moonkenzie 4 года назад +127

      I really want this to be a thing now. Keep the dream alive and start making calls. When it's on the ballot, I will go door to door for this shit.

    • @tinyflare5129
      @tinyflare5129 4 года назад +30

      @@moonkenzie May I join

    • @LuceSnooze
      @LuceSnooze 4 года назад +44

      it was a thing in the 1800s

    • @mirsey93
      @mirsey93 4 года назад +28

      I think human taxidermy is not possible right now but I haven't done a whole lot of research into it for obvious reasons lol

  • @coena9377
    @coena9377 3 года назад +23

    “Mother Theresa wasn’t that great.”
    Plenty of people have said that. I mean Christopher Hitchens wrote an entire book about how much he hated her.

    • @viictor1309
      @viictor1309 Год назад

      I was about to comment that

    • @Optimystik
      @Optimystik 11 месяцев назад

      There's a good reason for that..

  • @de_soot
    @de_soot 4 года назад +50

    "God, taxes! I love them so much!"

  • @AlfredDaButtlerr
    @AlfredDaButtlerr 4 года назад +1606

    “Actually I don’t like the haircut. Could you please cut some more off the sides?”

    • @ararepotato1420
      @ararepotato1420 4 года назад +18

      I say it... if I don't like it, make me bald if you have to.

    • @rncastillo79
      @rncastillo79 4 года назад +68

      MarvelDC girl 1255643 2354 you are too dangerous to be kept alive

    • @huntercat2581
      @huntercat2581 4 года назад +6

      There was a girl in my class that got a hair cut, everyone on my class said it looked really bad and made fun of her....

    • @eliasia7145
      @eliasia7145 4 года назад

      @@rncastillo79 ikr hahahaha

    • @MerkhVision
      @MerkhVision 4 года назад +16

      MarvelDC girl 1255643 2354 ur a brave soul. Most ppl are too scared to say something (for sum reason). They’ll just smile and nod and go home wit a bad haircut and hope for better luck next time

  • @ConnorMBrown
    @ConnorMBrown 4 года назад +1413

    "Oh, is that your girlfriend?"

  • @AbbigailSailor
    @AbbigailSailor 4 года назад +1442

    “Mind if I Breast-feed him for a while” ie. One of the plot lines in the mahabharata

  • @boocrimson7720
    @boocrimson7720 4 года назад +242

    "Is taxidermy an option for people as well?" I feel called out because I said I wanted to be mummified the way the Egyptians were when I die to some day greatly confuse some poor archeologist as to why this single person with no real importance was mummified in the 21st century.

    • @courtneywatson797
      @courtneywatson797 4 года назад +18

      Boo Crimson I want to do that now...

    • @LunAR-ic7uj
      @LunAR-ic7uj 4 года назад +12

      Boo Crimson they’ll find your comment

    • @pzz6367
      @pzz6367 4 года назад +5

      I don't think mummification is the same thing as taxidermy though

    • @grayskindablue
      @grayskindablue 4 года назад +4

      @@pzz6367 it’s not, but it’s just about the closest (except for some very recent and expensive tech) thing humans have had to taxidermy. Bc taxidermy isn’t done on skeletons, so trying to keep a person’s individual muscle and skeletal structure would be basically impossible to tell who anyone was lol

    • @pzz6367
      @pzz6367 4 года назад

      @@grayskindablue Well the point I was trying to make was that mummification is a lot less weird than taxidermy. Mummification was actually used as a way to store dead human bodies. Taxidermy is usually only used on animals, and for display purposes. Mummies have cloth wrapped around them too, so it would hide the dead body. Wanting yourself mummified is a lot more understandable than wanting yourself taxidermized.

  • @breadbin2772
    @breadbin2772 4 года назад +165

    The “I like em skinny” hurt ngl

    • @shrek8339
      @shrek8339 4 года назад +2

      ✋😩✋

    • @rvch883
      @rvch883 4 года назад +15

      I'm not a native english speaker, so I don't know if I got that right?
      Was he talking about skinny girls? Because I love them, they are beautiful

    • @doggolover1450
      @doggolover1450 3 года назад +6

      Yeah that one burned... Lmao

    • @rvch883
      @rvch883 3 года назад +1

      @@TobiasBräutigam No, I am not.
      Was that a joke?

    • @wolfafterdark
      @wolfafterdark 3 года назад +5

      @@rvch883 Calling a woman skinny is like calling her bony. Ugly and weak, even when she's athletic. Calling her fit is neutral. The body positivity movement has been glorifying diseased bodystates in many ways, particularly by adamantly denying that an ideal body state even exists, let alone that it is achievable, maintainable, and important for healthy longevity. In fact, many people are offended by the term "ideal body weight" (real thing) and using it can be seen as shallow or even rude. So much irony.

  • @stupidoeecho6949
    @stupidoeecho6949 4 года назад +5159

    So let me get this straight. He’s a gamer, he’s got looks, he is a great actor, he can sing, and he’s funny? And he only has 600 K subs? What the hell?

  • @Mello.
    @Mello. 4 года назад +1444

    Things that no one says: *I know what Oyfum means.*

    • @Graenolf
      @Graenolf  4 года назад +392

      True

    • @PinkishPlant
      @PinkishPlant 4 года назад +56

      MrOrangehorseman how do you know that?

    • @Whoohoonutty2020
      @Whoohoonutty2020 4 года назад +197

      MrOrangehorseman, you are too dangerous to stay alive

    • @insaneoking
      @insaneoking 4 года назад +78

      @@MrOrangehorseman That's apparently not it. One time I told someone that and Graenolf himself said I was wrong.

    • @funygameur
      @funygameur 4 года назад +16

      @@insaneoking Yup, IDK if it was you but I saw the exact same thing happening in a commentary section.

  • @realkingofantarctica
    @realkingofantarctica 4 года назад +545

    “I love the soothing sound of my alarm, it’s perfect after a full 10 hours of sleep.”

    • @Jin-di9zv
      @Jin-di9zv 4 года назад +6

      You mean 1 hour

    • @realkingofantarctica
      @realkingofantarctica 4 года назад +4

      just a random user the joke is that people don’t get 10 hours of sleep

    • @therealfirelord3359
      @therealfirelord3359 4 года назад

      Oh wait, no, I've literally said this... I sleep like a rock and love myself enough to have pretty alarms.

    • @StarBoundAngel
      @StarBoundAngel 3 года назад

      I actually always try to sleep at least 10 hours especially when I was in college. If I was still doing school work I’d put it off until morning.

  • @shuhratkessikbayev8886
    @shuhratkessikbayev8886 4 года назад +62

    "I'm not in for the money, I'm in it because I care."

  • @faisalt9447
    @faisalt9447 4 года назад +420

    "I've never told a racist joke"
    * dissed the might of rome 1 minute earlier*

    • @warden-u488
      @warden-u488 4 года назад +21

      roman nationality is not its own race

    • @faisalt9447
      @faisalt9447 4 года назад +35

      @@warden-u488 *laughs in colonial assimilation*

    • @christopheredwards9904
      @christopheredwards9904 4 года назад +6

      that's the joke

    • @cghbv1585
      @cghbv1585 3 года назад

      Actually everyone says that but it’s not always true

    • @goosegod9414
      @goosegod9414 3 года назад

      @@cghbv1585 it’s never true

  • @muffinmuff8846
    @muffinmuff8846 4 года назад +1858

    Graenolf is long gone, Tis just a mad lad now and I love it

    • @Saikugo
      @Saikugo 4 года назад +50

      But this was always him. He has now entered his true form.

    • @godofdoor6558
      @godofdoor6558 4 года назад +17

      He has become the lord of oyfum sheogorath

    • @yoh9294
      @yoh9294 4 года назад +2

      You forgot to say that you love it

    • @muffinmuff8846
      @muffinmuff8846 4 года назад +1

      @Y;oh thanks for the reminder

  • @daedricprince685
    @daedricprince685 4 года назад +637

    Imagine if your grandmother or whoever uses blood instead of eggs in their cookies and you've been eating them all this time without knowing... until one day she dies and you look through her old cookbook to see the horrors inside....

  • @crazedisdazed3016
    @crazedisdazed3016 4 года назад +322

    “Your bones are wet”

  • @toastedpoptart2964
    @toastedpoptart2964 4 года назад +147

    "Awe your kid is ador-"
    Then my phone died
    Their kid is a door..
    "Congratulations it’s a door!"

    • @naturegirl1999
      @naturegirl1999 3 года назад +4

      I imagined this as an ASDFmovie skit

    • @notaheroyet3236
      @notaheroyet3236 3 года назад

      I feel like the internet makes me dumb. Why did I laugh so hard because of this?!?!

  • @louisauffret
    @louisauffret 4 года назад +52

    "Is taxidermy an option for humans as well ?"
    Hey, Vsauce! Michael here...

  • @fercs21
    @fercs21 4 года назад +592

    "Graenolf? Too average, I mean where's the talent? such an overrated channel. Vlogs instead? So authentic and fun."

  • @NaN-noCZ
    @NaN-noCZ 4 года назад +770

    “Graenolf’s facial hair fits him very Well, and dosen’t make me uncomfortable at all.”

  • @daisysmart8874
    @daisysmart8874 4 года назад +21

    I love how the reasons nobody would say the thing are constantly changing. It's sometimes because people actually think the exact opposite, sometimes because nobody would say that thing purely because it's so random, and then there's just blood cookies

  • @siukong
    @siukong 4 года назад +8

    "Staying up til 4 in the morning was a great idea. I feel ready to take on the world."

  • @BryceEdwardBrown
    @BryceEdwardBrown 4 года назад +251

    The student loans one hit too hard

  • @wyatthelsell4602
    @wyatthelsell4602 4 года назад +593

    "can we have taxidermy for humans as well?" HEY VSAUCE MICHAEL HERE

    • @pablopepino4450
      @pablopepino4450 4 года назад +23

      taxidermy can't be applied to humans...
      ...OR CAN IT?

    • @melanietoth1376
      @melanietoth1376 4 года назад +2

      I'm in a momento mori group and I've seen human taxidermy....aka mummies?

    • @luvii_hope9449
      @luvii_hope9449 4 года назад +3

      I actually have said this...

    • @Purplecorgi10
      @Purplecorgi10 4 года назад

      Oh god-

    • @EpicFoXD333
      @EpicFoXD333 4 года назад +1

      was thinking the same thing

  • @thephoenixxy
    @thephoenixxy 4 года назад +179

    "That thing I've been procrastinating, I'm going to do it today."

  • @-alyxix-6562
    @-alyxix-6562 4 года назад +12

    “I love the dubstep intros to RUclips videos. Oh oh, and when they ask you to subscribe and like 50 times in a 4 minute time period, man those RUclipsrs are the best!”

  • @josiahmorris2572
    @josiahmorris2572 4 года назад +15

    “Thank god this tag warns me to keep my underwear away from fire”

  • @maxn5894
    @maxn5894 4 года назад +211

    “You know I like when people come up to the urinal next to me.” That was just too much for me honestly

  • @Alex-fc8xn
    @Alex-fc8xn 4 года назад +103

    "My favourite thing about Cardi B" coulda stopped right there.

  • @noone4019
    @noone4019 4 года назад +119

    “I love it when, on my birthday, the waiters bring me the cake in front of everyone and everyone starts singing ‘happy birthday to you!’”

  • @rias9766
    @rias9766 4 года назад +30

    "Definitely *not* uncomfortable when guys dm my gf"
    Oyfum that hits hard

  • @mootsukisasmr
    @mootsukisasmr 4 года назад +167

    things nobody says to me:
    "youre so mentally stable and attractive!"

    • @sierra_amaze
      @sierra_amaze 3 года назад +1

      People say that to me every once in a while but trust me I’m the opposite

    • @coena9377
      @coena9377 3 года назад +5

      “You’re so mentally stable and attractive!”

    • @necromancer9829
      @necromancer9829 3 года назад +1

      no one says that either way

    • @s.p.3092
      @s.p.3092 3 года назад +1

      People say that I'm mentally unstable and attractive, I think I'm a task failed successfully.

  • @MrHydrated
    @MrHydrated 4 года назад +133

    "Hey do you want my garlic bread sticks?"

    • @kayceewhite
      @kayceewhite 4 года назад +3

      Mr. Hydrated
      Reading this hurt my soul

  • @daleharden1749
    @daleharden1749 4 года назад +62

    "No, you're right! I'm way to poor and lowly to _ever_ go to the Cloud District!"

  • @jaanasyme4957
    @jaanasyme4957 4 года назад +117

    “Graenolf’s mustache looks good”

  • @burd0ck271
    @burd0ck271 4 года назад +38

    "Honey wake up!"
    "Ok." _gets up and makes breakfast_
    *something that never happens.*

  • @gorplsnaps2920
    @gorplsnaps2920 4 года назад +29

    I love how he's scared of heights and has lived on the ground floor hos entire life, but carries his groceries to his fifth floor apartment one bag at a time

  • @firstlast9846
    @firstlast9846 4 года назад +201

    *I can Relate To this On ANOTHER LEVEL* Because I have never said these things.

  • @SweeteaDove
    @SweeteaDove 4 года назад +71

    "You need an egg substitute? Blood"
    Wait- you guys *don't* say that!?

    • @MelB868
      @MelB868 4 года назад +1

      No and you know what she could use real eggs

    • @botslayer9814
      @botslayer9814 4 года назад

      @@MelB868 real eggs don’t be naive

  • @josydaydreamer
    @josydaydreamer 4 года назад +81

    "Graenolf? Nah I don't like his videos."

  • @Emile9186
    @Emile9186 4 года назад +15

    4:01 "You know I kinda like when other men pick the urinal beside"
    See like I'm gay and I don't even like that 99% of the time

  • @kiratascarrinu758
    @kiratascarrinu758 4 года назад +17

    “I love insomnia”
    Heheh... I’m basically going through insomnia right now.

  • @DragonMasterThlayli
    @DragonMasterThlayli 4 года назад +104

    "Is taxidermy an option for humans?"
    Well funny you should say that, because there's a (sort of) taxidermy man at the University College London. Jeremy Bentham had his skeleton surrounded with stuffing and dressed with his clothes. Originally his real head was to be used but it got quite grotesque after mummification. Not that it's already grotesque enough with a wax head and his real hair attached - I've seen it - he sits in a fancy box in one of the cloisters...
    A fun fact absolutely no one wanted to know.

    • @kayceewhite
      @kayceewhite 4 года назад +14

      DragonMasterThlayli
      I wanted to know 🙋🏼‍♀️ thank you good sir for your information

    • @shaunshroom
      @shaunshroom 4 года назад +4

      of course jeremy bentham did that

    • @millymartin7191
      @millymartin7191 3 года назад

      Black Mirror episode

  • @cogniferous2537
    @cogniferous2537 4 года назад +190

    Things that no one says:
    _"Yeah, I'm gonna break out my glasses and sit though the terms of service. They say you gotta read them."_

    • @elliotisqueer8384
      @elliotisqueer8384 4 года назад +5

      I had an English teacher once and she insisted that we should always read the terms of service on everything. She said that when her children wanted to get an app or something, she would read the entire terms of service before letting them get it.

    • @likfjafiaohfoiefjn
      @likfjafiaohfoiefjn 4 года назад +14

      Terms of service? Nah. Privacy policy? Worth a skim.

    • @elliotisqueer8384
      @elliotisqueer8384 4 года назад +4

      Julia I agree, I once tried to read through the whole terms of service and I almost fell asleep 😂

    • @yanagelfand4337
      @yanagelfand4337 4 года назад +9

      I did once as a child, when I didn't know what it meant but it said that you should read it, so I did. Didn't understand a word, but that wasn't required, just reading.

    • @babowasalwayshere
      @babowasalwayshere 3 года назад +4

      I read the terms of service before signing the paperwork for my psychological assessment and the psychologist stared for a moment and was like, "Wow, you're actually reading them.. most people just sign it."

  • @joel-yd1rv
    @joel-yd1rv 4 года назад +164

    “Mother Teresa wasn’t that great” lmao he obviously hasn’t heard of Christopher Hitchens

    • @bentaylor809
      @bentaylor809 4 года назад +9

      Ikr. Lad had a point too

    • @nickvliet4614
      @nickvliet4614 4 года назад +9

      yeah, MT was the og anti-vaxer from what I heard

    • @anthonynorman7545
      @anthonynorman7545 4 года назад +1

      Right!

    • @chocdesglacons
      @chocdesglacons 4 года назад +6

      Christopher Hitchens wasn't that great tbh

    • @anthonynorman7545
      @anthonynorman7545 4 года назад +5

      @@chocdesglaconshim as a person, I don't care. Him as a thinker, I disagree.

  • @siukong
    @siukong 4 года назад +5

    "I really look forward to another ad coming up in this RUclips video some time soon. And I hope it's one of the ones I've already seen 20 times."

  • @Alfred-nj1xc
    @Alfred-nj1xc 3 года назад +6

    “You know, those rubber chickens that make a wheezing noise, what if it was recreated with many humans”

  • @Amanda-hq9of
    @Amanda-hq9of 4 года назад +35

    “my self doubt and crippling anxiety really help me sleep at night!”

    • @taliyahs1918
      @taliyahs1918 3 года назад

      Why would nippling help u sleep?

    • @removed7790
      @removed7790 3 года назад +2

      “Honestly, it’s comforting to be left alone with my thoughts. And the ringing in my ears adds some relaxing ambience”

  • @miezekatze2945
    @miezekatze2945 4 года назад +34

    "I'll function on another day" never said that out loud but I sure think this on the daily

  • @EthGemsnStuff
    @EthGemsnStuff 4 года назад +111

    im pretty sure that i hear and say the words from 1:00 - 1:03 a lot
    edit: also i just drew a cute squirrel if u wanna check it out :3 (u dont have to its mediocre xd)

    • @FaeTheGay
      @FaeTheGay 4 года назад +1

      Lol same

    • @qqqfuzion2582
      @qqqfuzion2582 4 года назад +3

      Do not advertise irrelevant content plz

    • @EthGemsnStuff
      @EthGemsnStuff 4 года назад +3

      Quantum Stop Motions
      sorry if i wasted ur time
      some people seem to enjoy it tho :o

  • @sortofsomething
    @sortofsomething 3 года назад +3

    My dentist once told me "You have a beautiful dental arch"
    Not sure if I should be worried.

  • @nicki3311
    @nicki3311 4 года назад +11

    “Why-why am I here?”
    Me when I’m literally ANYWHERE

  • @samuelle87
    @samuelle87 4 года назад +229

    "The capital of Turkmenistan? Oh, Ashgabat duh!" actually me trying to impress new people I meet. Yes I'm fun at parties why do you ask

    • @nooralamgir3703
      @nooralamgir3703 4 года назад

      Looooool

    • @sanadbenali6993
      @sanadbenali6993 4 года назад

      What does your name mean

    • @spaghettimist
      @spaghettimist 4 года назад

      same tbh

    • @DeepCFisher
      @DeepCFisher 4 года назад +1

      Imagine a woman actually having to impress people lol

    • @МарияЕвгениевнаОпекунова
      @МарияЕвгениевнаОпекунова 3 года назад +2

      It happened to be one of few capitals I know bc I've literally lived in this country so it was impossible to not memorise it, and yeah, when I mention it, everyone get interested, so its really a way to be fun at parties

  • @edoardoprevelato6577
    @edoardoprevelato6577 4 года назад +119

    For an italian like me, pronouncing latin names is very fun.

    • @Handhandme
      @Handhandme 4 года назад +2

      *MI CHIAMO MASSIMO DECIMO MERIDIO*

    • @edoardoprevelato6577
      @edoardoprevelato6577 4 года назад +2

      @@Handhandme comandante dell'esercito del Nord, generale delle legioni Felix, servo leale dell'unico vero imperatore Marco Aurelio!

    • @Handhandme
      @Handhandme 4 года назад +1

      @@edoardoprevelato6577 ahah grande

    • @johnways2648
      @johnways2648 4 года назад +3

      PORCO DIO

  • @halliesquidward5334
    @halliesquidward5334 4 года назад +19

    “Aweee...Do u mind if I Brest feed her for a while” wft😂

  • @AwesomeRara
    @AwesomeRara 4 года назад +13

    i just love it when people eat braised pork rice in the movie theatre it really makes me feel right at home

  • @Jess-jt4zf
    @Jess-jt4zf 3 года назад +5

    I thought that "egg substitute" joke was going in a very different direction lmao

  • @tritondemius3723
    @tritondemius3723 4 года назад +55

    "Hey Preston, are there any setlesments that need my help"

  • @LiVeS-qn5be
    @LiVeS-qn5be 4 года назад +82

    “Yes. I would like to donate to this charity”

  • @coolcraker123
    @coolcraker123 4 года назад +85

    Something about his confidence and ability to own his acting ability makes me feel some type of way...

  • @Swanky11
    @Swanky11 4 года назад +20

    "mother Teresa wasn't that great"
    Christopher Hitchens has entered the chat

  • @rizkaphonna6618
    @rizkaphonna6618 4 года назад +2

    You know what
    "Always be yourself, never doubt"

  • @meowkat2050
    @meowkat2050 4 года назад +23

    The Caesar one killed me, my step-brother said almost exactly that. I despair at him sometimes.

  • @philswift6135
    @philswift6135 4 года назад +78

    Nobody:
    Graenolf: "creeeemated"

  • @world7033
    @world7033 4 года назад +15

    Do you ever think about the fact that on medication, when it says, "do not operate heavy machinery" it probably means cars or trucks, but we all think of construction equipment...

  • @bellamyseals831
    @bellamyseals831 4 года назад +8

    here are some I made up:
    "i love going to the bathroom at night! I find it calming to walk through my dark house when nothing else is awake."
    "y'know, if you think about it, zucchini isn't that gross."
    "I just love it when those people sing happy birthday to you in a restaurant, i think its so thoughtful."
    "I'm very happy with how my body looks right now."

    • @Graenolf
      @Graenolf  4 года назад +3

      😂 love these haha

    • @bellamyseals831
      @bellamyseals831 4 года назад

      OMG WTH YOU RESPONDED WOW!!! love ur videos! ❤

    • @Graenolf
      @Graenolf  4 года назад +2

      Bellamy Seals happy to have you here Bellamy 😛

    • @ashtray0belief
      @ashtray0belief 4 года назад +1

      I love zucchini though.

    • @bellamyseals831
      @bellamyseals831 4 года назад +2

      @@ashtray0belief then, sorry you had to find out this way, but you are not human. have a nice day!

  • @massetozacarias5693
    @massetozacarias5693 4 года назад +4

    sometimes i talk to myself when I'm home alone and my parents think that i bring my friends over

  • @EslayerTM
    @EslayerTM 4 года назад +30

    "aw your kid is adorable! mind if i breast feed her for a while?" -Graenolf

  • @ingrima4220
    @ingrima4220 4 года назад +61

    Actually, Mother Theresa wasn't that great....

    • @PinkishPlant
      @PinkishPlant 4 года назад +5

      Why does everyone say she’s so great I know like nothing about her

    • @powerpug964
      @powerpug964 4 года назад +1

      Who is she i dont even know

  • @benotar358
    @benotar358 4 года назад +46

    Oh my gosh, he's under the table. Has he done that before?

  • @kaleidojess
    @kaleidojess 4 года назад +13

    “Oh, man ! I’m getting paid again .. 😒” don’t you hate it when that happens ?

  • @Devlinator61116
    @Devlinator61116 4 года назад +5

    Graenolf: "I'm going to consume all this medication and then I'm going to f-"
    RUclips: *buffers*

  • @alexandersmith7061
    @alexandersmith7061 4 года назад +26

    “You can get thrown into the bottom of a river...like my uncle vinnie”
    *Henry Hill laugh intensifies*

  • @griffincappin8567
    @griffincappin8567 4 года назад +17

    You missed "Sorry low table for stubbing my toe on you, it was completely my fault"

  • @MotherMello
    @MotherMello 4 года назад +38

    So many sleeper agents were activated watching this.

  • @pizzawashere8940
    @pizzawashere8940 3 года назад

    “I don’t think I had any cringy moments in high school” CALLED ME OUT LMAO 😂

  • @Emmerilla_
    @Emmerilla_ 4 года назад +20

    The Thumbnail is a lie. On reddit someone told me:
    "You're pretty but you're eyes are like dead fishs."
    That's basically the nice form of saying "you're eyes are ugly"

  • @crazedisdazed3016
    @crazedisdazed3016 4 года назад +41

    “Enjoy your drink”
    “You too.”

  • @buckofspades1795
    @buckofspades1795 4 года назад +10

    you know, i forgot this guy made Skyrim content, but him moving to be a living existential crisis is great

  • @vivivalley
    @vivivalley 4 года назад +7

    “Is there taxidermy for humans too?” Lol

  • @Logic-ho2eb
    @Logic-ho2eb 4 года назад +9

    "I thought Caesar died of old age"
    *Sounds of JoJo fans crying*

    • @StarBoundAngel
      @StarBoundAngel 3 года назад

      I honestly wasn’t even thinking about him because he mentioned Rome just before and I was too busy remembering a photo of a Caesar pencil holder where the pencils go in his back.

  • @joshwoofter4789
    @joshwoofter4789 4 года назад +17

    When youve got the wheel-
    TWIST IT!
    *suddenly*

  • @crazedisdazed3016
    @crazedisdazed3016 4 года назад +37

    “Life is fun”

    • @hildcit
      @hildcit 4 года назад +2

      Crazed is Dazed I think James would have to disagree

    • @lanie5759
      @lanie5759 4 года назад +2

      @@hildcit was just about to say that

    • @hildcit
      @hildcit 4 года назад +1

      BookDragon “We gotta make the most of it”

    • @courtneywatson797
      @courtneywatson797 4 года назад

      Crazed is Dazed true

    • @woodengehring
      @woodengehring 4 года назад +3

      I say that sarcastically all the time.

  • @dr.cranium9080
    @dr.cranium9080 4 года назад +7

    "Dude, did you see the Game of Thrones finale? It was so well thought out and realistic!"

  • @galacticlavalamp6338
    @galacticlavalamp6338 4 года назад +33

    I’m guessing we broke into his house and turned on all the lights and opened all the windows and doors. Then we started talking to him and all of this happened.

  • @thecheese1120
    @thecheese1120 4 года назад +6

    I love losing my keys it’s like a nice game of hide and seek!

  • @tyrant-den884
    @tyrant-den884 3 года назад +1

    "I mean, sure: 2001 A Space Odyssey was an exciting movie; I just wish the ending wasn't so predictable."

  • @juliiabo297
    @juliiabo297 4 года назад +11

    That Timothee Chalamet thing killed me🤣

  • @iridescentcovers6578
    @iridescentcovers6578 4 года назад +6

    When you get to that moment of watching graenolf where you get crazy and start saying these everywhere so you can prove that he is wrong but everyone else who doesn't know him is just confused. ........
    I can relate on a spiritual level... 🥴

  • @jerry3790
    @jerry3790 4 года назад +14

    The thing about Mother Theresa is accurate though.

  • @shealunalee8856
    @shealunalee8856 4 года назад +2

    I’ve been a fan for a while and I’m pretty sure I’ve seen like most of your videos
    *but this one is definitely one of my favorites* 🤣

    • @Graenolf
      @Graenolf  4 года назад +1

      Happy you’re here 😊

  • @hi_mynameis76
    @hi_mynameis76 4 года назад +1

    That birthday song on the same key thing is something I'd like to say, but never do. So you're right. Things no one says.