Things no one says
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- Опубликовано: 4 сен 2024
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@Graenolf
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graenolf
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www.oyfum.com
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This video features the things no one says. Check out my other things say videos cause funny. Ok bye. question mark ?
I challenge you to say that you’re happy “meeting around the board of fellowship” whenever you greet someone. It’s great.
K bye love you guys a lot
Reeeeee first
What does that even mean
What's up with 3:21
Hi, im happy meeting around the board of fellowship!
Greetings, I am pleased to be making acquaintances with fellow human beings such as my self around this board of kinsmenship. Good day.
“Oh! Cute baby! How old is he?”
“6,822,341 seconds.”
Oh.... really? My little sibling’s 6,822,342 seconds old
- 341... 42... 43...
- ok i get it
- 44... 45... 46...
Thats actually something I do.
The only reason why no one has said that is because you have a very specific 7 digit number in there.
A day is 86400 seconds btw, meaning that 6822341/86400=78,96
your child is almost 79 days old.
Which is less than 3 months.
"I got into a debate in the RUclips Comment Section and it really opened my mind"
This is the best one😂
....once I was reading a youtube thread and the person who had been swearing at everyone came back the next day and apologized. Like it was the kind of apology that looked like it was embarrassing and not sarcastic.... They just said they had a bad day and stuff..
"Replying to these trolls and conspiracy theorists was a satisfying and productive use of my time"
@@siukong okay but replying to trolls is fun so it is a productive use of time
What makes you assume that???
Things no one says:
- Graenolf is sane
- Graenolf is human
-you must awake of this dream
-Graenolf definitely doesnt need help
Graenolf isn't an Argonian is disguise.
-It’s dangerous to go alone! Take this.
-Graenolf is still a Skyrim channel
"Oh, too bony? Nah, I like them skinny"
As a walking noodle I am extremely offended
Lolllll me too
I don't think it's rare at all, left alone "never said"
Right? I mean I've heard this many times. Mostly the people are fat-phobic, which isn't cool, but this phrase is definitely not unheard of.
Same
I'm sorry, but 'walking noodle'? I loled...
“Do you like the haircut?”
“No”
Its painful when you actually have a horrible haircut but you gotta say yes.
@@KatSpicert you never gotta say yes
@@wolfafterdark what like you gonna say "no I don't like it so I'm not gonna pay" and then get out without paying
@@Vs-ub4tq yea, if you're an asshole.
you can usually fix it with a shorter cut. when all fails, gotta go bald. either way, you never hafta leave with some shit you have to fix at home anyway.
"Graenolf is unattractive and boring, but at least he seems to be very mentally stable."
Oh my god yes
All the oposite
@@dailydoseofgamingbuzzz that's the pooooint
@@dailydoseofgamingbuzzz Nope. He's just as untalented as an undercooked human taxidermy
@RagingThunder Nope. As entertaining as a human taxidermy come back to life
"Oh, is that your girlfriend?"
True
very underrated comment
that hurts
"Yes. This is my girlfriend."
No
My wife
plot twist: he's actually said all of these things
I read this when he was talking about the urinals
@@johno8465 lmfao-
Of course, he said them in the video
Well technically he did
Well, you are technically not wrong.
“Mother Theresa wasn’t that great.”
Plenty of people have said that. I mean Christopher Hitchens wrote an entire book about how much he hated her.
I was about to comment that
There's a good reason for that..
The “I like em skinny” hurt ngl
✋😩✋
I'm not a native english speaker, so I don't know if I got that right?
Was he talking about skinny girls? Because I love them, they are beautiful
Yeah that one burned... Lmao
@@TobiasBräutigam No, I am not.
Was that a joke?
@@rvch883 Calling a woman skinny is like calling her bony. Ugly and weak, even when she's athletic. Calling her fit is neutral. The body positivity movement has been glorifying diseased bodystates in many ways, particularly by adamantly denying that an ideal body state even exists, let alone that it is achievable, maintainable, and important for healthy longevity. In fact, many people are offended by the term "ideal body weight" (real thing) and using it can be seen as shallow or even rude. So much irony.
“Is taxidermy an option for humans?”
Honestly, the fact it’s not, and so I can’t spend my funeral sat upright with a mechanism keeping my arm waving at the crowd like some horrifying biomechanical animatronic, makes me disappointed beyond words.
Edit: My favourite thing about the responses I’ve received so far is that they seem to be equally split between “no, god, please, don’t do this, there’s a reason people don’t do this, stop it”; “actually, people do a variant of this, so if you only wanted it for the funeral you probably could”; and my newly discovered Horrifying Biomechanical Animatronic Crew, who are down for helping me achieve my dream.
Also, someone has said they don’t do this because if they botched it (which is likely) it would be deeply upsetting. Babe, that’s what I’m going for!
This has DEFINITELY not been said before
I really want this to be a thing now. Keep the dream alive and start making calls. When it's on the ballot, I will go door to door for this shit.
@@moonkenzie May I join
it was a thing in the 1800s
I think human taxidermy is not possible right now but I haven't done a whole lot of research into it for obvious reasons lol
“I love the soothing sound of my alarm, it’s perfect after a full 10 hours of sleep.”
You mean 1 hour
just a random user the joke is that people don’t get 10 hours of sleep
Oh wait, no, I've literally said this... I sleep like a rock and love myself enough to have pretty alarms.
I actually always try to sleep at least 10 hours especially when I was in college. If I was still doing school work I’d put it off until morning.
“Actually I don’t like the haircut. Could you please cut some more off the sides?”
I say it... if I don't like it, make me bald if you have to.
MarvelDC girl 1255643 2354 you are too dangerous to be kept alive
There was a girl in my class that got a hair cut, everyone on my class said it looked really bad and made fun of her....
@@rncastillo79 ikr hahahaha
MarvelDC girl 1255643 2354 ur a brave soul. Most ppl are too scared to say something (for sum reason). They’ll just smile and nod and go home wit a bad haircut and hope for better luck next time
"I'm not in for the money, I'm in it because I care."
Everyone says this. Few people mean it.
Me as a teacher hahaga
"I've never told a racist joke"
* dissed the might of rome 1 minute earlier*
roman nationality is not its own race
@@warden-u488 *laughs in colonial assimilation*
that's the joke
Actually everyone says that but it’s not always true
@@cghbv1585 it’s never true
So let me get this straight. He’s a gamer, he’s got looks, he is a great actor, he can sing, and he’s funny? And he only has 600 K subs? What the hell?
My question exactly.
Ikr
Shut up he’s mine.
Stupidoes he’s missing the Swedish and meme review that’s why
@@colemanfletcher5565 that's exactly the reason
“Mind if I Breast-feed him for a while” ie. One of the plot lines in the mahabharata
MintIceCream I’m glad someone said it!
Bish Asuna MINE
mapajahit
Haha, I, too, watch OSP
Wow I'm an Indian Hindu yet I don't understand. Pity on me.
The student loans one hit too hard
It's true tho
"Is taxidermy an option for people as well?" I feel called out because I said I wanted to be mummified the way the Egyptians were when I die to some day greatly confuse some poor archeologist as to why this single person with no real importance was mummified in the 21st century.
Boo Crimson I want to do that now...
Boo Crimson they’ll find your comment
I don't think mummification is the same thing as taxidermy though
@@pzz6367 it’s not, but it’s just about the closest (except for some very recent and expensive tech) thing humans have had to taxidermy. Bc taxidermy isn’t done on skeletons, so trying to keep a person’s individual muscle and skeletal structure would be basically impossible to tell who anyone was lol
@@grayskindablue Well the point I was trying to make was that mummification is a lot less weird than taxidermy. Mummification was actually used as a way to store dead human bodies. Taxidermy is usually only used on animals, and for display purposes. Mummies have cloth wrapped around them too, so it would hide the dead body. Wanting yourself mummified is a lot more understandable than wanting yourself taxidermized.
"God, taxes! I love them so much!"
Graenolf is long gone, Tis just a mad lad now and I love it
But this was always him. He has now entered his true form.
He has become the lord of oyfum sheogorath
You forgot to say that you love it
@Y;oh thanks for the reminder
Imagine if your grandmother or whoever uses blood instead of eggs in their cookies and you've been eating them all this time without knowing... until one day she dies and you look through her old cookbook to see the horrors inside....
@Daedric Prince
This needs more likes
Graenolf is that you?
*Hannibal intensifies*
Finally some good fucking food.
Don't smoke too much my friend ^^
“Graenolf’s facial hair fits him very Well, and dosen’t make me uncomfortable at all.”
Aha 😆
@@Graenolf R.I.P
That must have hurt
"Is taxidermy an option for humans as well ?"
Hey, Vsauce! Michael here...
"Awe your kid is ador-"
Then my phone died
Their kid is a door..
"Congratulations it’s a door!"
I imagined this as an ASDFmovie skit
I feel like the internet makes me dumb. Why did I laugh so hard because of this?!?!
“You know I like when people come up to the urinal next to me.” That was just too much for me honestly
Things that no one says: *I know what Oyfum means.*
True
MrOrangehorseman how do you know that?
MrOrangehorseman, you are too dangerous to stay alive
@@MrOrangehorseman That's apparently not it. One time I told someone that and Graenolf himself said I was wrong.
@@insaneoking Yup, IDK if it was you but I saw the exact same thing happening in a commentary section.
I love how the reasons nobody would say the thing are constantly changing. It's sometimes because people actually think the exact opposite, sometimes because nobody would say that thing purely because it's so random, and then there's just blood cookies
things nobody says to me:
"youre so mentally stable and attractive!"
People say that to me every once in a while but trust me I’m the opposite
“You’re so mentally stable and attractive!”
no one says that either way
People say that I'm mentally unstable and attractive, I think I'm a task failed successfully.
"can we have taxidermy for humans as well?" HEY VSAUCE MICHAEL HERE
taxidermy can't be applied to humans...
...OR CAN IT?
I'm in a momento mori group and I've seen human taxidermy....aka mummies?
I actually have said this...
Oh god-
was thinking the same thing
“I love it when, on my birthday, the waiters bring me the cake in front of everyone and everyone starts singing ‘happy birthday to you!’”
"Graenolf? Too average, I mean where's the talent? such an overrated channel. Vlogs instead? So authentic and fun."
"Staying up til 4 in the morning was a great idea. I feel ready to take on the world."
I love how he's scared of heights and has lived on the ground floor hos entire life, but carries his groceries to his fifth floor apartment one bag at a time
“Your bones are wet”
They indeed are.
Edoardo Prevelato pretty m o I s t if I do say so myself
mhmmm soggy bones
i say that
One day, they'll be dry. They will become the dirt I walk on.
"My favourite thing about Cardi B" coulda stopped right there.
"That thing I've been procrastinating, I'm going to do it today."
I started doing it today and it made me cry.
68th like
Anine Squidz 69th
@@Athazagoral THANK YOU-
“I love the dubstep intros to RUclips videos. Oh oh, and when they ask you to subscribe and like 50 times in a 4 minute time period, man those RUclipsrs are the best!”
here are some I made up:
"i love going to the bathroom at night! I find it calming to walk through my dark house when nothing else is awake."
"y'know, if you think about it, zucchini isn't that gross."
"I just love it when those people sing happy birthday to you in a restaurant, i think its so thoughtful."
"I'm very happy with how my body looks right now."
😂 love these haha
OMG WTH YOU RESPONDED WOW!!! love ur videos! ❤
Bellamy Seals happy to have you here Bellamy 😛
I love zucchini though.
@@ashtray0belief then, sorry you had to find out this way, but you are not human. have a nice day!
"Do you like my cookies?"
"Yes grandma."
"Good... because I MADE THEM WITH MY FINGERS!!!"
Well yeah, you don't bake with your toes silly!
a wonderful reference
@@Soapcookies your name too!
"do you like the cookies?"
"no"
End Scene
"Hey do you want my garlic bread sticks?"
Mr. Hydrated
Reading this hurt my soul
"No, you're right! I'm way to poor and lowly to _ever_ go to the Cloud District!"
"Definitely *not* uncomfortable when guys dm my gf"
Oyfum that hits hard
My dentist once told me "You have a beautiful dental arch"
Not sure if I should be worried.
*I can Relate To this On ANOTHER LEVEL* Because I have never said these things.
"You need an egg substitute? Blood"
Wait- you guys *don't* say that!?
No and you know what she could use real eggs
@@MelB868 real eggs don’t be naive
Things that no one says:
_"Yeah, I'm gonna break out my glasses and sit though the terms of service. They say you gotta read them."_
I had an English teacher once and she insisted that we should always read the terms of service on everything. She said that when her children wanted to get an app or something, she would read the entire terms of service before letting them get it.
Terms of service? Nah. Privacy policy? Worth a skim.
Julia I agree, I once tried to read through the whole terms of service and I almost fell asleep 😂
I did once as a child, when I didn't know what it meant but it said that you should read it, so I did. Didn't understand a word, but that wasn't required, just reading.
I read the terms of service before signing the paperwork for my psychological assessment and the psychologist stared for a moment and was like, "Wow, you're actually reading them.. most people just sign it."
"Honey wake up!"
"Ok." _gets up and makes breakfast_
*something that never happens.*
“Thank god this tag warns me to keep my underwear away from fire”
"Is taxidermy an option for humans?"
Well funny you should say that, because there's a (sort of) taxidermy man at the University College London. Jeremy Bentham had his skeleton surrounded with stuffing and dressed with his clothes. Originally his real head was to be used but it got quite grotesque after mummification. Not that it's already grotesque enough with a wax head and his real hair attached - I've seen it - he sits in a fancy box in one of the cloisters...
A fun fact absolutely no one wanted to know.
DragonMasterThlayli
I wanted to know 🙋🏼♀️ thank you good sir for your information
of course jeremy bentham did that
Black Mirror episode
“Graenolf’s mustache looks good”
“my self doubt and crippling anxiety really help me sleep at night!”
Why would nippling help u sleep?
“Honestly, it’s comforting to be left alone with my thoughts. And the ringing in my ears adds some relaxing ambience”
"I really look forward to another ad coming up in this RUclips video some time soon. And I hope it's one of the ones I've already seen 20 times."
“You know, those rubber chickens that make a wheezing noise, what if it was recreated with many humans”
“Mother Teresa wasn’t that great” lmao he obviously hasn’t heard of Christopher Hitchens
Ikr. Lad had a point too
yeah, MT was the og anti-vaxer from what I heard
Right!
Christopher Hitchens wasn't that great tbh
@@chocdesglaconshim as a person, I don't care. Him as a thinker, I disagree.
"Graenolf? Nah I don't like his videos."
"I'll function on another day" never said that out loud but I sure think this on the daily
sometimes i talk to myself when I'm home alone and my parents think that i bring my friends over
i just love it when people eat braised pork rice in the movie theatre it really makes me feel right at home
Something about his confidence and ability to own his acting ability makes me feel some type of way...
🤔🤗
For an italian like me, pronouncing latin names is very fun.
*MI CHIAMO MASSIMO DECIMO MERIDIO*
@@Handhandme comandante dell'esercito del Nord, generale delle legioni Felix, servo leale dell'unico vero imperatore Marco Aurelio!
@@edoardoprevelato6577 ahah grande
PORCO DIO
"The capital of Turkmenistan? Oh, Ashgabat duh!" actually me trying to impress new people I meet. Yes I'm fun at parties why do you ask
Looooool
What does your name mean
same tbh
Imagine a woman actually having to impress people lol
It happened to be one of few capitals I know bc I've literally lived in this country so it was impossible to not memorise it, and yeah, when I mention it, everyone get interested, so its really a way to be fun at parties
You know what
"Always be yourself, never doubt"
4:01 "You know I kinda like when other men pick the urinal beside"
See like I'm gay and I don't even like that 99% of the time
Do you ever think about the fact that on medication, when it says, "do not operate heavy machinery" it probably means cars or trucks, but we all think of construction equipment...
So many sleeper agents were activated watching this.
"Hey Preston, are there any setlesments that need my help"
omfg 😂😂
"No, all settlements are doing fine, no one needs your help AT ALL"
“I love insomnia”
Heheh... I’m basically going through insomnia right now.
The Thumbnail is a lie. On reddit someone told me:
"You're pretty but you're eyes are like dead fishs."
That's basically the nice form of saying "you're eyes are ugly"
I like dead fish
The Caesar one killed me, my step-brother said almost exactly that. I despair at him sometimes.
“Yes. I would like to donate to this charity”
Nobody:
Graenolf: "creeeemated"
??? That's how you say it
Cream ated
“Why-why am I here?”
Me when I’m literally ANYWHERE
"mother Teresa wasn't that great"
Christopher Hitchens has entered the chat
“You can get thrown into the bottom of a river...like my uncle vinnie”
*Henry Hill laugh intensifies*
you know, i forgot this guy made Skyrim content, but him moving to be a living existential crisis is great
“Life is fun”
Crazed is Dazed I think James would have to disagree
@@hildcit was just about to say that
BookDragon “We gotta make the most of it”
Crazed is Dazed true
I say that sarcastically all the time.
I thought that "egg substitute" joke was going in a very different direction lmao
6:01 actually my 9 year old brother told his class that when he grows up he either wants to become a scientist so he can invent a potion that can make our mother live forever, or become a taxidermist and stuff her. and he was 100% serious. we are now scared.
“Enjoy your drink”
“You too.”
What do you mean? I say this all the time (it's awful).
Oh my gosh, he's under the table. Has he done that before?
You missed "Sorry low table for stubbing my toe on you, it was completely my fault"
When youve got the wheel-
TWIST IT!
*suddenly*
"I thought Caesar died of old age"
*Sounds of JoJo fans crying*
I honestly wasn’t even thinking about him because he mentioned Rome just before and I was too busy remembering a photo of a Caesar pencil holder where the pencils go in his back.
“Aweee...Do u mind if I Brest feed her for a while” wft😂
"aw your kid is adorable! mind if i breast feed her for a while?" -Graenolf
That Timothee Chalamet thing killed me🤣
“Oh, man ! I’m getting paid again .. 😒” don’t you hate it when that happens ?
"your eyes are oogly" as someone who's left eye sometimes randomly becomes oogly (doesn't happen a lot) I will say that people do point it out haha
Or it's just because I live in the Netherlands and being direct is kind off our thing lol
He said "ugly," not oogly. XD Like it was a reverse of the old "You have beautiful eyes" compliment.
@@glasswolf2061 okay now I feel stupid hahaha
"Dude, did you see the Game of Thrones finale? It was so well thought out and realistic!"
im pretty sure that i hear and say the words from 1:00 - 1:03 a lot
edit: also i just drew a cute squirrel if u wanna check it out :3 (u dont have to its mediocre xd)
Lol same
Do not advertise irrelevant content plz
Quantum Stop Motions
sorry if i wasted ur time
some people seem to enjoy it tho :o
When you get to that moment of watching graenolf where you get crazy and start saying these everywhere so you can prove that he is wrong but everyone else who doesn't know him is just confused. ........
I can relate on a spiritual level... 🥴
The fact that he said all of these means the title is a lie
plot twist: his name is nobody
Simple syntactical paradox really
I love losing my keys it’s like a nice game of hide and seek!
I’m guessing we broke into his house and turned on all the lights and opened all the windows and doors. Then we started talking to him and all of this happened.
“Is there taxidermy for humans too?” Lol
The thing about Mother Theresa is accurate though.
It really is.
“I don’t think I had any cringy moments in high school” CALLED ME OUT LMAO 😂
"I mean, sure: 2001 A Space Odyssey was an exciting movie; I just wish the ending wasn't so predictable."