UPDATE: Gabby Petito’s death was just officially ruled homicide by strangulation. I am absolutely heartbroken to think that sweet Gabby was taken from this world by the actual hands of the one who promised to love and cherish her the most. I pray for her family and for all abuse victims. I hope Gabby's memory will be a blessing to us all in time. /// Thank you to Fastic for sponsoring: Free download, and get 50% off your 3 month Plus subscription here: app.adjust.com/jomu9fv I will be donating proceeds to the Gabby Petito Foundation Let me know what topics you'd like me to cover next in the comments. Love you all!
@@anniecamacho6993 The link should work on iphone, Android, desktop and tablet! Maybe try again or refresh? I think on Android it first asks you to confirm leaving YT. Hope that helps!
Your point at around 33:00 minutes about taking the blame away from abusers and placing it on the victim is something that society still does and it's so frustrating. I'm in the UK and there's been a recent unfortunate case of a woman called Sarah Everard who was murdered by a serving police officer as she walked back home. He arrested her under false pretences in order to abduct her. And yet someone (I think a councillor or commissioner) commented that she shouldn't have allowed herself to be arrested and she should've been more streetwise. Like...wtf? Why do we blame victims for being victims? Unbelievably short-sighted.
Her memory should be respected. Did you get confirmation from the family to do this? it’s indigenous peoples day how come no MMIW2 doc? Another person givin this story MORE circulation when the media has been doin its well job of just that. Why not add to the conversation and open up MORE ideas. Sad to see spanky
Knowing how much his parents were willing to cover up, you can't help but wonder how much abuse they witnessed and enabled him to put her through while she was living at their house.
He reminds me so much in his behavior, in this conversation with the police, of Chris Watts and I think he could be like an angel in his parents eyes and not showing his "true colors" at all in front of them.. But anyway - the parents reaction with not calling Gabbys parents right away when he came back without her - and even not responding when Gabbys parents tried to call and text them asking for her! Thats crazy and no matter how he explained her absence to them - it says a lot about them and how they were enabeling him.. Wonder what they will be willing to tell - if anything - now when he's found dead.. If he hasn't left any written truthfully answers to her family of what happend he is even more of a coward.. Guess he maybe told his parents the truth about her beeing dead but blamed it on an accident and manipuleted them to help him to run away ore else he would go to jail.. I cant think of anything else that would have made them completly silent - not willing to talk to Gabbys parents.. If he had told them he "just" left her it wouldn't be a reason for them to go silent-not responding from day 1 and then lawyer up.. I feel so much for Gabbys family - His family though seems like horrible people - that she lived with and should have been able to trust - and then none of them cared..
@@annychest718 And what that "friend" of Brian's mom that said she was bad with money, yet Gabby bought that van and paid for all the renovations for it. My fiance's family would never talk about me that way. They just showed the public how abusive and toxic they truly were.
as soon as gabby mentioned OCD these officers labeled the poor soul as 'crazy and unreliable' in their heads. ill bet you anything on that. never, EVER mention any kind of mental illness or anxiety to cops if you want to be taken seriously. the stigma is far too real. there needs to be FAR more social and mental health assessment training in police if we dont abolish this broken system altogether.
I have a friend in the police force & they have & do started teaching about noticing the mental illness signs in people & how to properly handle it without how these guys treated Gabby. No need for abolishment 🤦♀️
AGREED. I was once accused by a cop of being high, so I showed my script to prove I was on medication and that made it worse. I literally saw an eye roll. I was SO dismissed it took several more days to sort out the mess I hadn't even caused, just blamed cos first I was "high" and next I was "unstable". Luckily in my case, I'm Australian and it's not *quite* as dangerous as US cops, but still a scary eye opener.
@@cady__ my ex stole my child by pretending to take him on a weekend and just ... never brought him home, wouldn't answer the phone .. and he was 4 and completely non-verbal 😖😖 he filed court documents that were full of lies and then when I just went to pick him up .. they called the cops and accused me of being on drugs. I left willingly and my exes dad brought my kid home like 4 days later cos he read the court documents and knew his son had lied. Obvious lies like "mother doesn't pay child support" when he'd had him for less than 24 hours 🤦 he was gonna get in a buttload of trouble if I'd filed my response - cos I'm not dumb and had evidence of everything - so his dad was like "ooop, I'm out". While with the cops of COURSE I was hysterical and they "assumed" it was the drugs they'd been told about - I had my prescription on me cos once again, I'm not dumb when it comes to this man ... The cops didn't sort anything out at all, my exes dad did. Top grandpa right there, love him to bits ❤️❤️❤️
Did you notice Gabby look over the officer when he told her to be honest, Gabby lowered her voice and explained how he grabbed her face. I'm so heartbroken. Why do you have to be a literal victim to know the signs of DV?!😭This poor girl was apologizing, crying and taking sole blame for everything.
Because, lots of ignorant men/dude bros, still see women as irrational, hysterical, crazy, "uncontrollable" messes. You saw the one officer giving Brian a fist bump? Disgusting.
@@effy_kujo exactly. I'll never forget when I had a full breakdown for about a year in highschool and was called mopey and bitchy while I had panic attacks, hallucinations and blackouts...
"Why do you have to be a literal victim to know the signs of DV?!😭" - Yes, and so many of us who understand that dynamic and the body language , perhaps only through this find out this IS ALREADY domestic violence. Your statement is so well put.
It makes it worse that she couldn't even feel comfortable telling the cops as they all do the crap of how she's just "emotional " instead of like what's going on to really make her feel that way. I mean Being cops and dealing with DV calls before they should have known the signs of things and just chose to ignore it and the cop compare her to his "emotional ex wife", maybe that was a sign itself hmm. The more I see this video the harder it is to watch because every time I watch I see such a sad broke down girl who looked like she was crying for help and got hushed up. 😔
Yes, she's spoken to as though she's simple-minded, and the questioning is quite brusque in tone - not what I'd use if I thought I was talking to a potential dv victim... In fact, I think by the time they started to question her, they'd probably already made their minds up. I still don't get how they managed to identify the incident as dv, and then treat it as an isolated case of common assault, settle on Gabby as the aggressor, and then make out they were doing her a favour by not arresting her. They obviously had no understanding of what dv is, or they would have sought to understand the prior history, and they would have seen Gabby's action for what it was: reactive violence.
Absolutely! And I've experienced this first hand too. 😤 Hell, even when I've NOT been "emotional" PD's have been condescending and act like you are bothering them. And I'm not someone who calls at the drop of a hat. I've called because the neughbor threatened me and threatened to murder my neighbors cat for it being on his property, but until my neighbor the man called, did they take it serious. I've called because after same neighbor's dog attacked mine causing $hundreds in vet bills, he was yelling at me aggressively while swinging a hammer around as I tried to collect the payment from him-they refused to assist me, even just animal control officer to stand on the sidewalk so I could more safely collect the payment. They were dismissive when I called to report a guy in black hoodie wearing black gloves smack up against my window peering in at 3AM - but I guess they thought it serious when the next moring the man yes MAN across the street had them there for his truck window smashed and items stolen. I know it's not ALL police departments or ALL officers but it's pretty damn annoying.
What hurts me so bad is that no one offered to connect her to either her mother or father, even after he said he was thinking of his daughter, that Gabby was young, lacking life experience, and lacked coping skills. Those police officers abandoned her and did not connect her with any support system. They failed her.
Absolutely. A Young Girl in trouble : Ask her about her SUPPORT SYSTEM : IS THERE A FAMILY MEMBER ( Calling “parents” would reinforce deeper her victim shame of “not being able to cope” and like being a child in trouble at school ) OR A FRIEND that could STAY WITH HER they could call for her ? Which would have encouraged HER TO OPEN UP and she would have either told them CALL HER PARENTS OR she had siblings who would have alerted the parent TO HELP IMMEDIATELY ! There where so many failures along the way BUT why the body cam footage HAUNTS ME to his day : This was the moment, THE FORK in the PATH where the actions of these police officers could have gotten Gabby o the safety of he family. They failed her. They failed to SEE, as men, even a Father of a daughter could not see what we as women could SEE SO OBVIOUSLY : as Woman, on a fundamental level we live in a world knowing that men are a potential and REAL physical danger . The potential threat turns to REAL FEAR and most all women have witnessed or survived any form of Physical A* or an SA at the hands of a man know that is a painful RE-shaping of a girl’s naive innocent world view into the harsh reality of that makes a woman’s INTUITION … Men just don’t know what it is, to be a victim in this way. They don’t have the same intuition. However, they are societally conditioned to be wary of the “ hysterically emotional women” that use exaggerated crying as a way to exert power over rational conflict resolution and emotionally manipulate … The Police Officers where not even inadequate when it came to the BASICS of what the OFFENDER’S CHARGE WAS or WHO THE LAWS PROTECTS … Like I said, it wasn’t just one but so many failures on the part of all these men, male brain group think … ? The cops too fell victim to a form of cohesion by a well versed manipulative predatory ego that knew how and what to say to lie and gaslight his way out of a tricky situation and like a fucking magician performing a trick pulled HIS CELLPHONE OUT that no one saw or realised needed it’s own charger …. It Fucking hurt me so much to watch these men “handle” I don’t want to be overtly critical of these police officers - there are some many cultural complexities tolayers asby but the body cam footage has ALWAYS HAUNTED ME. the officers The way these officers handled Gabby It is so telling how, despite coming from a ‘broken’ home : That where no less Good Parents and where never divided when it came down to it : Gabby’s ENTIRE Immediate AND EXTENDED Family , ALL her Parents: Mother, FATHER AND STEP FATHER MOBILISED IMMEDIATE ACTIVELY SEARCHES to FIND her … Even Brian’s sister was compelled to do the RIGHT THING and give information to HELP find Gabby, as a Mother herself and someone who loved Gabby … That is an extremely difficult stance to take. To go against family even when it is the right thing to do. The sister is harshly criticised but she did redeem herself somewhat and I can completely relate with a very, similar situation - advocating that my nephew be granted Legal custody to his Father, who he already was living with to protect him from my sister, who I knew was an narcotic abusive unfit mother … Despite knowing WITHOUT a DOUBT that this was the in absolutely BEST interest of a minor child : my Mom had passed in 2015 (who basically raised this child 1-5years) so there was no other next of kin : I didn’t hesitate - The Right thing is often the hardest, most painful thing despite MY strong moral convictions that what I was doing was RIGHT and as an ACT OF LOVE to ADVOCATE for my Nephew … To go AGAINST my sister, as her Father, he couldn’t go against his daughters even despite knowing the FACTS and that there was a threat that she would effectively “kidnap” him to extort the monthly child support money … Family’s dynamics are each extremely complicated. Brian’s parent’s LIED to the federal government, where an accessory to HIS CRIME and with THEIR HELP was able to get a head start in getting away …. Makes me Question which version of the story he lied to get that right …
I actually live in Utah, and honestly it doesn’t surprise me one bit that the officers mishandled this situation. Cops in Utah are far more likely to take a mans testimony as truth, long before believing women from my experience.
I come from Austria and in a DV situation with my abuser ex this exact same thing happened to me too. I think it is a problem around the world. Many women here have been killed by their abusive partners already because police didn't take them seriously. It's infuriating
i live on long island. girls here from all ages are always with the wrong guys for whatever reason. my boyfriend and my sisters boyfriends are good guys. that guy did come from florida though. florida people are craaazyyy
We lived in S.L.C. and Magna for 20 years and have seen this same behavior many times and not just cops. Women are held to church and ego's on men. Peace and blessings.
This whole situation once again highlights how ill-equipped police officers are at assessing DV cases. It was so frustrating to witness how quickly they sided with Brian and completely lost sight of the precipitating phone call from the witnesses. Not only do they need more training, but they truly need mental health professionals to provide dual-response in these situations. Officers are not social workers, nor should the be expected to fulfill the duties of that role when responding to these calls
Did you watch both body cam videos? It was the dispatcher who failed to convey that the caller said he hit her. Then the second officer was not given that callers info & the other witness he called said she hit him. Those officers did nothing wrong. They spent an hour with them trying to assess the situation etc. Yes Brian killed her but we don’t know that he was abusive towards her. What if what she said were true? That because of her ocd & anxiety she got upset easily, expressed anger, whatever. Maybe she was the volatile one? Despite that he should never have lost control the way he did. This whole thing is such a tragedy.
@@HandbagDiva She didn't have diagnosed OCD. She had the same "OCD" as everyone that a neat freak has. It's not *actual* OCD. *Real* OCD is having to do repetitive actions a certain number of times before moving on to something else, it's having to do certain tasks in a meticulous manner that you find acceptable. Being overly cleanly and not liking messiness is not the only aspect to being OCD. No, *you* a person who has never been the victim of DV could not tell that Gabby was being abused, but those of us who have could easily see it. Hell, you'd have to be really fucking dense to not pick up on all the signs that Brian was abusing her! Victims will profusely apologize, overcorrect, and blame themselves for their abuser's behavior because that's what abusers train us to do. They break us down through isolation, gaslighting and emotional manipulation, negging, and threats to ourselves and our loved ones, then reconstruct us to be silent, docile, and submissive servants, shields, and whatever they need us to be to feel good about themselves. It was not the dispatcher's fault. I saw "both body cams" and I can say with 100% certainty that the police officers fucked up and it was absolutely their fault for siding with Brian and protecting him. But of course they would do that when 40% of police officers are perpetrators of DV themselves. Male police officers are just as abusive of their spouses as NFL players are to theirs, and nobody is outraged or gives a fuck because they've been raised on the pervasive copaganda that has painted cops as an unalloyed good throughout history, as if the profession wasn't founded specifically to track and capture escaped black slaves to bring back to their abusive owners, and because r*pe culture and violence against women has been so normalized in our society for longer than the police force has been around, and people automatically believe that women who are the victims of r*pe and DV are lying and "making it up to take down good men", that idiots like you will twist yourselves into pretzels in order to absolve abusers and police officers of their behaviour. All cops are bastards, period.
Yeah, police officers aren't trained to pick up on nuances of behaviour. In their eyes, he was friendly and pleasant. She had no reason to be scared- What they didn't realise, is that abusive people are like that. To understand DV cases, you have to use reverse psychology. A relationship is an emotionally close relationship. It's the closest form of relationship there is, so when someone is falsely accused of DV, they're more likely to lash out in the moment because the person they're closest to is betraying them. An abusive person on the other hand is going to be a lot kinder when they're being accused, Because one. They've had to get themselves out of the situation before. and Two. They view their spouse as an emotional outlet- They don't care about the person they're with, they just care about what they can do to that person to deal with their own impulses.
@@HandbagDiva What you said there is true, yes. However, There's clearly something wrong going on in the relationship. She looks terrified of her partner, and he's all sunflowers and sunshine as if his girlfriend didn't just accuse him of domestic violence. No person is going to be terrified of someone for no reason, and a normal partner isn't going to be all bubbles and iced latte's when there partner is accusing them of DV. The police can't legally do anything, no. But you don't have to arrest either of them to get either of them out of the situation- You just have to get them away from eachother. As she's the accuser, you could offer to drive her to her home, to a hotel, or at least to the nearest bus stop. It's still a part of a police officers job to de-escalate situations and make sure that both sides are okay- The police officers just failed to do that.
All your comments about how Brian is calm and almost charming while Gabby is crying are spot on! It is how both my abusive parents would behave. We get into an argument and the moment a bystander came by and witnessed it, they'd turn on the charm and play up that I'm just mentally ill. It was horrible and terrifying because suddenly everyone is automatically against you. And even worse, I personally feel like abusive parents get even more of a pass than abusive partners. Like we as a culture are still tackling abusive partners and just beginning to learn to get it right, but when it comes to abusive parents, too many people want to find every way they can to justify it.
My mum abused me as a kid and was like this. She was so charming and people still think she’s lovely there’s no doubt in my mind that abusive parents are just given a pass. I have no clue why but there’s just no consequences when it comes to parents abusing children
If it was the cops daughter he would have hauled Brian's punk a--- in so fast it would have made his head spin. They got the call prior to the stop he is the freaking aggressor stupid.
YASS!!! Love this comment. She'd still be alive most likely. So tragic. I wonder how that cop who wanted to be so cool around him is feeling right now.
Oh, he has trained that daughter up from infancy to be his scapegoat. Everything he does is her fault, and everything anybody else does to her is an insult to him, unless she can somehow be blamed (or both, most likely). Beardy Cop Eric Pratt (former mormon) divorced the "anxious" wife who "set off his anxiety", and I bet she comes across much the same way that Gabby did. She might have a story to tell, and I sure hope she has managed to protect that daughter to some extent, so she does not go for a pure daddy copy which will lead her into narc relationships!
@@eirintowne His fellow officer was Roberts/Robbins? & the one to seal Gabby's fate. Also dictated to his wife! Listen to his confab while driving BL to his comfy digs for the night compliments of Moab Police Dept.
The way Brian acts with the cops is the way my ex husband acted the night he shot at me, pistol whipped and tazed me. The cops acted like I was making it up cuz I was shaking and terrified and he was acting friendly and calm like they were all buddies. Gabby didn't deserve this. I will tell anyone, if your partner hurts you, run. They will do it again. Don't wait for cops, don't wait for a restraining order, just run far and run fast please.
@@agrsvbutterfly I tried to "just leave" like everyone always recommends but no one ever explained how dangerous it is to just leave. I had no plan. I feel like they should have a social worker or anyone who has professional experience with DV because cops don't know enough the only reason my ex went to jail was because I had a witness who saw everything if it wasn't for him hands down I'd be dead because It would of been a he said she said case.
"Cops tend to get it wrong" Ya buddy you defs got it wrong here... Im in social work and the first red flag would be how distraught she is. If there was a phonecall placed of a domestic violence complaint, take them in, get a social worker/counsellor involved, do some separate interviewing and investigation
The fact that the police tell HER "we don't want to get YOU into trouble..." the level of manipulation to make the victim scared to even talk about what happened.
It is a manipulation so They can get the truth about what happened Which is they job they’re not psychologists they are literally people who enforce the law and They need to know who the instigator of the physically altercation is so they can do their job as they stated they’re have to by law press charges because this is an assumption I’m making in the past man have stopped cops from prosecuting women who abuse them because it’s seen as a weaknesses if they do 😅 Not saying that Gabby is to blame just that the cops aren’t either you can’t do your job when people don’t tell you the truth even if there was one witness that said The woman was slapped …. the other one said only he pushed her And they asked him on the body cam footage And he admitted to pushing her but both of them said that she hit him first🤷♀️
How is he standing joking, and fist bumping the cops while she's in the back on the police SUV completely breaking down crying her eyes out. What a piece of work. THAT RIGHT THERE, shows you what kind of person he really is. You know they were still fighting while driving being that it was so erratic. I wonder if he noticed the cops behind him.
Those pigs fist bumped and joked with a dude that they just got a call saying he was hitting her...absolutely disgusting they all need to be looked into.
This video hits so many issues that I have went through in my past 12 year physical, emotional and mental abusive I went through with my ex. I personally experienced similar situations with police where I used to live. The officers always sided with my ex. Thankfully, I was able to get away from him with my children several years ago, safely, after I finally got someone to see the true situation, and help us.
I think Laundrie got surprised that the cops were right behind him. I wonder what him and Gabby were fighting about on Aug 12th? That fight started when they had just come out of that food store those two murdered women owned in Moab. Strange! Was Laundrie telling Gabby to help him shoplift in that store or do something she wasn't willing to do? That slapping fight seemed like something more than an ordinary lovers spat! And even when they drove away it continued. Until they were stopped by those cops. Maybe that's why Gabby couldn't tell the cops what was the problem. She knew Laundrie was telling her to commit a crime. They'd both get arrested at that point if she said that. An interesting twist.
The simple fact that the Utah State Police didn't run the tag # on the van to find out who's van it was, which was Gabby's they should have held then both separately and let Gabby since she was the female drive herself home?! Also adults or not the Police should have contacted Gabby's Parents especially when she indicated the she had OCD + anxiety issues! The lead officer should be fired because their piss poor Police work more less caused Gabby to be strangled to death! Sad story could I have 10 minutes with the killer?
My mom was a 911 disbatcher and she told me that when they get a call from someone completely calm hearing the the partner screaming or being hysterical in the background, they know the abuser is probably the one who called. Why tf don't cops know?
Dokladnie. Dziwne że ktoś kto jest np atakowany bądź jest świadkiem czyjejś histerii jest całkowicie opanowany? Oni doskonale wiedzą że takie zachowanie osoby dzwoniącej nie jest naturalne. Sprawcy często udają spokój aby nie wzbudzać podejrzeń tyle że to już jest doskonale znane dyspozytorom numerów alarmowych i policji. Przynajmniej w Polsce. Dziwne że ci policjanci zbagatelizowali to nienaturalne zachowanie tego chłopaka.
bc it’s an assumption. I’ve witnessed abusers cry and play the victim once a 3rd party comes around. People are quick to side with the person wit tears
As a DV survivor his vehement hatred of social media hit a nerve. Abusers want you isolated and vulnerable so they keep you away from friends, family, loved ones, basically anywhere you can get the strength and support to leave them. He had her isolated through van life, but social media was a life line to her. She could gain positive feedback, support, attention etc all the things he hates. Plus anything that takes a victims time and attention away from the abuser (job, pet, child, friend, hobby) becomes a problem. RIP
Absolutely 100% agree. Excuse my personal story if you’re not interested. Both of my emotionally and mentally abusive boyfriends HATED social media and got extremely mad when I was on it, even though it was a source of relaxation and community for me. I didn’t realize that what they were trying to do was isolate me. All it looked like was they were strong in their convictions about hating social media and finding the use of it problematic. Almost like they wanted to help me. But of course, they didn’t. I read that kind of behavior as a red flag now.
The fact that the 911 call said HE HIT HER and the cops immediately made it out to be her fault really pissed me off. Of course she blamed herself that's what victims do. They failed her, I really hope that station is looked into to.
Wow, after everything I’ve learned about Narc behavior.. I never realized THIS is why he doesn’t want me on social media.. He distanced all my family, friends and even made me not care for my pets!!! When I learned what was going on.. I started to build back my relationships and take my pets out with me again. He still wanted to stop me using social media (Facebook was the only account I had at that point)- even though I had made a group he wanted to do !! If I went on and checked on friends he would walk away, throw a tantrum. His excuse was You SHOULD BE DOING THE GROUP AND STOP BEING DISTRACTED. This was the only way to connect with friends UGH. Every day I learn something new. This guys behavior seems so similar, get the other person to start something they actual love and are happy doing - THEN DESTROY it🥺😣. I am so sad for her family.
I love that even through everything her parents are going through her dad still wanted to make it a point to let it be known that every missing person deserves the coverage Gabby got! He said he is so grateful for media and social media for helping bring Gabby home and he wants to see media and social media doing the same for all missing people! Gabby has such a beautiful soul and I can see why...her family is incredible! Also, thank you for speaking up for so many people who either cant or are too afraid!
Yes truly amazing and humble people:( just goes to show the integrity of theirs and definitely gabbys character. Rest In Peace Gabby, and to all of of the people who NEVER deserved to be a missing person poster.
@SWOOP As a mental health professional, if the disturbance is an ongoing current event caused by an abuser, then it would be unethical to determine the victim as having a mental health crisis. (Key in the sentence: Disturbance not caused by Victim's mental health issue). Also, interviewing the victim (self-diagnosed or not) in proximity to the abuser, both sides of the story cannot be taken as accurate here. Victims, especially ones labeled with mental health issues, are used to receiving the short end in these situations and so, naturally, will be anxious (It's only human nature, not a mental health thing). Whereas the abuser is close enough (both hearing distance & interpersonal relationship-wise) to gaslight the victim or use their diagnosis against them in reporting. It is best to take both (Brian & Gabby for example) in for questioning, into separate rooms, instead. And if there is a way to ensure further separation (set up Gabby to go straight back to her parent's place in this DV case) to ensure physical safety and therefore emotional relief, only after some time when body chemicals have self-regulated, determine Gabby's mental state. There have been others in Gabby's situation where the victim will be charged, taken in, or left with the abuser. Unfortunately, my industry is F****d up, so scapegoating or institutionalizing a victim too quick, is standard. And patients must be diagnosed for billing purposes and to release from the hospital, even if they don't actually have anything. Which is unethical billing practices, the APA feels no need to challenge insurance companies on. But this does affect your social security record, which can affect your rights, but is left out of the initial disclosures of entering therapy. So if someone just needs to talk, think twice before going the therapist route. Self-diagnosers are not fully aware of what being really labeled entails until it is too late where they either find themselves in Brittney's situation unjustly or trying to escape their wrecked identity altogether, and not being taken seriously by doctors for even non-mental related visits. Someone who is aware avoids mainstream therapy altogether. An ethical person or system would not determine this dispute to be caused by a mental health crisis, because of the way the police handled it, and there is no way of being sure of that. We shouldn't take Gabby's word here, even if not self-diagnosed, she could've been focused on her own attempt of de-escalating the situation as victims do often. And even with a legit diagnosis, ethical practice is to still do a separate evaluation in an instance like this; not knowing the ethics of the original professional of the diagnosis & not having witnessed the start of the DV situation. We shouldn't take an abuser's word AT ALL but do a proper investigation. Especially when in the police cam footage, Brian's cuts on his head disappear and re-appear. And later his dad is scenes laughing it up with authorities.
Yes they should have flown one back home and one drive home. If they lived in their car not near anyone they know gabble would not have any other thought but to keep going. If when they split for a day in hotels. She would know he needs his stuff and a ride home.
Thanks for your kind words for survivors Your words enabled me to cry about my own situation for the first time in almost four years I kicked out my ex after 36 yrs of marriage-I survived!
@Rotem mati You can 'disagree' all you like but evidence shows otherwise. Many join the police force because they enjoy domination and control a predisposition to DV and other abuses.
This whole case is so heartbreaking, especially that Brians parents just "ghosted" Gabbys parents...but the two RUclipsrs finding that video on their dead son's birthday just gave be literal chills.
Did the cops not pick up on him taking a phone out of his pocket, after saying he didn't have one? Or the fact that her message to Brian was for him to not forget his phone charger?
And people are in such shock when they say they hate police or belittle them! You can teach all the sensitivity training and all of the gun training and “how to be a police officer” training that you want but common sense can’t be taught no matter what job you’re doing
@@rookholgado2966 this!! I know this might be a bit strong but I do believe all police (globally) should be put into simulated situations in training that mimic the ones in this video. Things like having a woman act as a victim of DV or other things could help police develop some of that common sense through practice. Or maybe it's impossible to teach an old system a new way of dealing with things 😣
as a survivor of domestic violence, the ONLY difference between me and Gabby's fate is that my local LEOs were actually trained well in domestic violence and partnered with the local resource center. after my ex strangled me, they arrested him and basically forced us apart even though i was willing to minimize everything and wanted to stay with him. may Gabby rest in Paradise and may her death not be in vain and instead save other lives in DV situations
Same babe same. My ex stabbed me twice. Tried to slice my throat but I was able to block it. I jumped out of his car while he was driving. Once I finally got to the hospital and the cops came I said I didn't want to press charges.. thankfully the cops said they didn't care that THEY would press charges. I still saw him that night I can't believe how manipulated I was by him.
My ex strangled me and my neighbor heard the commotion from her apartment and called the police. When they got there they ignored her telling them what she heard and they arrested me instead
@@fernandagarcia877 Women refuse to realize that it will only escalate! My aunt ended up killing her husband back in the 60's after years and years of ever escalating abuse! I refused to live like that!
@@cactusqltr do u know what manipulation is??? Did U watch the video, dear Lord get a grip. Rip ur sweet grandma 👵🏻 too…but on a real note why would u respond to a person sharing with bullcrap??
That bearded cop that horned in and took over should lose his job. Everything he did makes HIM look like an abuser. He created the dismissive atmosphere and labeling of Gabby that caused the other cops to ultimately go quiet.
Yep, none of us were shocked when we later found out that the bearded cop reportedly had prior DV charges for his abuse against the "emotional ex wife" he spoke of in the body cam footage for this case. Unsurprisingly, stats show that at least 40% of police officers are self reported DV perps themselves! It's absolutely sickening!!
@@blondepinkie3987I'm not surprised that an abuser would want to be a cop where they can get satisfaction from being in a place of power and being able to "dominate" people.
Honestly, this is one of the reasons why people want social workers being more involved in the police force. After police determine it's safe for a social worker to arrive on scene of domestic abuse cases, then the social worker should be allowed to make a call on what to do in this situation. They're trained to identify abuse and how to handle them. Also, cops NEED to be trained on this shit too because they're definitely DEFINITELY lacking.
I'm not surprised that police were that insensitive. I've experienced that. I was 15 and got into a physical fight with my father. I spent my whole saturday drawing digitally and when he got home (drunk), after a while, forcefully turned the pc down. I was mad at him, he was verbally abusing me, and just wanted to draw peacefully. But when I got up from my desk to go to my room, he charged at me and that evolved into a full on fight. He torn up my pajamas, thrown me and his father against the wall, I scratched and bit him. After that I called the police - mind you, it wasn't our first fight, I just loved him so much and didn't want to get him in trouble, but it was too much. He was screaming at me the whole time. I was scared, in shock. Then the police arrived. They asked 15-year old me what happened and I, through tears, tried to tell them, but I didn't even get to get to the fighting, when they asked me if my parents ever beaten me with a cord. Shocked, I said no. They started laughing and belittling me, because I wasn't... abused enough I guess? They didn't listen to me. They joked with my paps and left. I was so... shocked, heartbroken, a part of me that was counting on people to help me died that day. I just wanted him to be taken away for a night so he could sober up. He was not, instead, I was humiliated. I'm not anymore shocked by any awful actions made by policeman's, especially when you see what was happening in Poland (where I live) in December. That's the sad reality we live in.
I’m wishing you lots of luck 🍀, love 💕, and peace ☮️. I know this is cheesy but idk what to say, I had this happen to me at the same damn age just a different situation. I just hope ur doing better now.
Yup. When I was 17, I called the police for help when my mother (who was bipolar) was attacking me and having a manic episode, and I didn’t know what to do. The police turned it around on me and said if I was good and listened to my mom then they wouldn’t have to take ME away and lock ME up. I was so terrified I just stopped talking and knew, from that point on, there was no getting help.
I'm from Poland too and I know what you mean. That’s why I will never go back there. The misogyny, our rights being taken away, women dying because of these laws decided by old men. I'm truly sorry for what you've been through!😢
@@Venvaneless It's truly awful. As an LGBTQ+, I'm constantly so worried for mine and my friends safety. I hope I can get the fuck outta here soon, safely. I'm glad you're safe and, I hope, happy.
@@jmathiason experienced a friend's manic episode a few months ago and I can't imagine trying to get your mother to calm down or.... anything. You're very brave and I hope safe now.
I am a survivor of DV and in 2020 my Autistic son was finally able to come forward and speak about some of the awful abuse he suffered during court ordered visitations with our abuser. This entire case has been so close to my heart and I send all my love to Gabby's family. Escaping DV is hard and even today my PTSD is real and hard. Swoop I started crying when you said you are worth it. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that today
I’m sending you support, too. I was abused as a child and witnessed verbal and emotional abuse of my mom. I was also emotionally abused by some of my exes. I have severe CPTSD and other issues from it all. We have to remember that we didn’t cause or deserve the abuse. I strongly believe that Gabby was abused in several ways.
@@mswendybear1 . I believe that Brian was being abused mentally and physically by Gabby. She had a tantrum and Brian was forced to defend himself ""Again" but this time he hit back too hard which resulted in her death. What people have to remember is it's not just the man that can be the aggressor, women can be just as bad. I should know, I lived through a 4 year violent relationship which I left after she finally went too far and hit me once too often!!!
Research reactive abuse. That is exactly why she lost is. He was TRYING to provoke her, thus making HER look like the abuser although the opposite is true
This was exactly what I thought. They really get your emotions high especially around others so that they can point at you and say "look how crazy they are!!! Look how calm and collected I am!". I'm so sorry for gaby...
Officers ignored the bruise on her face and the scratch on her arm or hand. They also completely ignored how he was trying to steal her van. Her "violence" was an attempt to prevent him from stealing it.
Based on the videos, they never seemed to ask to see the registration. And Swoop makes a very good case about them not delving deep enough into the report about a "man slapping the woman". The cop that first talks to Brian in the driver seat mentions the incident as it was reported. They then don't ask him about what was reported. Why wouldn't they assume that she scratched him because he was slapping her!!!!!!!!!!!! Trying to defend herself... or trying to keep him from taking off in HER car, HER home! And somewhere I think I read he took her phone! Remember when he's at the back of the van talking to LE and says he "doesn't really have a phone", and then proceeds to pull a phone out of his pocket? These officers need to go back to school to learn about DV behaviors! This is just beyond maddening :(
the way that brian is with the police is exactly how my ex would act in front of people when i would try to tell them what was going on. it makes me so sad that the ACTUAL POLICE don’t seem to understand that she’s obviously scared and SHAKING
I had to help a friend get out of a house with an abusive ex friend/landlord, and we had the cops there. The abuser was trying so hard to be friendly with the cops, to the point where it was almost hilarious. She was so loud and overly "welcoming" at first, but the cops didn't buy it. Thankfully, she wasn't a good actress, and we told them ahead of time that part of the issue was she was very manipulative.
The whole thing with the bodycams just prove that we DESPARATELY need to re-vamp how LEO approach these situations. I don't feel comfortable saying if the cops did or did not do the right thing at that time. In Hindsight we damn well know that something was massively wrong and they could have done more, however this is more proof that we can't dump all situations on cops, we need broader staff with skillsets that can ID and handle these things along with protocols on when to elevate. IE when the cop thought she was having a breakdown...why didn't he call somebody else? The cold reality could be there was nobody TO call. These cops just didn't have the skill sets to properly see what was happening.
I don't believe that the cops didn't see what was happening. Statistically a shit ton of cops are abusers, so I'm not surprised at all they were buddy-buddy with Brian. I especially don't trust the cop that asked if Brian was "patient" with her
@@Deadpool4president It's really hard to judge on that because one of the ways cops are taught to question people is to build rapport. Yes, they could be being all buddy buddy but it could also be trying to make Brian comfortable so he talks. I'm not saying this approach is good or bad, I'm just saying it is a thing.
Brian's online persona was meant to degrade Gabby. His disdain for social media and the Internet was targeted at what Gabby was doing. It was a way of putting her down, indirectly. When he talked to the police he referred to her website as her "little website." We know that this got to Gabby because she told the police he didn't believe in her. He was likely 1) sabotaging her efforts (by disrupting her work, by insisting they leave when she was trying to get her website up and running), and creating a lot of conflict while she worked (w/her and w/restaurant staff) and 2) he was demeaning what she did and her by extension through his constant posts about how worthless social media is. From his comments about humanity, we see Brian elevating himself above others and the level of his contempt for others, couched as his concern for nature. He was a very narcissistic, manipulative, entitled man. I can imagine that he was creating conflict with Gabby on purpose to make her look bad (crazy, selfish, incompetent, shallow) all the time. He seemed to be quite talented at the sly putdowns and passive aggressive stirring the pot to create conflict. That trip must have been a nightmare for Gabby.
Exactly couldn’t have said it better ! If you see the video of gabby in the tent where it rained all night you can get a glimpse of how her trip must have been. Poor girl died believing she was the problem
Plus isolating/removing her from her family when they both moved in with his parents who didn’t care enough to communicate with her parents. I can’t imagine what a nightmare it was living in the house with all of them, considering how swiftly they took Brian’s side even when she was clearly missing.
The boyfriend,Brian, was systematically manipulating and undermining Gabby . Who diagnosed her with OCD? She said he doesn’t have faith in me. He was breaking her confidence and sense of self worth. It must have escalated horribly. He would “poke the bear “ she’d get defensive and agitated and then he’d tell her “to calm down”. She would then blame herself. I would “ apologize to him….he stresses me out”
With anxiety you tend to have OCD. I have situational anxiety and cptsd from abuse. And bc of it I tend to be OCD. Bc when you have any kind of anxiety brought on by abuse ( emotional, physical, mental) you have no control bc somebody is controlling you so being ocd abt things are the only things you have control. And you can't help it. Just like gabby talking to the cops...its so clear she was abused. And she was hysterical bc she was 1. Scared of telling them that she gets beat bc brian would of let her have it. 2. She was in the middle of a anxiety attack. And yes you get that way with a anxiety attack and its hard tp calm down. i know. Been there done it. So yes..she had OCD.
@@mdk0516 I don't think she was OCD at all. She was not diagnosed with it, or taking medication for it. She used the terminology as slang imho and because he is such a jerk, he had her thinking that simply wanting to keep the van clean and orderly, somehow made her the problem. He's the lowest form of human. But he'll still have crazy women writing him and trying to be his gf, when and if he ever gets caught and thrown in prison where he belongs.
“He locked her out of her own home” That hit me so hard, I hadn’t thought about it that way. And in the end, he did in fact, abandon her. RIP sweet girl 🕊
I've been binge-watching videos about this case all day, and this is the first time anyone's mentioned it. I hadn't thought of it like that till I heard it here. Excellent point.
Kendall Rae mentioned that in the body cam footage, one of the cops commented something along the lines of “women in these relationships end up getting killed” and that was so sick to me
My Mom cried to me after seeing this body cam footage that she was scared for years that an argument of this nature would be the start of abuse that lead to my death at the hands of my ex. Watching Gabby broke my heart as I could put myself im her exact place hundreds of times over- afraid to tell the truth & feeling responsible for the abuse I was receiving. I'm so thankful for your inclusion of the signs of DV.
Same here. My parents told me that what Brian’s parents did to protect him, that my ex’s family would do too. I’m glad I’m out of that relationship and that you are too. Stay strong ❤️
@@heatherrniicole1552 A scenario like that has happened to me which is just so crazy! I was arrested for leaving my home and having my ex follow me around the neighborhood screaming at me. A bystander called the cops to report that i was being followed and taunted but because there was no "recorded" proof they arrested me saying that by fleeing the scene it was basically admitting guilt.
as a survivor of narc abuse (18 years worth, ugh), the body cam footage is so frustrating to watch. the narc abuser is always so calm, so helpful while the victim looks super upset, can come across as unhinged and "not right in the head", etc. it's a classic, heartbreaking scene.
I completely understand. A narcissist will provoke you to react emotionally due to their dismissive behaviors. They abuse mentally and emotionally. And then act like they haven’t done anything. The narcissist crave attention and loves being the victim. Police need to take Psycology and Sociology courses as a part of their curriculum to arm themselves with knowledge necessary to navigate through these scenarios. I literally became emotional watching her bc I feel her pain. And then Brian remaining calm. True narcissism. RIP Gabby.
He was calm because he put her in that state, and they can shut down and present calm to manipulate people especially if it’s gonna undermine you. Only to blow up at the victim after no one is watching.
really the officers should've been ALARMED at how jovial and calm brian was being, meanwhile his girlfriend is SOBBING in the back of a police car. any sensible, innocent man would be beside himself with worry or at least upset at the overall situation. such a heartbreaking case. had they been separated then, perhaps gabby could still be alive... god rest her beautiful soul. the body cam video is chillingly sad and incredibly telling of how incompetent the police force is in DV cases. officers not only often side with abusers, they too often *are* domestic abusers... they gaslit the crap out of her to blame herself without even realizing it. ive heard that kind of talk ("you dont have the skills to deal with stress..." "you're probably very anxious") too often myself. ill bet as soon as the poor soul mentioned OCD (whether she actually had it or not) they immediately labled her as 'crazy and unreliable' in their minds. so condescending.
What bothered me the most about how LE handled this is that one of the officers referred to Gabby in terms of his own wife or ex-wife as he laughed with Brian that women just act that way like it was a good old boy joke about how women often do not make sense.
The officer acted that way with Brian probably to get him to let his guard down like with “ a buddy” so he might slip up and say something. Believe it or not, the cops aren’t always to blame. this is all on Brian. That monster took her life. He decided to abuse her and take her life.
@@mackenzieshirley7219 I agree that Brian was the monster and I also understand the "Good Ole Boy" talk that the officer did with Brian. However, that officer just needs better training in domestic situations or he has been trained and is just "set in his ways". An even worse mistake was made when the officer threatened Gabby with taking her in as though it was her fault. Gabby then became more afraid and shut down.
it will be very difficult to change those men and how they act. u cant do it overnight. and it is not helping anyone with those feminist idéology. some of us are Really crazy this days.
As a survivor of domestic violence i never would say he hit me, even if he pushed..grabbed hair..ect. as long as he didn't punch me like a man I wouldn't say he hit me. Abusers know not to leave marks where people will question.
Yes, I would let an ex bf push me and slap me and leave bruises sneak in my house and jump on me in my sleep and hold me down and cuss me out and headbutt me even, but as long as he didn't square up and punch me in my face and break my jaw or anything I would always tell everyone he didn't touch me at ALL. As long as he didn't bruise something I couldn't cover up. The cops asked me if he hit me and I said no way he never touched me. They asked many times because I was obviously disheveled and I denied he ever did anything wrong. I escaped long ago though. But I'd do that too.
And when they do, they know how they'll cover it up. My birth father (who is not my real dad, my step dad is my "real" dad) once broke my mother's nose and shoved her down the stairs. He made she to shove her after so he could tell the hospital she fell. He kept getting away with it until child me sought help for SA, physical trauma that nothing he said could cover up.
Same. My ex would even say "I have never punched you" as evidence that he wasn't abusive. Why are we all conditioned to think that abuse must be extreme and bloody to be valid?
It’s so haunting and absolutely heartbreaking watching this now a year later knowing everything that happened. He took a beautiful human away and she got no justice.
I’m 20 minutes in and already just fuming; the cops talking to Gabby were so condescending towards her when talking about “her emotional and mental struggles at her age”. They had a witness and a phone call saying that Brian hit Gabby and her telling them he wouldn’t let her in the car as well as being violent. They should’ve brought them both in, at least that way they could’ve had an actual professional talk to Gabby about what happened. Clearly she wasn’t alright. It breaks my heart
It CRUSHES me the way they treated her. They were basically fist bumping this douche with multiple reports of HIM hitting HER. It’s horrendous. Absolutely horrendous.
You should watch the WHOLE 2 videos instead of jumping to conclusions from select picks from the video. I agree with the hindsight analysis, however, the cops did all they could with the evidence presented: i.e the second 911 call that DIDN’T mention brian striking her. Also, the van, as fiancés, would be considered communal property. Like a house under one spouse’s name being community property for both. This is a textbook case for reallocating police funding from armored vehicles to trained professionals in mental health and domestic violence.
I watched this case carefully .... And it took me another 6 months to realised I was married to a Brian. I'd didn't even SEE it until afterwards. 2 months out of that relationship, I'm still a hermit, crying every day and bingeing Swoop. Best recovery ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
They won’t be unless it can be proven that they knew he murdered her when they helped him. He wasn’t “wanted” when he fled. If they continue to helped him and have continued to help him (even knowing where he is) then they can be charged. Either way, I HOPE they are charged for aiding and abetting bc their cruelty has been LOUDER than words!
I can't believe they didnt call her parent's when he returned in her van ! I can't believe they'd help him if they knew anything no matter how much they love him they must turn him in not help him !
my ex used to take my phone and my keys and would revel in how i would react, how he could look calm while i looked crazy trying to get MY things back. i cant imagine going through that while being away from all my family and friends. RIP Gabby.
He's on the run, not missing. His family's law enforcement connection is the only reason he's considered "missing". I got out of a relationship with a narcissist it was hard. I had to plan it for a week and snuck out.
Just from the conversation of officer Robbins/Roberts when taking BL to the hotel/motel for the night he used to be a lond distance truck driver & his wife would accompany him, so he was yapping on about travelling the highways & byways & also his own relationship (as well as where his current residence is) with BL.
Honestly, no matter how angry I get at someone I'm dating (which, admittedly, isn't much - I date chill people), if I saw them as distressed as Gabby was, anger gone. I wouldn't be able to be happy and jovial if they were sobbing.
What you're saying is absolutely correct. If you love someone, seeing them in that much distress would break your heart and you'd immediately try to soothe them. The fact that he was laughing and joking with the cops as well as STILL ARGUING with her in the car just shows how toxic of a person he is.
That's so true. I don't think police officers get that. No person being accused of DV is going to be happy about it. Innocent people are going to be feeling angry and upset because they're being betrayed by the person they care about most, but someone who commit DV is probably going to be either guilty or calm because it's either the first time they've hit a partner, or they hit people frequently and know how to lie themselves ou the situation. Being happy and friendly is the most suspicious thing a person can do when being accused of DV. It's just... who on earth would be happy whilst being accused of causing the person they care most about psychological distress and putting them in physical harm?
"The state of Utah deemed that officers can't make the right decisions because there's a lot of officers that haven't made the right decisions so they made a law and we don't really have the choice here" says the officers that LITERALLY MAKE THE WRONG DECISION. Way to set an example. 👏🏼
Exactly!! Like, THIS IS WHY THEY MADE THE LAW, dipshit, now follow it. Even if they'd brought Gabby in under the assumption that she was the aggressor, they could have saved her life.
@@CJMGalaxy can you imagine the way the feel now, though? Knowing if they had they would’ve saved her life? I wouldn’t want to live with that, even if I felt at the time like I was making the right choice.
@@VirginiaGeorge I hope they feel like shit, they should. I'm not going to blame them for her death, that's on Brian (probably, allegedly, etc), but they did fail her spectacularly. They need to see this as a failure and it needs to inform how they approach situations like this in the future.
Every time I rewatch the policeencounter, I see more signs. Gabby should still be alive right now. Just the way he was so worried about what Gabby was telling them.
It's always the people with the kindest, most empathic hearts that are taken advantage of by selfish, malignant and malicious individuals. And the worst is that they end up persuading their victims that they deserve every second of the abuse they're receiving.
He was an excellent manipulator and I definitely got a "it's just one of those emotional little girls" condescending attitude in the "interactions" with Gabby.
Yes. In general, he seems condescending attitude towards almost everyone, IMO. But, the amount of times he used the word "little" when speaking about the goals she was trying to accomplish, just boils my blood.
When he made that crazy remark it was clear he was doing that whole "females am I right??" thing that men do to make us women seem like we are unhinged dramatic things. I had no idea about any of the details so it's really interesting and heartbreaking to hear how this has all been unfolding.
@@gsd715 listen to the way he tells her to take a shower??? huh? golden flower golden shower. imo this creep cop raped gabby this same night while brian was at hotel, and lesbians came to help and were murdered
My ex husband was physically and mentally abusive to me and I can relate to how Gabby felt . I always felt like everyone was on his side and never listened to me and it was very upsetting and frustrating.
I know cops have a tough job, but these guys are a damned LESSON on what NOT to do... so much they missed, that poor girl. 😢 The 911 call was clear, he was hitting her. She was distressed, he was NOT.
What upsets me about this is that they even state law at them to say they need to make an arrest and don't. Then the cops continue to scold her and don't say anything to him. Ridiculous.
I'm just gonna say my ex husband would act just like Brian when the cops would come when he was hitting me. My husband was smooth. Finally after 28 police calls in 2 cities a cop caught my husband lying about the fingerprints on my neck. The cop proved the fingerprints were made by my husband and not mine and took pictures and took him to jail. I'm not surprised the cops in Utah making her 5he blame. I lived there after I divorced my husband and the cops just hate charging men for abuse there because they think women always claim abuse all the time. It's sad..
Whats really upsetting, is that there is available tech to be able to photograph a victims neck, to see the extent of the damage, and for comparisons for things like fingerprints, and hand size. Police don't have this equipment though. They do have tanks, slushie machines, and other worthless equipment. They could prioritize equipment to help with stopping and charging individuals for violent assaults. They choose not to.
Solitaire - Ex did the exact same thing!!! (Step daughter, then, in addition to) the ex - husband - at that time, took papers out of my purse. It was fairly late at night, and I had just finished documenting yet more harassment by them, which was what I had done during quite several months, and had begun to accumulate quite the stack of documentation. Husband woke up, just as I was finishing documenting more harassment, so I put it in my purse. He took it out of my purse and was walking around with the papers in his hand, but wasn't reading them. I finally said, "Go ahead and read them, there's nothing in the documentation that isn't true!" He made a gesture that he was going to hide the papers, so I demanded that he give them back - "You aren't even reading the papers." "Give them back, and stop harassing me, or I wi call the police!" ( I said that because he - and his daughter had deployed a smear campaign among other things, and were trying to get me in legal trouble based on lies.) So, husband himself - called the police (!) and said, as cool as a cucumber, " There's a domestic disturbance here..." as if he was filling out a Sudoku puzzle (!!!!!!!) The police officer came - but - not one - BUT 5 POLICE OFFICERS came into the house!!! THEY WERE THE ONES TO TELL ME to go to the hospital for drug and alchohol tests - which, of course were quite clear, since I do not even smoke pot or cigarettes!!!!!!!! So, I know, first hand - the stress, and harassment done by not only family members - but - at the hands of the police - "blame the victim".
I love how well you articulated this. So many signs were missed and we should never put responsibility on the victim to avoid abusive situations, we should put the responsibility on the abusers
It gives me the fucking chills that, as soon as the police man tells Brian that it seems like he's the victim of the aggression, Brian *laughs* about it and the police doesn't say anything. This doc is amazingly put - as your work usually is! - and it explains the case so well, but watching this in its entirety made my stomach sink and it's so disgusting to see the Laundrie family's actions as a whole... my heart goes to the Petito family and all of Gabby's friends.
@@EdgePatrol RIGHT? He knew damn well he wasn't a victim, said it point blank, but also made no attempt at rectifying that to the police because he knew he benefitted from that (both by having the police on his side + mantaining control over Gabby). it's baffling that the policemen overlooked this completely.
This case highlights to me how a victim of an abusive relationship is conditioned over time to not seek help and many people are saying why didnt she tell the cops etc etc. She has been conditioned to think she is at fault and that he is putting up with her and is trying to “help” her. Ive known many survivors of abuse that keep saying the same thing, an abusive partner is usually an expert manipulator and an abused person will believe they are the problem. So heartbroken for Gabby
i already know this will be done with so much compassion and respect for Gabby. ETA as i’m watching: the body cam footage of Gabby crying and finally venting about how he doesn’t believe in her dreams and shows how little Brian saw her. i wish she would have gotten out alive. i wish the people there that day would have been more aware of how Gabby was acting and listening to what she was saying. it’s insane to me that they saw Brian as the victim and Gabby as the aggressor.
Yall sure are rude. That's exactly why Included by last sentence. I was unaware of the new social media lingo. I stand corrected. No harm done. But your rudeness definitely is indicative of your character.
I'd been avoiding watching this video, just because the story is so heartbreaking, especially thinking about the 2nd nightmare that her family has had to endure AFTER losing Gabby. As usual, your coverage, commentary, and respect given to this story were A-1.
As a mental health professional who works as a crisis worker in an ER, those officers absolutely mishandled the situation to such a high degree like… the things they were saying were not only presumptuous and full of implicit bias, they were invalidating and frankly manipulative. AND did the OPPOSITE of making her feel safe and calm. The whole point of police response to a domestic situation is to de-escalate and ensure safety.
I agree, but I also agree with statements that they were trying not to back a couple up in the system for having a bad day. Perhaps that came from a place of ignorance. It’s really unfortunate.
@@VirginiaGeorge right but if they classified it as a “mental health crisis” they 100% should have had a mental health clinician do a full assessment in an ER or crisis center.
The biggest mistake from the get go before they ever even hit to the point of deciding anything is what they didn’t do and to me, was a total failure in every way imaginable. That is Police Academy 101. That was talking to the person who apparently felt it necessary to make a call into 911. It’s almost like that was null and void. I was so aggravated after watching the body cam when it was first released. Now I also was just like WTH are they doing . Just trying to figure out why they were talking about it at all except in the beginning. Well they released a 2nd body cam days later. I was even more infuriated. It should have sent sirens going off to the officer they show on the phone talking to the witness. I will get the link to see if you can pick up what I am talking about .
Hearing that she died by strangulation parallels with him showing his anger earlier on August 12th, when she says that he grabbed her face at 20:45. Her hand placement very much insinuates that it could’ve been a grab at her neck. It’s so eerie and so horrible. Obviously the officers could’ve never imagined this would happen- but for them to see how visibly uncomfortable and bothered she was compared to him, how could they even think she was the abuser in that situation? 😞
I want to say that if they had a police women this situation (assessment) and probably the life of Gaby could have been different outcome. I am very impressed with this great summary : very well done
I hope those cops never get a good night's sleep ever again. How do you interview a victim literal feet away from her abuser and expect her to be truthful?
As a victim of DV , and being in a similar situation, my boyfriend use to lock me out of vehicle in places I was unfamiliar with, with no money or cell phone and sometimes just a small bag of cloths or none at all , and my fight or flight would kick in and I have also done anything I need to get back into the vehicle , which was my home . It’s absolute panic and fear. Im glad my life story changed and I never looked back on that time but I feel the police missed the clear signs . I have done what Gabby did in front of cops so many times for my abuser . This is so heartbreaking .
Open and honestly told a judge that I slapped my ex on his chest because he was beating me all the time and the night before. He never admitted to it so judge saw me as the violent one. Please, if you are in this situation, get PROOF (safely) of what's happening to you and be careful what you admit to, because abusers will LIE LIE LIE
Condolences to the Petito family, what a tragic, horrible loss. Condolences to the families of indigenous women who went missing, I hope at least some of them will get home one day. Rest in peace those who won't. Rest in peace, Gabby.
A friend of mine, Cian ( pronounced Keane) McLaughlin went missing from Teton National Park on the 8th of June 2021. He is an Irish National who has been living stateside for a number of years. He was last seen in good spirits hiking in the park with little with him. He wasn’t reported missing until he didn’t show up for work. His car was found parked at grand Teton National Park. His friend saw him and another man had a conversation with him. Please cover the other people who went missing from grand Teton this summer. Cian’s family obviously live in Ireland and all of his friends. They weren’t immediately on site to push to find him and the media didn’t cover his disappearance nearly a fraction of the way Gabbys was. He is an amazing bright bubbly guy and such a loss to all not knowing his fate. Not trying to take away from the Gabby Petito case it’s horrific. It’s incredibly painful for his close friends and family knowing Cian went missing from the same area and still hasn’t been found months on. Hopefully if the spot light is put on his disappearance he can be found too
@@sylviasmother577 he’s from Dublin Ireland. It was covered very briefly by a few papers but not widely picked up by the media! I don’t understand why. If you look up grand Teton National park fb page they covered it extensively but their were no new leads so the search has gone dead 😔
@@TheMadamDragon the missing report on him is buried deep on the Grand Tetons FB page. I had to dig. Be good if they had a Missing Alert Pop Up on every view, if possible? Do many people go missing in this area? I know there was a Felon on the run in the area,June to September 30 (John Freeman Colt?) Ex pat RUclipsrs may help to generate interest for search & recovery. Was He part of Irish ex pat community in US?
I really hate how the cops were telling Brian the witnesses all said he didn't hit her. The 911 call CLEARLY stated he was hitting and chased her. So fucking angry.
I am glad you brought up the fact....IT'S HER VAN!!! In all the videos I've seen about this....you're the only one to bring it up. I've literally YELLED while watching various videos- ITS HER VAN! Who the F#&K is he to lock her out?? Thank you Capt. Obvious!
Watching that police officer tell her she was the primary aggressor knowing what we know now and then watching how she reacted to being told that you can see just see her wilt and it’s so heartbreaking.
Yes 💔 that moment stuck out for me. She was so honest and at the crucial point she needed someone to hear her, she got deemed a hysterical women with a violent streak. Makes me so angry.
As a survivor of an abusive relationship, I've cried multiple times throughout this video. My deepest condolences to her family and those around her. If I didn't leave my relationship, I feared I could've been another one on the news, missing. I just can't imagine the pain her family and friends are going through
Honestly, yes I do think Brian’s parents have A LOT to do with this either hiding him or helping him escape. Also I do think that he might be hiding somewhere in the United States but as Swoop said, the weather is about to change so unless he is in a place with “no winter” he has to be crossing the boarder or hidden in a low key residence somewhere. I do think he will someday be caught, hopefully soon because the Petito family deserves justice and some type of closure. My condolences to them.
I cant believe how they address her as the main aggressor. SHE IS CRYING THE WHOLE TIME. brian is like "yeah i guess we argued didnt notice that ✌🏻" i cant believe this sh.t
"Funny" part is that all the male "body language" experts (even those working for the government) who reacted to the footage before her body was found "read" the situation the same way. They all sided with Brian and deemed Gabby a bit unstable. It's scary how (especially) male police officers who are supposed to protect can be so "blind". I am no body expert but when I watched the video, Brian gave me creeps and I fell physically sick seeing Gabby in such a distress.
@@justwannafreefx9419 I didn't see Logan's first video but judging from the fact that later he privated/deleted the video and posted an "apology" letter stating that he will educate himself on the issues/signs of DV, I think unfortunately he also read it that way. And I really do like him so .. yeah....
@@Ruby-xk8kn Yeah, I meant mainly them but they weren't the only. However, the other have the decency to acknowledge when they were wrong whereas to four didn't. Also I lost all "respect" to them.
@@lenusniq_9746 if I recall correctly I think he said something about her possibly having a breakdown, Brian possibly hiding something and that he didn't think Brian *hurt* her but that he may have left her behind or something. Ofc I could be remembering wrong. Either way I suppose it's best to not make these types of videos while a case is going on, before having any real facts 😅
Law enforcement needs to be ACTUALLY trained to recognize tell tail signs of abusive/dangerously toxic relationships with people they encounter expecially when they’re called to the scene for something or pullin someone over specially
I somewhat disagree. I think LEOs need to be trained to identify potential situations and then have experts who can come in and evaluate. I don't think it's reasonable to ask every officer to be pros in dealing with DV. But it should be the same as bringing in an interpreter - here is a situation, we need experts.
The problem with that is so many police are abusers themselves. Their own egos get in their way when it comes to DV. That training would never be effective because the police themselves need therapy that they wouldn't even take seriously first.
The problem with that is, that not every situation is what it seems and not everyone is who they seem to be. No matter how trained you are you can make a mistake.
I hear in Gabby's voice the desperate heart break of someone who didn't do anything malicious but is being verbally berated as if they're a criminal by the person they love and put so much daily energy into pacifying and catering to. The way she's still caring when she says to make sure he brings his charger. Rest in peace Gabby
We know Brian's parents aided and abeted Brian after the fact and they have to know where he is or at least have an idea. I just hope they come clean and if they don't I sincerely hope they are charged for their crime of helping him cover his tracks. I can't imagine being a mother and knowing my son killed his fiance and hiding him from the police and FBI. It's simply disgusting. Thank you for putting this together and skipping over the misinformation that has been out there. I am hoping that now more attention has been brought to the inequality in terms of attention and man power used investigate the disappearances of marginalized groups a change can start to happen. I'm doubtful but still hopeful. I live in Canada and the number of indigenous women and girls as well as men who go missing is staggering. Hopefully Gabby's death shining a light on this issue can create an actual change in how things are done. The wolrd looked for Gabby but nobody lifts a finger for indigenous women and girls who go missing every day.
Every news outlet referred to Gabby as "this young girl". Ugh! Would they refer to Brian as "this young boy"? He'll no! Prejudice against women persists.
“I know it’s “innocent until proven guilty”…. Yeah, but we ain’t lawyers, we ain’t a court, we ain’t a judge. We’re a population of feeling humans who see something sus as hell and can point it out. He’s guilty IMO, and I think to much of the world…
I completely agree, you'd fight to find out what's happened to the person you love, not run away & especially not showing up for her funeral. It speaks volumes, even if he refuse to.
I’ve probably watched over 100 videos on this case by now… only you & one other creator passionately drew attention to the HUGE red flags of DV in this relationship (& red flags from narcs/abusers in general). Idk if you’ll see this, but I thank you from the bottom of my heart for shedding light & bringing awareness. When I read the comments on the body cam footage from men & women saying things like “he wouldn’t hurt a fly” when it was first released, I was nauseous. It is scary how many people don’t recognize the signs & that is why there is such a stigma around SA & DV. Having gone through a horrible DV situation when I was younger & having people blame ME or not believe me was almost emotionally harder than enduring the abuse. I cried when you spoke about it because it tapped into some long buried trauma. I’m so grateful to have gotten out & to be alive. I only wish Gabby had the same opportunity. I also hope that anyone reading this takes your advice & speaks to someone they trust. To anyone reading this who may be going through this or may not be sure if you’re in an abusive relationship- I BEG you not to ignore or justify the red flags/signs. You are NOT crazy. Do not ignore your intuition. I did all of those things & almost didn’t make it. So if nobody has told you - YOU are worth it & your soulmate will NOT abuse you!! Mentally, emotionally or physically. The person you are meant to be with will not make you question your sanity nor your self worth ❤️ Stay safe out there ❤️
The police labels Gabby with his ex wifes behavier, based on his experience with that in my opinion. Maybe this situation with Gabby triggers something in him. Better education in DV for the police is necessary. Brian get more fuel that his behavier is okay , in my opinion. Oh , I can't see both sides here 😅. The police messed up in my opinion.
They did mess up! The Utah laws also seem v sketchy. They have to define 1 person as the physical aggressor? They had eye witness accounts of Brian’s physical assault, yet SHE was the aggressor? It was really hard to watch Gabby being systematically undermined, by every other person there. I sincerely hope they find this POS & Gabby & her family see some justice done. Sadly, nothing can bring her back. Just heartbreaking.
Excellent!! The cop-stop in Moab is so upsetting - blaming her, fist-bumping with brian, calling her crazy - omg. You explained it very well - thank you
Gabby is taking the blame and being so apologetic it is heartbreaking - that is the sign of a person who is the victim of a bully. I cannot understand why the police did not actually recognise they needed to intervene and HELP! Not just for the night before allowing the abuser to reunite with the victim when obviously he would be more angry. I understand this as I also have experienced things and I have never had any emotional support. So it is just all locked up. I am so sorry for Gabby.
i never understood how some people were trying to defend brian locking gabbie out because she needed to be calm… like wtf would you lock your spouse outside of your apartment or hotel because they “needed to calm down?” clear manipulation and cruelty especially considering they were in the middle of nowhere and he was threatening to leave her with all of her stuff. i think he tried to take her phone and she was trying to get it back from him hence when he was asked about the scratches he kept saying “her phone was in her hand”
Agreed. People forget that if they really needed a breather, that Brian could've taken it and walk away for a bit. Not force Gabby to by LOCKING HER OUT OF HER HOME. People need to stop defending him.
Yeah, no. The correct thing would be to remove YOURSELF from the situation, not lock your SO out of their car/home. If Brian actually cared about deescalating the conflict, he should’ve gotten himself out and walked to a safe place to give Gabby the space she needed. It was never about giving her space to cool off, it was about control.
Abusers will insist on acting normal so as to throw people off. But they hold your hand or shoulder to subtly establish a physical warning only you are aware of even in front of others. A sharp grasp or tense grip goes unnoticed by others but not you. Abusers drive you to an emotional breakdown and then act calm in front of others to further alienate you, or insist on being the picture of loving and you want so badly to think this is some kind of reconciliation. Maybe things will change. But it’s never going to.
I get the sense that Brian's posts were actually digs and devaluing of Gabby. I think there is a photo of Gabby wearing an apple watch for example and he speaks ill of this ...🤷
UPDATE: Gabby Petito’s death was just officially ruled homicide by strangulation. I am absolutely heartbroken to think that sweet Gabby was taken from this world by the actual hands of the one who promised to love and cherish her the most. I pray for her family and for all abuse victims. I hope Gabby's memory will be a blessing to us all in time.
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Do you have a code? The link isn’t working for me.
☹️❤️
@@anniecamacho6993 The link should work on iphone, Android, desktop and tablet! Maybe try again or refresh? I think on Android it first asks you to confirm leaving YT. Hope that helps!
Your point at around 33:00 minutes about taking the blame away from abusers and placing it on the victim is something that society still does and it's so frustrating. I'm in the UK and there's been a recent unfortunate case of a woman called Sarah Everard who was murdered by a serving police officer as she walked back home. He arrested her under false pretences in order to abduct her. And yet someone (I think a councillor or commissioner) commented that she shouldn't have allowed herself to be arrested and she should've been more streetwise. Like...wtf? Why do we blame victims for being victims? Unbelievably short-sighted.
Her memory should be respected. Did you get confirmation from the family to do this? it’s indigenous peoples day how come no MMIW2 doc? Another person givin this story MORE circulation when the media has been doin its well job of just that. Why not add to the conversation and open up MORE ideas. Sad to see spanky
Knowing how much his parents were willing to cover up, you can't help but wonder how much abuse they witnessed and enabled him to put her through while she was living at their house.
also, people who grow up in non-abusive households typically don't perpetuate abuse. its likely that this is a family pattern of behavior.
He reminds me so much in his behavior, in this conversation with the police, of Chris Watts and I think he could be like an angel in his parents eyes and not showing his "true colors" at all in front of them.. But anyway - the parents reaction with not calling Gabbys parents right away when he came back without her - and even not responding when Gabbys parents tried to call and text them asking for her! Thats crazy and no matter how he explained her absence to them - it says a lot about them and how they were enabeling him.. Wonder what they will be willing to tell - if anything - now when he's found dead.. If he hasn't left any written truthfully answers to her family of what happend he is even more of a coward.. Guess he maybe told his parents the truth about her beeing dead but blamed it on an accident and manipuleted them to help him to run away ore else he would go to jail.. I cant think of anything else that would have made them completly silent - not willing to talk to Gabbys parents.. If he had told them he "just" left her it wouldn't be a reason for them to go silent-not responding from day 1 and then lawyer up.. I feel so much for Gabbys family - His family though seems like horrible people - that she lived with and should have been able to trust - and then none of them cared..
That's why he thought it was ok to take her out
They said she was dirty and smoked pot..
After her body was found
We know this is a lie
just like their son jealous snitch scumbags
@@annychest718 And what that "friend" of Brian's mom that said she was bad with money, yet Gabby bought that van and paid for all the renovations for it. My fiance's family would never talk about me that way. They just showed the public how abusive and toxic they truly were.
“The law in Utah doesn’t allow Police to make decisions in these kind of cases.”
Geez, I wonder why.
But they did decide to go around the law.
But they DID make a decision. They told her they were doing her a favor, put him up for the night & sent her off all by herself.
😂 i know right. And the cop went on to demonstrate why that law exists. Far out.
as soon as gabby mentioned OCD these officers labeled the poor soul as 'crazy and unreliable' in their heads. ill bet you anything on that. never, EVER mention any kind of mental illness or anxiety to cops if you want to be taken seriously. the stigma is far too real. there needs to be FAR more social and mental health assessment training in police if we dont abolish this broken system altogether.
Exactly they even will use a recent loss against you... Unfortunately speaking from experience
Oh yeah, abolish the police will have no bad repercussions whatsoever 🙄🤦
I have a friend in the police force & they have & do started teaching about noticing the mental illness signs in people & how to properly handle it without how these guys treated Gabby. No need for abolishment 🤦♀️
AGREED. I was once accused by a cop of being high, so I showed my script to prove I was on medication and that made it worse. I literally saw an eye roll. I was SO dismissed it took several more days to sort out the mess I hadn't even caused, just blamed cos first I was "high" and next I was "unstable". Luckily in my case, I'm Australian and it's not *quite* as dangerous as US cops, but still a scary eye opener.
@@cady__ my ex stole my child by pretending to take him on a weekend and just ... never brought him home, wouldn't answer the phone .. and he was 4 and completely non-verbal 😖😖 he filed court documents that were full of lies and then when I just went to pick him up .. they called the cops and accused me of being on drugs. I left willingly and my exes dad brought my kid home like 4 days later cos he read the court documents and knew his son had lied. Obvious lies like "mother doesn't pay child support" when he'd had him for less than 24 hours 🤦 he was gonna get in a buttload of trouble if I'd filed my response - cos I'm not dumb and had evidence of everything - so his dad was like "ooop, I'm out". While with the cops of COURSE I was hysterical and they "assumed" it was the drugs they'd been told about - I had my prescription on me cos once again, I'm not dumb when it comes to this man ... The cops didn't sort anything out at all, my exes dad did. Top grandpa right there, love him to bits ❤️❤️❤️
Did you notice Gabby look over the officer when he told her to be honest, Gabby lowered her voice and explained how he grabbed her face. I'm so heartbroken. Why do you have to be a literal victim to know the signs of DV?!😭This poor girl was apologizing, crying and taking sole blame for everything.
Yep, I have been there too. So glad I am survivor. I hope this is behind you as well.
Because, lots of ignorant men/dude bros, still see women as irrational, hysterical, crazy, "uncontrollable" messes. You saw the one officer giving Brian a fist bump? Disgusting.
@@effy_kujo exactly. I'll never forget when I had a full breakdown for about a year in highschool and was called mopey and bitchy while I had panic attacks, hallucinations and blackouts...
"Why do you have to be a literal victim to know the signs of DV?!😭" - Yes, and so many of us who understand that dynamic and the body language , perhaps only through this find out this IS ALREADY domestic violence. Your statement is so well put.
It makes it worse that she couldn't even feel comfortable telling the cops as they all do the crap of how she's just "emotional " instead of like what's going on to really make her feel that way. I mean Being cops and dealing with DV calls before they should have known the signs of things and just chose to ignore it and the cop compare her to his "emotional ex wife", maybe that was a sign itself hmm.
The more I see this video the harder it is to watch because every time I watch I see such a sad broke down girl who looked like she was crying for help and got hushed up. 😔
The bias against women when they’re “emotional” is evident by the officer’s questions.
So true. They often write us off as high strung or crazy simply for expressing our emotions.
Utah has a huge Mormon population it makes sense that they would feel that way about women ....sadly.
Yes, she's spoken to as though she's simple-minded, and the questioning is quite brusque in tone - not what I'd use if I thought I was talking to a potential dv victim... In fact, I think by the time they started to question her, they'd probably already made their minds up.
I still don't get how they managed to identify the incident as dv, and then treat it as an isolated case of common assault, settle on Gabby as the aggressor, and then make out they were doing her a favour by not arresting her. They obviously had no understanding of what dv is, or they would have sought to understand the prior history, and they would have seen Gabby's action for what it was: reactive violence.
They seemed to believe everything Brian says even after they were told someone that called said he was hitting her. So sad 😞
Absolutely! And I've experienced this first hand too. 😤 Hell, even when I've NOT been "emotional" PD's have been condescending and act like you are bothering them. And I'm not someone who calls at the drop of a hat. I've called because the neughbor threatened me and threatened to murder my neighbors cat for it being on his property, but until my neighbor the man called, did they take it serious. I've called because after same neighbor's dog attacked mine causing $hundreds in vet bills, he was yelling at me aggressively while swinging a hammer around as I tried to collect the payment from him-they refused to assist me, even just animal control officer to stand on the sidewalk so I could more safely collect the payment. They were dismissive when I called to report a guy in black hoodie wearing black gloves smack up against my window peering in at 3AM - but I guess they thought it serious when the next moring the man yes MAN across the street had them there for his truck window smashed and items stolen. I know it's not ALL police departments or ALL officers but it's pretty damn annoying.
What hurts me so bad is that no one offered to connect her to either her mother or father, even after he said he was thinking of his daughter, that Gabby was young, lacking life experience, and lacked coping skills. Those police officers abandoned her and did not connect her with any support system. They failed her.
THIS!! 👏
Absolutely. A Young Girl in trouble : Ask her about her SUPPORT SYSTEM : IS THERE A FAMILY MEMBER ( Calling “parents” would reinforce deeper her victim shame of “not being able to cope” and like being a child in trouble at school ) OR A FRIEND that could STAY WITH HER they could call for her ? Which would have encouraged HER TO OPEN UP and she would have either told them CALL HER PARENTS OR she had siblings who would have alerted the parent TO HELP IMMEDIATELY !
There where so many failures along the way BUT why the body cam footage HAUNTS ME to his day : This was the moment, THE FORK in the PATH where the actions of these police officers could have gotten Gabby o the safety of he family. They failed her.
They failed to SEE, as men, even a Father of a daughter could not see what we as women could SEE SO OBVIOUSLY : as Woman, on a fundamental level we live in a world knowing that men are a potential and REAL physical danger . The potential threat turns to REAL FEAR and most all women have witnessed or survived any form of Physical A* or an SA at the hands of a man know that is a painful RE-shaping of a girl’s naive innocent world view into the harsh reality of that makes a woman’s INTUITION …
Men just don’t know what it is, to be a victim in this way. They don’t have the same intuition. However, they are societally conditioned to be wary of the “ hysterically emotional women” that use exaggerated crying as a way to exert power over rational conflict resolution and emotionally manipulate …
The Police Officers where not even inadequate when it came to the BASICS of what the OFFENDER’S CHARGE WAS or WHO THE LAWS PROTECTS …
Like I said, it wasn’t just one but so many failures on the part of all these men, male brain group think … ? The cops too fell victim to a form of cohesion by a well versed manipulative predatory ego that knew how and what to say to lie and gaslight his way out of a tricky situation and like a fucking magician performing a trick pulled HIS CELLPHONE OUT that no one saw or realised needed it’s own charger ….
It Fucking hurt me so much to watch these men “handle” I don’t want to be overtly critical of these police officers - there are some many cultural complexities tolayers asby but the body cam footage has ALWAYS HAUNTED ME. the officers The way these officers handled Gabby
It is so telling how, despite coming from a ‘broken’ home : That where no less Good Parents and where never divided when it came down to it : Gabby’s ENTIRE Immediate AND EXTENDED Family , ALL her Parents: Mother, FATHER AND STEP FATHER MOBILISED IMMEDIATE ACTIVELY SEARCHES to FIND her …
Even Brian’s sister was compelled to do the RIGHT THING and give information to HELP find Gabby, as a Mother herself and someone who loved Gabby … That is an extremely difficult stance to take. To go against family even when it is the right thing to do. The sister is harshly criticised but she did redeem herself somewhat and I can completely relate with a very, similar situation - advocating that my nephew be granted Legal custody to his Father, who he already was living with to protect him from my sister, who I knew was an narcotic abusive unfit mother … Despite knowing WITHOUT a DOUBT that this was the in absolutely BEST interest of a minor child : my Mom had passed in 2015 (who basically raised this child 1-5years) so there was no other next of kin : I didn’t hesitate - The Right thing is often the hardest, most painful thing despite MY strong moral convictions that what I was doing was RIGHT and as an ACT OF LOVE to ADVOCATE for my Nephew … To go AGAINST my sister, as her Father, he couldn’t go against his daughters even despite knowing the FACTS and that there was a threat that she would effectively “kidnap” him to extort the monthly child support money …
Family’s dynamics are each extremely complicated.
Brian’s parent’s LIED to the federal government, where an accessory to HIS CRIME and with THEIR HELP was able to get a head start in getting away …. Makes me Question which version of the story he lied to get that right …
I actually live in Utah, and honestly it doesn’t surprise me one bit that the officers mishandled this situation.
Cops in Utah are far more likely to take a mans testimony as truth, long before believing women from my experience.
I come from Austria and in a DV situation with my abuser ex this exact same thing happened to me too. I think it is a problem around the world. Many women here have been killed by their abusive partners already because police didn't take them seriously. It's infuriating
i live on long island. girls here from all ages are always with the wrong guys for whatever reason. my boyfriend and my sisters boyfriends are good guys. that guy did come from florida though. florida people are craaazyyy
We lived in S.L.C. and Magna for 20 years and have seen this same behavior many times and not just cops. Women are held to church and ego's on men. Peace and blessings.
It’s like that everywhere…
@@dekuscrub9739 Hey!!!! Not all people in FL are craazzzy! A lot of us are from somewhere else. I think Brian is a product of enablers in his parents!
This whole situation once again highlights how ill-equipped police officers are at assessing DV cases. It was so frustrating to witness how quickly they sided with Brian and completely lost sight of the precipitating phone call from the witnesses. Not only do they need more training, but they truly need mental health professionals to provide dual-response in these situations. Officers are not social workers, nor should the be expected to fulfill the duties of that role when responding to these calls
Absolutely
Did you watch both body cam videos? It was the dispatcher who failed to convey that the caller said he hit her. Then the second officer was not given that callers info & the other witness he called said she hit him. Those officers did nothing wrong. They spent an hour with them trying to assess the situation etc. Yes Brian killed her but we don’t know that he was abusive towards her. What if what she said were true? That because of her ocd & anxiety she got upset easily, expressed anger, whatever. Maybe she was the volatile one? Despite that he should never have lost control the way he did. This whole thing is such a tragedy.
@@HandbagDiva She didn't have diagnosed OCD. She had the same "OCD" as everyone that a neat freak has. It's not *actual* OCD. *Real* OCD is having to do repetitive actions a certain number of times before moving on to something else, it's having to do certain tasks in a meticulous manner that you find acceptable. Being overly cleanly and not liking messiness is not the only aspect to being OCD.
No, *you* a person who has never been the victim of DV could not tell that Gabby was being abused, but those of us who have could easily see it. Hell, you'd have to be really fucking dense to not pick up on all the signs that Brian was abusing her! Victims will profusely apologize, overcorrect, and blame themselves for their abuser's behavior because that's what abusers train us to do. They break us down through isolation, gaslighting and emotional manipulation, negging, and threats to ourselves and our loved ones, then reconstruct us to be silent, docile, and submissive servants, shields, and whatever they need us to be to feel good about themselves.
It was not the dispatcher's fault. I saw "both body cams" and I can say with 100% certainty that the police officers fucked up and it was absolutely their fault for siding with Brian and protecting him. But of course they would do that when 40% of police officers are perpetrators of DV themselves. Male police officers are just as abusive of their spouses as NFL players are to theirs, and nobody is outraged or gives a fuck because they've been raised on the pervasive copaganda that has painted cops as an unalloyed good throughout history, as if the profession wasn't founded specifically to track and capture escaped black slaves to bring back to their abusive owners, and because r*pe culture and violence against women has been so normalized in our society for longer than the police force has been around, and people automatically believe that women who are the victims of r*pe and DV are lying and "making it up to take down good men", that idiots like you will twist yourselves into pretzels in order to absolve abusers and police officers of their behaviour. All cops are bastards, period.
Yeah, police officers aren't trained to pick up on nuances of behaviour.
In their eyes, he was friendly and pleasant. She had no reason to be scared- What they didn't realise, is that abusive people are like that. To understand DV cases, you have to use reverse psychology.
A relationship is an emotionally close relationship. It's the closest form of relationship there is, so when someone is falsely accused of DV, they're more likely to lash out in the moment because the person they're closest to is betraying them. An abusive person on the other hand is going to be a lot kinder when they're being accused, Because one. They've had to get themselves out of the situation before. and Two. They view their spouse as an emotional outlet- They don't care about the person they're with, they just care about what they can do to that person to deal with their own impulses.
@@HandbagDiva What you said there is true, yes. However, There's clearly something wrong going on in the relationship.
She looks terrified of her partner, and he's all sunflowers and sunshine as if his girlfriend didn't just accuse him of domestic violence. No person is going to be terrified of someone for no reason, and a normal partner isn't going to be all bubbles and iced latte's when there partner is accusing them of DV.
The police can't legally do anything, no. But you don't have to arrest either of them to get either of them out of the situation- You just have to get them away from eachother. As she's the accuser, you could offer to drive her to her home, to a hotel, or at least to the nearest bus stop.
It's still a part of a police officers job to de-escalate situations and make sure that both sides are okay- The police officers just failed to do that.
All your comments about how Brian is calm and almost charming while Gabby is crying are spot on! It is how both my abusive parents would behave. We get into an argument and the moment a bystander came by and witnessed it, they'd turn on the charm and play up that I'm just mentally ill. It was horrible and terrifying because suddenly everyone is automatically against you. And even worse, I personally feel like abusive parents get even more of a pass than abusive partners. Like we as a culture are still tackling abusive partners and just beginning to learn to get it right, but when it comes to abusive parents, too many people want to find every way they can to justify it.
My mum abused me as a kid and was like this. She was so charming and people still think she’s lovely there’s no doubt in my mind that abusive parents are just given a pass. I have no clue why but there’s just no consequences when it comes to parents abusing children
Cop said he has a daughter about Gabby's age. Wonder what he would have done if it was his daughter?
If it was the cops daughter he would have hauled Brian's punk a--- in so fast it would have made his head spin. They got the call prior to the stop he is the freaking aggressor stupid.
YASS!!! Love this comment. She'd still be alive most likely. So tragic. I wonder how that cop who wanted to be so cool around him is feeling right now.
Oh, he has trained that daughter up from infancy to be his scapegoat. Everything he does is her fault, and everything anybody else does to her is an insult to him, unless she can somehow be blamed (or both, most likely). Beardy Cop Eric Pratt (former mormon) divorced the "anxious" wife who "set off his anxiety", and I bet she comes across much the same way that Gabby did. She might have a story to tell, and I sure hope she has managed to protect that daughter to some extent, so she does not go for a pure daddy copy which will lead her into narc relationships!
Seems like the type of parent to be oblivious to their kids issues until it’s too late 🤷🏾
@@eirintowne His fellow officer was Roberts/Robbins? & the one to seal Gabby's fate. Also dictated to his wife! Listen to his confab while driving BL to his comfy digs for the night compliments of Moab Police Dept.
The way Brian acts with the cops is the way my ex husband acted the night he shot at me, pistol whipped and tazed me. The cops acted like I was making it up cuz I was shaking and terrified and he was acting friendly and calm like they were all buddies. Gabby didn't deserve this. I will tell anyone, if your partner hurts you, run. They will do it again. Don't wait for cops, don't wait for a restraining order, just run far and run fast please.
If they do it once they will do it again!! I gave my ex a second chance and almost lost my life.
@@fernandagarcia877 I'm so glad you got out! I hope you never have to experience anything like that again 💝
@@agrsvbutterfly I tried to "just leave" like everyone always recommends but no one ever explained how dangerous it is to just leave. I had no plan. I feel like they should have a social worker or anyone who has professional experience with DV because cops don't know enough the only reason my ex went to jail was because I had a witness who saw everything if it wasn't for him hands down I'd be dead because It would of been a he said she said case.
@@fernandagarcia877
Much love sent to you. I'm glad you lived through this.
Are you doing better now? Terrible I'm so sorry you went through that, seriously no words!!
"Cops tend to get it wrong"
Ya buddy you defs got it wrong here...
Im in social work and the first red flag would be how distraught she is. If there was a phonecall placed of a domestic violence complaint, take them in, get a social worker/counsellor involved, do some separate interviewing and investigation
Yup. I saw the gaslighting with her taking all the blame and him trying to place the blame immediately.
The fact that the police tell HER "we don't want to get YOU into trouble..." the level of manipulation to make the victim scared to even talk about what happened.
That's what there trained to do. They lie to manipulate you into incriminating yourself.
Yeap
Felicigra: Otherwise known as gaslighting.
For real though, remember the police were originally called because Brian was seen hitting Gabby
It is a manipulation so They can get the truth about what happened Which is they job they’re not psychologists they are literally people who enforce the law and They need to know who the instigator of the physically altercation is so they can do their job as they stated they’re have to by law press charges because this is an assumption I’m making in the past man have stopped cops from prosecuting women who abuse them because it’s seen as a weaknesses if they do 😅 Not saying that Gabby is to blame just that the cops aren’t either you can’t do your job when people don’t tell you the truth even if there was one witness that said The woman was slapped …. the other one said only he pushed her And they asked him on the body cam footage And he admitted to pushing her but both of them said that she hit him first🤷♀️
How is he standing joking, and fist bumping the cops while she's in the back on the police SUV completely breaking down crying her eyes out. What a piece of work. THAT RIGHT THERE, shows you what kind of person he really is. You know they were still fighting while driving being that it was so erratic. I wonder if he noticed the cops behind him.
Those pigs fist bumped and joked with a dude that they just got a call saying he was hitting her...absolutely disgusting they all need to be looked into.
This video hits so many issues that I have went through in my past 12 year physical, emotional and mental abusive I went through with my ex. I personally experienced similar situations with police where I used to live. The officers always sided with my ex. Thankfully, I was able to get away from him with my children several years ago, safely, after I finally got someone to see the true situation, and help us.
I think Laundrie got surprised that the cops were right behind him. I wonder what him and Gabby were fighting about on Aug 12th? That fight started when they had just come out of that food store those two murdered women owned in Moab. Strange! Was Laundrie telling Gabby to help him shoplift in that store or do something she wasn't willing to do? That slapping fight seemed like something more than an ordinary lovers spat! And even when they drove away it continued. Until they were stopped by those cops. Maybe that's why Gabby couldn't tell the cops what was the problem. She knew Laundrie was telling her to commit a crime. They'd both get arrested at that point if she said that. An interesting twist.
The simple fact that the Utah State Police didn't run the tag # on the van to find out who's van it was, which was Gabby's they should have held then both separately and let Gabby since she was the female drive herself home?! Also adults or not the Police should have contacted Gabby's Parents especially when she indicated the she had OCD + anxiety issues! The lead officer should be fired because their piss poor Police work more less caused Gabby to be strangled to death! Sad story could I have 10 minutes with the killer?
@@heatherrniicole1552 Or fired imo. That was really piss poor police work! Nothing against LEO but those guys were pretty worthless.
My mom was a 911 disbatcher and she told me that when they get a call from someone completely calm hearing the the partner screaming or being hysterical in the background, they know the abuser is probably the one who called. Why tf don't cops know?
like...why are they getting all this money if they keep being fvkcing idiots about this...
Dokladnie. Dziwne że ktoś kto jest np atakowany bądź jest świadkiem czyjejś histerii jest całkowicie opanowany? Oni doskonale wiedzą że takie zachowanie osoby dzwoniącej nie jest naturalne. Sprawcy często udają spokój aby nie wzbudzać podejrzeń tyle że to już jest doskonale znane dyspozytorom numerów alarmowych i policji. Przynajmniej w Polsce. Dziwne że ci policjanci zbagatelizowali to nienaturalne zachowanie tego chłopaka.
I mean in some states you need like 12 weeks of training to start "serving"... So I guess that how..
bc it’s an assumption. I’ve witnessed abusers cry and play the victim once a 3rd party comes around. People are quick to side with the person wit tears
@@keno5456 It's not an assumption it's psychology.
As a DV survivor his vehement hatred of social media hit a nerve. Abusers want you isolated and vulnerable so they keep you away from friends, family, loved ones, basically anywhere you can get the strength and support to leave them. He had her isolated through van life, but social media was a life line to her. She could gain positive feedback, support, attention etc all the things he hates. Plus anything that takes a victims time and attention away from the abuser (job, pet, child, friend, hobby) becomes a problem. RIP
100% I agree with you.
Absolutely 100% agree. Excuse my personal story if you’re not interested. Both of my emotionally and mentally abusive boyfriends HATED social media and got extremely mad when I was on it, even though it was a source of relaxation and community for me. I didn’t realize that what they were trying to do was isolate me. All it looked like was they were strong in their convictions about hating social media and finding the use of it problematic. Almost like they wanted to help me. But of course, they didn’t. I read that kind of behavior as a red flag now.
Absolutely!!! I thought the exact same.
The fact that the 911 call said HE HIT HER and the cops immediately made it out to be her fault really pissed me off. Of course she blamed herself that's what victims do. They failed her, I really hope that station is looked into to.
Wow, after everything I’ve learned about Narc behavior.. I never realized THIS is why he doesn’t want me on social media..
He distanced all my family, friends and even made me not care for my pets!!! When I learned what was going on.. I started to build back my relationships and take my pets out with me again. He still wanted to stop me using social media (Facebook was the only account I had at that point)- even though I had made a group he wanted to do !! If I went on and checked on friends he would walk away, throw a tantrum. His excuse was You SHOULD BE DOING THE GROUP AND STOP BEING DISTRACTED. This was the only way to connect with friends UGH. Every day I learn something new.
This guys behavior seems so similar, get the other person to start something they actual love and are happy doing - THEN DESTROY it🥺😣. I am so sad for her family.
I love that even through everything her parents are going through her dad still wanted to make it a point to let it be known that every missing person deserves the coverage Gabby got! He said he is so grateful for media and social media for helping bring Gabby home and he wants to see media and social media doing the same for all missing people! Gabby has such a beautiful soul and I can see why...her family is incredible! Also, thank you for speaking up for so many people who either cant or are too afraid!
Well, there's about 60,000 that go missing every year so.......
Thank you 710 ppl in the area that year.
Yes truly amazing and humble people:( just goes to show the integrity of theirs and definitely gabbys character. Rest In Peace Gabby, and to all of of the people who NEVER deserved to be a missing person poster.
@SWOOP As a mental health professional, if the disturbance is an ongoing current event caused by an abuser, then it would be unethical to determine the victim as having a mental health crisis. (Key in the sentence: Disturbance not caused by Victim's mental health issue).
Also, interviewing the victim (self-diagnosed or not) in proximity to the abuser, both sides of the story cannot be taken as accurate here. Victims, especially ones labeled with mental health issues, are used to receiving the short end in these situations and so, naturally, will be anxious (It's only human nature, not a mental health thing). Whereas the abuser is close enough (both hearing distance & interpersonal relationship-wise) to gaslight the victim or use their diagnosis against them in reporting. It is best to take both (Brian & Gabby for example) in for questioning, into separate rooms, instead. And if there is a way to ensure further separation (set up Gabby to go straight back to her parent's place in this DV case) to ensure physical safety and therefore emotional relief, only after some time when body chemicals have self-regulated, determine Gabby's mental state.
There have been others in Gabby's situation where the victim will be charged, taken in, or left with the abuser. Unfortunately, my industry is F****d up, so scapegoating or institutionalizing a victim too quick, is standard. And patients must be diagnosed for billing purposes and to release from the hospital, even if they don't actually have anything. Which is unethical billing practices, the APA feels no need to challenge insurance companies on. But this does affect your social security record, which can affect your rights, but is left out of the initial disclosures of entering therapy. So if someone just needs to talk, think twice before going the therapist route.
Self-diagnosers are not fully aware of what being really labeled entails until it is too late where they either find themselves in Brittney's situation unjustly or trying to escape their wrecked identity altogether, and not being taken seriously by doctors for even non-mental related visits. Someone who is aware avoids mainstream therapy altogether.
An ethical person or system would not determine this dispute to be caused by a mental health crisis, because of the way the police handled it, and there is no way of being sure of that. We shouldn't take Gabby's word here, even if not self-diagnosed, she could've been focused on her own attempt of de-escalating the situation as victims do often. And even with a legit diagnosis, ethical practice is to still do a separate evaluation in an instance like this; not knowing the ethics of the original professional of the diagnosis & not having witnessed the start of the DV situation. We shouldn't take an abuser's word AT ALL but do a proper investigation.
Especially when in the police cam footage, Brian's cuts on his head disappear and re-appear.
And later his dad is scenes laughing it up with authorities.
Thank you for sharing all this additional insight! It’s so important!
Yes they should have flown one back home and one drive home. If they lived in their car not near anyone they know gabble would not have any other thought but to keep going. If when they split for a day in hotels. She would know he needs his stuff and a ride home.
Thanks for your kind words for survivors
Your words enabled me to cry about my own situation for the first time in almost four years
I kicked out my ex after 36 yrs of marriage-I survived!
Bless your heart. Wishing you well on your healing journey. 💙
Police: “THEY DONT TRUST US TO MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION”
Police: calls the victim the abuser
Acab
The police did everything wrong in this case. Acab
It's so frustrating, and I know most cops try to do their best but
sheesh, this was so hard to watch how that stop was handled..
@Al I disagree...they are just stupid but they was trying to help
@Rotem mati
You can 'disagree' all you like but evidence shows otherwise. Many join the police force because they enjoy domination and control a predisposition to DV and other abuses.
This whole case is so heartbreaking, especially that Brians parents just "ghosted" Gabbys parents...but the two RUclipsrs finding that video on their dead son's birthday just gave be literal chills.
Did the cops not pick up on him taking a phone out of his pocket, after saying he didn't have one? Or the fact that her message to Brian was for him to not forget his phone charger?
Righhttttt!!!
And people are in such shock when they say they hate police or belittle them! You can teach all the sensitivity training and all of the gun training and “how to be a police officer” training that you want but common sense can’t be taught no matter what job you’re doing
@@rookholgado2966 Facts. 💯
@@rookholgado2966 this!! I know this might be a bit strong but I do believe all police (globally) should be put into simulated situations in training that mimic the ones in this video. Things like having a woman act as a victim of DV or other things could help police develop some of that common sense through practice. Or maybe it's impossible to teach an old system a new way of dealing with things 😣
as a survivor of domestic violence, the ONLY difference between me and Gabby's fate is that my local LEOs were actually trained well in domestic violence and partnered with the local resource center. after my ex strangled me, they arrested him and basically forced us apart even though i was willing to minimize everything and wanted to stay with him. may Gabby rest in Paradise and may her death not be in vain and instead save other lives in DV situations
Same babe same. My ex stabbed me twice. Tried to slice my throat but I was able to block it. I jumped out of his car while he was driving. Once I finally got to the hospital and the cops came I said I didn't want to press charges.. thankfully the cops said they didn't care that THEY would press charges. I still saw him that night I can't believe how manipulated I was by him.
My ex strangled me and my neighbor heard the commotion from her apartment and called the police. When they got there they ignored her telling them what she heard and they arrested me instead
Cops are killed during DV incidents more than any other situation!
@@fernandagarcia877 Women refuse to realize that it will only escalate! My aunt ended up killing her husband back in the 60's after years and years of ever escalating abuse! I refused to live like that!
@@cactusqltr do u know what manipulation is??? Did U watch the video, dear Lord get a grip. Rip ur sweet grandma 👵🏻 too…but on a real note why would u respond to a person sharing with bullcrap??
That bearded cop that horned in and took over should lose his job. Everything he did makes HIM look like an abuser. He created the dismissive atmosphere and labeling of Gabby that caused the other cops to ultimately go quiet.
I would love to know if they were disciplined or apologized.
@@angelascharmedlifeof course not. Lol of course they weren’t. If they were, more DV cases would be dealt with
Yep, none of us were shocked when we later found out that the bearded cop reportedly had prior DV charges for his abuse against the "emotional ex wife" he spoke of in the body cam footage for this case. Unsurprisingly, stats show that at least 40% of police officers are self reported DV perps themselves! It's absolutely sickening!!
@@blondepinkie3987I'm not surprised that an abuser would want to be a cop where they can get satisfaction from being in a place of power and being able to "dominate" people.
@@error404webpagenotfound yep, unfortunately abusers often gravitate towards positions of power, for that very reason.
when the cop says “they don’t trust the police to make good decisions” i lol’d so hard. NO SHIT BUDDY
Honestly, this is one of the reasons why people want social workers being more involved in the police force. After police determine it's safe for a social worker to arrive on scene of domestic abuse cases, then the social worker should be allowed to make a call on what to do in this situation. They're trained to identify abuse and how to handle them.
Also, cops NEED to be trained on this shit too because they're definitely DEFINITELY lacking.
@@rock2946 💯💯💯👍👍💞
Maybe they shouldn't have trusted the cops....
Swoop. Out of all people that covered this I know you’re one of the few that made this video for the right reasons 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Fact
Oooh Malcolm!! This is devastating but I wanted to say I love your videos soo much ❤️ Glad to see the love for Swoop ❤️❤️
@@cortney3798 appreciate you cortney 🙏🏾
Swoop you will be a good pretty therapist. Go for it please.
I'm not surprised that police were that insensitive. I've experienced that.
I was 15 and got into a physical fight with my father. I spent my whole saturday drawing digitally and when he got home (drunk), after a while, forcefully turned the pc down. I was mad at him, he was verbally abusing me, and just wanted to draw peacefully. But when I got up from my desk to go to my room, he charged at me and that evolved into a full on fight. He torn up my pajamas, thrown me and his father against the wall, I scratched and bit him. After that I called the police - mind you, it wasn't our first fight, I just loved him so much and didn't want to get him in trouble, but it was too much. He was screaming at me the whole time. I was scared, in shock.
Then the police arrived. They asked 15-year old me what happened and I, through tears, tried to tell them, but I didn't even get to get to the fighting, when they asked me if my parents ever beaten me with a cord. Shocked, I said no. They started laughing and belittling me, because I wasn't... abused enough I guess? They didn't listen to me. They joked with my paps and left. I was so... shocked, heartbroken, a part of me that was counting on people to help me died that day. I just wanted him to be taken away for a night so he could sober up. He was not, instead, I was humiliated.
I'm not anymore shocked by any awful actions made by policeman's, especially when you see what was happening in Poland (where I live) in December. That's the sad reality we live in.
I’m wishing you lots of luck 🍀, love 💕, and peace ☮️. I know this is cheesy but idk what to say, I had this happen to me at the same damn age just a different situation. I just hope ur doing better now.
Yup. When I was 17, I called the police for help when my mother (who was bipolar) was attacking me and having a manic episode, and I didn’t know what to do. The police turned it around on me and said if I was good and listened to my mom then they wouldn’t have to take ME away and lock ME up. I was so terrified I just stopped talking and knew, from that point on, there was no getting help.
I'm from Poland too and I know what you mean. That’s why I will never go back there. The misogyny, our rights being taken away, women dying because of these laws decided by old men. I'm truly sorry for what you've been through!😢
@@Venvaneless It's truly awful. As an LGBTQ+, I'm constantly so worried for mine and my friends safety. I hope I can get the fuck outta here soon, safely.
I'm glad you're safe and, I hope, happy.
@@jmathiason experienced a friend's manic episode a few months ago and I can't imagine trying to get your mother to calm down or.... anything. You're very brave and I hope safe now.
I am a survivor of DV and in 2020 my Autistic son was finally able to come forward and speak about some of the awful abuse he suffered during court ordered visitations with our abuser. This entire case has been so close to my heart and I send all my love to Gabby's family. Escaping DV is hard and even today my PTSD is real and hard. Swoop I started crying when you said you are worth it. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that today
Same here sending you hugs
Sending you both love , prayers of strength and positive healing energy 💜💜💜💜
I’m sending you support, too. I was abused as a child and witnessed verbal and emotional abuse of my mom. I was also emotionally abused by some of my exes. I have severe CPTSD and other issues from it all. We have to remember that we didn’t cause or deserve the abuse.
I strongly believe that Gabby was abused in several ways.
@@lisaburnette3476 Aà
@@mswendybear1 . I believe that Brian was being abused mentally and physically by Gabby. She had a tantrum and Brian was forced to defend himself ""Again" but this time he hit back too hard which resulted in her death.
What people have to remember is it's not just the man that can be the aggressor, women can be just as bad. I should know, I lived through a 4 year violent relationship which I left after she finally went too far and hit me once too often!!!
Research reactive abuse. That is exactly why she lost is. He was TRYING to provoke her, thus making HER look like the abuser although the opposite is true
How is it when no DNA from any one other than Brian was found on Gabby, that Brian was not her killsr?
Ya
Then again idk, people are dense sometimes
This was exactly what I thought. They really get your emotions high especially around others so that they can point at you and say "look how crazy they are!!! Look how calm and collected I am!". I'm so sorry for gaby...
@@larrybrenneman1060 ...what are you talking about?
Dear Swoop, everytime you tell me it's not my fault, tell me I'm doing well and you're proud of me I feel better in myself. Thank you ❤️
Officers ignored the bruise on her face and the scratch on her arm or hand.
They also completely ignored how he was trying to steal her van. Her "violence" was an attempt to prevent him from stealing it.
Based on the videos, they never seemed to ask to see the registration. And Swoop makes a very good case about them not delving deep enough into the report about a "man slapping the woman". The cop that first talks to Brian in the driver seat mentions the incident as it was reported. They then don't ask him about what was reported. Why wouldn't they assume that she scratched him because he was slapping her!!!!!!!!!!!! Trying to defend herself... or trying to keep him from taking off in HER car, HER home! And somewhere I think I read he took her phone! Remember when he's at the back of the van talking to LE and says he "doesn't really have a phone", and then proceeds to pull a phone out of his pocket? These officers need to go back to school to learn about DV behaviors! This is just beyond maddening :(
The fact that females also get labeled when we “CRY” that it must be mental issues. Pisses me off !!!!! I’m so sick of the label !
the way that brian is with the police is exactly how my ex would act in front of people when i would try to tell them what was going on. it makes me so sad that the ACTUAL POLICE don’t seem to understand that she’s obviously scared and SHAKING
Same
I had to help a friend get out of a house with an abusive ex friend/landlord, and we had the cops there. The abuser was trying so hard to be friendly with the cops, to the point where it was almost hilarious. She was so loud and overly "welcoming" at first, but the cops didn't buy it. Thankfully, she wasn't a good actress, and we told them ahead of time that part of the issue was she was very manipulative.
SAME!
The witness clearly stated twice on the 911 call that he hit her.
The whole thing with the bodycams just prove that we DESPARATELY need to re-vamp how LEO approach these situations. I don't feel comfortable saying if the cops did or did not do the right thing at that time. In Hindsight we damn well know that something was massively wrong and they could have done more, however this is more proof that we can't dump all situations on cops, we need broader staff with skillsets that can ID and handle these things along with protocols on when to elevate. IE when the cop thought she was having a breakdown...why didn't he call somebody else? The cold reality could be there was nobody TO call. These cops just didn't have the skill sets to properly see what was happening.
As a criminal justice major, there is a massive disconnect between our justice system and mental health systems
That is our sad reality right now
I don't believe that the cops didn't see what was happening. Statistically a shit ton of cops are abusers, so I'm not surprised at all they were buddy-buddy with Brian. I especially don't trust the cop that asked if Brian was "patient" with her
I've worked in legal for about a decade now. Unfortunately, once she said she hit him first, she tied their hands in many ways.
@@Deadpool4president It's really hard to judge on that because one of the ways cops are taught to question people is to build rapport. Yes, they could be being all buddy buddy but it could also be trying to make Brian comfortable so he talks.
I'm not saying this approach is good or bad, I'm just saying it is a thing.
Brian's online persona was meant to degrade Gabby. His disdain for social media and the Internet was targeted at what Gabby was doing. It was a way of putting her down, indirectly. When he talked to the police he referred to her website as her "little website." We know that this got to Gabby because she told the police he didn't believe in her. He was likely 1) sabotaging her efforts (by disrupting her work, by insisting they leave when she was trying to get her website up and running), and creating a lot of conflict while she worked (w/her and w/restaurant staff) and 2) he was demeaning what she did and her by extension through his constant posts about how worthless social media is. From his comments about humanity, we see Brian elevating himself above others and the level of his contempt for others, couched as his concern for nature. He was a very narcissistic, manipulative, entitled man. I can imagine that he was creating conflict with Gabby on purpose to make her look bad (crazy, selfish, incompetent, shallow) all the time. He seemed to be quite talented at the sly putdowns and passive aggressive stirring the pot to create conflict. That trip must have been a nightmare for Gabby.
Exactly couldn’t have said it better ! If you see the video of gabby in the tent where it rained all night you can get a glimpse of how her trip must have been. Poor girl died believing she was the problem
Plus isolating/removing her from her family when they both moved in with his parents who didn’t care enough to communicate with her parents. I can’t imagine what a nightmare it was living in the house with all of them, considering how swiftly they took Brian’s side even when she was clearly missing.
The boyfriend,Brian, was systematically manipulating and undermining Gabby . Who diagnosed her with OCD? She said he doesn’t have faith in me. He was breaking her confidence and sense of self worth. It must have escalated horribly. He would “poke the bear “ she’d get defensive and agitated and then he’d tell her “to calm down”. She would then blame herself. I would “ apologize to him….he stresses me out”
With anxiety you tend to have OCD. I have situational anxiety and cptsd from abuse. And bc of it I tend to be OCD. Bc when you have any kind of anxiety brought on by abuse ( emotional, physical, mental) you have no control bc somebody is controlling you so being ocd abt things are the only things you have control. And you can't help it. Just like gabby talking to the cops...its so clear she was abused. And she was hysterical bc she was 1. Scared of telling them that she gets beat bc brian would of let her have it. 2. She was in the middle of a anxiety attack. And yes you get that way with a anxiety attack and its hard tp calm down. i know. Been there done it. So yes..she had OCD.
She actually has not been diagnosed with ocd. At least that’s what her dad said
@@mdk0516 I don't think she was OCD at all. She was not diagnosed with it, or taking medication for it. She used the terminology as slang imho and because he is such a jerk, he had her thinking that simply wanting to keep the van clean and orderly, somehow made her the problem. He's the lowest form of human. But he'll still have crazy women writing him and trying to be his gf, when and if he ever gets caught and thrown in prison where he belongs.
BL was prescribed meds for his mental condition but he was not taking it so he was the problem.
♥️
“He locked her out of her own home”
That hit me so hard, I hadn’t thought about it that way.
And in the end, he did in fact, abandon her.
RIP sweet girl 🕊
He not only locked her out of her home, he had the ability to drive away with her home (the van) and not come back.
I've been binge-watching videos about this case all day, and this is the first time anyone's mentioned it. I hadn't thought of it like that till I heard it here. Excellent point.
Kendall Rae mentioned that in the body cam footage, one of the cops commented something along the lines of “women in these relationships end up getting killed” and that was so sick to me
My Mom cried to me after seeing this body cam footage that she was scared for years that an argument of this nature would be the start of abuse that lead to my death at the hands of my ex. Watching Gabby broke my heart as I could put myself im her exact place hundreds of times over- afraid to tell the truth & feeling responsible for the abuse I was receiving. I'm so thankful for your inclusion of the signs of DV.
Happy you are safe now!!!
😭😭ahhhh 😭😭😭😭. Glad you’re away from your ex. As a parent that sounds like a nightmare. And must have been for you
Same here. My parents told me that what Brian’s parents did to protect him, that my ex’s family would do too. I’m glad I’m out of that relationship and that you are too. Stay strong ❤️
HE hit the curb
the caller said HE hit her
Yet they immediately zoned in on shes at fault, absolutely ridiculous.
@@heatherrniicole1552 A scenario like that has happened to me which is just so crazy! I was arrested for leaving my home and having my ex follow me around the neighborhood screaming at me. A bystander called the cops to report that i was being followed and taunted but because there was no "recorded" proof they arrested me saying that by fleeing the scene it was basically admitting guilt.
as a survivor of narc abuse (18 years worth, ugh), the body cam footage is so frustrating to watch. the narc abuser is always so calm, so helpful while the victim looks super upset, can come across as unhinged and "not right in the head", etc. it's a classic, heartbreaking scene.
Agreed because sadly, same. I hope you are healing and doing well. ♥️
Yup…
I completely understand. A narcissist will provoke you to react emotionally due to their dismissive behaviors. They abuse mentally and emotionally. And then act like they haven’t done anything. The narcissist crave attention and loves being the victim. Police need to take Psycology and Sociology courses as a part of their curriculum to arm themselves with knowledge necessary to navigate through these scenarios. I literally became emotional watching her bc I feel her pain. And then Brian remaining calm. True narcissism. RIP Gabby.
That’s what a Narc does. They make you unruly and upset so you seem “crazy”. No one wants to believe a “crazy” person, much less a women crying.
He was calm because he put her in that state, and they can shut down and present calm to manipulate people especially if it’s gonna undermine you. Only to blow up at the victim after no one is watching.
really the officers should've been ALARMED at how jovial and calm brian was being, meanwhile his girlfriend is SOBBING in the back of a police car. any sensible, innocent man would be beside himself with worry or at least upset at the overall situation. such a heartbreaking case. had they been separated then, perhaps gabby could still be alive... god rest her beautiful soul.
the body cam video is chillingly sad and incredibly telling of how incompetent the police force is in DV cases. officers not only often side with abusers, they too often *are* domestic abusers... they gaslit the crap out of her to blame herself without even realizing it. ive heard that kind of talk ("you dont have the skills to deal with stress..." "you're probably very anxious") too often myself. ill bet as soon as the poor soul mentioned OCD (whether she actually had it or not) they immediately labled her as 'crazy and unreliable' in their minds. so condescending.
bingo
I didn't have the words. Thank you.
What bothered me the most about how LE handled this is that one of the officers referred to Gabby in terms of his own wife or ex-wife as he laughed with Brian that women just act that way like it was a good old boy joke about how women often do not make sense.
Yeah, that’s called personal bias, and it’s VERY dangerous in these situations. As we can see, now.
Actually that is the way that LE get people to talk...
The officer acted that way with Brian probably to get him to let his guard down like with “ a buddy” so he might slip up and say something. Believe it or not, the cops aren’t always to blame. this is all on Brian. That monster took her life. He decided to abuse her and take her life.
@@mackenzieshirley7219 I agree that Brian was the monster and I also understand the "Good Ole Boy" talk that the officer did with Brian. However, that officer just needs better training in domestic situations or he has been trained and is just "set in his ways". An even worse mistake was made when the officer threatened Gabby with taking her in as though it was her fault. Gabby then became more afraid and shut down.
it will be very difficult to change those men and how they act. u cant do it overnight. and it is not helping anyone with those feminist idéology. some of us are Really crazy this days.
As a survivor of domestic violence i never would say he hit me, even if he pushed..grabbed hair..ect. as long as he didn't punch me like a man I wouldn't say he hit me. Abusers know not to leave marks where people will question.
♥️ heal well x
Yes, I would let an ex bf push me and slap me and leave bruises sneak in my house and jump on me in my sleep and hold me down and cuss me out and headbutt me even, but as long as he didn't square up and punch me in my face and break my jaw or anything I would always tell everyone he didn't touch me at ALL. As long as he didn't bruise something I couldn't cover up. The cops asked me if he hit me and I said no way he never touched me. They asked many times because I was obviously disheveled and I denied he ever did anything wrong. I escaped long ago though. But I'd do that too.
Mine bragged that he punched the top of my head because it didn't leave noticeable marks.
And when they do, they know how they'll cover it up. My birth father (who is not my real dad, my step dad is my "real" dad) once broke my mother's nose and shoved her down the stairs. He made she to shove her after so he could tell the hospital she fell. He kept getting away with it until child me sought help for SA, physical trauma that nothing he said could cover up.
Same. My ex would even say "I have never punched you" as evidence that he wasn't abusive. Why are we all conditioned to think that abuse must be extreme and bloody to be valid?
It’s so haunting and absolutely heartbreaking watching this now a year later knowing everything that happened. He took a beautiful human away and she got no justice.
I’m 20 minutes in and already just fuming; the cops talking to Gabby were so condescending towards her when talking about “her emotional and mental struggles at her age”. They had a witness and a phone call saying that Brian hit Gabby and her telling them he wouldn’t let her in the car as well as being violent. They should’ve brought them both in, at least that way they could’ve had an actual professional talk to Gabby about what happened. Clearly she wasn’t alright. It breaks my heart
Him laughing at her saying she has anxiety.. and asking if her boyfriend is patient with her.. it's like he's mocking her..
It CRUSHES me the way they treated her. They were basically fist bumping this douche with multiple reports of HIM hitting HER. It’s horrendous. Absolutely horrendous.
You should watch the WHOLE 2 videos instead of jumping to conclusions from select picks from the video.
I agree with the hindsight analysis, however, the cops did all they could with the evidence presented: i.e the second 911 call that DIDN’T mention brian striking her.
Also, the van, as fiancés, would be considered communal property. Like a house under one spouse’s name being community property for both.
This is a textbook case for reallocating police funding from armored vehicles to trained professionals in mental health and domestic violence.
@@TheVFXbyArt we watched all the videos. The cops could have done better. Bye.
@@liontoyou9518 Hi! With a time machine, yes.
I appreciate that you are donating to the Petito foundation, especially when others are just taking advantage of the situation for views
I'll second that
Third!... looking at you WOACB.. Katherine Paulson... same trash list as the Landrie's
AMEN!!!!!!
💯 agree!! Gabby’s death won’t be in vain and I truly believe big changes are going to be made due to her tragic situation!!
I watched this case carefully .... And it took me another 6 months to realised I was married to a Brian. I'd didn't even SEE it until afterwards. 2 months out of that relationship, I'm still a hermit, crying every day and bingeing Swoop. Best recovery ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Congratulations friend
Brian's parents absolutely aided him in running and should be charged along with him
They won’t be unless it can be proven that they knew he murdered her when they helped him. He wasn’t “wanted” when he fled. If they continue to helped him and have continued to help him (even knowing where he is) then they can be charged. Either way, I HOPE they are charged for aiding and abetting bc their cruelty has been LOUDER than words!
Yes!! before they run away too
@@TangledTrueCrime Throw the whole book at them and then some. Hope the Prosecutor has a field day with them.
Absolutely! Also I've been getting attacked by Brian supporter's for saying that and commenting praise for Gabbie and her family. I can't believe it.
I can't believe they didnt call her parent's when he returned in her van ! I can't believe they'd help him if they knew anything no matter how much they love him they must turn him in not help him !
my ex used to take my phone and my keys and would revel in how i would react, how he could look calm while i looked crazy trying to get MY things back. i cant imagine going through that while being away from all my family and friends. RIP Gabby.
I used to say he just loved to “f with me” with that stupid cool calm smirk. He got off watching me get upset.
Mine would take and hide my college textbooks before tests bc he didn't want me going to school.
the way brian laughs when the cop says that hes a victim of domestic assault makes my blood boil.
He's on the run, not missing. His family's law enforcement connection is the only reason he's considered "missing". I got out of a relationship with a narcissist it was hard. I had to plan it for a week and snuck out.
Cops always protect abusers especially ones their friends with
So glad you're safe now!
Girlllll, same! I hate that people think it is so easy.
@EssenceToney Do hope you are much happier& safer now 🦋🙏💙
Just from the conversation of officer Robbins/Roberts when taking BL to the hotel/motel for the night he used to be a lond distance truck driver & his wife would accompany him, so he was yapping on about travelling the highways & byways & also his own relationship (as well as where his current residence is) with BL.
🛑 Can we all just appreciate Swoop here for a moment.
THANK YOU SWOOP for educating your viewers about the topics you cover. ❤❤❤❤❤
Honestly, no matter how angry I get at someone I'm dating (which, admittedly, isn't much - I date chill people), if I saw them as distressed as Gabby was, anger gone. I wouldn't be able to be happy and jovial if they were sobbing.
What you're saying is absolutely correct. If you love someone, seeing them in that much distress would break your heart and you'd immediately try to soothe them. The fact that he was laughing and joking with the cops as well as STILL ARGUING with her in the car just shows how toxic of a person he is.
That's so true. I don't think police officers get that.
No person being accused of DV is going to be happy about it. Innocent people are going to be feeling angry and upset because they're being betrayed by the person they care about most, but someone who commit DV is probably going to be either guilty or calm because it's either the first time they've hit a partner, or they hit people frequently and know how to lie themselves ou the situation.
Being happy and friendly is the most suspicious thing a person can do when being accused of DV. It's just... who on earth would be happy whilst being accused of causing the person they care most about psychological distress and putting them in physical harm?
"The state of Utah deemed that officers can't make the right decisions because there's a lot of officers that haven't made the right decisions so they made a law and we don't really have the choice here" says the officers that LITERALLY MAKE THE WRONG DECISION. Way to set an example. 👏🏼
They should have both been brought in and an actual professional (social worker type person) should have done interviews
Exactly!! Like, THIS IS WHY THEY MADE THE LAW, dipshit, now follow it. Even if they'd brought Gabby in under the assumption that she was the aggressor, they could have saved her life.
@@CJMGalaxy can you imagine the way the feel now, though? Knowing if they had they would’ve saved her life? I wouldn’t want to live with that, even if I felt at the time like I was making the right choice.
Yes!!!! 👏👏👏👏❤️
@@VirginiaGeorge I hope they feel like shit, they should. I'm not going to blame them for her death, that's on Brian (probably, allegedly, etc), but they did fail her spectacularly. They need to see this as a failure and it needs to inform how they approach situations like this in the future.
Every time I rewatch the policeencounter, I see more signs. Gabby should still be alive right now. Just the way he was so worried about what Gabby was telling them.
It's always the people with the kindest, most empathic hearts that are taken advantage of by selfish, malignant and malicious individuals. And the worst is that they end up persuading their victims that they deserve every second of the abuse they're receiving.
He was an excellent manipulator and I definitely got a "it's just one of those emotional little girls" condescending attitude in the "interactions" with Gabby.
Yes. In general, he seems condescending attitude towards almost everyone, IMO. But, the amount of times he used the word "little" when speaking about the goals she was trying to accomplish, just boils my blood.
When he made that crazy remark it was clear he was doing that whole "females am I right??" thing that men do to make us women seem like we are unhinged dramatic things. I had no idea about any of the details so it's really interesting and heartbreaking to hear how this has all been unfolding.
Everyone needs to take notice especially the law, it could have saved her life!
@@oh.mylanta. I think he could have killed the 2 ladies also!
@@gsd715 listen to the way he tells her to take a shower??? huh? golden flower golden shower. imo this creep cop raped gabby this same night while brian was at hotel, and lesbians came to help and were murdered
My ex husband was physically and mentally abusive to me and I can relate to how Gabby felt . I always felt like everyone was on his side and never listened to me and it was very upsetting and frustrating.
21:16 Even Brian can't contain his laughter that they think Gabby is the abuser, Very telling
I know cops have a tough job, but these guys are a damned LESSON on what NOT to do... so much they missed, that poor girl. 😢 The 911 call was clear, he was hitting her. She was distressed, he was NOT.
What upsets me about this is that they even state law at them to say they need to make an arrest and don't. Then the cops continue to scold her and don't say anything to him. Ridiculous.
I'm just gonna say my ex husband would act just like Brian when the cops would come when he was hitting me. My husband was smooth. Finally after 28 police calls in 2 cities a cop caught my husband lying about the fingerprints on my neck. The cop proved the fingerprints were made by my husband and not mine and took pictures and took him to jail.
I'm not surprised the cops in Utah making her 5he blame. I lived there after I divorced my husband and the cops just hate charging men for abuse there because they think women always claim abuse all the time. It's sad..
Whats really upsetting, is that there is available tech to be able to photograph a victims neck, to see the extent of the damage, and for comparisons for things like fingerprints, and hand size. Police don't have this equipment though. They do have tanks, slushie machines, and other worthless equipment. They could prioritize equipment to help with stopping and charging individuals for violent assaults. They choose not to.
Solitaire - Ex did the exact same thing!!! (Step daughter, then, in addition to) the ex - husband - at that time, took papers out of my purse. It was fairly late at night, and I had just finished documenting yet more harassment by them, which was what I had done during quite several months, and had begun to accumulate quite the stack of documentation.
Husband woke up, just as I was finishing documenting more harassment, so I put it in my purse. He took it out of my purse and was walking around with the papers in his hand, but wasn't reading them. I finally said, "Go ahead and read them, there's nothing in the documentation that isn't true!" He made a gesture that he was going to hide the papers, so I demanded that he give them back - "You aren't even reading the papers." "Give them back, and stop harassing me, or I wi call the police!" ( I said that because he - and his daughter had deployed a smear campaign among other things, and were trying to get me in legal trouble based on lies.)
So, husband himself - called the police (!) and said, as cool as a cucumber, " There's a domestic disturbance here..." as if he was filling out a Sudoku puzzle (!!!!!!!) The police officer came - but - not one - BUT 5 POLICE OFFICERS came into the house!!!
THEY WERE THE ONES TO TELL ME to go to the hospital for drug and alchohol tests - which, of course were quite clear, since I do not even smoke pot or cigarettes!!!!!!!!
So, I know, first hand - the stress, and harassment done by not only family members - but - at the hands of the police - "blame the victim".
And the fact the cops talked about the law that was made because they don’t take abuse claims seriously but still didn’t take either of them in…
Hope this cop is forever haunted by this failure when the signs were RIGHT THERE.
Like, didn't he say "I have a daughter..." blablabla, as if he understands.
Now imagine finding the remains of your strangled daughter.
I love how well you articulated this. So many signs were missed and we should never put responsibility on the victim to avoid abusive situations, we should put the responsibility on the abusers
“They wrote a law because too many cops made bad decisions”
Nice to know they understand that concept when it suits them.
It gives me the fucking chills that, as soon as the police man tells Brian that it seems like he's the victim of the aggression, Brian *laughs* about it and the police doesn't say anything. This doc is amazingly put - as your work usually is! - and it explains the case so well, but watching this in its entirety made my stomach sink and it's so disgusting to see the Laundrie family's actions as a whole... my heart goes to the Petito family and all of Gabby's friends.
Not only did he laugh when they called him the victim, but he also said, "I don't know about that." He knew he wasn't the victim.
@@EdgePatrol RIGHT? He knew damn well he wasn't a victim, said it point blank, but also made no attempt at rectifying that to the police because he knew he benefitted from that (both by having the police on his side + mantaining control over Gabby). it's baffling that the policemen overlooked this completely.
@@EdgePatrol exactly
I hope those police are in trouble over this. How do you miss the obvious???? They need jail time!
He was fist bumping the cops and laughing. Makes me sick.
My goodness, she looks so distressed and vulnerable. How could the police not see that. Shocking.
This case highlights to me how a victim of an abusive relationship is conditioned over time to not seek help and many people are saying why didnt she tell the cops etc etc. She has been conditioned to think she is at fault and that he is putting up with her and is trying to “help” her. Ive known many survivors of abuse that keep saying the same thing, an abusive partner is usually an expert manipulator and an abused person will believe they are the problem. So heartbroken for Gabby
Christina- so on point - there is so much need out there: If those who need help can get it, they WILL get out sooner!
I can't believe the police didn't run the freaking tag to see who owned the van!
i already know this will be done with so much compassion and respect for Gabby.
ETA as i’m watching: the body cam footage of Gabby crying and finally venting about how he doesn’t believe in her dreams and shows how little Brian saw her. i wish she would have gotten out alive. i wish the people there that day would have been more aware of how Gabby was acting and listening to what she was saying. it’s insane to me that they saw Brian as the victim and Gabby as the aggressor.
Wonder if you realize ETA means estimated time of arrival? I mean no offense and maybe I just don't understand what mean
@@Lonesome__Dove it also means “edited to add” on posts on fb, reddit, youtube, etc. but thanks for *trying* to correct me.
Yall sure are rude. That's exactly why Included by last sentence. I was unaware of the new social media lingo. I stand corrected. No harm done. But your rudeness definitely is indicative of your character.
@@Lonesome__Dove wasn’t rude. i also don’t care what an online stranger things of my “character” - especially after a single comment lmao
Estimated time of arrival
I'd been avoiding watching this video, just because the story is so heartbreaking, especially thinking about the 2nd nightmare that her family has had to endure AFTER losing Gabby.
As usual, your coverage, commentary, and respect given to this story were A-1.
As a mental health professional who works as a crisis worker in an ER, those officers absolutely mishandled the situation to such a high degree like… the things they were saying were not only presumptuous and full of implicit bias, they were invalidating and frankly manipulative. AND did the OPPOSITE of making her feel safe and calm. The whole point of police response to a domestic situation is to de-escalate and ensure safety.
I agree, but I also agree with statements that they were trying not to back a couple up in the system for having a bad day. Perhaps that came from a place of ignorance. It’s really unfortunate.
@@VirginiaGeorge right but if they classified it as a “mental health crisis” they 100% should have had a mental health clinician do a full assessment in an ER or crisis center.
@@Emmae62 agreed.
@@VirginiaGeorge
There very first mistake was totally disregarding talking to the man who called 911.
The biggest mistake from the get go before they ever even hit to the point of deciding anything is what they didn’t do and to me, was a total failure in every way imaginable. That is Police Academy 101.
That was talking to the person who apparently felt it necessary to make a call into 911. It’s almost like that was null and void. I was so aggravated after watching the body cam when it was first released.
Now I also was just like WTH are they doing . Just trying to figure out why they were talking about it at all except in the beginning.
Well they released a 2nd body cam days later. I was even more infuriated. It should have sent sirens going off to the officer they show on the phone talking to the witness. I will get the link to see if you can pick up what I am talking about .
Hearing that she died by strangulation parallels with him showing his anger earlier on August 12th, when she says that he grabbed her face at 20:45. Her hand placement very much insinuates that it could’ve been a grab at her neck. It’s so eerie and so horrible. Obviously the officers could’ve never imagined this would happen- but for them to see how visibly uncomfortable and bothered she was compared to him, how could they even think she was the abuser in that situation? 😞
He still could have "strangled" her by covering her nose and mouth firmly enough to stop her breathing,for long enough.
If I were those cops, I'd be watching the body cam footage over and over & smacking myself wondering where I went wrong.
I want to say that if they had a police women this situation (assessment) and probably the life of Gaby could have been different outcome. I am very impressed with this great summary : very well done
@@jeanburk9539 that would be asphyxiation not strangulation
It’s horrible 😭
I hope those cops never get a good night's sleep ever again. How do you interview a victim literal feet away from her abuser and expect her to be truthful?
They strike me as unaware power-trippers. Just stoked to be in a position of authority, missing all the obvious signals. Useless and embarrassing.
As a victim of DV , and being in a similar situation, my boyfriend use to lock me out of vehicle in places I was unfamiliar with, with no money or cell phone and sometimes just a small bag of cloths or none at all , and my fight or flight would kick in and I have also done anything I need to get back into the vehicle , which was my home . It’s absolute panic and fear. Im glad my life story changed and I never looked back on that time but I feel the police missed the clear signs . I have done what Gabby did in front of cops so many times for my abuser . This is so heartbreaking .
Open and honestly told a judge that I slapped my ex on his chest because he was beating me all the time and the night before. He never admitted to it so judge saw me as the violent one. Please, if you are in this situation, get PROOF (safely) of what's happening to you and be careful what you admit to, because abusers will LIE LIE LIE
Condolences to the Petito family, what a tragic, horrible loss. Condolences to the families of indigenous women who went missing, I hope at least some of them will get home one day. Rest in peace those who won't. Rest in peace, Gabby.
A friend of mine, Cian ( pronounced Keane) McLaughlin went missing from Teton National Park on the 8th of June 2021. He is an Irish National who has been living stateside for a number of years. He was last seen in good spirits hiking in the park with little with him. He wasn’t reported missing until he didn’t show up for work. His car was found parked at grand Teton National Park. His friend saw him and another man had a conversation with him. Please cover the other people who went missing from grand Teton this summer. Cian’s family obviously live in Ireland and all of his friends. They weren’t immediately on site to push to find him and the media didn’t cover his disappearance nearly a fraction of the way Gabbys was. He is an amazing bright bubbly guy and such a loss to all not knowing his fate. Not trying to take away from the Gabby Petito case it’s horrific. It’s incredibly painful for his close friends and family knowing Cian went missing from the same area and still hasn’t been found months on. Hopefully if the spot light is put on his disappearance he can be found too
I'm here in Ireland and hv not see or heard anything about him. Where was he from in Ireland?
Wow I’m sorry 😢 hope he’s found
@@sylviasmother577 he’s from Dublin Ireland. It was covered very briefly by a few papers but not widely picked up by the media! I don’t understand why. If you look up grand Teton National park fb page they covered it extensively but their were no new leads so the search has gone dead 😔
I hope your friend is found soon
@@TheMadamDragon the missing report on him is buried deep on the Grand Tetons FB page. I had to dig. Be good if they had a Missing Alert Pop Up on every view, if possible? Do many people go missing in this area? I know there was a Felon on the run in the area,June to September 30 (John Freeman Colt?) Ex pat RUclipsrs may help to generate interest for search & recovery. Was He part of Irish ex pat community in US?
I really hate how the cops were telling Brian the witnesses all said he didn't hit her. The 911 call CLEARLY stated he was hitting and chased her. So fucking angry.
I am glad you brought up the fact....IT'S HER VAN!!! In all the videos I've seen about this....you're the only one to bring it up. I've literally YELLED while watching various videos- ITS HER VAN! Who the F#&K is he to lock her out?? Thank you Capt. Obvious!
Watching that police officer tell her she was the primary aggressor knowing what we know now and then watching how she reacted to being told that you can see just see her wilt and it’s so heartbreaking.
Yes 💔 that moment stuck out for me.
She was so honest and at the crucial point she needed someone to hear her, she got deemed a hysterical women with a violent streak. Makes me so angry.
and they wonder why victims stay silent to law enforcement. its fucking tragic
ACAB 💔 Rest In Peace to Gabby
As a survivor of an abusive relationship, I've cried multiple times throughout this video. My deepest condolences to her family and those around her. If I didn't leave my relationship, I feared I could've been another one on the news, missing. I just can't imagine the pain her family and friends are going through
Me too makes me really cry reminds me of my past
Me too makes me really cry reminds me of my past
Honestly, yes I do think Brian’s parents have A LOT to do with this either hiding him or helping him escape. Also I do think that he might be hiding somewhere in the United States but as Swoop said, the weather is about to change so unless he is in a place with “no winter” he has to be crossing the boarder or hidden in a low key residence somewhere. I do think he will someday be caught, hopefully soon because the Petito family deserves justice and some type of closure. My condolences to them.
The interactions with the Utah police are deeply concerning and frustrating.
These cops are DENSE idiots. Never seen anything like it!!!!! Actually very scary.
Very much agree!
I cant believe how they address her as the main aggressor. SHE IS CRYING THE WHOLE TIME. brian is like "yeah i guess we argued didnt notice that ✌🏻" i cant believe this sh.t
"Funny" part is that all the male "body language" experts (even those working for the government) who reacted to the footage before her body was found "read" the situation the same way. They all sided with Brian and deemed Gabby a bit unstable. It's scary how (especially) male police officers who are supposed to protect can be so "blind". I am no body expert but when I watched the video, Brian gave me creeps and I fell physically sick seeing Gabby in such a distress.
@@lenusniq_9746 Logan from Observe didn't read it that way I think (can't remember) but i remember dudes in the comments siding with Brian
@@justwannafreefx9419 I didn't see Logan's first video but judging from the fact that later he privated/deleted the video and posted an "apology" letter stating that he will educate himself on the issues/signs of DV, I think unfortunately he also read it that way. And I really do like him so .. yeah....
@@Ruby-xk8kn Yeah, I meant mainly them but they weren't the only. However, the other have the decency to acknowledge when they were wrong whereas to four didn't. Also I lost all "respect" to them.
@@lenusniq_9746 if I recall correctly I think he said something about her possibly having a breakdown, Brian possibly hiding something and that he didn't think Brian *hurt* her but that he may have left her behind or something. Ofc I could be remembering wrong.
Either way I suppose it's best to not make these types of videos while a case is going on, before having any real facts 😅
Brian did not have any marks on his face when he was first questioned in the driver seat self inflicted before he came out of the van?
Law enforcement needs to be ACTUALLY trained to recognize tell tail signs of abusive/dangerously toxic relationships with people they encounter expecially when they’re called to the scene for something or pullin someone over specially
I somewhat disagree. I think LEOs need to be trained to identify potential situations and then have experts who can come in and evaluate. I don't think it's reasonable to ask every officer to be pros in dealing with DV.
But it should be the same as bringing in an interpreter - here is a situation, we need experts.
The problem with that is so many police are abusers themselves. Their own egos get in their way when it comes to DV. That training would never be effective because the police themselves need therapy that they wouldn't even take seriously first.
The problem with that is, that not every situation is what it seems and not everyone is who they seem to be. No matter how trained you are you can make a mistake.
@@Elaan021 anything but training less time than it takes to train to be a barber
I hear in Gabby's voice the desperate heart break of someone who didn't do anything malicious but is being verbally berated as if they're a criminal by the person they love and put so much daily energy into pacifying and catering to. The way she's still caring when she says to make sure he brings his charger. Rest in peace Gabby
Yes - she reminds him to bring his charger for the phone he claims he doesn't have.
We know Brian's parents aided and abeted Brian after the fact and they have to know where he is or at least have an idea. I just hope they come clean and if they don't I sincerely hope they are charged for their crime of helping him cover his tracks. I can't imagine being a mother and knowing my son killed his fiance and hiding him from the police and FBI. It's simply disgusting. Thank you for putting this together and skipping over the misinformation that has been out there. I am hoping that now more attention has been brought to the inequality in terms of attention and man power used investigate the disappearances of marginalized groups a change can start to happen. I'm doubtful but still hopeful. I live in Canada and the number of indigenous women and girls as well as men who go missing is staggering. Hopefully Gabby's death shining a light on this issue can create an actual change in how things are done. The wolrd looked for Gabby but nobody lifts a finger for indigenous women and girls who go missing every day.
Every news outlet referred to Gabby as "this young girl". Ugh!
Would they refer to Brian as "this young boy"? He'll no!
Prejudice against women persists.
...but she was young
@@taylorrosew she was an adult woman… a young ADULT yes but not a girl, that’s a child and demeaning
@@brittalex7024 you know what else is demeaning? Being murdered
“I know it’s “innocent until proven guilty”…. Yeah, but we ain’t lawyers, we ain’t a court, we ain’t a judge. We’re a population of feeling humans who see something sus as hell and can point it out. He’s guilty IMO, and I think to much of the world…
I completely agree, you'd fight to find out what's happened to the person you love, not run away & especially not showing up for her funeral. It speaks volumes, even if he refuse to.
I’ve probably watched over 100 videos on this case by now… only you & one other creator passionately drew attention to the HUGE red flags of DV in this relationship (& red flags from narcs/abusers in general). Idk if you’ll see this, but I thank you from the bottom of my heart for shedding light & bringing awareness. When I read the comments on the body cam footage from men & women saying things like “he wouldn’t hurt a fly” when it was first released, I was nauseous. It is scary how many people don’t recognize the signs & that is why there is such a stigma around SA & DV. Having gone through a horrible DV situation when I was younger & having people blame ME or not believe me was almost emotionally harder than enduring the abuse. I cried when you spoke about it because it tapped into some long buried trauma. I’m so grateful to have gotten out & to be alive. I only wish Gabby had the same opportunity. I also hope that anyone reading this takes your advice & speaks to someone they trust. To anyone reading this who may be going through this or may not be sure if you’re in an abusive relationship- I BEG you not to ignore or justify the red flags/signs. You are NOT crazy. Do not ignore your intuition. I did all of those things & almost didn’t make it. So if nobody has told you - YOU are worth it & your soulmate will NOT abuse you!! Mentally, emotionally or physically. The person you are meant to be with will not make you question your sanity nor your self worth ❤️ Stay safe out there ❤️
The police labels Gabby with his ex wifes behavier, based on his experience with that in my opinion. Maybe this situation with Gabby triggers something in him. Better education in DV for the police is necessary. Brian get more fuel that his behavier is okay , in my opinion. Oh , I can't see both sides here 😅. The police messed up in my opinion.
@@sherikrupp He said so himself.
They did mess up! The Utah laws also seem v sketchy. They have to define 1 person as the physical aggressor? They had eye witness accounts of Brian’s physical assault, yet SHE was the aggressor? It was really hard to watch Gabby being systematically undermined, by every other person there. I sincerely hope they find this POS & Gabby & her family see some justice done. Sadly, nothing can bring her back. Just heartbreaking.
Excellent!! The cop-stop in Moab is so upsetting - blaming her, fist-bumping with brian, calling her crazy - omg. You explained it very well - thank you
Gabby is taking the blame and being so apologetic it is heartbreaking - that is the sign of a person who is the victim of a bully. I cannot understand why the police did not actually recognise they needed to intervene and HELP! Not just for the night before allowing the abuser to reunite with the victim when obviously he would be more angry. I understand this as I also have experienced things and I have never had any emotional support. So it is just all locked up. I am so sorry for Gabby.
i never understood how some people were trying to defend brian locking gabbie out because she needed to be calm… like wtf would you lock your spouse outside of your apartment or hotel because they “needed to calm down?” clear manipulation and cruelty especially considering they were in the middle of nowhere and he was threatening to leave her with all of her stuff. i think he tried to take her phone and she was trying to get it back from him hence when he was asked about the scratches he kept saying “her phone was in her hand”
Agreed. People forget that if they really needed a breather, that Brian could've taken it and walk away for a bit. Not force Gabby to by LOCKING HER OUT OF HER HOME. People need to stop defending him.
Yeah, no. The correct thing would be to remove YOURSELF from the situation, not lock your SO out of their car/home. If Brian actually cared about deescalating the conflict, he should’ve gotten himself out and walked to a safe place to give Gabby the space she needed.
It was never about giving her space to cool off, it was about control.
@@swimmyswim417 & he professed to love hiking - just wanted to sit on his duff!
Abusers will insist on acting normal so as to throw people off. But they hold your hand or shoulder to subtly establish a physical warning only you are aware of even in front of others. A sharp grasp or tense grip goes unnoticed by others but not you. Abusers drive you to an emotional breakdown and then act calm in front of others to further alienate you, or insist on being the picture of loving and you want so badly to think this is some kind of reconciliation. Maybe things will change. But it’s never going to.
OMG just seeing her on the police bodycam footage you can tell what a sweetheart she is. You just wanna give her a hug. T_T
Rest in peace, Gabby
Thank you so much for breaking down why the officers saying “is he usually patient with you” is problematic, I felt so bad for her in that moment.
I get the sense that Brian's posts were actually digs and devaluing of Gabby. I think there is a photo of Gabby wearing an apple watch for example and he speaks ill of this ...🤷