This video does not have enough views nor likes. I think these are the people who give the best human understanding of this issue, not minimizing, not demonizing. Realistic and optimistic. And very approachable and available.
Glad you enjoyed it! For more related content and helpful advice from our therapists, subscribe to our RUclips channel, or sign up for our mailing list to be notified of new content! www.marriagerecoverycenter.com/mailing-list
Great information. Narcissists are not always husbands; some of them are wives. My Mother was a Narcissist and was extremely abusive to my Father and did her best to damage his relationship with his children, his parents, his brother, etc.
We love hearing stories of hope and changed lives! Thank you for sharing and for your kind words. It is what keeps us motivated to continue to do what we do.
I can attest. We became born again Christians during a discard / then Lovebomb phase (I didnt know this at the time) Only learned about narcissm in March 2023 And not even the Holy Spirit could convict him 12 years later It's like living in hell
From experience. It’s very dangerous to reconcile with them. They don’t change for the better. they become worse with age. Escape. Your life depends upon it. No exaggeration. Very sad but true. I survived it and only by God’s intervention.
I thank God for your wisdom and truth. And for not fluffing up a real danger with the word of God , but rather dealing with it raw and real with God as the overseer, not the escape goat! This is what the church is missing for people that are living in this and prayer and conferences aren’t working. Bless you sir!❤️😊
Thanks for your feedback and glad you found it helpful! For more related content, subscribe to our channel or sign up for our newsletter to get helpful tips and advice delivered directly to your Inbox: marriagerecoverycenter.com/mailing-list/
I feel like a total dummy. Let me explain…. I have been with my husband for 9 years. Not till the last three years have I opened my eyes and started wondering why I have been created the way I have. The verbal abuse, name calling in front if my children . The one sided selfishness when decisions are made, the cheating on me since day one. Ignoring me. The lies. The expectations with zero given. The DISRESPECT beyond anything I could ever explain! The confusion the blame. Total domination over me! Yes I’m new to realizing what has been going on. But now that my eyes are open I see I need out! Yet he won’t let me work. I have no money. Two children and no family. I don’t know what my next step is but I know I need to put one foot in front if the other. So I’m starting these videos in hopes I will find my courage.
Recognizing what is happening is step one, and you're already there. Keep learning about how to create emotional safety, set boundaries and heal. We have many videos on our channel that talk about these things, this is just one of them: ruclips.net/video/O0Q_In9nKKI/видео.html
My mom is the one that has these traits and my fiancé mom does too. We both have issues with our mom. I am the scapegoat of mine, but my fiancé is an only child. I didn’t get the closeness with my dad because of my mom. Now that I am older I am trying to get closer to my dad.
I have a lot of respect for this challenge. As I believe it is possible to repair but that narc has to want it and that is not common. So how do you get them to want to repair themselves?
Glad you found it helpful. For more related content, subscribe to our channel or sign up for our newsletter to get helpful tips and advice delivered directly to your Inbox: marriagerecoverycenter.com/mailing-list/
@@drdavidbhawkins thank you, I have subscribed to this channel but when I tried to add myself to the mailing list, a notice came up saying “this mailing list is not active”.🤷🏻♀️
You're so welcome! If you found this helpful and would like access to more related content and helpful advice from our therapists, subscribe to our RUclips channel, or visit our blog at marriagerecoverycenter.com/blog/
Great, as always!! Always encouraging, hopeful!! Wondering how to approach a woman from an African country so fragile with insecurity and fear, with some of these destructive traits, who is in denial about them. Great at blame-shifting, denying, etc. Not believing truthful things, and twisting and distorting things WAY OUT OF PROPORTION!! (UNHEALTHY PERCEPTIONS) How do you approach for a GENTLE, LOVING intervention???
First, keep in mind that not everyone who exhibits narcissistic traits is a narcissist. We all exhibit some of these traits at one time or another, the thing to ask yourself is how deeply entrenched and pervasive are the traits? That said, if you would like information on communicating your feelings and needs effectively, please reach out to our Client Care Team and ask for our free eBook "Love Life of Your Dreams." Call us at (206) 219-0145 or email info@marriagerecoverycenter.com
Perfect description of my life😥😓😢. We are separated for 7 months; still praying for a breakdown which will hopefully trigger a breakthrough. Why would he want to reconcile when there are so many grade A supply around, I ask
Separation if not used for the purpose of healing and recovery doesn't just automatically lead to a breakdown or breakthrough. The time apart needs to be used for individual healing that will lay a foundation for eventual reconciliation. Here is a blog that goes more in depth: marriagerecoverycenter.com/separation-for-reflection-and-growth/
@@daniellatan9016 Yeah, I'm in a situation right now where I feel like separation seems the only way to send the message that something's going on but I fear that it might only make things worse. Don't you think your husband would like to rescue your relationship? Maybe you can think about how you can make your family attractive to him again, so he might want to try something. Why don't you make an appointment with these people to help you make a plan. I'll pray for your family Daniella!
your content helpfull to me . thank you very much . where can i find your books ? Im from germany . is it possible to purchase them here? thanks again . im happy i found your videos
Dr. Hawkins' books are available on Amazon. Please reach out to us at info@marriagerecoverycenter.com if you would like to learn more about our services.
Do you think it's becoming more common coming from females towards their spouse on today's age? Some of us are more prone to these situations with our upbringing, personality and early childhood development or its disruption. Thanks for these resources! 🙏
I've had an awesome 30-year marriage to a kind, compassionate Christian husband and great father to our three boys... until the last 2 years,and suddenly I have a covert narcissistist. This came after the death of his abusive Father. I am left with 14 autoimmune diseases according to UCLA medical center. Since this is a complete 180 could this be a medical issue?
Mine fakes the “attachment” feeling towards me. Totally fake .. we went once for therapy .. he discarded me afterwards but was so put together while we were in the session.. he fakes everything. Totally deceiving. Ge does not care if he loses me.. he cant come to the point to admitting fault ..
The physical symtomology due to onset stress related issues is real or the somatization of repressed emotions because the women helps hide the real to glorify the persona or mask the abuser puts on repeating the same pattern they experienced in childhood to protect their parents image maybe even the entire family. When it's a survival tactics and you come from truama as a part of your culture its inevitable yet so poorly addresses with the stigma placed on mental illness and the marginalization that creates resources and education for minorities
They are not able to get help. That's why they can't show any empathy and have no boundaries. If they could change then they would feel convicted when they ate cheating.
Doc, please include both genders when addressing the abuser ? I have been living a horror show at the hands of my wife of 32 years. Thank you. The abuse started 5 years ago. She got off of 10-15 years of abusing rx meds, and went straight to the medical marijuana. That's when all hell broke loose.
Thanks for your feedback Stephanie. We completely understand and using gender neutral (or inclusive) language is something we are trying to be more consistent about.
@@crozbdawg hello Chris I think it’s because more women seek out help when their marriage is falling apart. Men just deal with situations and perhaps suffer in silence at times. It’s really sad too and I’m glad that there are men here on this site that are clearly seeking help and guidance. I have family members who have been abused by females and it’s devastating to watch. Many times the females turn things around and portray their partner as the abuser and they get a lot of sympathy.
Please if I could make a suggestion, It may have been a male trait back in the day, in this day and age Women are just as guilty of this abuse as Male counterparts. My wife is a Pure bread Covert due to her Family background. Her father was Narc and her Mother was also a Covert Narc. Where if you didn't side with her outlook she would give you this look and that look meant you are going to pay for going against me. I always ask my wife when difficult situations came up, I saw my wife never took a stand for her opinion when it came-to her parents, and I used to say to my wife after seeing a pattern the only reason you turn the other way I called it putting on horse blinders cause she knew if she said something to her mother or father would have disowned or ghosted her with not speaking to her if she spoke her mind or her opinion . When she confronted her dad it was a totally different matter he wouldn't listen even if you were right in what you were saying but he would just blow up instead of taking about what was bothering you he would slam doors swear at everyone run away from the conversation and this was a ongoing pattern that's why my wife is so traumatized and acts in a Narc matter cause this is what she was taut this behavior when she was a young child.
Thanks for your feedback. It's a valid point and in our more recent videos we try to use more gender neutral language, but given that Dr. Hawkins happens to specialize in working primarily with men all day long, he tends to fall back on that pronoun but in no way does it mean he believes all abuse is perpetrated by males as we all know that is not true.
Yeah I get it can be a oopsie but a lot of men are abused, then become abusers. We need other men to defend men! Do deep dives, make them about 30 minutes long, and address the elephant in the damn room! The incel apocalypse is coming for many reasons you already know. **Men are made rank in file to be abusers as we are not allowed to properly process, and empathize with, emotions. ** We men mostly bear the brunt of the shit storms around us with out much help at all, then we are expected not to turn out like monsters? Doctor the elephant in the room is WAY TO MANY young men have been programmed to be this way, and few even realize how much young men and men in general suffer major physical and emotional abuse and have few good folk that advocate a balanced and healthy attitude. It’s like Andrew tate (shit burger) or it’s your a man so therefore your an abuser, in vast swaths of our culture. Good men get turned into shitburgers when they have no one speaking for them but bigots and talking heads. It’s appalling to me as a man that so many people of this age just don’t see how the good people are funneled into extremist pipelines. Good men, men who hate this shit (often men with narc dads) see the cat 5 shit storm they bring where ever they go. And how those good men are manipulated in a media funded, and in efficient pipeline manner get funneled into more dumb ever more primitive niches so it makes it even EASIER to divide and conquer. Sir, our world is simply put; rapacious and violent, with little mercy and less willingness to even talk about the immense amount of suffering men feel. Yes women have way way to much shit, but think about all of the men that suffer so much worse and say nothing. Then there is this shock when young men who can’t control or have support in these issues are just expected to “fix it” somehow. Narc abuse is Narc abuse no matter who is the gender doing it. Yes men tend to manifest GRANDIOSE narcissistic tendencies, how ever it is the cover narc that is rarely spoken of, and even harder to fully quantify. So yes more men are “reported” to be narcs then women but women have there own special brand of crazy and ignoring the need for men to get much needed emergency trauma treatment. Seriously doc this needs to be subsidized by the gov as a health emergency. Why do you think the most dangerous thing to a young man is himself? It’s not a moral failing or some other lazy attributions. It’s a damn tidal wave of pain heading right at us and we need to validate, commiserate, and heal if we want to have any hope of triage.
Great job of maintaining the guy is a bad man stigma. No wonder why our local police will allways take the guy to jail. No matter of the facts. In as much this provides validation to bipolar and borderline personality disorder to women looking fore validation. Thanks to content like this men suffer Stockholm syndrome as well as other physical and mental problems. And end up finding the truth in a VA Hospital psyche ward. No thanks for your disservice.
This video does not have enough views nor likes. I think these are the people who give the best human understanding of this issue, not minimizing, not demonizing. Realistic and optimistic. And very approachable and available.
Glad you enjoyed it! For more related content and helpful advice from our therapists, subscribe to our RUclips channel, or sign up for our mailing list to be notified of new content! www.marriagerecoverycenter.com/mailing-list
Great information. Narcissists are not always husbands; some of them are wives. My Mother was a Narcissist and was extremely abusive to my Father and did her best to damage his relationship with his children, his parents, his brother, etc.
Thank you for your work - your free content saved my life and that of my six children, and preserved our faith. Thank you.
We love hearing stories of hope and changed lives! Thank you for sharing and for your kind words. It is what keeps us motivated to continue to do what we do.
Me too.
You’ve never lived & suffered under one. They’re beyond help.
you are right.
I can attest. We became born again Christians during a discard / then Lovebomb phase (I didnt know this at the time)
Only learned about narcissm in March 2023
And not even the
Holy Spirit could convict him 12 years later
It's like living in hell
From experience. It’s very dangerous to reconcile with them. They don’t change for the better. they become worse with age. Escape. Your life depends upon it. No exaggeration. Very sad but true. I survived it and only by God’s intervention.
I thank God for your wisdom and truth. And for not fluffing up a real danger with the word of God , but rather dealing with it raw and real with God as the overseer, not the escape goat! This is what the church is missing for people that are living in this and prayer and conferences aren’t working.
Bless you sir!❤️😊
Thanks for your feedback and glad you found it helpful! For more related content, subscribe to our channel or sign up for our newsletter to get helpful tips and advice delivered directly to your Inbox: marriagerecoverycenter.com/mailing-list/
I like how you are reading off paper notes. It feels real. You have a really nice pacing in your body language tone and word usage 😊
I feel like a total dummy. Let me explain….
I have been with my husband for 9 years. Not till the last three years have I opened my eyes and started wondering why I have been created the way I have. The verbal abuse, name calling in front if my children . The one sided selfishness when decisions are made, the cheating on me since day one. Ignoring me. The lies. The expectations with zero given. The DISRESPECT beyond anything I could ever explain! The confusion the blame. Total domination over me! Yes I’m new to realizing what has been going on. But now that my eyes are open I see I need out! Yet he won’t let me work. I have no money. Two children and no family. I don’t know what my next step is but I know I need to put one foot in front if the other. So I’m starting these videos in hopes I will find my courage.
Recognizing what is happening is step one, and you're already there. Keep learning about how to create emotional safety, set boundaries and heal. We have many videos on our channel that talk about these things, this is just one of them: ruclips.net/video/O0Q_In9nKKI/видео.html
Great video BTW 💜 I love a perspective that actually feeds hope of healing. WILL is all the spirit needs to do it's work
Nice video formating. This feels vary comfortable. Great work 😊
I can't believe RUclips big not show me this sooner. Better late then never. Thx RUclips 😊
Glad you found us and hope you find our content helpful!
My mom is the one that has these traits and my fiancé mom does too. We both have issues with our mom. I am the scapegoat of mine, but my fiancé is an only child. I didn’t get the closeness with my dad because of my mom. Now that I am older I am trying to get closer to my dad.
I have a lot of respect for this challenge. As I believe it is possible to repair but that narc has to want it and that is not common. So how do you get them to want to repair themselves?
THIS
Thank you.
You're welcome! Hope you found it helpful
This is excellent
Glad you found it helpful. For more related content, subscribe to our channel or sign up for our newsletter to get helpful tips and advice delivered directly to your Inbox: marriagerecoverycenter.com/mailing-list/
@@drdavidbhawkins thank you, I have subscribed to this channel but when I tried to add myself to the mailing list, a notice came up saying “this mailing list is not active”.🤷🏻♀️
thank you, for balanced approach for both parties
You're so welcome! If you found this helpful and would like access to more related content and helpful advice from our therapists, subscribe to our RUclips channel, or visit our blog at marriagerecoverycenter.com/blog/
Thank you. So good 🙏
Glad you found it helpful! You can watch the rest of the series here: ruclips.net/p/PLzb_gedZa6y5qbJBvet9KSrunLXF7XneK
@@drdavidbhawkins I have watched so many in the last few days. 😊
Great, as always!! Always encouraging, hopeful!! Wondering how to approach a woman from an African country so fragile with insecurity and fear, with some of these destructive traits, who is in denial about them. Great at blame-shifting, denying, etc. Not believing truthful things, and twisting and distorting things WAY OUT OF PROPORTION!! (UNHEALTHY PERCEPTIONS) How do you approach for a GENTLE, LOVING intervention???
First, keep in mind that not everyone who exhibits narcissistic traits is a narcissist. We all exhibit some of these traits at one time or another, the thing to ask yourself is how deeply entrenched and pervasive are the traits? That said, if you would like information on communicating your feelings and needs effectively, please reach out to our Client Care Team and ask for our free eBook "Love Life of Your Dreams." Call us at (206) 219-0145 or email info@marriagerecoverycenter.com
Definitely an epidemic 😢
Thank you 🙏
Perfect description of my life😥😓😢. We are separated for 7 months; still praying for a breakdown which will hopefully trigger a breakthrough. Why would he want to reconcile when there are so many grade A supply around, I ask
Separation if not used for the purpose of healing and recovery doesn't just automatically lead to a breakdown or breakthrough. The time apart needs to be used for individual healing that will lay a foundation for eventual reconciliation. Here is a blog that goes more in depth: marriagerecoverycenter.com/separation-for-reflection-and-growth/
@@drdavidbhawkins thanks for this! Unfortunately my narcissistic husband does not see anything wrong with himself so he will not do the work
@@daniellatan9016 Yeah, I'm in a situation right now where I feel like separation seems the only way to send the message that something's going on but I fear that it might only make things worse. Don't you think your husband would like to rescue your relationship? Maybe you can think about how you can make your family attractive to him again, so he might want to try something. Why don't you make an appointment with these people to help you make a plan. I'll pray for your family Daniella!
your content helpfull to me . thank you very much . where can i find your books ? Im from germany . is it possible to purchase them here? thanks again . im happy i found your videos
Dr. Hawkins' books are available on Amazon. Please reach out to us at info@marriagerecoverycenter.com if you would like to learn more about our services.
Where is the link to this video serious? I would love to watch the whole thing. Not just the bits and pieces I keep finding on RUclips 😊
Do you think it's becoming more common coming from females towards their spouse on today's age? Some of us are more prone to these situations with our upbringing, personality and early childhood development or its disruption. Thanks for these resources! 🙏
I've had an awesome 30-year marriage to a kind, compassionate Christian husband and great father to our three boys... until the last 2 years,and suddenly I have a covert narcissistist. This came after the death of his abusive Father.
I am left with 14 autoimmune diseases according to UCLA medical center. Since this is a complete 180 could this be a medical issue?
You can make them feel you hurt they just enhance it
Is there a place in south africa where I can go for trauma healing?
Mine fakes the “attachment” feeling towards me. Totally fake .. we went once for therapy .. he discarded me afterwards but was so put together while we were in the session.. he fakes everything. Totally deceiving. Ge does not care if he loses me.. he cant come to the point to admitting fault ..
Yes
The physical symtomology due to onset stress related issues is real or the somatization of repressed emotions because the women helps hide the real to glorify the persona or mask the abuser puts on repeating the same pattern they experienced in childhood to protect their parents image maybe even the entire family. When it's a survival tactics and you come from truama as a part of your culture its inevitable yet so poorly addresses with the stigma placed on mental illness and the marginalization that creates resources and education for minorities
They are not able to get help. That's why they can't show any empathy and have no boundaries. If they could change then they would feel convicted when they ate cheating.
The real question is, can we prosecute these people if we can prove major harm?
Doc, please include both genders when addressing the abuser ? I have been living a horror show at the hands of my wife of 32 years. Thank you.
The abuse started 5 years ago. She got off of 10-15 years of abusing rx meds, and went straight to the medical marijuana. That's when all hell broke loose.
Thanks for your feedback Stephanie. We completely understand and using gender neutral (or inclusive) language is something we are trying to be more consistent about.
@@drdavidbhawkins my name is Tony , not stephanie
I was going to make the same comment! Wife of 27 years fits into the narcissistic profile.
Why everything focused on helping women? I was gonna reach out for help. But it seems like everything is focused on men being the perpetrator.
@@crozbdawg hello Chris I think it’s because more women seek out help when their marriage is falling apart. Men just deal with situations and perhaps suffer in silence at times. It’s really sad too and I’m glad that there are men here on this site that are clearly seeking help and guidance. I have family members who have been abused by females and it’s devastating to watch. Many times the females turn things around and portray their partner as the abuser and they get a lot of sympathy.
Please if I could make a suggestion, It may have been a male trait back in the day, in this day and age Women are just as guilty of this abuse as Male counterparts. My wife is a Pure bread Covert due to her Family background. Her father was Narc and her Mother was also a Covert Narc. Where if you didn't side with her outlook she would give you this look and that look meant you are going to pay for going against me. I always ask my wife when difficult situations came up, I saw my wife never took a stand for her opinion when it came-to her parents, and I used to say to my wife after seeing a pattern the only reason you turn the other way I called it putting on horse blinders cause she knew if she said something to her mother or father would have disowned or ghosted her with not speaking to her if she spoke her mind or her opinion . When she confronted her dad it was a totally different matter he wouldn't listen even if you were right in what you were saying but he would just blow up instead of taking about what was bothering you he would slam doors swear at everyone run away from the conversation and this was a ongoing pattern that's why my wife is so traumatized and acts in a Narc matter cause this is what she was taut this behavior when she was a young child.
Why are husbands blamed in this video
Why do you only talk about men! This is unjust!
Thanks for your feedback. It's a valid point and in our more recent videos we try to use more gender neutral language, but given that Dr. Hawkins happens to specialize in working primarily with men all day long, he tends to fall back on that pronoun but in no way does it mean he believes all abuse is perpetrated by males as we all know that is not true.
Yeah I get it can be a oopsie but a lot of men are abused, then become abusers. We need other men to defend men! Do deep dives, make them about 30 minutes long, and address the elephant in the damn room! The incel apocalypse is coming for many reasons you already know.
**Men are made rank in file to be abusers as we are not allowed to properly process, and empathize with, emotions. **
We men mostly bear the brunt of the shit storms around us with out much help at all, then we are expected not to turn out like monsters? Doctor the elephant in the room is WAY TO MANY young men have been programmed to be this way, and few even realize how much young men and men in general suffer major physical and emotional abuse and have few good folk that advocate a balanced and healthy attitude.
It’s like Andrew tate (shit burger) or it’s your a man so therefore your an abuser, in vast swaths of our culture. Good men get turned into shitburgers when they have no one speaking for them but bigots and talking heads. It’s appalling to me as a man that so many people of this age just don’t see how the good people are funneled into extremist pipelines. Good men, men who hate this shit (often men with narc dads) see the cat 5 shit storm they bring where ever they go. And how those good men are manipulated in a media funded, and in efficient pipeline manner get funneled into more dumb ever more primitive niches so it makes it even EASIER to divide and conquer.
Sir, our world is simply put; rapacious and violent, with little mercy and less willingness to even talk about the immense amount of suffering men feel. Yes women have way way to much shit, but think about all of the men that suffer so much worse and say nothing.
Then there is this shock when young men who can’t control or have support in these issues are just expected to “fix it” somehow.
Narc abuse is Narc abuse no matter who is the gender doing it. Yes men tend to manifest GRANDIOSE narcissistic tendencies, how ever it is the cover narc that is rarely spoken of, and even harder to fully quantify. So yes more men are “reported” to be narcs then women but women have there own special brand of crazy and ignoring the need for men to get much needed emergency trauma treatment. Seriously doc this needs to be subsidized by the gov as a health emergency. Why do you think the most dangerous thing to a young man is himself? It’s not a moral failing or some other lazy attributions. It’s a damn tidal wave of pain heading right at us and we need to validate, commiserate, and heal if we want to have any hope of triage.
Great job of maintaining the guy is a bad man stigma. No wonder why our local police will allways take the guy to jail. No matter of the facts. In as much this provides validation to bipolar and borderline personality disorder to women looking fore validation.
Thanks to content like this men suffer Stockholm syndrome as well as other physical and mental problems. And end up finding the truth in a VA Hospital psyche ward.
No thanks for your disservice.
Thanks for your feedback!
I think you are the most clear and helpful person for discussing this to clear away any confusion for anyone. Thank you. 🤍
Glad you found it helpful, thanks for your feedback