I think one of the hardest things about INFJ is making a living. So many jobs depend on popularity and speed, which feels unsustainable for the slow, loner INFJ.
😢will you believe me if i said that since i graduate I'm still lost and don't know what should i work in and other people around me will never understand how i feel 😢 I'm trying to reach out to my people _Infjs_ hope i find a sense of belonging here or there.
I agree :) when I think back to some of my loneliest moments they were nearly always when I was in company. Love the Charles bukowski poem ‘genius of the crowd ’ (I think it’s called) for that reason
1. INFJs love to help people 2. INFJs have knowledge on many topics 3. INFJs are quietly opinionated 4. INFJs have a strange sense of humor 5 INFJs can fit in with just about anyone and converse about almost anything 6. People think INFJs are lazy because we do “nothing” 7. INFJs can pickup on everything in social interactions 8. INFJs are weird being closed doors 9. INFJs are clumsy 10. INFJ life can be lonely
INFJs can lead great lives. I'm this way, and so is my wife! I don't give advice though, it can be tempting but it just never seems to be recieved the right way. I'm definately opinionated, but if people don't "get it", I don't care. After all, what have I lost? Avoiding pointless relationships and the general time wasting of average folks if a big strength of INFJs.
I laughed out loud when you said "Hey, that doing nothing you're talking about, that's called "thinking"." When people have said in the past that I think too much, I always say, no, the problem is that everyone else in the world does not think enough 😂
46 an raised "navy brat"by 2 narcissistic parents,shamed my whole life . THEY NEVER BROKE MY SPIRIT! I FEEL BLESSED I FINALLY HAVE A INFJ TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO MYSELF. I lead wit my heart an good intentions,if OTHERZ dont see me. Its not my problem anymore. Appreciate you
Thank you Jessica. I appreciate you too. I'm sorry for your troubled past. Congrats on not letting them break you! Thanks for the great comment and keep leading with your heart! Jay
Yeah, I agree it can be discouraging. It's hard to keep giving people chances when they keep hurting you over over. Remember, if they don't like our INFJ tendencies we just need to let them go. They don't deserve our effort and energy (because we would certainly give it to them). Thanks for the great comment Paula. Jay
I hate it when they just briefly think about something and r then convinced to be capable of informing me of their superficial solution, while i was thinking for weeks about whatever they thought to be capable of lecturing me.
My daughter is 5 and she is just now finding out about that joke line. She's ESFJ... she asked me the other day when I was picking on her "mommy... you're joking aren't you?" I laughed bc she got my sense of humor. It's only happened once but I will treasure it.
Many times I've thought I'd made a new friend....NOT! I have one good friend but will not let others in, I know, sad but true. Just got tired of getting hurt.
I have decided that at my age (70s)I am a Watcher and Listener above all else, resisting the temptation to try to help in some way. I’ve been through a lifetime from toddlerhood on hearing,”What’s wrong with Annie?” beginning with my mother, who needed me to be a supreme extrovert hell bent on fame, power,and material treasurers. I was raised to think of my natural tendencies as an illness and lethargy. Oh, if they only could have read the thoughts going through my mind. Thank you so much for the help of reframing.
You are welcome Ult. The pain of the world is still there, but knowing that your tendencies aren't an "illness" does help. I grew up thinking I was very strange indeed. Glad the videos are helping you and I think you are doing the right thing - listening and considering who deserves your help and advice. Thanks for your great comments. Jay
@@INFJcircle Jay, do you secretly hope like I do that INFJs have access to a network of all others in the Collective Unconscious where we can connect and communally create healing in the world when our input is not welcome in the conscious realm?
Being excited to see that one person you had a great conversation with, only to see a timid/"Don't talk to me"-look. I get that a lot, right next to: feeling as if you are always trying to catch-up to yourself; always trying to find a better way; and warning someone that they have to do something or … is going to happen, they ignore you, the thing happens and they accuse you of being heartless for not panicking like they are ( that last one happens way too much).
Great points Thami. On the last one, yes, we are like "Hey I saw that coming a mile off and even told you about it!" It's hard to freak out when you already predicted the thing. Thanks so much for the comment! Jay
Everyrhing you say is describing me (and all of you other INFJ:s out there) to the point. This is exactly how I am. I have felt so damn alone and sad and misunderstood. I could not understand why people got angry with me when all I did was seeing their problem and solving it for them. They didn't want that and for the last 5 years or so I have intentionally stopped myself from helping and have been quiet in coversations so I don't overshine others. It's not what I really want, but it is easier this way. Still very alone though, since acting like that is, acting, and not the weird me that I actually am.
I relate to this so much. Remember, you are a unique person, and those people who don't want to better themselves and listen are not worth your time (and help) anyway. Stay strong and wait for someone who really deserves/desires your help, you will be ready if that person shows up. Keep being an INFJ, and keep your head up! Thanks for the great comment! Jay
I don’t take me seriously at all. I mean, there are times when I want people to take me seriously if it’s about me opening up about my feelings or whatever, but most of the time I’m pretty chill and easygoing. More people should live life like that. 😄
Great point Verena, we get overwhelmed easily in those kind of situations for sure. Nothing wrong with that - we just have to plan ahead for the exhaustion! thanks for the comment! Jay
3:39 (or thereabouts): YES! Not that I have a problem with what went on before, but wow! People start thinking I'm making up things, stalking them to find out what their interests are and then studying them just to appear as if I am interested in them too and all sorts of things. Sometimes, they start testing me - without announcing it- and then turn to someone else and say "I see what you mean. She does have something to say on eveyr subject." and then tell me that no one does that naturally. RUDE! When I was a kid, sometimes people would visit our home and then get all bristly and say things like, "People in your family think they know everything." and Mom (or someone else) would say, "We don't think we know everything. We do think if we don't know it, we know how to look it up." And, they would freak out! Why is it so wrong to be interested in life and pay attention to it?
This is a fantastic comment Arletta. I relate so much to this, people simply do not think it’s possible to pick up things about them without being up to something devious. Very strange. I guess they really don’t have the ability to do this and think it’s impossible or something. One of my clients in the past said that her job is pretty much just to look things up on the computer. She actually got paid for that, people hate to look things up and they do not like to think. That’s what I found anyway. Glad you were in a family that respected research. Thanks so much for the great comment! Jay
Thank you so much for INFJ content from a real person! So much content on RUclips, especially in the self help arena, are just text to speech. INFJ's love the eye contact and seeing the sincerity in someone's face is huge for me. Also, thank you for not rehashing the same lists and for putting your own spin into things. The clumsiness thing happens to me a lot, but I've isolated it to times when I am trying to piece something together in my head that I just can't seem to get off the stove. But even on the backburner, I find myself (more recently) able to identify what is happening and do a quick mindfulness check to snap me back in. Another point I identified heavy with is our "moral code" and holding people to my own personal standards. Learning how to drop that expectation of others has changed my life dramatically for the best. While I identify with every single point you made strongly, I plan to go through your other videos for more kernels of wisdom :) That said, have you ever done content on the way our brains and thought patterns are organized in a web-like way? Often, I think of how my world around me (especially in the workplace) is like a web, and I can sense disturbances and shifts across my whole web. One unhappy face sends my mind into Perry Mason mode, trying to trace things backward to a source. Unconsciously, every time, my brain just kicks into that gear. I saw a video from another INFJ RUclipsr about this, but I would be really interested to hear your take on it! Great video and thank you!
Great comment KG. You are very welcome :) Yes, I do both kinds of videos but expect more with my face in the future! You make some great points here, including dropping expectations of people living up to our morals. I agree, relieves so much stress (although I still have to say on top of it). As for the web-like structure of our brains, I have most certainly always known this - but I just put it in my "Topics" folder in my notes. Thanks for the great idea. I'll look into producing something on this in the future. Thanks so much for the insightful comment! Jay
What a great comment. I recently made that shift as well. As INFJ's we do have layers of expectations to let go of on others and ourselves. Even though we can sense storms coming, it's better to be the calm in someone's storm the same way Jesus was when the disciples panicked. He was prepared because of how far out he can see. The storm has the ability to help blind people see for the first time in their life. We can warn people all day but very few value our advice and I found the storm does a better job of dismantling delusions. Our web is larger than most. We can see far out and it is a gift for us and others. Thankfully it isn't all on us. There is a greater plan to assist us all on our individual journeys as well. We can breathe too as sometimes we are too selfless. Especially with all the disrespect we often recieve from the judgement of others who can't see what we can. Perhaps it's better not to show all your cards. Show what is necessary but not all. As many can weaponize what you know for all the wrong reasons. Guard your power.
Spot on! People just do not want to do the work in order to improve themselves and their situations. So it's frustrating for us when people don't take our advice! Especially when you relate to the same experience. And yes, people do not get our humor! I love it! HA! People are so shocked when they talk with us on an individual basis--always completely different than they think.
You are exactly right, people are really freaked out because we are nothing like what they expected! Well, that's the way we are. lol. Thanks for the great comment! Jay
3:29 oh yes… I can match people’s energy and their personalities on command. I can talk about anything to anyone. This helps me in my nursing career a lot. I can find a way to connect with most ppl within minutes.
I just wrote in my journal, "I love my life and will never hate my life because of other ppl's behavior again. I wrote that down with conviction and then this video popped up! Thank you for these explanations, I wondered if ppl who are suppose to be experts get intimidated by my knowledge and passion. Thought it was my imagination. And the "appearing to be quiet or seemingly small, and then when you come out of your shell--ppl feel deceived perhaps? Or mad because they got comfortable with their own perception of you which was never real!
Everything you said is accurate and it is also unfortunate that it is that way. People put you in a "category" then when you change suddenly they get angry. Also, people like to be more intelligent than other people, so when you show you have a lot of knowledge they also get angry. But sometimes you find someone who does want to learn and grow, and then you can share your knowledge and put effort into that person. Sadly, there isn't a lot of these people, so tread lightly until you find out if the person you are interaction with is one of these or not. Thanks for the great comment! Jay
Wow, you know us INFJ's so well! I have never felt so understood especially when you say how our intentions with our intuition are to help but then they become angry at us for giving that help and it's probably because they want to remain at the status quo. I have felt over and over that I want people to just validate and appreciate my intuition when I share it (to help them obviously) but it's matched with an energy of animosity/opposition. Thank you so much for this channel and allowing a space for people like us to feel understood perhaps for the first time in our lives.
Great video. I actually would like to be something else more common though, rather than INFJ. I took the test 8 times over the years, and from different places, but always came out INFJ. My spouse is ISTJ, and I see how much everyone loves him instantly and wants to be his friend. I've had people tell me they admire my high standards and they like knowing that people like me exist, but that without even trying, I make them feel "less than", just by being who I am. That really does stink.
Thank you! Yeah, kind of what inspired the video. I totally see your point about being a more common type. Being an INFJ kind of does stink sometimes. It's like we are a really cool personality type, but it takes SO much work just to get through daily life. Still, I think we are a great asset to the world, they just don't give us a lot of credit for the things we do (we are way under appreciated). Thanks so much for the great comment! Jay
I've had this exact same issue in a new workplace I'm in. It has unintentionally sowed a little bit of division amongst my peer group, in that our employees gravitated toward me and my style of leadership, which is always to do everything I can to support the team. Simple concept, but as an INFJ, I'm instantly tuned in to all the subtle details and where they come from and where they lead. While I thought I was staying off the radar, they've noticed how I carry myself in my individual work and with conversations and with my unwavering consistency. It is claimed that we have perfectionist tendencies, but I think our biggest perfectionist tendency is to REMAIN CONSISTENT. That scares people, because we set a high standard and it isn't just for show. We set it and just keep going and going.
Sometimes 'Tact' to an INFJ is making yourself small for the sake of others or the moment. We also do it to allow someone to expose themselves to us so we can take their measure and collect sample data on them. It's like allowing them to sort of emotionally/ mentally exploit you by allowing them to gain a perceived dominant position over you. And then there are people, like siblings and family, who ever get to see the full version of me because it triggers narcissistic attitudes and behaviours that are so subtle and powerful that only I can notice it. So essentially, you have to exercise tact at all levels and whilst doing so, be aware of your intentions and reasons for being with these people and sacrificing who you are, for the sake of their comfort.
This happened to me as well. A friend I thought was a close one once told me that I made her feel 'less than'. Like I was an adult and she was a child with less knowledge, experience or courage. This really startled me and made me greatly upset. She said that because of that feeling she contemplated not communicating with me anymore. Afterwards she said she was not right in her attitude and would like to continue being friends. But for me it was a cut. After being a friend with a person and having been rejected I am unable to trust that person again. So we gradually became strangers. Sometimes I think I will always be relatively alone. People would come and go and I'm not sure if anyone would be able to stay.
THAT FINE LINE BETWEEN SERIOUSNESS AND BEING SILLY OMG..SoOOoOoOOooOoo oO funny, but also sucks when people don't get us. I remember having this sense of humor since i was rlly young. In first grade, i was in the school play, playing "the star of the sea," a real big-shot. Well, i was a little bit nervous having that part because my two best friends got a really tiny part, where they say jokes only during the intermission, whereas i was saying lines the whole time. I was a real big-shot, haha. Anyways, i was not that way at all in real life. Actually i acted the opposite way, but still grabbed at the opportunity. When we went to recess one day, when we got to the playground, my friends were asking what we wanted to do. I cant remember what it was, but i think i said that i wanted to choose, because "im the star of the sea" hahahaha. Actually it was just my turn to choose, because they had chosen so many of the last times, and i thought they would understand that, and by no means i was being serious. Like i said, normally i was quiet and had gone along with whatever they wanted. I was surprised they didnt laugh, actually, and hurt that they thought that was really "me." I was making a joke. Anyways, well, they ended up doing their own thing, and i started crying by myself underneath the playset. I thought that was fitting though, under the playset, for the play's "under the sea" theme, and i was definitely the "star" down there, because no one was around but me 3:03
I remember when I was an Arts and Design student and we have role play to do. We didn’t practice anything and. I just stayed all night thinking each person will do in details and instruct them what to do the next morning. Our teacher was surprised that we didn’t have any props prepared compared to other groups ahahhaah turns out ours was the mindblowing act since it’s refreshing that the members are the one that became props 🥹
Great channel! I just figured out I'm an INFJ. You are very knowledgeable and insightful on this subject. I have a better understanding and appreciation of myself now! I just thought I had ADHD)
1) because we are self-sufficient and drama-free (on the outside in the visible realm, but on the inside WOW so much is going on!) 2) because we are wholehearted and compassionate and altruistic, and the world is made better by our impact on people 3) because we can survive a pandemic easily since we have zero need for socializing 4) because we give thought to our ways, we are discerning well, we are thoughtful, wise, and we provide wise counsel to thousands of brain-scattered people who are completely hidden from themselves and are strangers to themselves
Thank you Jay for great video. Recently I took some test and figured out that I am INFJ. I was so much relief to discover that fact because all my life I thought that I am so much different than other people in my environment. Now I try to protect myself from gossiping and other nonsense things and toxic people. Especially narcissist. Don't try to give help or advice to everyone. Also finally I don't care if somebody who knows me superficial think that I am selfish. I just want to be in good and positive environment and protect myself, keep energy and nerves. Somebody who wants to really know me and be part of my life will need to make some efforts.
You are so welcome Svetlana! I think you have really got things figured out well. The part about not giving advice to everyone is golden. It's our natural tendency but since I've stopped that my life is so much simpler. Also, the part about others making effort is so true. Better to be alone than to have a terrible burden of a relationship (including narcissists) thanks so much for the great comment! Jay
The only problem, as an INFJ, I have is, people getting dumber and dumber, I am an older millenial and saw the world before when Internet, when people used to have values. I couldn't help people anymore because they have become so dumb to understand thing and above all criticizing me. I really feel sorry for Gen-Z and humanity, We know that human IQ is decline since late 2000s and it is getting harder and harder to make them see things. With all the Internet, its getting more tougher!
I feel this so much. As I replied in another comment, I tried to point out it my friend that she was on her phone too much and she got mad at me ☹️ like I’m on my phone too but only when I’m at home. I’m not gonna scroll on RUclips around other people I wanna hang with, I wanna be fully there in the moment.
@@DoofenSpyroDragon16 Yes, BTW, Women are very prone to picking up bad things and get addicted faster, and they have very less capability to understand things in complete. This smart phone addiction has hit hard women, men too, but I dont see men as slaves to their smartphones as women. I see women in the gym attached to their phones as if they are born attached to it. I know their lives are shallow because they never got time to appreciate the world around you and its people. Internet and smartphone are different things. You can still browse RUclips all day and become more educated. It depends on what you are browsing. Too bad these dumb people don't understand it.
Oh my you are reading my mail 😂😂😂. I have seen all these things in myself since I was a child. Always knew I was different but you, my friend, have helped me understand myself at the ripe old age of 72. I'm a slow learner 😅😅😅. Keep it coming. I am enjoying every minute 😁♥️
Right, so accurate. EVERYONE around me wants a Johnnie Carson quip to cause everyone to hee haw and then go on to the next clever one liner, even with a suddenly deep subject. Someone automatically believes the conversation needs to be sewn up and discarded with a 3 second joke, then onto the next subject. How do they skim life like that? And I mean all the way to the grave.
No clue how people skim life and never go deeper. They do it every day though. I have tried to just "let them be" and it works to some degree, but it still bothers me that people are like this, and that there is hardly anyone to discuss deep topics with. Jay
I feel like there's an inverse video waiting to be made: the rare/weird situations/conditions that paradoxically turn these bummers into very powerful advantages or opportunities. Thank you for a great video. I'm a fan. I'm sold. Thank you.
While I think it's important to understand your personality type, I am very careful about not letting it define me, as I am in a constant state of growth and development and labels can sometimes hinder that. Great video yet again 🙌🏾
Oh the looks I sometimes get when I tell what I conceider a joke, oh man. As for large social gatherings, they are exhausting (small gatherings don't seem to be so overloading and draining), think it is too much input all at once (That may be a simple reason). Now that I am socially overloaded I up in "lazyville" or whatever they want to call it. However it is not "lazyville" at all, it is reading time, music time, to-do list time and whatever else time that aids in the recharging for the next social sensory overload. Being INFJ is not easy and can be complicated at times however it does have its upsides too especially once you understand how those upsides can work for you and others. Feel like I wrote a small novel here and I had more to say. So much for being a quiet INFJ.
Great comment Larry. Yes, totally agree. We store up that energy for the next social overload. lol. And yes, our alone time is where we get our work done too, we are always learning and that is valuable time spent in and of itself. I agree too, INFJs have a gift, we just have to learn to use it. Thanks for the great comment! Jay
Since I hit my 40’s, I am even more INFJ than ever…. I tick every single box. It’s kind of scary, lol. Just found your channel yesterday and I am enjoying your videos immensely. Thank you. ☺️
Not a problem mate. This is a really good informative INFJ channel which is real and not some AI voice generated rubbish just dictating from a book or something. What I'd be very interested in is: Is there a correlation between your zodiac sign and your personality type or profile? Is there also a correlation with the order you are born compared to your siblings? I've found that most INFJs are first borns - especially the males. Anyway, I'm keen to hear your thoughts. Cheers! Josh.
@@INFJcircle I'd love to know how INFJs response to certain drugs can be different that others. I've found that my super intense thoughts can become even more super intense to the point of insanity when I've taken certain psychedelics etc. I don't really ever meet anyone who has the same types of experiences on drugs as I do - but in saying that, I need 3-4 local anaesthetic injections in my mouth for a filling so my body processes substances a little funny I think...😆🤩
Yes we like the edge. Great 👍 video! You’re spot on. I like me. I like my skin. I like my pjs. My home is off limits to the rest of the world. Not lonely but never want to be disturbed. 5:00pm door gets locked,
I would 💕 to marry a fellow INFJ (no pun intended 😉) and have some real-life in person INFJ friends. My (non) family shamed me for being a know-it-all when I was very young. Thanks for bringing that honourable trait to the forefront. Signed Idiot-Savant.
LOL! Yes, unfortunately we are often labeled as "know it alls" since we actually enjoy learning and know a bit about a lot of topics. Oh well. Thanks for the great comment and keep being you! Jay
I’m a new subscriber and this is the 2nd video of yours that I have watched. I like your style/format and the content here :) this video was great…. I agree that even with some drawbacks I wouldn’t change being an INFJ :)
Absolutely spot on everything your saying are all the things i deal with on a daily basis 👏🏻👏🏻 The one thing I’ve always said i wanted putting on my gravestone was Misunderstood
Did the personality test many years ago, but never knew why I was ‘different’, I have dyscalculia also, and process info a bit differently. Though I was a bit of a freak, yes clumsy and forget major things too.
Being alone and lonely are two totally different things. We ❤ our solitude. Conversations are hard with superficial people. It’s scary how you said we analyze people when we meet them. We do. We are clumsy.😂 I told my boyfriend “if I don’t have to deal with the sensory world ever again I wouldn’t.”😂
I just do not belong and gave up the fact of finding like minded because I found out I am just better alone. I like being alone. The rejection for how smart you are is real. Aka just be quiet.
I love plays on language when it comes to humor. I can't believe how slick we can be sometimes. 😅 Now sometimes I don't know if I'm ghosting others or being ghosted by others. It's hard to tell at this point and I'll allow it to be in limbo for the sake of peace and letting things go. We are such intense beings that it's such a delicate place of giving it your all and then needing space afterwards. We all need a healthy happy medium.
Yeah, I agree. It’s hard to know who’s ghosting who because I certainly don’t want to be around shallow or manipulative people and many people are that way. The play on words is something that never stops with me as well. Lol. And puns. Thanks for the great comment! Jay
Great video. Related to this a lot. Often been in a great convo then ghosted. Very interested in language and something sounding funny in relation to it. Wacky sense of humor. Quiet in public and can be wild around friends. I just thought I was nuts when I was younger. Always thought of myself as the computer, robot, alien. Good to know I'm unique not crazy. 👍
Sinceramente me sorprende este video, y los demás sobre nosotros los infj, me siento demasiado identificada, y pensaba que solo yo era así, que solo yo sobre pensaba y leía a las personas, pero más que nada creía que esos eran delirios míos, que yo era una persona mala por pre juzgar a los demás (también prejuzgo, claro que sí) pero sin embargo ahora creo que no es necesariamente que me paso juzgando y prejuzgando a las personas, sino que realmente puedo leerlas en muchos casos e intuir muchos movimientos o reacciones, por lo que siempre soy muy cuidadosa cuando conozco a alguien nuevo o cuando noto alguna diferencia en alguien que ya conozco.
I think picking up a lot of, if not all cues in social interactions rings true for me. I used to think that I wasn't able to pick those things up, but turned out I realised I was rather good at it. And it's... frustrating that at times I pick up a lot of cues that just goes against what I want or hoped. ANd it can be really painful when that happens. And oh my God, clumsy is very true too. I know people around me they don't have the tendency to be physically clumsy. Me, on the other hand, I keep dropping stuff or forgetting to flush the toilet or something. It's... more funny than stink. unless, you keep dropping a fragile expensive objects I suppose. Thankfully, I just drop nail clippers, matches, cigarettes, bag, etc.
And yes being ghosted as an INFJ for reasons such as: - The INFJ Oversharing / divulging too much too soon - The other person feeling too exposed and/or analyzed - The INFJ taking time for themselves either in conversation or at some point in the relationship and the other person making it about them not being liked anymore because they’ve unconsciously benefitted from and gotten used to the INFJs care, commitment and attention Is so common but way less talked about compared to the INFJ ghosting/doorslamming. It’s likely confusing at best and painful at worst - it’s as if the INFJ has to choose between relationship / giving in unequal measure and being their full true selves. In my experience, it took me pulling everything back for a few years to only tend to my own needs and then being really incremental, discerning, and boundaried with new relationships to attract relationships that feel aligned and become long-term and take people leaving less personally. Thanks for speaking to this dynamic we so often experience.
I think one of the hardest things about INFJ is making a living. So many jobs depend on popularity and speed, which feels unsustainable for the slow, loner INFJ.
I agree with this, there are certain jobs that fit - but it can be challenging finding one.
Jay
Very true
Yes and it causes many of other types to think of us as stupid, lazy or incompetent.
😢will you believe me if i said that since i graduate I'm still lost and don't know what should i work in and other people around me will never understand how i feel 😢 I'm trying to reach out to my people _Infjs_ hope i find a sense of belonging here or there.
@@GratefulOne I know! Its tough to make a living. And not a lot of supportive people. We support you, friend ✌🏽🌸
I prefer being alone, it’s not lonely.
I agree :) when I think back to some of my loneliest moments they were nearly always when I was in company. Love the Charles bukowski poem ‘genius of the crowd ’ (I think it’s called) for that reason
1. INFJs love to help people
2. INFJs have knowledge on many topics
3. INFJs are quietly opinionated
4. INFJs have a strange sense of humor
5 INFJs can fit in with just about anyone and converse about almost anything
6. People think INFJs are lazy because we do “nothing”
7. INFJs can pickup on everything in social interactions
8. INFJs are weird being closed doors
9. INFJs are clumsy
10. INFJ life can be lonely
INFJs can lead great lives. I'm this way, and so is my wife! I don't give advice though, it can be tempting but it just never seems to be recieved the right way. I'm definately opinionated, but if people don't "get it", I don't care. After all, what have I lost? Avoiding pointless relationships and the general time wasting of average folks if a big strength of INFJs.
Unfortunately, our generosity is often taken advantage of and our kindness misraken for weakness.
Agreed!
Jay
As an INTJ a lot of this is familiar. INFJs are rare jewels.
When you said "we live life on the edge...of the couch" I cried laughing. 🤣
This is me 100%
Me too! 😁
Ditto!
I laughed out loud when you said "Hey, that doing nothing you're talking about, that's called "thinking"."
When people have said in the past that I think too much, I always say, no, the problem is that everyone else in the world does not think enough 😂
lol! Totally agree!
46 an raised "navy brat"by 2 narcissistic parents,shamed my whole life . THEY NEVER BROKE MY SPIRIT! I FEEL BLESSED I FINALLY HAVE A INFJ TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO MYSELF. I lead wit my heart an good intentions,if OTHERZ dont see me. Its not my problem anymore. Appreciate you
Thank you Jessica. I appreciate you too. I'm sorry for your troubled past. Congrats on not letting them break you! Thanks for the great comment and keep leading with your heart!
Jay
@@prezkrk Exactly!
Jay
I'm a mil. dep. 60s 70s .. mommy munchausen , then my own service .. whew 😥 .. whada ride
ty for the share 🙂
Yeah you are really blessed 😇 1:25
feature =share 😊 1:25
👻The ghosting does not come as a surprise anymore but it is hurtful and really discourages me from wanting to make friends.
Yeah, I agree it can be discouraging. It's hard to keep giving people chances when they keep hurting you over over. Remember, if they don't like our INFJ tendencies we just need to let them go. They don't deserve our effort and energy (because we would certainly give it to them). Thanks for the great comment Paula.
Jay
I know I'm hilarious! I crack myself up all the time!
Same here! I find myself laughing at old voice memos I made from childhood. I’m glad my family always appreciated my sense of humor 😁
I hate when people think they can help us, but it comes from a patronising/superior perspective.
I hate it when they just briefly think about something and r then convinced to be capable of informing me of their superficial solution, while i was thinking for weeks about whatever they thought to be capable of lecturing me.
My daughter is 5 and she is just now finding out about that joke line. She's ESFJ... she asked me the other day when I was picking on her "mommy... you're joking aren't you?" I laughed bc she got my sense of humor. It's only happened once but I will treasure it.
Many times I've thought I'd made a new friend....NOT! I have one good friend but will not let others in, I know, sad but true. Just got tired of getting hurt.
Sigh, same here.
I have decided that at my age (70s)I am a Watcher and Listener above all else, resisting the temptation to try to help in some way. I’ve been through a lifetime from toddlerhood on hearing,”What’s wrong with Annie?” beginning with my mother, who needed me to be a supreme extrovert hell bent on fame, power,and material treasurers. I was raised to think of my natural tendencies as an illness and lethargy. Oh, if they only could have read the thoughts going through my mind. Thank you so much for the help of reframing.
You are welcome Ult. The pain of the world is still there, but knowing that your tendencies aren't an "illness" does help. I grew up thinking I was very strange indeed. Glad the videos are helping you and I think you are doing the right thing - listening and considering who deserves your help and advice. Thanks for your great comments.
Jay
@@INFJcircle Jay, do you secretly hope like I do that INFJs have access to a network of all others in the Collective Unconscious where we can connect and communally create healing in the world when our input is not welcome in the conscious realm?
I certainly hope we do! I try to put out good vibes and I hope that others do the same. I know that we want the world to heal, that's for sure.
Jay
We do have an awesome sense of humor.
Our humor is the best 😂 just trust us 🤣
The fine line 👍😊🙃
It's true! haha.
Being excited to see that one person you had a great conversation with, only to see a timid/"Don't talk to me"-look. I get that a lot, right next to: feeling as if you are always trying to catch-up to yourself; always trying to find a better way; and warning someone that they have to do something or … is going to happen, they ignore you, the thing happens and they accuse you of being heartless for not panicking like they are ( that last one happens way too much).
Yes, or you warn them, they ignore you, the thing you warned about happens, and they deny you ever warned them. I've had that happen a lot.
Great points Thami. On the last one, yes, we are like "Hey I saw that coming a mile off and even told you about it!" It's hard to freak out when you already predicted the thing. Thanks so much for the comment!
Jay
Everyrhing you say is describing me (and all of you other INFJ:s out there) to the point. This is exactly how I am. I have felt so damn alone and sad and misunderstood. I could not understand why people got angry with me when all I did was seeing their problem and solving it for them. They didn't want that and for the last 5 years or so I have intentionally stopped myself from helping and have been quiet in coversations so I don't overshine others. It's not what I really want, but it is easier this way. Still very alone though, since acting like that is, acting, and not the weird me that I actually am.
I relate to this so much. Remember, you are a unique person, and those people who don't want to better themselves and listen are not worth your time (and help) anyway. Stay strong and wait for someone who really deserves/desires your help, you will be ready if that person shows up. Keep being an INFJ, and keep your head up! Thanks for the great comment!
Jay
This is the first channel I found that makes me feel like I'm cool for being an INFJ. Thank you! :)
I agree we love that fine line between serious and joking. It’s such a great place.
Yes! That line is where all the real humor happens. Lol. Thanks for the comment!
Jay
SOOOOO many people take themselves WAY too seriously!
@@buckleymordecai9605 Agreed!
I don’t take me seriously at all. I mean, there are times when I want people to take me seriously if it’s about me opening up about my feelings or whatever, but most of the time I’m pretty chill and easygoing. More people should live life like that. 😄
Yes people think I am lazy 😢but I just don't have so much energy them others and I am easyly overhelmed with to much noise social ect
Great point Verena, we get overwhelmed easily in those kind of situations for sure. Nothing wrong with that - we just have to plan ahead for the exhaustion! thanks for the comment!
Jay
That's why I love the term "social hangover," makes the whole thing clear in a nutshell ;-)
I finally know why I am so clumsy.
Me too Penny. I've knocked about 6 things onto the floor just today. Lol. Thanks for the comment!
Jay
3:39 (or thereabouts): YES! Not that I have a problem with what went on before, but wow! People start thinking I'm making up things, stalking them to find out what their interests are and then studying them just to appear as if I am interested in them too and all sorts of things. Sometimes, they start testing me - without announcing it- and then turn to someone else and say "I see what you mean. She does have something to say on eveyr subject." and then tell me that no one does that naturally. RUDE! When I was a kid, sometimes people would visit our home and then get all bristly and say things like, "People in your family think they know everything." and Mom (or someone else) would say, "We don't think we know everything. We do think if we don't know it, we know how to look it up." And, they would freak out! Why is it so wrong to be interested in life and pay attention to it?
This is a fantastic comment Arletta. I relate so much to this, people simply do not think it’s possible to pick up things about them without being up to something devious. Very strange. I guess they really don’t have the ability to do this and think it’s impossible or something. One of my clients in the past said that her job is pretty much just to look things up on the computer. She actually got paid for that, people hate to look things up and they do not like to think. That’s what I found anyway. Glad you were in a family that respected research. Thanks so much for the great comment!
Jay
Hurrah for your mom!
Why? How? You know EVERYTHING about my life!!!! 😮 I feel seen and understood completely ❤
Thank you so much for INFJ content from a real person! So much content on RUclips, especially in the self help arena, are just text to speech. INFJ's love the eye contact and seeing the sincerity in someone's face is huge for me. Also, thank you for not rehashing the same lists and for putting your own spin into things. The clumsiness thing happens to me a lot, but I've isolated it to times when I am trying to piece something together in my head that I just can't seem to get off the stove. But even on the backburner, I find myself (more recently) able to identify what is happening and do a quick mindfulness check to snap me back in. Another point I identified heavy with is our "moral code" and holding people to my own personal standards. Learning how to drop that expectation of others has changed my life dramatically for the best. While I identify with every single point you made strongly, I plan to go through your other videos for more kernels of wisdom :) That said, have you ever done content on the way our brains and thought patterns are organized in a web-like way? Often, I think of how my world around me (especially in the workplace) is like a web, and I can sense disturbances and shifts across my whole web. One unhappy face sends my mind into Perry Mason mode, trying to trace things backward to a source. Unconsciously, every time, my brain just kicks into that gear. I saw a video from another INFJ RUclipsr about this, but I would be really interested to hear your take on it! Great video and thank you!
Great comment KG. You are very welcome :) Yes, I do both kinds of videos but expect more with my face in the future! You make some great points here, including dropping expectations of people living up to our morals. I agree, relieves so much stress (although I still have to say on top of it).
As for the web-like structure of our brains, I have most certainly always known this - but I just put it in my "Topics" folder in my notes. Thanks for the great idea. I'll look into producing something on this in the future. Thanks so much for the insightful comment!
Jay
What a great comment. I recently made that shift as well. As INFJ's we do have layers of expectations to let go of on others and ourselves. Even though we can sense storms coming, it's better to be the calm in someone's storm the same way Jesus was when the disciples panicked. He was prepared because of how far out he can see. The storm has the ability to help blind people see for the first time in their life. We can warn people all day but very few value our advice and I found the storm does a better job of dismantling delusions.
Our web is larger than most. We can see far out and it is a gift for us and others. Thankfully it isn't all on us. There is a greater plan to assist us all on our individual journeys as well. We can breathe too as sometimes we are too selfless. Especially with all the disrespect we often recieve from the judgement of others who can't see what we can. Perhaps it's better not to show all your cards. Show what is necessary but not all. As many can weaponize what you know for all the wrong reasons. Guard your power.
@@pearlydiamond Yes! Excellent comment. I agree. We don't need to reveal everything, and people will steal our info and use it against us or for evil.
exellent share KG , ty
I wasn’t sure if I was INFJ but this video has convinced me that I am. I can relate to every point. 😃
Spot on! People just do not want to do the work in order to improve themselves and their situations. So it's frustrating for us when people don't take our advice! Especially when you relate to the same experience. And yes, people do not get our humor! I love it! HA! People are so shocked when they talk with us on an individual basis--always completely different than they think.
You are exactly right, people are really freaked out because we are nothing like what they expected! Well, that's the way we are. lol. Thanks for the great comment!
Jay
🕊️
@@INFJcircle very unassuming
I have a hard time thanking people for their compliments.
3:29 oh yes… I can match people’s energy and their personalities on command. I can talk about anything to anyone. This helps me in my nursing career a lot. I can find a way to connect with most ppl within minutes.
I just wrote in my journal, "I love my life and will never hate my life because of other ppl's behavior again. I wrote that down with conviction and then this video popped up! Thank you for these explanations, I wondered if ppl who are suppose to be experts get intimidated by my knowledge and passion. Thought it was my imagination. And the "appearing to be quiet or seemingly small, and then when you come out of your shell--ppl feel deceived perhaps? Or mad because they got comfortable with their own perception of you which was never real!
Everything you said is accurate and it is also unfortunate that it is that way. People put you in a "category" then when you change suddenly they get angry. Also, people like to be more intelligent than other people, so when you show you have a lot of knowledge they also get angry.
But sometimes you find someone who does want to learn and grow, and then you can share your knowledge and put effort into that person. Sadly, there isn't a lot of these people, so tread lightly until you find out if the person you are interaction with is one of these or not.
Thanks for the great comment!
Jay
Wow, you know us INFJ's so well! I have never felt so understood especially when you say how our intentions with our intuition are to help but then they become angry at us for giving that help and it's probably because they want to remain at the status quo. I have felt over and over that I want people to just validate and appreciate my intuition when I share it (to help them obviously) but it's matched with an energy of animosity/opposition. Thank you so much for this channel and allowing a space for people like us to feel understood perhaps for the first time in our lives.
I could listen to you all day.
Thank my friend :) Means a lot.
Jay
Great video. I actually would like to be something else more common though, rather than INFJ. I took the test 8 times over the years, and from different places, but always came out INFJ. My spouse is ISTJ, and I see how much everyone loves him instantly and wants to be his friend. I've had people tell me they admire my high standards and they like knowing that people like me exist, but that without even trying, I make them feel "less than", just by being who I am. That really does stink.
Thank you! Yeah, kind of what inspired the video. I totally see your point about being a more common type. Being an INFJ kind of does stink sometimes. It's like we are a really cool personality type, but it takes SO much work just to get through daily life. Still, I think we are a great asset to the world, they just don't give us a lot of credit for the things we do (we are way under appreciated). Thanks so much for the great comment!
Jay
I've had this exact same issue in a new workplace I'm in. It has unintentionally sowed a little bit of division amongst my peer group, in that our employees gravitated toward me and my style of leadership, which is always to do everything I can to support the team. Simple concept, but as an INFJ, I'm instantly tuned in to all the subtle details and where they come from and where they lead. While I thought I was staying off the radar, they've noticed how I carry myself in my individual work and with conversations and with my unwavering consistency. It is claimed that we have perfectionist tendencies, but I think our biggest perfectionist tendency is to REMAIN CONSISTENT. That scares people, because we set a high standard and it isn't just for show. We set it and just keep going and going.
Sometimes 'Tact' to an INFJ is making yourself small for the sake of others or the moment. We also do it to allow someone to expose themselves to us so we can take their measure and collect sample data on them. It's like allowing them to sort of emotionally/ mentally exploit you by allowing them to gain a perceived dominant position over you. And then there are people, like siblings and family, who ever get to see the full version of me because it triggers narcissistic attitudes and behaviours that are so subtle and powerful that only I can notice it. So essentially, you have to exercise tact at all levels and whilst doing so, be aware of your intentions and reasons for being with these people and sacrificing who you are, for the sake of their comfort.
This happened to me as well. A friend I thought was a close one once told me that I made her feel 'less than'. Like I was an adult and she was a child with less knowledge, experience or courage. This really startled me and made me greatly upset. She said that because of that feeling she contemplated not communicating with me anymore. Afterwards she said she was not right in her attitude and would like to continue being friends. But for me it was a cut. After being a friend with a person and having been rejected I am unable to trust that person again. So we gradually became strangers.
Sometimes I think I will always be relatively alone. People would come and go and I'm not sure if anyone would be able to stay.
You are always spot on with describing my life as an INFJ. I was laughing for most of the video. Thanks for posting.
Same, I laugh every time he gets something right about me, it’s scary accurate 😆
THAT FINE LINE BETWEEN SERIOUSNESS AND BEING SILLY OMG..SoOOoOoOOooOoo oO funny, but also sucks when people don't get us.
I remember having this sense of humor since i was rlly young. In first grade, i was in the school play, playing "the star of the sea," a real big-shot. Well, i was a little bit nervous having that part because my two best friends got a really tiny part, where they say jokes only during the intermission, whereas i was saying lines the whole time. I was a real big-shot, haha. Anyways, i was not that way at all in real life. Actually i acted the opposite way, but still grabbed at the opportunity. When we went to recess one day, when we got to the playground, my friends were asking what we wanted to do. I cant remember what it was, but i think i said that i wanted to choose, because "im the star of the sea" hahahaha. Actually it was just my turn to choose, because they had chosen so many of the last times, and i thought they would understand that, and by no means i was being serious. Like i said, normally i was quiet and had gone along with whatever they wanted. I was surprised they didnt laugh, actually, and hurt that they thought that was really "me." I was making a joke. Anyways, well, they ended up doing their own thing, and i started crying by myself underneath the playset. I thought that was fitting though, under the playset, for the play's "under the sea" theme, and i was definitely the "star" down there, because no one was around but me 3:03
Haha this really made me laugh 🤣
I think best for writing stories when I am just lying around. My ideas come naturally when I am relaxed.
Totally agree. It's so important for us INFJs to have that time. Very cool that you are a writer! Thanks for the comment, means a lot.
Jay
Yes!!! Same!! Love being bored for this very reason!!
I remember when I was an Arts and Design student and we have role play to do. We didn’t practice anything and. I just stayed all night thinking each person will do in details and instruct them what to do the next morning. Our teacher was surprised that we didn’t have any props prepared compared to other groups ahahhaah turns out ours was the mindblowing act since it’s refreshing that the members are the one that became props 🥹
Yes I Have experienced that "think you have a friend to talk to" thing, many many times.
Great channel! I just figured out I'm an INFJ. You are very knowledgeable and insightful on this subject. I have a better understanding and appreciation of myself now! I just thought I had ADHD)
Can you please make a video as to why INFJs lives are GREAT? 🙏🏾❤
Why not, we cover all angles here lol!
Jay
1) because we are self-sufficient and drama-free (on the outside in the visible realm, but on the inside WOW so much is going on!)
2) because we are wholehearted and compassionate and altruistic, and the world is made better by our impact on people
3) because we can survive a pandemic easily since we have zero need for socializing
4) because we give thought to our ways, we are discerning well, we are thoughtful, wise, and we provide wise counsel to thousands of brain-scattered people who are completely hidden from themselves and are strangers to themselves
Thank you Jay for great video. Recently I took some test and figured out that I am INFJ.
I was so much relief to discover that fact because all my life I thought that I am so much different than other people in my environment.
Now I try to protect myself from gossiping and other nonsense things and toxic people. Especially narcissist. Don't try to give help or advice to everyone. Also finally I don't care if somebody who knows me superficial think that I am selfish. I just want to be in good and positive environment and protect myself, keep energy and nerves. Somebody who wants to really know me and be part of my life will need to make some efforts.
You are so welcome Svetlana! I think you have really got things figured out well. The part about not giving advice to everyone is golden. It's our natural tendency but since I've stopped that my life is so much simpler. Also, the part about others making effort is so true. Better to be alone than to have a terrible burden of a relationship (including narcissists) thanks so much for the great comment!
Jay
Im beyond greatful for this channel
Thank you Michael! I'm grateful for you, and thank you for letting me know the channel is helping you!
Jay
The only problem, as an INFJ, I have is, people getting dumber and dumber, I am an older millenial and saw the world before when Internet, when people used to have values. I couldn't help people anymore because they have become so dumb to understand thing and above all criticizing me. I really feel sorry for Gen-Z and humanity, We know that human IQ is decline since late 2000s and it is getting harder and harder to make them see things. With all the Internet, its getting more tougher!
I feel this so much. As I replied in another comment, I tried to point out it my friend that she was on her phone too much and she got mad at me ☹️ like I’m on my phone too but only when I’m at home. I’m not gonna scroll on RUclips around other people I wanna hang with, I wanna be fully there in the moment.
@@DoofenSpyroDragon16 Yes, BTW, Women are very prone to picking up bad things and get addicted faster, and they have very less capability to understand things in complete.
This smart phone addiction has hit hard women, men too, but I dont see men as slaves to their smartphones as women.
I see women in the gym attached to their phones as if they are born attached to it. I know their lives are shallow because they never got time to appreciate the world around you and its people.
Internet and smartphone are different things. You can still browse RUclips all day and become more educated. It depends on what you are browsing. Too bad these dumb people don't understand it.
Oh my you are reading my mail 😂😂😂. I have seen all these things in myself since I was a child. Always knew I was different but you, my friend, have helped me understand myself at the ripe old age of 72. I'm a slow learner 😅😅😅. Keep it coming. I am enjoying every minute 😁♥️
Exactly ! Most people dont get my jokes they think im Serious🤣🤣🤣
Right, so accurate. EVERYONE around me wants a Johnnie Carson quip to cause everyone to hee haw and then go on to the next clever one liner, even with a suddenly deep subject. Someone automatically believes the conversation needs to be sewn up and discarded with a 3 second joke, then onto the next subject. How do they skim life like that? And I mean all the way to the grave.
No clue how people skim life and never go deeper. They do it every day though. I have tried to just "let them be" and it works to some degree, but it still bothers me that people are like this, and that there is hardly anyone to discuss deep topics with.
Jay
@@INFJcircle It’s sort of like being the molten lava in the earth and most everyone else is the crusty soil on the surface
The thing I realate the most that I live on the edge of the couch. I eat, sleep, watch TV , study, work from my couch.
I'm with you...lol!
Jay
Same!! Phineas and Ferb all the way! And if I’m not doing that I’m playin Spyro or making music 🤩
I feel like there's an inverse video waiting to be made: the rare/weird situations/conditions that paradoxically turn these bummers into very powerful advantages or opportunities. Thank you for a great video. I'm a fan. I'm sold. Thank you.
While I think it's important to understand your personality type, I am very careful about not letting it define me, as I am in a constant state of growth and development and labels can sometimes hinder that. Great video yet again 🙌🏾
Thank you! I agree, I’m a big believer in the growth mindset.
Jay
@@INFJcircle I can tell😌
Oh the looks I sometimes get when I tell what I conceider a joke, oh man. As for large social gatherings, they are exhausting (small gatherings don't seem to be so overloading and draining), think it is too much input all at once (That may be a simple reason). Now that I am socially overloaded I up in "lazyville" or whatever they want to call it. However it is not "lazyville" at all, it is reading time, music time, to-do list time and whatever else time that aids in the recharging for the next social sensory overload. Being INFJ is not easy and can be complicated at times however it does have its upsides too especially once you understand how those upsides can work for you and others. Feel like I wrote a small novel here and I had more to say. So much for being a quiet INFJ.
Great comment Larry. Yes, totally agree. We store up that energy for the next social overload. lol. And yes, our alone time is where we get our work done too, we are always learning and that is valuable time spent in and of itself. I agree too, INFJs have a gift, we just have to learn to use it. Thanks for the great comment!
Jay
nice to hear a realistic video, not sugar coated! thanks!
Glad you liked it!
Jay
Since I hit my 40’s, I am even more INFJ than ever…. I tick every single box. It’s kind of scary, lol.
Just found your channel yesterday and I am enjoying your videos immensely. Thank you. ☺️
You’re my hero!! I’m over here like “tell me more about myself!” Lol
I didn't come here thinking I was some kind of leading man box office hero. But I seriously relate to these ten issues
So amazing, how suitable all this insight information is! Nearly unbelievable. Thx
This is a really good channel. Thanks mate. 🙏🏻🕺🏿
Thank you Jasbad, that means a lot to me! Thank you for the comment. :)
Jay
Not a problem mate. This is a really good informative INFJ channel which is real and not some AI voice generated rubbish just dictating from a book or something.
What I'd be very interested in is: Is there a correlation between your zodiac sign and your personality type or profile?
Is there also a correlation with the order you are born compared to your siblings? I've found that most INFJs are first borns - especially the males.
Anyway, I'm keen to hear your thoughts.
Cheers! Josh.
@@INFJcircle I'd love to know how INFJs response to certain drugs can be different that others. I've found that my super intense thoughts can become even more super intense to the point of insanity when I've taken certain psychedelics etc. I don't really ever meet anyone who has the same types of experiences on drugs as I do - but in saying that, I need 3-4 local anaesthetic injections in my mouth for a filling so my body processes substances a little funny I think...😆🤩
Thank you ❤ your videos are very informative and straight to the point 👌
I’ve been ghosted so much.
Sucks when you have communication issues within your own marriage for some of these reasons. 😞
this all made sense to me from the start.
Great Lola! Thanks for your comment, means a lot to me :)
Jay
Yes we like the edge. Great 👍 video! You’re spot on. I like me. I like my skin. I like my pjs. My home is off limits to the rest of the world. Not lonely but never want to be disturbed. 5:00pm door gets locked,
Definitely thought I really hit it off with people and then got ghosted!!!
The couch joke! 😂
Thanks man. Very insightful and accurate.
I would 💕 to marry a fellow INFJ (no pun intended 😉) and have some real-life in person INFJ friends. My (non) family shamed me for being a know-it-all when I was very young. Thanks for bringing that honourable trait to the forefront. Signed Idiot-Savant.
LOL! Yes, unfortunately we are often labeled as "know it alls" since we actually enjoy learning and know a bit about a lot of topics. Oh well. Thanks for the great comment and keep being you!
Jay
Infjs in my neck of the woods gets bullied a lot and Targeted. Yes this life for us is hard.
So true!! Every single point is spot-on!
Great video, all true! Really enjoying the Facebook group conversations as well!
Awesome! Glad you are in the FB group! Thanks for the comment, means a lot!
Jay
I’m a new subscriber and this is the 2nd video of yours that I have watched. I like your style/format and the content here :) this video was great…. I agree that even with some drawbacks I wouldn’t change being an INFJ :)
Absolutely spot on everything your saying are all the things i deal with on a daily basis 👏🏻👏🏻
The one thing I’ve always said i wanted putting on my gravestone was
Misunderstood
Phenomenal… absolutely amazing 💛
Great finally the truth about us.. now how can we our InFJness to be extremely successful.
Stay tuned because I'm going to get into how we can maximize our lives in future videos. Thanks so much for the comment, means a lot to me!
Jay
Smarcastic humor and I love to make people think
Did the personality test many years ago, but never knew why I was ‘different’, I have dyscalculia also, and process info a bit differently. Though I was a bit of a freak, yes clumsy and forget major things too.
The mind is a complicated thing - but different doesn't mean freak. Thanks for watching!
Jay
I've learned to just keep it moving and invest that wisdom n2 my own life.
Being alone and lonely are two totally different things. We ❤ our solitude.
Conversations are hard with superficial people.
It’s scary how you said we analyze people when we meet them. We do.
We are clumsy.😂 I told my boyfriend “if I don’t have to deal with the sensory world ever again I wouldn’t.”😂
Another excellent video….i just found you today and your videos are so helpful! (I've already subscribed). Thanks! 😊👍
This is a great video. You nailed it! Thank you-very consoling.🙏💐😊
Thank you Elizabeth! That means a lot to me. You are very welcome, thanks for your comment!
Jay
I just do not belong and gave up the fact of finding like minded because I found out I am just better alone. I like being alone. The rejection for how smart you are is real. Aka just be quiet.
I love plays on language when it comes to humor. I can't believe how slick we can be sometimes. 😅
Now sometimes I don't know if I'm ghosting others or being ghosted by others. It's hard to tell at this point and I'll allow it to be in limbo for the sake of peace and letting things go. We are such intense beings that it's such a delicate place of giving it your all and then needing space afterwards. We all need a healthy happy medium.
Yeah, I agree. It’s hard to know who’s ghosting who because I certainly don’t want to be around shallow or manipulative people and many people are that way. The play on words is something that never stops with me as well. Lol. And puns. Thanks for the great comment!
Jay
perhaps these .. bullshitery , dumbassity .. seems that's what is fed us when we do our best to communicate 🤷
Another great video, thank you! (And great accent too!)
Yes. This is how it is
Great video. Related to this a lot. Often been in a great convo then ghosted. Very interested in language and something sounding funny in relation to it. Wacky sense of humor. Quiet in public and can be wild around friends. I just thought I was nuts when I was younger. Always thought of myself as the computer, robot, alien. Good to know I'm unique not crazy. 👍
What you are saying sounds very similar to me. No, you aren't crazy. Thanks for watching the video and I'm glad it helped you!
Jay
Yes. This is right on the money.
Accurate, well illustrated, spot on, thank you! Signed: mega-infj.
You are so welcome Mart. Thanks for the comment and encouragement buddy!
Jay
as long as i laugh its funny
Dude I love your channel.
Yes, plays on words are funny jokes to me, too.
Yes! I love them Shannon. LOL. To the point of weirdness. Thanks for the comment!
Jay
Thanks for your video
You are very welcome Jaleh, thanks for your comment, it means a lot!
Jay
Sinceramente me sorprende este video, y los demás sobre nosotros los infj, me siento demasiado identificada, y pensaba que solo yo era así, que solo yo sobre pensaba y leía a las personas, pero más que nada creía que esos eran delirios míos, que yo era una persona mala por pre juzgar a los demás (también prejuzgo, claro que sí) pero sin embargo ahora creo que no es necesariamente que me paso juzgando y prejuzgando a las personas, sino que realmente puedo leerlas en muchos casos e intuir muchos movimientos o reacciones, por lo que siempre soy muy cuidadosa cuando conozco a alguien nuevo o cuando noto alguna diferencia en alguien que ya conozco.
I think picking up a lot of, if not all cues in social interactions rings true for me. I used to think that I wasn't able to pick those things up, but turned out I realised I was rather good at it. And it's... frustrating that at times I pick up a lot of cues that just goes against what I want or hoped. ANd it can be really painful when that happens.
And oh my God, clumsy is very true too. I know people around me they don't have the tendency to be physically clumsy. Me, on the other hand, I keep dropping stuff or forgetting to flush the toilet or something. It's... more funny than stink.
unless, you keep dropping a fragile expensive objects I suppose. Thankfully, I just drop nail clippers, matches, cigarettes, bag, etc.
This is so accurate
I love word play. It's fun and new. Learning new word s and meanings...mess. lol
Love being an INFJ weirdo 😂👍
It’s your face!!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
And yes being ghosted as an INFJ for reasons such as:
- The INFJ Oversharing / divulging too much too soon
- The other person feeling too exposed and/or analyzed
- The INFJ taking time for themselves either in conversation or at some point in the relationship and the other person making it about them not being liked anymore because they’ve unconsciously benefitted from and gotten used to the INFJs care, commitment and attention
Is so common but way less talked about compared to the INFJ ghosting/doorslamming.
It’s likely confusing at best and painful at worst - it’s as if the INFJ has to choose between relationship / giving in unequal measure and being their full true selves.
In my experience, it took me pulling everything back for a few years to only tend to my own needs and then being really incremental, discerning, and boundaried with new relationships to attract relationships that feel aligned and become long-term and take people leaving less personally.
Thanks for speaking to this dynamic we so often experience.
Yes, I've made an appearance! haha. Thanks for the comment Michel!
Jay
“Plays on language”
I love a good corny pun, anyone else? Why does everyone think those are lame?
😁
@@laurie6644 I love that 😁
You’re my best friend.
😊
Thank you
Very well spoken lol