1/ Research a topic or a person obsessively. 2/ Delay making phone calls. 3/ Talk to themselves. 4/ Tell emotional truths. 5/ The INFJ stare. 6/ It takes time to learn new things. 7/ Runs into walls.
6/ It takes time to learn new things. I've learned that INFJ learning is different. I'll use the alphabet as an example. People will learn the alphabet A-Z and then know it whilst INFJs are still on A. However, our learning style would have us learn EVERYTHING about the letter A. Where it came from. What the etymology of the letter is. Why it's sometimes a short/long vowel. Who created the first A and what it looked like on clay tablets. Etc. It takes a while.
Phone calls are rude interruptions. Imagine going about your day and someone just barges through the front door and begins talking about whatever it is their intent was and you are expected to drop everything and accommodate this!? Phone calls are like that.
It's always annoyed me, same as door to door selling. Infringing on my privacy. Cctv is handy these days and if not expecting a parcel or a planned visitor friend, just don't answer 😉
Eye contact is special, bridges the gap between someone’s external body language and subsconsiouss, then on the contrary the eyes reflect people true intentions
Yep. Once we've answered that internal question to satisfaction, then revisiting the topic is unnecessary and a waste of time....unless more questions arise down the track. But generally, I find it hard to keep going with a topic if I don't need to use that info to make connections and or to help explain other topics etc.
I love Researching my personality, narcissistic personality, metaphysics, quantum physics, government things. An religion, I love learning new things. Definitely talk to myself 😂😂😂. All the above. We're so quirky I LOVE IT. ❤❤❤ Ive had plenty of bruises on me from bumping into stuff. So cool to FINALLY NOT FEEL ALONE. THX FOR UR VIDEOS 😁
I am an INFJ and I appreciate your insights, Jay. The people in my life have always thought of me as intelligent, but I've doubted that because of my learning style. I have always felt that I'm a slow learner, but I tend to excel in a topic after a long learning period of pattern recognition. Thank you for not letting me feel alone in thought.
I know what you mean. I think that is price we pay for the connections we can make to all subjects, but again, it doesn’t mean you aren’t intelligent. Quite the opposite I believe. Jay
its the same for me and personally, I didn't mind it anyway, because its just helps me to understand the topic in-depth, and when I teach some classmate of mine about that topic, i end up explaining things which are not in it but somewhere related to it and they be like, 'Oh, this also there in the topic, our teacher didn't explained this.'
Yes! I honestly thought I was stupid and was in beauty school and discovered I wasn’t, so I studied the skin care program. Did that for a while, then back to school and learned phlebotomy. Turns out, not stupid at all.
Yes. Same once I learned about the narcissistic behaviors,the patterns are in my face now. Can see from a mile away. I'm so grateful, now we can spend the next part of our lives with our eyes wide open, it's a beautiful thing.
I have always been a researcher. I obsess over a given topic. I used to think “this is my passion! I finally found it.” But inevitably I would reach a level of understanding and would move on. Friends and family get angry at me and say, “Just pick something and stick with it!” But I just add the information to my internal encyclopedia and move on.
As an INFJ I am mature at mind but kid in the heart. Yeah people find me weird and intimidating. They don't understand my emotional truths and they always misunderstood me. Sometimes people takes advantage and used me for their own benefits but not trusting my intuition cost me a lot.
@@Daan58 I am mature about what life is and what the meaning of life is. I live by my morals, beliefs, and values, yet I have this side of me when I am playing like a kid because I think it is who I am. And when I said what was right, people called me a hypocrite, and they said I just wanted to maintain my good image. I heard people gossiping about me. They think if you have a rude mouth, then you are an honest person, but if you choose to be kind and have a mouth full of encouraging words, then you are playing it safe. Then they think choosing your heart over right is being real and true, so if they heard my answer that I will choose what is right even what my heart desires, then they called me a hypocrite.
From my experience my tolerance has got things stolen from me but like it depends Webster or I not I’ve predicted that outcome maybe for an ego thing or I just wanted to see their true intentions
60 yr old INFJ here. It does get easier. Oh.. those bloody door frames!🤣 I even built my own house with extra wide doorways. Made no difference! When I talk to myself I describe it as 'me' chatting to my flesh robot. I know when my family members are having problems because they avoid talking to me. They know a chat with me is a reality check that they can't handle yet. On the phone you'll often hear me say "I can hear you smiling" /frowning etc.. I live a hardworking but peaceful self-supporting life on our tiny farm and it gives me all the subject matter I need to quench my thirst for knowledge. This year I'll be building a 'rope pump' for our well - happy researching!
Phone calls to me, are like someone coming to my door and knocking (expecting me to open/pick up), without forewarning. Even my best friend or wife can call me out of the blue without warning, and I won't pick up and I'll wait for the voice message.
When I was younger, if I felt people watching me, I not only became clumsy, I also had a tendency to freeze. That was a nuisance. Anyone else got frozen from too much scrutiny?
Yes ALWAYS feel the eyes on me when I walk into AMYWHERE .An when talking to someone my face gets red an I stutter, often mix my words up. Or just saying off the wall stuff when nervous, I definitely don't like doing things for the first time in front of people it's nerve wracking. I had to go to court an had everything I wanted to say ( rehearsed out loud all the time at home )I was so confident then I went in the court seat an froze I couldnt think of anything I wanted to say an totally bombed. Then spent the next few months beating myself up over it. They're was like 30 people in the court room light shining in my eyes. They couldn't hear my regular voice in microphone so I had to speak up. A officer was behind me it was sooooooo intense ,an I froze. I'd say this is the only thing I could do without with being an INFJ..
@@TeriHargraveartist unfortunately yes it was. But fortunately I'm working on my childhood trauma an I'm getting much better at coming into my true self . GODisGOOD
I felt the same way until I found the love of God an I know when it's my time it will be. Feeling the TRUE love of God is overwhelmingly amazing. I pray you find what ur looking for. Having faith, removes that burden , Also getting urself involved with something to help others can also be very helpful. Love Jessica
@@willowdreams1786 That advice doesnt help, you cant just turn off anxiety like with a switch...one has to explore the root causes of ones anxiety, and journaling helps a lot with this. You`re awesome Daniel. I am sure of that, no matter what you've been told or have experienced in your life....Sending you hugs!
I research conspiracy theories, houseplants, hair cutting (especially the shag cut), all kinds of animals, (particularly pets,) psychology, and narcissism.
Talking to myself is like journalling- i dialogue between different parts of myself to resolve stressful emotive circumstances. It works really well bc i am externalising, rather than just thinking it thru❤
Agreed on all of these. Phone calls are part of my job and I absolutely put off my phones every single week if I can. My issue with phone calls is I can pick up on peoples emotions with tone of voice, and then I absorb that and it lingers with me throughout the day. For better or worse.
Yep. I can pick up on smarm even over the phone. In one of my jobs, this was the case with a man I talked to, and when I met him later, he lived up to what I figured out about him.
INTJs do much of the same! 😆 As for being “slow learners” due to needing to see pattern recognition first, that was why I took a couple math classes twice. For some reason, the school district placed me in the most advanced math classes, which I would fail the first time, but the second time I took it, I’d recognize lessons/concepts I’d learned before, which indicated to me that it was important enough to retain the info. Once I understand the relevance of something, it’s easy for me to store & retain knowledge for a long time. Don’t have much RAM, but I do have a pretty large hard drive in my brain. I also love how we as Ni-doms can connect seemingly disparate topics! 💕
I remember i took the advanced class in highschool first term and i failed too or did not get a high grade and changed to the lower class next term as we could do then here in Scandinavia and remember the first test and the teacher told we have one who got all 100 % right at the test and he came to me lol. I was shocked.
@@hhbeck-ziegler9333 I guess it’s“typical” of the INTJ experience, then. 😂 For the two math classes that I failed, I aced them the 2nd time around. There were also times where I would be the first one to finish the test, and instead of feeling confident & going on my way, I’d panic for a moment and check to see that I didn’t skip a bunch of problems on a page or something.
I love researching (my personality, nutrition, love languages, the Bible, personal growth, etc), don't like phone calls but I love talking to myself always!😂 I enjoy talking about emotions, working on self-improvement, and love staring (I didn't realize that until now haha😅). I used to feel bad about my learning style until I knew about my personality type. That was a huge release as well as this video. Thanks a lot! 🎉🎉
Yeah, Custer. I researched our family history when I first got married, in the '70s, and discovered that although Custer didn't have his own (white) children, he was a relative, and visited my ancestors in Ohio before the Civil War. Or during, or shortly after. This led me to a deep dive into the Lewis & Clark Expedition, Plains Indian history, a master's degree in conflict resolution, and eventually moving to Nebraska to the first place where Lewis & Clark met Native people and living on that reservation for ten years.
Obsessive research? Oh yes! Some fifteen years ago, while I was deep into watching documentaries about black holes, supernovas and quantum mechanics, I stumbled upon the book “137: Jung, Pauli, and the Pursuit of a Scientific Obsession” that more or less revolves around quantum physics pioneer Wolfgang Pauli seeking mental help from Carl Jung in 1932. Reading this fascinating book then led me to Jung-based MBTI theory and finding out about my personality type. A life-changing experience.
MBTI is one of the most life changing things that can happen for INFJs. Truly an eye opener. Sounds like your path was very in depth. Thanks for watching! Jay
Regarding the eye contact thing, I've learned that looking people in the eye while listening, shows that you're really listening, but I really struggle to maintain eye contact when I'm talking.
I hate phone calls. They're like unnecessary anxiety initiators. I have trouble looking people in the eyes if it's a stranger. If they demand I do so I end up glaring into their face and they either get uneasy or more upset, lawl.
Algebra was a real disaster at school. :) Phone calls ought to be forbidden altogether. After 10 years in therapy and becoming a therapist myself I am able to answer every third phone call.
I have all of them. Regarding #2, I don’t particularly like text message conversations. Along with not being able to read facial expressions, you cannot hear the tone of voice, so you cannot get a real feel of this type of communication. It feels impersonal. Well, for me anyway.
RIGHT!? An sarcasm can't be heard through a text so I tend to get more misunderstood. An If it's a personal relationship then phone calls are better. But If it's not with someone I have a relationship with id rather text.
We love looking at patterns, systems, discrepancies, hidden stuff, mystery, synchronicities, symbolism, yeah metaphors, deep feelings so uneasy to delve into by most. 😂yeah, talking to oneself, staring intently, not always intimate, just gauging the other person, getting lost in the inner workings behind d words, noticing body language, so uncomfortable and weird for others, sometimes zoning out completely in d middle of conversation then running away, if we don't share don't make up anything about it 😊 We don't mean to surprise everyone, maybe people just over talk, we don't mean to be cunning, people just underestimate us or think we are pushovers, we don't mean to lie, maybe we just haven't shared all to not hurt or cause unnecessary tension. If we feel safe, we sometimes over share, not to upstage but to help. Twist our words, you get the hulk, humiliate us, you get door slam. From 100 to 0, piercing silence, but really, we hate doing it but we have to. I research people and things like, thoroughly, obsessively, for months and years until I master the knowledge, topics are variable. I just love learning about humanity and life. Anything useful that I can share to benefit others, too.
Another comment…. Yes, I always thought I was a bit slow with my learning and very thoughtful about everything I was taught. I think teachers thought I was dim when I was younger. I ended up with a Masters degree with a recommendation to pursue my PhD. I taught at university level for a few years. I could always spot an INFJ student and used to love supporting and developing them to their full potential.
In my opinion, this is the only channel that truly hits the INFJ nail right on the head! You arent doing it as something else and are just interested in infj's, you really and truly are one yourself and that is definitely recognized by the other ones like me. Great video man, keep up the good work!
Obsessive reseaches, phon-bia, and slow learning speed.....it scares but comforts me at the same time, that all these are simply common traits of INFJs (that Im not the only weird one😂)... recently, i have been trying not to completely define myself as INFJ and rather believing in everyone has full potential to become what they want to be...but i figured I have so much INFJs inside me after watching this 😂😂 I have researched a lot in self-development, personalities, diets, nutrition, weightlifts, religions, bible, how to study better, how to live better and fuller life, and etc... I'm very thankful of knowing INFJ's learning pattern. I always thought Im just simply a slow learner, but it was pattern recognition, which needs more data and time to grasp concepts and ideas.
Yes, we’re tying so many things together. It almost Has to run at a slower pace. But when we do get it, we have a much fuller perspective than most people. Jay
I often find myself sitting on the couch, listening to music, and constantly trying to interpret and put together patterns of people's behaviour. And i do this for an obscene amount of time. I get these flashes of deeper images in my mind, trying to predict how certain interactions will unfold, or attempting to use that intuition to foresee potential consequences of those present behaviours, from a futuristic viewpoint. And sometimes i will get so lost within my head that i lose track of time. The emotions i feel become so intense, that sometimes i wonder if i am getting too far out of touch. Its like a super-computer with terabytes and terabytes of storage, and the information is so wealthy, you need strong guardrails in place to prevent a system failure because its so overwhelming.
I used to feel like I was in a Ni- Ti loop. an soon realized I just needed to let go an have faith , we see what we need to see when we need to see it. Trusting our intuition as it's happening, I believe we also tend to manifest fast you get what u ask for , we have to be careful for what we ask for. 😂 And as the old saying goes u look an shall find. That's another one that seems to manifest itself as well.. I really have to be mindful on what I spend my time thinking about. Thanks for sharing 🙏
I had no idea that my public clumsiness (including curbs, lol) was part of my personality type! I've always thought I was a visual learner but what you say about pattern recognition makes a lot of sense. My mom told me that when I was little, and she was explaining things to me verbally, I would start crying and tell her I didn't understand what she was saying. I'm retired now but I also had that feeling when my boss was giving me verbal instructions. I eventually learned to repeat back to him what I had heard to make sure I was getting it. I love learning and researching...religion, aliens, politics, health, gardening, etc., etc. People who aren't are a great mystery to me. You have helped me so much, Jay! Thank you!
I love languages! I too delay making phone calls I too prefer texts for the same reason I too talk to myself I too tell straight up emotional truths. People don’t always like that about me but that is not my problem. I will go on the RUclips chatlogs and find people in the chatlog who need to grow. I feel it is better them hearing it from me because I will say in a kind way The Death Stare is definitely me! The learning speed is true also. I have told new employers that it would take longer to learn but I would be one of the best employees they ever had You talk about running into walls. I am really thinking all the time so constantly making sure I am doing things safely
Thanks for the reply! As for the last one - the walls - concentrating, like you are doing, is the secret to NOT running into things. I need to do that more (especially when doing dangerous things). Jay
@@Daan58 sure! If you go on RUclips videos there is a place where people leave comments. You can like or dislike the comment. You can also reply to the comment. Other people can also reply to your comments. The comments are emailed to you. If you need to you can block the person. I use it a lot. I have answered questions for people. I had someone say “if one person likes this bless you.” I have people that needed encouragement because they were so discouraged with life. I have typed in a heart for people who are grieving
Another excellent and accurate compilation Jay, as I found myself smiling, nodding and even laughing in agreement 😀 You asked….Fortunately with being retired, I’ve been down quite a few areas of research these last four years and won’t specifically list them here as don’t want to flag up 😉 As you rightly say, I do and did spend quite some time getting info from various sources on each subject before I was sufficiently in agreement. Suffice to say we’ve been lied to about most things in this life and whilst some people don’t want to hear/see it (probably because they can’t handle it and it would make them have to rethink everything), I’ve always preferred the truth and can handle it. Only a few actual friends have looked at what I’ve discovered and can see the lies too, but they’re in the minority. I’ve found more people online who already know and they’ve become my circle. Edit: Just requested to join your mailing list circle 😃
@@RunningNotStopping Thanks for saying that 😊 I think perhaps that many INFJ's have awakened and are aware because we question and join dots. I really hope that's the case 👍 Have a great day 😃
Another retired INFJ here!. I am exactly in the same position as you, it is hard to wake upto the fact that everything we believed in has been a lie. I am so isolated because the majority of my friends and family all have their heads in the sand, one of my sons is my only ally. I sometimes feel like I am going mad but it nice to read comments such as yours, it makes me feel less alone.
@@dianne9365 Dianne, thanks SO much for commenting as I understand completely being in the same situation. I can't relate to friends and not been in touch with many for over three years. Although three have recently gently approached me via email, so perhaps there's hope that they've realised I was right with my warnings. Yes, it's been a very lonely time but I just keep a diary and push myself into achieving various things and still research daily as I love to learn. When I think about all those years of school indoctrination being made to stand outside the classroom for having the audacity to ask the teacher to explain better as she didn't make sense. We just keep on doing what we can to help others although I've started very recently to take more care of myself and about time too ☺️ Have a lovely day 🤗
I AM a person who will look up people online even if they're not a public figure. Better to know up front than wish you'd known later. Not finding anything is just as troubling as finding things. But I don't interact with so many people that it's a constant activity. When I get enough information that I'm satisfied, I quit. So am I weirder than the average INFJ even?
I do that, too, to find out what my friends are up to, or what mindset a troll is coming from on facebook, or if someone's interests or beliefs are compatible with mine. If they think that's weird, then they shouldn't put their information online. Also, if there is a post about someone who went missing, if they were found. It's always a relief if they did not come to any serious harm.
Observing people and staring is a life-long habit for me. I want to know about them just by observing. I get caught often by the subject of my observation, and I'm sure it make others uncomfortable. I always try to have a smile at the ready to try to calm their concerns. LOL on hitting curbs, I do that all the time!
This was very encouraging. I definitely do most of these things and I feel pretty weird most of the time lol I think as INFJs we are a tiny bit weird, but that's what sets us apart. We may have strange idiosyncrasies, but we also have unique gifts as well.
The phone phobia is dead on. I hate phones. I have a landline that I always let go to voice mail. I have a cell phone that I keep in my car 24-7. I'd be surprised if I have turn it on more than once per year. The learning part is also dead on. I started taking piano lessons as an adult. I told my instructor, the learning curve is going to be slow and flat for a relatively long while, but then it's going to take off like a rocket. And so it has.
I was telling a friend the other day to please text me first before wanting to talk on the phone. I explained I need a moment to redirect my brain. One of my favorite chapters in the book, "The Introvert Advantage" is on phone phobia. Helped me understand myself and phone habits.
💯% accurate! Things obsessively looked up: 1)beekeeping 2) gardening 3) very historical periods 4) actors and actresses 5) curly hair care 6) creationism
One proud research nerd here! I discovered who my biological father was 3 years ago & began an intense & fascinating ancestry journey which revealed very famous historical figures. This led to my purchase of several books (from Thriftbooks; hardcover, of course, as we appreciate the finer feel of it.) Before that, it's been finance, real estate, antiques, decorating, nutrition, horses, goats, bees, cats, regenerative farming, massage therapy, world religions, running, yoga, etc. I am definitely "out-loud voicing" words of encouragement to myself often; sometimes in song. Phone calls? Nope; not Skyping either. (Cringe). When in Massage Therapy class, the instructor would explain the right technique but follow it up with telling us what not to do. This frustrated my mind & I asked her to stop telling us (me, really), what not to do. It was throwing me off. I did struggle at first as I had in learning foreign languages, but, at the end of courses, I came out successful. I seemed to have had to redesign/remold my creature self by absorbing; by digesting the subject of my desire fully. To experience it in body, mind and Spirit. Being able to express how I feel (positive emotions) around the general public has not resulted in positive responses. I have reined in my exuberance over the years & let it fly free in my private time. I probably still look into people's eyes with too much intensity when listening to them. I'll work on that. You're a wonderful presenter & I'm thrilled to have come upon your chats. Thank you.
OMG a gal pal told me I was an INFJ last year and I wasn't sure she was correct. I bought a book and then started to listen to INFJ informational videos on RUclips. I am most definately, an INFJ. I struggle with eye contact with a few exceptions of people who I am close to.
I don't see any other way to learn about something. If you don't dive in, are you learning anything? I'd comment on everything you listed but it all just hits too close to home. LOL Glad I'm not the only one that bumps into everything. Good thing I can find the humor in my clumsiness. Fun video to watch, Thank you!
As a kid I was bullied a lot. One time when bringing this topic to a teacher she told me that I have something in my eyes, in the way I look at someone that someone "have to bully me". Ever since then I often avoided eye contact
That's weird on the teachers part. She obviously has something wrong with her. We tend to irritate people's demons. Keep looking at people,keep being urself the world needs us to be confident in ourselves, STAY STRONG. DONT DIM UR LIGHT FOR THE EVILNESS IN THIS WORLD. XO
I’m sorry that you experienced this. I was just thinking about the stare, too, and thinking how some people find it threatening - like you can see their biggest insecurities. We can 😄 but we don’t care about their flaws like they think we do.
Hi Jay! I appreciate these videos so very much! Man, all you've stated in this video applies to my path in life. ( INFJ as well, if I haven't stated that before.) To an extreme. LoL. Medieval History in college. Philosophy, Art History, an aspiring musician.. Numerous times, I've been told, " You're too intense, Why are you justifying / explaining everything you do, all you experience?" I'm very empathic, caring, face my fears, hold fast to values, integrity and personal ethics...... And it scares the hell out of most people. I'm not perfect, and believe in seeking knowledge, skills to improve myself in service to others. ( Once DoD contractor/ Military, now certified master Reiki Practitioner, Holistic health therapist.) I strive to be a better person, do good in this mad, mad world and help others. I expect others to do the same. Seldom happens... Yet, I still try to have hope and believe that Humanity can change for the better... Though a challenge, we all truly can thrive as the true, beautiful, reflection of our Souls. Such is my hope for everyone.
I relate to what you are saying so much. Our ethics and truth seeking really do scare people. Thank you for sharing this Trey, it’s like I wrote it, our paths are very similar. Jay
I love researching about music, About classical instruments, Traditional music styles, singers, pitches, high notes,etc. And I love nerding around about these things. My past interests were about genetics, quantum physics and human mind. I found one thing weird about me that, if I listen or watch some music or movie, I just go to google and search up everything about that movie, the cast, the production etc. I just get obsessed with that for about a couple of days.
I am on board with you 100% about researching topics, phone calls, and talking to yourself out loud, I thought everyone did that? I know what you mean about getting your words right for texting, I make my answers real short. Listening to this is like having my jail cell door opened up for a bit.!! I can peek outside for a bit:)
@@INFJcircle Exactly. I wish I could turn it off at times. It even robs me of sleep and relaxation. This personality is very interesting and intense. I see the beauty of it as it is such a gift to the earth but due to the mass of shallow and mediocre people, it leaves us feeling as if we don’t belong, especially for me and a few other INFJ’s I encountered.
I laughed throughout this cool video because EVERY POINT was spot on in my case. As an INFJ I question EVERYTHING, including, whether or not I'm really an INFJ 😅. It's confirmed everytime. I love being a little "strange" now that I've found my place in the world.
I have thousands of topics I have obssessively researched... from Art, Architecture, to Historical figures... Self-improvement and Psychology, being an all-time favorite....
Your videos are mesmerizing bcos I recognize myself in you and that’s so liberating. It feels good to know there are others like me. I’m not alone. I believe the INFJ stare happens when we’re consciously and subconsciously reading someone. I also think it happens when we’re super interested in what someone’s saying. I think we become only partway present bcos we’re actually picturing it in our head.
I so have all of these- currently researching aquarium shrimp. True. I hate phone calls. So much of this is true of me. Im one of those people in Walmart talking to myself.
😂😂😂 my daughters ALWAYS like huh Mom? An I say I'm just talking to myself again. 😂😂😂 She's 19 she said u always do that yep. My dad used to tell me it's ok as long as I don't answer myself but I do , 😂 I do answer myself to. Quirky an I love it 💕
Wow, I did not believe I am an INFJ (after being typed, both by testing, and by psychologist/therapist). Until, I listened to you. I have issues with every single point you made, especially talking out loud to myself. I really appreciate how simple you made all these points. Absolutely true about "rabbit hole research" - I have studied: medieval heraldry, horses, dog training, gardening, Viking era culture, are just a few. Amazing vid! Thanks.
I can take endless time in composing or responding to a text or email. I often will text to respond to a voice message. As for the eye contact. I find myself not looking directly unless I can be sure they are not looking at me. I now see that I am actually just processing. Your examples of INFJ behavior really are excellent
I’m a 66-year-old INFJ. And a teacher. I have found that looking at the persons mouth between the nose and the upper lip and vague focus on the face that way it looks like you’re looking into the eyes, but you’re not because when you’re look at the eyes, you know that it is happening it generates a recognition jolt from human to human. But the folks of your attention/other people, they don’t know it and can’t tell you’re not looking at them in the eyes.
Almost made me feel as though you're tagging along in my daily life. Can't add a single bit to what you've described, like looking into a mirror. Thanks.
Your points describe me well, except maybe running into doors. My specialty is missing exits because I'm deep in thought! I've had trouble with the "INFJ stare" too, and I now also make it a point to look away periodically when talking to someone. It seems to help. These days it's mostly video calls for work though, and I imagine some interesting papers could be written about the communications dynamics that happen there. Some people don't seem to grasp that others can see them in these meetings, the way they are obviously multitasking, or they way they react to what someone else is saying. Their faces and gestures as well as their words can be quite instructive. I like to say off video so I'm not observed doing the INFJ stare, scrutinizing them and trying to read their feelings.
Thanks for sharing. Yeah, the door thing is more like being off about two inches and hitting my shoulder on the frame as I walk through. Thanks for your thoughts, I think INFJs have many similar experiences but not all are exactly the same. Jay
Talking to yourself helps you more completely process what ever it is you are thinking about. Verbalizing your thoughts and hearing them enter your ears sends the thought to more places in the brain than are accessible by just internal thinking. Regarding making seemingly remote connections - yeah, I can really relate to that. We were in Hawaii with another couple and one day noticed a rising moon over the ocean. It was in it's 1st quarter so it looked like a half circle and rose at mid-day. What struck me was that the terminator line on the moon (dividing line between night & day) was parallel to the horizon. Living at 37' north latitude most of my life, I was accustomed to seeing the moon's terminator at a considerable slant. I wondered how this was possible, and concluded the obvious - I had changed my position on the curved surface of the earth! (When I mentioned this to the others, they looked at me like I had three heads.) That's the same thing Eratosthenes demonstrated with the shadows on the summer solstice, but with different data points. I can relate to almost all of these things.... Retired teacher.
Related to clumsiness when feeling the spotlight: I drive well - unless an officer pulls behind me. Then, I can’t maintain a speed, I can’t maintain a lane, and each goof ratchets up the stress and frequency of infractions.
Yup, they all apply. What I didn't notice that could be common is the running into walls and door frames. For years now, I only do that by mistake when I'm at home because I want to be fully aware of my surroundings whenever I leave the house. It's because I've tripped on stairs in front of people a few times before. Anyway, sometimes I'm distracted thinking about the best way to solve a problem and I bump into a wall in the hallway or the door frame of my room. The thing is, since I know my house so well because I grew up in it as a little kid, I can even walk around freely in complete darkness without touching the walls and without bumping into anything, so I thought it was odd for me to run into something sometimes. Thanks for pointing that out.
I cannot believe how accurately you described my lifestyle... I had no idea that I'm not alone! The mere fact that there are others out there, like me? WoW!!!! I feel like I've been alone, all this time, inside my own head... observing others... and silently judging...WTH
Reading the Bible out loud is excellent. I do it every day. I watched videos by Paul Hegstrom, having heard his testimony at first on Sid Roth's program It's Supernatural. Paul tells about how it creates new neurons in the brain. He was able to recover from stroke by doing this, as well as get over childhood trauma. He has clinics where he teaches his methods, helping people recover from brain damage, PTSD, and even pedophiles have been cured of their obsessions. Paul says that when our brain hears us repeat what the Bible says in our own voice, it believes us more than it believes it when it hears other people read or recite the Scriptures.
I’ve blamed my falling up stairs on steps that have an overhang. Especially embarrassing when you’re holding into the hand rail. Russian history, the Gilded Age, making my own cleaning supplies (not that I clean often), painting my nails (needed every color to try any technique I could find), and currently studying the lead up to WWI. Thank you for explaining these short lived obsessions in a way that didn’t make me feel like I lack focus or control.
I’m currently at home recovering from a broken bone in my foot. I was going downstairs holding the railing and on auto mode deep thinking. Thinking the next step was the ground, I stepped onto air and fell 2-3 steps down w my left foot cushioning most of the blow 😅.
I’ve been known to just disappear from family gatherings. I can only take just so much people time before I’m exhausted. I’ve become an expert at leaving places without anyone realizing I’ve left.
This is spot on. When I was a kid I used to get so stressed out about when the phone rang, now my phone is just always on silent. I've red books on serial killers, forensics, chakras, meditation, search and rescue, bushcraft, animal behaviour, quantum physics etc lol. Also went to school for natural science, massage and firefighting. I learn in patterns, I never understood how people don't. I am definitely a slow learner. I will make all the mistakes at the beginning until I see the pattern and my brain does a thing and it clicks, then I go past my peers. I also run into door frames lol This is nice, thanks!
I agree with all that you have stated here. I especially hate the phone. This was very problematic for me when I worked in sales. I had to talk myself into taking a block of time to return calls. I much prefer one on one conversations in person. My partner is an INTP and avoids eye contact, this used to really bother me until we both learned about personality types. Now I know not to peer into his soul every time we have a conversation.
What we should do from my research... 😂 I love it. So relatable. Ideal amount of eye contact is SO something I might have researched and nobody else would really have wanted to hear about it. My latest research obsessions are all health and aging related. I have some unexplained health stuff going on and research helps calm my anxiety about it. But I am constantly researching everything and anything! Not always very deep, just enough to satisfy my curiosity. I love learning new stuff.
Very accurate-- except I was a quick learner in school. As an adult, I have had people think I was a slow learner. Past research topics: History: Revolutionary War, Civil War & Antebellum period--particularly black soldiers and/or supernatural events and the civil rights movement; home improvement & decor, fashion; frugality & finance
I used to run into walls and doors and fall/slip from/on stairs a lot in childhood... But now I have successfully got a hang of it... almost. I am always extra careful on stairs...
Thank you! I've always felt like an alien here. Especially in high school, where people would be on the same page having a loud conversation and laughing, I was over on the side thinking, "What? Why is that so funny or interesting?" I like deep conversations. Nothing surface level.
Right now I am obsessing over mother Theresa after listening to a podcast called “the turning”.. it’s fascinating and non INFJ’s in my life have a hard time understanding that I FEEL things about this so deeply inside that I can’t just shake it off! Good to know it’s “normal”.. 😊
Woah. I found another one of me. 🤔 To an absolute t on every point. The binge learning, phone phobia, talk to themselves. Damn. My mind is blown. Subbed. Edit: walking into door frames bc you were thinking about something. 😂😂😂 All the time. Like it just jumps out at you and snaps you back to the moment. Happens at least once a week.
What I have in common: stare and stairs! I sometimes stare at something or someone, maybe it's just because I'm looking at some interesting detail, I'm completely absorbed in catching everything about the most silly of things, like a pretty color on a shirt. I get that can be upsetting, like I'm judging or something like that, but really I'm not judging anything. Reguarding stairs: I probably can beat the world record in going downstairs slowly when the stairs appear to be slippery.
1/ Research a topic or a person obsessively.
2/ Delay making phone calls.
3/ Talk to themselves.
4/ Tell emotional truths.
5/ The INFJ stare.
6/ It takes time to learn new things.
7/ Runs into walls.
It's 💯 accurate with me 😂😂😂
Ok, now I believe I’m an INFJ. 😂
Yes to every single one of these. INFJ for sure. 1. Peacocks, Scientology, skincare, color theory, psychology. 😊
I don't run into walls, but I trip in an empty room.
6/ It takes time to learn new things.
I've learned that INFJ learning is different. I'll use the alphabet as an example. People will learn the alphabet A-Z and then know it whilst INFJs are still on A.
However, our learning style would have us learn EVERYTHING about the letter A. Where it came from. What the etymology of the letter is. Why it's sometimes a short/long vowel. Who created the first A and what it looked like on clay tablets. Etc.
It takes a while.
Phone calls are rude interruptions. Imagine going about your day and someone just barges through the front door and begins talking about whatever it is their intent was and you are expected to drop everything and accommodate this!? Phone calls are like that.
Oh u made me laugh
@nancyneyedly4587 ~ exactly that! I agree 😳
Mostly I let the caller leave a message or not. I might return their call.
Exactly
Indeed. I rarely answer phone calls unless from my husband.
"...hate getting phone calls." Ha! that's me alright. The phone rings and i'm "Who the f*ck is that now? What do they want?"
Yes and then block the number if unknown 😅
@@JackieKay11 It's good to know I'm not the only one that blocks such. Thank you.
It's always annoyed me, same as door to door selling. Infringing on my privacy. Cctv is handy these days and if not expecting a parcel or a planned visitor friend, just don't answer 😉
we all weird like that. lol
I’m SO relieved to know it’s not just me who feels this way lol my family thinks it’s weird that I hate speaking on the phone lol
Sometimes I won't look ppl in the eye because their soul is appalling and painful to engage
One of the many reasons I love my transition glasses. I can appear to be looking right at them, but the tint obscures my direct eye line.
Yes! I immediately feel their vibe and get distracted by direct eye contact. I love my glasses, so they can't see when I'm not making eye contact.
Eye contact is special, bridges the gap between someone’s external body language and subsconsiouss, then on the contrary the eyes reflect people true intentions
1. Research obsessively and then discard!-YES! I was just thinking of this today!
That is SO INFJ! 😂
Jay
Yep. Once we've answered that internal question to satisfaction, then revisiting the topic is unnecessary and a waste of time....unless more questions arise down the track. But generally, I find it hard to keep going with a topic if I don't need to use that info to make connections and or to help explain other topics etc.
Definitely fallen down the rabbit hole. Faberge eggs- Russian Imperial History- Guided Age America- Causes of WWI. And from there?
I love Researching my personality, narcissistic personality, metaphysics, quantum physics, government things. An religion, I love learning new things. Definitely talk to myself 😂😂😂. All the above. We're so quirky I LOVE IT. ❤❤❤ Ive had plenty of bruises on me from bumping into stuff. So cool to FINALLY NOT FEEL ALONE. THX FOR UR VIDEOS 😁
You are very welcome! Quirky we most definitely are.
Jay
Am the same😂
Same
I always think out-loud and bump into things. I’m just always on-the-go. Too micro-focused to mind bumping into the bed post. You aren’t alone.
That’s exactly everything I like to research!!!
I am an INFJ and I appreciate your insights, Jay. The people in my life have always thought of me as intelligent, but I've doubted that because of my learning style. I have always felt that I'm a slow learner, but I tend to excel in a topic after a long learning period of pattern recognition. Thank you for not letting me feel alone in thought.
I know what you mean. I think that is price we pay for the connections we can make to all subjects, but again, it doesn’t mean you aren’t intelligent. Quite the opposite I believe.
Jay
its the same for me and personally, I didn't mind it anyway, because its just helps me to understand the topic in-depth, and when I teach some classmate of mine about that topic, i end up explaining things which are not in it but somewhere related to it and they be like, 'Oh, this also there in the topic, our teacher didn't explained this.'
This.
Yes! I honestly thought I was stupid and was in beauty school and discovered I wasn’t, so I studied the skin care program. Did that for a while, then back to school and learned phlebotomy. Turns out, not stupid at all.
I've obsessively researched criminals, and narcissists. I see them a mile a way now. It keeps me safe from being a victim.
I also have phone-bia. 😂
Yes. Same once I learned about the narcissistic behaviors,the patterns are in my face now. Can see from a mile away. I'm so grateful, now we can spend the next part of our lives with our eyes wide open, it's a beautiful thing.
@@STRONGfamVALUEZIt sure is a beautiful thing .
Same!
Same here.
@jennie7 we're like the little "bee girl" in Blind Melon's video No Rain. We found our tribe !
I used to think I was a freak until I found that I'm an INFJ. Now I feel better with myself and my lil odd ways.
I have always been a researcher. I obsess over a given topic. I used to think “this is my passion! I finally found it.” But inevitably I would reach a level of understanding and would move on. Friends and family get angry at me and say, “Just pick something and stick with it!” But I just add the information to my internal encyclopedia and move on.
Same 👍😃
Ditto same patterns and behaviour as an INFJ😅
Google people that scan. Scanners. It’s a thing. I got obsessed about why I would get obsessed with some many different things 🤣🤣🤣
When I express myself, I look away. When I am listening and interested, I look people in the eye.
As an INFJ I am mature at mind but kid in the heart. Yeah people find me weird and intimidating. They don't understand my emotional truths and they always misunderstood me. Sometimes people takes advantage and used me for their own benefits but not trusting my intuition cost me a lot.
@@Daan58 I am mature about what life is and what the meaning of life is. I live by my morals, beliefs, and values, yet I have this side of me when I am playing like a kid because I think it is who I am. And when I said what was right, people called me a hypocrite, and they said I just wanted to maintain my good image. I heard people gossiping about me. They think if you have a rude mouth, then you are an honest person, but if you choose to be kind and have a mouth full of encouraging words, then you are playing it safe. Then they think choosing your heart over right is being real and true, so if they heard my answer that I will choose what is right even what my heart desires, then they called me a hypocrite.
Oh yes! I've always been attracted to older friends with more life experience, but I'm a kid at heart. It's a funny paradox
From my experience my tolerance has got things stolen from me but like it depends Webster or I not I’ve predicted that outcome maybe for an ego thing or I just wanted to see their true intentions
60 yr old INFJ here. It does get easier.
Oh.. those bloody door frames!🤣 I even built my own house with extra wide doorways. Made no difference!
When I talk to myself I describe it as 'me' chatting to my flesh robot.
I know when my family members are having problems because they avoid talking to me. They know a chat with me is a reality check that they can't handle yet.
On the phone you'll often hear me say "I can hear you smiling" /frowning etc..
I live a hardworking but peaceful self-supporting life on our tiny farm and it gives me all the subject matter I need to quench my thirst for knowledge. This year I'll be building a 'rope pump' for our well - happy researching!
Right. Yea they can't handle it sometimes, a problem solver an a truth teller. God I love being us 😂😆
What is it about corners, are we so big picture, we think we can walk through walls?
Phone calls to me, are like someone coming to my door and knocking (expecting me to open/pick up), without forewarning.
Even my best friend or wife can call me out of the blue without warning, and I won't pick up and I'll wait for the voice message.
I'm with you. I'm not a phone guy at ALL. lol
Jay
When I was younger, if I felt people watching me, I not only became clumsy, I also had a tendency to freeze. That was a nuisance. Anyone else got frozen from too much scrutiny?
Yes ALWAYS feel the eyes on me when I walk into AMYWHERE .An when talking to someone my face gets red an I stutter, often mix my words up. Or just saying off the wall stuff when nervous, I definitely don't like doing things for the first time in front of people it's nerve wracking. I had to go to court an had everything I wanted to say ( rehearsed out loud all the time at home )I was so confident then I went in the court seat an froze I couldnt think of anything I wanted to say an totally bombed. Then spent the next few months beating myself up over it. They're was like 30 people in the court room light shining in my eyes. They couldn't hear my regular voice in microphone so I had to speak up. A officer was behind me it was sooooooo intense ,an I froze. I'd say this is the only thing I could do without with being an INFJ..
@@STRONGfamVALUEZ that sounds like a nightmare 😕
I too have frozen before. Someone had to take over for me. I was in my 20’s, but remember it well (too well).
Jay
@@TeriHargraveartist unfortunately yes it was. But fortunately I'm working on my childhood trauma an I'm getting much better at coming into my true self . GODisGOOD
Yup!
Omg I never knew other people fell UP stairs like me! I’m not alone, thank you. ❤
I do it ALL the time!
Oh yes. Been there, done that.
100% right that we are information vampires.When we find something we are interested in we spend most time researching about it.
Agree.
Jay
I feel very lonely and unbearably anxious. I just want to love and feel needed by someone.
I can relate.. it's a basic need, but must be the right person. Omeone who craves our depth and isn't scared by it.
Ur needed & loved. 💙❤️ Don’t feel so anxious.
I felt the same way until I found the love of God an I know when it's my time it will be. Feeling the TRUE love of God is overwhelmingly amazing. I pray you find what ur looking for. Having faith, removes that burden , Also getting urself involved with something to help others can also be very helpful. Love Jessica
The love of God through Jesus Christ is truly the answer. Receive Him by grace through faith, amen
@@willowdreams1786 That advice doesnt help, you cant just turn off anxiety like with a switch...one has to explore the root causes of ones anxiety, and journaling helps a lot with this. You`re awesome Daniel. I am sure of that, no matter what you've been told or have experienced in your life....Sending you hugs!
When all these topics fit and you want to comment but then think about the perfect way to respond only to erase everything 5 or more times lol.
or you write an email to someone after thinking it through for a couple hours, only to keep checking back at the sent box to reread what you wrote 😅
Sounds like me,then I just delete the comment.
Wow, yes to all the replies, lol.
Nailed it.
I research conspiracy theories, houseplants, hair cutting (especially the shag cut), all kinds of animals, (particularly pets,) psychology, and narcissism.
Talking to myself is like journalling- i dialogue between different parts of myself to resolve stressful emotive circumstances. It works really well bc i am externalising, rather than just thinking it thru❤
Yes, I think journaling is a great strategy! Thanks for watching
Jay
Have you ever been accused of over thinking? Is this from people that don't want you to know more than they do!?
Agreed on all of these. Phone calls are part of my job and I absolutely put off my phones every single week if I can. My issue with phone calls is I can pick up on peoples emotions with tone of voice, and then I absorb that and it lingers with me throughout the day. For better or worse.
Yep. I can pick up on smarm even over the phone. In one of my jobs, this was the case with a man I talked to, and when I met him later, he lived up to what I figured out about him.
INTJs do much of the same! 😆
As for being “slow learners” due to needing to see pattern recognition first, that was why I took a couple math classes twice. For some reason, the school district placed me in the most advanced math classes, which I would fail the first time, but the second time I took it, I’d recognize lessons/concepts I’d learned before, which indicated to me that it was important enough to retain the info. Once I understand the relevance of something, it’s easy for me to store & retain knowledge for a long time.
Don’t have much RAM, but I do have a pretty large hard drive in my brain. I also love how we as Ni-doms can connect seemingly disparate topics! 💕
I remember i took the advanced class in highschool first term and i failed too or did not get a high grade and changed to the lower class next term as we could do then here in Scandinavia and remember the first test and the teacher told we have one who got all 100 % right at the test and he came to me lol. I was shocked.
@@hhbeck-ziegler9333 I guess it’s“typical” of the INTJ experience, then. 😂 For the two math classes that I failed, I aced them the 2nd time around.
There were also times where I would be the first one to finish the test, and instead of feeling confident & going on my way, I’d panic for a moment and check to see that I didn’t skip a bunch of problems on a page or something.
I love researching (my personality, nutrition, love languages, the Bible, personal growth, etc), don't like phone calls but I love talking to myself always!😂
I enjoy talking about emotions, working on self-improvement, and love staring (I didn't realize that until now haha😅).
I used to feel bad about my learning style until I knew about my personality type. That was a huge release as well as this video. Thanks a lot! 🎉🎉
Yes for sure
All me as an INFJ ❤
Omg me too holy
Yes 100% 😄
Same!!
Yeah, Custer. I researched our family history when I first got married, in the '70s, and discovered that although Custer didn't have his own (white) children, he was a relative, and visited my ancestors in Ohio before the Civil War. Or during, or shortly after. This led me to a deep dive into the Lewis & Clark Expedition, Plains Indian history, a master's degree in conflict resolution, and eventually moving to Nebraska to the first place where Lewis & Clark met Native people and living on that reservation for ten years.
Obsessive research? Oh yes! Some fifteen years ago, while I was deep into watching documentaries about black holes, supernovas and quantum mechanics, I stumbled upon the book “137: Jung, Pauli, and the Pursuit of a Scientific Obsession” that more or less revolves around quantum physics pioneer Wolfgang Pauli seeking mental help from Carl Jung in 1932. Reading this fascinating book then led me to Jung-based MBTI theory and finding out about my personality type. A life-changing experience.
MBTI is one of the most life changing things that can happen for INFJs. Truly an eye opener. Sounds like your path was very in depth. Thanks for watching!
Jay
Regarding the eye contact thing, I've learned that looking people in the eye while listening, shows that you're really listening, but I really struggle to maintain eye contact when I'm talking.
I hate phone calls. They're like unnecessary anxiety initiators. I have trouble looking people in the eyes if it's a stranger. If they demand I do so I end up glaring into their face and they either get uneasy or more upset, lawl.
Algebra was a real disaster at school. :) Phone calls ought to be forbidden altogether. After 10 years in therapy and becoming a therapist myself I am able to answer every third phone call.
Absolutely no doubt now - I am INFJ for sure! Hi from the UK and keep up this excellent channel, I'm listening.
Welcome aboard! It's tough being an INFJ, but most of us wouldn't trade our type. Thanks for watching!
Jay
Another Brit here 👍
I have all of them. Regarding #2, I don’t particularly like text message conversations. Along with not being able to read facial expressions, you cannot hear the tone of voice, so you cannot get a real feel of this type of communication. It feels impersonal. Well, for me anyway.
RIGHT!? An sarcasm can't be heard through a text so I tend to get more misunderstood. An If it's a personal relationship then phone calls are better. But If it's not with someone I have a relationship with id rather text.
Agree.
Jay
We love looking at patterns, systems, discrepancies, hidden stuff, mystery, synchronicities, symbolism, yeah metaphors, deep feelings so uneasy to delve into by most.
😂yeah, talking to oneself, staring intently, not always intimate, just gauging the other person, getting lost in the inner workings behind d words, noticing body language, so uncomfortable and weird for others, sometimes zoning out completely in d middle of conversation then running away, if we don't share don't make up anything about it
😊 We don't mean to surprise everyone, maybe people just over talk, we don't mean to be cunning, people just underestimate us or think we are pushovers, we don't mean to lie, maybe we just haven't shared all to not hurt or cause unnecessary tension. If we feel safe, we sometimes over share, not to upstage but to help.
Twist our words, you get the hulk, humiliate us, you get door slam. From 100 to 0, piercing silence, but really, we hate doing it but we have to.
I research people and things like, thoroughly, obsessively, for months and years until I master the knowledge, topics are variable. I just love learning about humanity and life. Anything useful that I can share to benefit others, too.
Beautifully written and very, very true. That sums up the INFJ relationship pattern really. Thank you for that.
Jay
Love how you deliver a clear message, you got great public speaking skills, content is really juicy @@INFJcircle
Another comment…. Yes, I always thought I was a bit slow with my learning and very thoughtful about everything I was taught. I think teachers thought I was dim when I was younger. I ended up with a Masters degree with a recommendation to pursue my PhD. I taught at university level for a few years. I could always spot an INFJ student and used to love supporting and developing them to their full potential.
That's awesome 😎 WE need more teachers like urself. Xo
In my opinion, this is the only channel that truly hits the INFJ nail right on the head! You arent doing it as something else and are just interested in infj's, you really and truly are one yourself and that is definitely recognized by the other ones like me. Great video man, keep up the good work!
Obsessive reseaches, phon-bia, and slow learning speed.....it scares but comforts me at the same time, that all these are simply common traits of INFJs (that Im not the only weird one😂)... recently, i have been trying not to completely define myself as INFJ and rather believing in everyone has full potential to become what they want to be...but i figured I have so much INFJs inside me after watching this 😂😂
I have researched a lot in self-development, personalities, diets, nutrition, weightlifts, religions, bible, how to study better, how to live better and fuller life, and etc...
I'm very thankful of knowing INFJ's learning pattern. I always thought Im just simply a slow learner, but it was pattern recognition, which needs more data and time to grasp concepts and ideas.
Yes, we’re tying so many things together. It almost Has to run at a slower pace. But when we do get it, we have a much fuller perspective than most people.
Jay
I often find myself sitting on the couch, listening to music, and constantly trying to interpret and put together patterns of people's behaviour.
And i do this for an obscene amount of time.
I get these flashes of deeper images in my mind, trying to predict how certain interactions will unfold, or attempting to use that intuition to foresee potential consequences of those present behaviours, from a futuristic viewpoint.
And sometimes i will get so lost within my head that i lose track of time.
The emotions i feel become so intense, that sometimes i wonder if i am getting too far out of touch.
Its like a super-computer with terabytes and terabytes of storage, and the information is so wealthy, you need strong guardrails in place to prevent a system failure because its so overwhelming.
I used to feel like I was in a Ni- Ti loop. an soon realized I just needed to let go an have faith , we see what we need to see when we need to see it. Trusting our intuition as it's happening, I believe we also tend to manifest fast you get what u ask for , we have to be careful for what we ask for. 😂 And as the old saying goes u look an shall find. That's another one that seems to manifest itself as well.. I really have to be mindful on what I spend my time thinking about. Thanks for sharing 🙏
I do same…get angry when I’m being disturbed or situations when I’m loosing my time…
@@STRONGfamVALUEZ excellent points on manifesting and trusting our intuition.
Phone-bia!! Not terrible!!!🤣 INFJ gaze?... we're seeking!! We want that deep convo. I appreciate your videos... your humor is great! Thank you.
lol. Thank you so much!
Jay
I don't even have a cell phone. My land-line does not have an answering machine either. Agreed, hate phone calls.
“Information vampire” describes it perfectly. Topics I’ve delved into:
-Bronze Age collapse
-MBTI
-Enneagram
-Buddhist thought
-House music
-specific DJs (Fatboy Slim most recently)
-Leadership skills
-coaching skills
-Holistic healing
-nutrition
-menopause and perimenopause
-the monetary system
-INFJ stuff 😂😂😂
I feel so comforted, relaxed and normal now 🤣Even after watching and reading so much about my traits. Thanks, I appreciate it a lot.
You're so welcome! Glad it helped you!
Jay
I had no idea that my public clumsiness (including curbs, lol) was part of my personality type! I've always thought I was a visual learner but what you say about pattern recognition makes a lot of sense. My mom told me that when I was little, and she was explaining things to me verbally, I would start crying and tell her I didn't understand what she was saying. I'm retired now but I also had that feeling when my boss was giving me verbal instructions. I eventually learned to repeat back to him what I had heard to make sure I was getting it. I love learning and researching...religion, aliens, politics, health, gardening, etc., etc. People who aren't are a great mystery to me. You have helped me so much, Jay! Thank you!
I never knew it either until I learned about MBTI. glad the videos are helping you, we have some of the same interests as well!
Jay
I love languages!
I too delay making phone calls
I too prefer texts for the same reason
I too talk to myself
I too tell straight up emotional truths. People don’t always like that about me but that is not my problem. I will go on the RUclips chatlogs and find people in the chatlog who need to grow. I feel it is better them hearing it from me because I will say in a kind way
The Death Stare is definitely me!
The learning speed is true also. I have told new employers that it would take longer to learn but I would be one of the best employees they ever had
You talk about running into walls. I am really thinking all the time so constantly making sure I am doing things safely
Thanks for the reply! As for the last one - the walls - concentrating, like you are doing, is the secret to NOT running into things. I need to do that more (especially when doing dangerous things).
Jay
@@Daan58 sure!
If you go on RUclips videos there is a place where people leave comments. You can like or dislike the comment. You can also reply to the comment. Other people can also reply to your comments. The comments are emailed to you. If you need to you can block the person.
I use it a lot. I have answered questions for people. I had someone say “if one person likes this bless you.” I have people that needed encouragement because they were so discouraged with life. I have typed in a heart for people who are grieving
@@INFJcircle I feel your INFJ pain on that one. I LOVE being an INFJ but I hear you!
@@Daan58 what you are using here is the chatlog
Another excellent and accurate compilation Jay, as I found myself smiling, nodding and even laughing in agreement 😀
You asked….Fortunately with being retired, I’ve been down quite a few areas of research these last four years and won’t specifically list them here as don’t want to flag up 😉 As you rightly say, I do and did spend quite some time getting info from various sources on each subject before I was sufficiently in agreement. Suffice to say we’ve been lied to about most things in this life and whilst some people don’t want to hear/see it (probably because they can’t handle it and it would make them have to rethink everything), I’ve always preferred the truth and can handle it. Only a few actual friends have looked at what I’ve discovered and can see the lies too, but they’re in the minority. I’ve found more people online who already know and they’ve become my circle.
Edit: Just requested to join your mailing list circle 😃
Yeah, we should search out the truth ourselves. Agree. Glad you enjoyed the video!
Jay
I can tell what topics my may be thinking about and I support you.
@@RunningNotStopping Thanks for saying that 😊 I think perhaps that many INFJ's have awakened and are aware because we question and join dots. I really hope that's the case 👍 Have a great day 😃
Another retired INFJ here!. I am exactly in the same position as you, it is hard to wake upto the fact that everything we believed in has been a lie. I am so isolated because the majority of my friends and family all have their heads in the sand, one of my sons is my only ally. I sometimes feel like I am going mad but it nice to read comments such as yours, it makes me feel less alone.
@@dianne9365 Dianne, thanks SO much for commenting as I understand completely being in the same situation. I can't relate to friends and not been in touch with many for over three years. Although three have recently gently approached me via email, so perhaps there's hope that they've realised I was right with my warnings. Yes, it's been a very lonely time but I just keep a diary and push myself into achieving various things and still research daily as I love to learn. When I think about all those years of school indoctrination being made to stand outside the classroom for having the audacity to ask the teacher to explain better as she didn't make sense. We just keep on doing what we can to help others although I've started very recently to take more care of myself and about time too ☺️ Have a lovely day 🤗
I AM a person who will look up people online even if they're not a public figure. Better to know up front than wish you'd known later. Not finding anything is just as troubling as finding things. But I don't interact with so many people that it's a constant activity. When I get enough information that I'm satisfied, I quit. So am I weirder than the average INFJ even?
I do that, too, to find out what my friends are up to, or what mindset a troll is coming from on facebook, or if someone's interests or beliefs are compatible with mine. If they think that's weird, then they shouldn't put their information online. Also, if there is a post about someone who went missing, if they were found. It's always a relief if they did not come to any serious harm.
Talking to myself is more entertaining most times. 😅😅
Observing people and staring is a life-long habit for me. I want to know about them just by observing. I get caught often by the subject of my observation, and I'm sure it make others uncomfortable. I always try to have a smile at the ready to try to calm their concerns. LOL on hitting curbs, I do that all the time!
This was very encouraging. I definitely do most of these things and I feel pretty weird most of the time lol I think as INFJs we are a tiny bit weird, but that's what sets us apart. We may have strange idiosyncrasies, but we also have unique gifts as well.
My family members think im nuts.
They ask me who I’m talking to. And I reply. Myself, it’s the only way I am guaranteed and intelligent conversation.
BINGO!!! 👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽✨✨✨😂😂😂💯💯💯
The phone phobia is dead on. I hate phones. I have a landline that I always let go to voice mail. I have a cell phone that I keep in my car 24-7. I'd be surprised if I have turn it on more than once per year.
The learning part is also dead on. I started taking piano lessons as an adult. I told my instructor, the learning curve is going to be slow and flat for a relatively long while, but then it's going to take off like a rocket. And so it has.
I was telling a friend the other day to please text me first before wanting to talk on the phone. I explained I need a moment to redirect my brain. One of my favorite chapters in the book, "The Introvert Advantage" is on phone phobia. Helped me understand myself and phone habits.
Infj:
"Leave me alone"
"Ok,bye"
"Wait... Don't go"
The phone calls, and the running into walls and door frames, AND the falling up the stairs! So dead on. 😂
Talking to myself. I’m guaranteed an intelligent conversation..
Hahaha best comment. I agree
💯% accurate!
Things obsessively looked up: 1)beekeeping 2) gardening 3) very historical periods 4) actors and actresses 5) curly hair care 6) creationism
Same
One proud research nerd here! I discovered who my biological father was 3 years ago & began an intense & fascinating ancestry journey which revealed very famous historical figures. This led to my purchase of several books (from Thriftbooks; hardcover, of course, as we appreciate the finer feel of it.) Before that, it's been finance, real estate, antiques, decorating, nutrition, horses, goats, bees, cats, regenerative farming, massage therapy, world religions, running, yoga, etc.
I am definitely "out-loud voicing" words of encouragement to myself often; sometimes in song.
Phone calls? Nope; not Skyping either. (Cringe).
When in Massage Therapy class, the instructor would explain the right technique but follow it up with telling us what not to do. This frustrated my mind & I asked her to stop telling us (me, really), what not to do. It was throwing me off. I did struggle at first as I had in learning foreign languages, but, at the end of courses, I came out successful. I seemed to have had to redesign/remold my creature self by absorbing; by digesting the subject of my desire fully. To experience it in body, mind and Spirit.
Being able to express how I feel (positive emotions) around the general public has not resulted in positive responses. I have reined in my exuberance over the years & let it fly free in my private time.
I probably still look into people's eyes with too much intensity when listening to them. I'll work on that.
You're a wonderful presenter & I'm thrilled to have come upon your chats.
Thank you.
OMG a gal pal told me I was an INFJ last year and I wasn't sure she was correct. I bought a book and then started to listen to INFJ informational videos on RUclips. I am most definately, an INFJ. I struggle with eye contact with a few exceptions of people who I am close to.
I love images of space, stars, 0 gravity. I need a lot of space literally, it is calming, fulfilling.
I don't see any other way to learn about something. If you don't dive in, are you learning anything? I'd comment on everything you listed but it all just hits too close to home. LOL Glad I'm not the only one that bumps into everything. Good thing I can find the humor in my clumsiness. Fun video to watch, Thank you!
As a kid I was bullied a lot. One time when bringing this topic to a teacher she told me that I have something in my eyes, in the way I look at someone that someone "have to bully me". Ever since then I often avoided eye contact
That's weird on the teachers part. She obviously has something wrong with her. We tend to irritate people's demons. Keep looking at people,keep being urself the world needs us to be confident in ourselves, STAY STRONG. DONT DIM UR LIGHT FOR THE EVILNESS IN THIS WORLD. XO
I’m sorry that you experienced this. I was just thinking about the stare, too, and thinking how some people find it threatening - like you can see their biggest insecurities. We can 😄 but we don’t care about their flaws like they think we do.
Hi Jay! I appreciate these videos so very much! Man, all you've stated in this video applies to my path in life. ( INFJ as well, if I haven't stated that before.) To an extreme. LoL. Medieval History in college. Philosophy, Art History, an aspiring musician.. Numerous times, I've been told, " You're too intense, Why are you justifying / explaining everything you do, all you experience?" I'm very empathic, caring, face my fears, hold fast to values, integrity and personal ethics...... And it scares the hell out of most people. I'm not perfect, and believe in seeking knowledge, skills to improve myself in service to others. ( Once DoD contractor/ Military, now certified master Reiki Practitioner, Holistic health therapist.) I strive to be a better person, do good in this mad, mad world and help others. I expect others to do the same. Seldom happens... Yet, I still try to have hope and believe that Humanity can change for the better... Though a challenge, we all truly can thrive as the true, beautiful, reflection of our Souls. Such is my hope for everyone.
I relate to what you are saying so much. Our ethics and truth seeking really do scare people. Thank you for sharing this Trey, it’s like I wrote it, our paths are very similar.
Jay
@@INFJcircle thank you for responding... Wow, Jay. seriously... 😁
I love researching about music, About classical instruments, Traditional music styles, singers, pitches, high notes,etc. And I love nerding around about these things. My past interests were about genetics, quantum physics and human mind. I found one thing weird about me that, if I listen or watch some music or movie, I just go to google and search up everything about that movie, the cast, the production etc. I just get obsessed with that for about a couple of days.
I am on board with you 100% about researching topics, phone calls, and talking to yourself out loud, I thought everyone did that? I know what you mean about getting your words right for texting, I make my answers real short. Listening to this is like having my jail cell door opened up for a bit.!!
I can peek outside for a bit:)
I'm an INFJ and this is spot on!
Very true. I find all of these things in my day to day life. I talk to myself a lot. I find it to be very helpful and productive.
I agree, it sorts the jumbled mess that sometimes arises from overthinking. Thanks for sharing!
Jay
@@INFJcircle Exactly. I wish I could turn it off at times. It even robs me of sleep and relaxation. This personality is very interesting and intense. I see the beauty of it as it is such a gift to the earth but due to the mass of shallow and mediocre people, it leaves us feeling as if we don’t belong, especially for me and a few other INFJ’s I encountered.
I have had call phobia for my entire life. Most productive in writing. But others dont always take it right.
I laughed throughout this cool video because EVERY POINT was spot on in my case. As an INFJ I question EVERYTHING, including, whether
or not I'm really an INFJ 😅. It's
confirmed everytime. I love being a little "strange" now that I've found my place in the world.
I got told not to look ppl in the eyes so much, was told it was creepy
I have thousands of topics I have obssessively researched... from Art, Architecture, to Historical figures... Self-improvement and Psychology, being an all-time favorite....
Your videos are mesmerizing bcos I recognize myself in you and that’s so liberating. It feels good to know there are others like me. I’m not alone.
I believe the INFJ stare happens when we’re consciously and subconsciously reading someone. I also think it happens when we’re super interested in what someone’s saying. I think we become only partway present bcos we’re actually picturing it in our head.
Great thoughts. I think you are right. Our intuition is a pretty deep process. Thanks for sharing!
Jay
I so have all of these- currently researching aquarium shrimp. True. I hate phone calls. So much of this is true of me. Im one of those people in Walmart talking to myself.
😂😂😂 my daughters ALWAYS like huh Mom? An I say I'm just talking to myself again. 😂😂😂 She's 19 she said u always do that yep. My dad used to tell me it's ok as long as I don't answer myself but I do , 😂 I do answer myself to. Quirky an I love it 💕
Huh. I've never attributed my "clumsiness" or lack of spatial awareness to being an INFJ before. Interesting. Thanks!
Wow, I did not believe I am an INFJ (after being typed, both by testing, and by psychologist/therapist). Until, I listened to you. I have issues with every single point you made, especially talking out loud to myself. I really appreciate how simple you made all these points. Absolutely true about "rabbit hole research" - I have studied: medieval heraldry, horses, dog training, gardening, Viking era culture, are just a few. Amazing vid! Thanks.
Well, if we relate, we relate, I’m glad the video helped you and thanks for commenting!
Jay
every partner or friend i've ever had has been freaked out by this stare. ni just wants all the details.
I can take endless time in composing or responding to a text or email. I often will text to respond to a voice message. As for the eye contact. I find myself not looking directly unless I can be sure they are not looking at me. I now see that I am actually just processing. Your examples of INFJ behavior really are excellent
That’s a good point too, some INFJs may be looking off to process. Thanks for the comment!
Jay
I’m a 66-year-old INFJ. And a teacher. I have found that looking at the persons mouth between the nose and the upper lip and vague focus on the face that way it looks like you’re looking into the eyes, but you’re not because when you’re look at the eyes, you know that it is happening it generates a recognition jolt from human to human. But the folks of your attention/other people, they don’t know it and can’t tell you’re not looking at them in the eyes.
Almost made me feel as though you're tagging along in my daily life. Can't add a single bit to what you've described, like looking into a mirror. Thanks.
Your points describe me well, except maybe running into doors. My specialty is missing exits because I'm deep in thought! I've had trouble with the "INFJ stare" too, and I now also make it a point to look away periodically when talking to someone. It seems to help. These days it's mostly video calls for work though, and I imagine some interesting papers could be written about the communications dynamics that happen there. Some people don't seem to grasp that others can see them in these meetings, the way they are obviously multitasking, or they way they react to what someone else is saying. Their faces and gestures as well as their words can be quite instructive. I like to say off video so I'm not observed doing the INFJ stare, scrutinizing them and trying to read their feelings.
Thanks for sharing. Yeah, the door thing is more like being off about two inches and hitting my shoulder on the frame as I walk through. Thanks for your thoughts, I think INFJs have many similar experiences but not all are exactly the same.
Jay
Talking to yourself helps you more completely process what ever it is you are thinking about. Verbalizing your thoughts and hearing them enter your ears sends the thought to more places in the brain than are accessible by just internal thinking.
Regarding making seemingly remote connections - yeah, I can really relate to that. We were in Hawaii with another couple and one day noticed a rising moon over the ocean. It was in it's 1st quarter so it looked like a half circle and rose at mid-day. What struck me was that the terminator line on the moon (dividing line between night & day) was parallel to the horizon. Living at 37' north latitude most of my life, I was accustomed to seeing the moon's terminator at a considerable slant. I wondered how this was possible, and concluded the obvious - I had changed my position on the curved surface of the earth! (When I mentioned this to the others, they looked at me like I had three heads.) That's the same thing Eratosthenes demonstrated with the shadows on the summer solstice, but with different data points.
I can relate to almost all of these things....
Retired teacher.
This is exactly what I’m talking about. Few can make that connection. Many great thinkers were INFJ, including Plato. Great comment, thank you!
Jay
Your first one, Freddie Mercury. I was obsessed for like four weeks over the summer. Now, I like him the same as any other musician I like.
haha! Yeah, it's like you have to find out everything there is to know about them. Then back to normal. Thanks for sharing!
Jay
@@INFJcircle yes, exactly! Thank you for the video!
Related to clumsiness when feeling the spotlight: I drive well - unless an officer pulls behind me. Then, I can’t maintain a speed, I can’t maintain a lane, and each goof ratchets up the stress and frequency of infractions.
I too am obsessive with research about, well...everything!
Yup, they all apply. What I didn't notice that could be common is the running into walls and door frames. For years now, I only do that by mistake when I'm at home because I want to be fully aware of my surroundings whenever I leave the house. It's because I've tripped on stairs in front of people a few times before.
Anyway, sometimes I'm distracted thinking about the best way to solve a problem and I bump into a wall in the hallway or the door frame of my room. The thing is, since I know my house so well because I grew up in it as a little kid, I can even walk around freely in complete darkness without touching the walls and without bumping into anything, so I thought it was odd for me to run into something sometimes. Thanks for pointing that out.
I cannot believe how accurately
you described my lifestyle...
I had no idea that I'm not alone!
The mere fact that there are
others out there, like me?
WoW!!!! I feel like I've been
alone, all this time,
inside my own head...
observing others... and silently
judging...WTH
Glad you related happy to have you here!
All of the above. I read the Bible out-loud. It helps with understanding any topic. I “ startle “, easily, as well. ☺️
Reading the Bible out loud is excellent. I do it every day. I watched videos by Paul Hegstrom, having heard his testimony at first on Sid Roth's program It's Supernatural. Paul tells about how it creates new neurons in the brain. He was able to recover from stroke by doing this, as well as get over childhood trauma. He has clinics where he teaches his methods, helping people recover from brain damage, PTSD, and even pedophiles have been cured of their obsessions. Paul says that when our brain hears us repeat what the Bible says in our own voice, it believes us more than it believes it when it hears other people read or recite the Scriptures.
I’ve blamed my falling up stairs on steps that have an overhang. Especially embarrassing when you’re holding into the hand rail.
Russian history, the Gilded Age, making my own cleaning supplies (not that I clean often), painting my nails (needed every color to try any technique I could find), and currently studying the lead up to WWI. Thank you for explaining these short lived obsessions in a way that didn’t make me feel like I lack focus or control.
I’m currently at home recovering from a broken bone in my foot. I was going downstairs holding the railing and on auto mode deep thinking. Thinking the next step was the ground, I stepped onto air and fell 2-3 steps down w my left foot cushioning most of the blow 😅.
I’ve been known to just disappear from family gatherings. I can only take just so much people time before I’m exhausted. I’ve become an expert at leaving places without anyone realizing I’ve left.
This is spot on. When I was a kid I used to get so stressed out about when the phone rang, now my phone is just always on silent. I've red books on serial killers, forensics, chakras, meditation, search and rescue, bushcraft, animal behaviour, quantum physics etc lol. Also went to school for natural science, massage and firefighting. I learn in patterns, I never understood how people don't. I am definitely a slow learner. I will make all the mistakes at the beginning until I see the pattern and my brain does a thing and it clicks, then I go past my peers. I also run into door frames lol This is nice, thanks!
I agree with all that you have stated here. I especially hate the phone. This was very problematic for me when I worked in sales. I had to talk myself into taking a block of time to return calls. I much prefer one on one conversations in person. My partner is an INTP and avoids eye contact, this used to really bother me until we both learned about personality types. Now I know not to peer into his soul every time we have a conversation.
What we should do from my research... 😂 I love it. So relatable. Ideal amount of eye contact is SO something I might have researched and nobody else would really have wanted to hear about it.
My latest research obsessions are all health and aging related. I have some unexplained health stuff going on and research helps calm my anxiety about it. But I am constantly researching everything and anything! Not always very deep, just enough to satisfy my curiosity. I love learning new stuff.
I agree Heather, the eye contact thing is a very “INFJ” thing to look up, lol. Thanks for watching!
Jay
Very accurate-- except I was a quick learner in school. As an adult, I have had people think I was a slow learner. Past research topics: History: Revolutionary War, Civil War & Antebellum period--particularly black soldiers and/or supernatural events and the civil rights movement; home improvement & decor, fashion; frugality & finance
Love those topics! Thank you for watching and sharing!
Jay
My daughter hates it when I start talking to myself. It drives her nuts. After 43 years, you’d think she’d be used to it by now.
I used to run into walls and doors and fall/slip from/on stairs a lot in childhood... But now I have successfully got a hang of it... almost. I am always extra careful on stairs...
Thank you! I've always felt like an alien here. Especially in high school, where people would be on the same page having a loud conversation and laughing, I was over on the side thinking, "What? Why is that so funny or interesting?" I like deep conversations. Nothing surface level.
Talk to us about getting past a break up.
That's a tough one for us INFJs, I'll put it in my topics list.
Jay
@@INFJcircle A deep spiral. Just wondering if everything is okay.
Right now I am obsessing over mother Theresa after listening to a podcast called “the turning”.. it’s fascinating and non INFJ’s in my life have a hard time understanding that I FEEL things about this so deeply inside that I can’t just shake it off! Good to know it’s “normal”.. 😊
Yep it’s normal. Just went through Napoleon, and now on David Hackworth. LOL. I’m on a military kick again right now.
Jay
I have always talked to myself! I’m so thrilled to discover I’m not alone!!! Yay!
Woah. I found another one of me. 🤔 To an absolute t on every point. The binge learning, phone phobia, talk to themselves. Damn. My mind is blown. Subbed.
Edit: walking into door frames bc you were thinking about something. 😂😂😂 All the time. Like it just jumps out at you and snaps you back to the moment. Happens at least once a week.
Glad you found the channel and enjoyed the video. Happy to have you on board!
Jay
I have run from being an INFJ for decades, after a couple of videos it is hard for me to not stop and accept who I am
Me: answers my own questions ...aloud.
Nope. I'm not schiz. I'm Infj.
What I have in common: stare and stairs! I sometimes stare at something or someone, maybe it's just because I'm looking at some interesting detail, I'm completely absorbed in catching everything about the most silly of things, like a pretty color on a shirt. I get that can be upsetting, like I'm judging or something like that, but really I'm not judging anything. Reguarding stairs: I probably can beat the world record in going downstairs slowly when the stairs appear to be slippery.