See I was thinking I may be an INTP it was always my result, but the amount of narcissistic ESTP I tend too attract makes me think of me being actually INFJ.
To the point where you eventually get really super duper tired of communicating much at all unless you know your understood. Karate taught me to not waste energy.
@@Wellch a sincere thank you 🙏🏼 from me. INFP’s are often misunderstood also as you operate on what is you most passionate values. And often they don’t line up with others as our country and culture rewards the extroverts…
Я перестала расстраиваться из-за того что меня не понимают.. У каждого человека свой мир, свои ощущения и это нормально.. Они меня не поймут а часто пытаюсь понять всех)
The hardest thing to accept is how the most loving, caring, empathetic, nuturing, loyal, honest, and patient people are treated like worthless human beings. People are losing their humanity at a rapid pace. Sadly, we can expect more of this. So many people have become heartless and cruel. Matthew 24:12 did warn us. May God bless all of you
I tried to be those things and I’d like to be like that but people are like velociraptors right now. So I’m trying to not die on the street instead. We’re in the last days ✝️🕯🙏💜🕊 Please get right with the Lord Jesus. I’m being heavily persecuted by human beings. They disdain me. The system is going down. And the Holy Spirit has shown me that the tree of the knowledge of evil is coming down. God is axing it…
@@deborahwales1717 Who could forget that? His suffering was more than any of us could ever imagine. He is the reason that we can have eternal life with Him. Our suffering is nothing compared to His. He is our only hope. God bless
That look on someone’s face when we instantly see,… opps….. too deep. This one is shallow swimmer… and then I quietly back away. .. always makes me kind of laugh inside. Oh well…I know I’m intense. I like it this way.
There was a time in my life when I was afraid to look people in the eyes because I knew that they can see that I can "read" them, that "I know" who they really are. It was so weird and tiresome that after a while I decided that this is who I am and if they are ok with the way they are then I can also afford to be myself.
Believe what he says about narcissists!!!!!! I just realized about 3 years ago that I've been surrounded by these monsters forever. I wish I would have known sooner, but at least I did find out. INFJs are like a fresh carcass to these buzzards - an absolute delight. Thanks Jay! I love this channel.
Yeah, I realized I needed to block out EVERYONE from my life for a time. Now I'm super careful about who I let get close and by close I mean I don't share much. It's so much easier now! I have the space to indulge what I love and what I want my life to be. It's
All I would like is for someone to listen to me for once in my life as deeply as I listen to them ,that would be a huge blessing you know I am not as retarded as people thi k but it is hard to put feelings and pattern into words
we, as INFJs can be many of these things, aside from the intro/extravert divide. we're not immune to ego and selfishness. but the differences are in self-analysis, self-correction, and 'higher' or personal standards of morality and ethics.
I scored as an INFJ and I can relate to a lot here. However because my kids are now older and I’m widowed I’m alone a lot. I really struggle with loneliness. Some days it’s very painful.
I'm sure that's deeply painful for you dear, have you tried keeping a few lovely animal companions &/or volunteering?It may help give you more feelings of purpose & help you forge a meaningful bond or 2🫂❤️🩹.
Try a hobby like painting or photography. You get into nature (or wherever) and interact somewhat with people but within a context. You can then spend time later reviewing your work.....All takes time away from feeling alone.
Book club helped me through a lonely time. The love of reading and deep thinking shared with others of a similar nature but with a time limit on socializing. My cup of tea!
Holy crap this is SO spot-on! My issue wasn’t with authority it was hypercritical, micromanaging, ego-driven personalities promoted up the chain. So glad I left that high-stress world. My nervous system is so much happier! 😊
I've said several times, not knowing how else to explain it, "If there's a toxic person in my proximity, they'll seek me out, like a moth to a flame." I know everyone wants to think they're the rarest, but I'm here to tell ya, it's actually pretty traumatizing. SOOO much unwanted attention. And not wanting unnecessary attention doesn't make you a sociopath. It just means the person seeks internal peace VS external validation, and neither are inherently good or bad. They just are.
@@sunnithrasher omg this is me and there's no denying it. My best friend Zack was also an infj and went through the exact same thing. It's real as the sunrise, and people wonder why we would much prefer to stay in our house! I so get you.
These five types all have one thing in common with their dislike of me: I don't like them, either. And since I can see them coming a mile away, they usually don't get much chance to annoy me.
I think being a male INFJ that's comfortable in his own skin, self-reliant, very independent, warm, private with a heighten psychological prowess (understanding human nature on a profound level) gave me an air of mysteriousness with most women, made me exert less energy just by being myself and attracted the same women my extroverted alpha male ex-friend did by using a lot of "pounding his chest" energy, energy wasted on maintaining his social status and putting on & maintaining his false mask, and it made him resentful of me.
Lol insecure bastards they can only think with their hormones and can’t hold a conversation, nor can they see any thing in more than one dimension! The machismo dimension is all their souls know.
#3 “But don’t worry, the feeling is mutual.” ROFL that really made me have to pause the video while I laughed. Gosh its so true and the other person never even considers we may feel the same!
I also have a lot of empathy, compassion. And drawn to kind hearts and hurting people. Strangers seem better with it. But people I feel should know me, should believe there is no agenda, conditions nor expectations. And they have hard time with or communicating what they want. And I do not find many people I can have a deep thought or feeling conversations with. Most are just surface level.
The agenda thing is big. People often do tend to think we’re trying to get something from them just because we’re nice to them. Thanks for the comment.
You are the ONLY INFJ channel that as resonated with me and I am excited to gain new insights. I always assume when people take the time to have a conversation with me, they are telling me truth and facts. And I am very observant about nonverbal behavior, but I didn't realize that there were people fearing me for this fact. I am a teacher and I have noticed that there are haters and avoidant people in administration that choose not to engage with me when all I want is truth and greater good. You have my interest "INFJ circle", I look forward to more!! Thank you!!!
Definitely true about the narcissist. Another personality that I clash with pretty bad are the self-righteous "holier than thou" types. I suppose this would fall under 2 and 3 the most. I don't deal with hypocrisy and hypocrites well, and the feeling is usually mutual. LOL!
The perfectionist critical people not liking us and us NOT liking them either is SO true in the workplace! It made me literally 😂! I'm glad you're back❤
This is so true, especially people looking for something to nitpick. The filet mignon example is spot on about a narcissist, they recognize the INFJ as a caring person and it's game on.
This video explained the basics of who I am...we're a rare breed especially in this day & age where getting what you can get out of others, being shallow, and getting attention at all costs has become a widespread mantra.The biggest things I've had to work on are educating myself to have better discernment to avoid narcissistic types & how to be more practical with the here and now as well as allowing my mind to focus on the larger picture at the same time like I've always done.I'm happy to say being educated & having a strong ability to read others has helped tremendously with repelling narcissistic types😁👍🏻👍🏻.
I would like to add #6 that's the motor mouth that just won't shut up even after they are told to be quiet. I ended up screaming at a prison I worked with to shut up in no uncertain terms. She kept silent till our shift ended.
Ahh I see. I wondered why so many people didn't like me. I was curious about it. But now it's been explained like this: the superficial extrovert, the control freak, the narcissist it seems maybe they're just not very genuine or nice people. I have to say I have a shield of steel against narcissists now, so much so they don't even bother with me. It was all about how I used language especially at the beginning of the relationship.
1. The Superficial Extrovert - :19 2. The Control Freak- 2:37 3. The Highly Critical Perfectionist 2:50 4. The Overly Practical Realist - 4:57 5. The Narcissist 6:30
Wow...excellent vid.! You have a talent/skill to do what you do. Always, and I mean always I get something new and positive from your vid.s or newsletter!
Management gave their underlings this test several years back, like 25, maybe. I recently found the results of this test when cleaning out the past. There it was. I was a INFJ. Interesting to me that it was only recently that I found this. It's been buried for years. I have been telling myself, look for synchronicity. I married a narcissist. 45 years in I divorced him. tickled that you popped up this morning. Thak you and yes, I will watch.
Very high sensing & very high judging individuals (SJ’s) drive me insane. My interpretation of this type of person is that they are not very well balanced people and are excellent at task specific professions/jobs used as a tool. The unhealthiest of this variety is usually egocentric.
@@INFJcircle You missed the avoidant after the narcissist .. 🤭 its good to have you back just don't leave it two months but I understand I get like that and need to unplug ..
Thank you so much for this video. So much of this is true and I just learned to accept it. It is so much easier to cultivate the inner world than constantly trying to cater to the outside world.
Wow i like how you're always yourself in these videos. The jokes, the sarcasm, and the you that you are. I wish i could be more free with myself also. I tend to be so stiff or fake that even i notice it. Maybe i can when i get older(I'm 19 now and college is exhausting) anyway great video good to have you back❤. Could you maybe do a video on how to improve communication skills and build lasting friendships in the future.😊 I tend to get paranoid and don't let anyone in as I've been hurt ALOT before
Omg!!! I could not possibly imagine feeling the need to go out into loud noisy polluted chaotic potentially dangerous streets and crowds to recharge my batteries. WTH thats crazy.
The streets late at night are so calm and cool and QUIET. I live in a city with a LOT of trees, so you can see raccoons, skunks, possums. I love the streets when everyone else is in bed.
I was stuck with CBT and self-help books explanations about social anxiety - where it is explained that we MUST socialize in order to be mentally healthy - but CBT does not speak what happens when there are predatory personalities around.
Same for me, my reaction was always the problem, but never the fact people treated me horrible. I am so tired of any therapy after years of trying to work on myself with a CBT therapist who can't " see " 😞😬
Unfortunately user Piepe deleted his her comment, I only saw fraction of it and it sounded good. He talked about reading cbt book by founder and that we need to understand trauma.
I have to laugh at this video...according to the enneagram I am a perfectionist oddball ESTJ....4 strikes against me lol. I only know 1 INFJ and I love working with her! We have had some great conversations! We recognize that we are very different from each other but I love that we csn appreciate and enjoy each other's strengths. So who knows
I would add- social climbers. Narcissists are often (or perhaps exclusively) this type of person. They see society as hierarchical, as made up of “lessers” and “betters”. If they’re not at the top of that hierarchy, they’ll be anxious to get there; if they are, they’ll be anxious to stay there and may become overly paranoid about threats to their power (control freaks may be in this category, too). Such people will invariably clock the INFJ as weak, someone they can push around, simply because the INFJ isn’t interested in the rat race. This often leads to a punctured ego, as the INFJ is very good at seeing through attempts to self-aggrandise or “flex” with status symbols, money, looks, etc. and isn’t impressed. INFJs aren’t necessarily ascetics, but they don’t think possessions are a good substitute for character, and that frustrates competitive, materialistic people for whom a person’s worth is bound up in what they own.
@INFJcircle Yep... Solitude has been my answer, but the neighbors knock to barrow something all the time. I wonder if they what I am doing they need a ounce of encouragement, but let me this... I am tried of people thinking I am crazy, so sleepers wake up!
I love your channel man. You are another one of me. I've been "strange" my whole life before I even knew "personality type" was a thing. I found a few INFJ channels but your channel - you are truly a bother from another mother as they say. Thank you so much for taking the time to make your channel. Ps - another of your vids a while ago, you mentioned "walking into walls" due to being lost in our thoughts. Man I almost fell out of my chair as I accidentally shoulder check door frames at least once a week. Awesome. 🎉
I agree on all accounts, and am really affected badly by criticism especially being brought to task about anything, somehow it is even physically painful.
I just left a highly paid job after a few months, because of micro managing and not allowing me time for planning. I felt this like a carrying around an elephant every day. So glad that I made it out the other side. I feel heard here!
I'm so sick and tired of feeling inherently wrong like some kind of cosmic mutant.....I'm afraid of being a narc because "I know it's not me and it's THEM!" sounds so wrong in my head...but my heart is like TRUUUUTH. I live in a small town so it's super discouraging....no intelligent talk, no depth in any relationships (it's like adults stuck in HS )....a string of bosses who hire me because of my versatility and well roundedness...but then they attempt to micromanage me to death until I can't take any more and go insane and rage quit. I just want to feel like I'm GOOD and beautiful and helpful just for being who I am. I used to be so timid and implode to save feelings. In my 40s I have found that I have a short fuse with narcissism. My mother and ex-husband ....karmic vampires.
New subscriber here! Every video I’ve watched (so far only a handful) is spot on! I definitely need & want to join an INFJ support group. I’m 51, going through a divorce & understanding myself through learning more is really helping! Again, thank you & to fellow AMAZING INFJ’s, all the best! ❤
I started making mistakes on purpose to get them to stop celebrating any mistake I made. I would let em know that their reaction let me know that I must not make enough mistakes.
Sometimes the best thing to do is to be strait up with these people, let them know where you stand and ask them strait up what they want from you and that you think they are just being a bully. Then go from there. Sometimes just standing up against them will give them what they want.
To people that don’t understand us we can seem to be up to something. And standing up and being strong with your boundaries will show them exactly where you’re at. But being passive and what we think is giving them another chance and brushing it off, to them will just heighten there anxiety towards you.
Wish I had known before that I wasn't weird but that I simply have a rare personality. Being an INFJ is hard, we take life too seriously, our feelings are too deep for this world. Nobody really gets us, our good intentions are often twisted. It's a very lone journey. To be honest, I'm tired
My friends, see where the opposite of us, those we don’t understand and get along with easily have value and you will find a better life. Do not lower your boundaries but appreciate them as a twist of zest in life.
There're so many people whom i wanna maintain relationships with, but once i realised they belong to the 5 groups i really can't stay with them anymore. And if can, I'll choose to break away from them completely.
It's surprising how much of this I relate to, even though I'm an INTJ. I was here just researching, so I can give the best portrayal for the main character in the book I'm writing. Who is - as you might have guessed - an INFJ. With people reading skills that I could never dream of attaining. I freely admit that my people reading skills are best described by the epithet of 'oblivious'. It'd be a nice talent to have, though.
@jadakowers590 atm it's called New Venus ( it's Fantasy Sci-Fi), but I want to change that to something more interest grabbing. My talent doesn't lie in the world of succinctness. It still has several drafts to go through - not yet ready for beta readers - public perusal for the purpose of getting feedback/critiques.
I used to think I was more INFP, but now I realize I did not know myself in full consciousness in those days and dishonestly, or I guess honestly for the way I thought of myself, answered some of the questions. Indeed, your talk is one of a now familiar tendencies for me to stumble upon videos that clarify things I began studying in the 90's, but the small local community of people only had a limited number of ideas. These days I find the J to be more potent, I'm not the gentle lamb but the beauty and the beast inside. This is what freaks people out cause a common person with a beast as strong as mine has not the introspection to keep that power kind and in service to good and balanced people, as you say, the ones who can behave with cosmic maturity and relate with mutual respect and the Pax Templi of old times becomes the inner temple of light the ones with the discipline of 'know thyself' applied to life and living. I just can't jive with the Ram Dass crowd who can only identify with love and light while the dark and crass is utterly shoved into a non integral shadow box that can freak them out and drag them into suffering for a lack of martial training and enough imagination for evil so you can protect yourself from it. That's the kind of spiritual bypassing that drove me to think I had a P, where I remember being me as far back as 1.2 years old, speaking the local language, meditating, not fussing like a baby, in my crib on the interesting shapes of the mobile spinning above. A P at the tail end is someone unbalanced in my sense of things, but then it takes all of us. The P lets too much noise in as I read it. But then, other body shapes don't have the capacity for strength, so they have to play their energy differently.
I know..one of my classmates is narcissist..i feel like she is draining my energy ...she is always thinking about her feelings without thinking about others..alway wants attention..want to become superior... want people to always talk about her..and whatever he said about narcissist!!! .her behaviour is like that.she always want to be my friend but..as an INFJ i don't like that behaviour and i don't want to make the same mistake again.. At last i want to say that .. Jay your video is too relatable ..and i like it to know more about myself.... thankyou
as an INFJ, I know I put a lot of thought in what I do. So when someone micromanages me and tells me I'm not going by the rules, I get annoyed, because I've put a lot of consideration and thought to what I'm doing, not just for the sake of rebellion. Anyone else feel this?
Agree. We worked very hard and yet people don’t like the way we do things. Also, we often do things really well and that intimidates people and causes them to nitpick and attack us.
I leave places that micromanage. I have been fortunate and have had some excellent places I have worked. And they protect me for too many meetings, toxic groups. But I connect to customers and customers know I care. To the point of turning down the executive and wait for me.
Another word for a overly practical realist: Materialism. Nothing that isn’t bound by the five senses or measurable by an instrument or codified by a traditional process is considered ‘real’. To a Materialist, intuition is baseless superstition. They may see an INFJ as ‘dangerous’ because we refuse to be weighed and measured and clamped in a box.
I’m a more assertive spiritualized INFJ. I do get exhausted from more extroverted people. But I am athletic & enjoy sports for fun every now and then. Gotta tap into the SE function somehow. I just don’t care for who wins or loses, or having small talk about it.
I hate being micromanaged, but I very often catch myself "micromanaging" others, but it's out of care or because I found myself in a similar situation at one point and found an easier way and want to help.
We are absolute magnets for narcissists, our morals, values, literally every single thing about us. We should be taught boundaries before walking.....
So true!
They appeal to our sympathies. I tend to see the wounded child.
Yesssssss! What she said!!!!!
See I was thinking I may be an INTP it was always my result, but the amount of narcissistic ESTP I tend too attract makes me think of me being actually INFJ.
That would necessitate having parents who understand what boundaries are ....
Being misunderstood is the worst feeling ever for me.
Most of us, INFP, try to understand you….we try.
Agree, it’s terrible.
To the point where you eventually get really super duper tired of communicating much at all unless you know your understood. Karate taught me to not waste energy.
@@Wellch a sincere thank you 🙏🏼 from me. INFP’s are often misunderstood also as you operate on what is you most passionate values. And often they don’t line up with others as our country and culture rewards the extroverts…
Я перестала расстраиваться из-за того что меня не понимают.. У каждого человека свой мир, свои ощущения и это нормально.. Они меня не поймут а часто пытаюсь понять всех)
I can't stand the superficial extrovert either. So the feeling is mutual.
It’s just the superficial part that bothers me…
Vehemently!
💯
The hardest thing to accept is how the most loving, caring, empathetic, nuturing, loyal, honest, and patient people are treated like worthless human beings. People are losing their humanity at a rapid pace. Sadly, we can expect more of this. So many people have become heartless and cruel. Matthew 24:12 did warn us. May God bless all of you
I tried to be those things and I’d like to be like that but people are like velociraptors right now. So I’m trying to not die on the street instead. We’re in the last days ✝️🕯🙏💜🕊 Please get right with the Lord Jesus. I’m being heavily persecuted by human beings. They disdain me. The system is going down. And the Holy Spirit has shown me that the tree of the knowledge of evil is coming down. God is axing it…
@@lisaraymond6193 Amen 🙏💯
Amen
Don't forget that jeshua was the first to be treated this way. The author and perfecter of our faith.
@@deborahwales1717 Who could forget that? His suffering was more than any of us could ever imagine. He is the reason that we can have eternal life with Him. Our suffering is nothing compared to His. He is our only hope. God bless
That look on someone’s face when we instantly see,… opps….. too deep. This one is shallow swimmer… and then I quietly back away. .. always makes me kind of laugh inside. Oh well…I know I’m intense. I like it this way.
There was a time in my life when I was afraid to look people in the eyes because I knew that they can see that I can "read" them, that "I know" who they really are. It was so weird and tiresome that after a while I decided that this is who I am and if they are ok with the way they are then I can also afford to be myself.
Very true' 🎉
😂 the deepness divide from Clay Arnall's infj video. I know a fellow infj would know that too😂
I've been misunderstood my whole life, so I'm immune to that now, and I keep going my way!
THat’s exactly what you have to do. :)
Yes!!!🙌
Same here..
Hi, I'm 66 yrs and held back all my life and someone on this planet is going to finally hear what I have to say.
My mom started telling me as a kid "not everyone can be friends" and I have to remind myself of that often
1. The superficial extrovert
2. The control freak
3. The highly critical perfectionist
4. The overly practical realist
5. The narcissist
Is it possible Im a superficial introvert😅
@@Brosepha
Why not? 😁 🐩
Believe what he says about narcissists!!!!!! I just realized about 3 years ago that I've been surrounded by these monsters forever. I wish I would have known sooner, but at least I did find out.
INFJs are like a fresh carcass to these buzzards - an absolute delight.
Thanks Jay! I love this channel.
Yeah, I realized I needed to block out EVERYONE from my life for a time. Now I'm super careful about who I let get close and by close I mean I don't share much. It's so much easier now! I have the space to indulge what I love and what I want my life to be. It's
Welcome!I wish I’d have known earlier too.
Yes, me too! It took me 30 years to understand and accept that some people can be that evil!
We fully repel some people and inherently earn their personal disgust. Once we figure this out we can commence to not caring about it.
Precisely. This is where our peace and freedom lies.
Being ostracised is a positive move for us. 🤍
I felt so seen when David Banner/Hulk said “Don’t make me angry, you won’t like me when I’m angry.”
All I would like is for someone to listen to me for once in my life as deeply as I listen to them ,that would be a huge blessing you know I am not as retarded as people thi k but it is hard to put feelings and pattern into words
we, as INFJs can be many of these things, aside from the intro/extravert divide. we're not immune to ego and selfishness. but the differences are in self-analysis, self-correction, and 'higher' or personal standards of morality and ethics.
I scored as an INFJ and I can relate to a lot here. However because my kids are now older and I’m widowed I’m alone a lot. I really struggle with loneliness. Some days it’s very painful.
I'm sure that's deeply painful for you dear, have you tried keeping a few lovely animal companions &/or volunteering?It may help give you more feelings of purpose & help you forge a meaningful bond or 2🫂❤️🩹.
Try a hobby like painting or photography. You get into nature (or wherever) and interact somewhat with people but within a context. You can then spend time later reviewing your work.....All takes time away from feeling alone.
🫂 hugs to you,,,
Book club helped me through a lonely time. The love of reading and deep thinking shared with others of a similar nature but with a time limit on socializing. My cup of tea!
Holy crap this is SO spot-on! My issue wasn’t with authority it was hypercritical, micromanaging, ego-driven personalities promoted up the chain. So glad I left that high-stress world. My nervous system is so much happier! 😊
It can be a killer for sure. Glad you escaped.
INTJ female here. LOOOOVE my INFJ's. Some of the few people that can keep up with me. Excellent conversations❤❤❤
Yesss!! Same here! Enfp.
INFJ here who had been with an INTJ for 23 years. We have so much in common!
I've said several times, not knowing how else to explain it, "If there's a toxic person in my proximity, they'll seek me out, like a moth to a flame." I know everyone wants to think they're the rarest, but I'm here to tell ya, it's actually pretty traumatizing. SOOO much unwanted attention. And not wanting unnecessary attention doesn't make you a sociopath. It just means the person seeks internal peace VS external validation, and neither are inherently good or bad. They just are.
@@sunnithrasher omg this is me and there's no denying it. My best friend Zack was also an infj and went through the exact same thing. It's real as the sunrise, and people wonder why we would much prefer to stay in our house! I so get you.
@johnnycorn7225 ❤️👍😊🤘
@@sunnithrasher I totally relate, if there was anyone in need of anything the first person they seeked was me! And I was unable to assert boundaries
Found my tribe! Thank you ❤
These five types all have one thing in common with their dislike of me: I don't like them, either. And since I can see them coming a mile away, they usually don't get much chance to annoy me.
This is what happens when we're educated & have honed our discernment with others😉👍🏻👍🏻.
I think being a male INFJ that's comfortable in his own skin, self-reliant, very independent, warm, private with a heighten psychological prowess (understanding human nature on a profound level) gave me an air of mysteriousness with most women, made me exert less energy just by being myself and attracted the same women my extroverted alpha male ex-friend did by using a lot of "pounding his chest" energy, energy wasted on maintaining his social status and putting on & maintaining his false mask, and it made him resentful of me.
Yup.Thats me. Grateful for it. Liberating.
Lol insecure bastards they can only think with their hormones and can’t hold a conversation, nor can they see any thing in more than one dimension! The machismo dimension is all their souls know.
i wish i could meet an infj male :( can't stand the beefy machos
Perfectly articulated.
So true.
#3 “But don’t worry, the feeling is mutual.” ROFL that really made me have to pause the video while I laughed. Gosh its so true and the other person never even considers we may feel the same!
😂I’m sure every INFJ has had that feeling!
I also have a lot of empathy, compassion. And drawn to kind hearts and hurting people. Strangers seem better with it. But people I feel should know me, should believe there is no agenda, conditions nor expectations.
And they have hard time with or communicating what they want. And I do not find many people I can have a deep thought or feeling conversations with. Most are just surface level.
The agenda thing is big. People often do tend to think we’re trying to get something from them just because we’re nice to them. Thanks for the comment.
You are the ONLY INFJ channel that as resonated with me and I am excited to gain new insights. I always assume when people take the time to have a conversation with me, they are telling me truth and facts. And I am very observant about nonverbal behavior, but I didn't realize that there were people fearing me for this fact. I am a teacher and I have noticed that there are haters and avoidant people in administration that choose not to engage with me when all I want is truth and greater good. You have my interest "INFJ circle", I look forward to more!! Thank you!!!
I’m so glad the videos are helping you! Welcome to the circle!
MISSED YOU!!!
🤗
Definitely true about the narcissist. Another personality that I clash with pretty bad are the self-righteous "holier than thou" types. I suppose this would fall under 2 and 3 the most. I don't deal with hypocrisy and hypocrites well, and the feeling is usually mutual. LOL!
The perfectionist critical people not liking us and us NOT liking them either is SO true in the workplace! It made me literally 😂! I'm glad you're back❤
“The feeling is mutual” 😂❤
This is so true, especially people looking for something to nitpick. The filet mignon example is spot on about a narcissist, they recognize the INFJ as a caring person and it's game on.
100% spot on. I'm a narcissist magnet. I have learned though to shut them immedietly out.
Congrats! Once you learn that - that hold no more power over you.
Hey, nice to see a new video! Thank you! 🎉
You are very welcome!
This video explained the basics of who I am...we're a rare breed especially in this day & age where getting what you can get out of others, being shallow, and getting attention at all costs has become a widespread mantra.The biggest things I've had to work on are educating myself to have better discernment to avoid narcissistic types & how to be more practical with the here and now as well as allowing my mind to focus on the larger picture at the same time like I've always done.I'm happy to say being educated & having a strong ability to read others has helped tremendously with repelling narcissistic types😁👍🏻👍🏻.
I would like to add #6 that's the motor mouth that just won't shut up even after they are told to be quiet. I ended up screaming at a prison I worked with to shut up in no uncertain terms. She kept silent till our shift ended.
First, thank You and I say hello from Poland
You are welcome. Great to have you here.
Cześć z Florydy! 🐩
My favorite channel about narcissism abuse and recovery is the Little Shaman healing podcast.
I am ENFP and just love the few INFJs that I know!! I adore their uniqueness and wish I could find more than the 3 I know!! ❤
I would love to find an ENFP. Complete soul partner. 🙏🏻
Ahh I see. I wondered why so many people didn't like me. I was curious about it. But now it's been explained like this: the superficial extrovert, the control freak, the narcissist it seems maybe they're just not very genuine or nice people. I have to say I have a shield of steel against narcissists now, so much so they don't even bother with me. It was all about how I used language especially at the beginning of the relationship.
1. The Superficial
Extrovert - :19
2. The Control
Freak- 2:37
3. The Highly
Critical
Perfectionist
2:50
4. The Overly
Practical
Realist - 4:57
5. The Narcissist
6:30
INFJ here 👋 and married to a micromanaging, perfectionist, overly practical control freak!!! Just another day in paradise 🏝️
I’m glad these types don’t like me because they’re the types I don’t like either, lol! I actually have a shirt that says, “ I am not for everyone “ 😂
This video definitely speaks to me. I have always thought of myself as a large or wide thinker. "Vision!", exactly.
You’re spot on…
😎👍
Facts!
So well explained.
Wow...excellent vid.! You have a talent/skill to do what you do. Always, and I mean always I get something new and positive from your vid.s or newsletter!
Thank you!🤗
Management gave their underlings this test several years back, like 25, maybe. I recently found the results of this test when cleaning out the past. There it was. I was a INFJ. Interesting to me that it was only recently that I found this. It's been buried for years. I have been telling myself, look for synchronicity. I married a narcissist. 45 years in I divorced him. tickled that you popped up this morning. Thak you and yes, I will watch.
So glad you found out welcome to the circle!
Very high sensing & very high judging individuals (SJ’s) drive me insane. My interpretation of this type of person is that they are not very well balanced people and are excellent at task specific professions/jobs used as a tool. The unhealthiest of this variety is usually egocentric.
Very interesting observation of unhealthy SJs. I agree.
Married to an ESTJ. He is not great at balance/moderation.
Welcome back its been a minute ..
Yes, it has, happy to be back.👍
@@INFJcircle You missed the avoidant after the narcissist .. 🤭 its good to have you back just don't leave it two months but I understand I get like that and need to unplug ..
Still one of my favorite channels. You know me well!
Yes, you are absolutely right.
Thanks for your video.
Thank you so much for this video. So much of this is true and I just learned to accept it. It is so much easier to cultivate the inner world than constantly trying to cater to the outside world.
I agree. It’s not worth the energy.
Your info hits home, and your delivery is utterly Delightful !!
Thank you very much 🤗
Sometimes it is good to have a simple and non-problematic friend, "shallow" in a good way, like having a mini-holiday from all the problems
True. But for like the duration of a RUclips short!😂😂
Wow i like how you're always yourself in these videos. The jokes, the sarcasm, and the you that you are. I wish i could be more free with myself also. I tend to be so stiff or fake that even i notice it. Maybe i can when i get older(I'm 19 now and college is exhausting) anyway great video good to have you back❤. Could you maybe do a video on how to improve communication skills and build lasting friendships in the future.😊 I tend to get paranoid and don't let anyone in as I've been hurt ALOT before
So happy I found this channel
Omg!!! I could not possibly imagine feeling the need to go out into loud noisy polluted chaotic potentially dangerous streets and crowds to recharge my batteries. WTH thats crazy.
The streets late at night are so calm and cool and QUIET. I live in a city with a LOT of trees, so you can see raccoons, skunks, possums. I love the streets when everyone else is in bed.
LOL! No kidding!
@@nancycronin551 I can definitely understand this I've had some great moments of introspection at night surrounded by some cool streets
I'm tired just thinking about it
I was stuck with CBT and self-help books explanations about social anxiety - where it is explained that we MUST socialize in order to be mentally healthy - but CBT does not speak what happens when there are predatory personalities around.
Same for me, my reaction was always the problem, but never the fact people treated me horrible. I am so tired of any therapy after years of trying to work on myself with a CBT therapist who can't " see " 😞😬
Unfortunately user Piepe deleted his her comment, I only saw fraction of it and it sounded good. He talked about reading cbt book by founder and that we need to understand trauma.
I have to laugh at this video...according to the enneagram I am a perfectionist oddball ESTJ....4 strikes against me lol.
I only know 1 INFJ and I love working with her! We have had some great conversations! We recognize that we are very different from each other but I love that we csn appreciate and enjoy each other's strengths. So who knows
If you appreciate differences and can work with that, then you’re not gonna have any trouble with INFJ‘s! Thanks for being awesome.
I would add- social climbers. Narcissists are often (or perhaps exclusively) this type of person. They see society as hierarchical, as made up of “lessers” and “betters”. If they’re not at the top of that hierarchy, they’ll be anxious to get there; if they are, they’ll be anxious to stay there and may become overly paranoid about threats to their power (control freaks may be in this category, too). Such people will invariably clock the INFJ as weak, someone they can push around, simply because the INFJ isn’t interested in the rat race. This often leads to a punctured ego, as the INFJ is very good at seeing through attempts to self-aggrandise or “flex” with status symbols, money, looks, etc. and isn’t impressed. INFJs aren’t necessarily ascetics, but they don’t think possessions are a good substitute for character, and that frustrates competitive, materialistic people for whom a person’s worth is bound up in what they own.
Hi Jay… Nice to see you again..😁
You too! 😎
You got it right on every aspect. 👏
Jay, thank you for your work! 😊
My pleasure!
I agree with if they only took our advice, I gave up talking till I was blue in the face... No one listens 😔
Yeah, it’s better to conserve energy for the people actually seeking change. Even then, it’s often futile sadly.
@INFJcircle Yep... Solitude has been my answer, but the neighbors knock to barrow something all the time. I wonder if they what I am doing they need a ounce of encouragement, but let me this... I am tried of people thinking I am crazy, so sleepers wake up!
*Heeey My Brother From Another Mother* 🙃 *Thanks For Being So Darn Awesome* 😢
Thanks my friend 😆🙏
I love your channel man. You are another one of me. I've been "strange" my whole life before I even knew "personality type" was a thing. I found a few INFJ channels but your channel - you are truly a bother from another mother as they say. Thank you so much for taking the time to make your channel.
Ps - another of your vids a while ago, you mentioned "walking into walls" due to being lost in our thoughts. Man I almost fell out of my chair as I accidentally shoulder check door frames at least once a week. Awesome. 🎉
I’m so glad I’m not the only one. 👋 🚪 thanks for the message, means a lot. appreciate you being in the circle!
Well yes...the feeling is mutual! And yes...we kind of like it that way.
I agree on all accounts, and am really affected badly by criticism especially being brought to task about anything, somehow it is even physically painful.
Spot on ❤
Narcissists were my downfall at one stage. As soon as I realized my needs mattered too, they all fled.
Good to see you back🙂
Thank you!
I just left a highly paid job after a few months, because of micro managing and not allowing me time for planning. I felt this like a carrying around an elephant every day. So glad that I made it out the other side. I feel heard here!
I am married to a control freak. "If you would do exactly as i say, we would be happy". He's also a narcissist. Life can be hard.
I’m an infp and relate to all of these
I'm so sick and tired of feeling inherently wrong like some kind of cosmic mutant.....I'm afraid of being a narc because "I know it's not me and it's THEM!" sounds so wrong in my head...but my heart is like TRUUUUTH.
I live in a small town so it's super discouraging....no intelligent talk, no depth in any relationships (it's like adults stuck in HS )....a string of bosses who hire me because of my versatility and well roundedness...but then they attempt to micromanage me to death until I can't take any more and go insane and rage quit.
I just want to feel like I'm GOOD and beautiful and helpful just for being who I am.
I used to be so timid and implode to save feelings. In my 40s I have found that I have a short fuse with narcissism.
My mother and ex-husband ....karmic vampires.
I may be INFP but I still relate a lot to this channel!
Awesome - you’re welcome here!
Jay! You’re back!
Yes! 😎
New subscriber here! Every video I’ve watched (so far only a handful) is spot on! I definitely need & want to join an INFJ support group. I’m 51, going through a divorce & understanding myself through learning more is really helping! Again, thank you & to fellow AMAZING INFJ’s, all the best! ❤
I started making mistakes on purpose to get them to stop celebrating any mistake I made. I would let em know that their reaction let me know that I must not make enough mistakes.
Sometimes the best thing to do is to be strait up with these people, let them know where you stand and ask them strait up what they want from you and that you think they are just being a bully. Then go from there. Sometimes just standing up against them will give them what they want.
To people that don’t understand us we can seem to be up to something. And standing up and being strong with your boundaries will show them exactly where you’re at. But being passive and what we think is giving them another chance and brushing it off, to them will just heighten there anxiety towards you.
Wish I had known before that I wasn't weird but that I simply have a rare personality. Being an INFJ is hard, we take life too seriously, our feelings are too deep for this world. Nobody really gets us, our good intentions are often twisted. It's a very lone journey. To be honest, I'm tired
I can understand that. Hang in there, make sure you join us here in the circle. Stay 💪
@@INFJcircle Thank you, sharing does help. Is there any way we could meet as a community online? For example through Reddit?
My friends, see where the opposite of us, those we don’t understand and get along with easily have value and you will find a better life. Do not lower your boundaries but appreciate them as a twist of zest in life.
FML. Holy sh!t. You hit that out of the park--
There're so many people whom i wanna maintain relationships with, but once i realised they belong to the 5 groups i really can't stay with them anymore. And if can, I'll choose to break away from them completely.
Thankyou for the Video !
You hit the mail on the head! Everything you said was so correct!
I think we infjs are perfectionists also!😂so its contradictory
It's surprising how much of this I relate to, even though I'm an INTJ. I was here just researching, so I can give the best portrayal for the main character in the book I'm writing. Who is - as you might have guessed - an INFJ. With people reading skills that I could never dream of attaining. I freely admit that my people reading skills are best described by the epithet of 'oblivious'. It'd be a nice talent to have, though.
Please give us the name of your book. 📕🐩
@jadakowers590 atm it's called New Venus ( it's Fantasy Sci-Fi), but I want to change that to something more interest grabbing. My talent doesn't lie in the world of succinctness. It still has several drafts to go through - not yet ready for beta readers - public perusal for the purpose of getting feedback/critiques.
My advice, as an INTJ, is to just stop feeling lonely. Glad I was able to help, heh-heh.
I used to think I was more INFP, but now I realize I did not know myself in full consciousness in those days and dishonestly, or I guess honestly for the way I thought of myself, answered some of the questions. Indeed, your talk is one of a now familiar tendencies for me to stumble upon videos that clarify things I began studying in the 90's, but the small local community of people only had a limited number of ideas. These days I find the J to be more potent, I'm not the gentle lamb but the beauty and the beast inside. This is what freaks people out cause a common person with a beast as strong as mine has not the introspection to keep that power kind and in service to good and balanced people, as you say, the ones who can behave with cosmic maturity and relate with mutual respect and the Pax Templi of old times becomes the inner temple of light the ones with the discipline of 'know thyself' applied to life and living. I just can't jive with the Ram Dass crowd who can only identify with love and light while the dark and crass is utterly shoved into a non integral shadow box that can freak them out and drag them into suffering for a lack of martial training and enough imagination for evil so you can protect yourself from it. That's the kind of spiritual bypassing that drove me to think I had a P, where I remember being me as far back as 1.2 years old, speaking the local language, meditating, not fussing like a baby, in my crib on the interesting shapes of the mobile spinning above. A P at the tail end is someone unbalanced in my sense of things, but then it takes all of us. The P lets too much noise in as I read it. But then, other body shapes don't have the capacity for strength, so they have to play their energy differently.
I know..one of my classmates is narcissist..i feel like she is draining my energy ...she is always thinking about her feelings without thinking about others..alway wants attention..want to become superior... want people to always talk about her..and whatever he said about narcissist!!! .her behaviour is like that.she always want to be my friend but..as an INFJ i don't like that behaviour and i don't want to make the same mistake again..
At last i want to say that .. Jay your video is too relatable ..and i like it to know more about myself.... thankyou
Hello again, so happy to see you upload again. It's been a minute!
It has, happy to be back. 👍
@INFJcircle will we see more of you later on?
as an INFJ, I know I put a lot of thought in what I do. So when someone micromanages me and tells me I'm not going by the rules, I get annoyed, because I've put a lot of consideration and thought to what I'm doing, not just for the sake of rebellion. Anyone else feel this?
Agree. We worked very hard and yet people don’t like the way we do things. Also, we often do things really well and that intimidates people and causes them to nitpick and attack us.
I leave places that micromanage. I have been fortunate and have had some excellent places I have worked. And they protect me for too many meetings, toxic groups. But I connect to customers and customers know I care. To the point of turning down the executive and wait for me.
Yeah I quit being everyones free counsellor and I went no contact with everyone because they didnt want a friend.
Another word for a overly practical realist: Materialism. Nothing that isn’t bound by the five senses or measurable by an instrument or codified by a traditional process is considered ‘real’. To a Materialist, intuition is baseless superstition. They may see an INFJ as ‘dangerous’ because we refuse to be weighed and measured and clamped in a box.
Superb! What a fabulous explanation.
Mann please Talk HEAVY💪🏿👁️. I've been misunderstood my whole life. Living this reality is highly problematic for me. Black Sheep Life. Keep Shining.
Side note: your guns 💪🏻♥️👏🏼😊
Wise words buddy 👍😊. Thanks
Set boundaries you’ll see your real friends
Yayyyy! Glad to see you're back!
I’m a more assertive spiritualized INFJ. I do get exhausted from more extroverted people. But I am athletic & enjoy sports for fun every now and then. Gotta tap into the SE function somehow. I just don’t care for who wins or loses, or having small talk about it.
OMG why did I find this channel only now? finally
I hate being micromanaged, but I very often catch myself "micromanaging" others, but it's out of care or because I found myself in a similar situation at one point and found an easier way and want to help.