How to spot an INFJ or just me: I look before I leap. I stand at the back of the crowd. I never take the last cookie. Babies of all species draw my attention. I talk to animals and insects. I stare at clouds, birds and stars, but only when no one is watching. I forget to eat. I have difficulty selecting a favourite of anything. I care for all good people and would drop a boulder on a really bad person and not really give it a second thought. And if you spot me and call me out, I'll probably do the bolt. I'm BIGFOOT, or is it BATMAN, more likely The JOKER.
I definitely talk to animals, insects, worms, furniture, my reflection, my shadow, small household items... pretty much everything. Except people. I listen to people. Everything else listens to me. (right?)
Absolutely spot on! Regarding conversations with animals and insects (I converse with birds as well) if you are paying attention, and INFJ's do pay attention, those animals, insects and birds communicate back--usually more effectively than people. Hope you have a happy day. Take care.
@@marlenelindsey7638 Myself as well, as a child I would soak grass snakes caught in the sun on pavement(dried out but alive) in warm water and release them in the grass after a few minutes.
Same, I have never "door slammed" anyone. I figured it is the clickbait; make them feel powerful or special social media requirements. I have left it open and welcomed them to respectfully stay. Sadly my respect, boundaries, and desire for authenticity, as well as reciprocity has made for a mostly lonely life. I still never forget those that stayed awhile and left. Still not sold on MBTI fully but it so terrifyingly fits me and it sure would have been nice to know I was not broken in some deep way a few decades ago. It's still nice even today.
@@anthonyhoban673 I think it is better to be potentially lonely and have our boundaries, authenticity and peace. Anything else, however good still eventually disappoints and drains our energy.
@@anthonyhoban673 It's very rare, but I have. The scary part is that as I get older the easier it is to doorslam as I'm finding that I don't tolerate people's nonsense and disrespect nearly as well as I used to, and from what I have observed this seems to happen with other INFJs as well. Part of the problem is that our personality type is a magnet for narcissists and narcissistic abuse. Personally I have suffered a great deal of torment at the hands of narcissists in my past that I allowed into my space, and once I got wise to what was happening I started booting them back out of my life. The price of course is that life got lonlier, but it also became MUCH quieter and peaceful, so it was worth the trade IMO.
Just had to go through this 2 weeks ago. Co-worker will no longer ride with me because he doesn't want to die. I drove 100 down the highway in and out of traffic all while only driving with my knee
When I go to a party at someone's home, I greet the host warmly and then start looking for the bookcase. Bonus points if they have a den or study with loads of books.
That's also true! Some smell hacks: 1. Use disinfectant as air freshener -- especially when changing litter. Spray it in the air. Gently. I use spray bleach, spray hydrogen peroxide, some others. Don't spray the cats! Just the air. Watch out for bleach on the carpet or fabrics. 2. Take chlorophyll so your you-know-what doesn't stink. Deodorizes from the inside. I like Chloroxygen or chlorella. 3. Use a candle warmer so your scented candles last longer.
Yes. I am well known for my house smelling like "nothing". I hate artificial scents. I like fresh air and neutrality. I have enough information flying at me to interpret, think about, and absorb, I don't need smells also. 🫣
they key is to stop rescuing - you cannot do the work that belongs to someone else -- if you remember the 3 doorways into drama are 1) rescue without asking 2) revenge 3) saying yes when you mean no.......life becomes so much simpler. These are key for any INFJ.
@@kelleyrogers6013 It's better to be there/available if needed then pay attention to what the person is asking for. We're usually way too intense which makes people actually uncomfortable and builds in us resentment when it's not appreciated or understood. We're just too much.
@kelleyrogers6013 that annoys me too.. I'm an INTJ male, plus I'm christian ✝️ so whenever people come to me with a problem, I'm like, let's solve this here are solutions and go into a whole brainstorming session to help with their battles only for them to be like nah I don't care so much I'd rather just let it solve itself 😆
I'm an INFJ and I've always said, 'people come and go, but they always leave their music behind.' And they do, cause when I hear certain songs, I think of certain people. I can't help myself...even people I haven't spoken to for 30+ or more years.
I've always said that "Life is about who builds the better playlist" - I live in Baltimore = Tubthumping was what I was rocking to last week. My life long love has be American history in Baltimore, Maryland with my last name scribed into the top of the Battle Monument. I have given myself the right to remain silent and turned "Uprising" up a little louder now.
It's soooo embarrassing when somebody triggers me to break past my internal censors and launch into an unfiltered gush about one of my interests. It never ends well. I get that wide-eyed stare 😳like I just started talking in a foreign language or something. They were just not prepared for my soliloquy and dissertation on the subject. 😞
I have spent my INFJ life with an absolute LOVE of history in Baltimore, Maryland. Since the bridge collapse, I have been avoiding everyone except my friend, Baltimore Fats, who put my opinion out in a video. I know TOO MUCH about the American Bible Society for this to "just be an accident"...... I have given myself the right to remain silent - I don't need to be offending people 🤣😂
A few years ago I met a woman who was an INFJ (before I knew what one was) we got talking about gears on bikes, anouther friend was listening, and said it was like we were talking in anouther language. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, but she was way out my league.
One of my INFJ friends does this. Once he's off, he's off. Sometimes he'll apologize for talking so much, and I have to remind him every time how much I admire his passion. -INTJ
INFJ and scents .. it's a really interesting topic, as there are a few studies that our sense of smell can detect other people's emotional states. The sense of smell is the only sense out of those 5 that bypasses our brain's executive functioning. I truly believe our empathic nature is heavily connected to this aspect.
Now that's really interesting. Maybe that's why so many of us "get" animals, and they "get" us. I can always tell when another person is fibbing, not what they are fibbing about, always, but that they are. I thought it was mild mental telepathy.
My joke at work is that I go into Sephora multiple times a day, because I may not be able to afford to live that expensive smell..... but, damn it, I will sample it for free when I am on the clock. I can at least smell expensive at work lol Perfumes masks natural smells that trigger a sensory reaction. I can remember the smell of hay reminding me of my grandparent's farm, the smell of chickens in my old Baltimore neighborhood, the smell of cinnamon at the harbor from McCormick.... Oh the memories.
@@larrybradley3809 , I try hard to resist that! But, do you find that you can smell "death" on plasticy man-made fibres and you avoid those parts of the shop like the plague? Avoid some shops altogether because they smell so bad? Avoid certain isles in the big stores because they smell so bad? Can't understand how anyone can bear to wear that or walk there? Would far rather have far fewer clothes and shoes of far higher quality material than lots that reeks of death? And try to hold onto the good stuff for decades?
I’m obsessed with smell and I honestly thought all mothers could smell when their child is sick, as I always could. I also have a salt rock lamp and a scensie oil defuser thingy and a lot of incense 😅 And I have crystals and a rock collection on display in a beautiful wooden box that my younger son made for me 😊 And there are beautiful dried bouquets hanging all over my home. OH, and wind chimes in the porch. Very hippie dippy place. But when people I love give me beautiful things they made or got for me, what else am I supposed to do!?🤷🏻♀️ I should make seashell wind chimes this summer🤔
I'm an infj and don't like social gatherings but I always thank the host briefly & say goodbye. I also respond promptly to people in other ways like texts, even if it's something simple. lt's rude not to do these things.
Yes, the text/calls thing depends on the person and how much they’ve put me through. Sometimes you get caught in that in between phase where you know someone is raking advantage of you but you haven’t went so far as to ghost them yet. Thanks for the comment! Jay
I’m convinced that we are the ones that created the “Irish Exit!”. Even before I watched this, the thumbnail had me laughing, so hard, “regular person”. 😅😂. Outstanding video, Jay. On point always! I love when you said that we will make someone doubt everything they know about themselves. You’re killing me. Oh my gosh! And 100% true on music and watching other INFJs on RUclips! It’s like drinking a soothing elixir that delights the spirit.
@@tinamitchell7496 I guess if you took the time to correct the wording in my comment, one that I made while I was very tired, and sad over the passing of someone in my family, but still felt like watching a few videos to cheer me up…Jay’s videos always do that……then I will spend the time to answer you and say yes, I did mean - quenches. You really do need to get a hobby if you need to correct somebody who’s just sharing a thought on RUclips. I’m corrected enough at work and in life, I definitely don’t seek it on RUclips in the comments section …..but apparently this is where some people come to get their “I’m going to correct people so I feel better about myself” energy out. I don’t normally reply to people that behave like that, but it just made me really sad to know that there is no safe place to share thoughts or appreciation to people who spend their time to make videos for us. Have a beautiful day. And since you have time, please note that I did change the word, I want you to be happy today…. and feel empowered. 😊
@@chrislim7976 correct! We are, I believe, endowed with a gift of discernment, which keeps us from being harmed in some way, but also, looking for ways to help others. It’s not a bad thing, but other people misinterpret this trait we have. That’s my experience, anyway.
@@amypetra5021 I believe there is a big change in our look and aura when we are: 1. Examining/taking in information (generally weird) 2. Decide to help someone with all our heart (at our best) 3. If we are betrayed or wronged (very dark) I am not a young person but middle aged. My experience has come to appreciate our INFJ-ness rather than be tortured by it. 🙏
I never understood why I always loved discos and dance parties, but HATED lunch/dinner parties, especially at work. There’s something about small talk that just drives me crazy. Human contact is always easier when I don’t have to talk to them. I feel fake.
I just walked away from my daughter who married s anti social husband who is controlling her no more walking on eggshells around them did that for 55 years with my husband I isolate a lot anymore I am 80 also a empath
So very very tired, lonely and alone despite a life of aid and kindness; not that I wanted a reward for helping. I just retired at 50 with a full pension and I simply want to take care of my animals and peace out(fade away into the ether,not some violent end). No desire to hit 100 if this is life no matter how materially comfortable I can make it. Have you found anything that has helped you?
@@anthonyhoban673 No, not really. Just making sure I'm living as stress free as I can. I just left a very toxic roommate situation and that has helped.
Update I have found out he's a Vietnam vet now I understand him a lot more and my daughter was having small strikes and some cerebral problems we have mended things and it's good I am all about trying to mend things with my children and others it frees the heart
You are the first INFJ on RUclips, who reminds me, in just about every way, of myself. You are not afraid to believe the truth about who we are; that we actually are THIS altruistic. You don’t make yourself small, to make others big. You own all of our strengths, with no apologies. About damn time. Good on you; this is what the INFJ community has needed forever. Thank you, buddy. -INFJ, female, middle age
Oh my goodness, no one has described the INFJ personality as good as you have! I have never felt so understood in my life as I was listening to you talk and I could relate to everything that you’re saying 💕 I have a salt lamp in my living room, one in my bedroom and one in my bathroom for when I have my relaxing lavender Epsom salt bath !!😂
That one year I taught high school English, my students thought I was always mad, sitting in assemblies, focused on the presentation. No, I was just listening intently. That was my "teacher face" or "teacher eyes." It's pretty intimidating, too, but I wasn't even aware of that until someone brought it up to me a few years afterward.
I'm so glad you mentioned scents! I'm the only person I've ever known who really loves perfumes. Not just to smell nice, but to explore, to research, to pick apart the elements of an olfactory masterpiece! Ambergris, now there's a fascinating topic; I could go on for hours about it.
But I can get really overwhelmed by perfumes. And most perfumes are too strong for my nose to support. Especially the heavy ones can make me literally sick. I have a whole drawer full of essential oils and I love the clementine, lemony fruity ones the best. Smells always are associated with locations for me. I can recall smells from decades ago and know where I smelled them and can associate memories that way.
A lot of us have an intensity to our stare - a particular 'look' in the eye. I think it makes people feel uncomfortable when I look at them, but man... masking constantly drains me, and if I have to maintain a "soft gaze" whilst I'm talking to you I'm just going to end up avoiding situations with you altogether. The "shark eyes" are especially noticeable when we're drained, stressed, or burnt out - the coldness that permeates the core of us comes out. Ultimately we want to be accepted in all of our modes... and we don't want to constantly keep "putting on a show", and hiding. What's challenging for me is absorbing emotions of other people, that they themselves aren't aware of/consciously exhibiting. Not everyone is self-aware.
I also absorb other people's emotions so I'm having to learn to create distance. My ENFJ husband once said to me, "yes, your public face is a performance... always... " - that was revealing...
A penetrating stare seems like an uninvited intrusion to me unless we have already flipped some gate of intimacy. It demands an honest openness when trust is not established yet. You might trust anybody but a lot of people , men in particular, carry a deep distrust
Regarding scents: I used to ride the commuter bus to work and back, and one morning this extroverted gal discovered her need and lack of Kleen-x - so I took one out my pocket and gave it to her. She said, 'Oh, look at her, she packs extra Kleen-x...and it's so neatly folded...and it smells so good, what is this perfume called?' It's true. I have a purse and also a 'bag' - with a bottle of water, Kleen-x, TP, paper towels, band-aids, feminine hygiene products, a bottle of colloidal silver, some plastic shopping bags for trash or if someone gets sick to their stomach, box cutters, duct tape, and a smaller bag of things like aspirin, charcoal, grapefruit seed extract pills, and lavender oil, eating utensils, a book to read, sudoku, a protein bar, etc. - which came in real handy when someone I was working with stuck their hand in a trash barrel to shove stuff down and sliced their finger on some broken glass...or when a lawyer from out of town had a sudden 'visit' from her 'friend' and had no 'necessaries' - I helped her out, she gave me her business card and told me I had only to remind her of this time and she would help me out...all of this is basically for me, but you just never know, do you?
Yes yes yes yes yesssssssss! Reading your comment made my day and same here! My "purse" is a medical, make-up, shower/hygiene, electronics, bush-crafting, "this will come in handy" kit for myself and others. I even have a fold-able multi tool/pruning shears that I've used on so many occasions. Looks like we carry around the exact same items too except I haven't thought of the charcoal. That's a great idea! Thank you for sharing!
I have carried my “pickle kit” (aka you’re in a pickle? Something in this kit will solve it) since high school. In college my teammates call me “McGyver” because any time a problem came up I could solve it. I also mommed way before I had my first child.
I haven’t smoked for over a decade, but always carry a lighter (I needed once for a birthday cake). I always carry a sweatshirt or blanket in my car for when I get cold (at social gatherings lol) but I have ended up using them (twice) for when others get into car wrecks (I always seem to be at the right place, at the right time)
My spirit considers music a full immersion experience. As if your spirit could ride the frequency waves along with the sound. Then there’s the wonderful awkward dance effect! 😏😉💃🎵
Your mention about music was so accurate. My preference in music has changed drastically over my life, and it has everything to do with my inner state/being. I need music to either reflect what I'm feeling or draw out what I'm struggling to feel/identify feelings. From ages 11 to 25, music was probably the sole way I felt/processed my emotions. Also, I don't have a salt lamp (I want one really badly) and I was always the "mom" friend, well before I ever had my child. My friends in high school used to "Okay MOM" me on many occasions. Always texting them to check in, making sure they stayed on track in class, and being honest when I thought they were making a mistake or doing something dangerous/reckless.
Can someone explain the difference between the INFJ-A and INFJ-T types? Also , you sir, are a unicorn. As an ENFP-A that has attracted a lot of INFJ’s in the past (whenever I move or enter new social group, it’s like they come out of the woodwork)… I’ve only met one INFJ male and it was only recently. I’m interested about what the differences are between an INFJ male and female . My sister-in-law is an INFJ female … we tend to have reallygood long deep conversations… it’s great. Pretty much every INFJ I’ve been friends with you could have some of the most random and weird conversations and actually talk about some pretty personal stuff and you know, they won’t judge you for it because come to find out they have some pretty weird thoughts too- and they won’t tell anybody else…. even if they door slam you later. I’m kind of interested on how male INFJ’s see the world and if it’s different than their female counterparts.
@@Jaxmusicgal23 When you say that this or that person is a type, I'm left to wonder how you know? Firstly, I would be very reluctant to tell a stranger my personality type. And frankly I've met very few people who've even been conversant in MBTI parlance. I'm not casting aspersions or doubts. I'm truly curious how the subject is even broached in any way that would be considered healthy, authentic and un-defended, just sayin'.
@@Jaxmusicgal23For me how I "see the world" is many ways. How I see people varies. There are the toxic/mean/hardened, The mean/but hurting, surface people (various nuances), heart/kind people (various types hurting, strong, caring, full/empty, etc). Lots of variety (there is also fun/spontaneous). There are layers and things like MBTI I see should be more 3D charted and % questions should be asked with different words.. debate vs discussed are two very different things. Also music I categorize similarly. Yes over analyzing. I care/am pulled toward people, wanting/"needing" to help. (It hurts not to, from listening I guess I need to just "walk away". Basically a lot of pain/rejection... but not new as I am 58. Volunteering is what I love or animals.
Music is IT for me. Always has been. Blues mostly. Lately I have been enjoying Van Morrison and Daryl Hall, Boz Scaggs….their more recent music. I connect deeply with music.
My husband: "for someone who understands people so well, it's so weird that you don't have more friends." 😂😂😂 the "mom" friend. Yes, not always appreciated by others in the group for saving their lives.
This is beyond scary how accurate this is, and yet, extremely comforting at the same time! All my life people have treated me like I’m some sort of alien… no, I’m just an INFJ… we’re totally friends now!
I carefully listened to each characteristic and I am 90% an INFJ. I don't think I like revenge. I also think I do not have a broad array of interests but I do go really deep with issues, it's amazing how superficial most people are. Sure, we are weird, according to other people. There's a lot to say about this topic. People really exhaust me as I always wonder why they preoccupy themselves with trivial issues while the world is falling apart. Hugs to all you INFJs out there. I know you need them. 😍
Bingo. How people go through life with lots of friends and social groups that never change...it's because they are so superficial! When you get deep and real with probably 80% of the "friends" you have, those friendships will be over before too long. People are terrified of intimacy. I just honestly hate this world. I find it very boring. Nature is the only thing that keeps me alive these days. And hugs back.
My son is taking careers in high school so he had to take a personality test called 16 personalities. He asked me to take it when he got home, so I did. Turned out I was INFJ type. I had never heard of this before so seeing these videos is a real eye opener. I've always felt like an Alien but never knew why. Well now I know, kind of a relief.
Long time ago I had a narcissistic boyfriend and he loved speaking slow to catch attention. I got on his nerves because it bored me so much I used to end up his sentences. I'm not proud about it but he was so predictable and not having an idea of his own. He got really mad when I told him he was predictable but his identity was kind of Frankenstein's pieces. I didn't know anything about narcissism and he pushed so much the silence treatment I didn't see any point on keeping that relationship...no regrets...ever although my narc mom constantly reminded me I lost a good catch... not a good catch for me and I even told her to go and proclaim her love to him. It's ridiculous and pathetic.
😂🤣 Bro you have me rollin every time! 🤣 man it’s so nice to see others that get it! Keep up the comedy brother! You’re killing it! 😂🔥🎯😎 Love ya brother for what you do! Keep it up! 🔥
My sense of smell is very sensitive, a bad smell upsets me emotionally and a good one does the opposite, I can smell things other people can’t. Music has always been the means of getting in touch with and processing my emotions. Once I became a musician and songwriter this really helped me release other people’s emotions and recognize and connect with my own. I don’t know where I would be without this, I even wrote a song about being a sponge for others feelings. It seems impossible for me to not soak up the feelings of others, but I have found that music has been the most powerful way of releasing them. Exercise in nature and other creative passions also help, but music is emotions in audio form, so it makes sense to me that this has been the most effective way.
Hello people who have already written. I've noticed that comments under INFJ videos are better written than other such informative entertainments. Who knows why, but I think the responses to Jay's videos are especially articulate and full of insights. Thus, we may be full of bleep at times, but we say it well. I have been into the Myers Briggs since about 1990, but I've never met another INFJ. It's nice to read your work most worthy fellow eccentrics. Cheers and Blessings from Denver
I personally do wonder if that MBTI derived .5%-3% INFJ population percentage figure is not actually wildly overestimated by people self testing. Not that it is wrong per se, as it is the only option for most. That said I have in my 50 years of life on this planet met exactly one other who acts as I do and understands how my tangental, forever running in overdrive brain works. That miraculous occurrence was just 4 short months ago in the person of my Phd psychologist therapist. They initially typed me unofficially through our talks because for the first time in my life and to a stranger no less I took the chance and bared everything in my soul to someone. In throwing all that life long, learned and deeply personal internal caution to the wind I have achieved some miraculous self directed peace. It has felt very surreal and like the universe has literally given us arcs within which to perform. We have been given free will but also blinders within which we must grow spiritually(not necessarily religious) within to overcome; or not. Previously I had thought the MBTI theory interesting and assuradly of much higher validity then astrology but not the what the hell moments of these last few months as I see my whole life frequently being written, word for word, by a few trusted others online. All the more astounding is that I had said, written and felt them decades before they were even alive. Going back to the original topic I will say with 100% sincerity that the MBTI INFJ Reddit has very few actual INFJ's in it from what I have read and seen. they simply embrace a label but do not act in anyway as per what INFJ actually means. What is an INFJ without an iron moral code no matter where they hang their physical or literary hat? This alone discounts the vast majority I have read thus far. This is not to disparage those seeking truth; I hope you find it; I too still search. How surreal to find oneself at 50 and see that there may well be a plan to the universe. I am grateful to my therapist who not with therapy but with belief and conversation has shown me I am not the things I believed myself to be; despite a successful societal life albeit a lonely personal one. PS: I should add feeling exceedingly rare has never once felt like a blessing, in the best possible light maybe one could say the universe has given gifts but also harder cards because it had faith; or it plays dice.
Whatever you are, you are wildly outrageous. This is a compliment. I would recommend the book, Please Understand Me by David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates.The %ile deals with the fact their are fewer I and N people. @@anthonyhoban673
I hate parties 'cause parties are boring. I have never felt drained after a party, tho' a conversation with a narcissists is very draining. I prefer to socialize with only one or two people at a time. When I was younger, I was sometimes picked on for being quiet and when I had to be around the people who picked on me, I made sure I didn't say anything just to annoy them.
I work retail. My boss wants to know how I can lock eyes with someone and know to call LP. I told him it was a gift from God, because I hate dishonesty.
I have developed a strategy for identifying other infjs as wel as good people. It involves showing some vulnerability to someone thst u feel comfortable if rejected and if they respond to it then I do another thing that shows more vulnerability and so on. This helps you identify who u can trust while also letting others see they can trust u Good people respond to it but bad people don’t; so don’t attempt until you are ready
@@tammydiienno2751 it works soooo welll and people aren’t even aware. I came up with it from the advantage point of what would make me trust somebody so I started doing that in a way that I felt comfortable if I was rejected and it works beautifully
@@tammydiienno2751it works Everytine . And all it takes is a small gesture. Most people are unaware of it because we are built to find good people and even the smallest gesture. People pick up on even if they don’t consciously. But like I said only attempt if ready for rejection or it hurts. Good luck
@@tammydiienno2751 Simple gesture are all it takes.. getting slemthing for someone saying something self deprecating. People respond on an unconscious level and we are tuned to see it. It’s a slow process but it is very fruitful if executed properly
Listening to this with my diffuser of peppermint oil and a salt lamp in the background. I tell people all the time, I’m a mother hen, it’s not about you. I love having dogs cuz when I’m in a social situation, my excuse to leave is usually something to do for the dogs, like feed them or let them out. OMG, my humor is wry.
Enjoying learning more about an INFJ? Of course! We are rare and don’t fit in the mainstream. I certainly didn’t learn how to honor, develop and enhance my traits while I was growing up or in my adulthood. Society is not made for me. I have to work around how society is, in some situations. Earlier in my life, I didn’t understand that others don’t experience and perceive the same way I do (meaning patterns & predictions, deep thinking, seeing past facades, highly sensitive). I was angry for a long time that others didn’t see and experience to the depth that I do, that they didn’t see THE TRUTH and the patterns that I see. Now I understand why. Previously, I didn’t have the opportunity to learn about the uniqueness of being an INFJ. Now I am enjoying bathing in the energy of being an INFJ. By understanding myself better, I am better able to respect and utilize my traits. Use my traits for what? To help others. Thanks Jay 😊😊😊
Exactly, new friend! I'm astounded by how many female names there are in the comments. I read something that INFJ females are even more rare than INFJ males. Every single one of these points applies to me.
I seek authenticity in people. No games. Humor is fine, but I like it when it has a double meaning. Intelligence is important. Compassion and empathy are critical. Respect is also key. How you treat others must be consistent, especially when talking about people not in the room.
3:39 Do you find you laugh a beat before everyone else in the room, because you got the joke first? I had to learn to laugh quieter so it didn’t stand out.
Same. Sadly, that may exceed my social interaction quota to achieve. I can only handle so much small talk or vapid interests; and too many other types prefer swimming in the shallow end.
Keep the faith. I have 3 close friends who are also INFJ's. The quality of my social life increased significantly, as you can imagine. We are geographically distant but we communicate regularly through audio messages and through video calls... I feel like I am finally finding "my tribe"!
I have never been so perfectly summed up in a short video! I need to send this to some friends and family as an FYI. It’s such a wide range of emotions when people just never seem to “get” me
4:03 offering solutions to other ppls problems and getting resentment for it, caused me some painful lessons. Which is To Keep my mouth shut!!! Let ppl figure it out till they ask for help. Or I ask the right questions leading them to their own solutions. I discovered ppl actually want to discover their own solutions and have a sense of helping themselves. They don’t say thanks all the time but we both know.
One subject I haven’t heard a lot on is the emotional status of the INFJ while pregnant. I just discovered this past Summer that I’m an INFJ. Looking back on the 3 pregnancies of my 3 very different children now 11, 9, and 6 I now realize that I took on their temperaments while I was pregnant for them. For my oldest, who is a happy-go-lucky person, I too was excited, happy, and enthusiastic with little to no mood swings. My second child is very moody and hot tempered, but has episodes of sweetness. Once again, that was the same temperament while pregnant with her. My third child, who is the only boy, is caring, super sensitive, but also restless and loves to eat. And so was I while pregnant with him. I always thought every woman could share the feelings and emotions of the baby growing inside of them, but since talking to a lot of my pregnant friends and colleagues, it’s not so common. I feel so lucky to have been able to feel the different personalities of my children while they were still growing inside of me. I can still feel their energy and it is so exhausting I find myself having to isolate or take more naps. But I love them so much, so it’s worth every feeling 😊
My jaw just dropped reading this! I experienced this as well during my pregnancies! I was and felt so different with each of them, now that they’re all older it’s so evident that I took on their temperaments. I thought it was just me but reading your comment is making me think that it might be an INFJ quality.
I like your infj channel the most. i relate to it the most. we’re here then we’re not here 😂. I can’t stand scents inside my home. the only one i can tolerate is deodorant because it’s necessary. Can you do a video on infj dating? If we match up or match better with another type. i’m assuming we match best with other introverts. I’ve gotten to the point where i hate to travel and do vacations and am putting all my money into making my home as good as possible. I think I lost my last X over this before i found mbti videos. He eventually became a flight attendant and loves it. That job is the nightmare i could never wake up from. I’d definitely open the door mid flight. Oh i’d find a way around that safety latch. 😂 I’d study it as intensely as a cat waiting for the grass to move with a little mouse 😭🤣
I tick a lot of the INFJ boxes -- but definitely not the love of scent trait. In fact, this is the first time I've ever heard anyone mention this. Seems antithetical to the rest of the personality profile. I am highly sensitive to any kind of scented product. One of my biggest travel nightmares is being on a long flight seated next to someone doused in cologne.
Infp here- I’m so very very kind, but when you are mean to me, you better run, bc this is going to be an explosion like you’ve never seen . I too jump ahead in conversations.
Sick twisted sense of humor...NAILED IT...muhahaha...hehehe..🤣🤣 And yes, the minute I walk in, I am scoping for all the exits!!! Much LOVE dude, you rock!!!
Anyone know of a good infj coach counselor? I find it hard to get support as an INFJ. Sometimes i feel like im counseling my counselor. I wish i could find someone that understood me and had the ability to dive deep into my life. But then i hate the thought of paying someone to be a friend. LOL
I love your work, Jay. It is so great finally having all this reassurance about our personalities. I only realised when 70 that I am an INFJ - now 73 - and until then I really worried about my sanity. You describe us perfectly. This is me to a tee. A huge thank you as I really need this, especially as I am also diagnosed as having complex PTSD. Life is tough but your videos help me tremendously and it IS great therapy.
That was excellent thank you Jay. I don't have a thing for scented candles, but scent is defo a thing for me. If I'm missing a loved one, all I need to do is smell their clothing (clean of course, because it still holds their scent even faintly) I never attributed it to INFJ-ness. I also almost called BS on is not talking, until I thought about it. I spend so little time with those I don't genuinely enjoy the company of and who I find interesting that its actually true. If I'm with people who disinterest me or I find the conversation banal, then yes I won't say a word. I just don't tend to put myself in those situations very often and look for any excuse to escape. "Oh is that the time, I need to go walk my dogs now, bye..." I agree that when someone treats me poorly one to many times, it doesn't matter how close we've been in the past, it is like they are dead to me. I will cut them off cold. It doesn't have to be permanent, if they ask to be let back in and I think they are genuine, I will usually give them benefit of the doubt, but by God, do it again and it's permanent alright. I've not yet gone that further step that I can recall to actually go after someone, I tend to feel it is a waste of my precious energy so DTM it's usually sufficient. The exception is where this person has gone after someone else that I have the power to stand up for. Then, you'll see what I can do. I did this to my CEO over the Covid vaccine mandates (you read that right, I INFJ'd my CEO and yes he backed down AND apologised), again, since then with a managerial coworker of mine who was bullying and abusing one of their staff that I knew well. Long story short, the manager is gone now and their staff member remains. FAFO
LOL AS INFJ I FEEL EXPOSED 🤣 I wanted to share this to my guy bestfriend(INTJ; I also introduced him MBTI’s and helped him to understand himself more), but Im also terrified for our race to got exposed by villains!😱
LOLLLLL 4:42 had me looking to my left at my color changing salt lamp 😂 Also, I was surprised about the scents at first. Was thinking "well this doesn't really apply to me" until I looked at my shelf of deodorant, soap, candles and other skincare stuff that I made using steam distilled essential oils. Super awesome and scarily accurate video as always! Thank you!
So tomorrow several people are coming over for dinner and I dread being there. However some will also be bringing their dogs so you know where I'm going to be!
The way you describe our reactions to scent and music is so spot on. Fragrances have been my hobby since I was a teen with my first job and I've always divided my playlists by emotions, often listening to songs in languages I don't understand for the pure musical landscape. And it makes sense to me that other INFJs seek out INFJ content for the vibe--it almost acts like a tuning fork or a chord to harmonize along with in a world that feels like discordant chaos.
I’m definitely all about music and lyrics and have no time for songs that I can’t relate to! Love surprising others with my raunchy sense of humor, but don’t you dare cross me-I’ll slam that door so hard it’ll never open ever again. You showed me who you are, therefore I’m done with you
I agree with all the other comments. THIS VIDEO! Shark Eyes...BEAST mode ...and all the rest...I had to catch myself (and just barely did)...I got laughing SO hard at your razor-like witticisms...I nearly fell out of my chair and kerplunk onto the floor. THANK YOU! We needed that, and we need YOU. What a privilege to be a subscriber here. But, truly, what a brain you have! 🎯
Thank you so much for finally letting me identify who I really am! I'm a 71 year old woman that could never understand why I was treated like I was from the time I was a toddler! I come from a Spiratual family and we never disgused our gifts with anyone. I am the only INFJ in the family.
@@najiabushibba8963 Maybe we should open an hermit club. For me it is over five years. And from time to time I get out of my cave to see people for a day; and come back to my beloved isolation.⛰️🪨 Big foot must be one of us.🦧
drusillialeavel7533I live in a two house hamlet, 5 miles from the next village and 20 miles from the next small town in the pyrenees mountains in France. I just had a family gathering in Germany with half of my offspring. I needed three days of solitude to recover. This was my very own tribe! even though I need loads of solitude, I'm a mom of 8 and grandma of 17.A big flock and challenge.I love them to bids but they often scold me for not socialising enough.
@@picholoup did you tried to do every day 15 minutes to 1/2 hour of radical solitude. You just disappear from the sight of every one; and you let yourself go in your inside world or your reflection/ theory of something or even meditation. Set up an alarm for not exed that time (it is better to do many of these alone stations (socially talking)). So this way you partially regenerate without anyone noticing you have been gone. In the first times you will need many of these moments in the day. But with time your body will concentrate the regeneration needs (and it will be like dreaming awaken). Of course from time to time you will need to take half a day or more to fully recharge. But, at the same times, it will solve the problem to be perceived as antisocial, and it will as well awaken your INFJ's abilities.
I have a thing about not saying goodbye at weddings to the bride and groom. POOF exactly. I would challenge the avoiding conflict bit... I typically try to avoid conflict with people I love and don't want to inadvertently offend by telling the truth of what I see... but some people I will confront the person and engage conflict if it means truth is shared (usually near a door slam) and potential change is needed. When you suggest our remarks are tearing the person apart... this is true, but again we are engaging in conflict at this point so technically it contradicts your point about us avoiding conflict. We do to a certain extent. We don't jump 10 steps ahead because we know what the person is going to say (I.e., to cut them off)... we don't do that. We don't have to cut anyone off unless clarifying but we will jump ahead with our insights and some people would become confused by this because they need a step by step basis. I would associate memories and smells to Introverted Sensing but I get what you're saying. Often a smell will trigger a memory but it's not very detailed... it's more a glimpse or essence of that memory... I'd even go as far to say a feeling rather than a memory. I am definitely a mom-friend and has been referred to as a mom-friend. I often subconsciously pick music that does mirror my life at that time. I'll love a song and listen to it for years... then one day read the lyrics and find out it spoke about what was happening in my life and my feelings. It's quite woo woo. Wanna know about my life... listen to my music and read the lyrics.
I must be INFJ but spent a lifetime thinking I’m a lone weirdo, loving perpetual learning, art, perfumery, workaholic, self perfectionist etc, Able to empathise even with complete strangers & driven to support & relieve suffering in others. I’m not alone! Feel like I just won lotto. Wish I could’ve met another INFJ
All of this is SO true. I can't use scents anymore due to allergy to stinging insects, but I sure do miss them. My husband and I have a code phrase for when we want to leave a social gathering. I have put up with abuse from someone for way too long, then exploded into a verbal evisceration so severe that the other person runs away from me. When I was younger, I was the friend who got the friend group together and planned our outings. I was the one who introduced them all to each other in the first place. A few of those people expected me to make ALL contacts. They never reached out or initiated any contact, ever. I decided to find out if they were real friends and stopped calling them. I never heard from those people again, despite them claiming for years that I was like a sister to them! Have any of you experienced this?
Yikes! Yes, if you line step, I will tell you what I’ve gathered and share who you are. We are elephants and remember conversations from 15 years ago. I can’t sustain large groups and hide. I’m a current caregiver and also help my senior neighbors. Not sure if I’m an IFNJ. The one common thing people tell me is that I’m intimidating. I’m loving and sensitive yet people find me intimidating?
OMG you made me laugh so hard at us!!!! It's nice to know I am not alone....I would love to one day run into another INFJ and we hit on the same subject that triggers the projectile of information shared.....I wonder how many days that will go on...🤣🤣🤣🤣
Right on the money. I just wish I had known all this decades ago !! One of the things I have to remind myself of is that I can give assistance to others, but it is up to THEM to actually do something with the knowledge. And often, as you point out, other people generally don't want solutions. They just want to bitch about something, but they'll never take action. I have to remind myself to detach from what they choose to do after I've given them a helpful solution.
How to spot an INFJ or just me: I look before I leap. I stand at the back of the crowd. I never take the last cookie. Babies of all species draw my attention. I talk to animals and insects. I stare at clouds, birds and stars, but only when no one is watching. I forget to eat. I have difficulty selecting a favourite of anything. I care for all good people and would drop a boulder on a really bad person and not really give it a second thought. And if you spot me and call me out, I'll probably do the bolt. I'm BIGFOOT, or is it BATMAN, more likely The JOKER.
I definitely talk to animals, insects, worms, furniture, my reflection, my shadow, small household items... pretty much everything. Except people. I listen to people. Everything else listens to me. (right?)
Absolutely spot on! Regarding conversations with animals and insects (I converse with birds as well) if you are paying attention, and INFJ's do pay attention, those animals, insects and birds communicate back--usually more effectively than people. Hope you have a happy day. Take care.
I put worms back in the grass when they get flushed out from rain and all the things you do, too!
DITTO!!! DITTO!!
@@marlenelindsey7638 Myself as well, as a child I would soak grass snakes caught in the sun on pavement(dried out but alive) in warm water and release them in the grass after a few minutes.
"...we absorb the toxic energy of the argument"
So true.
To say infj can be cruel if you cross or betray us is an understatement. It's not something we enjoy.
Same, I have never "door slammed" anyone. I figured it is the clickbait; make them feel powerful or special social media requirements.
I have left it open and welcomed them to respectfully stay.
Sadly my respect, boundaries, and desire for authenticity, as well as reciprocity has made for a mostly lonely life. I still never forget those that stayed awhile and left.
Still not sold on MBTI fully but it so terrifyingly fits me and it sure would have been nice to know I was not broken in some deep way a few decades ago.
It's still nice even today.
@@anthonyhoban673
I think it is better to be potentially lonely and have our boundaries, authenticity and peace. Anything else, however good still eventually disappoints and drains our energy.
@@anthonyhoban673 It's very rare, but I have. The scary part is that as I get older the easier it is to doorslam as I'm finding that I don't tolerate people's nonsense and disrespect nearly as well as I used to, and from what I have observed this seems to happen with other INFJs as well. Part of the problem is that our personality type is a magnet for narcissists and narcissistic abuse. Personally I have suffered a great deal of torment at the hands of narcissists in my past that I allowed into my space, and once I got wise to what was happening I started booting them back out of my life. The price of course is that life got lonlier, but it also became MUCH quieter and peaceful, so it was worth the trade IMO.
Just had to go through this 2 weeks ago. Co-worker will no longer ride with me because he doesn't want to die. I drove 100 down the highway in and out of traffic all while only driving with my knee
Authenticity is non negotiable for INFJs.
I dont know how anyone can or lives with being fake. I'd rather be alone and broke but authentic.
When I go to a party at someone's home, I greet the host warmly and then start looking for the bookcase. Bonus points if they have a den or study with loads of books.
For me, I always look for:
1. Pets
2. Books
3. Plants
...in that order.
Me too
@@wolfe6220Heck yeah. Also solo conversations with any elderly people.
Me too 😊
Thanks for the pointers guys
Scent: removing smell is also INFJ. Too much smell triggers. Instead fresh outdoor air is a must for me.
So true. I can't sleep unless my flat has no cooking/household smells. I throw out other flat members rubbish if it smells up the stairwell😂
That's also true! Some smell hacks:
1. Use disinfectant as air freshener -- especially when changing litter. Spray it in the air. Gently. I use spray bleach, spray hydrogen peroxide, some others. Don't spray the cats! Just the air. Watch out for bleach on the carpet or fabrics.
2. Take chlorophyll so your you-know-what doesn't stink. Deodorizes from the inside. I like Chloroxygen or chlorella.
3. Use a candle warmer so your scented candles last longer.
Nah i prefer relaxing scents. Much better for relaxing and keeping the mind of things.
Yes. I am well known for my house smelling like "nothing". I hate artificial scents. I like fresh air and neutrality. I have enough information flying at me to interpret, think about, and absorb, I don't need smells also. 🫣
Yes dreaded social gatherings
😂
Jay
Agreed 💯
"What's up with infj's and salt lamps anyway?", I literally busted out laughing as I glanced over at my salt lamp lol
Before he mentioned it, I was wondering if that was a salt lamp like the one I have😂
I have 3😂
Totally!! No bright lights :) they are as noxious as a loud party
It's soothing n mysterious at the same time. Just like us. 😊
I have one too 😂😂 Its calming.
What I get angry most about is fighting someone else battle , then realize they don't care as much, and don't even thank you
they key is to stop rescuing - you cannot do the work that belongs to someone else -- if you remember the 3 doorways into drama are 1) rescue without asking 2) revenge 3) saying yes when you mean no.......life becomes so much simpler. These are key for any INFJ.
@@annatetiad.4991 idk I'm a Christian too so if people want help I usually do so
@@kelleyrogers6013 It's better to be there/available if needed then pay attention to what the person is asking for. We're usually way too intense which makes people actually uncomfortable and builds in us resentment when it's not appreciated or understood.
We're just too much.
And they are angry with you... And we feel totally stunned by their reaction.
@kelleyrogers6013 that annoys me too.. I'm an INTJ male, plus I'm christian ✝️ so whenever people come to me with a problem, I'm like, let's solve this here are solutions and go into a whole brainstorming session to help with their battles only for them to be like nah I don't care so much I'd rather just let it solve itself 😆
What social gatherings??!!
😂
Jay
😂😂
"many people get mad at solutions. They know the need a solution but they also don't want it." 💯.
People protect their pain. They're addicted to the payoff they get from being a victim.
I’ve said something similar. People know how to solve their problems but always find an excuse not to do it.
I'm an INFJ and I've always said, 'people come and go, but they always leave their music behind.' And they do, cause when I hear certain songs, I think of certain people. I can't help myself...even people I haven't spoken to for 30+ or more years.
same and it brings back a lot of memories:(
I've always said that "Life is about who builds the better playlist" - I live in Baltimore = Tubthumping was what I was rocking to last week. My life long love has be American history in Baltimore, Maryland with my last name scribed into the top of the Battle Monument. I have given myself the right to remain silent and turned "Uprising" up a little louder now.
YES! This is why I don't listen to certain songs or artists.
Ain’t it awful 😫😭
I have exactly the same! Plus the exact time and place where I was. (also great for pub quizzes haha).
It's so refreshing to listen to other INFJ's.
Yes!!! 👍
It sure is...
Just learning I'm a INFJ no pure than a month ago.
I cannot believe the accuracy
It's soooo embarrassing when somebody triggers me to break past my internal censors and launch into an unfiltered gush about one of my interests. It never ends well. I get that wide-eyed stare 😳like I just started talking in a foreign language or something. They were just not prepared for my soliloquy and dissertation on the subject. 😞
totally relate. Been there. Many, many times!
Jay
I have spent my INFJ life with an absolute LOVE of history in Baltimore, Maryland. Since the bridge collapse, I have been avoiding everyone except my friend, Baltimore Fats, who put my opinion out in a video. I know TOO MUCH about the American Bible Society for this to "just be an accident"...... I have given myself the right to remain silent - I don't need to be offending people 🤣😂
A few years ago I met a woman who was an INFJ (before I knew what one was) we got talking about gears on bikes, anouther friend was listening, and said it was like we were talking in anouther language. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, but she was way out my league.
Not exactly INFJ like, since you have Fe and you should be aware of the social dynamics of any given situation.
One of my INFJ friends does this. Once he's off, he's off. Sometimes he'll apologize for talking so much, and I have to remind him every time how much I admire his passion. -INTJ
INFJ and scents .. it's a really interesting topic, as there are a few studies that our sense of smell can detect other people's emotional states. The sense of smell is the only sense out of those 5 that bypasses our brain's executive functioning.
I truly believe our empathic nature is heavily connected to this aspect.
Now that's really interesting. Maybe that's why so many of us "get" animals, and they "get" us. I can always tell when another person is fibbing, not what they are fibbing about, always, but that they are. I thought it was mild mental telepathy.
My joke at work is that I go into Sephora multiple times a day, because I may not be able to afford to live that expensive smell..... but, damn it, I will sample it for free when I am on the clock. I can at least smell expensive at work lol Perfumes masks natural smells that trigger a sensory reaction. I can remember the smell of hay reminding me of my grandparent's farm, the smell of chickens in my old Baltimore neighborhood, the smell of cinnamon at the harbor from McCormick.... Oh the memories.
The candle comment really hit home lol Does anyone find themselves touching all the soft clothing and blankets when shopping?
@@larrybradley3809 , I try hard to resist that! But, do you find that you can smell "death" on plasticy man-made fibres and you avoid those parts of the shop like the plague? Avoid some shops altogether because they smell so bad? Avoid certain isles in the big stores because they smell so bad? Can't understand how anyone can bear to wear that or walk there? Would far rather have far fewer clothes and shoes of far higher quality material than lots that reeks of death? And try to hold onto the good stuff for decades?
I’m obsessed with smell and I honestly thought all mothers could smell when their child is sick, as I always could.
I also have a salt rock lamp and a scensie oil defuser thingy and a lot of incense 😅
And I have crystals and a rock collection on display in a beautiful wooden box that my younger son made for me 😊
And there are beautiful dried bouquets hanging all over my home. OH, and wind chimes in the porch.
Very hippie dippy place. But when people I love give me beautiful things they made or got for me, what else am I supposed to do!?🤷🏻♀️
I should make seashell wind chimes this summer🤔
I'm an infj and don't like social gatherings but I always thank the host briefly & say goodbye. I also respond promptly to people in other ways like texts, even if it's something simple. lt's rude not to do these things.
Yes, the text/calls thing depends on the person and how much they’ve put me through. Sometimes you get caught in that in between phase where you know someone is raking advantage of you but you haven’t went so far as to ghost them yet. Thanks for the comment!
Jay
I’m convinced that we are the ones that created the “Irish Exit!”. Even before I watched this, the thumbnail had me laughing, so hard, “regular person”. 😅😂. Outstanding video, Jay. On point always! I love when you said that we will make someone doubt everything they know about themselves. You’re killing me. Oh my gosh! And 100% true on music and watching other INFJs on RUclips! It’s like drinking a soothing elixir that delights the spirit.
@@justpassingthrough-h8sSame…….Irish. I deploy it often.
I thought I invented the “Irish Exit”😁
Psst... Don't you mean *quenches the spirit?
@@tinamitchell7496 I guess if you took the time to correct the wording in my comment, one that I made while I was very tired, and sad over the passing of someone in my family, but still felt like watching a few videos to cheer me up…Jay’s videos always do that……then I will spend the time to answer you and say yes, I did mean - quenches. You really do need to get a hobby if you need to correct somebody who’s just sharing a thought on RUclips. I’m corrected enough at work and in life, I definitely don’t seek it on RUclips in the comments section …..but apparently this is where some people come to get their “I’m going to correct people so I feel better about myself” energy out. I don’t normally reply to people that behave like that, but it just made me really sad to know that there is no safe place to share thoughts or appreciation to people who spend their time to make videos for us. Have a beautiful day. And since you have time, please note that I did change the word, I want you to be happy today…. and feel empowered. 😊
@@wacubby , I'm sorry about the person in your family who passed, and for your sadness.
This was spot on. Now I also understand why INFJS can see through people which not everyone appreciates.
No in fact most people hate it and will actively avoid you, which, works for me lol 😅
@@amypetra5021
Yeah. I don't think most people like being comfortably stared it / see through but its like we are reading an interesting book.
@@chrislim7976 correct! We are, I believe, endowed with a gift of discernment, which keeps us from being harmed in some way, but also, looking for ways to help others. It’s not a bad thing, but other people misinterpret this trait we have. That’s my experience, anyway.
@@amypetra5021
I believe there is a big change in our look and aura when we are:
1. Examining/taking in information (generally weird)
2. Decide to help someone with all our heart (at our best)
3. If we are betrayed or wronged (very dark)
I am not a young person but middle aged. My experience has come to appreciate our INFJ-ness rather than be tortured by it. 🙏
@@chrislim7976 yes I agree with your assessment of infj’s. Seems to ring true for me.
I never understood why I always loved discos and dance parties, but HATED lunch/dinner parties, especially at work. There’s something about small talk that just drives me crazy. Human contact is always easier when I don’t have to talk to them. I feel fake.
Small talk - arrrrgh!
Dancing is such a great way to both express ourselves AND get us out of our heads. Just flow with the music.💝🎉
Small talk isnt fake to me if its simply etiquette leading to something with more substance.
So try to treat it like that so its not so awful.
Recently attended a work dinner. Small team, about 14 of us in the country. Every minute was exhausting.
I'm an old senior infj and I'm pretty much just done with people in general. I can feel the weight of the years and I'm tired.
I just walked away from my daughter who married s anti social husband who is controlling her no more walking on eggshells around them did that for 55 years with my husband I isolate a lot anymore I am 80 also a empath
So very very tired, lonely and alone despite a life of aid and kindness; not that I wanted a reward for helping.
I just retired at 50 with a full pension and I simply want to take care of my animals and peace out(fade away into the ether,not some violent end). No desire to hit 100 if this is life no matter how materially comfortable I can make it.
Have you found anything that has helped you?
@@anthonyhoban673
No, not really. Just making sure I'm living as stress free as I can. I just left a very toxic roommate situation and that has helped.
I feel you, Tonya. Door slam on this whole world coming up.
Update I have found out he's a Vietnam vet now I understand him a lot more and my daughter was having small strikes and some cerebral problems we have mended things and it's good I am all about trying to mend things with my children and others it frees the heart
You are the first INFJ on RUclips, who reminds me, in just about every way, of myself. You are not afraid to believe the truth about who we are; that we actually are THIS altruistic. You don’t make yourself small, to make others big. You own all of our strengths, with no apologies. About damn time. Good on you; this is what the INFJ community has needed forever. Thank you, buddy. -INFJ, female, middle age
Nice comment, exactly what I would have said. Thank you!😊
Spot on! I find it therapeutic to see a healthy and strong fellow INFJ. I'm working on being able to speak up when necessary.
Oh my goodness, no one has described the INFJ personality as good as you have!
I have never felt so understood in my life as I was listening to you talk and I could relate to everything that you’re saying 💕
I have a salt lamp in my living room, one in my bedroom and one in my bathroom for when I have my relaxing lavender Epsom salt bath !!😂
lol, glad you enjoyed the video! Salt lamps for the win!😂
Jay
And the lavender epsom salt baths! 💜
I call it the death stare, that sharp gaze that people always assume im mad 😅
That one year I taught high school English, my students thought I was always mad, sitting in assemblies, focused on the presentation. No, I was just listening intently. That was my "teacher face" or "teacher eyes." It's pretty intimidating, too, but I wasn't even aware of that until someone brought it up to me a few years afterward.
@@SusanBame hi yes I was told the same thing about my eyes
I'm so glad you mentioned scents! I'm the only person I've ever known who really loves perfumes. Not just to smell nice, but to explore, to research, to pick apart the elements of an olfactory masterpiece! Ambergris, now there's a fascinating topic; I could go on for hours about it.
The amount of money I spend on scents for my home is silly…..but they mean so much to me
FRRRRR IM LITERALLY OBSESSED W SCENTED CANDLES AND PERFUMES
But I can get really overwhelmed by perfumes. And most perfumes are too strong for my nose to support. Especially the heavy ones can make me literally sick. I have a whole drawer full of essential oils and I love the clementine, lemony fruity ones the best. Smells always are associated with locations for me. I can recall smells from decades ago and know where I smelled them and can associate memories that way.
Same!
I love the smell of a book store. Is it just me?
A lot of us have an intensity to our stare - a particular 'look' in the eye. I think it makes people feel uncomfortable when I look at them, but man... masking constantly drains me, and if I have to maintain a "soft gaze" whilst I'm talking to you I'm just going to end up avoiding situations with you altogether. The "shark eyes" are especially noticeable when we're drained, stressed, or burnt out - the coldness that permeates the core of us comes out.
Ultimately we want to be accepted in all of our modes... and we don't want to constantly keep "putting on a show", and hiding. What's challenging for me is absorbing emotions of other people, that they themselves aren't aware of/consciously exhibiting. Not everyone is self-aware.
I also absorb other people's emotions so I'm having to learn to create distance. My ENFJ husband once said to me, "yes, your public face is a performance... always... " - that was revealing...
A penetrating stare seems like an uninvited intrusion to me unless we have already flipped some gate of intimacy. It demands an honest openness when trust is not established yet. You might trust anybody but a lot of people , men in particular, carry a deep distrust
The scents one is so true, I’m literally obsessed w scented candles and perfumes
Listening to other INFJs like bathing in our own energy, …therapy…YES.
Regarding scents: I used to ride the commuter bus to work and back, and one morning this extroverted gal discovered her need and lack of Kleen-x - so I took one out my pocket and gave it to her. She said, 'Oh, look at her, she packs extra Kleen-x...and it's so neatly folded...and it smells so good, what is this perfume called?' It's true. I have a purse and also a 'bag' - with a bottle of water, Kleen-x, TP, paper towels, band-aids, feminine hygiene products, a bottle of colloidal silver, some plastic shopping bags for trash or if someone gets sick to their stomach, box cutters, duct tape, and a smaller bag of things like aspirin, charcoal, grapefruit seed extract pills, and lavender oil, eating utensils, a book to read, sudoku, a protein bar, etc. - which came in real handy when someone I was working with stuck their hand in a trash barrel to shove stuff down and sliced their finger on some broken glass...or when a lawyer from out of town had a sudden 'visit' from her 'friend' and had no 'necessaries' - I helped her out, she gave me her business card and told me I had only to remind her of this time and she would help me out...all of this is basically for me, but you just never know, do you?
Yes yes yes yes yesssssssss! Reading your comment made my day and same here! My "purse" is a medical, make-up, shower/hygiene, electronics, bush-crafting, "this will come in handy" kit for myself and others. I even have a fold-able multi tool/pruning shears that I've used on so many occasions. Looks like we carry around the exact same items too except I haven't thought of the charcoal. That's a great idea! Thank you for sharing!
I have carried my “pickle kit” (aka you’re in a pickle? Something in this kit will solve it) since high school. In college my teammates call me “McGyver” because any time a problem came up I could solve it. I also mommed way before I had my first child.
I haven’t smoked for over a decade, but always carry a lighter (I needed once for a birthday cake). I always carry a sweatshirt or blanket in my car for when I get cold (at social gatherings lol) but I have ended up using them (twice) for when others get into car wrecks (I always seem to be at the right place, at the right time)
My spirit considers music a full immersion experience. As if your spirit could ride the frequency waves along with the sound. Then there’s the wonderful awkward dance effect! 😏😉💃🎵
I agree with almost everything said in this video. As for me, I do not tear people down. They will tear themselves down and do a better job. 😌
Your mention about music was so accurate. My preference in music has changed drastically over my life, and it has everything to do with my inner state/being. I need music to either reflect what I'm feeling or draw out what I'm struggling to feel/identify feelings. From ages 11 to 25, music was probably the sole way I felt/processed my emotions. Also, I don't have a salt lamp (I want one really badly) and I was always the "mom" friend, well before I ever had my child. My friends in high school used to "Okay MOM" me on many occasions. Always texting them to check in, making sure they stayed on track in class, and being honest when I thought they were making a mistake or doing something dangerous/reckless.
As an INFJ-A man, I feel like a super odd duck. It seems like most INFJ content is directed toward the -T variant. But, I can relate to your video!
Thank God everyday youre not the T type. It realy sucks 😂
Can someone explain the difference between the INFJ-A and INFJ-T types?
Also , you sir, are a unicorn.
As an ENFP-A that has attracted a lot of INFJ’s in the past (whenever I move or enter new social group, it’s like they come out of the woodwork)…
I’ve only met one INFJ male and it was only recently.
I’m interested about what the differences are between an INFJ male and female .
My sister-in-law is an INFJ female … we tend to have reallygood long deep conversations… it’s great.
Pretty much every INFJ I’ve been friends with you could have some of the most random and weird conversations and actually talk about some pretty personal stuff and you know, they won’t judge you for it because come to find out they have some pretty weird thoughts too- and they won’t tell anybody else…. even if they door slam you later.
I’m kind of interested on how male INFJ’s see the world and if it’s different than their female counterparts.
@@Jaxmusicgal23 When you say that this or that person is a type, I'm
left to wonder how you know? Firstly, I would be very reluctant to tell
a stranger my personality type. And frankly I've met very few people
who've even been conversant in MBTI parlance. I'm not casting
aspersions or doubts. I'm truly curious how the subject is even
broached in any way that would be considered healthy, authentic and
un-defended, just sayin'.
I'm an INFJ-A as well. Not much content for that
@@Jaxmusicgal23For me how I "see the world" is many ways. How I see people varies. There are the toxic/mean/hardened, The mean/but hurting, surface people (various nuances), heart/kind people (various types hurting, strong, caring, full/empty, etc). Lots of variety (there is also fun/spontaneous). There are layers and things like MBTI I see should be more 3D charted and % questions should be asked with different words.. debate vs discussed are two very different things.
Also music I categorize similarly.
Yes over analyzing. I care/am pulled toward people, wanting/"needing" to help. (It hurts not to, from listening I guess I need to just "walk away". Basically a lot of pain/rejection... but not new as I am 58. Volunteering is what I love or animals.
I have approximately 50 bottles of different colognes, and I have scent infusers in every one of my outlets. Huge Joni Mitchell fan
I can't believe the music commentary. So spot on. Wow. I have a movie soundtrack for my life too. I can't even believe you said that. Mind blown. 🤯
Music is IT for me. Always has been. Blues mostly. Lately I have been enjoying Van Morrison and Daryl Hall, Boz Scaggs….their more recent music.
I connect deeply with music.
My husband: "for someone who understands people so well, it's so weird that you don't have more friends." 😂😂😂 the "mom" friend. Yes, not always appreciated by others in the group for saving their lives.
It is BECAUSE we understand people so well that we CHOOSE not to have a lot of “friends”. 😂
⬆️⬆️this
Quality over quantity for sure!!
This is beyond scary how accurate this is, and yet, extremely comforting at the same time! All my life people have treated me like I’m some sort of alien… no, I’m just an INFJ… we’re totally friends now!
I carefully listened to each characteristic and I am 90% an INFJ. I don't think I like revenge. I also think I do not have a broad array of interests but I do go really deep with issues, it's amazing how superficial most people are. Sure, we are weird, according to other people. There's a lot to say about this topic. People really exhaust me as I always wonder why they preoccupy themselves with trivial issues while the world is falling apart. Hugs to all you INFJs out there. I know you need them. 😍
Bingo. How people go through life with lots of friends and social groups that never change...it's because they are so superficial! When you get deep and real with probably 80% of the "friends" you have, those friendships will be over before too long. People are terrified of intimacy. I just honestly hate this world. I find it very boring. Nature is the only thing that keeps me alive these days. And hugs back.
Its okay to not like revenge but.... You are going to do it subconsciously though lol
My son is taking careers in high school so he had to take a personality test called 16 personalities. He asked me to take it when he got home, so I did. Turned out I was INFJ type. I had never heard of this before so seeing these videos is a real eye opener. I've always felt like an Alien but never knew why. Well now I know, kind of a relief.
I found it reassuring to find out that I was an INFJ. And that there were a few others out there like me!
Long time ago I had a narcissistic boyfriend and he loved speaking slow to catch attention. I got on his nerves because it bored me so much I used to end up his sentences. I'm not proud about it but he was so predictable and not having an idea of his own. He got really mad when I told him he was predictable but his identity was kind of Frankenstein's pieces.
I didn't know anything about narcissism and he pushed so much the silence treatment I didn't see any point on keeping that relationship...no regrets...ever although my narc mom constantly reminded me I lost a good catch... not a good catch for me and I even told her to go and proclaim her love to him. It's ridiculous and pathetic.
I'm actually very gregarious in these settings. Then it's a week to recover.
I think we need to start an INFJ support group 😂
😂🤣 Bro you have me rollin every time! 🤣 man it’s so nice to see others that get it!
Keep up the comedy brother! You’re killing it! 😂🔥🎯😎
Love ya brother for what you do! Keep it up! 🔥
Thanks so much, really appreciate that, and really appreciate you. 🙏
Jay
❤❤. Right….so funny!
So many people would know me so well just from watching this video. But no one seems to even try to get to know me 😐
My sense of smell is very sensitive, a bad smell upsets me emotionally and a good one does the opposite, I can smell things other people can’t. Music has always been the means of getting in touch with and processing my emotions. Once I became a musician and songwriter this really helped me release other people’s emotions and recognize and connect with my own.
I don’t know where I would be without this, I even wrote a song about being a sponge for others feelings. It seems impossible for me to not soak up the feelings of others, but I have found that music has been the most powerful way of releasing them. Exercise in nature and other creative passions also help, but music is emotions in audio form, so it makes sense to me that this has been the most effective way.
EVERYTHING you said today was spot on. Always have an escape plan for sure. Hand signals, a glance of the eye, LET"s GET OUT OF HERE.
I know the feeling 😂
Hello people who have already written. I've noticed that comments under INFJ videos are better written than other such informative entertainments. Who knows why, but I think the responses to Jay's videos are especially articulate and full of insights. Thus, we may be full of bleep at times, but we say it well. I have been into the Myers Briggs since about 1990, but I've never met another INFJ. It's nice to read your work most worthy fellow eccentrics. Cheers and Blessings from Denver
I personally do wonder if that MBTI derived .5%-3% INFJ population percentage figure is not actually wildly overestimated by people self testing.
Not that it is wrong per se, as it is the only option for most. That said I have in my 50 years of life on this planet met exactly one other who acts as I do and understands how my tangental, forever running in overdrive brain works. That miraculous occurrence was just 4 short months ago in the person of my Phd psychologist therapist.
They initially typed me unofficially through our talks because for the first time in my life and to a stranger no less I took the chance and bared everything in my soul to someone. In throwing all that life long, learned and deeply personal internal caution to the wind I have achieved some miraculous self directed peace. It has felt very surreal and like the universe has literally given us arcs within which to perform. We have been given free will but also blinders within which we must grow spiritually(not necessarily religious) within to overcome; or not.
Previously I had thought the MBTI theory interesting and assuradly of much higher validity then astrology but not the what the hell moments of these last few months as I see my whole life frequently being written, word for word, by a few trusted others online. All the more astounding is that I had said, written and felt them decades before they were even alive.
Going back to the original topic I will say with 100% sincerity that the MBTI INFJ Reddit has very few actual INFJ's in it from what I have read and seen. they simply embrace a label but do not act in anyway as per what INFJ actually means.
What is an INFJ without an iron moral code no matter where they hang their physical or literary hat? This alone discounts the vast majority I have read thus far. This is not to disparage those seeking truth; I hope you find it; I too still search.
How surreal to find oneself at 50 and see that there may well be a plan to the universe. I am grateful to my therapist who not with therapy but with belief and conversation has shown me I am not the things I believed myself to be; despite a successful societal life albeit a lonely personal one.
PS: I should add feeling exceedingly rare has never once felt like a blessing, in the best possible light maybe one could say the universe has given gifts but also harder cards because it had faith; or it plays dice.
Whatever you are, you are wildly outrageous. This is a compliment.
I would recommend the book, Please Understand Me by David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates.The %ile deals with the fact their are fewer I and N people. @@anthonyhoban673
I hate parties 'cause parties are boring. I have never felt drained after a party, tho' a conversation with a narcissists is very draining. I prefer to socialize with only one or two people at a time. When I was younger, I was sometimes picked on for being quiet and when I had to be around the people who picked on me, I made sure I didn't say anything just to annoy them.
Yep, just recently "shark-eyed" someone...left them verbally decimated. 🤷♀️
I work retail. My boss wants to know how I can lock eyes with someone and know to call LP. I told him it was a gift from God, because I hate dishonesty.
I've given two people a "death stare" - it shocked and scared them on both occasions. It's not something I could fake though.
I almost did the shark eye thing in a store today. My husband miraculously walked in and saved the day. God bless him.
lol!
The humor in this episode is amazing, thank you ❤
lol! Thanks!🙏
Jay
@@INFJcircle anytime 😉
I have developed a strategy for identifying other infjs as wel as good people.
It involves showing some vulnerability to someone thst u feel comfortable if rejected and if they respond to it then I do another thing that shows more vulnerability and so on. This helps you identify who u can trust while also letting others see they can trust u
Good people respond to it but bad people don’t; so don’t attempt until you are ready
Ohhh me likey this concept here!!! 👍👍
@@tammydiienno2751 it works soooo welll and people aren’t even aware.
I came up with it from the advantage point of what would make me trust somebody so I started doing that in a way that I felt comfortable if I was rejected and it works beautifully
@@tammydiienno2751it works Everytine . And all it takes is a small gesture.
Most people are unaware of it because we are built to find good people and even the smallest gesture. People pick up on even if they don’t consciously.
But like I said only attempt if ready for rejection or it hurts.
Good luck
@@tammydiienno2751
Simple gesture are all it takes.. getting slemthing for someone saying something self deprecating.
People respond on an unconscious level and we are tuned to see it.
It’s a slow process but it is very fruitful if executed properly
Brilliant!! 😂Thank you so much for allowing us to “bathe in the INFJ essence.” It really is quite therapeutic. 🙏
You are welcome!
Jay
“We’re friends right..?😢” lmaooo twisted sense of humor? ✅
That really hit me in the feelings. 😢
Listening to this with my diffuser of peppermint oil and a salt lamp in the background. I tell people all the time, I’m a mother hen, it’s not about you. I love having dogs cuz when I’m in a social situation, my excuse to leave is usually something to do for the dogs, like feed them or let them out. OMG, my humor is wry.
😂❤
Enjoying learning more about an INFJ? Of course! We are rare and don’t fit in the mainstream. I certainly didn’t learn how to honor, develop and enhance my traits while I was growing up or in my adulthood. Society is not made for me. I have to work around how society is, in some situations.
Earlier in my life, I didn’t understand that others don’t experience and perceive the same way I do (meaning patterns & predictions, deep thinking, seeing past facades, highly sensitive). I was angry for a long time that others didn’t see and experience to the depth that I do, that they didn’t see THE TRUTH and the patterns that I see. Now I understand why. Previously, I didn’t have the opportunity to learn about the uniqueness of being an INFJ. Now I am enjoying bathing in the energy of being an INFJ. By understanding myself better, I am better able to respect and utilize my traits. Use my traits for what? To help others. Thanks Jay 😊😊😊
Exactly, new friend! I'm astounded by how many female names there are in the comments. I read something that INFJ females are even more rare than INFJ males. Every single one of these points applies to me.
Incorrect, Males are far far more rare
I seek authenticity in people. No games. Humor is fine, but I like it when it has a double meaning. Intelligence is important. Compassion and empathy are critical. Respect is also key. How you treat others must be consistent, especially when talking about people not in the room.
3:39 Do you find you laugh a beat before everyone else in the room, because you got the joke first? I had to learn to laugh quieter so it didn’t stand out.
Yes, we’re friends 🤗
I wish I knew infjs in person.
InFJs (the evolved ones) have a super high bar to call anyone a friend.
Same. Sadly, that may exceed my social interaction quota to achieve. I can only handle so much small talk or vapid interests; and too many other types prefer swimming in the shallow end.
Keep the faith. I have 3 close friends who are also INFJ's. The quality of my social life increased significantly, as you can imagine. We are geographically distant but we communicate regularly through audio messages and through video calls... I feel like I am finally finding "my tribe"!
Yep, pretty lonely being me :/
The closest I come to my personality type is an Intj. They're pretty cool.
I have never been so perfectly summed up in a short video! I need to send this to some friends and family as an FYI. It’s such a wide range of emotions when people just never seem to “get” me
4:03 offering solutions to other ppls problems and getting resentment for it, caused me some painful lessons. Which is To Keep my mouth shut!!! Let ppl figure it out till they ask for help. Or I ask the right questions leading them to their own solutions. I discovered ppl actually want to discover their own solutions and have a sense of helping themselves. They don’t say thanks all the time but we both know.
I laugh at the disappearing part it's one of our final tricks lol Self-isolation
Mom friend here!🙋♀️
And, of course, I judge musicians by whether they are ‘good ppl’ or not… lol
this is the most fun and identifiable video for INFJ that I have ever seen! Oh my! I actually organize events and engage then escape to the bathroom.
One subject I haven’t heard a lot on is the emotional status of the INFJ while pregnant. I just discovered this past Summer that I’m an INFJ. Looking back on the 3 pregnancies of my 3 very different children now 11, 9, and 6 I now realize that I took on their temperaments while I was pregnant for them. For my oldest, who is a happy-go-lucky person, I too was excited, happy, and enthusiastic with little to no mood swings. My second child is very moody and hot tempered, but has episodes of sweetness. Once again, that was the same temperament while pregnant with her. My third child, who is the only boy, is caring, super sensitive, but also restless and loves to eat. And so was I while pregnant with him. I always thought every woman could share the feelings and emotions of the baby growing inside of them, but since talking to a lot of my pregnant friends and colleagues, it’s not so common. I feel so lucky to have been able to feel the different personalities of my children while they were still growing inside of me. I can still feel their energy and it is so exhausting I find myself having to isolate or take more naps. But I love them so much, so it’s worth every feeling 😊
My jaw just dropped reading this! I experienced this as well during my pregnancies! I was and felt so different with each of them, now that they’re all older it’s so evident that I took on their temperaments. I thought it was just me but reading your comment is making me think that it might be an INFJ quality.
I like your infj channel the most. i relate to it the most. we’re here then we’re not here 😂. I can’t stand scents inside my home. the only one i can tolerate is deodorant because it’s necessary. Can you do a video on infj dating? If we match up or match better with another type. i’m assuming we match best with other introverts. I’ve gotten to the point where i hate to travel and do vacations and am putting all my money into making my home as good as possible. I think I lost my last X over this before i found mbti videos. He eventually became a flight attendant and loves it. That job is the nightmare i could never wake up from. I’d definitely open the door mid flight. Oh i’d find a way around that safety latch. 😂 I’d study it as intensely as a cat waiting for the grass to move with a little mouse 😭🤣
I tick a lot of the INFJ boxes -- but definitely not the love of scent trait. In fact, this is the first time I've ever heard anyone mention this. Seems antithetical to the rest of the personality profile. I am highly sensitive to any kind of scented product. One of my biggest travel nightmares is being on a long flight seated next to someone doused in cologne.
Nailed it, thank you brother 🤩
Thanks! 😊
Jay
Where would we be without our twisted sense of humor? 🤣It's what gets me through! Great video.
😂😂 It’s what gets me into trouble 😂😂
@@juneabbott6805 ha ha ha ha that too🤣🤣
Infp here- I’m so very very kind, but when you are mean to me, you better run, bc this is going to be an explosion like you’ve never seen . I too jump ahead in conversations.
Sick twisted sense of humor...NAILED IT...muhahaha...hehehe..🤣🤣
And yes, the minute I walk in, I am scoping for all the exits!!!
Much LOVE dude, you rock!!!
Anyone know of a good infj coach counselor? I find it hard to get support as an INFJ. Sometimes i feel like im counseling my counselor. I wish i could find someone that understood me and had the ability to dive deep into my life. But then i hate the thought of paying someone to be a friend. LOL
I love your work, Jay. It is so great finally having all this reassurance about our personalities. I only realised when 70 that I am an INFJ - now 73 - and until then I really worried about my sanity. You describe us perfectly. This is me to a tee. A huge thank you as I really need this, especially as I am also diagnosed as having complex PTSD. Life is tough but your videos help me tremendously and it IS great therapy.
That was excellent thank you Jay. I don't have a thing for scented candles, but scent is defo a thing for me. If I'm missing a loved one, all I need to do is smell their clothing (clean of course, because it still holds their scent even faintly) I never attributed it to INFJ-ness.
I also almost called BS on is not talking, until I thought about it. I spend so little time with those I don't genuinely enjoy the company of and who I find interesting that its actually true. If I'm with people who disinterest me or I find the conversation banal, then yes I won't say a word. I just don't tend to put myself in those situations very often and look for any excuse to escape. "Oh is that the time, I need to go walk my dogs now, bye..."
I agree that when someone treats me poorly one to many times, it doesn't matter how close we've been in the past, it is like they are dead to me. I will cut them off cold.
It doesn't have to be permanent, if they ask to be let back in and I think they are genuine, I will usually give them benefit of the doubt, but by God, do it again and it's permanent alright.
I've not yet gone that further step that I can recall to actually go after someone, I tend to feel it is a waste of my precious energy so DTM it's usually sufficient. The exception is where this person has gone after someone else that I have the power to stand up for. Then, you'll see what I can do. I did this to my CEO over the Covid vaccine mandates (you read that right, I INFJ'd my CEO and yes he backed down AND apologised), again, since then with a managerial coworker of mine who was bullying and abusing one of their staff that I knew well.
Long story short, the manager is gone now and their staff member remains.
FAFO
Of course we are friends! My brother from another mother. Keep keeping!
This dude just explained everything single piece of my personality and all of my inner workings 😂 I feel called out.
LOL AS INFJ I FEEL EXPOSED 🤣
I wanted to share this to my guy bestfriend(INTJ; I also introduced him MBTI’s and helped him to understand himself more),
but Im also terrified for our race to got exposed by villains!😱
LOLLLLL 4:42 had me looking to my left at my color changing salt lamp 😂 Also, I was surprised about the scents at first. Was thinking "well this doesn't really apply to me" until I looked at my shelf of deodorant, soap, candles and other skincare stuff that I made using steam distilled essential oils. Super awesome and scarily accurate video as always! Thank you!
WOW!!! Never have I ever seen a video more accurate on who I am without me knowing who I AM!!! This has been so eye opening!!! WOW!
Thank you from a Kentucky INFJ. It’s good to be understood
So tomorrow several people are coming over for dinner and I dread being there. However some will also be bringing their dogs so you know where I'm going to be!
I love dogs too. Theyre so funny and sweet ❤
I constantly question whether or not I am actually an INFJ and then this video.... confirms it for sure on all points. All. of. them.
The way you describe our reactions to scent and music is so spot on.
Fragrances have been my hobby since I was a teen with my first job and I've always divided my playlists by emotions, often listening to songs in languages I don't understand for the pure musical landscape. And it makes sense to me that other INFJs seek out INFJ content for the vibe--it almost acts like a tuning fork or a chord to harmonize along with in a world that feels like discordant chaos.
I’m definitely all about music and lyrics and have no time for songs that I can’t relate to! Love surprising others with my raunchy sense of humor, but don’t you dare cross me-I’ll slam that door so hard it’ll never open ever again. You showed me who you are, therefore I’m done with you
Yes, we are friends!!!❤❤❤❤
I screamed at the first one!! OMG. The great escapist!
I agree with all the other comments. THIS VIDEO! Shark Eyes...BEAST mode ...and all the rest...I had to catch myself (and just barely did)...I got laughing SO hard at your razor-like witticisms...I nearly fell out of my chair and kerplunk onto the floor. THANK YOU! We needed that, and we need YOU. What a privilege to be a subscriber here. But, truly, what a brain you have! 🎯
That thumbnail 🤣👍
“regular person”>>>
Thank you so much for finally letting me identify who I really am! I'm a 71 year old woman that could never understand why I was treated like I was from the time I was a toddler! I come from a Spiratual family and we never disgused our gifts with anyone. I am the only INFJ in the family.
You know how to verbalize things perfectly.😊
Of course we are friends. 😇
Especially if the other INFJ are in hermit mode like me.😂🧡💚
I've been in this mode for 3 months now 😂😂😂😂😂😂,that makes us freinds by default now 😅
@@najiabushibba8963 Maybe we should open an hermit club.
For me it is over five years. And from time to time I get out of my cave to see people for a day; and come back to my beloved isolation.⛰️🪨
Big foot must be one of us.🦧
drusillialeavel7533I live in a two house hamlet, 5 miles from the next village and 20 miles from the next small town in the pyrenees mountains in France. I just had a family gathering in Germany with half of my offspring. I needed three days of solitude to recover. This was my very own tribe! even though I need loads of solitude, I'm a mom of 8 and grandma of 17.A big flock and challenge.I love them to bids but they often scold me for not socialising enough.
@@picholoup did you tried to do every day 15 minutes to 1/2 hour of radical solitude. You just disappear from the sight of every one; and you let yourself go in your inside world or your reflection/ theory of something or even meditation. Set up an alarm for not exed that time (it is better to do many of these alone stations (socially talking)). So this way you partially regenerate without anyone noticing you have been gone. In the first times you will need many of these moments in the day. But with time your body will concentrate the regeneration needs (and it will be like dreaming awaken). Of course from time to time you will need to take half a day or more to fully recharge. But, at the same times, it will solve the problem to be perceived as antisocial, and it will as well awaken your INFJ's abilities.
I feel so alone in this journey Jay.....😞
It's comforting to know there are people who at least know what I'm going through.
I have a thing about not saying goodbye at weddings to the bride and groom. POOF exactly. I would challenge the avoiding conflict bit... I typically try to avoid conflict with people I love and don't want to inadvertently offend by telling the truth of what I see... but some people I will confront the person and engage conflict if it means truth is shared (usually near a door slam) and potential change is needed. When you suggest our remarks are tearing the person apart... this is true, but again we are engaging in conflict at this point so technically it contradicts your point about us avoiding conflict. We do to a certain extent.
We don't jump 10 steps ahead because we know what the person is going to say (I.e., to cut them off)... we don't do that. We don't have to cut anyone off unless clarifying but we will jump ahead with our insights and some people would become confused by this because they need a step by step basis.
I would associate memories and smells to Introverted Sensing but I get what you're saying. Often a smell will trigger a memory but it's not very detailed... it's more a glimpse or essence of that memory... I'd even go as far to say a feeling rather than a memory.
I am definitely a mom-friend and has been referred to as a mom-friend.
I often subconsciously pick music that does mirror my life at that time. I'll love a song and listen to it for years... then one day read the lyrics and find out it spoke about what was happening in my life and my feelings. It's quite woo woo. Wanna know about my life... listen to my music and read the lyrics.
Right on the target!
😀
Jay
I must be INFJ but spent a lifetime thinking I’m a lone weirdo, loving perpetual learning, art, perfumery, workaholic, self perfectionist etc, Able to empathise even with complete strangers & driven to support & relieve suffering in others.
I’m not alone! Feel like I just won lotto. Wish I could’ve met another INFJ
thats why i love the infj circle =)
3:35 was a relief! I'm a great listener but have to always be mindful of seeing the end and then interrupting the conversation.
This was so funny and true. Thanks for making me laugh out loud 😜. We are not alone in this. Greetings from a fellow INFJ in Belgium
3:30 totally agree with you
All of this is SO true. I can't use scents anymore due to allergy to stinging insects, but I sure do miss them. My husband and I have a code phrase for when we want to leave a social gathering. I have put up with abuse from someone for way too long, then exploded into a verbal evisceration so severe that the other person runs away from me. When I was younger, I was the friend who got the friend group together and planned our outings. I was the one who introduced them all to each other in the first place. A few of those people expected me to make ALL contacts. They never reached out or initiated any contact, ever. I decided to find out if they were real friends and stopped calling them. I never heard from those people again, despite them claiming for years that I was like a sister to them! Have any of you experienced this?
Yikes! Yes, if you line step, I will tell you what I’ve gathered and share who you are.
We are elephants and remember conversations from 15 years ago.
I can’t sustain large groups and hide.
I’m a current caregiver and also help my senior neighbors.
Not sure if I’m an IFNJ.
The one common thing people tell me is that I’m intimidating.
I’m loving and sensitive yet people find me intimidating?
OMG you made me laugh so hard at us!!!! It's nice to know I am not alone....I would love to one day run into another INFJ and we hit on the same subject that triggers the projectile of information shared.....I wonder how many days that will go on...🤣🤣🤣🤣
Right on the money. I just wish I had known all this decades ago !! One of the things I have to remind myself of is that I can give assistance to others, but it is up to THEM to actually do something with the knowledge.
And often, as you point out, other people generally don't want solutions. They just want to bitch about something, but they'll never take action. I have to remind myself to detach from what they choose to do after I've given them a helpful solution.