I've noticed that judgement and rejection only hurts when we're invested in being accepted by others. When we accept that EVERYONE faces judgement and rejection, it just becomes a part of the human experience.
Jay's advice is a must for INFJs. I have spent way too much time trying to right the wrongs. It's like playing whack-a-mole. And, surprisingly, most people do not appreciate it when corruption is exposed and dealt with. Sometimes they benefitted from it, and sometimes they are uncomfortable when someone upsets the applecart. Focus on your own corner of the world. As Voltaire wrote in his book, Candide, tend to your own garden. For the most part. I've exposed two events of corporate corruption where peoples' lives were in danger, so sometimes it's necessary.
8 INFJ Rules from Stoics 1. You can decide whether to worry about something or not. 2. People are facts, consider not resenting them. 3. You don't have to have an opinion about things. 4. Consider focusing on the present moment. 5. Other people's opinions are just their opinions. 6. Don't let external things determine the quality of your life. 7. You can't fix everything, so consider not stressing over what you can't change. 8. Consider abstaining from worry about evil you can't control.
*This Channel SURE DOES. My Fellow INFJ Homeboy Can't Say It Enough In Every Video the Things About MANY Other People Out There Who Are Probably NOT INFJ's If They Are Not Progress-Oriented & Sometimes Wanna Treat Us Like Soundboards, BUT Are A Pathetic Lost Cause. Even Motivational Speakers Need To Learn That You Can't Help Or Save Everybody, & It's Better For You & Them That You DON'T. Even GOD Himself Doesn't Even Bother To Help Or Save Everyone, & I Can't Possibly Do the Whole Human Soundboard Thing- I'm Too No-nonsense & Moody. Anyway, This Channel Is A Godsend Like Wenzes's Is. Thumbs Up 👍, & I'm Staying Tuned For MORE.*
I'm a Christian. And I worry alot. I pray about what is most pressing and every time these worry thoughts start up I tell myself "you don't have to think about this, you already gave it to God" it helps me alot
I always say, I couldn't have been a counselor...I have too many of my own unresolved problems. I'm now healing into the understanding that I may actually be helpful to others in that sorta way.
INFJs have a massive advantage over everyone else in that we like being alone. We need a lot of alone time so we can be free from the narrow limited feeling & thinking of others. To escape that tedium. Its rare being bored in an INFJs own head & heart.
The concept is that of the Serenity Prayer. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. “ 💛
Thank you for showing your face and making a real video. So much better than the other INFJ channels that use an automated voice to read a script. Great content. Keep it up and I hope your channel becomes wildly popular.
I love this channel . For just finding out Iam this personality type I’ve so enjoyed your info . Keep up the excellent work . Absolutely loved this video . Cause it is stuff we do deal with and feel it’s our responsibility for some unknown reason and guilty til I’ve reached an age that I moved on from that !!
Hey Jay, I've been there, overwhelmed with others' energy and emotions, and I didn't know how not to do it. Learning how to establish boundaries was a tough one for me. I've also had to be careful to avoid the narcissists. I've also had to slam doors, some really dramatically and I'll admit that I've burned bridges, but they were troll infested and needed the torch. Thank you for your videos Jay. Much love to you! -Z
I love what you are saying. I really hope that it helps all the young INFJs. I didn't have a name for this personality type that I share with a few others until a little too late. I'm 38 and I have lived an insane life as an INFJ, completely riddled with narcissistic abusers. Now I am finally happy and whole but I'm going to die soon from heart failure. Accepting this is a tough pill to swallow but at least I'm not finishing the way I was, a big mess all alone and misunderstood. I'm still alone but I'm NOT a mess and that is a victory to me. I cannot wait to watch all of your content. I have devoured up everything else about us. Brings me comfort. Makes me feel not so alone. Thank you friend. ❤
You are so welcome! This post made my day. Life is hard for us INFJs. And narcissistic abuse is one of the worst things. I was in a relationship with a narcissist for about 10 years. Very difficult. I am glad that you have figured things out and you are finally whole. I am so sorry for your medical condition and I hope that you have many more years. Thanks for your comment it really meant a lot to me. Jay
I just want to give you a big hug! I'm at the end of a lengthy divorce from my 15 yrs married to a narcissist. My father is also a narcissist. I turned 51 this Thursday and the last 3 years has been rediscovering who I am in a healthy way. I wish I knew I was an INFJ as a teen. Knowing who I am and not making myself wrong for it would have saved me so much grief. I'm praying for you for a miracle recovery and that you are not alone physically. You are never truly alone. ❤
I have had the same turmoil and late introduction that you described. I am so sorry to hear that you will transition soon. You are NOT alone and the overwhelmingly intense (good/bad) history not being able to destroy us is a miracle in itself. I am 49 and didn't know I was INFJ until a year and a half ago, around the time of my one and only sons death by Fentynyl poisoning. I'm still a wreck and just living day to day trying to become un- lost again. Knowing that I'm not crazy but rare helps. Doesn't it? (Cue maniacal laughter) god bless you on your journey.
Sending you so much love. I myself am 39 and just found out my personality type yesterday and I was also thinking about how much easier my life would have been thus far if I would have known. Wishing you strength and happiness for the rest of your days with us in this world. Godspeed.
The psychiatric community has a name for this....... Borderline Personality Disorder. After my diagnosis, after I read up on it and found out what it was and what that meant for me..... I almost killed myself lolol and why wouldn't someone after a diagnosis like that the psychiatric community makes us out to be monsters and lunatics! A few months back I took the Meyers Briggs and came up as an infj. Started reading about it, cuz I didn't know what that was, like I didn't know what borderline personality disorder was. I couldn't help but notice the similarities between an infj and a person diagnosed as borderline personality disorder. After a while I just started viewing the way I am as having an infj personality rather than having a disorder. People speak of INFJs in glowing terms. People speak about borderline personality disorder like it's a freak show...... A dangerous one at that. Finding these infj videos probably saved my life
I practice stoic philosophy and it's badass. However, I always stumble over number eight. Because once you see the atrocities in the world of let's say little children being exploited, women and children being destroyed and eviscerated by domestic violence, somehow I cannot turn away from trying to do my best to make others aware that these people need help. I know I can only control The Evil Within Myself, and keep the projection of evil from others out of my life, but still brother... I have a hard time sleeping at night knowing so many women and children are being destroyed every 3 seconds.
Number 8, worrying about the evil in the world, eg the rise of fascism, has really been getting me down lately. I cannot bear the utter stupidity of humanity. If I leave social media it will be so I don't have to hear about or from these subhumans again.
Fascism is on the rise? I'm confused. I'm going to go ahead and guess you're definitely under 25 years old? I'm going to be 47 soon. Trust me when I say the right has lost and absurd amount of influence over the country. Mind you fascism is an "extreme" right side philosophy but you would be wrong to say the right are fascist. I'm not saying it doesn't exist. But I am saying nine times out of 10 when someone on the left is calling someone on the right a fascist they're simply saying it because they don't agree with the person on the right. Just because a lefty doesn't agree with someone on the right it doesn't make that person a fascist. Except for that one time out of 10. But the real truth is both sides have a lot of issues. Both sides can breed an extreme amount of cognitive dissonance in individuals. Both sides can poison people's minds making them become very toxic. The media then steps in making it all far far worse. I've never seen so much division in this country in my almost five decades of being here. That has progressively gotten worse and worse. Anyways something I'm practicing these days and it is very difficult to practice that's for sure, But I'm practicing being cognizant of the fact that when I point a finger at someone there are 10 pointing back at me. I am practicing realizing that the things I hate about others is often true of myself: has its root in me and not the other person. This isn't always the case but very very often we project our own preconceived notions and fears on others therefore distorting our perception. I think if people on both sides could just understand this everything would get so much better for us. Another thing I believe is that the reality is things have gotten so good in this country that people basically are making up reasons to feel righteous indignation. A classic philosophy is that humans enjoy righteous indignation because it makes them feel "better than" others. It's an ego stroke. It's a self-validating mechanism. All I know is that I can relate to feeling animosity towards groups of people because their ideology is so alien and absurd to me but I am not going to continue to feel that way anymore. The reason why is because anger and frustration does not serve us well. Especially when it's righteous anger. I hope things get better for you. ♥️
I've wasted years of my life watching videos about news about how Trump misbehave and get p off at his supporters, and I still am wasting time on this subject. I told myself, I don't need to be mad, because inherently, I somewhat was trying to validate my set of values. After spending way too much time on that, my present conclusion : 1) Trump exists - and I am glad that I am not him. 2) I really don't have to analyze more about this guy - he is not what I inspire to. 3) Even if I curse at him, I will not fix or accelerate his judgement. 4) When I've told myself that this person will eventually have to pay for his actions, it has happened - therefore I don't need to spend more time "hoping" that this would happen sooner. 5) He is someone of no value to me, therefore I don't put more energy on this. I think that some profile are more fit to call him out and bring him to justice. I am grateful that there are people who do that, and I concentrate on what I am good at, still by being mindful and centered.
Something I have come to understand and experience in recent years is that presence/peace/intuition and anxiety come from two different dimensions of our selves. The ego, or conceptual (constructed and false) sense of self, with all its conditioned notions of what's good and bad, right and wrong, is the source of any anxiety we feel. Through our dominant function of Introverted Intuition, we INFJs are blessed with easier access than other types to the beingness, insight and guidance that can bubble up from the inner truth of who we are, what Jung referred to as the "transcendent function." I have found that perhaps the most essential way to have inner peace most of the time and to open and respond to our intuition is to question the truth of thoughts and anxieties that arise from the conditioned mind, from our IDEA of the world and who we are. When we question whether we can know that any thought, or judgement of ourselves or events as good or bad is true for sure, we find that we can't know this. Then, the thought dissolves, any troubling emotion triggered by the thought dissolves, and we are left feeling the peace of Presence, our true Self. In the "space" of wakeful, peace-filled Presence, no longer blocked by fears and objections from the conditioned mind, intuition can arise and guide our expression and our lives.
Love this. It reminds me of the Stoics. The conditioning of the mind to decipher what is right and wrong is very interesting. Especially in a world that "dictates" that someone needs to be married to be "normal", or can't live with their parents (just examples), etc. These can cause stress, but who is to say they are good or bad? Only your conditioned mind. Thanks Andrew! Jay
💫💖🙌🙏🙌💖💫 Such a delicate balance from time to time... much to accept on my end... which I already have... but yet to find balance and being able to create my own experience in the world... because it is not my own... it it all of ours... I hear of this and that and find solitude where it is... at any moment at any time. 💖
This is an excellent, accurate channel. My favorite prayer is " God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference. Decades of seeking truth has brought me to a place where everything is making sense. The Father gives us these gifts and the devil tries to stop us from helping others. It is an amazing journey to self transformation. God bless
These “pearls of wisdom” are just part of the algorithm YT offers. This is, for me, 63 yrs too late-I had all this & lots more down just by communing w/ my inner self & my badass spirit guide !!!! I was 8 yrs old. Surrounded by evil. I knew what was what. & I practiced stoicism, had to!!!
Video summary Highlights: + [00:00:00][^3^][3] **Introduction to Stoicism and INFJ** * Stoicism founded by Zeno of Citium * How Stoicism can help INFJs * Overview of the eight rules + [00:00:12][^4^][4] **Rule 1: Choose what to worry about** * Worrying is a choice * Focus on what you can control * Avoid unnecessary suffering + [00:00:56][^5^][5] **Rule 2: Accept people as they are** * People are largely unchangeable * Accept people at face value * Don't let others hurt you + [00:02:49][^6^][6] **Rule 3: Limit opinions on irrelevant matters** * Not everything deserves your opinion * Avoid overthinking * Save energy for important things + [00:03:54][^7^][7] **Rule 4: Focus on the present moment** * INFJs are future thinkers * Enjoy the present fully * Techniques to stay present + [00:05:49][^8^][8] **Rule 5: Trust your own opinions** * Value your own opinions * Avoid people-pleasing * Maintain control over your emotions + [00:06:46][^9^][9] **Rule 6: Don't let externals determine your life** * Control your reactions * Escape anxiety * Realize your inner power + [00:07:48][^10^][10] **Rule 7: Don't stress over unchangeable things** * Some events and people can't be changed * Focus on self-improvement * Avoid negative influences + [00:08:04][^11^][11] **Rule 8: Abstain from worrying about uncontrollable evil** * Focus on your own choices * Don't feel guilty for others' wrongdoings * Put effort into what you can control
To get out of my Ni loop, I find that doing my crafts better helps me with focus and being in the moment. Most of the Ni Dom people that I've shared this point with, tend to agree with that assessment as well. The harder the task at hand, the better your focus becomes. You are having to draw on your deeper creativity, and problem solving, when they may arise with a project. I assemble 1/12 scale dollhouses and I have become familiar with more than my fair share of problem solving skills involved with it. 😂
This is the very best site on INFJ. Helpful, smart insightful, excellent quotes. You put a lot of research into this. Thanks. Listening on repeat to drive these nuggets of wisdom down deep
I discovered stoic philosophy about a year ago through Ryan Holiday’s videos and realized I’ve been a stoic most of my life. My daughter is the one that explained to me that I am also an INFJ personality type. Stoicism is definitely a helpful philosophy for me.
I would love tips on how to “discard” anxiety. It would be so helpful. I also wonder if any other INFJ’s get exhausted from constantly feeling like you have to improve yourself or be better all the time?
Hi Eric, lately for me it has gotten exhausting to try to improve myself, and seeing the best out of everything, overall because I am the only one doing it, and the other parts do not care, so it feels one sided. However, now I am trying to recognize that I have improved in many aspects and feel happy about it, and not rush into more improvements. Also recognize that your efforts are for you to feel happy with yourself and enjoy the person you have already build.
I was drawn to that book six months ago and it’s brought me great peace as I practised detachment. In a way it’s given me another super power of not caring about toxic people that I seem to be magnet. I love the stoic wisdom
I'm so glad Terry! Life can really get heavy for us INFJs. I understand that feeling of stress. I'm glad the video helped. Thanks for letting me know, means a lot. Jay
The Desiderata...Go quietly among the noise and haste..... You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and stars. You have a right to be here 💖💖
Maaaannn, I so wished that i had this knowledge 30 years ago, better late than never. I'm enjoying catching up with your videos, thanks for taking the time to produce and post🙏
My wrongs don't necessarily have to be your wrongs, depending on how desensitized you are. I had to learn to meet people exactly where there are at at that point in time Knowing , what's my business, what's God's business, their business, and none of my business. Picking my battles, asking myself how important is it to my serenity level. I also had to learn not to take on other people's pain & not waste my time with those who are more comfortable sitting in their own shit. It's either your anchor or your sail. I soon found that my liabilities became my greatest asset's. In order to be honest and humble you have to accept the fact that you are fallible. Pain is inevitable suffering is an option. Acceptance does not mean approval. Not my job to fix you. The biggest freedom is to be able to say I don't know or I'm wrong. Try to get in solutions instead of staying in the problems. Stay open-minded in order to be teachable One of my daughter's favorite sayings was minds are like umbrellas they operate best when they're open
@@INFJcircleSomeone else taught me, nothing original I had many teachers with lots of work & still a work in progress lol hell you'd think I'd be perfect by now 😜 I fall short on a daily basis.
Thank you for this video! 1. I gave up worrying a long time ago, thanks to Jesus! "Cast all your cares on HIM for He cares for you." -1 Peter 5:7 "Don't sweat the small stuff. It's ALL small stuff!" 2. People are facts! Again, I have come to accept people as they are. I always go back to the poem "If," by Rudyard Kipling! The ENTIRE poem, but especially, " If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too;.............If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much;.." 3. You don't have to have an opinion about things! I am learning to hold back when I hear someone speak or watch a video and want to add my 2 cents. (It didn't work on this video :) 4. Focus on the present and Predicting future outcomes: For many years I have told people things that were going to happen, even years down the road. I've even called talk shows and told the hosts. Each time I've been scoffed at. Then years later, it happens. I feel like I'm behind a thick glass wall trying to get people's attention and tell them what I see, but nobody seems to listen. 5. I DO trust my opinions because I RESEARCH! I am very staunch about standing for the truth and what I know is right, regardless of others or consequences! The Asch Conformity Experiment showed that 75% of people ARE susceptible to group think, peer pressure and conformity! Scripture tells us "Do not follow the crowd to do evil." - Exodus 23:2 6. Do not let external things determine your quality of life: and 7. Not stressing over things I can't change. and 8. Abstaining from worry over evil you cannot control. Amen! God has given me the power to change the things I can, the patience to accept what I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference! I am only one, but I AM one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And the something I can do, I should do, and by the grace of God, I WILL do! -Edward Everett Hale
You are so correct with this. I'm going to sound Soo silly here, but,, I really thought majority of people just knew or saw life like this. But with running across people like you,, well I just don't feel so alone. I still get thrown off with how others are. ~I've just always wanted a safe place to fall ❣️~
I love when you said that if they’re not doing what I want to be doing or think is honorable, then why do I let their insults mean anything. So powerful
This is all true. And it also reenforces the fact that ppl can be a pain in the as- Especially when they are always sh--ing in your salad while they are in your kitchen.
Great points. I think people throughout time have known that a good majority of people have something about them that is going to cause you big problems. So, being able to leave them to their own devices and focus on what you can control can be a huge help. Thanks for the comment! Jay
All good stuff here Sir! Three/six months ago I finished 'Meditations' by MA...it was life-changing in many ways. I'm still learning every day the meaning of the phrase "Not my problem."
It is very life changing. I think it's because he was an INFJ as well. He seems to think in the same patterns we do. Thanks for the comment Buckley. Jay
This is all very intellectual. Stoicism comes from a time when they weren’t aware of emotional repression and trauma. For me, no amount of changing my thoughts or believing one idea or another has ever helped me move towards health. The only thing that has ever truly worked for me is to feel the rage, fear, shame and grief that is buried deep in my stomach and chest. Each layer I feel through moves me towards becoming more fully myself.
This video is such a God-send to me, thank you so much! I am so grateful. I can now quit trying to figure out why people don't align with me (having tried everything!) when all I want to do is work together towards something good! This video just solidified and made me feel GREAT about my decision to resign instead of having any of the lingering guilt that I have been feeling regarding this decision.
I will tell you Beverly, I relate to what you are saying so much. Wanting to work towards a greater good but nobody is interested. I hope that the videos will help you (if even just a little) to find your place (and your peace). Thanks for watching! Jay
I truly enjoyed this video. I adopted Stoicism as a high school student, and Marcus Aurelius is one of my favorites. Now I know why. We didn't have the Meyer-Briggs Personality test when I was in school. So I was always the misfit, and had to figure out how to 'fix' myself. Stoicism helped alot. Now I know why. Years later, an employer had a psychologist come in and give all of us the MB Personality test. That is when I found out about the 16 different types of personalities, and that I am an INFJ...That help also, though it still took me years to learn that it is okay for me to be ME.
Bro mad props on your vidoes, seriously hits like a gut punch. Being an infj is tuff as bricks, but it a little lighter knowing that others like yourself are out there and clearly understand how you feel and think.
that last point hit like a sack of bricks. I believe this is the reason why i sank into addiction for so long, so much injustice in the world right now and it felt hopeless for me. Now I realise I need be a force of calm good because others won't do it.
So, I'm a Holistic lifestyle coach, and love helping people, and those that come to me say they want my help..but I have come to the realization after watching some(nearly all at this point 😂)of your videos, that just because people choose you, doesn't mean you should just take on everyone. I have to be more discerning. They say they want help, but sometimes they just want to ease their guilt by seemingly doing something about their issues by hiring me, and then when I give them the action plan, they resist😑 I get it now 😁
I have been grateful to find your content! Thanks for sharing! My 10 year old daughter and I have been using a phrase that sums up the mantra "I will not give the power to determine my emotions. My emotions are under my power alone." in a slightly different way. Same concept. "Don't give (that person) the keys to your car."
I once became too frustrated and consulted with a psycologist. I told her that I am an INFJ thinking it might help her to understand me better. To my utter surprise she never heard of MBTI and told me not to see these on internet . I can relate to INFJ struggles and feelings a lot but as she indirectly resented this I get confused. However this video helped me a lot thanks. Please reply me
It's not surprising that she disliked MBTI, but it is very strange that she told you she never heard of it. It is very popular in her field (though not looked well upon). Anyway, I think psychologists don't like it because it isn't empirically verifiable and possibly because it gives solutions without consulting them (loss of money). They are taught not to trust MBTI. But the truth is that not everything is empirically verifiable. What about love? Can we verify love in a lab? No. So, things exist which aren't verifiable in a lab. Especially thought processes, etc. So, I would tell you that MBTI isn't like astrology, it is not based on when you were born, etc. It's a measurement system for your thought patterns and how you feel about things (your personality). It seems there are patterns there (certain types) and MBTI simply measures those through testing and puts you in a category. Thanks for the comment! Jay
@@INFJcircle I am so glad I found this channel and you are making things understand in a wonderful way. I have joined the newsletter. Thank you again for the great work. 😌
I’m a Christian, and my power is in my prayers to God. He is the lover of my life, and He’s always available. I have a son who is narcissistic. He’s fun to be with, but pretty shallow. I have a daughter, but she has health issues, so she’s never available except in an emergency. I have learned to not depend on people, but take them for what they are. I’m always looking for their gifts and talents, and try to encourage them. It is so true about people not caring to succeed in life. They simply plod along, and hope things will improve for them. That kind of thinking is so strange to me. I’m constantly trying new things. It can even be scary for me sometimes, because I have a fear of failure. Anyway, I would just like to say that the information above was very helpful. Thank you so much.
This is really helpful thank you. It doesn’t address “how” to change automatic thinking after becoming aware of these salient points. Sometimes being aware can be enough but it also seems this personality ties strongly into childhood or other life traumas. For many years, 12step meetings helped me immensely through truthful dialogue and group support. Again super vid and thank you. Good daily listening.
Omg it’s crazy how much this has helped me. I did not know I was an INFJ, never heard of it before today. I have been binge watching all morning and this video explains so much of my life these last few years. For the first time I’m feeling a sense of relief and hope. Thank you so much!
This is wonderful advice as we all suffer terribly so need lot of reassuring and advice, somethings we almost never ask for. Never in my case. I KNOW that my life would be so much better if I could apply these rules.Thank - you. Heard an infj recently in his 60s who actually thought he had psychological problems till he realised he is an INFJ. I think this sums up how a lot of us feel about our personalities.
INFJ here! I appreciate your videos and enjoy watching them. I learned a little about myself, but understanding how I think and respond to situations brings me peace. Thank you for the INFJ Circle.
When you worry about something in the future, instead of having that one experience when or if it happens, your mind is going to replay it over and over in your head at least a dozen times before it even happens, so you unnecessarily produced massive amounts of cortisol (stress hormones) inside your body by "imagining" that experience a dozen times... that'll probably not going to happen anyways. Glad you're producing videos INFJ Circle, it seems the INFJ grew in such popularity that the mistypes usurped almost all the INFJ forums and videos that doesn't resonate with me, your channel does. Thank You!
This is perfect for me right now. Just had a falling out with an old acquaintance tonight. Long story short: I stood in my truth and much prefer my reality to hers. Adios, amiga!
I love the Stoics . I have learned not to worry or panic and my life is a great deal better. I recognised much of myself in Marcus Aurelius . Even though I am a woman. The Stoics are great observers of life . And I am enjoying reading what they thought in daily readings .
Of the billions of postings professing to be ‘experts’ on us weirdo INFJs I find yours to be the most insightful and grounded. Commendable that you quote such imminence as Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius. This is truly respectable and valuable perspective. Thanks for your scholarship in your subject matter. Quite helpful!
I usually find it pretty difficult to find INFJ videos I can actually agree with, or even respect. But I really like the subjects you brought up. Except for INFJ Morality. There's a lot of factors they tend to either ignore or instinctively forget depending on their emotional state. But you seem to have addressed some of the common issues as well. I'd like to share some of the graphs I've been working on with you, if it's alright with you. I'd like to get your honest thoughts and opinions. I want to make sure everything is as useful and accurate as possible before officially releasing them.
Thanks so much. You are an excellent speaker, and I love your accent. Great videos.. all of them. I know you'll get this part ➡ It's really hard being alone so often, listening to your videos lets myself [and others] know that we can be alone together! 🙏
I completely agree with this, and it is hard to be alone sometimes. I’m glad this community allows you to feel some company while you’re spending your alone time. Thank you for the comment! Jay
Thank you so much!! That means a lot to me. We are just getting started so I'm really thrilled that the channel is doing as well as it is. Thanks for being here for me! Jay
Be very careful turning "switches" off because they have pros and cons . . . eventually some of them cannot be turned back on . . . and they are very important. It's so much better to just confront the stressors head first and let instincts guide you through it.
.......while i was watching dido's music video "look no further", i had bumped into this video of yours, and then i went through your channel, there were only few other videos are available to watch, something about universe had telling me to watch all of your videos, perhaps begining now, will be avid enough to follow you this is tyler wong, am from malaysia, living in singapore, age 37, single, gay, and am living journey with bipolar since 2003, and i think i am one of the advocate infj, will follow you up from now on, thank you much, hugs and take care 😇
🤭 .. I very often turn off the volume when an INFJ talks .. I get more from the hand movements and body language , facial expressions . I'd only like to have my very own island .. I pick up Everything 😶🌫️ ty Jay 🍃
@@INFJcircle I'm actually from the outer most island in penobscot bay here in Maine , population.less than .. hmm , 150 . it's closer to the north Atlantic shipping lanes then to the mainland . I'm now 7 hours to the north , 7 miles from Canadian border ( 🤔 what's with the 7 s today ) thank you for the subject on stoicism Jay , infj's are definitely stoic . very helpful indeed . 🙂
Wow Tanya, you've lived in some interesting places! I'm from a small town as well (though bigger than 150), in KY if you didn't already know. I'm glad you liked the stoic subject, trying some different things that I feel apply to INFJs. Jay
This video popped up just a little while ago and I am so glad I clicked. It comes at a time when I am struggling with some things. Everything that was discussed in this video felt very relevant to me, although the part that made my jaw drop was about how many people are not receptive to self improvement and how they become angry when you suggest a simple little thing they could do because then it takes away their excuse. I've never heard anyone put this into words before but I've experienced this reaction from people in my family and it has always baffled me... until now. Now I know why they react that way. And it makes perfect sense.
Great video as usual. Very helpful to learn how to deal with narcissists and other toxic people. I like Stoicism very much and I very much appreciate it when explained slowly as you do. Thank you! (my usual language is French)
I came across Stoicism a few years ago. It changed the way I think now. I bought a book called "The Daily Stoic" (366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance and the Art of Living) by Ryan Holiday @ Stephen Hanselman. It's been the 4th year now going over the same book each day. Always great to be reminded of timeless truths. For example, today's quote on clarity: "A person who doesn't know what the universe is, doesn't know where they are. A person who doesn't know their purpose in life doesn't know who they are or what the universe is. A person who doesn't know any of these things doesn't know why there're here. So what to make of people who seek or avoid praise of those who have no knowledge of where or who they are? (Marcus Aurelius, Meditation, 8.52). Thank you for bringing it up here too, Jay!
I've noticed that judgement and rejection only hurts when we're invested in being accepted by others. When we accept that EVERYONE faces judgement and rejection, it just becomes a part of the human experience.
This was helpful. when I think about all the dark and nefarious corruption in this world I get really depressed
Jay's advice is a must for INFJs. I have spent way too much time trying to right the wrongs. It's like playing whack-a-mole. And, surprisingly, most people do not appreciate it when corruption is exposed and dealt with. Sometimes they benefitted from it, and sometimes they are uncomfortable when someone upsets the applecart. Focus on your own corner of the world. As Voltaire wrote in his book, Candide, tend to your own garden. For the most part. I've exposed two events of corporate corruption where peoples' lives were in danger, so sometimes it's necessary.
8 INFJ Rules from Stoics
1. You can decide whether to worry about something or not.
2. People are facts, consider not resenting them.
3. You don't have to have an opinion about things.
4. Consider focusing on the present moment.
5. Other people's opinions are just their opinions.
6. Don't let external things determine the quality of your life.
7. You can't fix everything, so consider not stressing over what you can't change.
8. Consider abstaining from worry about evil you can't control.
I don't get the 'people are facts' thing. Does that mean people are who they are and you can't change them?
@@ct6852 -I think that is what it is, and just take them for who they are.
Stoicism definitely helped me as an INFJ. I no longer watch news, and I’ve learned to walk away from toxic people, which were absolutely DRAINING!
Any other things that helps?
@@JolinHarddelete social media apps like Fakebook
amen
Amen sister! ❤❤❤
Me too
This channel has the most meaningful, accurate description and advice for true INFJs.
Thank you Bryan, that means a lot to me my friend. :)
Jay
yep...like a deep breath not realizing ii'd been holding it...
Absolutely!
*This Channel SURE DOES. My Fellow INFJ Homeboy Can't Say It Enough In Every Video the Things About MANY Other People Out There Who Are Probably NOT INFJ's If They Are Not Progress-Oriented & Sometimes Wanna Treat Us Like Soundboards, BUT Are A Pathetic Lost Cause. Even Motivational Speakers Need To Learn That You Can't Help Or Save Everybody, & It's Better For You & Them That You DON'T. Even GOD Himself Doesn't Even Bother To Help Or Save Everyone, & I Can't Possibly Do the Whole Human Soundboard Thing- I'm Too No-nonsense & Moody. Anyway, This Channel Is A Godsend Like Wenzes's Is. Thumbs Up 👍, & I'm Staying Tuned For MORE.*
Agree !
I'm a Christian. And I worry alot. I pray about what is most pressing and every time these worry thoughts start up I tell myself "you don't have to think about this, you already gave it to God" it helps me alot
Woow
AMEN 🙏🙏
Prayer and trust in God is key!
that is so much easier than becoming a teacher or social worker or volunteer.
I always say, I couldn't have been a counselor...I have too many of my own unresolved problems. I'm now healing into the understanding that I may actually be helpful to others in that sorta way.
This is great and helpful choice 👌🏻
Works every time ❤
INFJs have a massive advantage over everyone else in that we like being alone.
We need a lot of alone time so we can be free from the narrow limited feeling & thinking of others. To escape that tedium.
Its rare being bored in an INFJs own head & heart.
Change the things you can. Accept the rest
YES! Great comment:)
Jay
The concept is that of the Serenity Prayer. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. “ 💛
Thank you for showing your face and making a real video. So much better than the other INFJ channels that use an automated voice to read a script. Great content. Keep it up and I hope your channel becomes wildly popular.
Thank you Dave, that means a lot to me. Working hard on more content :)
Jay
I love this channel . For just finding out Iam this personality type I’ve so enjoyed your info . Keep up the excellent work . Absolutely loved this video . Cause it is stuff we do deal with and feel it’s our responsibility for some unknown reason and guilty til I’ve reached an age that I moved on from that !!
Hey Jay,
I've been there, overwhelmed with others' energy and emotions, and I didn't know how not to do it. Learning how to establish boundaries was a tough one for me. I've also had to be careful to avoid the narcissists. I've also had to slam doors, some really dramatically and I'll admit that I've burned bridges, but they were troll infested and needed the torch. Thank you for your videos Jay. Much love to you! -Z
I love what you are saying. I really hope that it helps all the young INFJs. I didn't have a name for this personality type that I share with a few others until a little too late. I'm 38 and I have lived an insane life as an INFJ, completely riddled with narcissistic abusers. Now I am finally happy and whole but I'm going to die soon from heart failure. Accepting this is a tough pill to swallow but at least I'm not finishing the way I was, a big mess all alone and misunderstood. I'm still alone but I'm NOT a mess and that is a victory to me. I cannot wait to watch all of your content. I have devoured up everything else about us. Brings me comfort. Makes me feel not so alone. Thank you friend. ❤
You are so welcome! This post made my day. Life is hard for us INFJs. And narcissistic abuse is one of the worst things. I was in a relationship with a narcissist for about 10 years. Very difficult. I am glad that you have figured things out and you are finally whole. I am so sorry for your medical condition and I hope that you have many more years. Thanks for your comment it really meant a lot to me.
Jay
I just want to give you a big hug! I'm at the end of a lengthy divorce from my 15 yrs married to a narcissist. My father is also a narcissist. I turned 51 this Thursday and the last 3 years has been rediscovering who I am in a healthy way. I wish I knew I was an INFJ as a teen. Knowing who I am and not making myself wrong for it would have saved me so much grief. I'm praying for you for a miracle recovery and that you are not alone physically. You are never truly alone. ❤
I have had the same turmoil and late introduction that you described. I am so sorry to hear that you will transition soon. You are NOT alone and the overwhelmingly intense (good/bad) history not being able to destroy us is a miracle in itself. I am 49 and didn't know I was INFJ until a year and a half ago, around the time of my one and only sons death by Fentynyl poisoning. I'm still a wreck and just living day to day trying to become un- lost again. Knowing that I'm not crazy but rare helps. Doesn't it? (Cue maniacal laughter) god bless you on your journey.
Sending you so much love. I myself am 39 and just found out my personality type yesterday and I was also thinking about how much easier my life would have been thus far if I would have known. Wishing you strength and happiness for the rest of your days with us in this world. Godspeed.
The psychiatric community has a name for this....... Borderline Personality Disorder. After my diagnosis, after I read up on it and found out what it was and what that meant for me..... I almost killed myself lolol and why wouldn't someone after a diagnosis like that the psychiatric community makes us out to be monsters and lunatics!
A few months back I took the Meyers Briggs and came up as an infj.
Started reading about it, cuz I didn't know what that was, like I didn't know what borderline personality disorder was. I couldn't help but notice the similarities between an infj and a person diagnosed as borderline personality disorder.
After a while I just started viewing the way I am as having an infj personality rather than having a disorder.
People speak of INFJs in glowing terms.
People speak about borderline personality disorder like it's a freak show...... A dangerous one at that.
Finding these infj videos probably saved my life
Hard core infj here thanks for great support
You’re welcome!
Jay
I practice stoic philosophy and it's badass. However, I always stumble over number eight.
Because once you see the atrocities in the world of let's say little children being exploited, women and children being destroyed and eviscerated by domestic violence, somehow I cannot turn away from trying to do my best to make others aware that these people need help.
I know I can only control The Evil Within Myself, and keep the projection of evil from others out of my life, but still brother... I have a hard time sleeping at night knowing so many women and children are being destroyed every 3 seconds.
“Be thine own palace, or the world’s thy jail.”
-John Donne
Number 8, worrying about the evil in the world, eg the rise of fascism, has really been getting me down lately. I cannot bear the utter stupidity of humanity. If I leave social media it will be so I don't have to hear about or from these subhumans again.
Fascism is on the rise? I'm confused. I'm going to go ahead and guess you're definitely under 25 years old? I'm going to be 47 soon. Trust me when I say the right has lost and absurd amount of influence over the country. Mind you fascism is an "extreme" right side philosophy but you would be wrong to say the right are fascist. I'm not saying it doesn't exist. But I am saying nine times out of 10 when someone on the left is calling someone on the right a fascist they're simply saying it because they don't agree with the person on the right. Just because a lefty doesn't agree with someone on the right it doesn't make that person a fascist. Except for that one time out of 10. But the real truth is both sides have a lot of issues. Both sides can breed an extreme amount of cognitive dissonance in individuals. Both sides can poison people's minds making them become very toxic. The media then steps in making it all far far worse. I've never seen so much division in this country in my almost five decades of being here. That has progressively gotten worse and worse.
Anyways something I'm practicing these days and it is very difficult to practice that's for sure, But I'm practicing being cognizant of the fact that when I point a finger at someone there are 10 pointing back at me. I am practicing realizing that the things I hate about others is often true of myself: has its root in me and not the other person. This isn't always the case but very very often we project our own preconceived notions and fears on others therefore distorting our perception. I think if people on both sides could just understand this everything would get so much better for us.
Another thing I believe is that the reality is things have gotten so good in this country that people basically are making up reasons to feel righteous indignation. A classic philosophy is that humans enjoy righteous indignation because it makes them feel "better than" others. It's an ego stroke. It's a self-validating mechanism.
All I know is that I can relate to feeling animosity towards groups of people because their ideology is so alien and absurd to me but I am not going to continue to feel that way anymore. The reason why is because anger and frustration does not serve us well. Especially when it's righteous anger. I hope things get better for you. ♥️
Nazis considered the Jews "Subhuman".
Agreed, I feel the same. Left social media 2 weeks ago. My life is calmer.
I left all social media except LinkedIn and it reduced a lot of stress in my life. No FOMO at all!
I've wasted years of my life watching videos about news about how Trump misbehave and get p off at his supporters, and I still am wasting time on this subject. I told myself, I don't need to be mad, because inherently, I somewhat was trying to validate my set of values.
After spending way too much time on that, my present conclusion :
1) Trump exists - and I am glad that I am not him.
2) I really don't have to analyze more about this guy - he is not what I inspire to.
3) Even if I curse at him, I will not fix or accelerate his judgement.
4) When I've told myself that this person will eventually have to pay for his actions, it has happened - therefore I don't need to spend more time "hoping" that this would happen sooner.
5) He is someone of no value to me, therefore I don't put more energy on this.
I think that some profile are more fit to call him out and bring him to justice. I am grateful that there are people who do that, and I concentrate on what I am good at, still by being mindful and centered.
Something I have come to understand and experience in recent years is that presence/peace/intuition and anxiety come from two different dimensions of our selves. The ego, or conceptual (constructed and false) sense of self, with all its conditioned notions of what's good and bad, right and wrong, is the source of any anxiety we feel. Through our dominant function of Introverted Intuition, we INFJs are blessed with easier access than other types to the beingness, insight and guidance that can bubble up from the inner truth of who we are, what Jung referred to as the "transcendent function." I have found that perhaps the most essential way to have inner peace most of the time and to open and respond to our intuition is to question the truth of thoughts and anxieties that arise from the conditioned mind, from our IDEA of the world and who we are. When we question whether we can know that any thought, or judgement of ourselves or events as good or bad is true for sure, we find that we can't know this. Then, the thought dissolves, any troubling emotion triggered by the thought dissolves, and we are left feeling the peace of Presence, our true Self. In the "space" of wakeful, peace-filled Presence, no longer blocked by fears and objections from the conditioned mind, intuition can arise and guide our expression and our lives.
Love this. It reminds me of the Stoics. The conditioning of the mind to decipher what is right and wrong is very interesting. Especially in a world that "dictates" that someone needs to be married to be "normal", or can't live with their parents (just examples), etc. These can cause stress, but who is to say they are good or bad? Only your conditioned mind. Thanks Andrew!
Jay
Mooji, Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie teaches this. To question our thoughts, being in stillness and presence.
💫💖🙌🙏🙌💖💫
Such a delicate balance from time to time... much to accept on my end... which I already have... but yet to find balance and being able to create my own experience in the world... because it is not my own... it it all of ours... I hear of this and that and find solitude where it is... at any moment at any time. 💖
This is an excellent, accurate channel. My favorite prayer is " God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference. Decades of seeking truth has brought me to a place where everything is making sense. The Father gives us these gifts and the devil tries to stop us from helping others. It is an amazing journey to self transformation. God bless
I move with this serenity prayer strongly
The ability to feel energies, however uncomfortable or lovely, is a powerful tool for learning about one's life.
These “pearls of wisdom” are just part of the algorithm YT offers. This is, for me, 63 yrs too late-I had all this & lots more down just by communing w/ my inner self & my badass spirit guide !!!! I was 8 yrs old.
Surrounded by evil. I knew what was what. & I practiced stoicism, had to!!!
Video summary
Highlights:
+ [00:00:00][^3^][3] **Introduction to Stoicism and INFJ**
* Stoicism founded by Zeno of Citium
* How Stoicism can help INFJs
* Overview of the eight rules
+ [00:00:12][^4^][4] **Rule 1: Choose what to worry about**
* Worrying is a choice
* Focus on what you can control
* Avoid unnecessary suffering
+ [00:00:56][^5^][5] **Rule 2: Accept people as they are**
* People are largely unchangeable
* Accept people at face value
* Don't let others hurt you
+ [00:02:49][^6^][6] **Rule 3: Limit opinions on irrelevant matters**
* Not everything deserves your opinion
* Avoid overthinking
* Save energy for important things
+ [00:03:54][^7^][7] **Rule 4: Focus on the present moment**
* INFJs are future thinkers
* Enjoy the present fully
* Techniques to stay present
+ [00:05:49][^8^][8] **Rule 5: Trust your own opinions**
* Value your own opinions
* Avoid people-pleasing
* Maintain control over your emotions
+ [00:06:46][^9^][9] **Rule 6: Don't let externals determine your life**
* Control your reactions
* Escape anxiety
* Realize your inner power
+ [00:07:48][^10^][10] **Rule 7: Don't stress over unchangeable things**
* Some events and people can't be changed
* Focus on self-improvement
* Avoid negative influences
+ [00:08:04][^11^][11] **Rule 8: Abstain from worrying about uncontrollable evil**
* Focus on your own choices
* Don't feel guilty for others' wrongdoings
* Put effort into what you can control
I was in a spiral of overthinking that it just gets mind draining. I’m so glad i found this video
Omgosh I just can’t deal with the news such as FOX or CNN! It’s just too much! Thank you for acknowledging that it’s just too much.
This is so valuable!! As someone who is perfectionistic and idealistic, I definitely needed this as a reminder.
I am often prone to overthinking and the point about not giving energy to negative things that have not happened is great
To get out of my Ni loop, I find that doing my crafts better helps me with focus and being in the moment. Most of the Ni Dom people that I've shared this point with, tend to agree with that assessment as well. The harder the task at hand, the better your focus becomes. You are having to draw on your deeper creativity, and problem solving, when they may arise with a project. I assemble 1/12 scale dollhouses and I have become familiar with more than my fair share of problem solving skills involved with it. 😂
This is the very best site on INFJ. Helpful, smart insightful, excellent quotes. You put a lot of research into this. Thanks. Listening on repeat to drive these nuggets of wisdom down deep
I discovered stoic philosophy about a year ago through Ryan Holiday’s videos and realized I’ve been a stoic most of my life. My daughter is the one that explained to me that I am also an INFJ personality type. Stoicism is definitely a helpful philosophy for me.
Your probably Sigma as well.
Probably heyoka types to lol
Yes yes yes!Agree to these facts! No one has power over me - narcissists, control freaks, mind game players! Pfft!
I would love tips on how to “discard” anxiety. It would be so helpful.
I also wonder if any other INFJ’s get exhausted from constantly feeling like you have to improve yourself or be better all the time?
Hi Eric, lately for me it has gotten exhausting to try to improve myself, and seeing the best out of everything, overall because I am the only one doing it, and the other parts do not care, so it feels one sided. However, now I am trying to recognize that I have improved in many aspects and feel happy about it, and not rush into more improvements. Also recognize that your efforts are for you to feel happy with yourself and enjoy the person you have already build.
I was drawn to that book six months ago and it’s brought me great peace as I practised detachment. In a way it’s given me another super power of not caring about toxic people that I seem to be magnet. I love the stoic wisdom
Amen and Thank you. Love and light. 💡 💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡
Thank you. I was so stressed, then watched this video & I calmed down considerably.
I'm so glad Terry! Life can really get heavy for us INFJs. I understand that feeling of stress. I'm glad the video helped. Thanks for letting me know, means a lot.
Jay
The Desiderata...Go quietly among the noise and haste..... You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and stars. You have a right to be here 💖💖
Something that helps me is accepting that “you can’t save them all.” I’ve heard that from both law enforcement and the medical field
I think that’s really hard for us INFJs to accept, but so necessary. Thanks for the comment!
Jay
Maaaannn, I so wished that i had this knowledge 30 years ago, better late than never. I'm enjoying catching up with your videos, thanks for taking the time to produce and post🙏
Thank you so much! I've been dealing with this on my own for so long, it's so nice to find folks who have similar experiences. What a relief!
This is big for me too.
My wrongs don't necessarily have to be your wrongs, depending on how desensitized you are. I had to learn to meet people exactly where there are at at that point in time Knowing , what's my business, what's God's business, their business, and none of my business. Picking my battles, asking myself how important is it to my serenity level. I also had to learn not to take on other people's pain & not waste my time with those who are more comfortable sitting in their own shit. It's either your anchor or your sail. I soon found that my liabilities became my greatest asset's. In order to be honest and humble you have to accept the fact that you are fallible. Pain is inevitable suffering is an option. Acceptance does not mean approval. Not my job to fix you. The biggest freedom is to be able to say I don't know or I'm wrong. Try to get in solutions instead of staying in the problems. Stay open-minded in order to be teachable
One of my daughter's favorite sayings was minds are like umbrellas they operate best when they're open
That is a ton of wisdom. I read it all and agree with it all! Thanks for posting that!
Jay
@@INFJcircleSomeone else taught me, nothing original I had many teachers with lots of work & still a work in progress lol hell you'd think I'd be perfect by now 😜 I fall short on a daily basis.
@@Kelsbell I fall short daily too. But that's what us INFJs do. Learn and grow. Keep it up!
Thank you for this video!
1. I gave up worrying a long time ago, thanks to Jesus!
"Cast all your cares on HIM for He cares for you." -1 Peter 5:7
"Don't sweat the small stuff. It's ALL small stuff!"
2. People are facts! Again, I have come to accept people as they are. I always go back to the poem "If," by Rudyard Kipling!
The ENTIRE poem, but especially,
" If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too;.............If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;.."
3. You don't have to have an opinion about things!
I am learning to hold back when I hear someone speak or watch a video and want to add my 2 cents. (It didn't work on this video :)
4. Focus on the present and Predicting future outcomes:
For many years I have told people things that were going to happen, even years down the road. I've even called talk shows and told the hosts. Each time I've been scoffed at. Then years later, it happens. I feel like I'm behind a thick glass wall trying to get people's attention and tell them what I see, but nobody seems to listen.
5. I DO trust my opinions because I RESEARCH!
I am very staunch about standing for the truth and what I know is right, regardless of others or consequences!
The Asch Conformity Experiment showed that 75% of people ARE susceptible to group think, peer pressure and conformity!
Scripture tells us "Do not follow the crowd to do evil." - Exodus 23:2
6. Do not let external things determine your quality of life:
and
7. Not stressing over things I can't change.
and
8. Abstaining from worry over evil you cannot control.
Amen! God has given me the power to change the things I can, the patience to accept what I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference!
I am only one, but I AM one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And the something I can do, I should do, and by the grace of God, I WILL do! -Edward Everett Hale
Yes to all this
As long as you understand that heaven is within you and "God" resides in heaven, you are in a good mental space...
YES!!! If by Rudyard Kipling is my favourite poem!
@@thedude5740 nonsense
@@DeeDeex007o that and the windhover by Gerard Manley Hopkins
You are so correct with this.
I'm going to sound Soo silly here, but,,
I really thought majority of people just knew or saw life like this.
But with running across people like you,, well I just don't feel so alone.
I still get thrown off with how others are.
~I've just always wanted a safe place to fall ❣️~
When you are out in the world it’s hard to imagine sometimes that there are others out there who think like you do. Thanks for sharing!
Jay
I love when you said that if they’re not doing what I want to be doing or think is honorable, then why do I let their insults mean anything. So powerful
Brilliant. Thank you for this.
This is all true.
And it also reenforces the fact that ppl can be a pain in the as-
Especially when they are always sh--ing in your salad while they are in your kitchen.
Great points. I think people throughout time have known that a good majority of people have something about them that is going to cause you big problems. So, being able to leave them to their own devices and focus on what you can control can be a huge help. Thanks for the comment!
Jay
Recently discovered...at the tender age of 50-something...that this is my personality type. This explains a LOT. Thank you for the clarity.
I think this is great advice for anyone, but as an INFJ, I would think that.
All good stuff here Sir! Three/six months ago I finished 'Meditations' by MA...it was life-changing in many ways. I'm still learning every day the meaning of the phrase "Not my problem."
I repeat it like a mantra..."Not my circus, not my monkeys."
It is very life changing. I think it's because he was an INFJ as well. He seems to think in the same patterns we do. Thanks for the comment Buckley.
Jay
love that mantra @Meagie's Muse
@@meagiesmuse2334 Boom! Yes! Lol
@@meagiesmuse2334strangely enough I’ve been saying this quote to myself lately followed by may God bless them! With love, power and wisdom ❤ ehhe
This is all very intellectual. Stoicism comes from a time when they weren’t aware of emotional repression and trauma. For me, no amount of changing my thoughts or believing one idea or another has ever helped me move towards health.
The only thing that has ever truly worked for me is to feel the rage, fear, shame and grief that is buried deep in my stomach and chest. Each layer I feel through moves me towards becoming more fully myself.
I am definitely a Stoic. There is so much truth and support in this podcast. Thank you. I use craftwork to keep me present ❤
This video is such a God-send to me, thank you so much! I am so grateful. I can now quit trying to figure out why people don't align with me (having tried everything!) when all I want to do is work together towards something good! This video just solidified and made me feel GREAT about my decision to resign instead of having any of the lingering guilt that I have been feeling regarding this decision.
I will tell you Beverly, I relate to what you are saying so much. Wanting to work towards a greater good but nobody is interested. I hope that the videos will help you (if even just a little) to find your place (and your peace). Thanks for watching!
Jay
I truly enjoyed this video. I adopted Stoicism as a high school student, and Marcus Aurelius is one of my favorites. Now I know why. We didn't have the Meyer-Briggs Personality test when I was in school. So I was always the misfit, and had to figure out how to 'fix' myself. Stoicism helped alot. Now I know why.
Years later, an employer had a psychologist come in and give all of us the MB Personality test. That is when I found out about the 16 different types of personalities, and that I am an INFJ...That help also, though it still took me years to learn that it is okay for me to be ME.
Bro mad props on your vidoes, seriously hits like a gut punch. Being an infj is tuff as bricks, but it a little lighter knowing that others like yourself are out there and clearly understand how you feel and think.
Thank you, my friend, it is tough to be an INFJ but we all need to know we are not alone. Thanks so much for watching!
Jay
I love your use of stoicism fellow infj here and when my entp friend introduced me to that philosophy it was a game changer
that last point hit like a sack of bricks. I believe this is the reason why i sank into addiction for so long, so much injustice in the world right now and it felt hopeless for me. Now I realise I need be a force of calm good because others won't do it.
So, I'm a Holistic lifestyle coach, and love helping people, and those that come to me say they want my help..but I have come to the realization after watching some(nearly all at this point 😂)of your videos, that just because people choose you, doesn't mean you should just take on everyone. I have to be more discerning. They say they want help, but sometimes they just want to ease their guilt by seemingly doing something about their issues by hiring me, and then when I give them the action plan, they resist😑 I get it now 😁
Yes, human psychology is very deep. Not everyone who says they want help really want help. Thank you for your comment!
Jay
I have been grateful to find your content! Thanks for sharing!
My 10 year old daughter and I have been using a phrase that sums up the mantra "I will not give the power to determine my emotions. My emotions are under my power alone." in a slightly different way. Same concept. "Don't give (that person) the keys to your car."
I have been looking at books of the Stoics and I can honestly say I find them very sensible .
Yes, super sensible. I think their advice applies very well to us INFJs!
Jay
@@INFJcircle It really does.
@@spmoran4703 I buy mine fr am a zon , very affordable 🙂
@@im_noToKa That's were I got my books I think Marcus Aurelious could be INFJ.
I once became too frustrated and consulted with a psycologist. I told her that I am an INFJ thinking it might help her to understand me better. To my utter surprise she never heard of MBTI and told me not to see these on internet . I can relate to INFJ struggles and feelings a lot but as she indirectly resented this I get confused. However this video helped me a lot thanks. Please reply me
It's not surprising that she disliked MBTI, but it is very strange that she told you she never heard of it. It is very popular in her field (though not looked well upon).
Anyway, I think psychologists don't like it because it isn't empirically verifiable and possibly because it gives solutions without consulting them (loss of money). They are taught not to trust MBTI.
But the truth is that not everything is empirically verifiable. What about love? Can we verify love in a lab? No. So, things exist which aren't verifiable in a lab. Especially thought processes, etc.
So, I would tell you that MBTI isn't like astrology, it is not based on when you were born, etc. It's a measurement system for your thought patterns and how you feel about things (your personality).
It seems there are patterns there (certain types) and MBTI simply measures those through testing and puts you in a category.
Thanks for the comment!
Jay
This supports my recent comment to this video.
Thank you for replying. Keep making more videos helpful for us infjs . 😇
@@tanhabintetarik1637 No problem. Will do, thank you my friend.
Me too,, psychology is out of touch
Today I found this channel and I feel so blessed already. Thank you so much 🎉❤
You are so welcome! Thank you for joining us in the circle!
Jay
@@INFJcircle I am so glad I found this channel and you are making things understand in a wonderful way. I have joined the newsletter. Thank you again for the great work. 😌
Thank you brother.
You are welcome!
Jay
Fascinating that I’ve studied Marcus Aurelius and stoicism.
You’ve hit many of my characteristics yet am unsure if I’m an INFJ.
I carry a copy of Meditations on me! And this was before I found how I’m an INFJ. What a time to be alive!!
I’m a Christian, and my power is in my prayers to God. He is the lover of my life, and He’s always available. I have a son who is narcissistic. He’s fun to be with, but pretty shallow. I have a daughter, but she has health issues, so she’s never available except in an emergency. I have learned to not depend on people, but take them for what they are. I’m always looking for their gifts and talents, and try to encourage them. It is so true about people not caring to succeed in life. They simply plod along, and hope things will improve for them. That kind of thinking is so strange to me. I’m constantly trying new things. It can even be scary for me sometimes, because I have a fear of failure. Anyway, I would just like to say that the information above was very helpful. Thank you so much.
wow, you really know the true INFJ.
thank you for the excellent video.
This is really helpful thank you. It doesn’t address “how” to change automatic thinking after becoming aware of these salient points. Sometimes being aware can be enough but it also seems this personality ties strongly into childhood or other life traumas. For many years, 12step meetings helped me immensely through truthful dialogue and group support.
Again super vid and thank you. Good daily listening.
Omg 😳 I point out how people can improve I simply can’t understand why they wouldn’t want to!!!
Holy WoW!! I had never heard of stocism until today, but I'm definitely a stoic!!! I mean I try very hard to live by these principles.
The stoics were pretty wise! I enjoy their insight into life.
These lessons also apply heavily to INTJs. Great content. Thank you.
Omg it’s crazy how much this has helped me. I did not know I was an INFJ, never heard of it before today. I have been binge watching all morning and this video explains so much of my life these last few years. For the first time I’m feeling a sense of relief and hope. Thank you so much!
You are very welcome! It’s a big day when you find out you are INFJ!
Jay
This is wonderful advice as we all suffer terribly so need lot of reassuring and advice, somethings we almost never ask for. Never in my case. I KNOW that my life would be so much better if I could apply these rules.Thank - you. Heard an infj recently in his 60s who actually thought he had psychological problems till he realised he is an INFJ. I think this sums up how a lot of us feel about our personalities.
INFJ here! I appreciate your videos and enjoy watching them. I learned a little about myself, but understanding how I think and respond to situations brings me peace. Thank you for the INFJ Circle.
When you worry about something in the future, instead of having that one experience when or if it happens, your mind is going to replay it over and over in your head at least a dozen times before it even happens, so you unnecessarily produced massive amounts of cortisol (stress hormones) inside your body by "imagining" that experience a dozen times... that'll probably not going to happen anyways.
Glad you're producing videos INFJ Circle, it seems the INFJ grew in such popularity that the mistypes usurped almost all the INFJ forums and videos that doesn't resonate with me, your channel does.
Thank You!
This is fascinating because I am into becoming stoic!!
This is probably the best advice on INFJ's/Empaths I've seen thus far!
This help me a lot (today) 😢
Will have to listen to this everyday to prevent myself from turning into villain mode 😥
#5. Spot on.
Great video
This is perfect for me right now. Just had a falling out with an old acquaintance tonight. Long story short: I stood in my truth and much prefer my reality to hers. Adios, amiga!
I'm not sure I agree that what I think about is always a choice, but I've had some relief with tapping. Love the "People are facts"!
I love the Stoics . I have learned not to worry or panic and my life is a great deal better.
I recognised much of myself in Marcus Aurelius . Even though I am a woman.
The Stoics are great observers of life . And I am enjoying reading what they thought in daily readings .
New to you, and you get a like despite your citations not applying so much to my situation- still refreshing flexibility of mind, and thinkable..
Thank you for being genuine and sharing these videos!! It has made a positive difference for me!!❤
It was my reading of Marcus Aurelius and the Stoics that got me intrested in this whole personality thing. No one can hurt you unless you let them.
Of the billions of postings professing to be ‘experts’ on us weirdo INFJs I find yours to be the most insightful and grounded. Commendable that you quote such imminence as Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius. This is truly respectable and valuable perspective. Thanks for your scholarship in your subject matter. Quite helpful!
Thank you I was just talking to my therapist about this
I usually find it pretty difficult to find INFJ videos I can actually agree with, or even respect. But I really like the subjects you brought up.
Except for INFJ Morality. There's a lot of factors they tend to either ignore or instinctively forget depending on their emotional state. But you seem to have addressed some of the common issues as well.
I'd like to share some of the graphs I've been working on with you, if it's alright with you. I'd like to get your honest thoughts and opinions. I want to make sure everything is as useful and accurate as possible before officially releasing them.
Man, you keep describing my life.
Sorry, I'm so quiet. I do appreciate your videos. Thanks so much.
Thanks so much. You are an excellent speaker, and I love your accent. Great videos.. all of them. I know you'll get this part ➡ It's really hard being alone so often, listening to your videos lets myself [and others] know that we can be alone together! 🙏
I completely agree with this, and it is hard to be alone sometimes. I’m glad this community allows you to feel some company while you’re spending your alone time. Thank you for the comment!
Jay
No 7 is so painfully true! Had to learn that lesson 😅
Thank you for this accurate, informational video which is essential for INFJs.
Glad it was helpful! You are very welcome, thanks for letting me know you enjoyed it.
Jay
Wow, i can actually feel the shadow ninja side of myself by just listening to this video👍
Wow! Each video just gets better and better! Well done! ❤🙌
Thank you so much!! That means a lot to me. We are just getting started so I'm really thrilled that the channel is doing as well as it is. Thanks for being here for me!
Jay
Youre very accurate. Its very reassuring. What an excellent speaker. A true INFJ
Thank you my friend.
Jay
Be very careful turning "switches" off because they have pros and cons . . . eventually some of them cannot be turned back on . . . and they are very important. It's so much better to just confront the stressors head first and let instincts guide you through it.
.......while i was watching dido's music video "look no further", i had bumped into this video of yours, and then i went through your channel, there were only few other videos are available to watch, something about universe had telling me to watch all of your videos, perhaps begining now, will be avid enough to follow you
this is tyler wong, am from malaysia, living in singapore, age 37, single, gay, and am living journey with bipolar since 2003, and i think i am one of the advocate infj, will follow you up from now on, thank you much, hugs and take care 😇
🤭 .. I very often turn off the volume when an INFJ talks .. I get more from the hand movements and body language , facial expressions .
I'd only like to have my very own island .. I pick up Everything
😶🌫️
ty Jay 🍃
Awesome Tanya. We can definitely read so much without words. I wouldn’t mind having my own island sometimes too lol.
@@INFJcircle I'm actually from the outer most island in penobscot bay here in Maine , population.less than .. hmm , 150 .
it's closer to the north Atlantic shipping lanes then to the mainland . I'm now 7 hours to the north , 7 miles from Canadian border ( 🤔 what's with the 7 s today )
thank you for the subject on stoicism Jay , infj's are definitely stoic .
very helpful indeed . 🙂
Wow Tanya, you've lived in some interesting places! I'm from a small town as well (though bigger than 150), in KY if you didn't already know. I'm glad you liked the stoic subject, trying some different things that I feel apply to INFJs.
Jay
@@INFJcircle INFJ community very encouraging for me , very gifted folk .
thank you Jay for accepting me 🕯️
@@im_noToKa You are so welcome and right back at you Tanya :)
This video popped up just a little while ago and I am so glad I clicked. It comes at a time when I am struggling with some things. Everything that was discussed in this video felt very relevant to me, although the part that made my jaw drop was about how many people are not receptive to self improvement and how they become angry when you suggest a simple little thing they could do because then it takes away their excuse. I've never heard anyone put this into words before but I've experienced this reaction from people in my family and it has always baffled me... until now. Now I know why they react that way. And it makes perfect sense.
Very helpful advice.l only discovered this channel today.
Welcome aboard! Thanks for watching, hope to see you around :)
Jay
Excellent video. More please! Great topic.
Great video as usual.
Very helpful to learn how to deal with narcissists and other toxic people.
I like Stoicism very much and I very much appreciate it when explained slowly as you do.
Thank you!
(my usual language is French)
Thanks so much - happy to have you here!
Jay
You hit the nail on the head! I love your channel and subscribed. I'm so happy. I have finally found my people! Thank you💖
You are so welcome, and yes, we are here for ya!
Jay
I came across Stoicism a few years ago. It changed the way I think now. I bought a book called "The Daily Stoic" (366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance and the Art of Living) by Ryan Holiday @ Stephen Hanselman. It's been the 4th year now going over the same book each day. Always great to be reminded of timeless truths. For example, today's quote on clarity: "A person who doesn't know what the universe is, doesn't know where they are. A person who doesn't know their purpose in life doesn't know who they are or what the universe is. A person who doesn't know any of these things doesn't know why there're here. So what to make of people who seek or avoid praise of those who have no knowledge of where or who they are? (Marcus Aurelius, Meditation, 8.52). Thank you for bringing it up here too, Jay!
Yes! This is a great book! Bite-size chunks of fantastic advice every day throughout the year. A great INFJ resource.
Jay