This was amazing! I watched their family hiking documentary so I was jazzed to see them on your channel. And to read that they were raised in the same religious upbringing as I was and have done a lot of the same deconstruction...my lucky day! Undoing religious sexual shame is a whole body healing experience, mental, physical, emotional, spiritual. It's beautiful to hear the stories of other's who are experiencing the same. Thank you for inviting them on and thank you for sharing!
As someone who has healed from awful sexual trauma through not having sex until marriage and obtaining a healthy relationship with a church that is open and accepting, it was awesome to hear from another perspective! thanks for sharing!
Loved talking to you guys about this topic. Thank you for sharing so openly and bravely over the years and allowing us to be a part of it. - Ben and Kami
Y'all. This made me wanna cry (because of how validating it was to hear). I've drawn so much wisdom and encouragement from your channel over the past several years, but never in my wildest dreams did I expect to hear a story in this space that so directly mirrors my own journey out of evangelical purity culture and into polyamory and ex-evangelical sex positive circles. I'm still personally invested in some progressive Christian circles, but as a polyamorous sex positive person, most of my evangelical family members and friends have now ostracized me. And I was explicitly pushed out of my last (ever) evangelical church for opposing leaders on their "one size fits all" ideas of gender roles, relationships, and sexuality. Thank you so much for speaking on this and sharing this story. It's incredibly relatable and encouraging to hear of others on a similar journey toward liberation.
Ok, so I'm just going to lay this out there..... I have absolutely no clue what "sex-positive" means, but if someone here could please educate me, I'd be greatly appreciative.
I just got really emotional thinking of how much you too have given me. I started watching your content around when I was 16 years old, I am 22 now and I truly think my life and they way I want to live it would be radically different in a looooot of ways if I hadn't found your channel, or better said if it hadn't found me. You have shown me how I want to love, how I want relationship to be in the center of my life and what tools I need to develop to truly bring that dream to life. I related a lot to what Ben said about how watching this channel gave him hope. From the bottom of my soul thank you Connor and Brittany for being such amazing roll models, and showing us how awesome relationship can be. Lots of love from Spain ❤️❤️
I'm a long time subscriber to both your channels. I'm a 26yr old mama with 3 kids that I plan on homeschooling and have always been in a poly relationship with their papa. This collab was really exciting for me as I've benefited and learned a lot from everyone's content. Thank you for sharing this and yes, your words inspire me even though I have had much of a different upbringing.
Thank you for this video. I’ve been divorced for 4 years now and free from the manipulation of religion. I feel free to be me. It’s been a long journey in de-programming my beliefs for the past 30 years but I have so much gratitude for the awakening. Sending love and light to you guys!
I'm single and celibate. I used to miss having the option to have sex, but now it's a non issue. I'd rather save that part of myself for a committed life partner. Initially, that was a religious choice, but now it's more about the personal value I place on my time and energy. For those who are feeling like Christianity is putting a taboo on extra marital sex, and thus restricting your freedom, perhaps consider that abstinence gives you more freedom to develop yourself and accomplish your goals in life. Still, good to hear this perspective on how some churches can be unnecessarily oppressive and drive out good hearted people in the process.
This is so appreciated, I’m only part way through but it really resonated with me, a lot of the sexual trauma that comes from purity culture in the church. Thank you for illuminating this.
This was an absolutely amazing interview. Amazing that Kami and Ben broke free from the confines they were experiencing in Christianity. It's utterly sad how many people (I relate) have been robbed of experiencing healthy Sexuality due to the shame and distortions of religion. Way to go Kami and Ben. 💜💜💜💜💜💜
ABSOLUTELY!!! I was raised Catholic and in 17 yrs of schooling there were only 4 that weren't at a Catholic school. Parents married 50 yrs. They will never know I we are bi, and kinky. They have an a idea we are poly because my mom got to nosy one day. She said I didn't share. So I over shared a bit. 😉
Nat, it's such a gift to receive this comment from you. We love getting a glimpse of a bit more of you too. We love you and this impact and appreciation so much!
Love this! As someone who was raised very religious, and left at a young age, I still struggle to work through so many of these things. Especially loosing loved ones and community. It is great to see the courage Kami and Ben have to question, and make different decisions! Thank you!
Listening to this, I see how my early religious training messed up my sexuality and feelings of self worth. Being told I was a sinner and a deviant for having sexual feelings brought decades of shame that I'm still unpacking. Thank goodness I didn't stay in the cult of Christianity past the age of 30. Since then I've started healing from the mental abuse, and finding out that I'm not the monster that religion tells me I am. Thank you for sharing your similar path. I can relate.
I need to share, people aren’t God. God is perfect, people aren’t. I am sad the people in your church were judgmental and not open to listening to what your thoughts and feelings were and maybe if there would have been more openness and understanding you all would still be living a christian life. I am a christian and while I do believe the bible is true and for my good to heed the information as important to follow, I also dislike how christians aren’t very in tune with emotions and I have often felt invalidated and unseen. In my case, I have experienced God in a beautiful way and I have chosen to surrender it to Him and let go of needing other people’s validation. It is a personal relationship with God, not with people. I think bringing it all to God helps the relationships with people to flourish. I have experienced tangible interactions with God and nothing in the world has ever satisfied me like Him, even if I do experience pain. He is good and if one believes this to be true, He has each person’s best interest in mind. Not believing this doesn’t make it untrue, it just makes life harder. I do hope you all find your way back to God at some point.
If you look at the state of the world.... Kids born out of wedlock.... Not growing up with a father.... aborting children who were created out of lust. Single mothers having to bear the burden of raising children on one income. There is a reason why marriage is best before having children.
@@phinak8588 And what happens when sex leads to pregnancy.... and neither party is ready to have kids? Off to the abortion clinic they go. It's heartbreaking.
@@phinak8588 there is no such thing as expressing yourself "sexually". Sex is a carnal act necessary for reproduction, not pleasure. But through pride us human beings have given in to lust and desire and abandoned truth and order.
Would love Conor and Brittany to address this view point. It’s a very valid statement and quite sadly the reality of giving too much into the pleasures of the flesh.
Nice content thanks to all of you! I would have loved to hear Kami speaking a little more. Maybe next time you could use a tool to reach equal speech proportions :)
I'm 50/50 on this. I'm not against poly it's just I've seen so many friends end their relationships hating each other after trying an open relationship.
I am so happy for this conversation! Both of your channels have been the most influential channels I have followed over the years. Excited to see you guys together! Hopefully there will be more in the future 🥰
thank you kami and ben so much ! my experiance with community and traditions within that community are very different from what you were sharing. but i feel so many of your insights and experiences with shame, ideals and change resonate very deeply. love to listen to your story of stepping into your own path.
We love this reflection. We love that you've had different experiences with the community that you've been connected with. We love the resonance we all share with stepping into our own paths! Thank you for sharing in this conversation here! Sending you love!!
I Have followed all of you for quite a while now and started to see the overlap on instagram a while back.. so glad to see you come together even if I’ve already heard a large part of this from Kami and Ben I still enjoyed the entire retelling and seeing you guys talk through it all together. I really have so much respect for Kami and Ben for being willing to open and change their mind about such big topics that people often hold on to and cause a lot of pain to others because of. They were brave and strong to go through that. I absolutely respect and admire their journey and the way they are parenting and living life. I’ve taken a lot from all four of you and thank you all for sharing.
We love this share so much. We love that you've been witness to us all coming together. We love your appreciation and admiration for their journey and how they choose to live life now. Thank you for this all!
I love, love, LOVE this! I have tried to be at peace with religion, but it was so terribly abusive and hurtful in my life, I feel angry at what it still does to people. Thank you for sharing your beautiful journey of recovery and resilience with the world! SO happy to hear this couple share!
This has been great to listen to. From my own experience with similar religious background. Something that has always stood out for me is the assertion that judgement is only God's right and yet as their experiences show that too often the most judgemental people are others within many of these religious communities and the damage it does. Considering the most important commandments are supposed to be about love, compassion and acceptance and yet the reality of being part of these groups is the absolute opposite. Much love to this fantastic powerful couple.
Oooph, your authenticity shines through and I love how honest and open each of you in this video are. You're very inspiring to my relationship and how I perceive and interact with love.
Isn't it interesting that the further you get away from religion the closer you can get to Jesus...coming from similar background, I'm happy for you guys.
❤️ Wow, I was raised in church (non denominational) too and the way that they told their journey felt so similar to what I experienced as well. Thankful for all 4 of you to share so authentically and boldly. Watching this has felt really connecting and eye opening.
Kami and Ben’s story was very relatable. I grew up in a catholic family and went to catholic school until I was 18. My family went to church every single week. I could def relate to the feelings of shame and guilt around sexuality and sexual expression. I still struggle with it. It was really inspiring to hear how Kami and Ben grew together to form a partnership that feels best for them :) I love it ❤️
Wow! Loved this video. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Conor made a great point, your situation is probably more extreme than most of us. But, definitely some thought processes and social cultures that still apply to a lot of us just in a different way. Love seeing the 4 of you living your best lives and thanks again for inspiring the rest of us!
Did this couple come to all these realizations at the exact same time? If not, who was the first to ask the questions and encourage the other to initiate the launch sequence? And did these changes ever challenge one or the other’s autonomy in any way? How do two separate individuals have parroting thoughts? How does a couple get to such a place and why do they want to?
ooh, these are great questions!! Thank you for sharing them here. @fightfortogether have you shared any videos or content that speaks to any of these that I could recommend Stacey check out/
@@conorandbrittany We have the 10 hour version of our story here: ruclips.net/p/PL34xHw8SldTZjcAaxt9ukTQRtVW-L_jG- But the long story short is that we did not come to the same realization at the same time. We believe different things now and are ok with that but have also put a ton of time and energy into communication/therapy and that has helped us to appreciate what we have in common.
I was called jezebel from my Christian community and I had the similar experience of being ex communicated by a group of church people. It's disgusting what behaviors they allow in the name of God! Also wish I lived in you alls community. Sounds so open and welcoming.
I truly love this interview. Thank you. I've been on a similar journey, and it's such a inspiring relief to know that other couples are unsubscribing to the unauthentic pressure s of what marriage can be for some, and creating a beautiful love story of your own .
I grew up evangelical as well. Hearing all of you talk about this, it's all so true and sometimes really painful to deal with. First of all, made me cry to hear ya'll say ya'll got a divorce! Because my partner and I did as well. And just as you said, we were more in love and even closer after the divorce. We got divorced because we no longer agreed with the legal, proof of marriage, binding, Christian standards that marriage is. It's so amazing to hear someone else that did the exact same thing we did. The part about sex and Christianity is a heavy burden to carry. What Brittany said about feeling those sexual urges at 14, that's COMPLETELY normal. But as a Christian you're taught that's evil and so wrong. Having to suppress those urges that are just naturally happening to your body is extremely difficult, especially at that age. When my partner and I got married as Christians it was SO HARD to not feel guilty to have sex with him. It's hard to be told your whole life that sex is wrong and sinful, and then you get married and your suppose to be able to just jump right in. It doesn't work that way. Thank you so much for sharing your deep truth!
Religion teaches you sex is wrong. I think it talks about extra and pre marital sex being wrong. I don’t think it has any rules about how you manage your sexuality. Please educate me if I’m misinformed not really a religious person myself just quoting from memory lol.
I just clicked but I am so excited to see these two couples that i have been watching both oyour journeys for so long and now y'all are interacting and im so excited! Love yall! (Juke aka Millie)
21:35 I really appreciate everything you shared, and this is the buttercream of your effort. My partner was raised in the church, and he often shares your videos with me so that I can relate with him. I'm so happy that you did this interview, it helps him explain his sexuality (or shame of it) and his desire to be connected. I love being part of his self discovery and growth. To Cammie and Ben, thank you for your interview. Sharing experiences in life can often feel scary; yet I find most interesting is that although our journey is drastically different there are so many common threads. Such as, I was raised by swingers and taught to have orgasm because it was healthy and my birthright. However, I was never taught how to love. When I came out as Polyamorous I too lost most of my family and friends because the lifestyle was too vulnerable. I trust that those who are still in our lives choose to do so because they love us for who we are 💓 Honestly, Respectfully, and with Valor may we continue to grow.
26:22 "I'm gonna wake up everyday and kick my own ass so life doesn't hand it to me." Writing this everywhere in my house ♥️ Wonderful amazing share. Beautiful couples, full of support and openness. Your channel continues to help me create a new space to challenge what I have accepted in my life and relationships, and discover what *I* desire. Thank you. I hope fate let's me run into you someday
I want to hear more from the woman...:) Funny to see how one in the couple speaks a lot more than the other. I would love more balance in this area, but, hey! It is what it is
You guys are great, I think I thought I was just weird but im seeing im not the only one who thinks like this haha My partner and I live separately and have done so for 5 years and it's great. it works for us, his there for me when I need it and visa versa. People think its strange but we love each other and we both also love our own space and freedom so it just works, im very grateful I found someone who can understand that and trusts me 🙂
Wow, is that a Noam Chomsky tattoo? Love it. This is a refreshingly well spoken group. I think authentic loving breeds growth, even abundance, which is interesting to hear/see from this perspective, esp as one who grew up in Catholicism and trouble. There's this black and white local way of "just have kids, get with someone and be monogamous right away before getting acquainted and staying put or just fuck people you don't really enjoy or share passion or anything with". None of which really resonates. It's so good and encouraging to see team work and humans partnering through love and support as opposed to a bitterness- that challenges can lead to a more fulfilled growth, communication and cocollaberation in real life.
I identified with the couple that was told the so many sexual things were wrong like masterbation and other touching or seeing another naked body, etc. I was raised that my body was dirty and doing anything pleasurable to myself was wrong.
This interview was so beautiful. I was raised in a very similar type of church community. What a beautiful share! Beautiful humans! Yay for growing!!!!
I dunno what kind of Evangelic church they were going to but my church is supportive & full of love.. yes we do believe to save ourselves for marriage & I don’t think that’s a bad thing at all cause God made a man and a woman for each other not to have multiple partners .. I dunno if I understood correctly but I believe they just wanted to explore their sexualities more so they pulled back from the church!! honestly what’s the point of having multiple partners when u can have 1 who u know and truly love & can explore & learn everything together… they made it seem like they escaped a cult but being an evangelic Christian is nothing like that it’s an amazing feeling to know that u have Jesus watching over u & leading u the right way & knowing that He’s always with u…. & to know that u have brothers and sisters in Christ who are there for u no matter what.. I didn’t appreciate how they made Christians look cause it’s not how we are!!!
I have RTS (Religious Trauma Syndrome). This whole story resonates so deeply within me. Thank you for sharing! I find so much connection listening to the deconstruction of others binary viewpoints. There is more than just black and white ways of being. There is so much colour and vibrancy if only you peek outside of the boundaries religion sets for you. I feel since recognizing my anxiety and shame grew from my deconversion and the events surrounding that whole journey - I am better able to let go and relax into who I am in this moment. There is more love and openness in my heart than when I was religious. There is more free flowing kindness and compassion. I feel more able to look on others without judgement and accept them as other humans - fully in the moment. Thank you again for your channel and your openness with all of us. I find you fascinating honestly, lol.
This is an incredible story so far... Im barely 15 minutes into it listening. Basically this year for me I went through this spiritual awakening and stepped away from Christianity just like these guys did. I still have friends saying that I am a Christian when it doesn't really align for me as an identity anymore. I had so much guilt and shame around sex too. Purity culture (remaining sexually abstained until marriage is what christians call purity) is so damaging! Christianity taught me to completely disconnect from myself as I was taught that I was a sinner and that my heart was wicked. I was taught that I was NOTHING without Jesus... but fuck that. Fuck all of those toxic beliefs... I'll listen some more to this video but I had to push pause and say this. Thank you so much for sharing this video it's going to impact so many people xoxo
Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful reflection. Thank you for pausing to share this passion. I love the path you've been on. Sending so much love.
sad that bible school was just a place to meet your spouse, that was the main reason why teens went.. or why kids got married so early... so they could have sex... thats what i grew up with, i totally know where they are coming from... i was a virgin till i was 30 and then i finally got free from the shameful belief system. im still recovering but at least i feel ok having sex now eventhough im single.
Hi Julia. Just wanted to respond real quick. Hope you don't mind. Just wanted to say there's a difference between those who follow a religion and those who follow Christ. Christ wasn't about a religion. He was about a relationship with Himself. I've been following Christ for 27 years and have found many people in the faith who are all about the religion aspect, but I've found waaaaay more who are more about a relationship with Christ and choosing to love others before judging them. Sounds like Ben and Kami may have been around a more religion focused group. However, we're only hearing one side of the story here, and there are a lot of details left out, so who's to say who's more at fault? I don't know. But maybe finding fault isn't the point anyway. We as humans hurt each other all the time, Christian or not. It's sad, but hopefully we can all show each other a little more grace and pray for those who have hurt us. Christ said, "love your enemies" (Matthew 5:43-47), so hopefully at some point in the future there can be some reconciliation between Ben and Kami and their old community, which would probably take some swallowing of pride on both sides. I pray it happens and hoping if/when it does they'll all be better for it. God bless
This was amazing! I watched their family hiking documentary so I was jazzed to see them on your channel. And to read that they were raised in the same religious upbringing as I was and have done a lot of the same deconstruction...my lucky day! Undoing religious sexual shame is a whole body healing experience, mental, physical, emotional, spiritual. It's beautiful to hear the stories of other's who are experiencing the same. Thank you for inviting them on and thank you for sharing!
So happy this resonated with you!
As someone who has healed from awful sexual trauma through not having sex until marriage and obtaining a healthy relationship with a church that is open and accepting, it was awesome to hear from another perspective! thanks for sharing!
We love knowing this. Thank you so much for sharing a bit of your story and the impact of this interview for you!
Loved talking to you guys about this topic. Thank you for sharing so openly and bravely over the years and allowing us to be a part of it. - Ben and Kami
So honored to be part of your story! We loved hearing it and being able to share it here ❤
Y'all. This made me wanna cry (because of how validating it was to hear). I've drawn so much wisdom and encouragement from your channel over the past several years, but never in my wildest dreams did I expect to hear a story in this space that so directly mirrors my own journey out of evangelical purity culture and into polyamory and ex-evangelical sex positive circles. I'm still personally invested in some progressive Christian circles, but as a polyamorous sex positive person, most of my evangelical family members and friends have now ostracized me. And I was explicitly pushed out of my last (ever) evangelical church for opposing leaders on their "one size fits all" ideas of gender roles, relationships, and sexuality. Thank you so much for speaking on this and sharing this story. It's incredibly relatable and encouraging to hear of others on a similar journey toward liberation.
Ok, so I'm just going to lay this out there..... I have absolutely no clue what "sex-positive" means, but if someone here could please educate me, I'd be greatly appreciative.
I just got really emotional thinking of how much you too have given me. I started watching your content around when I was 16 years old, I am 22 now and I truly think my life and they way I want to live it would be radically different in a looooot of ways if I hadn't found your channel, or better said if it hadn't found me. You have shown me how I want to love, how I want relationship to be in the center of my life and what tools I need to develop to truly bring that dream to life. I related a lot to what Ben said about how watching this channel gave him hope. From the bottom of my soul thank you Connor and Brittany for being such amazing roll models, and showing us how awesome relationship can be. Lots of love from Spain ❤️❤️
Aww Lucia thanks for this lovely message 🥰🥰
I'm a long time subscriber to both your channels. I'm a 26yr old mama with 3 kids that I plan on homeschooling and have always been in a poly relationship with their papa. This collab was really exciting for me as I've benefited and learned a lot from everyone's content. Thank you for sharing this and yes, your words inspire me even though I have had much of a different upbringing.
We love that you've been tuned in too both of our channels! Thank you for sharing the impact of this on you!
I really like when I see other couples come with you and talk about their life sexuality and what they have gone through.
Aw yay! Thanks for sharing. Us too!
I am absolutely LOVING these interviews with other couples 😍
Noted! 😊
Thank you for this video. I’ve been divorced for 4 years now and free from the manipulation of religion. I feel free to be me. It’s been a long journey in de-programming my beliefs for the past 30 years but I have so much gratitude for the awakening. Sending love and light to you guys!
You're amazing! 💖
I'm single and celibate. I used to miss having the option to have sex, but now it's a non issue. I'd rather save that part of myself for a committed life partner. Initially, that was a religious choice, but now it's more about the personal value I place on my time and energy. For those who are feeling like Christianity is putting a taboo on extra marital sex, and thus restricting your freedom, perhaps consider that abstinence gives you more freedom to develop yourself and accomplish your goals in life. Still, good to hear this perspective on how some churches can be unnecessarily oppressive and drive out good hearted people in the process.
This is so appreciated, I’m only part way through but it really resonated with me, a lot of the sexual trauma that comes from purity culture in the church. Thank you for illuminating this.
Thanks for watching!
This was an absolutely amazing interview. Amazing that Kami and Ben broke free from the confines they were experiencing in Christianity. It's utterly sad how many people (I relate) have been robbed of experiencing healthy Sexuality due to the shame and distortions of religion. Way to go Kami and Ben. 💜💜💜💜💜💜
ABSOLUTELY!!! I was raised Catholic and in 17 yrs of schooling there were only 4 that weren't at a Catholic school. Parents married 50 yrs. They will never know I we are bi, and kinky. They have an a idea we are poly because my mom got to nosy one day. She said I didn't share. So I over shared a bit. 😉
Nat, it's such a gift to receive this comment from you. We love getting a glimpse of a bit more of you too. We love you and this impact and appreciation so much!
@@conorandbrittany I have so much love for you both. Thank you for helping me change my views on so many things and open my mind 💕
Ben sharing that he felt like a monster really broke my heart.
Love this! As someone who was raised very religious, and left at a young age, I still struggle to work through so many of these things. Especially loosing loved ones and community. It is great to see the courage Kami and Ben have to question, and make different decisions! Thank you!
Sending you love and support
Listening to this, I see how my early religious training messed up my sexuality and feelings of self worth. Being told I was a sinner and a deviant for having sexual feelings brought decades of shame that I'm still unpacking. Thank goodness I didn't stay in the cult of Christianity past the age of 30. Since then I've started healing from the mental abuse, and finding out that I'm not the monster that religion tells me I am. Thank you for sharing your similar path. I can relate.
I need to share, people aren’t God. God is perfect, people aren’t. I am sad the people in your church were judgmental and not open to listening to what your thoughts and feelings were and maybe if there would have been more openness and understanding you all would still be living a christian life. I am a christian and while I do believe the bible is true and for my good to heed the information as important to follow, I also dislike how christians aren’t very in tune with emotions and I have often felt invalidated and unseen. In my case, I have experienced God in a beautiful way and I have chosen to surrender it to Him and let go of needing other people’s validation. It is a personal relationship with God, not with people. I think bringing it all to God helps the relationships with people to flourish. I have experienced tangible interactions with God and nothing in the world has ever satisfied me like Him, even if I do experience pain. He is good and if one believes this to be true, He has each person’s best interest in mind. Not believing this doesn’t make it untrue, it just makes life harder. I do hope
you all find your way back to God at some point.
If you look at the state of the world.... Kids born out of wedlock.... Not growing up with a father.... aborting children who were created out of lust. Single mothers having to bear the burden of raising children on one income. There is a reason why marriage is best before having children.
To express yourself sexually and having children are two very different things 🙆🏼♀️
have a beautiful day🙏
@@phinak8588 And what happens when sex leads to pregnancy.... and neither party is ready to have kids? Off to the abortion clinic they go. It's heartbreaking.
@@phinak8588 there is no such thing as expressing yourself "sexually". Sex is a carnal act necessary for reproduction, not pleasure. But through pride us human beings have given in to lust and desire and abandoned truth and order.
Would love Conor and Brittany to address this view point. It’s a very valid statement and quite sadly the reality of giving too much into the pleasures of the flesh.
Completely agree
Nice content thanks to all of you! I would have loved to hear Kami speaking a little more. Maybe next time you could use a tool to reach equal speech proportions :)
I'm 50/50 on this. I'm not against poly it's just I've seen so many friends end their relationships hating each other after trying an open relationship.
Thanks for sharing your feelings and experiences around what you've observed in polyamory and how we sense it could feel for you because of that.
I am so happy for this conversation! Both of your channels have been the most influential channels I have followed over the years. Excited to see you guys together! Hopefully there will be more in the future 🥰
thank you kami and ben so much !
my experiance with community and traditions within that community are very different from what you were sharing. but i feel so many of your insights and experiences with shame, ideals and change resonate very deeply. love to listen to your story of stepping into your own path.
We love this reflection. We love that you've had different experiences with the community that you've been connected with. We love the resonance we all share with stepping into our own paths! Thank you for sharing in this conversation here! Sending you love!!
I Have followed all of you for quite a while now and started to see the overlap on instagram a while back.. so glad to see you come together even if I’ve already heard a large part of this from Kami and Ben I still enjoyed the entire retelling and seeing you guys talk through it all together. I really have so much respect for Kami and Ben for being willing to open and change their mind about such big topics that people often hold on to and cause a lot of pain to others because of. They were brave and strong to go through that. I absolutely respect and admire their journey and the way they are parenting and living life. I’ve taken a lot from all four of you and thank you all for sharing.
We love this share so much. We love that you've been witness to us all coming together. We love your appreciation and admiration for their journey and how they choose to live life now. Thank you for this all!
I love, love, LOVE this! I have tried to be at peace with religion, but it was so terribly abusive and hurtful in my life, I feel angry at what it still does to people. Thank you for sharing your beautiful journey of recovery and resilience with the world! SO happy to hear this couple share!
This has been great to listen to. From my own experience with similar religious background. Something that has always stood out for me is the assertion that judgement is only God's right and yet as their experiences show that too often the most judgemental people are others within many of these religious communities and the damage it does. Considering the most important commandments are supposed to be about love, compassion and acceptance and yet the reality of being part of these groups is the absolute opposite. Much love to this fantastic powerful couple.
I love this reflection. Thank you for sharing this wisdom here. And we love this epic power couple too! Woohoo!
Oooph, your authenticity shines through and I love how honest and open each of you in this video are. You're very inspiring to my relationship and how I perceive and interact with love.
Isn't it interesting that the further you get away from religion the closer you can get to Jesus...coming from similar background, I'm happy for you guys.
❤️ Wow, I was raised in church (non denominational) too and the way that they told their journey felt so similar to what I experienced as well. Thankful for all 4 of you to share so authentically and boldly. Watching this has felt really connecting and eye opening.
I think this is one of those videos that i'll watch again. Such a good conversation, they are so insipiring
We love that.
Kami and Ben’s story was very relatable. I grew up in a catholic family and went to catholic school until I was 18. My family went to church every single week. I could def relate to the feelings of shame and guilt around sexuality and sexual expression. I still struggle with it. It was really inspiring to hear how Kami and Ben grew together to form a partnership that feels best for them :) I love it ❤️
They are so awesome!
Wow! Loved this video. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Conor made a great point, your situation is probably more extreme than most of us. But, definitely some thought processes and social cultures that still apply to a lot of us just in a different way. Love seeing the 4 of you living your best lives and thanks again for inspiring the rest of us!
Did this couple come to all these realizations at the exact same time? If not, who was the first to ask the questions and encourage the other to initiate the launch sequence? And did these changes ever challenge one or the other’s autonomy in any way? How do two separate individuals have parroting thoughts? How does a couple get to such a place and why do they want to?
ooh, these are great questions!! Thank you for sharing them here. @fightfortogether have you shared any videos or content that speaks to any of these that I could recommend Stacey check out/
@@conorandbrittany We have the 10 hour version of our story here: ruclips.net/p/PL34xHw8SldTZjcAaxt9ukTQRtVW-L_jG-
But the long story short is that we did not come to the same realization at the same time. We believe different things now and are ok with that but have also put a ton of time and energy into communication/therapy and that has helped us to appreciate what we have in common.
I was called jezebel from my Christian community and I had the similar experience of being ex communicated by a group of church people. It's disgusting what behaviors they allow in the name of God!
Also wish I lived in you alls community. Sounds so open and welcoming.
I truly love this interview. Thank you. I've been on a similar journey, and it's such a inspiring relief to know that other couples are unsubscribing to the unauthentic pressure s of what marriage can be for some, and creating a beautiful love story of your own .
I grew up evangelical as well. Hearing all of you talk about this, it's all so true and sometimes really painful to deal with. First of all, made me cry to hear ya'll say ya'll got a divorce! Because my partner and I did as well. And just as you said, we were more in love and even closer after the divorce. We got divorced because we no longer agreed with the legal, proof of marriage, binding, Christian standards that marriage is. It's so amazing to hear someone else that did the exact same thing we did. The part about sex and Christianity is a heavy burden to carry. What Brittany said about feeling those sexual urges at 14, that's COMPLETELY normal. But as a Christian you're taught that's evil and so wrong. Having to suppress those urges that are just naturally happening to your body is extremely difficult, especially at that age. When my partner and I got married as Christians it was SO HARD to not feel guilty to have sex with him. It's hard to be told your whole life that sex is wrong and sinful, and then you get married and your suppose to be able to just jump right in. It doesn't work that way. Thank you so much for sharing your deep truth!
Religion teaches you sex is wrong. I think it talks about extra and pre marital sex being wrong. I don’t think it has any rules about how you manage your sexuality. Please educate me if I’m misinformed not really a religious person myself just quoting from memory lol.
most relatable for me personally. This had me taking notes for future convos with me and the hubs and friends. Very thought provoking
Love it!
Much compassion for Ben.
Love Kami and Ben! So excited for this video!
Woohoo!
I just clicked but I am so excited to see these two couples that i have been watching both oyour journeys for so long and now y'all are interacting and im so excited! Love yall! (Juke aka Millie)
21:35 I really appreciate everything you shared, and this is the buttercream of your effort.
My partner was raised in the church, and he often shares your videos with me so that I can relate with him. I'm so happy that you did this interview, it helps him explain his sexuality (or shame of it) and his desire to be connected. I love being part of his self discovery and growth.
To Cammie and Ben, thank you for your interview. Sharing experiences in life can often feel scary; yet I find most interesting is that although our journey is drastically different there are so many common threads.
Such as, I was raised by swingers and taught to have orgasm because it was healthy and my birthright.
However, I was never taught how to love. When I came out as Polyamorous I too lost most of my family and friends because the lifestyle was too vulnerable.
I trust that those who are still in our lives choose to do so because they love us for who we are 💓
Honestly, Respectfully, and with Valor may we continue to grow.
Thank you so much for sharing Kami and Ben ❤️
Loved this chat! Made me grateful for my healthy balanced relationship with God. Thanks for sharing :-)
We love that. Thank you for watching!
Wow! My two favorite RUclips channels combined! This was such a joy to watch. 💞
😘
Aww yeaaaahhh! We are so happy to know that!!
26:22 "I'm gonna wake up everyday and kick my own ass so life doesn't hand it to me." Writing this everywhere in my house ♥️
Wonderful amazing share. Beautiful couples, full of support and openness. Your channel continues to help me create a new space to challenge what I have accepted in my life and relationships, and discover what *I* desire. Thank you. I hope fate let's me run into you someday
Great video! Thanks for sharing their story x
Thank you for watching!
Really enjoyed this. Thank you beautiful people sharing their story. ❤️
Heck yes!! Thank you!
@@conorandbrittany ❤️
I want to hear more from the woman...:) Funny to see how one in the couple speaks a lot more than the other. I would love more balance in this area, but, hey! It is what it is
What an incredible story. Thank you for sharing. 💜
Thank you for watching! They really do have an incredible story!!!
Love this video! Love this style of video!!!
Thanks for the love!!
Thank you so much! 🧡
You guys are great, I think I thought I was just weird but im seeing im not the only one who thinks like this haha My partner and I live separately and have done so for 5 years and it's great. it works for us, his there for me when I need it and visa versa. People think its strange but we love each other and we both also love our own space and freedom so it just works, im very grateful I found someone who can understand that and trusts me 🙂
Wtf two of my favorite channels crossing over I can’t believe it
💞
Wow, is that a Noam Chomsky tattoo? Love it.
This is a refreshingly well spoken group. I think authentic loving breeds growth, even abundance, which is interesting to hear/see from this perspective, esp as one who grew up in Catholicism and trouble. There's this black and white local way of "just have kids, get with someone and be monogamous right away before getting acquainted and staying put or just fuck people you don't really enjoy or share passion or anything with". None of which really resonates.
It's so good and encouraging to see team work and humans partnering through love and support as opposed to a bitterness- that challenges can lead to a more fulfilled growth, communication and cocollaberation in real life.
We love this beautiful reflection. And I love your curiosity about that tattoo!
Love you all! ❤❤
Did I miss how they became more open?? What is the link to their blog??
so did you guys changed at the same time? One didnt have to convince the other? I love this interview! thx
I identified with the couple that was told the so many sexual things were wrong like masterbation and other touching or seeing another naked body, etc. I was raised that my body was dirty and doing anything pleasurable to myself was wrong.
so many badasses in one room
This isn't extreme though this happens all the time!! It happened to our family.
This interview was so beautiful.
I was raised in a very similar type of church community. What a beautiful share! Beautiful humans! Yay for growing!!!!
Conor, your hair looks lovely.
I dunno what kind of Evangelic church they were going to but my church is supportive & full of love.. yes we do believe to save ourselves for marriage & I don’t think that’s a bad thing at all cause God made a man and a woman for each other not to have multiple partners .. I dunno if I understood correctly but I believe they just wanted to explore their sexualities more so they pulled back from the church!! honestly what’s the point of having multiple partners when u can have 1 who u know and truly love & can explore & learn everything together…
they made it seem like they escaped a cult but being an evangelic Christian is nothing like that it’s an amazing feeling to know that u have Jesus watching over u & leading u the right way & knowing that He’s always with u…. & to know that u have brothers and sisters in Christ who are there for u no matter what.. I didn’t appreciate how they made Christians look cause it’s not how we are!!!
I think the whole long they’re trying to emphasise is the religion shouldn’t ransom morals based on oppression of human nature.
Omg yes
I have RTS (Religious Trauma Syndrome).
This whole story resonates so deeply within me. Thank you for sharing!
I find so much connection listening to the deconstruction of others binary viewpoints. There is more than just black and white ways of being. There is so much colour and vibrancy if only you peek outside of the boundaries religion sets for you.
I feel since recognizing my anxiety and shame grew from my deconversion and the events surrounding that whole journey - I am better able to let go and relax into who I am in this moment.
There is more love and openness in my heart than when I was religious. There is more free flowing kindness and compassion. I feel more able to look on others without judgement and accept them as other humans - fully in the moment.
Thank you again for your channel and your openness with all of us. I find you fascinating honestly, lol.
Does Ben have a Noam Chomsky tattoo?
Literally my exact life.
Wow. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for watching.
So, you were extremely religious and now you're a poly amorous couple?
Ok, another one 👍🏼
This is an incredible story so far... Im barely 15 minutes into it listening. Basically this year for me I went through this spiritual awakening and stepped away from Christianity just like these guys did. I still have friends saying that I am a Christian when it doesn't really align for me as an identity anymore. I had so much guilt and shame around sex too. Purity culture (remaining sexually abstained until marriage is what christians call purity) is so damaging! Christianity taught me to completely disconnect from myself as I was taught that I was a sinner and that my heart was wicked. I was taught that I was NOTHING without Jesus... but fuck that. Fuck all of those toxic beliefs... I'll listen some more to this video but I had to push pause and say this. Thank you so much for sharing this video it's going to impact so many people xoxo
Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful reflection. Thank you for pausing to share this passion. I love the path you've been on. Sending so much love.
Its great to be free. Congratulations
sad that bible school was just a place to meet your spouse, that was the main reason why teens went.. or why kids got married so early... so they could have sex... thats what i grew up with, i totally know where they are coming from... i was a virgin till i was 30 and then i finally got free from the shameful belief system. im still recovering but at least i feel ok having sex now eventhough im single.
This is so hard to watch -- religion is so awful...what it does to families and relationships. I'm so sorry they had to go through that.
Hi Julia. Just wanted to respond real quick. Hope you don't mind. Just wanted to say there's a difference between those who follow a religion and those who follow Christ. Christ wasn't about a religion. He was about a relationship with Himself. I've been following Christ for 27 years and have found many people in the faith who are all about the religion aspect, but I've found waaaaay more who are more about a relationship with Christ and choosing to love others before judging them. Sounds like Ben and Kami may have been around a more religion focused group. However, we're only hearing one side of the story here, and there are a lot of details left out, so who's to say who's more at fault? I don't know. But maybe finding fault isn't the point anyway. We as humans hurt each other all the time, Christian or not. It's sad, but hopefully we can all show each other a little more grace and pray for those who have hurt us. Christ said, "love your enemies" (Matthew 5:43-47), so hopefully at some point in the future there can be some reconciliation between Ben and Kami and their old community, which would probably take some swallowing of pride on both sides. I pray it happens and hoping if/when it does they'll all be better for it. God bless