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Hi Matt, your videos focus all advise that the man is to pursue a woman, but I've made the terrible mistake of expressing myself to someone. It's the first time I've done n felt like that, he doesn't reciprocate but was very kind n polite. That's okay, it's been 6 months but it still isn't a long gone memory. I dunno how to handle this situation, he helped at first but I've still to put my face in front of him every day, as we work in the same place, he's adorable but I don't know how to keep up a proper social front. It's difficult to define a margin between expression n proper social function. I feel emotionally disconnected from everyone around me n some days I just close into myself. He told me never to restrain myself n I could tell him whatever I want n I did it when he had to go spend some month abroad, now he's back n I'm shut. Can you please advise me?
I'm married to the most amazing man! He's 33 and he opens doors, purposefully looks aside when an attractive woman walks by, has told me to pull myself together on occasion when I've acted disrespectful. Couldn't ask for a better man .
As someone who has been married for over 50 years I can say that these five moves will not only allow a woman to attract the right man and keep him enthralled for the long haul, but they will also a;;ow you to feel like the wonderful woman you were born to become. Being "classy" feels great and will help you be a better wife, parent, friend, and colleague.
Any and every woman will be as cool as a cucumber when she meets a man she sees, feels and knows is completely into her and committed to the relationship. There's nothing surprising, special or rare about that. That is not a quality of a classy woman. That is a state of mind of a loved, taken care and safe woman.
One thing I really admire about my parents is that when they did argue, they knew how to argue. Never once would they curse at each other or call each other names. And they certainly would get angry with each other at times. But there was always this understanding that, they loved one another and did not want to hurt each other. I thought all couples argued like that until I grew up and got out into the real world. But if I am ever fortunate enough to marry, that will be one of the things I’m looking for in a man.
1. Be an amplifier. 2. Own your confidence by owning your own worth. 3. Use beautiful language even when you're pissed. 4. Graciously receive. 5. Speak your truth with love.
1. Being jovial and welcoming 2. Being respectful when speaking even when angry 3. Being confident, grounded and feeling secure in any circumstances 4. Being graciously receptive 5. Speaking truthfully and with love/gentleness
0:35 bring energy to the situation 1:50 be secure in yourself and know your worth 4:42 maintain respect even when you're pissed 6:30 graciously receive 7:50 speak your truth, with love
When my man and I were just starting to get to know each other, he asked me if I get jealous easily. "How can I get jealous over someone in a relationship with me? No darling, I'm territorial."
Esther Perel talks about how seeing your partner from a distance, in their element, doing something they’re passionate about and possibly being admired by others can increase our attraction to our partner. I wonder if that was another part of what Irene was seeing when she was sitting in the back of the room at your seminars. She trusted you and was secure in herself so she was able to enjoy watching you doing something you were good at.
My parents taught me not to use foul language as a child. They also tried to teach us how to get along. My husband and I disagree sometimes, but once I state my opposing view to him, I become silent. I do not argue or escalate the situation. If someone will not see from your perspective, there is no point in throwing words at them. There are times when he is right, and I have to change my stand once I hear his point of view. Never be too proud that you can not admit to being wrong. Never give up your valid objections if they are not addressed. Never allow negative emotions to get in the way of a discussion(men can not hear negative emotions). My secret weapon is prayer. I try to maintain a spiritual stand and address all unanswered objections to the Almighty. Be specific and be respectful. It has worked so well for me. God answers prayer.
Men have consistently described me as classy. I dress classy, I carry myself/walk classy, and I look classy. Men have also consistently said they really like how classy I am.
Mat your lady didn't get jealous because the relationship was clear. Some get mad because they don't know thier value and go with men who are disrespectful or lacking passion
That's the problem. The guy and I were not together. So, when he kissed a woman in front of me, it shattered me. He actually wanted me to be disrespectful towards him. I hated that he wanted that. He was lonely, wanting to feel accepted, and felt rejected because I was not protesting. I also felt rejected because he wasn't asking me to be his girlfriend. Now, I'm with an amazing man that is moving obstacles to be with me.
I'm glad you didn't settle with someone who would do something manipulative just to guage your response. No one should have to put up with that, as that kind of behavior or mindset will only get worse with tune and us centered in self-serving attitude, whether it's from either party in a relationship or dating stage.
I don’t think I would be happily married without Mat’s teaching! Even though I was 53 and had lots of relationship experience there was SO MUCH I didn’t know. Been married 4 years now and am starting watching these again. How to be classy, what I always wanted to know. I love the examples and heart. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart!!!
This is all about self-love & confidence to be yourself. If the woman is glad to see the man it should be based on a genuine connection. Feel secure in yourself & be open to love.
Men always appreciate it when I keep the conversation interesting and joyful on dates. I listen actively, ask specific questions and be funny/ playful. But the most important thing is to give them answers to 'work with'. I teaser interesting stories or fun facts as well as hinting topics I might wanna talk about while I let them lead the conversation. My partner loved it and said he was never so excited to date someone!
Also: 1) Caring for friends not only talking, but taking action to be there for each other in sad and happy moments 2) Having a history of close, consistent, peaceful and joyful friendships 3) Thinking and talking about their family and expartner with love and respect, even if there is a no contact situation 4) Being in peace with their past and having focus on the here and now and the future 5) Taking care for animals and children when possible
Matt, you are my hero. You have taught me so much and I am in a relationship now that I have practice those things you’ve taught me to trust that I am worthy of love that I deserve it and I have been projecting that and that man has been receiving it when he tells me that I am pretty, that I look nice And he likes me. I tell him thank you he’s held the chair out for me to sit he paid for my meal. He’s been quite a gentleman which is so so so refreshing so thank you keep these videos coming because you’re really encouraging me and others as well. God bless you
I think using beautiful language but also being respectful even when you're upset because the words we say can hurt each other and that's just not the type of relationship I want and I think respect is so important in all relationships ❤
Speaking well. My man always compliments me on how I use language. I never thought about it much until he brought it up. At first I wasn't sure I believed him. It didn't seem that big of a deal. But I understand now what he means. I don't curse profusely as a rule, I look to speak kindly but also truthfully. I don't shoot my mouth off. I am cool when we disagree. He has told me on numerous occasions how much he likes it. It feels good that my mama taught me right.
Concerning receiving: I once had a first date with a guy on the Christmas market, and we met and settled on a high table, and we were getting to know each other. Somehow I was really enthusiastic about the mulled wine there and wanted one NOW, so I went to the stall and took two for us, telling him "the first turn is on me - cheers!". He later told me that he was very impressed by that and he thought it was pretty cool, that I did not feel entitled to be invited the whole time, and that he started to relax when I did that (he did earn good money and was not avaricious at all, but some women expected him to pay for everything). He found that first two cups a classy move by me :)
@@kendallstark4302 We have never been together, because we both immediately agreed about the fact that we didn't feel any 'spark' for each other, but we became good buddies after that date and spent a lot of time together, until he found the right one and got married :)
@@gabrielnadia1085 We were both honest enough to tell us immediately that we didn't feel attracted to each other at all. But we felt a very good connection, so yeah, why should any of us see the the other one as a potential relationship partner who you would not go to bed with? We reckognised each other as potential friends and THEREFORE acted like that. We were not desperate, you know :)
Mat, thank you for this refresher! I have effectively been or utilized these suggestions and I have observed that high value men appreciate or notice each of these aspects. It puts them at ease knowing that they are with a grounded, self-confident, truthful lady. My addition to this list is to always express appreciation for their effort"s but not in an excessive way. A simple " I appreciate that you chose this cool restaurant" or "Thank you for driving to my side of town tonight." Men like to know that we value their time and efforts.
I started watching your videos out of curiosity,to see things from a guy's perspective😅,and I realized some of the things you said, I were doing them already unconsciously by the way, I love the way you talk about your wife,it shows how much you admire her ❤🎉
I am older than probably most of the ladies in your audience - so for me giving him my undivided attention + focus comes natural. I'm not overly attached to my phone, so putting it away for the duration is no hardship for me. Focusing on him, actually seeing him, listening to him and building up on the conversation, redirecting to things I would like to know about him often without him noticing [to better assess suitability + compatibility for a potential relationship] and keeping the conversation witty and light [for the most part, although I have had some serious deep discussions on first dates as well] - seems to be well received by most men. Even by shy ones or those not used to openly expressing their thoughts. This tends to net - if nothing else - a good conversation with more good conversations following... If I really like a man and I see potential - I like to touch to get a better feel [literally] - of his essence. Light touches on his hand or arm only though - nothing too forward or fresh ;o)
I also am older, I am ,78 and met a man my age who was set in his ways somewhat but I have treased about that and he is lightening up I also give him backrubs and rub 9:58 his feet even if he is on his phone w a male friend who do not know I am there Going good so far
Be genuine, fun and open hearted. If he’s not worth it or not your type, you don’t have to see him again or just politely tell him you met someone else. But show up and bring your best self.
Yesss, I have always said that: for me, a strong indication of a healthy longterm relationship is taking notes of how conflicts/discord is resolved . If the person is upset and yet still keeps a RESPECTFUL atmosphere/environment, then there is hope. The min you raise your voice …. will be the last …✌🏿
Easy tip to practice using beautiful positive language - (use during rush hour traffic on the highway) - Example: Dear God, please help that person to be a safer & more courteous driver, Amen. At times, my teeth may be slightly gritted - but it really helps guard my heart/emotions to NOT get dragged down by the other person's bad behavior.
I love the idea of being clear on how to handle disagreements at the start of the relationship when all is in the honeymoon phase. It's important to adhere to what you both agree on. One thing I do is offer a loving space to discuss the issue etc. This means going into a different room, changing the aesthetics, or whatever. It helps remind both individuals of the agreement. If emotional maturity is developed in each person, this helps a lot!
I just found your channel and it has been a blessing!! I love the one about using beautiful language even when pissed. I need to remember that one! I am in a new relationship, my ex high school bf contacted me after 42 years, and we have been talking and plan to meet in October!! Your videos are truly helping me!
Maintaining eye contact- showing that you’re genuinely interested. Don’t be afraid to buy the man the drink! It’s ok to be generous & show kindness - too much expectation on these men to have to pay for everything! (Of course I will always allow him to buy first, he still wants to empower his masculinity)!
I find that guys light up when I give them hugs! They absolutely love it! I don’t know why they love it, but it is an expression of my appreciation, and I hope they feel appreciated when I give them hugs 🥰
Guys in modern society (in some places) are touch-starved, and it's super damaging to them. We all need to take more opportunities to hug everyone, especially guys, and encourage guys to hug each other too! It makes a huge difference to their mental health, and lots of guys hold onto the memories of hugs for a really long time because they get them so rarely. I feel so sad for them, and so fortunate to have lots of positive platonic touch in my life ... Dr. K (another channel on here) has fantastic insights into this topic for anyone who wants more info!
I don't know too many men nor think many women who do either, that don't love or want a woman to touch them. That's not really a rarity tbh. A straight man loves a woman's touch, that's pretty much why. If you're giving a hug , they're gonna be like' oh yeah ' from a woman. Hopefully you don't just go around hugging dudes just to be on them, but ijs, any would love it. Lol
First time viewer. Great content. I guess i would say that these are classy moves that all adults love in their lovers... and friends, brothers/sisters, parents(!), children(!), neighbors, teachers, colleagues, employers(!), employees(!), community members, leaders, and public personalities.
Once I realized how much it meant to people to get an enthusiastic and positive response to compliments and gifts, gracious receiving became essential. Why would I want to take away from someone's act of kindness? Excellent point, though, to differentiate between genuine kindness and manipulation. You gotta shut down those shenanigans. :)
As a bi woman i can say that if *any* human does these things it will be attractive to *any* human being. This isnt gendered, its universal. Men, if you do these things, women will be drawn to you too.
I'm going through my first real risky thing with a man who is 7 years older than me. And one of the things that kept me CLASSY was saying NO, when I don't want to do the same thing as him, I see he starts treating me in a different way. Another thing is my SMILE and I think it goes with the same thing as bringing energy to the situation; on our first date after some missunderstood, I told him to play TRUTH or DARE, and we both open up more and he told me how much he loved my SMILE. Big trick, he loves me every time I smile a lot, and we saw each other about 6 times I think and sometimes I don't smile a lot haha.
Great advices 👍👍👍thanks a lot. Yesterday I was thinking that I need to learn how to start a healthy relationship and in the evening bumped into Mat’s videos. Whole night was watching and I knew that I was doing mistakes..before I was thinking that I didn’t like the men who invites for a date. But recently I was at the date with a guy & felt that we fell in love each other. And I didn’t have this feeling so long & it was amazing but later because of I didn’t realize some of my pattern behaviors with men, he lost interest. And now I want to be ready to meet the right person to fell in love again 🥰🥰thank you ❤❤
Thank you! This video was really affirming because you put great language to concepts we sometimes take for granted. It helps me to gauge how well I’m doing in alignment with proven methods. I really appreciate it!
Really great advice, one of the best messages I've come across. My husband and I have been together since 1994. In the last 8 years though, our relationship has changed, not for the good, we're in counseling now. We are both working on fixing what went wrong in each of us and things are getting better. This video has helped to reinforce some things that still need work, enlighten to other things to do and encourage in the qualities that already exist but need some work to get back on track. THank you!!
Offers of help from others has always been difficult for me..I am capable of most household repairs, vehicle, etc. Now when a friend offers assistance I accept with a smile b/c they feel empowered and I am grateful.
Thanks Matt I love this!! I love how me and my man met and I love how our passions are sustaining it both for our work & each other! Lol. I love you!! You’re the best!!
One time, an ex and I were shopping at Trader Joe's. He told me that a cashier gave him an, "I want to do you, " stare. I said, "Lets go give her your number!"
You can do all of this but if you are doing it for the wrong man it won't work. Every man is different. The right man will value what you bring to the table as long as you are being your authentic self. But yes a rude and disrespectful attitude will ruin something good... Study your man or the man you are into and see what he likes and doesn't like.
I know I need to work on a few of those. Thank you for sharing. I'm now going to find on Amazon if you have a book I can read and apply what I learn so I can be ready for the time if someone comes my way. Thank you. And I can testify that all these are legit.
Tonight i was with my 15 yr old at a tennis match and while we were watching the match my daughter leans over to the young woman next to her and says” hey i just wanted you to know that i think you are very pretty” and she was sincere…. The teenage boys like the genuine reaching out to bring a stranger a compliment…esp when teen girls can be comparing and competitive .
Men crave respect more than touch. A woman communicates the value of a man to her through the language and behaviors of respect. Women seek safety in relationship, Men seek honor…it is what assures them of their value to you. A a rule ..A woman should never date a man she can not respect. Because it will make you both miserable in the long run.
The only reason I would be rattled is if you overly engaged with the flirting. Other than that, I'm good. When I meet a man 2 questions that I always ask is, "What's your love language and what inspires you. I think it's a simple way to get to know someone, pinpoint if you'll be compatible, and dive into a conversation without feeling like you're on your guard. Sometimes I'll ask the man out and I pay the whole date. I was raised when you ask you pay. If he asks I'll offer the tip.
What women secretly love in my humble opinion: -The man they like takes the leadership role in setting tempo and good tone in the getting to know phase of the relationship. Shows the masculine energy and gives a sense of security. -The man having values and being able to say No. Shows leadership skills, discipline and ability to provide and raise kids. -The man being interested in their honest opinion. It makes the woman feel seen. -The man sharing his struggles and imperfections at some point (not in a helpless sense). Makes it feel like a partnership and values the help of the women. -The man being able to honestly apologize and at least trying to change himself. Shows character and drive to grow personally and relationally. There might be more, but that's from me for now. 👍
I recently cut my hair short and apparently I look like a lesbians dream (not my intention ). So I've been experiencing what it's like to be tracked by women...beautiful...hopeful...women. Often, it's a beaming smile. Sometimes, it's a shy smile that comes after I've been oblivious for a while and they've almost had to corner me to get my attention. Once, I had a women in a cosmetics store massage each of my hands with lotion till I thought I'd melt. I've been celibate for so long that I'm really questioning my orientation at this point. A direct smile and a small kindness feels so much sweeter than the often predatory gaze I used to attract from men. So...speaking from a unique perspective, I would say an act of consideration and acknowledgement feels really good.
@@TeutonicTribe take what? The fact she shared that she wants kindness instead of being preyed upon? Might want to talk to someone if you want to feel hunted... but on a serious note, homophobic comments are unnecessary. It's time you join this century.
Thank you for sharing. You must be a beautiful person in/ out that you even attract women. I tend to be attracted to kind guys but they usually are intimidated by me, or expect me to be this ray of sunshine 24/7/365. I wish more people would be willing to be and accept that people can be multi-faceted. I hope you find your person if you're actively seeking❤
'use beautiful language, even when you're pissed' - wow❤ Apart from the normal deal breakers for me, I have told every partner I've ever been with that using foul language during a fight is a deal breaker, and in particular, name calling. many have found this ironic because I swear like a sailor every day lol. but in the heat of the moment, the last thing you need to do is add fuel to the fire by introducing profanity in a volatile situation. it is completely disrespectful. what the situation requires is calm, control, and resolution. in fact, when I'm angry, my language gets razor sharp, articulate, and words get longer and longer. there is no profanity. that's how you know. I'm at DEFCON 1. 😂
I've realised you've been with me all these years. We'd agreed to clear communication in this relationship, and I know you're the type of man who if he doesn't want to be with me, you will be upfront to tell me before you go out to go screw up with any other woman; and if you don't want to be with me, I will also leave this relationship and go find another man with whom I can build a brand new happy and amazing relatiomship...
All I do on dates or when chatting with a guy is be humourous and I get compliments that you are pretty and funny, let's go on a date soon. So most men I have seen, love women who are funny
I do the grounding and such if my man gets surranded by single women cause I knowv he' s mine and he kniws that I am his. I do use beautiful language when I am pissed. I do gracely accept the gifts and say thank you. I love to speak the truth with love. I have been a amplifier too
I try to make a man laugh by telling jokes and make the date fun. When the man and I are playing a game of pool, I always compliment him saying, wow that was impressive. ❤
In general a woman can show herself classy to the one that likes her ,it doesn't matter how classy you are if the are ignoring you or shows mixed signals ,all your classiness doesn't matter to him at all....
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Hi Matt, your videos focus all advise that the man is to pursue a woman, but I've made the terrible mistake of expressing myself to someone. It's the first time I've done n felt like that, he doesn't reciprocate but was very kind n polite. That's okay, it's been 6 months but it still isn't a long gone memory. I dunno how to handle this situation, he helped at first but I've still to put my face in front of him every day, as we work in the same place, he's adorable but I don't know how to keep up a proper social front. It's difficult to define a margin between expression n proper social function. I feel emotionally disconnected from everyone around me n some days I just close into myself. He told me never to restrain myself n I could tell him whatever I want n I did it when he had to go spend some month abroad, now he's back n I'm shut. Can you please advise me?
i love to watch your coaching
im filipino watching from hongkong
Love your videos!
I'm married to the most amazing man! He's 33 and he opens doors, purposefully looks aside when an attractive woman walks by, has told me to pull myself together on occasion when I've acted disrespectful. Couldn't ask for a better man .
So glad you got a good one!
As someone who has been married for over 50 years I can say that these five moves will not only allow a woman to attract the right man and keep him enthralled for the long haul, but they will also a;;ow you to feel like the wonderful woman you were born to become. Being "classy" feels great and will help you be a better wife, parent, friend, and colleague.
💯
Any and every woman will be as cool as a cucumber when she meets a man she sees, feels and knows is completely into her and committed to the relationship. There's nothing surprising, special or rare about that. That is not a quality of a classy woman. That is a state of mind of a loved, taken care and safe woman.
@@violetinispaltas7274 yes a woman who can walk in her femininity has the power.
@@violetinispaltas7274 I don’t see this as disagreement.
100%
One thing I really admire about my parents is that when they did argue, they knew how to argue. Never once would they curse at each other or call each other names. And they certainly would get angry with each other at times. But there was always this understanding that, they loved one another and did not want to hurt each other. I thought all couples argued like that until I grew up and got out into the real world. But if I am ever fortunate enough to marry, that will be one of the things I’m looking for in a man.
oh gosh my parents were the total opposite but so happy to hear that. It motivates me to do better too!
1. Be an amplifier.
2. Own your confidence by owning your own worth.
3. Use beautiful language even when you're pissed.
4. Graciously receive.
5. Speak your truth with love.
1. Being jovial and welcoming
2. Being respectful when speaking even when angry
3. Being confident, grounded and feeling secure in any circumstances
4. Being graciously receptive
5. Speaking truthfully and with love/gentleness
ThankYou
0:35 bring energy to the situation
1:50 be secure in yourself and know your worth
4:42 maintain respect even when you're pissed
6:30 graciously receive
7:50 speak your truth, with love
Thank you.
Thank you 🙏
When my man and I were just starting to get to know each other, he asked me if I get jealous easily.
"How can I get jealous over someone in a relationship with me? No darling, I'm territorial."
Esther Perel talks about how seeing your partner from a distance, in their element, doing something they’re passionate about and possibly being admired by others can increase our attraction to our partner. I wonder if that was another part of what Irene was seeing when she was sitting in the back of the room at your seminars. She trusted you and was secure in herself so she was able to enjoy watching you doing something you were good at.
The use of genuine 'affirming' language: "You're handsome.", "You're my hero.", "That's brilliant!", "I appreciate you."
The secret of life is appreciation
My parents taught me not to use foul language as a child. They also tried to teach us how to get along. My husband and I disagree sometimes, but once I state my opposing view to him, I become silent. I do not argue or escalate the situation. If someone will not see from your perspective, there is no point in throwing words at them. There are times when he is right, and I have to change my stand once I hear his point of view.
Never be too proud that you can not admit to being wrong.
Never give up your valid objections if they are not addressed.
Never allow negative emotions to get in the way of a discussion(men can not hear negative emotions).
My secret weapon is prayer. I try to maintain a spiritual stand and address all unanswered objections to the Almighty. Be specific and be respectful. It has worked so well for me. God answers prayer.
Yes 🙌 amen! Exactly
Powerful sharing
I really needed your input here. Thanks for sharing
Power of prayers keeps you humble , sensible and open minded to the other persons feelings.
🕊
Men have consistently described me as classy. I dress classy, I carry myself/walk classy, and I look classy. Men have also consistently said they really like how classy I am.
Mat your lady didn't get jealous because the relationship was clear. Some get mad because they don't know thier value and go with men who are disrespectful or lacking passion
Exactly !
That's the problem. The guy and I were not together. So, when he kissed a woman in front of me, it shattered me. He actually wanted me to be disrespectful towards him. I hated that he wanted that. He was lonely, wanting to feel accepted, and felt rejected because I was not protesting. I also felt rejected because he wasn't asking me to be his girlfriend. Now, I'm with an amazing man that is moving obstacles to be with me.
I'm glad you didn't settle with someone who would do something manipulative just to guage your response. No one should have to put up with that, as that kind of behavior or mindset will only get worse with tune and us centered in self-serving attitude, whether it's from either party in a relationship or dating stage.
I'm happy you didn't settle for a manipulative insecure person and that you found someone who's mature and secure ❤
I don’t think I would be happily married without Mat’s teaching! Even though I was 53 and had lots of relationship
experience there was SO MUCH I didn’t know. Been married 4 years now and am starting watching these again. How to be classy, what I always wanted to know. I love the examples and heart. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart!!!
Irene's comments/examples are always a huge benefit.
My Ex his an energy drain, his always wanted to be around me, when he leaves me, I am so exhausted.I do know his regret for letting me go.
This is all about self-love & confidence to be yourself. If the woman is glad to see the man it should be based on a genuine connection. Feel secure in yourself & be open to love.
Men always appreciate it when I keep the conversation interesting and joyful on dates. I listen actively, ask specific questions and be funny/ playful. But the most important thing is to give them answers to 'work with'. I teaser interesting stories or fun facts as well as hinting topics I might wanna talk about while I let them lead the conversation. My partner loved it and said he was never so excited to date someone!
Interesting conversations are always appreciated and keeps people hooked ❤
Would u mind sharing some types of topics u guys talk about?
@@LifelineInc-xk1uw yes yes yes. Tryna hear more :) a truly skilled conversationalist is soooo rare
I, too, would love to hear some of your conversation topics and questions, please.
Speak your truth and do it with kindness 💖 and remember you don't always have to be right😍
Receiving, honours the giver! Beautifully said❤
Indeed! ❤
You've got such a charming grin that indeed God gives you each chance to smile.
Also:
1) Caring for friends not only talking, but taking action to be there for each other in sad and happy moments
2) Having a history of close, consistent, peaceful and joyful friendships
3) Thinking and talking about their family and expartner with love and respect, even if there is a no contact situation
4) Being in peace with their past and having focus on the here and now and the future
5) Taking care for animals and children when possible
Matt, you are my hero. You have taught me so much and I am in a relationship now that I have practice those things you’ve taught me to trust that I am worthy of love that I deserve it and I have been projecting that and that man has been receiving it when he tells me that I am pretty, that I look nice And he likes me. I tell him thank you he’s held the chair out for me to sit he paid for my meal. He’s been quite a gentleman which is so so so refreshing so thank you keep these videos coming because you’re really encouraging me and others as well. God bless you
I honestly enjoy how you logically explain these values.. Keep doing what you do
I think using beautiful language but also being respectful even when you're upset because the words we say can hurt each other and that's just not the type of relationship I want and I think respect is so important in all relationships ❤
Why wouldn't you want something like that?
You've got such a charming grin that indeed God gives you each chance to smile.
Speaking well. My man always compliments me on how I use language. I never thought about it much until he brought it up. At first I wasn't sure I believed him. It didn't seem that big of a deal. But I understand now what he means. I don't curse profusely as a rule, I look to speak kindly but also truthfully. I don't shoot my mouth off. I am cool when we disagree. He has told me on numerous occasions how much he likes it. It feels good that my mama taught me right.
Concerning receiving: I once had a first date with a guy on the Christmas market, and we met and settled on a high table, and we were getting to know each other. Somehow I was really enthusiastic about the mulled wine there and wanted one NOW, so I went to the stall and took two for us, telling him "the first turn is on me - cheers!". He later told me that he was very impressed by that and he thought it was pretty cool, that I did not feel entitled to be invited the whole time, and that he started to relax when I did that (he did earn good money and was not avaricious at all, but some women expected him to pay for everything). He found that first two cups a classy move by me :)
Are you two still together?
@@kendallstark4302 We have never been together, because we both immediately agreed about the fact that we didn't feel any 'spark' for each other, but we became good buddies after that date and spent a lot of time together, until he found the right one and got married :)
@@kendallstark4302 they could never because she instantly took the form of a friend to him rather than a "prey"😅
@@gabrielnadia1085 We were both honest enough to tell us immediately that we didn't feel attracted to each other at all. But we felt a very good connection, so yeah, why should any of us see the the other one as a potential relationship partner who you would not go to bed with? We reckognised each other as potential friends and THEREFORE acted like that. We were not desperate, you know :)
You're more nervous when you are actually attracted to someone and when you instantly see them as a "friend" totally different.
Mat, thank you for this refresher! I have effectively been or utilized these suggestions and I have observed that high value men appreciate or notice each of these aspects. It puts them at ease knowing that they are with a grounded, self-confident, truthful lady.
My addition to this list is to always express appreciation for their effort"s but not in an excessive way. A simple " I appreciate that you chose this cool restaurant" or "Thank you for driving to my side of town tonight." Men like to know that we value their time and efforts.
I started watching your videos out of curiosity,to see things from a guy's perspective😅,and I realized some of the things you said, I were doing them already unconsciously
by the way, I love the way you talk about your wife,it shows how much you admire her ❤🎉
I am older than probably most of the ladies in your audience - so for me giving him my undivided attention + focus comes natural. I'm not overly attached to my phone, so putting it away for the duration is no hardship for me. Focusing on him, actually seeing him, listening to him and building up on the conversation, redirecting to things I would like to know about him often without him noticing [to better assess suitability + compatibility for a potential relationship] and keeping the conversation witty and light [for the most part, although I have had some serious deep discussions on first dates as well] - seems to be well received by most men. Even by shy ones or those not used to openly expressing their thoughts. This tends to net - if nothing else - a good conversation with more good conversations following... If I really like a man and I see potential - I like to touch to get a better feel [literally] - of his essence. Light touches on his hand or arm only though - nothing too forward or fresh ;o)
I also am older, I am ,78 and met a man my age who was set in his ways somewhat but I have treased about that and he is lightening up
I also give him backrubs and rub 9:58 his feet even if he is on his phone w a male friend who do not know I am there
Going good so far
Excellent advice, all of it!
Be genuine, fun and open hearted. If he’s not worth it or not your type, you don’t have to see him again or just politely tell him you met someone else. But show up and bring your best self.
Yesss, I have always said that: for me, a strong indication of a healthy longterm relationship is taking notes of how conflicts/discord is resolved . If the person is upset and yet still keeps a RESPECTFUL atmosphere/environment, then there is hope. The min you raise your voice …. will be the last …✌🏿
Easy tip to practice using beautiful positive language - (use during rush hour traffic on the highway) - Example: Dear God, please help that person to be a safer & more courteous driver, Amen.
At times, my teeth may be slightly gritted - but it really helps guard my heart/emotions to NOT get dragged down by the other person's bad behavior.
That's a really good point! 🎉
Been jovial , able to turn awkward situations to jokes or laughs.
Been able to hold engaging communication
Can decode each others body language
I love the idea of being clear on how to handle disagreements at the start of the relationship when all is in the honeymoon phase. It's important to adhere to what you both agree on. One thing I do is offer a loving space to discuss the issue etc. This means going into a different room, changing the aesthetics, or whatever. It helps remind both individuals of the agreement. If emotional maturity is developed in each person, this helps a lot!
You've got such a charming grin that indeed God gives you each chance to smile.
I just found your channel and it has been a blessing!! I love the one about using beautiful language even when pissed. I need to remember that one! I am in a new relationship, my ex high school bf contacted me after 42 years, and we have been talking and plan to meet in October!! Your videos are truly helping me!
Hope that went well and you're together now :)
@@beatrizbecker3728 thank you! It went very very well and we’re meeting again next month.
Maintaining eye contact- showing that you’re genuinely interested. Don’t be afraid to buy the man the drink! It’s ok to be generous & show kindness - too much expectation on these men to have to pay for everything! (Of course I will always allow him to buy first, he still wants to empower his masculinity)!
You've got such a charming grin that indeed God gives you each chance to smile.
I find that guys light up when I give them hugs! They absolutely love it! I don’t know why they love it, but it is an expression of my appreciation, and I hope they feel appreciated when I give them hugs 🥰
Guys in modern society (in some places) are touch-starved, and it's super damaging to them. We all need to take more opportunities to hug everyone, especially guys, and encourage guys to hug each other too! It makes a huge difference to their mental health, and lots of guys hold onto the memories of hugs for a really long time because they get them so rarely. I feel so sad for them, and so fortunate to have lots of positive platonic touch in my life ... Dr. K (another channel on here) has fantastic insights into this topic for anyone who wants more info!
I don't know too many men nor think many women who do either, that don't love or want a woman to touch them. That's not really a rarity tbh. A straight man loves a woman's touch, that's pretty much why. If you're giving a hug , they're gonna be like' oh yeah ' from a woman. Hopefully you don't just go around hugging dudes just to be on them, but ijs, any would love it. Lol
@@tinaj9621 sadly high profile hugs can lead to multi million suits... 😥
First time viewer. Great content. I guess i would say that these are classy moves that all adults love in their lovers... and friends, brothers/sisters, parents(!), children(!), neighbors, teachers, colleagues, employers(!), employees(!), community members, leaders, and public personalities.
Once I realized how much it meant to people to get an enthusiastic and positive response to compliments and gifts, gracious receiving became essential. Why would I want to take away from someone's act of kindness? Excellent point, though, to differentiate between genuine kindness and manipulation. You gotta shut down those shenanigans. :)
As a bi woman i can say that if *any* human does these things it will be attractive to *any* human being. This isnt gendered, its universal. Men, if you do these things, women will be drawn to you too.
Yes!!
Well said.
I am 72 & truly enjoy listening and believe or not, learning.
I'm going through my first real risky thing with a man who is 7 years older than me. And one of the things that kept me CLASSY was saying NO, when I don't want to do the same thing as him, I see he starts treating me in a different way. Another thing is my SMILE and I think it goes with the same thing as bringing energy to the situation; on our first date after some missunderstood, I told him to play TRUTH or DARE, and we both open up more and he told me how much he loved my SMILE.
Big trick, he loves me every time I smile a lot, and we saw each other about 6 times I think and sometimes I don't smile a lot haha.
I really like the fact that you give examples. You don’t just say “ be classy”!!!
wow ive actually been doing these things since being with my husband but know i understand what they mean to him. Awesome😊
Great advices 👍👍👍thanks a lot. Yesterday I was thinking that I need to learn how to start a healthy relationship and in the evening bumped into Mat’s videos. Whole night was watching and I knew that I was doing mistakes..before I was thinking that I didn’t like the men who invites for a date. But recently I was at the date with a guy & felt that we fell in love each other. And I didn’t have this feeling so long & it was amazing but later because of I didn’t realize some of my pattern behaviors with men, he lost interest. And now I want to be ready to meet the right person to fell in love again 🥰🥰thank you ❤❤
Thank you! This video was really affirming because you put great language to concepts we sometimes take for granted. It helps me to gauge how well I’m doing in alignment with proven methods. I really appreciate it!
Unexpected Cuddles wrapping you're arms around someone when they've got their back to you.🤗
Really great advice, one of the best messages I've come across. My husband and I have been together since 1994. In the last 8 years though, our relationship has changed, not for the good, we're in counseling now. We are both working on fixing what went wrong in each of us and things are getting better. This video has helped to reinforce some things that still need work, enlighten to other things to do and encourage in the qualities that already exist but need some work to get back on track. THank you!!
All wonderful reminders and so beautifully spoken. Thank you for another wonderful video! 💖
I realized that I’m an amplifier. Thanks for bringing this up. Have a good day.
You've got such a charming grin that indeed God gives you each chance to smile.
Offers of help from others has always been difficult for me..I am capable of most household repairs, vehicle, etc. Now when a friend offers assistance I accept with a smile b/c they feel empowered and I am grateful.
I decided not to date and work on having engaging conversations. Excellent points. Thank you.
Great advice for a way of being! I'm a better person from what you both shared! Just great etiquette
Smile, be cheerful at appropriate times
Wow. WOW. Wow. I never saw it like this - RECEIVING HONOURS THE GIVER!!!! 💥💥💥
Thanks Matt I love this!! I love how me and my man met and I love how our passions are sustaining it both for our work & each other! Lol. I love you!! You’re the best!!
One time, an ex and I were shopping at Trader Joe's. He told me that a cashier gave him an, "I want to do you, " stare. I said, "Lets go give her your number!"
Great response! I bet he was surprised when you said it!
Lmao. Good for you!
And that’s why he’s your ex!! 😂 good response!
I'd say some identical thing. No wonder he's your ex!!!😂
You've got such a charming grin that indeed God gives you each chance to smile.
I love when you give actual words to say. Your advice is always great but I need an actual script to execute it 😂 Thank you!
Share a lot of laughter and banter
Hi Matt thank you so much for your dating advice. It's really helped me boost my confidence and my relationship is going so well. Nita from Zambia
Excellent! I've enjoyed your videos since I discovered your channel. Thank you! 🙏💫
You can do all of this but if you are doing it for the wrong man it won't work. Every man is different. The right man will value what you bring to the table as long as you are being your authentic self. But yes a rude and disrespectful attitude will ruin something good... Study your man or the man you are into and see what he likes and doesn't like.
I know I need to work on a few of those. Thank you for sharing. I'm now going to find on Amazon if you have a book I can read and apply what I learn so I can be ready for the time if someone comes my way. Thank you. And I can testify that all these are legit.
I was looking at this video (not particularly with regard to relationships) and realised the significance for a teacher in terms of group dynamics
Tonight i was with my 15 yr old at a tennis match and while we were watching the match my daughter leans over to the young woman next to her and says” hey i just wanted you to know that i think you are very pretty” and she was sincere…. The teenage boys like the genuine reaching out to bring a stranger a compliment…esp when teen girls can be comparing and competitive .
Men crave respect more than touch. A woman communicates the value of a man to her through the language and behaviors of respect. Women seek safety in relationship, Men seek honor…it is what assures them of their value to you.
A a rule ..A woman should never date a man she can not respect. Because it will make you both miserable in the long run.
Love the way you explained. Thank you 😊
Mat, great video again and advices at right time. Really appreciated. You are doing great job:) Thank you.
Thanks a lot.This comes as a boost and guide ❤
Yay! Amazing insights.
The only reason I would be rattled is if you overly engaged with the flirting. Other than that, I'm good.
When I meet a man 2 questions that I always ask is, "What's your love language and what inspires you. I think it's a simple way to get to know someone, pinpoint if you'll be compatible, and dive into a conversation without feeling like you're on your guard.
Sometimes I'll ask the man out and I pay the whole date. I was raised when you ask you pay. If he asks I'll offer the tip.
What women secretly love in my humble opinion:
-The man they like takes the leadership role in setting tempo and good tone in the getting to know phase of the relationship. Shows the masculine energy and gives a sense of security.
-The man having values and being able to say No. Shows leadership skills, discipline and ability to provide and raise kids.
-The man being interested in their honest opinion. It makes the woman feel seen.
-The man sharing his struggles and imperfections at some point (not in a helpless sense). Makes it feel like a partnership and values the help of the women.
-The man being able to honestly apologize and at least trying to change himself. Shows character and drive to grow personally and relationally.
There might be more, but that's from me for now. 👍
I listen to him. Really listen. He loves it.
You've got such a charming grin that indeed God gives you each chance to smile.
Speaking my truth always!
Love your energy brother
I love your advice Mat! I only hope this can help me in my relationship! One year, and I’m hoping I can use this to make myself irresistible to him
Thank you mat so so much I never looked at it like that way wow now I will apply what I just learned again thank you❤😊
I'm the classy woman! Nice to know. Love always Kelli
Truly good advice folks.👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾💯
You've got such a charming grin that indeed God gives you each chance to smile.
All these thingss come down to only one thing: self worthyness
I recently cut my hair short and apparently I look like a lesbians dream (not my intention ). So I've been experiencing what it's like to be tracked by women...beautiful...hopeful...women. Often, it's a beaming smile. Sometimes, it's a shy smile that comes after I've been oblivious for a while and they've almost had to corner me to get my attention. Once, I had a women in a cosmetics store massage each of my hands with lotion till I thought I'd melt. I've been celibate for so long that I'm really questioning my orientation at this point. A direct smile and a small kindness feels so much sweeter than the often predatory gaze I used to attract from men. So...speaking from a unique perspective, I would say an act of consideration and acknowledgement feels really good.
Sorry that’s weird 🤔
Might want to take all that somewhere else, yeah 🤢
@@Sunnydreamer1470 why is it weird that she's sharing that she wants tenderness?
@@TeutonicTribe take what? The fact she shared that she wants kindness instead of being preyed upon? Might want to talk to someone if you want to feel hunted... but on a serious note, homophobic comments are unnecessary. It's time you join this century.
Thank you for sharing. You must be a beautiful person in/ out that you even attract women. I tend to be attracted to kind guys but they usually are intimidated by me, or expect me to be this ray of sunshine 24/7/365. I wish more people would be willing to be and accept that people can be multi-faceted. I hope you find your person if you're actively seeking❤
This was soooo good!!
Im afraid to say that I'm single ❤ i also think you're very handsome and you're videos on here do help people out😊
'use beautiful language, even when you're pissed' - wow❤
Apart from the normal deal breakers for me, I have told every partner I've ever been with that using foul language during a fight is a deal breaker, and in particular, name calling. many have found this ironic because I swear like a sailor every day lol. but in the heat of the moment, the last thing you need to do is add fuel to the fire by introducing profanity in a volatile situation. it is completely disrespectful. what the situation requires is calm, control, and resolution. in fact, when I'm angry, my language gets razor sharp, articulate, and words get longer and longer. there is no profanity. that's how you know. I'm at DEFCON 1. 😂
Very sound advice!
You've got such a charming grin that indeed God gives you each chance to smile.
I've realised you've been with me all these years. We'd agreed to clear communication in this relationship, and I know you're the type of man who if he doesn't want to be with me, you will be upfront to tell me before you go out to go screw up with any other woman; and if you don't want to be with me, I will also leave this relationship and go find another man with whom I can build a brand new happy and amazing relatiomship...
Classy is so important ~ !
All I do on dates or when chatting with a guy is be humourous and I get compliments that you are pretty and funny, let's go on a date soon.
So most men I have seen, love women who are funny
I do the grounding and such if my man gets surranded by single women cause I knowv he' s mine and he kniws that I am his. I do use beautiful language when I am pissed. I do gracely accept the gifts and say thank you. I love to speak the truth with love. I have been a amplifier too
Thank you for your video. You inspire me.
I try to make a man laugh by telling jokes and make the date fun. When the man and I are playing a game of pool, I always compliment him saying, wow that was impressive. ❤
Hello Mat, I always enjoy watching your informative relationship videos. 😊
I really fell in love with 5 men, but i couldn t speak!i didn t know what to say..They treated me great!
Let's be honest. This is called having grace. It's a good life when we women embrace how graceful we can be.
In general a woman can show herself classy to the one that likes her ,it doesn't matter how classy you are if the are ignoring you or shows mixed signals ,all your classiness doesn't matter to him at all....
I stay in the 100% present moment.
This is good, a bit tired now. But must listen to this ASAP. x
So much thnkz to ur advice sir.... 💕
Love this it’s awesome
Love this video!!!
You've got such a charming grin that indeed God gives you each chance to smile.