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I've been out with both men and women who do not look at the waiter/waitress while ordering or asking questions and it always bothers me. I think looking at someone acknowledges them and is therefore respectful.
Rejection is Protection. I've had many one date wonders recently because the guys I went out were having issues in their life (Covid has made dating difficult) and they don't do any inner work to heal wounds and trauma. One guy laughed at my self help work. He texted me the next day to say he felt no romantic connection - I told him I felt the same and then he got mad lol. I dodged a bullet with a narcissist. Thank God.
The "Rejection is protection" is so powerful I can't tell you how many times it's helped me ground back into my truth and elevate myself out of a hole. SO POWERFUL. And 100 % you dodged a bullet. If the guy ever finds the inner work he will look back at his laughing at your book and cringe! Sending happy vibes ❤
One question people ask on a first date that is a big conversation killer is “so, why are you single?”. It’s the most odd question … are you suggesting being single is a bad thing? Or, that there must be some reason that I’m single that I’m supposed to explain to you? Is there really an answer to that question since we are all single for a variety of reasons! It’s personal and invasive. It’s so common though!
Had a guy chat me up and I wasnt interested and told him I was happily single and he wouldnt believe me. Im not actively looking at the minute. Genuinely happy with my life as it is right now. That might change in future
@16bronzebow04you can tell him, I’m single because I have standards and not everyone can measure up to my standards. I value myself and I’m not going to accept less than what I deserve. Or say something similar. Usually men mull this over and realize that’s a legit reason to be single
So True, Mat. My first date with my future husband Rick was lunch at a restaurant I said I liked. He was chivalrous - opening doors, etc - which I love. After we were seated, the 1st thing Rick did was ask our server for his name. Rick spoke to our server by name for the duration of our meal. I Loved that he treated that person like a person. It demonstrated respect, humility & gratitude. My husband did that every time we ate out for the 36 yrs we were married - until he passed away.
It's a big turnoff when the date starts asking about sex: when was the last time, what position do you like, etc. Dude, I don't know you well enough yet!
People kept asking me what was wrong with me because I wasn't going on second dates. Ask for sex on a first date and I know there us no respect for me and it's over before it started. Bye.
@@gaillewis5472 I’m 78 and I went on 3 dates with a man who was so kind and opened doors walked on the outside of the sidewalk with me, took my hand when crossing streets, bought a hot coffee on a chilly morning at the beach. BUT THE 2nd DATE WAS DIFFERENT. He did all the gentleman courtesies but he began to ask personal questions like you mentioned or make sexual innuendos 🥴😱! I told him those questions and actions were intrusive and disrespectful so early in our dating. He reined it in some but I could tell he was still in that mode of wanting to pursue that line of talk. He called me early the next day n asked if I go for breakfast. He apologized for his actions the day before. I was reluctant but accepted. All hell broke loose when we had made it through a nice breakfast and he was taking me home. He wanted me to spend the rest of the day with him. I had to refuse because I had arranged to meet with family members later for dinner. He was annoyed then, began to ask his vulgar suggestive questions again. I just refused to give him answers and I let him go quiet a bit. I said thanks for breakfast and made some small talk. Then I asked him to stop at the next 7/11 store I wanted to purchase something. He did. I reached in the back seat retrieved my jacket and after I got out I still had the car door open and I leaned in and said “ WE ARE FINISHED 👊🏻! I WALKED IN THE STORE AND CALLED AN UBER TO TAKE ME HOME😊!! I deleted and blocked him from my contacts. He was so stunned that he didn’t know what to say. He just stared at me and quickly drove off in his sports car👏. NO MORE IF THAT 💩👎🏻
At least 35 years ago..I went on a first date, I still remember not being able to eat my dinner because he was grilling me so hard, I just stopped eatting...dont remember his name or even what he looked like, but years later remember the anxiety of that date !!
Next time, say, "Do you have a point?...Is there specific information you're seeking?...Your grilling is making me sick to my stomach. Drop fork...Can you boil that down to one pertinent question?...Do you have any questions I should be asking you?"
If I walk away from a first date and I know way too much information about him and he knows nothing about me it’s not a good feeling at all. I feel I could chalk it up to being nervous, but I’ve actually realized it is his fault for not wanting to know more about you. Moving along…..
When love is genuine and real, there are no mistakes, the two people just know, there's no waste of time, both people can be themselves, and do or say whatever they want, it doesn't matter...you'll know when you find each other. ❤
People come with issues. You have to be discerning and decide what will work for you. You CANNOT do and say "whatever you want." That's ridiculous and screams low standards/no boundaries.
Table manners Negativity Questions about your current online dating Being late for the date (huge turn off) Using bad worlds (slam) on the first date .. and the list goes on lol Thank you so much for sharing this video 😊
The thing that made me refuse a second date, was that towards the end of a very good first date, the guy told me he wants to see me again next weekend, but he already has a second date with a woman he had been previously talking to, but he thinks he can squeeze in some time with me Sunday. It seemed uncouth.
Lift others up. Don't complain.. Say good or stay silent. Focus on how you feel and if YOU are having a good time. Be present. If they compliment you, say thank you.. Accept it. Keep it light.. Don't ask too mush.. Don't share too much.. 💖
I went out with a guy who was extremely rude to a flight Attendant and called her a B and I never went out with him again. He came from a wealthy family too.
The #1 thing that I have experienced with guys is the dateview. I am older, and I just wait for those questions, because they come every time. Why aren’t you with someone already, followed by, how many times have you been married. The other inevitable one: do you like to cook? Let’s just say, I do not overshare, and I am not interviewing for the job of cooking. #2 Expecting a kiss on the first date. It’s like, I paid for dinner, this better lead to intimacy. Nope. #3 talking about themselves and not trying to get to know me. You might be nervous, but if you don’t show more interest on date 2, I’m out.
As long as she is happy and has her peace, there is nothing wrong with it. 😌 Most woman I know over 60+ are happy and more peaceful and content being single and are actually not looking for anyone, because they don't need the extra burden and have a good social cycle. It is mostly the men at 60+ who look for a caregiver 😆 There is a reason why single woman live longer while single men don't. If a men at that age still can't take care of themselves as well as there household, they are basically big infants.
@@Minadori123 You are so right. I am a nurse with a purse, so basically I do get pursued, but here’s the thing: a man is not a plan. I have stopped the online match making and am living very happily as an independent single in a beach and golfing community. I like guys. I appreciate them, but I am not strategizing to “get” one. 😂
I’m a naturally shy person and every time a date tries to interview me, bombing me with tons of questions I end up drained and quite terrified 😅 so number two is on point.
Thank you Matt!! I actually can't say I get asked out at all on dates anymore but than again I feel I've been attracting the wrong men once again. I'm sick and tired of repeating the circus circle and I'm gonna in a sense stalk your post this morning and cram as much knowledge in my head as possible. Just want to say thank you very much for your help and advice. It's time I change my life and become the woman I used to be before I became a survivor of domestic abuse many times over. No more settling it's time to get real have fun and find my forever man!!! God bless
I don’t understand why men give you BS after the first date about calling you and getting together again but then ghost you. Why can’t they be honest? Just end it by saying it was great to meet you and leave it at that!
Because he simply added you to his roster of women who interest him, but _to him_ you fell short on some of his standards or preferences and so he hopes to find someone better. But if he doesn't: he has you as a back up, and why a man leaves that door open. So when a man ghosts: BLOCK and delete and move on!
@@jessitabonita All true, but there can be one more reason : they do not want to hurt you but do not know how to tell you without hurting you either. Normal men do not want to hurt women. That's why they better ghost or go silent.
A first date, I've learned is this. To see if there's: 1. Chemistry. 2. Things in common. 3. Learn each other's values, standards, deal breakers. 4. Goals and if you some in common. 5. If you see/feel red flags, listen. I had a first date with what I perceived as a nice guy. Church going, deacon in the church, etc. Ohhh boy was I wrong. First date he was way too forward, talked about himself all the time, never asked me questions etc. 30 minutes into date, I knew this was never going anywhere. End of date he was forward and asked for a kiss and a hug. Nope. AND then texted me all night long as if we were in a relationship!!! Had to block him on everything. Now another first date, the man was sweet. Nice first date. We laughed etc. But by end of date we both said there's no chemistry here but boy we could be best friends. That's been a few years ago now. I'm in great relationship with a great guy and I'm soo happy. 😊
You decide no chemistry after the first date? Too soon. Feelings can grow after you get to know eachother. The first guy probably talked about himself because he liked you and wanted to share about himself. Maybe too much but, I would have gone out with them at least 3 times. But that's me. 🤪
@Lauradahl-creations this guy talked at restaurant about his previous dates in detail. Sexual detail. You would not have given him a second date unless you wanted to be talked about. He was a control freak. And yes after one date, there was no chemistry there and we both felt it.
A common thing that scares me away is when the date never pays for anything when going to a restaurant or to a café. I don't believe that men should pay for everything or to shower me with gifts but the opposite isn't good either. I'd like to know what does Mat thinks about this?
The phone is a big one for me when im on a date with a guy. It tells me he has no interest in investing his attention or time in me. Especially in the middle of a conversation. That is SO rude! Tells me he thinks everything he has to say is important (as he's usually not on his phone while HE'S talking) bt that my words or my side of the conversation isn't worth the effort and neither is he at that point. 💁
This was the best dating advice video I've ever come across!! Thank you for posting this! Excellent help! Now, I'm fully aware of what NOT to do on my next date! Stay off phone, which I normally do...keep it in my purse. Don't bring up ex's which I have been guilty of doing, be nice to everyone and compliment others in a positive manner, which I'm pretty shy, but gonna start doing, so the guy sees I'm a good positive self-confident woman and just relax and be myself instead of trying too hard to get him to like me! So many great points u spoke about and I got more confidence now for my next date! Thanks so much and God bless!
It can also be things like not having fresh smelling clothes or breath. If on that very first impression when you give a hug to greet them, you want it to be enticing not stale. A good fresh smell will automatically make me more interested in being interested.
This was excellent! I think people, particularly women, feel like they need to figure out how to fix men instead of just realizing “this person is not what I want fundamentally”. This especially happens when we find a man that checks are boxes for looks, profession, financial status, etc. I’ve seen men do what I call the hard sell on dates, ie. “I have my own business, I make ___ amount of money, etc.”. I think that’s such a turn off. I’ve also experienced the guy who lists all his requirements for a woman…an even bigger turn off.
Wow, I'm totally guilty of figuring out how to fix men. Thank you for eloquently putting it that way! I need to learn to come from a place of 'Can I accept this guy for who he is or not?'. Thank you again, Marion!
I’ve had guys be very touchy on first date, ask me to go to back to their place, ask me about my exes, or ask how the dating scene is going for me. Most unattractive is when they seem desperate and are trying to just sleep with me. If they’re awkward and not confident. They don’t know how to guide a conversation or talk about weird things. As for myself, I’ve made the mistake of over sharing, people pleasing, being coy, In my mind I’m being honest but I guess it’s not the right time to tell my life story haha 😂 I also would be doing too much like offering to pay or driving to them. I’ve realized because of these videos I’ve been setting myself up to be a “victim” and to be taken advantage of. Basically attracting the wrong type of person. Pretty much all the long term relationships I’ve been in were with abusive people. 😢 I’m thankful for these videos I can see the mistakes I’ve been making now.
If a man interrupts you when you're talking, especially right in the middle of making your point or telling a story, bad sign! Check please! lol In my experience, when he does that, he's showing you that he isn't interested in who you are as a person. If he was, he would hear you out, express his thoughts about what you said, and ask you more questions. It should be a flow of conversation, a natural back and forth between you, not one person talking at the other the whole time.
I never even made it to a date with one guy. We were on a dating app getting to know each other and he began interrogating me so much for the next couple of days it wore me out and became very irritating until I finally just said I'm tired of the application you have me filling out I think we need a break from talking.
What makes a conversation bad: 1. Self depreciation 2. Play victim (agree on this coz I hate it when it's all about how bad of a job they have, it brings negativity and you can't say anything about it, so the mood went down hill) and this goes for everyone, even family members. 3. Undermining jokes
There was a dating profile once where a man expressed he wanted someone who is self deprecating. I didn't understand then and I don't now. I agree with all 3 of your points. Especially the last one because so many men loved sarcasm like it was a good thing and a must have in a relationship. Clearly they never read the definition.
A bartender actually saved me on a first date by showing me the true nature of my date. My original perspective of what happened: Date took me to a bar he was familiar with. The bartender filled my date's drink a bit too full and when giving it to him, a small amount spilled on date's hand. My date blew up. I attempted to calm him down telling him it was an accident but he was so arrogant and accusing the bartender of doing it on purpose. We left shortly after and date was horrific to the bartender even as we were leaving, all the while the bartender was looking at me in a very calm manner. I was young, 19, but it all struck me as odd. I ended the date a bit later and declined further dates even though the man was clearly wealthy. Found out much later the source of his wealth was illegal activities on the side of his legal business ventures. He drugged women that were naive and had no relatives near and entrapped them into prostitution. I realized that bartender suspected or was familiar with this. I now wish I had gone back and thanked him.
One time I waited too long (for 2 weeks) to write to the man I met online in the app I had not been using (he gave me his nickname on the dating website without asking if it was convenient for me to move to that app, I thought it was a red flag but decided to give him a chance), so after I finally contacted him he got pissed how it had taken me so long to write to him. Ohhh, well.🤦♀️🙄 Blocked/deleted
For me I let the man ask me questions. I go with the flow because the first date should be about making me laugh and telling me what your deep interest are with me or not. I might not give the guy a second date. So no over sharing just basic information.
Mat is the best because he does not endlessly repeat someone's invented theories like a broken music record, but always gives lifely examples,not standard half truths.
Hello friends are you trying to attract or manifest love? to get back your ex, manifest your specific person, He's the best in restoring back broken relationship and attracting
Hello Mat, I’ve noticed dating past 60 yrs old is a challenge because most people are set in their ways. I went on a date couple of months ago with a widowed gentleman as we were being seated in the restaurant he said not directly to me but loud enough in which I heard him say “I never want to get married again”. I have no idea why he even said that because we weren’t talking about marriage. Is that not a turnoff or what. What’s your opinion…?
The oversharing on a first date is kind of interesting because for me by the time it gets to meeting in person with some of them they may be long distance or a couple hours away and we've already been talking for a while. We have been texting a couple months or a while by then so we have formed a good friendship and gotten past the basics and know we have interests in common and are willing to see if that might develop into more, or there might already be some kind of attraction, but in person it may or may not be there and we want to find out. When we meet it is normally light, fun, and at least a little flirty but without physical contact other than maybe a hug at the end to keep it from moving too fast but we talk about deeper things than a normal first date because we perhaps already overshared by text or phone ahead of time. It seems hard for me to keep it light and mysterious over an extended period of time by text/ calls unless neither of us have much time for it and the contact is kept shorter each time and maybe less frequent. Even somewhat local guys tend to want to text forever before dragging it out and finally committing to a first date after excuses and then they are sporadic because of more excuses. Are they not very interested, lazy, wanting an easy non-committal virtual girlfriend/ situationship for an on demand ego boost when they feel like it, or keeping their options open?
I have been dating a guy in another country for nearly 1 year now. We start first as friend though an online game and talk to each other a lot. So when he finally come and visit me irl 2 months ago our first date is not like a normal first date too. We already know about each other life a lot so instead of mentioning about that we just enjoy each other company instead and I can feel the attraction rise off the chart when we are together. We took over half a year to form a strong emotional connection first via video chat , voice chat and text message which make that 1st date not awkward but really fun. We already know what kind of topic to disscuss and what is each other hobbies so the conversation were never dull or boring
Great advice! I do feel the best way to be on a date is to always be your authentic self. And yeah, if the other date is on their phone, knocks down others, and is not well kept in the way they dress and keep themselves, then walk the other way. Unless of course, your o.k. with any of that.
So true I remember I used to show up as anyone but myself on dates and not only did it feel hard work to put on an act I was also dating guys under false pretences and at some point, my authentic self would have to come so it wasn't the best plan to not just be her in the 1st place!! Be your authentic self best plan ever!
First date: how was your day, he asked…. As I was answering , he interrupted and said… where is this going? I replied, nowhere …. Just telling you a story about my day. How bout your day?…. Dear lord… can’t even listen to by day?? I wasn’t telling this long story…. Lol Next
Thanks for this great content, Mat! I did find the background music distracting, making it difficult to focus on what you're saying. Best regards to you and your family.
Amazing video as always thank you for sharing your wisdom! And it's so true we women do tend to jump to what's wrong with me and give ourselves such a hard time, so this video is very valuable in helping to shift to a different way of thinking. ❤
This was perfect advice 👌🏼😀 as far as what guys have done on a date that I hate it, I’ve had guys interrupt me a lot and it makes me uncomfortable. I’ve had guys check their phone. I’ve had guys check out other women. I’ve had guys that didn’t even know my ex talk about my exes to bring themselves up and put them down. I’ve had guys on a date Talk about Their favorite hobby been to strip clubs, I’ve had guys get crazy drunk, I’ve had guys get grabby, I can go on and on and on let’s just say my dating life has not been the best ha ha Ha
Sadly on date one, we need to know that our date is really single and available. Too many married, LTR folks out fake dating when really looking for affair. Worse as we are older.
Hi Matt, thank you! This was so well done and so helpful! Your energy was just right as you gave this advice. I don't usually comment but this one is extra special.
Oh i had sooo many date killers for example: being too selfish/ too passive waiting for me to choose where what when.. / too calm (boring)/ not giving importance to their look/ texting while I don't watch/ talking too much about themselves and not caring to ask about my interests/ coming with no plans ..... I think I'm done dating I lost faith in men 😩
Hey Matt love your videos as always!!! I was wondering could you make a video on How to know the difference between listening to Man when he’s opening up to you vs knowing when he is asking for advice/support?
Should I be honest and tell him that I run from men if they pursue me too strongly, and that it takes time for me to feel comfortable enough to accept a date from them?
I tell you something... why don't you make a video on top 10 most common wrong things with dating apps... 20 years ago, the world was totally different. people tried harder to be in relationships. now people just swipe right after after every little thing they found wrong with anyone. that is not how relationships form. these apps messed up the dating world and the society. I have never seen anything like this. in my 20s people put a lot more effort into relationships and friendships. I met a guy and hooked up with him and spent 17 years with him. I got divorced and I am shocked to see how many mistakes people make in dating and how miserable they are. bottom line no one tries anymore. they just keep swiping right. it is so much easier to give up and keep going to the next person, than work harder to keep the relationship going.
It's a sad, empty and unfulfilling life... I hope one realizes that swiping right over and over again is just changing the pair of shoes under the sheets for another set.
I had a date with a guy who approached a car with a pretty woman inside, I mistakenly thought he was looking for me but he told me he just wanted to talk to her with seems like he tried to pick-up on her. This already made me cringe. The whole date was awful and made me want to run. He talked to me about his ex who showed up at his house 300 lbs weightier, wanting to get back together with him, how he thinks people should stop drinking milk, that was why people were getting fat. He mentioned how hard it is for him to date, that he could meet younger women from Russia online and they would gladly date and want to marry him. Of course he wanted me to guess his age. He was a nice looking man who never once asked about me or my interests. I recommend meeting for coffee to find out if you want to even spend more than 15 minutes with a person. I have made the mistakes you talk about in this video so I’m not just ragging on men but you asked so I thought I’d tell you about my ‘hell’ date.
Second date with this guy tonight. He's STILL constantly checking his phone. First Date- he took a call from his kid's mom who was only checking to see what day he had off because his son wanted to do XYZ. She could've texted and he could've responded AFTER the date. I brushed it off on the first date. But it's a BIG red flag after the second date. Unless you are on call for work or an ER physician- there's absolutely no need to check your phone on a date. And I'm a very attractive female and highly educated. Maybe that's why he was checking his phone, either way, I won't be seeing him again.
@@martianwalker31 that's a relationship killer. There's no logical reason to wait till marriage, that started as a religious thing. To really get to know a person, the sex has to happen. That's one of the most intimate, bonding parts of being with someone. A lot of times after having sex, people don't want to be with them because it just doesn't feel right. Without the sex you're just friends. You could feel great with someone, but then sex happens and it just feels weird or you just don't like how the person is in bed.
He will never cover that. It would go against everything he teaches about getting to know someone. Because sex is really important in knowing someone & if it feels right & if you will like how they are in bed. I'm assuming you're religious, if so you will most likely have to find another religious person who will wait for marriage.
I did OLD and went out with a guy. It was a dinner date. When we met he informed me that he'd already ate..(red flag) and then he proceeded to talk about himself for 3 hours...(red flag). I was so hungry after the date, I ghosted him. The second guy I met a guy and he is several years retired; I am still working. He would constantly text me. Literally every day and morning and the hours in-between...(red flag). It was just too much as I work and I have a life -.ghosted him as well.
Things I've seen guys do alot: - He's buries/focused on his phone, focus on the date & not your phone - Talks about his ex - Being rude to the waiter or rushing the waiter. - Boasts about himself so much, it's irritating - Whine like a baby about something ( life, family, work)etc. - Being dramatic & making a scene All those & more are huge turn-offs for me. Some of those things I'll call em out.
So many people have this question I believe - and having the awareness that maybe the 2 people are just not suited or compatible. It might be the push you need to walk away and try going out with someone else
Hello friends are you trying to attract or manifest love? to get back your ex, manifest your specific person, He's the best in restoring back broken relationship and attracting
Turn off is him constantly looking around. I had invited this guy to my place for dinner so he could help me with something. The way he was looking around at my stuff made me conclude he was taking inventory. And he ate most of the chili dinner I had made!
I think a big mistake is to be your best at first date. That sets a wrong expectation. You want to real, so real because you want to be delivering that every single moment and be accepted. I made a mistake before and never again. I just be as real as I can, and know my soul mate will be the one who celebrate my authenticity.
I was getting interested in a guy and then I heard him say on his phone to another guy about one of his clients that she was a (the C word) then another time a racial slur and I was so disappointed because he had 97% of what I am looking for but like you said,… if he is saying these derogatory statements about people he doesn’t know that well, when he gets angry around me someday I’m afraid he would do the same. I need someone who will say “ I’m feeling angry, let’s talk” or something like that. Too bad though because in every other way he seemed perfectly suited to my needs and I would be for his.
Im 18 and starting to date. Im on bumble and already find myself confused by how quick guys want a commitment. Like after 2 dates they’re like “so do you like me? Do you want to be my girl?” And honestly I really don’t know yet. It’s too early to know. But I feel pressured and don’t know how to say “Hold on, I just don’t know yet”. I’m too accommodating and I don’t know what to say to set a boundary and tell guy to stop rushing things into an official commitment
Matt, could you do a video about why it seems a lot of guys (maybe not all) at least many I’ve met online want to get intimate very quickly? Maybe there are many reasons. Should it always be a red flag if you’re looking for a relationship? How do you tell? Thank you!!!
It's not necessarily a red flag, but you better know that men always expect it from a woman, otherwise they would not start to communicate with you at all or the worst: they are interested in other benefits they could get from you (meaning in financial topics). Sex is not an expression of love for men and it is not even that intimate as it is for a woman. That's why we always have to think first what it means for us and not "go with the flow"..
i say gently “i am really into you and i think you are so attractive, but this (sex) right away is not my style” then smile! it does not have to be aggressive approach
It is usually easier to find that out by not allowing them to talk you into it when your values are not aligned with it or if you’re not comfortable with it. How they handle not getting what they want quickly will tell you everything you need to know. I personally don’t want that kind of pressure on me tho. To have to keep correcting a guy who refuses to stop pushing at me to give in. I consider that disrespect and disregarding my wishes which leads me to a hard no about any more dates with them. If they aren’t capable of putting lust on the shelf for awhile, or controlling their urges or stuck on always getting instant gratification, or can’t handle not getting what they want….I don’t want them.
Hey Matt,first date went really well I have a problem he called this morning to ask me to his house,do you feel that's right at all.He wants to see me but this time in his house.i refused already I just want to know if its right.i hope I get a response
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“The purpose of a first date is to determine if there’s a second date” - A smart woman in Calif.
I always get sex on the first date
I've been out with both men and women who do not look at the waiter/waitress while ordering or asking questions and it always bothers me. I think looking at someone acknowledges them and is therefore respectful.
It is 100% respectful and humanizing.
Rejection is Protection. I've had many one date wonders recently because the guys I went out were having issues in their life (Covid has made dating difficult) and they don't do any inner work to heal wounds and trauma. One guy laughed at my self help work. He texted me the next day to say he felt no romantic connection - I told him I felt the same and then he got mad lol. I dodged a bullet with a narcissist. Thank God.
Just when I was about to loose my lover to another man, this great MAN came through to help with his spells and I'm forever grateful 💞🙏 #dragege
The "Rejection is protection" is so powerful I can't tell you how many times it's helped me ground back into my truth and elevate myself out of a hole. SO POWERFUL. And 100 % you dodged a bullet. If the guy ever finds the inner work he will look back at his laughing at your book and cringe! Sending happy vibes ❤
@@itssarahduffstyle If he really is a narcissist, he won't ever look back, they never do
Amen sister! Same experience.
@Michael Howington You have an interesting definition of being disagreeable.
. Checking other women out or expressing how he thinks that someone else is hot while with you ! Big turn off to me
One question people ask on a first date that is a big conversation killer is “so, why are you single?”. It’s the most odd question … are you suggesting being single is a bad thing? Or, that there must be some reason that I’m single that I’m supposed to explain to you? Is there really an answer to that question since we are all single for a variety of reasons! It’s personal and invasive. It’s so common though!
Had a guy chat me up and I wasnt interested and told him I was happily single and he wouldnt believe me. Im not actively looking at the minute. Genuinely happy with my life as it is right now. That might change in future
By choice not chance cuz I’m smart. Shuts them up every time
@16bronzebow04you can tell him, I’m single because I have standards and not everyone can measure up to my standards. I value myself and I’m not going to accept less than what I deserve. Or say something similar. Usually men mull this over and realize that’s a legit reason to be single
Better question, 'do YOU know why you are single?'
@jackdeniston59 yes, I like that. Flip the question. "First tell me why you're single..."
So True, Mat. My first date with my future husband Rick was lunch at a restaurant I said I liked.
He was chivalrous - opening doors, etc - which I love. After we were seated, the 1st thing Rick did was ask our server for his name. Rick spoke to our server by name for the duration of our meal. I Loved that he treated that person like a person. It demonstrated respect, humility & gratitude.
My husband did that every time we ate out for the 36 yrs we were married - until he passed away.
Sorry for your loss 🙏🏻
Beautiful story ✨
Sounds like a lovely man. My condolences for your huge loss❤
The biggest turn-off for me on a first date is when the man doesn’t listen to me when I talk.
For way too many people, both men and women, there is talking, and there is waiting (to talk again), instead of listening.
That is also probably nerves
THIS.
you say something and it was like you said nothing at all because their response has no relevance
It's a big turnoff when the date starts asking about sex: when was the last time, what position do you like, etc. Dude, I don't know you well enough yet!
People kept asking me what was wrong with me because I wasn't going on second dates. Ask for sex on a first date and I know there us no respect for me and it's over before it started. Bye.
Yeah that truly is a cringe. Stay away from having sex in dating. That's foe a relationship.
@@gaillewis5472
I’m 78 and I went on 3 dates with a man who was so kind and opened doors walked on the outside of the sidewalk with me, took my hand when crossing streets, bought a hot coffee on a chilly morning at the beach. BUT THE 2nd DATE WAS DIFFERENT. He did all the gentleman courtesies but he began to ask personal questions like you mentioned or make sexual innuendos 🥴😱! I told him those questions and actions were intrusive and disrespectful so early in our dating. He reined it in some but I could tell he was still in that mode of wanting to pursue that line of talk. He called me early the next day n asked if I go for breakfast. He apologized for his actions the day before. I was reluctant but accepted. All hell broke loose when we had made it through a nice breakfast and he was taking me home. He wanted me to spend the rest of the day with him. I had to refuse because I had arranged to meet with family members later for dinner. He was annoyed then, began to ask his vulgar suggestive questions again. I just refused to give him answers and I let him go quiet a bit. I said thanks for breakfast and made some small talk. Then I asked him to stop at the next 7/11 store I wanted to purchase something. He did. I reached in the back seat retrieved my jacket and after I got out I still had the car door open and I leaned in and said “ WE ARE FINISHED 👊🏻! I WALKED IN THE STORE AND CALLED AN UBER TO TAKE ME HOME😊!! I deleted and blocked him from my contacts. He was so stunned that he didn’t know what to say. He just stared at me and quickly drove off in his sports car👏. NO MORE IF THAT 💩👎🏻
Don't just date anyone. Pray about this. God doesn't want you disrespected.
Throwing litter out the window of the car. Total deal-breaker. Said a lot.
😂What kind of litter?😜
How disrespectful.
I was out with a guy who threw a bottle out the window. I made him get out and retrieve it.
At least 35 years ago..I went on a first date, I still remember not being able to eat my dinner because he was grilling me so hard, I just stopped eatting...dont remember his name or even what he looked like, but years later remember the anxiety of that date !!
Lol😂Sorry that you had to go through that nightmare!
Next time, say, "Do you have a point?...Is there specific information you're seeking?...Your grilling is making me sick to my stomach. Drop fork...Can you boil that down to one pertinent question?...Do you have any questions I should be asking you?"
If I walk away from a first date and I know way too much information about him and he knows nothing about me it’s not a good feeling at all. I feel I could chalk it up to being nervous, but I’ve actually realized it is his fault for not wanting to know more about you. Moving along…..
Start the car!
When love is genuine and real, there are no mistakes, the two people just know, there's no waste of time, both people can be themselves, and do or say whatever they want, it doesn't matter...you'll know when you find each other. ❤
People come with issues. You have to be discerning and decide what will work for you. You CANNOT do and say "whatever you want." That's ridiculous and screams low standards/no boundaries.
Table manners
Negativity
Questions about your current online dating
Being late for the date (huge turn off)
Using bad worlds (slam) on the first date
.. and the list goes on lol
Thank you so much for sharing this video 😊
Questions about online dating? Personally I wouldn't want to date a serial dater.
The thing that made me refuse a second date, was that towards the end of a very good first date, the guy told me he wants to see me again next weekend, but he already has a second date with a woman he had been previously talking to, but he thinks he can squeeze in some time with me Sunday. It seemed uncouth.
😮
Wow...How tacky of him! There's nothing wrong with him "dating" other women. However, you did not need to know that! Smh...Horrible
😊
2:26
Lift others up.
Don't complain.. Say good or stay silent.
Focus on how you feel and if YOU are having a good time. Be present.
If they compliment you, say thank you.. Accept it.
Keep it light.. Don't ask too mush.. Don't share too much..
💖
I went out with a guy who was extremely rude to a flight Attendant and called her a B and I never went out with him again. He came from a wealthy family too.
I occasionally watch "tips" videos as a source of humor. But, this guy has genuine good tips.
The #1 thing that I have experienced with guys is the dateview. I am older, and I just wait for those questions, because they come every time. Why aren’t you with someone already, followed by, how many times have you been married. The other inevitable one: do you like to cook? Let’s just say, I do not overshare, and I am not interviewing for the job of cooking.
#2 Expecting a kiss on the first date. It’s like, I paid for dinner, this better lead to intimacy. Nope.
#3 talking about themselves and not trying to get to know me. You might be nervous, but if you don’t show more interest on date 2, I’m out.
Yep. My problem is I’ve ended up isolating now, and definitely have no desire to put up with the online route anymore.
....and you are still, and always will be, single.
@@jackdeniston59 Lol. I see by your channel comments that you are an incel troll. How is that working out for you?
As long as she is happy and has her peace, there is nothing wrong with it. 😌
Most woman I know over 60+ are happy and more peaceful and content being single and are actually not looking for anyone, because they don't need the extra burden and have a good social cycle.
It is mostly the men at 60+ who look for a caregiver 😆
There is a reason why single woman live longer while single men don't.
If a men at that age still can't take care of themselves as well as there household, they are basically big infants.
@@Minadori123 You are so right. I am a nurse with a purse, so basically I do get pursued, but here’s the thing: a man is not a plan. I have stopped the online match making and am living very happily as an independent single in a beach and golfing community. I like guys. I appreciate them, but I am not strategizing to “get” one. 😂
It’s reality hard to screw up the right thing. This is so encouraging and empowering 🎉❤
I’m a naturally shy person and every time a date tries to interview me, bombing me with tons of questions I end up drained and quite terrified 😅 so number two is on point.
LOL I hear you! Introverts often struggle with those "put on the spot" questions. It goes much better when the conversation flows naturally.
Thank you Matt!! I actually can't say I get asked out at all on dates anymore but than again I feel I've been attracting the wrong men once again. I'm sick and tired of repeating the circus circle and I'm gonna in a sense stalk your post this morning and cram as much knowledge in my head as possible. Just want to say thank you very much for your help and advice. It's time I change my life and become the woman I used to be before I became a survivor of domestic abuse many times over. No more settling it's time to get real have fun and find my forever man!!! God bless
Like attracts like so if you still have that energy on you from past abuse I would suggest getting an energy healing session done to remove it. 💜🙏
Just when I was about to loose my lover to another man, this great MAN came through to help with his spells and I'm forever grateful 💞🙏 #dragege
I can relate.
I don’t understand why men give you BS after the first date about calling you and getting together again but then ghost you. Why can’t they be honest? Just end it by saying it was great to meet you and leave it at that!
Because he simply added you to his roster of women who interest him, but _to him_ you fell short on some of his standards or preferences and so he hopes to find someone better. But if he doesn't: he has you as a back up, and why a man leaves that door open. So when a man ghosts: BLOCK and delete and move on!
@@jessitabonita All true, but there can be one more reason : they do not want to hurt you but do not know how to tell you without hurting you either. Normal men do not want to hurt women. That's why they better ghost or go silent.
He's a narcissist.
A first date, I've learned is this.
To see if there's:
1. Chemistry.
2. Things in common.
3. Learn each other's values, standards, deal breakers.
4. Goals and if you some in common.
5. If you see/feel red flags, listen.
I had a first date with what I perceived as a nice guy. Church going, deacon in the church, etc. Ohhh boy was I wrong. First date he was way too forward, talked about himself all the time, never asked me questions etc. 30 minutes into date, I knew this was never going anywhere.
End of date he was forward and asked for a kiss and a hug. Nope.
AND then texted me all night long as if we were in a relationship!!! Had to block him on everything.
Now another first date, the man was sweet. Nice first date. We laughed etc. But by end of date we both said there's no chemistry here but boy we could be best friends.
That's been a few years ago now. I'm in great relationship with a great guy and I'm soo happy. 😊
Wait, so you became friends with the guy and then dated? Or you stayed fitness with the one guy, then met someone else you're currently dating?
@@ElaBB2020 1st date church going creep.
1st date, another guy, just friends.
1st date, 3rd guy, in a relationship 6 years now.
You decide no chemistry after the first date? Too soon. Feelings can grow after you get to know eachother.
The first guy probably talked about himself because he liked you and wanted to share about himself. Maybe too much but, I would have gone out with them at least 3 times. But that's me. 🤪
Usually it's the church men who are the worst. Been through that,too!
@Lauradahl-creations this guy talked at restaurant about his previous dates in detail. Sexual detail. You would not have given him a second date unless you wanted to be talked about. He was a control freak.
And yes after one date, there was no chemistry there and we both felt it.
I'm pretty sure I've made many of these mistakes on first dates i've been on. This was very helpful, thank you!
A common thing that scares me away is when the date never pays for anything when going to a restaurant or to a café. I don't believe that men should pay for everything or to shower me with gifts but the opposite isn't good either. I'd like to know what does Mat thinks about this?
Don’t date if you can’t pay or spend for your girl
The phone is a big one for me when im on a date with a guy. It tells me he has no interest in investing his attention or time in me. Especially in the middle of a conversation. That is SO rude! Tells me he thinks everything he has to say is important (as he's usually not on his phone while HE'S talking) bt that my words or my side of the conversation isn't worth the effort and neither is he at that point. 💁
This was the best dating advice video I've ever come across!! Thank you for posting this! Excellent help! Now, I'm fully aware of what NOT to do on my next date! Stay off phone, which I normally do...keep it in my purse. Don't bring up ex's which I have been guilty of doing, be nice to everyone and compliment others in a positive manner, which I'm pretty shy, but gonna start doing, so the guy sees I'm a good positive self-confident woman and just relax and be myself instead of trying too hard to get him to like me! So many great points u spoke about and I got more confidence now for my next date! Thanks so much and God bless!
It can also be things like not having fresh smelling clothes or breath. If on that very first impression when you give a hug to greet them, you want it to be enticing not stale. A good fresh smell will automatically make me more interested in being interested.
Yeah. I was having fun dancing with a guy until I realized two things: he wasn't wearing shorts under his sweats, and his breath was.....oh no.
This was excellent! I think people, particularly women, feel like they need to figure out how to fix men instead of just realizing “this person is not what I want fundamentally”. This especially happens when we find a man that checks are boxes for looks, profession, financial status, etc. I’ve seen men do what I call the hard sell on dates, ie. “I have my own business, I make ___ amount of money, etc.”. I think that’s such a turn off. I’ve also experienced the guy who lists all his requirements for a woman…an even bigger turn off.
Yes, what I think to say is “ we’re just not a match”
Just when I was about to loose my lover to another man, this great MAN came through to help with his spells and I'm forever grateful 💞🙏 #dragege
Couldn't agree more it is a turn-off! I remember going on a date with a guy who wanted to show me pictures of his Porsche 😬
@@itssarahduffstyle 😄
Wow, I'm totally guilty of figuring out how to fix men. Thank you for eloquently putting it that way! I need to learn to come from a place of 'Can I accept this guy for who he is or not?'. Thank you again, Marion!
I’ve had guys be very touchy on first date, ask me to go to back to their place, ask me about my exes, or ask how the dating scene is going for me. Most unattractive is when they seem desperate and are trying to just sleep with me. If they’re awkward and not confident. They don’t know how to guide a conversation or talk about weird things.
As for myself, I’ve made the mistake of over sharing, people pleasing, being coy, In my mind I’m being honest but I guess it’s not the right time to tell my life story haha 😂
I also would be doing too much like offering to pay or driving to them. I’ve realized because of these videos I’ve been setting myself up to be a “victim” and to be taken advantage of. Basically attracting the wrong type of person. Pretty much all the long term relationships I’ve been in were with abusive people. 😢
I’m thankful for these videos I can see the mistakes I’ve been making now.
If a man interrupts you when you're talking, especially right in the middle of making your point or telling a story, bad sign! Check please! lol In my experience, when he does that, he's showing you that he isn't interested in who you are as a person. If he was, he would hear you out, express his thoughts about what you said, and ask you more questions. It should be a flow of conversation, a natural back and forth between you, not one person talking at the other the whole time.
Great video!!! Some things we do or say subconsciously, thinking it’s all good, when in reality not at all 😄
I never even made it to a date with one guy. We were on a dating app getting to know each other and he began interrogating me so much for the next couple of days it wore me out and became very irritating until I finally just said I'm tired of the application you have me filling out I think we need a break from talking.
Dating sites is not a good way to meet men.
What makes a conversation bad:
1. Self depreciation
2. Play victim (agree on this coz I hate it when it's all about how bad of a job they have, it brings negativity and you can't say anything about it, so the mood went down hill) and this goes for everyone, even family members.
3. Undermining jokes
There was a dating profile once where a man expressed he wanted someone who is self deprecating. I didn't understand then and I don't now. I agree with all 3 of your points. Especially the last one because so many men loved sarcasm like it was a good thing and a must have in a relationship. Clearly they never read the definition.
A bartender actually saved me on a first date by showing me the true nature of my date.
My original perspective of what happened:
Date took me to a bar he was familiar with. The bartender filled my date's drink a bit too full and when giving it to him, a small amount spilled on date's hand.
My date blew up.
I attempted to calm him down telling him it was an accident but he was so arrogant and accusing the bartender of doing it on purpose.
We left shortly after and date was horrific to the bartender even as we were leaving, all the while the bartender was looking at me in a very calm manner.
I was young, 19, but it all struck me as odd. I ended the date a bit later and declined further dates even though the man was clearly wealthy.
Found out much later the source of his wealth was illegal activities on the side of his legal business ventures. He drugged women that were naive and had no relatives near and entrapped them into prostitution.
I realized that bartender suspected or was familiar with this.
I now wish I had gone back and thanked him.
Pro-tip: a man who takes you to a bar for a first date doesn't respect women.
@@KathrineJKozachok Not necessarily.
One time I waited too long (for 2 weeks) to write to the man I met online in the app I had not been using (he gave me his nickname on the dating website without asking if it was convenient for me to move to that app, I thought it was a red flag but decided to give him a chance), so after I finally contacted him he got pissed how it had taken me so long to write to him. Ohhh, well.🤦♀️🙄 Blocked/deleted
@Paula Haller - Wow! What story! Bartender was giving you a TIP ... indirectly !
@@paulahaller says the woman who's judgment got her into this situation
For me I let the man ask me questions. I go with the flow because the first date should be about making me laugh and telling me what your deep interest are with me or not.
I might not give the guy a second date. So no over sharing just basic information.
Thank you Matt! Going on a first date tonight and this was super helpful!
Have a good time!
How was it?
Mat is the best because he does not endlessly repeat someone's invented theories like a broken music record, but always gives lifely examples,not standard half truths.
Hello friends are you trying to attract or manifest love? to get back your ex, manifest your specific person, He's the best in restoring back broken relationship and attracting
Believe me he's going to restore your broken relationship back successfully.💔👆
Hello Mat, I’ve noticed dating past 60 yrs old is a challenge because most people are set in their ways. I went on a date couple of months ago with a widowed gentleman as we were being seated in the restaurant he said not directly to me but loud enough in which I heard him say “I never want to get married again”. I have no idea why he even said that because we weren’t talking about marriage.
Is that not a turnoff or what. What’s your opinion…?
At least he was honest. My ex is 69 and led me on PRETENDING to want marriage. I was hurt by him.
Boy, could have used this a long time ago. Thank you, Matt. Didn't make all these mistakes. We all need these guidelines.
The oversharing on a first date is kind of interesting because for me by the time it gets to meeting in person with some of them they may be long distance or a couple hours away and we've already been talking for a while. We have been texting a couple months or a while by then so we have formed a good friendship and gotten past the basics and know we have interests in common and are willing to see if that might develop into more, or there might already be some kind of attraction, but in person it may or may not be there and we want to find out. When we meet it is normally light, fun, and at least a little flirty but without physical contact other than maybe a hug at the end to keep it from moving too fast but we talk about deeper things than a normal first date because we perhaps already overshared by text or phone ahead of time. It seems hard for me to keep it light and mysterious over an extended period of time by text/ calls unless neither of us have much time for it and the contact is kept shorter each time and maybe less frequent.
Even somewhat local guys tend to want to text forever before dragging it out and finally committing to a first date after excuses and then they are sporadic because of more excuses. Are they not very interested, lazy, wanting an easy non-committal virtual girlfriend/ situationship for an on demand ego boost when they feel like it, or keeping their options open?
I have been dating a guy in another country for nearly 1 year now. We start first as friend though an online game and talk to each other a lot. So when he finally come and visit me irl 2 months ago our first date is not like a normal first date too. We already know about each other life a lot so instead of mentioning about that we just enjoy each other company instead and I can feel the attraction rise off the chart when we are together. We took over half a year to form a strong emotional connection first via video chat , voice chat and text message which make that 1st date not awkward but really fun. We already know what kind of topic to disscuss and what is each other hobbies so the conversation were never dull or boring
This video looks like an interesting approach to understanding why second dates don't happen. It's definitely worth watching!
Great advice! I do feel the best way to be on a date is to always be your authentic self. And yeah, if the other date is on their phone, knocks down others, and is not well kept in the way they dress and keep themselves, then walk the other way. Unless of course, your o.k. with any of that.
So true I remember I used to show up as anyone but myself on dates and not only did it feel hard work to put on an act I was also dating guys under false pretences and at some point, my authentic self would have to come so it wasn't the best plan to not just be her in the 1st place!! Be your authentic self best plan ever!
First date: how was your day, he asked…. As I was answering , he interrupted and said… where is this going?
I replied, nowhere …. Just telling you a story about my day. How bout your day?….
Dear lord… can’t even listen to by day??
I wasn’t telling this long story…. Lol
Next
Thanks for this great content, Mat! I did find the background music distracting, making it difficult to focus on what you're saying. Best regards to you and your family.
Amazing video as always thank you for sharing your wisdom! And it's so true we women do tend to jump to what's wrong with me and give ourselves such a hard time, so this video is very valuable in helping to shift to a different way of thinking. ❤
Great advice Matt. I am not dating right now, but I will put these tips in my toolbox.
*Hey friend I got my relationship fixed back with the help of a man who brought my partner back in 48 hours after many years of separation.♥️♥️*
"Does it feel life-giving?" Love this!!!!
This was perfect advice 👌🏼😀 as far as what guys have done on a date that I hate it, I’ve had guys interrupt me a lot and it makes me uncomfortable. I’ve had guys check their phone. I’ve had guys check out other women. I’ve had guys that didn’t even know my ex talk about my exes to bring themselves up and put them down. I’ve had guys on a date Talk about Their favorite hobby been to strip clubs, I’ve had guys get crazy drunk, I’ve had guys get grabby, I can go on and on and on let’s just say my dating life has not been the best ha ha Ha
Me too! Hope you walked away? Some guys have no clue.
Sadly on date one, we need to know that our date is really single and available. Too many married, LTR folks out fake dating when really looking for affair. Worse as we are older.
Hi Matt, thank you! This was so well done and so helpful! Your energy was just right as you gave this advice. I don't usually comment but this one is extra special.
Just when I was about to loose my lover to another man, this great MAN came through to help with his spells and I'm forever grateful 🙏 #dragege
Oh i had sooo many date killers for example: being too selfish/ too passive waiting for me to choose where what when.. / too calm (boring)/ not giving importance to their look/ texting while I don't watch/ talking too much about themselves and not caring to ask about my interests/ coming with no plans ..... I think I'm done dating I lost faith in men 😩
Amazing advice 👏🏽👏🏽 I’ll definitely keep to them 😊
Hey Matt love your videos as always!!! I was wondering could you make a video on How to know the difference between listening to Man when he’s opening up to you vs knowing when he is asking for advice/support?
Men never expect an advice from a woman! They just expect your validation or consolation(the same as support), that's all.
Should I be honest and tell him that I run from men if they pursue me too strongly, and that it takes time for me to feel comfortable enough to accept a date from them?
What about kissing etc on the first date? Would be interesting to know your opinion on whats good and whats too much
You don't know hom enough. . Make him work for your affection so you don't come across easy.
I tell you something... why don't you make a video on top 10 most common wrong things with dating apps... 20 years ago, the world was totally different. people tried harder to be in relationships. now people just swipe right after after every little thing they found wrong with anyone. that is not how relationships form. these apps messed up the dating world and the society. I have never seen anything like this. in my 20s people put a lot more effort into relationships and friendships. I met a guy and hooked up with him and spent 17 years with him. I got divorced and I am shocked to see how many mistakes people make in dating and how miserable they are. bottom line no one tries anymore. they just keep swiping right. it is so much easier to give up and keep going to the next person, than work harder to keep the relationship going.
Are you describing a hump and dump scenario
It's a sad, empty and unfulfilling life... I hope one realizes that swiping right over and over again is just changing the pair of shoes under the sheets for another set.
Well said.
A man being his phone is the biggest turn-off. Second is checking out other women
Helps a lot about this love advice about having a date...thank you so much😊💓
I had a date with a guy who approached a car with a pretty woman inside, I mistakenly thought he was looking for me but he told me he just wanted to talk to her with seems like he tried to pick-up on her. This already made me cringe. The whole date was awful and made me want to run. He talked to me about his ex who showed up at his house 300 lbs weightier, wanting to get back together with him, how he thinks people should stop drinking milk, that was why people were getting fat. He mentioned how hard it is for him to date, that he could meet younger women from Russia online and they would gladly date and want to marry him. Of course he wanted me to guess his age. He was a nice looking man who never once asked about me or my interests. I recommend meeting for coffee to find out if you want to even spend more than 15 minutes with a person. I have made the mistakes you talk about in this video so I’m not just ragging on men but you asked so I thought I’d tell you about my ‘hell’ date.
Thank you so much Matt , great advice, 👍 👌 i"m going to do it, once I fund myself a good man .
Second date with this guy tonight. He's STILL constantly checking his phone. First Date- he took a call from his kid's mom who was only checking to see what day he had off because his son wanted to do XYZ. She could've texted and he could've responded AFTER the date. I brushed it off on the first date. But it's a BIG red flag after the second date. Unless you are on call for work or an ER physician- there's absolutely no need to check your phone on a date. And I'm a very attractive female and highly educated. Maybe that's why he was checking his phone, either way, I won't be seeing him again.
He's stoopit.
Great tips to be aware of and correcting them!
This was so informative
Sound advice. Thank you.
Thank you so much for the tips this will help me
Just discovered your channel. Great advice, Matt! Thank you.
Awesome advice. Thank you
Amazing❤Thank you❤
Hi Matt, can you please talk about saving yourself for marriage. I feel very desperate when I talk to men about this topic
Rob B Kowalski has a great channel related to that topic.
That's a matter of opinion mostly based on religion
@@reikidreams9265 not quite - there's an interesting video on RUclips '10 reasons not to have sex before marriage' by Rob Kowalski
@@martianwalker31 that's a relationship killer. There's no logical reason to wait till marriage, that started as a religious thing. To really get to know a person, the sex has to happen. That's one of the most intimate, bonding parts of being with someone. A lot of times after having sex, people don't want to be with them because it just doesn't feel right. Without the sex you're just friends. You could feel great with someone, but then sex happens and it just feels weird or you just don't like how the person is in bed.
He will never cover that. It would go against everything he teaches about getting to know someone. Because sex is really important in knowing someone & if it feels right & if you will like how they are in bed. I'm assuming you're religious, if so you will most likely have to find another religious person who will wait for marriage.
Very good video.👍👍
Very very very useful advices....points noted....you are doing a great job Matt boggs.....
Sangeetha Marvellous?
I did OLD and went out with a guy. It was a dinner date. When we met he informed me that he'd already ate..(red flag) and then he proceeded to talk about himself for 3 hours...(red flag). I was so hungry after the date, I ghosted him.
The second guy I met a guy and he is several years retired; I am still working. He would constantly text me. Literally every day and morning and the hours in-between...(red flag). It was just too much as I work and I have a life -.ghosted him as well.
I am glad that I am not looking to find anyone and can relax! I am going out on my own and managing fine.
Thx so much for this, I have been battling with issues like this for a very long time
Things I've seen guys do alot:
- He's buries/focused on his phone, focus on the date & not your phone
- Talks about his ex
- Being rude to the waiter or rushing the waiter.
- Boasts about himself so much, it's irritating
- Whine like a baby about something ( life, family, work)etc.
- Being dramatic & making a scene
All those & more are huge turn-offs for me. Some of those things I'll call em out.
I wouldn't bother hun. I'd just say thanks but we aren't a good match. xx
Thanks you very much Dear Matt please a question Is ok cooking dinner at home first date? Thanks
Thanks Matt for awesome advice and tipps
So many people have this question I believe - and having the awareness that maybe the 2 people are just not suited or compatible. It might be the push you need to walk away and try going out with someone else
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Turn off is him constantly looking around. I had invited this guy to my place for dinner so he could help me with something. The way he was looking around at my stuff made me conclude he was taking inventory. And he ate most of the chili dinner I had made!
So helpful!!
Talking about their physical attributes.
I think a big mistake is to be your best at first date. That sets a wrong expectation. You want to real, so real because you want to be delivering that every single moment and be accepted. I made a mistake before and never again. I just be as real as I can, and know my soul mate will be the one who celebrate my authenticity.
such great advice
Good video!
Great advice!
Wish I’d listened to your videos sooner 😅
Wow…sometimes ya just need to hear it and that’s enough! This is great!
I was getting interested in a guy and then I heard him say on his phone to another guy about one of his clients that she was a (the C word) then another time a racial slur and I was so disappointed because he had 97% of what I am looking for but like you said,… if he is saying these derogatory statements about people he doesn’t know that well, when he gets angry around me someday I’m afraid he would do the same. I need someone who will say “ I’m feeling angry, let’s talk” or something like that. Too bad though because in every other way he seemed perfectly suited to my needs and I would be for his.
Grest pooints, thanks!
Mat is there any advice you could give me for a 1st date I've got soon. Many thanks 😊
I love your videos. Thanks for the energy you bring
Great video!
I have one to add…a date that’s overly sexual on the first date.
Im 18 and starting to date. Im on bumble and already find myself confused by how quick guys want a commitment. Like after 2 dates they’re like “so do you like me? Do you want to be my girl?”
And honestly I really don’t know yet. It’s too early to know. But I feel pressured and don’t know how to say “Hold on, I just don’t know yet”. I’m too accommodating and I don’t know what to say to set a boundary and tell guy to stop rushing things into an official commitment
Thank u so much for that info
Matt, could you do a video about why it seems a lot of guys (maybe not all) at least many I’ve met online want to get intimate very quickly? Maybe there are many reasons. Should it always be a red flag if you’re looking for a relationship? How do you tell? Thank you!!!
It's not necessarily a red flag, but you better know that men always expect it from a woman, otherwise they would not start to communicate with you at all or the worst: they are interested in other benefits they could get from you (meaning in financial topics). Sex is not an expression of love for men and it is not even that intimate as it is for a woman. That's why we always have to think first what it means for us and not "go with the flow"..
Well, it is definitely a red flag if this is the only topic they talk about and push you to talk about.🤷♀️
i say gently “i am really into you and i think you are so attractive, but this (sex) right away is not my style” then smile! it does not have to be aggressive approach
It is usually easier to find that out by not allowing them to talk you into it when your values are not aligned with it or if you’re not comfortable with it. How they handle not getting what they want quickly will tell you everything you need to know. I personally don’t want that kind of pressure on me tho. To have to keep correcting a guy who refuses to stop pushing at me to give in. I consider that disrespect and disregarding my wishes which leads me to a hard no about any more dates with them. If they aren’t capable of putting lust on the shelf for awhile, or controlling their urges or stuck on always getting instant gratification, or can’t handle not getting what they want….I don’t want them.
Hey Matt,first date went really well
I have a problem he called this morning to ask me to his house,do you feel that's right at all.He wants to see me but this time in his house.i refused already I just want to know if its right.i hope I get a response
Don't go!
No way!
No way!
No way he wants to try to have sex with you. Way too fast.
Brilliant 🎉
😊 So good