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Gary is generally speaking real truth and I agree with most of what he says. There’s always exceptions to the rules and each marriage is it’s own case such as mental illness which is really hard to live with if the spouse who’s mentally ill doesn’t wana help themselves and is only destroying the whole household/family.
He thinks he is so much more emotionally intelligent than her and he has it sooooo wrong. There is also an under the surface aggression I get from him. He definitely thinks he is the smartest person in every room. I feel she will continue to evolve and he will get left behind.
Why is all I hear a grumpy old man talking? I thought Gary was much more than that. The way he's stuck in his own beliefs is sad. And to say that divorce is not good for kids, like he's never heard of abusive situations? I honestly think he did this on purpose. He wanted it to be a controversial conversation because the things he said are just nonsense. Valeria, as always, elegant and patient, thriving in her 30's. Girl, teach us on how you do it.
Gary’s take on sensuality , foreplay, sex in general - is wildly gross. I’m so glad my husband was so completely into pleasing me and put it as top priority in our marriage/ sex life … I didn’t know men even thought like Gary anymore. YIKES. Nooooo thank you .
My humor. Gary outlines in length one should never divorce, try EVERYTHING to safe the marriage. But isn't even willing to have 30 minutes foreplay?! Don't start when it is too late. Even if she asked for tickling with a feather (which she didn't)- she didn't ask for doing a long in depth psychotherapy, although the latter would be very helpful for you, and for her. "You are a nice person", says the 10 year old boy to the much more mature older aunt😮. I guess it becomes obvious why 38 year old Gary was single back than and not taken by any 38 old woman. I am 26 and find him like boys I dated at 16🙈. I cannot imagine how I'd perceive him in another 10 years if he doesn't move a single step forward. No wonder he doesn't like Valeria exchange with friends about him. Another red flag for men who want the full control.
This is spot on. He’s suffocating and one dimensional. Not to mention his business failed and she’s the primary breadwinner. Hopefully she got a pre nup
Woooow... The amount of triggering comments by Gary in this conversation... 🤯 Especially in the last part about the "workshop with the feather" you can see how stuck he is in his beliefs and isn't even listening to Valeria, just like she mentioned, he was starting to contradicting himself instead of making an effort to try and better understand women and their sensuality..... Applause to Valeria for her patience 👏👏👏👏 Hope you'll teach Gary many more new things!
I think Gary has interesting controversial opinions but he always says his opinions in a way that they sound like facts. And these ,,facts" are said like he is talking you down instead of with u. I never feel like he is trying to understand your point. More like u have to give in. He has the intention of a teacher but says things like a preacher.
It’s a delicate dance to be wise, hardworking, and emotionally regulated without coming of as righteous. I personally appreciate straightforwardness and not beating things around the bush much more than someone that doesn’t stand for anything. I see your perspective but different dynamics aren’t necessary wrong. Additionally, my thoughts are that Valeria’s introspection and her skill of bringing depths and nuance to the conversation is an addition to them both as a whole. On the same token, his devotion to the family unit leaves room for emotional exploration even if it doesn’t appear like it..
Yes, it feels like there's no room for others perspectives or ways of living. I wouldn't say this to someone who experiences abuse in any way, it's just not the best for their mental health and the conception of love and self-love for the kids.
I feel the same way most of the times when I watch them. And then I remind myself that them two know best how the dynamic goes. The problem I see in the comments is with extremists. Calling Gary abusive, and I fell in that trap too. I think he has these Alpha male tendencies, I see them in my current partner and I remeber my ex used to do them as well, trying to be a tad controlling or thinking he can do some things better because he's a man. I always put him back in his place and remind him I am perfectly fine on my own and he should keep that crap to himself. He usually mumbels something in disagreement but there's nothing he can do. So I think the problem is not with these outburst, but if he's willing to correct them when their partner signals to them they're not ok. Gary seems willing to work through stuff, he will be putting on some resistance, I think it's normal and human, but if he corrects his behaviour for Valeria that's what matters
The comment that I am concerned about is Gary saying he's still in love with Valeria and has stayed in love because she looks the same... 😑 If she gained weight, lost her hair, teeth, etc. would he still feel the same? No one knows.
I’m only about halfway through but to make a blanket statement about kids being better off without divorce is sorely lacking the mention of abuse which is so much more common than people think. It is not healthy for kids to grow up witnessing abuse and I wish that this had come up in this conversation
I agree, that also includes emotional abuse. Sure it’s best for parents to stay together IF THEY HAVE A GOOD MARRIAGE. If someone is physically abusive please get out and get somewhere safe. If it’s emotional abuse, seek therapy prior to walking away. Love is not a feeling, it’s an action and that action requires work, hard work and it never ends, you never arrive in marriage, people change and therefore we should grow together so that a partner doesn’t get left behind.
jesus. I really want to keep liking Gary and respecting him. I really do. He's an incredible father and husband. But oh my god...he clearly thinks women should like whatever the man wants in bed and anything outside of that is stupid. Who cares if what gets your partner involves feathers or whatever. seriously, who cares. like you're so busy and important that you can't do that for your partner. what a joke.
Life is not so black and white, my friend. Be a little more open minded and, please, let your wife finish her sentences… even if you know everything, be chill and stay humble
I've realized that there's always a way to solve problems. Five years ago, my wife and I were almost getting divorced because we had problems in our marriage, but we managed to sort things out. It was a difficult time, but we got through it.
I really want to be happy too. I'm in a relationship, and even though we're apart now, I can't think of life without her; my love for her is big. I really miss her, and I'm determined to bring her back. We've tried different ways, like therapy, to fix things.
Releasing the grip on someone dear is always tough, but in my scenario, I was fortunate to have the counsel of a spiritual guide who preserved my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
Your guidance is valued. I'll immediately seek her out online. Appreciate it. I'm hopeful that implementing this method will also bring me success; I miss her dearly.
From outside looking in again I am not in this family 24/7 but being an observant person and have been right many times. I think it’s accurate to say Valeria’s emotional needs are not being met to the extent she would like them too. Financially and other aspects are being met but it locks emotional aspect. Not going to provide examples as we are on public forum but they know it best themselves alone. Never late to work on what your partner needs emotionally. You can be a great intellect, wise , smart etc.. but never neglect what your partner’s emotional needs are because neglect one or more times leads to divorce.
Gary is right. Men don't talk to their friends about their marriages. You know who they do talk to? Other women. And a lot of the time, those intimate conversations lead to infidelity.
I really don’t like Gary :/ Based on just Valeria’s essence I always imagined him very different from how he is presenting here. At the same time Valeria is so patient and gracious here, it’s almost unbelievable. But the alarm inside goes off more with every minute. Gary sounds almost a bit red-pill, especially with all the evolutionary evidence that is just flat out wrong…
As a child of divorce, I never believed in marriage, but seeing both my parents fall in love again with new people and get married in the middle of their lives… nothing can beat that. Nothing beats seeing my parents find happiness and love, even if not with each other. They are better people for it. I understand everyone has different experiences and beliefs around this, but I think divorce was the best thing they did for each other and their children. I love my step-parents and feel blessed to have watched love thrive in their lives
I liked Gary until this episode 😅 he’s really not trying to get it and has a very simplistic view… if ppl would get along, they wouldn’t need to divorce, if both putting the work was an option, they wouldn’t get a divorce… it’s mostly because one partner (very often the man) doesn’t want to put the work, thinks his wife is nagging and complaining whenever she brings up things that she misses or ideas to improve their relationship 😅
Biologically, women are not programmed to raise children alone, neither to hunt/work AND raise children. We are social species and roles were - as we know - defined. We were living all together and there were a lot of help in these communities which we lost a lot since individuality and “I do/can do everything (especially raising children) by myself” are proned. I just want to say too that we do not have a clear image of how our ancestors were living. We recently found that women were also hunters (more chance to get food). We are not sure too that there were no matriarchal societies or if the more patriarchal ones were really working (aka women were suffering from the situation).
Valeria the more I watch this the more I sense a disconnect between the two of you. I see the pain in your eyes. I sense he is defensive and shuts you down at times when you bring up fair points and it’s honestly triggering and hard to watch so I don’t think I will watch the rest. But I am a huge fan of you ily ❤
Agreed. I had to leave out of respect for her when he became angry that he can't come first and has zero regard for her pleasure. What are earth are they doing for all these years. Poor woman.
I enjoyed hearing different perspectives on this podcast. However, as the daughter of two parents who are still together because of marriage but are not a couple, I can say that this is MUCH more harmful than beneficial. You cannot fake or force love. I believe that the core of marriage is being a couple, being a team, and working for the good of both partners + family. However, when this is lost-whether due to abuse, infidelity, or simply because one of them no longer wants to continue and it's not putting the effort -I think they should no longer remain married. On the contrary, I believe this greatly affects children's perspectives on love and what marriage should be. Growing up with parents who don't love each other or disrespect each other but stay together because they think *they should* and that's how's supposed to be, has been much more damaging than if they were separated but maintained respect. At the end of the day, they can be separated parents but still look out for their children's well-being.
Couldn’t agree more. How many times did I wish my parents got divorced but they never did. That really affected my view of relationships and led to me having to figure out by myself what a healthy marriage and relationship looks like as it was never modeled to me
I agree with you! But in my opinion, Gary kinda wanted to say something else! So many couples these days get bored really fast and want to end the relationship. Like he said, repeating the same thing on the next relationship, but staying because they dont want another divorce. I understand his ideas. Couples who really respect and apreciate is so rare these days
One of the reasons for divorce is sex, and it makes sense! If men aged 50 have no idea that the porn industry (billion dollar industry, so don't worry, your needs are not forgotten by society) focuses 98% on pleasuring men and there has never been any talks about how to pleasure women than that makes complete sense. He even laughs about it. When my partner and I made a priority to focus on me first, guess who became the one initiating it? I am the one. And once you're turned on, you bet his needs are taken care of. Isn't this kind of logical? Also his views on divorce are black and white. People definitely divorce too quickly and don't try to fix things, I agree with that. However not everyone wants to work on themselves, that's the reality. My parents are divorced and I did suffer because of it, however I'm so grateful for not growing up in a household where I though a shitty or cold relationship is normal. My husband grew up without a father. Yet, we're together for 15 years and show an immense amount of affections for each other, because we didn't learn to just settle for the status quo. I have friends that grew up with parents that were together but one of them was always unhappy, and they have the same relationship now. So, it's not all black and white.
Hello Valeria! My condolences to you and Gary on the loss of his Mother. You guys have great communication, love and respect for each other. You both are so fortunate to have each other! Love you so much Valeria! Love, Janice and Larry Watson. Pittsburgh PA. USA
Gosh, Gary is unbearable. Valeria looks annoyed and resentful, while still being graceful and much wiser and more mature than an 18 year older man child. Also the time stamps are all wrong.
Gary is guided by his childhood experience and agency of trauma in this matter. And basically, he is afraid that little Gary, the inner child, will once again find himself in a situation of his parents' divorce, where he has to take care of his mom and carry an exorbitant burden. Because it hasn't been worked through (as we see in the situation where Valerie offers her support on the journey of loss, and Harry says what loss? it's okay). That's why he is so adamantly against divorce, doesn't have the power to be flexible in his thinking here and can't accept that there are different reasons to get divorced, like you got married very young, or just your views have changed even just because of mental maturation. In general two adults do not die if they end their union. I think that's important to understand. And to question and criticize the idea of why a breakup is seen as so fatal and destructive. Again, it is fatal to the child. It's not for an adult. Going back to the beginning of my post, that's why it seems fatal to harry, because he sees the marriage from the point of view of his little self.
I agree with the comments below that Gary generalized that married couples mostly divorce because of infidelity or loosing a spark, but in my household my father was constantly hitting my mom, and she would stay with him because her parents and friends say same thing Gary says “As long as you save the family and kids have a father everything else you should just posh through” And because of seeing a constant physical and emotional abuse towards my mom, I literally was wishing him death every day and having him in our lives made my childhood beyond miserable
Valeria you hit the nail on the head. People have too many options and people have become more selfish. They see others on social media having a “perfect” life and people share everything on socials and others start comparing themselves. We are operating based on a transactional basis. It’s no longer let’s get married young and work towards building a life together that we can be proud of it’s what can you do for me and if you don’t do it I’ll find someone else. My grandparents didn’t have a perfect relationship far from it but they stuck it out because they had a bigger picture in mind. We are living in “thank you, next” generation. By the way marriage is never equal and trying to make it so just wastes time, energy and creates bitterness.
My siblings and I will be caring for our parents when the time comes. Not because we have to but because we want to. We come from a Polynesian background and I feel like it’s normal for elders to live with families until the end. And in the end they are buried in the land where family lives. It’s a way of life for us, never a burden but a honor to have the ability to do so. ❤
Saying divorce is always wrong also implies that we as humans never have a lapse in judgement. People marry people that they shouldn’t have married and we used to live in a world where they were pretty much forced to live in that mistake. You two got married after months of knowing each other which basically means you got lucky because as you said, people that have known each other for years before they get married find things out about the person too late. I say this as someone who is happily married for ten years and I honestly believe that we just got lucky when I look at relationships around me.
I do think that Gary’s opinions as far as subjects like couples and relationships etc are very much based and coming from his own feelings and personal experiences towards the love he has for you Valeria. Like of course kids would be best if they grew up in loving homes with both parents, but you can have sooo many reasons to exit a marriage, it’s not based on minor inconveniences. Financial struggles, raising kids in todays societies, unhappy work lives, not making enough to go on holidays or date nights, mortgages, school problems, kids born with abnormalities, serious hardships, or even as simple as changing and falling out of love!!! Like the list is endless and people might not always manage to overcome these hardships. Marriage counselling is very much needed but not everyone might be able to afford it and as Gary said both need to WANT TO PUT THE EFFORT IN! Even though sometimes the effort could be placed and the divorce could still be the outcome. And I do feel that Gary’s opinions sometimes are, from his own generation, a little more rigid… some stuff and the way Gary sees things are ingrained of course, from his own upbringing and going back to where we came from and what was stuck within us, is very important to understand, as Valeria said, so we can deal with todays struggles. But a lot of the time the love he has for Valeria is so great that just by talking about it (divorce) you sense he can’t handle it, and it’s more so based on how he feels, what he would do, how he reacts, (even though some of his stuff is right) yet the opinion is quite “strict” and “simplistic” without being open to exploring the vast issues emotionally, mentally and physically that are at play, in marriages today.
Interesting conversation! My opinion is closely aligned with Valeria’s. There are so many grey areas in life. ❤ One thing I really believe in is personal responsibility. At the end of the day we are capable of listening to our conscience and making the right decisions. ❤ Adding: Gary said it would be better if his parents had stayed together, but he added if they got along….that’s the reason they divorced. It sounds as though it was an unhappy situation. I don’t think that would have been better.
Gary should try this book “INFERIOR: THE TRUE POWER OF WOMEN AND THE SCIENCE THAT SHOWS IT (ENGLISH EDITION)” to undestand more about you perspective as a woman
He likes the "secrecy of marriage" because he doesn't want other people to know about the bad things he does to her wife. He wants the wife to keep silent and not tell anyone so he can keep doing it without anyone telling the wife that it's wrong and he shouldn't accept it
It's so beautiful to see you authentically communicate. You have such a good ability to lead crucial conversations. I think Gary is also shifting in his self concept. It's a journey and thank you so much for this potcast. ❤️🙏
lol he keeps saying “man” but can’t say “women” and says “females” instead. Even on subconscious level, he disrespects women, it’s just pathetic and so obvious
From what I am hearing Gary's opinion on the tpics duscussed here is a little outaded, maybe because he is coming from a different generation, anyways I agree with Valeria when she was opposing him.
You went way too long to discuss, aka Gary had too much air time to advocate why the divorce is not acceptable where there are legitimate reasons why it is a MUST in abusive situations (Valeria you didn't finish that argument but you allowed him to go on about it). We can all conclude this is less than a minute. There is a spectrum of why and when to divorce. Gary is a very traditional, hard-core man trying to portray himself as someone who understands the essence - he doesn't, you don't. How in the world can you get so childishly defensive to make an effort and be patient to conform to the woman's sexual act. We know Gary what man wants, the whole history, art, and literature are about what MAN WANTS. Every 10-year-old girl knows what men want. Sorry, as I am Gary's age, for me he is full of contradiction.
Personality disorders - divorce is good. I agree with Valeria. Gary has unresolved trauma of having to take care of his Mum. If one person neglects the other and refuses to put in effort then that is not a marriage. Marriage like.
Before I say this I wanna make clear that I really like Gary. To the sexual conversation, if a woman needs 37minutes to get ready and she can’t enjoy it or it might even feel painful, at least she can’t fully enjoy it before, there isn’t really meeting in the middle time wise. If her body can’t do it faster what is she supposed to do about it. How should they meet in the middle? You can’t make your body faster than it is. it’s not about any of the specific practices of course it depends on the individual woman. everything before the 37min (on average)in this example wouldn’t be very enjoyable for the woman. So if you would meet in the middle it would only be enjoyable for the man. That’s not really meeting in the middle, is it? I feel like that shows very clearly the issue of man understanding woman and the change that they are faced with right now. Cause things are changing away from everything being based off the male experience. Wouldn’t it be worth to spend more time to have sex so both enjoy it equally which in the long run is probably gonna lead to more sex wich is gonna benefit both partners, including the man who often want more sex.
Gary needs to perhaps live with other couples or families to see that marriage or divorce in and of themselves do not dictate the health of a family unit. His own experience with his parents getting a divorce influence his understanding of separation and putting undo stress on the offspring. Some families are highly toxic. I work as an educator where I see all kinds of family structures. Some children who see healthy parental partnerships tend to better than those who don't married or divorced. Kids know when a parent is unfaithful, abusive, unkind. I've had students come up to me saying they are disgusted by their parent for creating children outside the marriage. These marriages/ divorces are the hardest as they directly impact the economic stability of the first family. Everything changes with or without divorce. Participation in milestones such as birthdays, concerts and play, sports events, parent teacher night. Inheritance and division of assets and legacy. Nevermind money. Emotional energy, time, and attachment are split. Divorce may not be the answer for some, but it can be a viable resolution based on the two people in it.
I was relieved when my parents got divorced. Even now as an adult i wish they had gotten divorced much earlier. And it wasn’t even like there was heavy abuse happening.
It’s so lovely to hear that Valeria is falling in love with Gary again and Gary seems absolutely ecstatic to hear that. 🎉🎉🎉 You both are adorable. I admire how you both have such understanding and acceptance towards each other and let each other grow, evolve, and be themselves. ❤
the way Gary laughed and kept mocking ‘tickling with feathers’ is how we laugh at the excuse of ‘it’s mens biology to have more than one woman and spread the seed aswell as take them back when they cheat’
One thing that I'm seeing in that "single mother in marriage" sphere, is that women are being very influenced as well as educated about what children need around diet, screen exposure, outdoor time, etc. and the fathers may not have the interest or bandwidth to research all of that, and so it creates a divide between a father who is still stuck in how he is raised and a mother who is hyper-focused on meeting expectations that they've acquired through parent influencers, psychologists, etc.
My husband of 24 years passed away unexpectedly just a few weeks ago while he was on a month long work trip several states away. We raised four beautiful children into adulthood together. Life is fragile . Sending my love to both of you and healing energy with the recent losses you’ve suffered.
Valeria you are so wise honestly! A beautiful woman inside and out, thank you for this amazing conversation with Gary. A lot of things to think about ❤
I’m so glad we still have men like Gary with his opinions regarding marriage and divorce! I agree with him! Both partners have to put in the effort into the marriage period. If one of the partners stop trying, then (behavior is a language) they’re trying to tell you that they don’t want to be married to you. So obviously you can’t control someone else, you are going to leave because you can’t force someone to want to be married to you.
This conversation on marriage lacks God. He created marriage. God bless your family and I truly hope you stay together and find everlasting life in Jesus Christ.
It feels like y'all (Valeria and Gary) don't really understand each other's opinions..y'all are both right in some ways, but the ideas don't feel fully developed or a bit dated For example at the end about wives shouldn't complain to their friends about their husbands... Some women do complain to complain and not for good reasons. Some women "complain" to their friends about it, because ultimately we seek help from each other. It can be done in a healthy way in which a support system functions well. The wife doesn't have to go into detail about the problems either. However, a wife shouldn't have to do this. She should be able to speak with her husband and learn to develop her thoughts with him. The husband should be the support and I think that a husband and wife should be able to develop ideas together even if some mistakes happen. A couple should have a willingness to work through the problems... maybe this is a bit too idealistic. The contrast of this of wives complaining is of a guy who doesn't talk. On one end, silence, on the other, too much speculation.
I agree with Gary a lot. Also, my fiance is the same way when we talk about relationships and divorce... he thinks a divorce is never even an option, unless of course it's because someone did something really horrible and deceiving to another person, but he in general doesn't like the concept of divorce mainly because of the same thing Gary said, people give up too easily whenever a small problem occurs... but yeah, I'm somewhere in the middle with this, sometimes people just fall out of love I guess. Each relationship and marriage is diffent anyways, so we can't always generalize like this. I do respect my partner and I'm always going to be willing to try to resolve problems instead of running away from them. :) For me marriage is sacred too and my soon to be husband made me realize that to the full extent. Loved the conversation!
Society has evolved faster than human physiology - we evolve very slowly. That's why there's conflict between our human nature and societal expectations, and we need to be aware that our human brains are not caught up to where society, culture, and technology are.
if you believe a father is needed in the house. Then he can't spead his seed everywhere. Because you can't be present in 10 houses. I also think having multiple children is a disservice to the children. If you choose to have children have ones you can take care emotionally.
Man. Praying for Valeria. The sex convo was PAINFUL. Poor woman. He really fancies himself a catch enough to not have to please the woman he "loves". Poor woman.
The difference between animals and humans is that humans have the ability to go beyond their nature by free will. Free will is the choice what to do with it. To choose unity and love or to choose for the self alone ( our ego)
My condolences to you Gary ❤ I really admire your resilience through such a difficult time. I could only dream of coping with such a significant loss this way. Wishing you all the best 🙏
I don't agree with gary- but coming from a complicated family, on multiple sides of ww2, i can respect how much historical and socio/cultural aspects come into his mindset. It is obvious he has an 'old world' mindset with a 'new world' brain. May not work for all, but so long as it works for you... my mom told me, when i had issues with her relationship with my dad, it is my relationship, my marriage. If i am happy and he is happy, why does your ideal matter for us?
My husband is also the son of a Holocaust survivor. Reading “Children of the Holocaust” by Helen Epstein helped me (and helped him) understand his worldview and psychology. It could be a helpful book for you both as well. It’s impossible to completely understand our husbands and the generational trauma they hold, but this book really helped me begin to empathize on a deeper, more profound level.
Do you agree with me or with Gary? Let me know in the comments 👀
If you enjoyed this episode, please like this video and subscribe to my channel for more Not Alone! Your support means the world to me 🫶 Thank you!
You, totally.
Gary 100%
Gary is generally speaking real truth and I agree with most of what he says. There’s always exceptions to the rules and each marriage is it’s own case such as mental illness which is really hard to live with if the spouse who’s mentally ill doesn’t wana help themselves and is only destroying the whole household/family.
@@mashtires1848 This is perfectly said. 💯👌🏼 1000% agree.
I agree with both of you and I can relate to each one of you. I think that's great!
He thinks he is so much more emotionally intelligent than her and he has it sooooo wrong.
There is also an under the surface aggression I get from him.
He definitely thinks he is the smartest person in every room.
I feel she will continue to evolve and he will get left behind.
Her patience is so admirable …..as quite a few times I’ve shouted ‘oh shut the fu** up’ 😅
100%
Why is all I hear a grumpy old man talking? I thought Gary was much more than that. The way he's stuck in his own beliefs is sad. And to say that divorce is not good for kids, like he's never heard of abusive situations? I honestly think he did this on purpose. He wanted it to be a controversial conversation because the things he said are just nonsense. Valeria, as always, elegant and patient, thriving in her 30's. Girl, teach us on how you do it.
Every child deserves to be with their parents who are you antichrist?
Gary’s take on sensuality , foreplay, sex in general - is wildly gross. I’m so glad my husband was so completely into pleasing me and put it as top priority in our marriage/ sex life … I didn’t know men even thought like Gary anymore. YIKES. Nooooo thank you .
My humor. Gary outlines in length one should never divorce, try EVERYTHING to safe the marriage. But isn't even willing to have 30 minutes foreplay?! Don't start when it is too late. Even if she asked for tickling with a feather (which she didn't)- she didn't ask for doing a long in depth psychotherapy, although the latter would be very helpful for you, and for her. "You are a nice person", says the 10 year old boy to the much more mature older aunt😮. I guess it becomes obvious why 38 year old Gary was single back than and not taken by any 38 old woman. I am 26 and find him like boys I dated at 16🙈. I cannot imagine how I'd perceive him in another 10 years if he doesn't move a single step forward. No wonder he doesn't like Valeria exchange with friends about him. Another red flag for men who want the full control.
This is spot on. He’s suffocating and one dimensional. Not to mention his business failed and she’s the primary breadwinner. Hopefully she got a pre nup
He also gives off closet vibes
Woooow... The amount of triggering comments by Gary in this conversation... 🤯 Especially in the last part about the "workshop with the feather" you can see how stuck he is in his beliefs and isn't even listening to Valeria, just like she mentioned, he was starting to contradicting himself instead of making an effort to try and better understand women and their sensuality..... Applause to Valeria for her patience 👏👏👏👏 Hope you'll teach Gary many more new things!
I think Gary has interesting controversial opinions but he always says his opinions in a way that they sound like facts. And these ,,facts" are said like he is talking you down instead of with u. I never feel like he is trying to understand your point. More like u have to give in.
He has the intention of a teacher but says things like a preacher.
It’s a delicate dance to be wise, hardworking, and emotionally regulated without coming of as righteous. I personally appreciate straightforwardness and not beating things around the bush much more than someone that doesn’t stand for anything. I see your perspective but different dynamics aren’t necessary wrong. Additionally, my thoughts are that Valeria’s introspection and her skill of bringing depths and nuance to the conversation is an addition to them both as a whole. On the same token, his devotion to the family unit leaves room for emotional exploration even if it doesn’t appear like it..
Yes, it feels like there's no room for others perspectives or ways of living. I wouldn't say this to someone who experiences abuse in any way, it's just not the best for their mental health and the conception of love and self-love for the kids.
Completly agree!
Daddy daughter
I feel the same way most of the times when I watch them. And then I remind myself that them two know best how the dynamic goes.
The problem I see in the comments is with extremists. Calling Gary abusive, and I fell in that trap too.
I think he has these Alpha male tendencies, I see them in my current partner and I remeber my ex used to do them as well, trying to be a tad controlling or thinking he can do some things better because he's a man. I always put him back in his place and remind him I am perfectly fine on my own and he should keep that crap to himself.
He usually mumbels something in disagreement but there's nothing he can do.
So I think the problem is not with these outburst, but if he's willing to correct them when their partner signals to them they're not ok.
Gary seems willing to work through stuff, he will be putting on some resistance, I think it's normal and human, but if he corrects his behaviour for Valeria that's what matters
The comment that I am concerned about is Gary saying he's still in love with Valeria and has stayed in love because she looks the same... 😑 If she gained weight, lost her hair, teeth, etc. would he still feel the same? No one knows.
When men marry 18yr olds it's for one reason - looks
She’s so much more aware/evolved and his way of dealing with it is being defensive and condescending
That's a lot of men for you. Women are much more emotionally mature in general because we aren't taught to suppress our emotions.
Yes i feel bad. Its like she needs to take care of another boy.
I’m only about halfway through but to make a blanket statement about kids being better off without divorce is sorely lacking the mention of abuse which is so much more common than people think. It is not healthy for kids to grow up witnessing abuse and I wish that this had come up in this conversation
Or even just unhappiness!
The statistics back up that it's actually better for children to have divorced parents than unhappy co-habiting parents.
I agree, that also includes emotional abuse. Sure it’s best for parents to stay together IF THEY HAVE A GOOD MARRIAGE. If someone is physically abusive please get out and get somewhere safe. If it’s emotional abuse, seek therapy prior to walking away. Love is not a feeling, it’s an action and that action requires work, hard work and it never ends, you never arrive in marriage, people change and therefore we should grow together so that a partner doesn’t get left behind.
He seems to be a covert narcissist ! Manipulating his conversations to his advantage always !!!
I feel sorry for Valeria for tolerating this man, he is such a stereotypical grandfather
It was a hard watch. All I see is insecure man
Valeria, the patience, grace and love you show is so admirable. You beautiful soul!
🫶🏻🥹 thank you love
jesus. I really want to keep liking Gary and respecting him. I really do. He's an incredible father and husband. But oh my god...he clearly thinks women should like whatever the man wants in bed and anything outside of that is stupid. Who cares if what gets your partner involves feathers or whatever. seriously, who cares. like you're so busy and important that you can't do that for your partner. what a joke.
god your husband is so closed minded it's painful.
Life is not so black and white, my friend. Be a little more open minded and, please, let your wife finish her sentences… even if you know everything, be chill and stay humble
jeez, this wasn't nice! You clearly outgrew this 'alpha male'.
I've realized that there's always a way to solve problems. Five years ago, my wife and I were almost getting divorced because we had problems in our marriage, but we managed to sort things out. It was a difficult time, but we got through it.
I really want to be happy too. I'm in a relationship, and even though we're apart now, I can't think of life without her; my love for her is big. I really miss her, and I'm determined to bring her back. We've tried different ways, like therapy, to fix things.
Releasing the grip on someone dear is always tough, but in my scenario, I was fortunate to have the counsel of a spiritual guide who preserved my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
Your guidance is valued. I'll immediately seek her out online. Appreciate it. I'm hopeful that implementing this method will also bring me success; I miss her dearly.
I promise you will not regret it.
From outside looking in again I am not in this family 24/7 but being an observant person and have been right many times. I think it’s accurate to say Valeria’s emotional needs are not being met to the extent she would like them too. Financially and other aspects are being met but it locks emotional aspect. Not going to provide examples as we are on public forum but they know it best themselves alone. Never late to work on what your partner needs emotionally. You can be a great intellect, wise , smart etc.. but never neglect what your partner’s emotional needs are because neglect one or more times leads to divorce.
1000000 percent. Poor woman
@@sarahmarkowitz89 when someone is emotionally empty they are poor inside indeed.
yeah, especially with women. its the leading cause for divorce for women. men not so much if not at all
Gary is right. Men don't talk to their friends about their marriages. You know who they do talk to? Other women. And a lot of the time, those intimate conversations lead to infidelity.
Valeria’s patience is truly outstanding 😞
I can’t think of anything more narcissistic!
💯
I really don’t like Gary :/ Based on just Valeria’s essence I always imagined him very different from how he is presenting here. At the same time Valeria is so patient and gracious here, it’s almost unbelievable. But the alarm inside goes off more with every minute. Gary sounds almost a bit red-pill, especially with all the evolutionary evidence that is just flat out wrong…
What the hell are you doing with gary? He doesn't understand deep feelings and woman in general
As a child of divorce, I never believed in marriage, but seeing both my parents fall in love again with new people and get married in the middle of their lives… nothing can beat that. Nothing beats seeing my parents find happiness and love, even if not with each other. They are better people for it. I understand everyone has different experiences and beliefs around this, but I think divorce was the best thing they did for each other and their children. I love my step-parents and feel blessed to have watched love thrive in their lives
I don’t believe you for one second. No one in that situation has ever said this. Ever.
@@vaportrails7943fr this seems like they say this cause it’s what their parents want to hear
@@vaportrails7943😂 you know her Life & feelings better than her
Well, I totally agree with @manners444
@@vaportrails7943 I'm so sorry you don't believe that what I said is possible... but yeah, it is true lol thats my life, I'd happily answer ur Qs :P
I liked Gary until this episode 😅 he’s really not trying to get it and has a very simplistic view… if ppl would get along, they wouldn’t need to divorce, if both putting the work was an option, they wouldn’t get a divorce… it’s mostly because one partner (very often the man) doesn’t want to put the work, thinks his wife is nagging and complaining whenever she brings up things that she misses or ideas to improve their relationship 😅
Omg why is she with this dude
He is passive aggressive
The way Valeria speaks and explains her points is amazing!!! So respectful but strong...love it!
I was so excited for this one, as I usually look up to your marriage. I was very disappointed by Gary in this one
Biologically, women are not programmed to raise children alone, neither to hunt/work AND raise children. We are social species and roles were - as we know - defined. We were living all together and there were a lot of help in these communities which we lost a lot since individuality and “I do/can do everything (especially raising children) by myself” are proned. I just want to say too that we do not have a clear image of how our ancestors were living. We recently found that women were also hunters (more chance to get food). We are not sure too that there were no matriarchal societies or if the more patriarchal ones were really working (aka women were suffering from the situation).
Valeria the more I watch this the more I sense a disconnect between the two of you. I see the pain in your eyes. I sense he is defensive and shuts you down at times when you bring up fair points and it’s honestly triggering and hard to watch so I don’t think I will watch the rest. But I am a huge fan of you ily ❤
Ur just jealous
AGREE!!! I felt so uncomfortable watching this!
Agreed. I had to leave out of respect for her when he became angry that he can't come first and has zero regard for her pleasure. What are earth are they doing for all these years. Poor woman.
He is such a baby
Girl run
would be nice if you expressed your opinions more...felt like gary interrupted you everytime you disagreed with him
I enjoyed hearing different perspectives on this podcast. However, as the daughter of two parents who are still together because of marriage but are not a couple, I can say that this is MUCH more harmful than beneficial. You cannot fake or force love. I believe that the core of marriage is being a couple, being a team, and working for the good of both partners + family. However, when this is lost-whether due to abuse, infidelity, or simply because one of them no longer wants to continue and it's not putting the effort -I think they should no longer remain married. On the contrary, I believe this greatly affects children's perspectives on love and what marriage should be. Growing up with parents who don't love each other or disrespect each other but stay together because they think *they should* and that's how's supposed to be, has been much more damaging than if they were separated but maintained respect. At the end of the day, they can be separated parents but still look out for their children's well-being.
@@Cocoisagordonsetter
I agree with you!
Couldn’t agree more. How many times did I wish my parents got divorced but they never did. That really affected my view of relationships and led to me having to figure out by myself what a healthy marriage and relationship looks like as it was never modeled to me
I agree with you! But in my opinion, Gary kinda wanted to say something else! So many couples these days get bored really fast and want to end the relationship. Like he said, repeating the same thing on the next relationship, but staying because they dont want another divorce. I understand his ideas. Couples who really respect and apreciate is so rare these days
This man just doesn’t listen
One of the reasons for divorce is sex, and it makes sense! If men aged 50 have no idea that the porn industry (billion dollar industry, so don't worry, your needs are not forgotten by society) focuses 98% on pleasuring men and there has never been any talks about how to pleasure women than that makes complete sense. He even laughs about it. When my partner and I made a priority to focus on me first, guess who became the one initiating it? I am the one. And once you're turned on, you bet his needs are taken care of. Isn't this kind of logical?
Also his views on divorce are black and white. People definitely divorce too quickly and don't try to fix things, I agree with that. However not everyone wants to work on themselves, that's the reality. My parents are divorced and I did suffer because of it, however I'm so grateful for not growing up in a household where I though a shitty or cold relationship is normal. My husband grew up without a father. Yet, we're together for 15 years and show an immense amount of affections for each other, because we didn't learn to just settle for the status quo. I have friends that grew up with parents that were together but one of them was always unhappy, and they have the same relationship now. So, it's not all black and white.
Gary, sorry to hear about your mom. ❤
🙏🏻❤️
@@ValeriaLipovetsky i'm start crying with you 😢😓💔
Love you both but also there are a lot of monogamous animals :)
Hello Valeria! My condolences to you and Gary on the loss of his Mother. You guys have great communication, love and respect for each other. You both are so fortunate to have each other! Love you so much Valeria! Love, Janice and Larry Watson. Pittsburgh PA. USA
Thank you my dears ❤️🙏🏻 sending love!
❤
Gosh, Gary is unbearable. Valeria looks annoyed and resentful, while still being graceful and much wiser and more mature than an 18 year older man child.
Also the time stamps are all wrong.
Stop projecting your own sad life onto others.
Gary is guided by his childhood experience and agency of trauma in this matter. And basically, he is afraid that little Gary, the inner child, will once again find himself in a situation of his parents' divorce, where he has to take care of his mom and carry an exorbitant burden. Because it hasn't been worked through (as we see in the situation where Valerie offers her support on the journey of loss, and Harry says what loss? it's okay). That's why he is so adamantly against divorce, doesn't have the power to be flexible in his thinking here and can't accept that there are different reasons to get divorced, like you got married very young, or just your views have changed even just because of mental maturation. In general two adults do not die if they end their union. I think that's important to understand. And to question and criticize the idea of why a breakup is seen as so fatal and destructive. Again, it is fatal to the child. It's not for an adult. Going back to the beginning of my post, that's why it seems fatal to harry, because he sees the marriage from the point of view of his little self.
You sound ridicules.
Makes perfect sense
I agree with the comments below that Gary generalized that married couples mostly divorce because of infidelity or loosing a spark, but in my household my father was constantly hitting my mom, and she would stay with him because her parents and friends say same thing Gary says “As long as you save the family and kids have a father everything else you should just posh through” And because of seeing a constant physical and emotional abuse towards my mom, I literally was wishing him death every day and having him in our lives made my childhood beyond miserable
❤great show
Valeria you hit the nail on the head. People have too many options and people have become more selfish. They see others on social media having a “perfect” life and people share everything on socials and others start comparing themselves. We are operating based on a transactional basis. It’s no longer let’s get married young and work towards building a life together that we can be proud of it’s what can you do for me and if you don’t do it I’ll find someone else. My grandparents didn’t have a perfect relationship far from it but they stuck it out because they had a bigger picture in mind. We are living in “thank you, next” generation. By the way marriage is never equal and trying to make it so just wastes time, energy and creates bitterness.
Jordan Peterson has entered the chat 😂
My siblings and I will be caring for our parents when the time comes. Not because we have to but because we want to. We come from a Polynesian background and I feel like it’s normal for elders to live with families until the end. And in the end they are buried in the land where family lives. It’s a way of life for us, never a burden but a honor to have the ability to do so. ❤
Red cardigan is amazing on you ❤
Thank you ❤
Valeria married Gary cuz of trauma, her parents struggled with money, so she never ever wanted to be in that kind of situation.
Saying divorce is always wrong also implies that we as humans never have a lapse in judgement. People marry people that they shouldn’t have married and we used to live in a world where they were pretty much forced to live in that mistake. You two got married after months of knowing each other which basically means you got lucky because as you said, people that have known each other for years before they get married find things out about the person too late. I say this as someone who is happily married for ten years and I honestly believe that we just got lucky when I look at relationships around me.
Love you both ❤ I have to say though sometimes Gary has too much pride and is very black and white. The world is not black and white.
I do think that Gary’s opinions as far as subjects like couples and relationships etc are very much based and coming from his own feelings and personal experiences towards the love he has for you Valeria. Like of course kids would be best if they grew up in loving homes with both parents, but you can have sooo many reasons to exit a marriage, it’s not based on minor inconveniences. Financial struggles, raising kids in todays societies, unhappy work lives, not making enough to go on holidays or date nights, mortgages, school problems, kids born with abnormalities, serious hardships, or even as simple as changing and falling out of love!!! Like the list is endless and people might not always manage to overcome these hardships. Marriage counselling is very much needed but not everyone might be able to afford it and as Gary said both need to WANT TO PUT THE EFFORT IN! Even though sometimes the effort could be placed and the divorce could still be the outcome. And I do feel that Gary’s opinions sometimes are, from his own generation, a little more rigid… some stuff and the way Gary sees things are ingrained of course, from his own upbringing and going back to where we came from and what was stuck within us, is very important to understand, as Valeria said, so we can deal with todays struggles. But a lot of the time the love he has for Valeria is so great that just by talking about it (divorce) you sense he can’t handle it, and it’s more so based on how he feels, what he would do, how he reacts, (even though some of his stuff is right) yet the opinion is quite “strict” and “simplistic” without being open to exploring the vast issues emotionally, mentally and physically that are at play, in marriages today.
Is each reason you listed easier to manage alone?
Interesting conversation! My opinion is closely aligned with Valeria’s. There are so many grey areas in life. ❤ One thing I really believe in is personal responsibility. At the end of the day we are capable of listening to our conscience and making the right decisions. ❤ Adding: Gary said it would be better if his parents had stayed together, but he added if they got along….that’s the reason they divorced. It sounds as though it was an unhappy situation. I don’t think that would have been better.
What up w this dude and a helmet ?
I’m impressed how you, Velaria, are very calm and composed❤
Thank you ❤
Gary should try this book “INFERIOR: THE TRUE POWER OF WOMEN AND THE SCIENCE THAT SHOWS IT (ENGLISH EDITION)” to undestand more about you perspective as a woman
I love how you keep your ground Valeria ....❤❤❤
❤❤
He likes the "secrecy of marriage" because he doesn't want other people to know about the bad things he does to her wife. He wants the wife to keep silent and not tell anyone so he can keep doing it without anyone telling the wife that it's wrong and he shouldn't accept it
Men absolutely talk with eachother regarding their marriage relationships and difficulties. They find good advice in the trusted friends.
It's so beautiful to see you authentically communicate. You have such a good ability to lead crucial conversations. I think Gary is also shifting in his self concept. It's a journey and thank you so much for this potcast. ❤️🙏
🙏🏻 thank you love! I’m glad you’re enjoying the podcast!
lol he keeps saying “man” but can’t say “women” and says “females” instead. Even on subconscious level, he disrespects women, it’s just pathetic and so obvious
Proud of you for transitioning into more personal, substantive content, Valeria! This was excellent. Keep up the good work 😊
From what I am hearing Gary's opinion on the tpics duscussed here is a little outaded, maybe because he is coming from a different generation, anyways I agree with Valeria when she was opposing him.
Especially about the cheating
You went way too long to discuss, aka Gary had too much air time to advocate why the divorce is not acceptable where there are legitimate reasons why it is a MUST in abusive situations (Valeria you didn't finish that argument but you allowed him to go on about it). We can all conclude this is less than a minute. There is a spectrum of why and when to divorce. Gary is a very traditional, hard-core man trying to portray himself as someone who understands the essence - he doesn't, you don't. How in the world can you get so childishly defensive to make an effort and be patient to conform to the woman's sexual act. We know Gary what man wants, the whole history, art, and literature are about what MAN WANTS. Every 10-year-old girl knows what men want. Sorry, as I am Gary's age, for me he is full of contradiction.
Personality disorders - divorce is good. I agree with Valeria. Gary has unresolved trauma of having to take care of his Mum. If one person neglects the other and refuses to put in effort then that is not a marriage. Marriage like.
Before I say this I wanna make clear that I really like Gary.
To the sexual conversation, if a woman needs 37minutes to get ready and she can’t enjoy it or it might even feel painful, at least she can’t fully enjoy it before, there isn’t really meeting in the middle time wise. If her body can’t do it faster what is she supposed to do about it. How should they meet in the middle? You can’t make your body faster than it is. it’s not about any of the specific practices of course it depends on the individual woman. everything before the 37min (on average)in this example wouldn’t be very enjoyable for the woman. So if you would meet in the middle it would only be enjoyable for the man. That’s not really meeting in the middle, is it? I feel like that shows very clearly the issue of man understanding woman and the change that they are faced with right now. Cause things are changing away from everything being based off the male experience.
Wouldn’t it be worth to spend more time to have sex so both enjoy it equally which in the long run is probably gonna lead to more sex wich is gonna benefit both partners, including the man who often want more sex.
I love the way you articulate your thoughts Valeria!! Your authenticity and emotional intelligence is inspiring 🙌
This is a really good episode. I would listen to you and Gary talk all day!
Completely agree.
thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Gary needs to perhaps live with other couples or families to see that marriage or divorce in and of themselves do not dictate the health of a family unit. His own experience with his parents getting a divorce influence his understanding of separation and putting undo stress on the offspring. Some families are highly toxic. I work as an educator where I see all kinds of family structures. Some children who see healthy parental partnerships tend to better than those who don't married or divorced. Kids know when a parent is unfaithful, abusive, unkind. I've had students come up to me saying they are disgusted by their parent for creating children outside the marriage. These marriages/ divorces are the hardest as they directly impact the economic stability of the first family. Everything changes with or without divorce. Participation in milestones such as birthdays, concerts and play, sports events, parent teacher night. Inheritance and division of assets and legacy. Nevermind money. Emotional energy, time, and attachment are split. Divorce may not be the answer for some, but it can be a viable resolution based on the two people in it.
Indeed, he's only talking from his point of view.
I was relieved when my parents got divorced. Even now as an adult i wish they had gotten divorced much earlier. And it wasn’t even like there was heavy abuse happening.
It’s so lovely to hear that Valeria is falling in love with Gary again and Gary seems absolutely ecstatic to hear that. 🎉🎉🎉 You both are adorable. I admire how you both have such understanding and acceptance towards each other and let each other grow, evolve, and be themselves. ❤
You’re so sweet ❤️ thank you!
You’re so sweet ❤ thank you!
the way Gary laughed and kept mocking ‘tickling with feathers’ is how we laugh at the excuse of ‘it’s mens biology to have more than one woman and spread the seed aswell as take them back when they cheat’
One thing that I'm seeing in that "single mother in marriage" sphere, is that women are being very influenced as well as educated about what children need around diet, screen exposure, outdoor time, etc. and the fathers may not have the interest or bandwidth to research all of that, and so it creates a divide between a father who is still stuck in how he is raised and a mother who is hyper-focused on meeting expectations that they've acquired through parent influencers, psychologists, etc.
Yeah such an important observation
I think you should have Esther Perel on your podcast ❤
My husband of 24 years passed away unexpectedly just a few weeks ago while he was on a month long work trip several states away. We raised four beautiful children into adulthood together. Life is fragile . Sending my love to both of you and healing energy with the recent losses you’ve suffered.
My condolences, Carol 😞
@@HelenGelen_ thank you Helen
Valeria I appreciate you more hearing this Podcast. It resonates how you manage emotions. Sigh. Virgo Heart is tired 🫠
Valeria you are so wise honestly! A beautiful woman inside and out, thank you for this amazing conversation with Gary. A lot of things to think about ❤
Thank you so much 🙏🏻❤️
I’m so glad we still have men like Gary with his opinions regarding marriage and divorce! I agree with him! Both partners have to put in the effort into the marriage period. If one of the partners stop trying, then (behavior is a language) they’re trying to tell you that they don’t want to be married to you. So obviously you can’t control someone else, you are going to leave because you can’t force someone to want to be married to you.
All these medically-educated-phd-holding-alpha men spreading their high-value seeds 😂 😂😂
This conversation on marriage lacks God. He created marriage. God bless your family and I truly hope you stay together and find everlasting life in Jesus Christ.
Men and Woman are so different and men will never understand. Valeria wait til after 40 its another phase. Gary needs to be okay with you evolving.
It sounded to my ear as if only men could possibly cheat and kind of even if they do that’s something a couple MUST figure out…
So triggered when talking about woman’s arousal. Valeria thanks but your husband was difficult to listen to
It feels like y'all (Valeria and Gary) don't really understand each other's opinions..y'all are both right in some ways, but the ideas don't feel fully developed or a bit dated
For example at the end about wives shouldn't complain to their friends about their husbands... Some women do complain to complain and not for good reasons. Some women "complain" to their friends about it, because ultimately we seek help from each other. It can be done in a healthy way in which a support system functions well. The wife doesn't have to go into detail about the problems either.
However, a wife shouldn't have to do this. She should be able to speak with her husband and learn to develop her thoughts with him. The husband should be the support and I think that a husband and wife should be able to develop ideas together even if some mistakes happen. A couple should have a willingness to work through the problems... maybe this is a bit too idealistic.
The contrast of this of wives complaining is of a guy who doesn't talk. On one end, silence, on the other, too much speculation.
I agree with Gary a lot. Also, my fiance is the same way when we talk about relationships and divorce... he thinks a divorce is never even an option, unless of course it's because someone did something really horrible and deceiving to another person, but he in general doesn't like the concept of divorce mainly because of the same thing Gary said, people give up too easily whenever a small problem occurs... but yeah, I'm somewhere in the middle with this, sometimes people just fall out of love I guess. Each relationship and marriage is diffent anyways, so we can't always generalize like this. I do respect my partner and I'm always going to be willing to try to resolve problems instead of running away from them. :) For me marriage is sacred too and my soon to be husband made me realize that to the full extent.
Loved the conversation!
"I'm being sensual with my motorcycle?!?" 😂🤣🤣 oh Gary Gary
Gary, listen to your wife and the feather tickling! Happy wife happy life 🎉
I love this side of Valeria❤
Edit: if a guy does not get off on giving you pleasure... Why bother
A man, like a real man in right mind in USA!
Gary you are an endangered kind. Glad to hear you today.
Greetings from Istanbul Turkey☀️
Society has evolved faster than human physiology - we evolve very slowly. That's why there's conflict between our human nature and societal expectations, and we need to be aware that our human brains are not caught up to where society, culture, and technology are.
if you believe a father is needed in the house. Then he can't spead his seed everywhere. Because you can't be present in 10 houses.
I also think having multiple children is a disservice to the children. If you choose to have children have ones you can take care emotionally.
Man. Praying for Valeria. The sex convo was PAINFUL. Poor woman. He really fancies himself a catch enough to not have to please the woman he "loves". Poor woman.
This just sounds like trauma talking from Gary’s childhood…
another thing Gary said that leaves you wondering is. ‘You have to know how to lie’ ‘Don’t tell them the truth’
The difference between animals and humans is that humans have the ability to go beyond their nature by free will.
Free will is the choice what to do with it. To choose unity and love or to choose for the self alone ( our ego)
My condolences to you Gary ❤ I really admire your resilience through such a difficult time. I could only dream of coping with such a significant loss this way. Wishing you all the best 🙏
❤❤
I don't agree with gary- but coming from a complicated family, on multiple sides of ww2, i can respect how much historical and socio/cultural aspects come into his mindset. It is obvious he has an 'old world' mindset with a 'new world' brain. May not work for all, but so long as it works for you... my mom told me, when i had issues with her relationship with my dad, it is my relationship, my marriage. If i am happy and he is happy, why does your ideal matter for us?
My husband is also the son of a Holocaust survivor. Reading “Children of the Holocaust” by Helen Epstein helped me (and helped him) understand his worldview and psychology. It could be a helpful book for you both as well. It’s impossible to completely understand our husbands and the generational trauma they hold, but this book really helped me begin to empathize on a deeper, more profound level.
How gosh,
Hard to hear this man perspective from an energetic sexually blueprint type point of view.
Intentions please.
I agree with Gary! Work it out if at all possible. Divorce is the fastest way to poverty. And it sucks for kids.
Hes a good example of the kind of man who associates his emotions as logic and facts 😅
I love you guys. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable ❤❤❤
Thank you for watching! Sending love❤️