And I feed my plants some healthy fertilizer regularly. The human equivalent may be Whole Foods or feeding my emotional needs with tea, a hot bath or deep breathing.
We also gotta talk about how "self care" got hijacked into part of women's compulsory beautification. Nobody tells men to practice "self care" by slathering their face in anti wrinkle cream.
Nope. I just searched "self care men" on RUclips and there's a bunch of videos with men telling other men how to get glass skin, how to groom, to apply clay masks, Pharrell is on GQ shilling a cream so that men can look "youthful," etc.
I remember when man basic hygiene was a gay thing as a joke (no a funny joke) ppl told me if a man use perfume, brush him hair and took care of him skin wasn't straight bc real man are "masculine" with hair, odor and all whatever that mean, 💀that's say many things, the obsesive pairing in marketing between feminity, make up, health, and I'm not again it bc shouldn't be exclusive for females, that neglect can become in risky health issues.
i'm a nurse in trauma and i have a lot of women who ask me how they look or see themselves in a mirror and say 'god i look awful' to which i usually reply, 'you look like a normal person who's in the hospital. nobody looks amazing here!' i try to be gentle and help them brush their hair and clean up and help them learn to be okay with not looking amazing, because right now they deserve to be forgiving or themselves and willing to be gentle with themselves during the healing process. imo for many patients that is self care--coming to terms with your injury and forgiving yourself for not being able to do everything you used to be able to do. it doesn't mean you can't be frustrated, but it means you shouldn't think of slow progress as 'failure' because in recovery there are only setbacks, not failures.
Self care: 1. Time with family (touching base with a family member) 2. Sleeping in late 3. Going on a long walk 4. Journaling 5. Cooking a nice meal 6. No social media 7. Soothing bath 8. Soft music (Sade, Gospel, classical) Edit: There's no right or wrong answer. This is just what i do. Please do what's best for you :-)
I would change "no social media' to be "carefull with social media" - I subcribe some educational chanells on yt which is more an more often considered as social media
as an autistic person, for me an example of self care is scheduling when i need to run errands, go to appointments, leave the house at all basically, around when transit is going to be quietest, and whether it will be too late for me to take a nap or too early to take the rest of the day off after, because those things are so draining and i really need to rest afterwards.
Yesss I’m ashamed to say it but I fell into that “everything showers” on Sunday trend and it did nothing but stress me out, give me razor bumps and waste hot water. Now I shave and exfoliate when I want and don’t make it this big huge routine. I also don’t make Sundays my big huge reset routine because that stresses me out major. I just wash my sheets, tidy up a little (I clean on Fridays) and do any homework for the week. I’m still learning actual self care and not superficial vain “self-care”. I love beauty but the way everyone sees it now is insanely toxic. Beauty to me is a feeling, like the feeling you get when you see a beautiful flower or bug. So after this video I’m going to redefine my habits and my perceptions so thank you!
don't be ashamed, it's all a part of learning and growing :-) at least now u do what u wanna do, which is the most important thing. ur doing great, keep living life how u want to 🩵
Maybe it sounds like that, to you. For some other people it might be a feeling of recognition and relief that other people see through this bs too. And it's tragically funny to me that you would think the only reason people might not want to lather themselves and the surrounding nature with needles chemicals is envy. But we all have our egos and biases so.
Self care is cooking at home instead of ordering out, self care is going to bed early and not wasting my time on social media, self care is standing up for yourself at work.
Just thought about it some more and i actually think trying out a new recipe or making one of your favorite meals would be my way of calling it self care :)
Not everyone finds cooking stressful. And yes cooking at home knowing what you are putting in your body is self care. Self care is subjective to everyone @@selenadamman8417
Self care for me is getting proper job that doesnt burn me out, proper relationship that lifts me up, investing my money instead of wasting it on products I will throw down the drain
1. Nice hot shower using Dove original body wash 2. Vaseline to moisturize 3. Nice comfy oversized Tshirt and fuzzy socks 4. A good book/movie 5. A good snack 6. Fall asleep when my body tells me to Perfect self care routine for my 🥰
Ehhhh I like.my.oversized pants because I'm pregnant but I'm RIGHT THERE with ya! Also cooking up a delicious dinner and dessert from Starch I can smile at as I eat it cause I know it's healthy and more quality than any restaurant food. It doesn't get fresher then straight from my kitchen cooked to my taste
@@akosua8779 YES! I get enjoyment out of making meals from scratch. It does feel good to know I DID THAT when everyone leaves the table full and happy. Cooking is definitely something I consider self care also……
vaseline isn't a moisturizer lol...petroleum doesn't contain water so therefore it does not moisturize. it creates a layer on your skin to prevent water from leaving..
this video is helping me with my shopping addiction due to depression. I’m trying to unpack this in therapy but this video is exactly how I feel a high & then it goes then i chase the next high because Im truly not satisfied with myself but Im working on being fulfilled outside of what society says is fulfilling.
that must be really tough❤I know I spend too much on beauty stuff when I already had enough and I'm starting to wind it back a bit. I don't need every scent of body butter 🙄
I cannot love this enough! Self care is reading books, spending time alone, journaling, spending quality time with my family, spending lots of time in nature, minding my mental and spiritual health, eating properly for my body and being comfortable in my skin... unshaven legs and all (body hair is NOT a marker of cleanliness, folks are so weird about body hair). Self care is PEACE! When you said something about people lacking identity and thinking they can just buy one... BINGO! I see so many folks with zero personality thinking their things and aesthetics make them interesting. It doesn't.. trends always change.
For me, showering every day and basic dental hygiene is self-care. I'm chronically ill, so maintaining personal hygiene can be very tricky for me. But ever since I started reframing it as self-care and not a mandatory daily necessity, I've actually been able to keep up with it much easier. Being able to see it as something kind I could do for my body helped. And it's a restorative cycle, because maintaining personal hygiene makes me feel good, so my mood is boosted, which helps me deal with said chronic illness. I also don't feel as guilty and ashamed when I *do* miss a day or two. All in all, it's really helped me in being more kind with myself. Anyway, wonderful video as always! I'm not sure if you're taking video suggestions, but you touched upon something in this video that I think would make a good video on its own; the relationship between low self-esteem, trauma, and consumerism. I'm in a few meme groups, and I've noticed a large amount of 'coping memes' end up glamourizing/making light of over-consumption and shopping addiction. For example, stuff like "me going on my third trip to Target this month so I can feel something again" or "healing my inner child by buying her a Barbie Dream House".
Here on RUclips is so many free content from Therapists and healed people to help with working on all these problems. It can be hard or just to expensive to find a therapist and most of the healing work has to be done by the person themselves anyway. It surely helped me to grow and heal. But it's hard work...
Plus, I find it so creepy that those memes were designed and started by Target and Mattel. It seems grassroots. But it’s the most manufactured. Just creepy.
Self care for me is reading a book in the sun, putting on a face mask and call a friend, going on a walk, singing or just play video games for hours without any human interaction. Self care should make you happy not be expensive work on your body to look a certain way.
This takes me back to Parks and Rec when everyone jumped onto the bandwagon of "TREAT YO SELF." While the sentiment is nice, I saw a lot of friends take it to heart and almost go bankrupt because they thought it was self care to spend money they don't have on overpriced luxuries.
Yes the treat YO SELF shouldn't make you broke. I treat myself by buying quality food at the store so I can make.myself.some hyped dinners for the weeks to come.
right! self-care is me paying my student loan and bills, saving money, never putting myself in credit card debt...buying stuff you can't afford is never caring for yourself
Real self care is facing your giants /strongholds and overcoming them to become a new person from the inside which eventually will show up on the outside.
I just recently did this with two people in my life and when I tell you it unlocked something in me I never knew existed. I’ve been flourishing mentally emotionally etc and I am so proud of myself and grateful. I feel good from the inside out . I really took care of my needs
The best thing I did for myself was get rid of social media, I used to be so insecure about face , my teeth and what I look like constantly it was annoying I couldn't enjoy my life cause I was constantly aware of myself (didn't help that I'm in my first year of college where all the pressure is to look like a baddie) and since getting rid of it I can converse with other people and make actual friends and genuinely enjoy our time together cause I'm not focused on upholding this veil of beauty
Self care for me is maintaining a clean and comfortable space, having quiet time to reflect. Self care is being bold enough to reject “standards” and define your life for yourself. A person can have hundreds of dollars in products and still be miserable b/c they are chasing another person’s idea of what is acceptable/beautiful.
Im glad finally some people are starting address how out of hand this is getting with having to buy all these products thats actually not even needed.. Its giving the wrong message especially towards the younger generation we need to go back to basics spend time with family, go for a walk with your dog, read a book etc just my two cents
I also find it really troubling that we turn our relaxation time into more work. I started doing self care two years ago to honor my body and make time for me to relax, reflect, and refresh. But one day I woke up and realized my "self care" had become a list of things i had to do in order to make myself look acceptable to those I wanted to impress. Not only does this make much of this "self care' about pleasing and serving others in the end, but also was just more work for me to do instead of relaxing like it was meant to do. I wonder if this is done in order to keep us in one of the other forms of consumer the poster you noted includes: the worker
As someone who loves skincare, has a simple daily skincare routine, and finds a lot of joy in it, I 100% agree with everything you said. I think skincare and beauty should be reframed as "hobbies". Something that you enjoy doing as a process. Not a necessity. Not something you do to reach an end goal of looking more beautiful. Interestingly things like skincare, beauty and especially fashion, if done right, IS an exercise is self-introspection and analysis. Finding out who you are, what needs do YOU want to fulfil. What does your skin really need? What kinds of clothes best suits your body and represents you as a person. Taking the time to reflect on these questions can help seperate these activities from overconsumption and being influenced by trends. If you know what you want and what works for you, it doesn't matter what is trendy. You can easily reject trends and new products, because they don't serve you.
I love this view of things because you're right! Using your examples, if you're engaging in finding skincare that works for you, you are doing research and learning about different chemicals and processes and that does develop your mind as well! In finding what works for you with clothing, you're looking up maybe what colors match or complement or maybe what looks good with what lighting, enabling you to also engage in art. Fashion, after all, is a form of expression and art!
Audre Lorde wrote about self care in A Burst of Light as a radical response to both a cancer diagnosis and the long-term psychological effects of racism. It used to mean taking care of your heart and body in a way that doesn’t benefit capitalism or shaping yourself for others’ consumption and the “treat yo’self” overconsumption monster it’s morphed into makes me really sad. This was a great video ty!
The thing you said about 90's/00's movies... that makes so much sense. I loved makeovers and shopping sprees and always dreamt about those things. I was bullied so it was my way of escapism and magical thinking that one day I will emerge as this beautiful butterfly and people would finally like me. I still do that and I am a mom in my 30's! Not an example I want to set to my daughter...
Anyone else allergic to this "hand with perfect long nails, covered with a long fuzzy sleeve, nail tapping on every surface and crunching packages for ASMR effect"? There is even a very specific way they pick up or put down items. I always feel super icky when seeing this.
The makeover part in movies I felt was insulting. Now you're worth this man's attention. That's why I liked Ugly Betty. They made us wait for a makeover that never happened.
I used to love the makeover scene from Princess Diaries but now I’m older I realise what an impact it must have had on me and a whole generation of young girls who have curly hair (as well as other features such as braces, etc).
As a mom of two small kids, I do not practice "self care". I am constantly reminding myself to take *care* of myself because it's easy to neglect one's self when you have to take care of small human beings. I do like the self care videos but it's because it reminds me to take care and indulge once in a while. But you're right. My self care is reading personal growth books, books about the gospel, reading sci-fi...taking a shower after a long day, taking walks. Things that help me be better for my children, and that fill my cup. I loved this commentary! I will be subscribing ❤.
I was taught self care in HS by a lady that became almost like a sensei to me. Every lesson was centered around being still, reflecting and internally refilling what was lost or given to people in my world. It wasn't suppose to be "cute", it was meant to make time for yourself to uncover or rediscover or just connect.
Another thing corporations have convinced people is "self care" is overeating junkfood. "I didn't eat an entire box of oreos in one afternoon then fall asleep on the couch from the sugar crash and then wake up groggy and unable to fall asleep the next night because i am addicted to processed food and trapped in an addictive cycle of overconsumption. It was self care."
its literally just consumerism rebranded lol. my self care is a phone call with my bestie, my favorite video game and a bomb nap if your self care costs as much as the average rent, you doin too damn much
I hate that the psychological marketing tactics they use work on us even when we know they are doing it. I'm currently trying to practice self care by cutting down on caffeine so I can get more and better sleep.
Coffein makes me so uncomfortable. It's a highly addictive psychotrophic Substanzen. A LOT of people have trouble sleeping. I am sure there is a link between coffein consumption and sleep problems. And there are so many energy drinks that look so cool and it's so obvious that they are targeting children. In Germany we have 15 ounces / half a Liter cans of Monster Energy Drink. They come in so many flavours and the cans look sooo good. And they are very high on Coffeine. One can is more than what is recommandet for an adult. And people wonder why so many children have Symptoms of ADS and else.....
This video made me realize that having a 10 step routine and 5 bottles of the same foundation is not normal and in fact overconsumption 😭 I need to do better
Back in my day we called this "vanity" hence the name of the spot you do all this primping and preening. "Self-care" means you groom to stay healthy and alive. Once your basic needs are met, it becomes superfluous and unproductive. Edit: I forgot to mention my forms of slef-care 1. Don't overthink (it's actually self-harm) 2. Remember to count your blessings 3. Let go of things that you know you've outgrown 4. Make room for both frivolous and necessary things, not one extreme 5. Give more compliments instead of favors if you find yourself people pleasing. Empower others to care for themselves too!
I feel like my self care is looking after my appearance, and both my physical and spiritual wellbeing. I make sure I look put together and do that by taking care of my skin with the help of a few cheap products, I do my own nails and highlight my hair - I DIY my own beauty from start to finish and that makes me feel good. I could go out without any makeup and often do. I'm not any less beautiful then than when I'm wearing a full face of makeup. The same goes for exercise. I go for walks and to body weight exercises instead of going to expensive pilates classes and paying for a gym membership to an exclusive fitness club. My soul gets fed by art, beauty in nature, music, reading, cooking and eating delicious food, meeting my friends, petting dogs, hugging trees and making peace with myself and the expectations aimed at me and everyone else. Do what makes you feel good, genuinely what you feel like gives you the most. Don't look for others to tell you. PS. Bath bombs are not banned in the EU. They are mostly baking soda, citric acid, essentials oils, colorants and perfumes. Most have no harmful chemicals.
A capitalist view on self care. Self care is before anything (IMO) eating right, exercising, sleeping well, enjoying your hobbies, spending time with the people you love and so on. Basically working to have the best health as possible. Things that are good for your physical and mental health.
...My self care is rather personal, but consists of working on internal issues that I struggle with, examining how I treat myself and others and changing negative patterns, setting appropriate boundaries and consequences for crossing said boundaries, and allowing myself to be honest with my feelings, ask for help, and cry, even letting myself cry in therapy for the first time after almost 10 years since I started, bc it's a better coping strategy than what I used to do. Mental health crises can happen to anyone regardless of how aesthetic they look on the outside, so even if it looks pretty on the outside, inside it can be quite ugly, and that's ok, it's human.
Self care is being responsible. Keeping yourself healthy in the physical and emotional sense, means choosing to do tasks that aren’t all that fun or pleasant but are necessary for your well being. Like paying bills on time, budgeting appropriately, ending toxic friendships/relationships, getting enough sleep, keeping your space tidy.
I’m so over consumerism. I started doing my own hair, nails, and now I shop at places like dollar store, Ross , thrift stores.. instead of trying to keep up with products/clothes that influencers market, I started watching the RUclipsrs who are more relatable the ones who work and shop budget friendly places
This video is so necessary. I work a lot and started learning about the commercialized version of self care. I'm glad to have found this video so I can start learning what true self care is.
My self care is washing my hair I’ve neglected for two weeks during a depressive episode and reading FanFiction and eating jalapeño Cheetos with a A&W Cream Soda.
My best tip for avoiding retail therapy: the library. Take out as many items as you want for free! Pull things off the shelf with wild abandon! Leave with 40 items, read or watch three of them, then return it all three weeks later! You get to feel like you went shopping, but it's free; you don't have stuff you won't use cluttering up your house; and bumping the library's circulation numbers helps them get more funding.
These aesthetic shower/skincare videos motivated me to do my basic hygiene routine when I was in my depression period, but you can do that in low cost. I love aesthetics, but I don't asthetify my hygiene/skincare products because there is no need of that.
I'm glad this video popped up. I've been feeling bad because I don't do the self care that social media shows. I wear my natural hair. I do my toes myself. I like to cook. I don't do all those facials, eyelashes, and wigs.
I got into skincare last year. You don’t need a lot of products. People have to learn and remember that content creators HAVE to create content because it’s their job. So what they’re creating is not the reality for majority of the population. I also HATE that companies have gaslit people to think that we are consumers and use that language when talking to us when we are actually CUSTOMERS! Self care is basically maintenance…but that word isn’t very trendy.
My self care consists of me spending money but I personally feels it’s reasonable and worth it; going to the gym, nails & toes done, and getting my locs retwisted. I was on the cusp of being a skincare junkie but thankfully I’ve learned to talk to myself when shopping and making lists before I leave so I don’t get distracted. It takes a long time to learn self control when it comes to spending but I believe anyone can do it! Just have to be patient with yourself and stay off social media FOR SURE
self care for me is putting on some cozy pajamas, lighting a natural beeswax candle, and then hopping into bed and reading angsty marvel irondad fanfics under the covers with soft vintage jazz playing in the background🥰
I use Dr. bonners sugar scrub, a pair of exfoliating gloves from dollar tree, African black soap I got on Jerome Ave in the Bronx for $5 1lb brick, argan oil from trader Joe's for my face and not a stich of make up I'm going on 44, look as young as my late 20's. The less chemicals you put in your skin, in your hair, the cleaner you eat, the less products you will need. It's also about embracing who you are.
I love this! I practice self-care by connecting within and doing activities that allow me to recharge, not spending money or seeking external validation. Thank you for shedding light on this 💕
I love this video! So much respect for making this! I especially love the clip of the young lady that explains that we are chasing our "ideal" selves, but can never just genuinely BE ourselves. When I was younger, ideal athletic weight and beauty standard, I was SO unhappy. I couldnt even enjoy it. I felt more complete after becoming a mother. HOWEVER then I was struggling more depression over my identity about my looks. I got my nails done and felt even worse. I put on fake lashes and just felt less authentic cuz i never used to do that. My SIL said we needed to go have a girls day and do bikini waxes and go to the gym together... But this was not the solution to my problem. Only now after years of processing that post partom period did i realize if someone couldve sat with me and just told me- nothing is WRONG. Society is wrong. Beauty standards are wrong. Other women looking down on you for superficial reasons are wrong. I realized i had everything i needed. Now, self care is just doing something i love. Read a book or go to the library. If spending money, getting home decor makes me feel better than doing my hair or nails or makeup. Light a candle. Put on some nice twinkle lights or music on my speaker. Light some incense. Clean my house. Eat a delicious meal. Watch my favorite show or movie. Those things bring me peace. Its not all the superficial stuff that define self care. Societys approval does not heal those inner conficts. I love how this video says, self care is KNOWING yourself. Then happiness follows
Self care should be natural, however, some of these social media women more than likely didn’t know anything about taking care of their body as far as the basics…bathing, expensive perfume, waxing,etc. I’ve been an esthetician over 20 yrs and trust me back then black women then were not doing any of these things bc they couldn’t afford it pretty much…or too toxic to care about self❤
You earned a new subscriber!! I especially love your list at the end. My self care is alone time away from my three young kids, art, doodling and organizing in my bullet journal, audiobooks, uplifting RUclipsrs and sunshine. 😁
My self care: 1. Out in nature. $0.00 2. Mani/Pedi $125.00 3.Wash and Deep condition my hair $0.00 4.Long bubble bath with candles $0.00 5.Laying Up $0.00
Mani pedi about to be $50.00 because I’m not getting fake nails done professionally anymore.. I’ll buy press on kits and gel polish. But they will do my pedi lol I can’t cut my cuticles to save my life
Shampoo and conditioner cost money how are they $0? Also laying down, considering you have a place to do that you are spending $2,000 a month at rent, how id that 0 dollars? The things you listed all cost something.
Self care to me is 1. Reading a book with a nicely scented candle and low jazz instrumental in my background or in a chair at Barnes and Noble. 2. Taking my weekend everything shower while listening to a podcast 3. Driving around my city with no destination and listening to an awesome playlist. 4. Laying in bed and binge watching a show 5. Going to the beach and listening to an audiobook. 6. Doing my nighttime skincare while watching RUclips. 7. Movie and game night with my kids. Thanks to everyone who shared their non-performative self care. I’ll be stealing some ideas from you.
Great video. I think your first point needs to be brought to light and repeated a lot more until people understand because it was literally what is thought before clicking this video: maintenance ≠ self care. Yet things that are beauty maintenance are marketed bright and shiny as “self care” and this affects people’s mind on the back end. Yes (esp if you’ve been in a low place/ neglecting yourself) certain parts of beauty maintenance will make you feel much better and go along with personal hygiene and grooming. But it’s the constant pursuit of “more” and the feeling of need of the best newest versions of these things that can eventually lead a person to feel less than and stuck on that treadmill. Even more so if they’re not taking account for or worse not even aware of the mental care that needs to be done alongside the physical.
I was recommended this video and I’m so glad I clicked on it. And yes I am a Stacie Orrico Stan! 😂 but listening to this almost brought me to tears because I’m almost 34 and since I turned 30 I had my 2nd child in 2020, I experienced sudden hearing loss, and tinnitus since early 2023. I’ve had so many unexplained health issues, my weight has gone up, I don’t make the gym consistently, im over weight? I’m noticing my skin changing, wrinkles, skin tags etc… and when people tell me “your skin looks amazing, you don’t need makeup” I get that high and validation, but at the same time I don’t believe them. I think they are just saying that to be nice. And I realize that I have been getting that high since my teenage years and into my 20s. And this video really made me reflect on where my validation and self worth is truly coming from. I’m a Christian and this message really spoke to me because I know what Gods word says about inner beauty and that women shouldn’t seek external adornment. And this video really brought that verse to light for me, even though maybe that wasn’t your intention lol. I also thought about this verse form proverbs “gray hair is like a crown of honor”, it’s so sad that society and propaganda and materialism has led us to believe that our younger selves are our “ideal selves” as the girl in that video clip you shared said. That hit me HARD! Gray hair, wrinkles, sun spots, stretch marks, all of these things tell a story. The story of us. And now I’m actually in tears because I’m so grateful to God for the Life He has given me 🥹❤️
My self care is doing absolutely nothing for my mental health. Day in day out I’m constantly moving, talking to people, repeating myself so when it comes to self care all i want to do is take a nice shower, put on some cute pjs, moisturize my body focusing on massaging my feet, shoulder and face (lymphatic drainage), turn on some jazz or piano instrumentals and read a good book or find a nice wholesome funny movie. I’m so over buying “stuff”
its so interesting that for me when i realized i was queer and came out as a queer woman, a lot of those desires to maintain my beauty faded away. and i was very much a beauty girl when i was in my teens. but in the queer women space, a woman's natural beauty is more celebrated. we love hairy legs and an "ugly" appearqnce bc it combats the cis heteromlnormative ideal and is almost a way to signal to each other "hey I'm gay!" haha but definitely definitely since i started dating my now wife, i just stopped caring about beauty products and keeping upmy appearance bc i knew i didn't have to perform beauty for her. i know this comment kinda drifted away from the topic of self care lol but just wanted to share my thoughts :) great video!
This topic reminds Dr.Scott's video "self care is a scam" I appreciate this topic being discussed because I went to go get a massage and left more stressed hahaha
love your editing, mic and video quality, no loud background music or silly random memes that undermine the message, plus really helpful videos that help us understand what youre talking about!
My quality of life improved when I stopped wearing makeup. I always argued that "I wear it for me! It makes me feel pretty and confident!" But when I went without it i saved time, $ and no one that mattered treated me any different. I will say I have less men coming on to me aggressively now. But mostly,it was just not comfortable. No more worrying about if it's going to rain. No more not being able to wash my greasy face while working food service. No more being careful about not touching my face at all. No more crunchy, eyes, greasy skin. I rarely break out now. I try wearing it once in a while, and it feels so fake and uncomfortable! It was never self care. Older and wiser. 😊
People need to realize that self care does not need to be something that you want to do or like to do. Instead it can be something that you need to do to maintain proper health and hygiene or to have a better state of mind
In the last year I managed to make my skincare the simplest it’s even been and my skin looks much better than when I used all the masks and peels and serums.
Speaking of girly movies in clueless Tai did not want to do that girly makeover. Cher wanted to do that makeover for Tai bc she feels a “sense of control” during that and it would’ve been better for Tai to just be appreciated as who the character was originally written for although she does try to go with different styles even though she’s not as girly as Cher. I dislike that most ppl “treat you better” when you’re more dressed up versus wearing casual wear. I was told my causal outfits look ugly by fam and I got looked down by my manager for dressing more casually which is so ridiculous! Life is not a fashion show and that manager is not a fashion judge. I do enjoy dressing up at times but I go with what suits me not bc someone wants to think I’d look “prettier” if I went with so and so style. I wouldn’t want to go around judging peoples styles so it is sad that some don’t mind their God given business bc I see it sometimes the way ppl want to judge your looks especially if it’s not inappropriate at all!
getting comfortable being "ugly" in public 🙌 For me it's allowing myself to look my age. it's ok to be 40s and not feel like you should look 30. Also - taking my time "bouncing back" from pregnancy is a HUGE self care win.
Self care is whatever refreshes YOUR mind and soul. While a 59 step skin care may (but I highly doubt) actually be self care for some one, great. But it doesn’t need to be that way for everyone. It’s whatever makes you feel good and rejuvenated.
This is such as amazing video. I was seriously just nodding wildly at every single thing said. It’s so comforting to see intelligent, thoughtful creators out here breaking through to send important messages to the people who need them most! My self-care looks like doing stretches to manage body pain even when I’m unmotivated, staying hydrated all day by refilling my water cup regularly, or doing a fun puzzle and listening to music to relax.
You have sooo many good points, I feel like I am a lot more aware of what's behind this. Hopefully, I can be able to break some of these patterns. I am also in a nostalgic era, after turning 30 and rediscoved some old music I loved including Stacie Orrino
my simple self care: 1 sleeping 2 eating 3 play some random songs 4 watching cartoon shows (inner child healing is very important) 4 spending time with your family 5 resting 6 dancing 7 drawing
Decades and decades of below replacement birth rates, the only way to continue growth as far as business profits is to either increase prices or cause over consumption, and with planned obsolescence you get over consumption in order to retain the GDP growth.
I’m 44 you could not pay me be 20 again. I finally I’m comfortable in myself I don’t need to buy tons of products to be happy. My self care in a cup of tea and a good book followed by a little journaling, no fancy journal I use a notebook I decorated. My skincare is very basic bar soap, witch hazel and ponds face cream and sun block before I go out. It’s what my mom and granny used and they aged great. If you are unhappy in yourself it doesn’t matter how much you buy or how much money you have you’ll still be unhappy
I remember when matte skin was what women were told to have. That shiny skin meant you were oily and therefore not attractive. All the different products to make your skin what it isn't.
Self care is reading fanfiction on my couch and not talking to anyone for hours 😂
I just found one of my people!! What are your top 5 ships?
Thank god I’m not the only one! Hello friends 🥺❤️
Mine is Jacob/Bella from Twiligh, Dramione from HP and some others ;)@@nicoledawn911
Me too 😂
This but I also read in the bath
They're "not participating in self care, they're performing" -- this is so true
I treat myself like a plant with self care- water, some sunshine, and rest.
😂😂😂❤💯💯
🌱🌿🪴🌾🍀☘
That’s the best thing i read on the internet in a very long time. Gonna apply this to my life as well. Thank you 😻
And I feed my plants some healthy fertilizer regularly. The human equivalent may be Whole Foods or feeding my emotional needs with tea, a hot bath or deep breathing.
this is perfect. yess.
self care is me taking a hot shower, letting myself cry, take a walk, blast music, play the sims; anything that helps me feel like ME
Big yes about the sims
@@Kirsten4260 i second that! Yes Sims...
I play roblox 😂
Letting myself cry
Self care is sleeeeeeewp
We also gotta talk about how "self care" got hijacked into part of women's compulsory beautification. Nobody tells men to practice "self care" by slathering their face in anti wrinkle cream.
Nope. I just searched "self care men" on RUclips and there's a bunch of videos with men telling other men how to get glass skin, how to groom, to apply clay masks, Pharrell is on GQ shilling a cream so that men can look "youthful," etc.
right. you never see men as the face of the new anti-wrinkle cream. it’s always women because our worth is dictated by our age and how “young” we look
@@kaallleeeeand its so so creepy that grown women are expected to cling onto looking like teenage girls as long as possible
I see men taking care of themselves. Once they know depending on the man they try to keep it up. From skin care to shaving routines and manicures.
I remember when man basic hygiene was a gay thing as a joke (no a funny joke) ppl told me if a man use perfume, brush him hair and took care of him skin wasn't straight bc real man are "masculine" with hair, odor and all whatever that mean, 💀that's say many things, the obsesive pairing in marketing between feminity, make up, health, and I'm not again it bc shouldn't be exclusive for females, that neglect can become in risky health issues.
i'm a nurse in trauma and i have a lot of women who ask me how they look or see themselves in a mirror and say 'god i look awful' to which i usually reply, 'you look like a normal person who's in the hospital. nobody looks amazing here!' i try to be gentle and help them brush their hair and clean up and help them learn to be okay with not looking amazing, because right now they deserve to be forgiving or themselves and willing to be gentle with themselves during the healing process. imo for many patients that is self care--coming to terms with your injury and forgiving yourself for not being able to do everything you used to be able to do. it doesn't mean you can't be frustrated, but it means you shouldn't think of slow progress as 'failure' because in recovery there are only setbacks, not failures.
You are an amazing soul. Thank you. We could all use a wonderful nurse like you during our (unfortunate) hospital stays.
🌻💕
Self care:
1. Time with family (touching base with a family member)
2. Sleeping in late
3. Going on a long walk
4. Journaling
5. Cooking a nice meal
6. No social media
7. Soothing bath
8. Soft music (Sade, Gospel, classical)
Edit: There's no right or wrong answer. This is just what i do. Please do what's best for you :-)
I would change "no social media' to be "carefull with social media" - I subcribe some educational chanells on yt which is more an more often considered as social media
Yes!! I agree! Also add being out in nature.
yes because you can get walk in nature and in city, both are good but also both gave other experiences@@theladynextdoor313
Good point. @@katarzynamarzec2291
I like "no social media", taking breaks from all the screens is definitely self care
as an autistic person, for me an example of self care is scheduling when i need to run errands, go to appointments, leave the house at all basically, around when transit is going to be quietest, and whether it will be too late for me to take a nap or too early to take the rest of the day off after, because those things are so draining and i really need to rest afterwards.
Absolutely! Thanks for commenting this I feel seen :)
All of this and then some.
Yes😊
“People lack identity and think they can buy one.”
You NEVER miss!
Well to be honest, I doubt that the personality they’re trying to buy is any worse than the personality they actually have.
@@d3pr0fundisshots fired! 😄👍🏼
Yesss I’m ashamed to say it but I fell into that “everything showers” on Sunday trend and it did nothing but stress me out, give me razor bumps and waste hot water. Now I shave and exfoliate when I want and don’t make it this big huge routine. I also don’t make Sundays my big huge reset routine because that stresses me out major. I just wash my sheets, tidy up a little (I clean on Fridays) and do any homework for the week. I’m still learning actual self care and not superficial vain “self-care”. I love beauty but the way everyone sees it now is insanely toxic. Beauty to me is a feeling, like the feeling you get when you see a beautiful flower or bug. So after this video I’m going to redefine my habits and my perceptions so thank you!
don't be ashamed, it's all a part of learning and growing :-) at least now u do what u wanna do, which is the most important thing. ur doing great, keep living life how u want to 🩵
🎯
I just KNOW these girls have expensive plumbing bills with the amount of crap they put in their bathtubs 😳
I'm screaming 😂
And a bunch of UTIs to boot.
Maybe it sounds like that, to you. For some other people it might be a feeling of recognition and relief that other people see through this bs too. And it's tragically funny to me that you would think the only reason people might not want to lather themselves and the surrounding nature with needles chemicals is envy. But we all have our egos and biases so.
@@lb6056This comment is icing on the cake 😂😂
@@Marjutificationhow high are you?
Self care is cooking at home instead of ordering out, self care is going to bed early and not wasting my time on social media, self care is standing up for yourself at work.
Im not sure if self care is cooking cause its just kinda stressful to do but it def is healthier
Just thought about it some more and i actually think trying out a new recipe or making one of your favorite meals would be my way of calling it self care :)
Not everyone finds cooking stressful. And yes cooking at home knowing what you are putting in your body is self care. Self care is subjective to everyone @@selenadamman8417
I love to cook! Put on a great podcast and its relaxing.@selenadamman8417
period.
Self care is being the parent to yourself. Taking care of yourself (washing, cooking quality meals, and finding meaningful work)
Self care for me is getting proper job that doesnt burn me out, proper relationship that lifts me up, investing my money instead of wasting it on products I will throw down the drain
1. Nice hot shower using Dove original body wash
2. Vaseline to moisturize
3. Nice comfy oversized Tshirt and fuzzy socks
4. A good book/movie
5. A good snack
6. Fall asleep when my body tells me to
Perfect self care routine for my 🥰
Ehhhh I like.my.oversized pants because I'm pregnant but I'm RIGHT THERE with ya! Also cooking up a delicious dinner and dessert from Starch I can smile at as I eat it cause I know it's healthy and more quality than any restaurant food. It doesn't get fresher then straight from my kitchen cooked to my taste
you are me, I am you lol
@@akosua8779 YES! I get enjoyment out of making meals from scratch. It does feel good to know I DID THAT when everyone leaves the table full and happy. Cooking is definitely something I consider self care also……
Yes!!! Love this!!!!!
vaseline isn't a moisturizer lol...petroleum doesn't contain water so therefore it does not moisturize. it creates a layer on your skin to prevent water from leaving..
The comment about the never being allowed to be my present self as I am striving for a future ideal and a past younger ideal hit hard 😢
this video is helping me with my shopping addiction due to depression. I’m trying to unpack this in therapy but this video is exactly how I feel a high & then it goes then i chase the next high because Im truly not satisfied with myself but Im working on being fulfilled outside of what society says is fulfilling.
it’s awesome you’re self aware ❤ I deal with this too. It’s easy to get sucked in!
that must be really tough❤I know I spend too much on beauty stuff when I already had enough and I'm starting to wind it back a bit. I don't need every scent of body butter 🙄
There is a lot of free content to Adress mental health problems here on RUclips.
From Therapists and healed people.
THIS!!!
Hoping things get better for you !
I cannot love this enough! Self care is reading books, spending time alone, journaling, spending quality time with my family, spending lots of time in nature, minding my mental and spiritual health, eating properly for my body and being comfortable in my skin... unshaven legs and all (body hair is NOT a marker of cleanliness, folks are so weird about body hair). Self care is PEACE! When you said something about people lacking identity and thinking they can just buy one... BINGO! I see so many folks with zero personality thinking their things and aesthetics make them interesting. It doesn't.. trends always change.
For me, showering every day and basic dental hygiene is self-care. I'm chronically ill, so maintaining personal hygiene can be very tricky for me. But ever since I started reframing it as self-care and not a mandatory daily necessity, I've actually been able to keep up with it much easier. Being able to see it as something kind I could do for my body helped.
And it's a restorative cycle, because maintaining personal hygiene makes me feel good, so my mood is boosted, which helps me deal with said chronic illness. I also don't feel as guilty and ashamed when I *do* miss a day or two. All in all, it's really helped me in being more kind with myself.
Anyway, wonderful video as always!
I'm not sure if you're taking video suggestions, but you touched upon something in this video that I think would make a good video on its own; the relationship between low self-esteem, trauma, and consumerism. I'm in a few meme groups, and I've noticed a large amount of 'coping memes' end up glamourizing/making light of over-consumption and shopping addiction. For example, stuff like "me going on my third trip to Target this month so I can feel something again" or "healing my inner child by buying her a Barbie Dream House".
Here on RUclips is so many free content from Therapists and healed people to help with working on all these problems.
It can be hard or just to expensive to find a therapist and most of the healing work has to be done by the person themselves anyway.
It surely helped me to grow and heal.
But it's hard work...
THIS.
@@CordeliaWagner1999 all what problems? They only talked ab chronic illness…
@@CordeliaWagner1999tf are you yapping about
Plus, I find it so creepy that those memes were designed and started by Target and Mattel.
It seems grassroots. But it’s the most manufactured. Just creepy.
Self care for me is reading a book in the sun, putting on a face mask and call a friend, going on a walk, singing or just play video games for hours without any human interaction. Self care should make you happy not be expensive work on your body to look a certain way.
This takes me back to Parks and Rec when everyone jumped onto the bandwagon of "TREAT YO SELF." While the sentiment is nice, I saw a lot of friends take it to heart and almost go bankrupt because they thought it was self care to spend money they don't have on overpriced luxuries.
Yes the treat YO SELF shouldn't make you broke. I treat myself by buying quality food at the store so I can make.myself.some hyped dinners for the weeks to come.
Well that's dumb!
right! self-care is me paying my student loan and bills, saving money, never putting myself in credit card debt...buying stuff you can't afford is never caring for yourself
Real self care is facing your giants /strongholds and overcoming them to become a new person from the inside which eventually will show up on the outside.
👏 👏
I just recently did this with two people in my life and when I tell you it unlocked something in me I never knew existed. I’ve been flourishing mentally emotionally etc and I am so proud of myself and grateful. I feel good from the inside out . I really took care of my needs
The best thing I did for myself was get rid of social media, I used to be so insecure about face , my teeth and what I look like constantly it was annoying I couldn't enjoy my life cause I was constantly aware of myself (didn't help that I'm in my first year of college where all the pressure is to look like a baddie) and since getting rid of it I can converse with other people and make actual friends and genuinely enjoy our time together cause I'm not focused on upholding this veil of beauty
Thank u for this comment ❤
Self care for me is maintaining a clean and comfortable space, having quiet time to reflect. Self care is being bold enough to reject “standards” and define your life for yourself. A person can have hundreds of dollars in products and still be miserable b/c they are chasing another person’s idea of what is acceptable/beautiful.
🎯
Im glad finally some people are starting address how out of hand this is getting with having to buy all these products thats actually not even needed.. Its giving the wrong message especially towards the younger generation we need to go back to basics spend time with family, go for a walk with your dog, read a book etc just my two cents
Self care is: Drinking a cup of tea, Watering your plants,cleaning,reading a book,learning a skill,Cooking,Prayer,Bible study,and Gardening
I also find it really troubling that we turn our relaxation time into more work. I started doing self care two years ago to honor my body and make time for me to relax, reflect, and refresh. But one day I woke up and realized my "self care" had become a list of things i had to do in order to make myself look acceptable to those I wanted to impress. Not only does this make much of this "self care' about pleasing and serving others in the end, but also was just more work for me to do instead of relaxing like it was meant to do. I wonder if this is done in order to keep us in one of the other forms of consumer the poster you noted includes: the worker
🎯
As someone who loves skincare, has a simple daily skincare routine, and finds a lot of joy in it, I 100% agree with everything you said. I think skincare and beauty should be reframed as "hobbies". Something that you enjoy doing as a process. Not a necessity. Not something you do to reach an end goal of looking more beautiful.
Interestingly things like skincare, beauty and especially fashion, if done right, IS an exercise is self-introspection and analysis. Finding out who you are, what needs do YOU want to fulfil. What does your skin really need? What kinds of clothes best suits your body and represents you as a person. Taking the time to reflect on these questions can help seperate these activities from overconsumption and being influenced by trends. If you know what you want and what works for you, it doesn't matter what is trendy. You can easily reject trends and new products, because they don't serve you.
I love this view of things because you're right! Using your examples, if you're engaging in finding skincare that works for you, you are doing research and learning about different chemicals and processes and that does develop your mind as well! In finding what works for you with clothing, you're looking up maybe what colors match or complement or maybe what looks good with what lighting, enabling you to also engage in art. Fashion, after all, is a form of expression and art!
Audre Lorde wrote about self care in A Burst of Light as a radical response to both a cancer diagnosis and the long-term psychological effects of racism. It used to mean taking care of your heart and body in a way that doesn’t benefit capitalism or shaping yourself for others’ consumption and the “treat yo’self” overconsumption monster it’s morphed into makes me really sad. This was a great video ty!
The thing you said about 90's/00's movies... that makes so much sense. I loved makeovers and shopping sprees and always dreamt about those things. I was bullied so it was my way of escapism and magical thinking that one day I will emerge as this beautiful butterfly and people would finally like me. I still do that and I am a mom in my 30's! Not an example I want to set to my daughter...
Anyone else allergic to this "hand with perfect long nails, covered with a long fuzzy sleeve, nail tapping on every surface and crunching packages for ASMR effect"? There is even a very specific way they pick up or put down items. I always feel super icky when seeing this.
Agreed. I always block that stuff.
The makeover part in movies I felt was insulting. Now you're worth this man's attention. That's why I liked Ugly Betty. They made us wait for a makeover that never happened.
Yessss
I used to love the makeover scene from Princess Diaries but now I’m older I realise what an impact it must have had on me and a whole generation of young girls who have curly hair (as well as other features such as braces, etc).
As a mom of two small kids, I do not practice "self care". I am constantly reminding myself to take *care* of myself because it's easy to neglect one's self when you have to take care of small human beings. I do like the self care videos but it's because it reminds me to take care and indulge once in a while. But you're right. My self care is reading personal growth books, books about the gospel, reading sci-fi...taking a shower after a long day, taking walks. Things that help me be better for my children, and that fill my cup. I loved this commentary! I will be subscribing ❤.
I was taught self care in HS by a lady that became almost like a sensei to me. Every lesson was centered around being still, reflecting and internally refilling what was lost or given to people in my world. It wasn't suppose to be "cute", it was meant to make time for yourself to uncover or rediscover or just connect.
Another thing corporations have convinced people is "self care" is overeating junkfood. "I didn't eat an entire box of oreos in one afternoon then fall asleep on the couch from the sugar crash and then wake up groggy and unable to fall asleep the next night because i am addicted to processed food and trapped in an addictive cycle of overconsumption. It was self care."
I always felt weird that my self care wasn't about bubble baths and nails but instead journaling and books this point makes me proud
its literally just consumerism rebranded lol. my self care is a phone call with my bestie, my favorite video game and a bomb nap if your self care costs as much as the average rent, you doin too damn much
I hate that the psychological marketing tactics they use work on us even when we know they are doing it. I'm currently trying to practice self care by cutting down on caffeine so I can get more and better sleep.
Coffein makes me so uncomfortable.
It's a highly addictive psychotrophic Substanzen.
A LOT of people have trouble sleeping.
I am sure there is a link between coffein consumption and sleep problems.
And there are so many energy drinks that look so cool and it's so obvious that they are targeting children.
In Germany we have 15 ounces / half a Liter cans of Monster Energy Drink.
They come in so many flavours and the cans look sooo good.
And they are very high on Coffeine.
One can is more than what is recommandet for an adult.
And people wonder why so many children have Symptoms of ADS and else.....
This video made me realize that having a 10 step routine and 5 bottles of the same foundation is not normal and in fact overconsumption 😭 I need to do better
Back in my day we called this "vanity" hence the name of the spot you do all this primping and preening. "Self-care" means you groom to stay healthy and alive. Once your basic needs are met, it becomes superfluous and unproductive.
Edit: I forgot to mention my forms of slef-care
1. Don't overthink (it's actually self-harm)
2. Remember to count your blessings
3. Let go of things that you know you've outgrown
4. Make room for both frivolous and necessary things, not one extreme
5. Give more compliments instead of favors if you find yourself people pleasing. Empower others to care for themselves too!
I feel like my self care is looking after my appearance, and both my physical and spiritual wellbeing.
I make sure I look put together and do that by taking care of my skin with the help of a few cheap products, I do my own nails and highlight my hair - I DIY my own beauty from start to finish and that makes me feel good. I could go out without any makeup and often do. I'm not any less beautiful then than when I'm wearing a full face of makeup.
The same goes for exercise. I go for walks and to body weight exercises instead of going to expensive pilates classes and paying for a gym membership to an exclusive fitness club.
My soul gets fed by art, beauty in nature, music, reading, cooking and eating delicious food, meeting my friends, petting dogs, hugging trees and making peace with myself and the expectations aimed at me and everyone else.
Do what makes you feel good, genuinely what you feel like gives you the most. Don't look for others to tell you.
PS. Bath bombs are not banned in the EU. They are mostly baking soda, citric acid, essentials oils, colorants and perfumes. Most have no harmful chemicals.
A capitalist view on self care. Self care is before anything (IMO) eating right, exercising, sleeping well, enjoying your hobbies, spending time with the people you love and so on. Basically working to have the best health as possible. Things that are good for your physical and mental health.
...My self care is rather personal, but consists of working on internal issues that I struggle with, examining how I treat myself and others and changing negative patterns, setting appropriate boundaries and consequences for crossing said boundaries, and allowing myself to be honest with my feelings, ask for help, and cry, even letting myself cry in therapy for the first time after almost 10 years since I started, bc it's a better coping strategy than what I used to do. Mental health crises can happen to anyone regardless of how aesthetic they look on the outside, so even if it looks pretty on the outside, inside it can be quite ugly, and that's ok, it's human.
The best self-care I ever learned was how to cook for myself (food allergies) and how to manage my money better.
Self care is being responsible. Keeping yourself healthy in the physical and emotional sense, means choosing to do tasks that aren’t all that fun or pleasant but are necessary for your well being. Like paying bills on time, budgeting appropriately, ending toxic friendships/relationships, getting enough sleep, keeping your space tidy.
I’m so over consumerism. I started doing my own hair, nails, and now I shop at places like dollar store, Ross , thrift stores.. instead of trying to keep up with products/clothes that influencers market, I started watching the RUclipsrs who are more relatable the ones who work and shop budget friendly places
This video is so necessary. I work a lot and started learning about the commercialized version of self care. I'm glad to have found this video so I can start learning what true self care is.
My self care is washing my hair I’ve neglected for two weeks during a depressive episode and reading FanFiction and eating jalapeño Cheetos with a A&W Cream Soda.
I haven’t had cream soda in YEARS! Sounds amazing. Oh and I struggle with washing my hair too. ☺️💕
Did you just describe me? 😭 Except Cheetos mine would be the bag of Nutella biscuits 🤤 I love them
There is a zero sugar cream soda version and it's amazing. Hard to find but it's so good
Instead of cheetos gimme that pack of Twizzlers ! And finally deep condition my coils cause I know.my hair is thirsty and sad from the neglect
My best tip for avoiding retail therapy: the library. Take out as many items as you want for free! Pull things off the shelf with wild abandon! Leave with 40 items, read or watch three of them, then return it all three weeks later! You get to feel like you went shopping, but it's free; you don't have stuff you won't use cluttering up your house; and bumping the library's circulation numbers helps them get more funding.
Great video! I prioritized my self care by figuring out my core values and doing the actions which supported those values.
That can be a hard and Rock road but it's worth it!
I’m working on that as well :)
These aesthetic shower/skincare videos motivated me to do my basic hygiene routine when I was in my depression period, but you can do that in low cost. I love aesthetics, but I don't asthetify my hygiene/skincare products because there is no need of that.
My self care is reading every day and going to the gym a few times a week so I have more energy and can do more things independently in daily life
I'm glad this video popped up. I've been feeling bad because I don't do the self care that social media shows. I wear my natural hair. I do my toes myself. I like to cook. I don't do all those facials, eyelashes, and wigs.
I got into skincare last year. You don’t need a lot of products. People have to learn and remember that content creators HAVE to create content because it’s their job. So what they’re creating is not the reality for majority of the population.
I also HATE that companies have gaslit people to think that we are consumers and use that language when talking to us when we are actually CUSTOMERS!
Self care is basically maintenance…but that word isn’t very trendy.
The only selfcare that helped me was treating and talking to myself the way my bestie would. WWMBFFD.
Love the video, influencers are not here to help us.. they are not our friends
The art of window shopping helps with this so much
The point about never being able to be ourselves in the moment!! So true and insightful!
My self care consists of me spending money but I personally feels it’s reasonable and worth it; going to the gym, nails & toes done, and getting my locs retwisted. I was on the cusp of being a skincare junkie but thankfully I’ve learned to talk to myself when shopping and making lists before I leave so I don’t get distracted. It takes a long time to learn self control when it comes to spending but I believe anyone can do it! Just have to be patient with yourself and stay off social media FOR SURE
self care for me is putting on some cozy pajamas, lighting a natural beeswax candle, and then hopping into bed and reading angsty marvel irondad fanfics under the covers with soft vintage jazz playing in the background🥰
I use Dr. bonners sugar scrub, a pair of exfoliating gloves from dollar tree, African black soap I got on Jerome Ave in the Bronx for $5 1lb brick, argan oil from trader Joe's for my face and not a stich of make up I'm going on 44, look as young as my late 20's. The less chemicals you put in your skin, in your hair, the cleaner you eat, the less products you will need. It's also about embracing who you are.
Self care is when i do stuff that ive been procrastinating so i can move forward in life
I love this! I practice self-care by connecting within and doing activities that allow me to recharge, not spending money or seeking external validation. Thank you for shedding light on this 💕
I love this video! So much respect for making this! I especially love the clip of the young lady that explains that we are chasing our "ideal" selves, but can never just genuinely BE ourselves. When I was younger, ideal athletic weight and beauty standard, I was SO unhappy. I couldnt even enjoy it. I felt more complete after becoming a mother. HOWEVER then I was struggling more depression over my identity about my looks. I got my nails done and felt even worse. I put on fake lashes and just felt less authentic cuz i never used to do that. My SIL said we needed to go have a girls day and do bikini waxes and go to the gym together... But this was not the solution to my problem. Only now after years of processing that post partom period did i realize if someone couldve sat with me and just told me- nothing is WRONG. Society is wrong. Beauty standards are wrong. Other women looking down on you for superficial reasons are wrong. I realized i had everything i needed. Now, self care is just doing something i love. Read a book or go to the library. If spending money, getting home decor makes me feel better than doing my hair or nails or makeup. Light a candle. Put on some nice twinkle lights or music on my speaker. Light some incense. Clean my house. Eat a delicious meal. Watch my favorite show or movie. Those things bring me peace. Its not all the superficial stuff that define self care. Societys approval does not heal those inner conficts. I love how this video says, self care is KNOWING yourself. Then happiness follows
Self care should be natural, however, some of these social media women more than likely didn’t know anything about taking care of their body as far as the basics…bathing, expensive perfume, waxing,etc. I’ve been an esthetician over 20 yrs and trust me back then black women then were not doing any of these things bc they couldn’t afford it pretty much…or too toxic to care about self❤
(There’s Gotta Be) More to Life is one of my favorite nostalgic songs from my youth.
This video nails so much I have been thinking over the years, and I love that all the points are backed up with sociology and philosophy
You earned a new subscriber!! I especially love your list at the end. My self care is alone time away from my three young kids, art, doodling and organizing in my bullet journal, audiobooks, uplifting RUclipsrs and sunshine. 😁
Just as I was about to increase the steps in my working skincare routine and force myself to the gym more often, this video pops up. Thank you
Go to the gym nonetheless
My self care:
1. Out in nature. $0.00
2. Mani/Pedi $125.00
3.Wash and Deep condition my hair $0.00
4.Long bubble bath with candles $0.00
5.Laying Up $0.00
Mani pedi about to be $50.00 because I’m not getting fake nails done professionally anymore.. I’ll buy press on kits and gel polish. But they will do my pedi lol I can’t cut my cuticles to save my life
@@LiaTheLight I just stopped getting acrylic nails too so we pretty much have the same self care list.
Shampoo and conditioner cost money how are they $0? Also laying down, considering you have a place to do that you are spending $2,000 a month at rent, how id that 0 dollars? The things you listed all cost something.
Self care to me is
1. Reading a book with a nicely scented candle and low jazz instrumental in my background or in a chair at Barnes and Noble.
2. Taking my weekend everything shower while listening to a podcast
3. Driving around my city with no destination and listening to an awesome playlist.
4. Laying in bed and binge watching a show
5. Going to the beach and listening to an audiobook.
6. Doing my nighttime skincare while watching RUclips.
7. Movie and game night with my kids.
Thanks to everyone who shared their non-performative self care. I’ll be stealing some ideas from you.
Great video. I think your first point needs to be brought to light and repeated a lot more until people understand because it was literally what is thought before clicking this video: maintenance ≠ self care. Yet things that are beauty maintenance are marketed bright and shiny as “self care” and this affects people’s mind on the back end. Yes (esp if you’ve been in a low place/ neglecting yourself) certain parts of beauty maintenance will make you feel much better and go along with personal hygiene and grooming. But it’s the constant pursuit of “more” and the feeling of need of the best newest versions of these things that can eventually lead a person to feel less than and stuck on that treadmill. Even more so if they’re not taking account for or worse not even aware of the mental care that needs to be done alongside the physical.
I was recommended this video and I’m so glad I clicked on it. And yes I am a Stacie Orrico Stan! 😂 but listening to this almost brought me to tears because I’m almost 34 and since I turned 30 I had my 2nd child in 2020, I experienced sudden hearing loss, and tinnitus since early 2023. I’ve had so many unexplained health issues, my weight has gone up, I don’t make the gym consistently, im over weight? I’m noticing my skin changing, wrinkles, skin tags etc… and when people tell me “your skin looks amazing, you don’t need makeup” I get that high and validation, but at the same time I don’t believe them. I think they are just saying that to be nice. And I realize that I have been getting that high since my teenage years and into my 20s. And this video really made me reflect on where my validation and self worth is truly coming from. I’m a Christian and this message really spoke to me because I know what Gods word says about inner beauty and that women shouldn’t seek external adornment. And this video really brought that verse to light for me, even though maybe that wasn’t your intention lol. I also thought about this verse form proverbs “gray hair is like a crown of honor”, it’s so sad that society and propaganda and materialism has led us to believe that our younger selves are our “ideal selves” as the girl in that video clip you shared said. That hit me HARD! Gray hair, wrinkles, sun spots, stretch marks, all of these things tell a story. The story of us. And now I’m actually in tears because I’m so grateful to God for the Life He has given me 🥹❤️
My self care is doing absolutely nothing for my mental health. Day in day out I’m constantly moving, talking to people, repeating myself so when it comes to self care all i want to do is take a nice shower, put on some cute pjs, moisturize my body focusing on massaging my feet, shoulder and face (lymphatic drainage), turn on some jazz or piano instrumentals and read a good book or find a nice wholesome funny movie. I’m so over buying “stuff”
Omg this is just like me minus the music. I just love silence
its so interesting that for me when i realized i was queer and came out as a queer woman, a lot of those desires to maintain my beauty faded away. and i was very much a beauty girl when i was in my teens. but in the queer women space, a woman's natural beauty is more celebrated. we love hairy legs and an "ugly" appearqnce bc it combats the cis heteromlnormative ideal and is almost a way to signal to each other "hey I'm gay!" haha but definitely definitely since i started dating my now wife, i just stopped caring about beauty products and keeping upmy appearance bc i knew i didn't have to perform beauty for her. i know this comment kinda drifted away from the topic of self care lol but just wanted to share my thoughts :) great video!
This topic reminds Dr.Scott's video "self care is a scam"
I appreciate this topic being discussed because I went to go get a massage and left more stressed hahaha
love your editing, mic and video quality, no loud background music or silly random memes that undermine the message, plus really helpful videos that help us understand what youre talking about!
Self care is health : best sleep you can get, quality food, working out, time in nature
My quality of life improved when I stopped wearing makeup. I always argued that "I wear it for me! It makes me feel pretty and confident!" But when I went without it i saved time, $ and no one that mattered treated me any different. I will say I have less men coming on to me aggressively now. But mostly,it was just not comfortable. No more worrying about if it's going to rain. No more not being able to wash my greasy face while working food service. No more being careful about not touching my face at all. No more crunchy, eyes, greasy skin. I rarely break out now. I try wearing it once in a while, and it feels so fake and uncomfortable! It was never self care. Older and wiser. 😊
stacie orrico - so simple fits with the theme of this video; "I don't really need much / Less is more, more, more"
People need to realize that self care does not need to be something that you want to do or like to do. Instead it can be something that you need to do to maintain proper health and hygiene or to have a better state of mind
In the last year I managed to make my skincare the simplest it’s even been and my skin looks much better than when I used all the masks and peels and serums.
Speaking of girly movies in clueless Tai did not want to do that girly makeover. Cher wanted to do that makeover for Tai bc she feels a “sense of control” during that and it would’ve been better for Tai to just be appreciated as who the character was originally written for although she does try to go with different styles even though she’s not as girly as Cher.
I dislike that most ppl “treat you better” when you’re more dressed up versus wearing casual wear. I was told my causal outfits look ugly by fam and I got looked down by my manager for dressing more casually which is so ridiculous! Life is not a fashion show and that manager is not a fashion judge.
I do enjoy dressing up at times but I go with what suits me not bc someone wants to think I’d look “prettier” if I went with so and so style.
I wouldn’t want to go around judging peoples styles so it is sad that some don’t mind their God given business bc I see it sometimes the way ppl want to judge your looks especially if it’s not inappropriate at all!
okay i sat down and listened to this fr, and it helped open my eyes a lot on this bc as a 19 year old, i'm on the hamster wheel too.
thank you Ashley
Thank you for the work you do. Self care is also: eating well - nutritious food.
Even if you didn’t watch it, you know what ‘get in loser we’re going shopping’ is
Someone has finally said it!!!!❤❤ thank you for this video 👍🏾
"Pleasure and luxury can feel good in the moment, but it leaves you wanting more."
In other words, it's addiction.
getting comfortable being "ugly" in public 🙌 For me it's allowing myself to look my age. it's ok to be 40s and not feel like you should look 30. Also - taking my time "bouncing back" from pregnancy is a HUGE self care win.
Self care is whatever refreshes YOUR mind and soul. While a 59 step skin care may (but I highly doubt) actually be self care for some one, great. But it doesn’t need to be that way for everyone. It’s whatever makes you feel good and rejuvenated.
This is such as amazing video.
I was seriously just nodding wildly at every single thing said.
It’s so comforting to see intelligent, thoughtful creators out here breaking through to send important messages to the people who need them most!
My self-care looks like doing stretches to manage body pain even when I’m unmotivated, staying hydrated all day by refilling my water cup regularly, or doing a fun puzzle and listening to music to relax.
my favorite forms of self care are: having time to myself, reading a good book, and exercising ❤️
Selfcare is doing whatever you like and spending how much you want. Not everyone is financially strapped
You have sooo many good points, I feel like I am a lot more aware of what's behind this. Hopefully, I can be able to break some of these patterns. I am also in a nostalgic era, after turning 30 and rediscoved some old music I loved including Stacie Orrino
my simple self care: 1 sleeping 2 eating 3 play some random songs 4 watching cartoon shows (inner child healing is very important) 4 spending time with your family 5 resting 6 dancing 7 drawing
Was not expecting the Stacie Orrico reference, but those lyrics brought me back. That was my favorite song of hers! Hi there, fellow fan!!
Decades and decades of below replacement birth rates, the only way to continue growth as far as business profits is to either increase prices or cause over consumption, and with planned obsolescence you get over consumption in order to retain the GDP growth.
I’m 44 you could not pay me be 20 again. I finally I’m comfortable in myself I don’t need to buy tons of products to be happy.
My self care in a cup of tea and a good book followed by a little journaling, no fancy journal I use a notebook I decorated.
My skincare is very basic bar soap, witch hazel and ponds face cream and sun block before I go out. It’s what my mom and granny used and they aged great.
If you are unhappy in yourself it doesn’t matter how much you buy or how much money you have you’ll still be unhappy
I remember when matte skin was what women were told to have. That shiny skin meant you were oily and therefore not attractive. All the different products to make your skin what it isn't.
my self care these days is doing a daily reading from my courage to change, journaling after, and eating more vegetables.