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Surviving Infidelity: 6 Things I Wish I'd Known
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- Опубликовано: 17 авг 2024
- When Wayne strayed from his marriage, it cost him and his family dearly. Even decades later, he still looks back on his infidelity and wishes he’d known more, that he’d acted differently. Today, Wayne shares the six things he wishes he’d known back then as well as information he’s gained during his recovery and experience as a counselor.
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COVER MORE GROUND FASTER by registering in Affair Recovery’s EMS Virtual Weekend experience. Alongside a small group of other couples and Affair Recovery’s founder and infidelity expert, Rick Reynolds, EMS Virtual Weekend is a safe space for you and your mate to transform your pain, develop empathy, improve communication and begin moving forward. Register: rb.gy/b46vmu
DISCOVER WHAT KIND OF AFFAIR IT WAS with Affair Recovery’s free Affair Analyzer: rb.gy/wp9sjv. No two affairs are the same, and the type you’ve experienced will ultimately dictate your route to recovery. With Affair Recovery’s Affair Analyzer, you’ll answer a series of eight to 12 simple questions to determine where your experience falls in the grand scheme of over 850 outcomes. Then, begin to move forward with Affair Recovery resources, including crisis management tips, action steps and mentor videos from people who’ve been in your shoes.
KICK-START YOUR HEALING JOURNEY today by becoming a Recovery Library member: rb.gy/lykjyi. Simply choose from one of three different membership options, then begin browsing Affair Recovery’s library of more than 3,000 resources on the subject of infidelity, including robust articles, powerful mentor stories and insightful Q&A videos.
“Surviving Infidelity: 6 Things I Wish I'd Known” with Wayne Baker, Affair Recovery Specialist Panel Member: www.affairreco...
OTHER AFFAIR RECOVERY RESOURCES
Harboring Hope | Online course for hurt spouses: www.affairreco...
Hope for Healing | Online course for wayward spouses: www.affairreco...
EMS Weekend | A safe place for focused healing: www.affairreco...
EMS Online | Online course for couples to heal after infidelity: www.affairreco...
ON-CAMERA EXPERT: Wayne Baker, M.A., LPC
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This one really hit home
Sadly the intrusive thoughts are the ultimate worst. May God help us all heal from this terrible thing we call infidelity...
My therapist told me they are from trauma. So be patient & get help. Look into trauma therapy & PTSD
Trickle truth keeps you stuck, prolongs the agony and healing process and makes it much, much harder to trust again.
I show the same love to my now Ex wife. I offered counseling after her affair and to rebuild but she didn't want to. She said she couldn't fall back in love with me again and for that she was sorry. I didn't show her what she truly meant to me enough and as often as I should have and I had other faults and had realized my part and failures after the fact. But after what she done to me I still show her I care and love her tremendously but her heart is hardened and I guess I'm hanging on to something that may never be again.
Don’t blame yourself. This is sad. Her choices aren’t a reflection of you. Been there and mine was hideous. I despise her and divorced her within 65 days. Women never make it beyond the affair. Just have to let em go, because it’s almost always dead when they do it.
Thank you, Wayne. This is very good information. Basically, until the unfaithful can truly feel for the Betrayed, it will be very difficult to make good progress. In the meantime, the Betrayed can still work on some things.
My wife would spend nights on the couch talking to her "Boyfriend", while I laid in bed at night. She said I almost caught her a few times. I knew something was going on, but I was so depressed that I didn't bother to ask. I wish I would have gone with my gut and confronted her. How I found out was she came to me one day and asked if she could sleep with a guy she had been "Talking" to. I lost it. I'm 5 weeks into D-day and I'm still dumbfounded how she could do this after 18 years of marriage.
How can the unfaithful always say they never thought they would get caught? Theres like a 90% chance of getting caught at some point so does the unfaithful choose not to see that? I dont get it
I just love everything that you said here
Learned something important, the difference between the two loves, and also what it is about the illegal love that tempts spouses.
Would love to know your story. Were you and your wife able to save your marriage and how?
Both spouses need not only couples counseling to work on the marriage but each need an individual therapist or counselor or group to work through individual issues.
My situation is so different. No one seems to be able to deal with it or even believe it. I was the unfaithful and my husband actually understands why I did it. And he’s having an easier time forgiving me than I am forgiving myself. I’m the one stuck with my guilt and shame. My husband wants us both to move on in happiness. We are doing so well because, yes I strayed, but he admits he kind of stopped liking me. He purposely pushed me away to protect his own pain. I just need to forgive myself so my husband and I can stop wasting any more time on the destructive past. We aren’t trying to bury it and not deal but for us, we succeed and have good days when we leave it in the rear view mirror.
It’s really hard, but you need to forgive yourself. Once God forgives us, we need to accept the forgiveness and look ahead with hope. We all make mistakes, and we can’t change the past. All we can do is do better today. Make better choices moving forward. May God heal you, and bring you peace. God bless you- sending you a huge hug🙏🏼
Affair recovery has a system in place that will walk you BOTH through the healing process on an EMS weekend. It was hands down the best decision I've ever made for myself, my wife, and our marriage. They know what they're doing and anyone who works for the organization has to of been through and affair on either side or sometimes both. They walk with you through your journey and then set you up for the next year to keep your marriage working towards something amazing that you probably didn't even think could come out of something as painful as an affair.
You are correct, you can't forgive yourself, but you can accept forgiveness from your husband & from God. It's a grace to you.
Good morning thank you so much god bless you
What if they refuse to admit to the infidelity. I know it was an affair but he refuses to admit it
being narrow mined & NOT want to lesson and read to educate my self
My wife had an affair for 2.5 years. I found out 5 weeks ago. She won't tell me a thing, she blames me for the affair nonstop. She will not do EMS online or in person. I see no path except divorce. We have been married 33.5 years. NO HOPE!!!!!!!!!!!
40
Mine didn't learn anything as he just kept doing it