Help for the Unfaithful Spouse: Dealing with a Traumatized and Betrayed Spouse
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 14 фев 2018
- Samuel shares practical insight to help unfaithful spouses care for their traumatized mate.
- FREE Bootcamp for Surviving Infidelity: www.affairrecovery.com/surviv...
- What kind of affair was it?
Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: www.affairrecovery.com/affair...
- FREE Expert Articles & Videos: www.affairrecovery.com/free-r...
Get a Recovery Library Membership: www.affairrecovery.com/produc...
- Access 3,000+ Q&A Videos, Articles and Mentor Stories
- Get answers from 1,500+ Expert Q&A Videos (Like this one!)
- Talk with others in the private Recovery Library Forums
“The Recovery Library gave me 24/7 support because I could be up at 3am and search for the topic I was struggling with. It also helped as a couple because we could investigate topics together so it wasn’t subjective. I trusted this information because it was from professionals who also had lived through and recovered from infidelity. Double credibility in my book.”
- Amanda, Florida
HEAL with Affair Recovery:
Weekend Retreat: www.affairrecovery.com/produc...
Online Courses: www.affairrecovery.com/progra...
Hope Rising Conference: www.affairrecovery.com/hope-r...
Recovery Library: www.affairrecovery.com/produc...
Samuel is an infidelity survivor and is one of many contributors to Affair Recovery's Survivors’ Blog, www.affairrecovery.com/our-blog. He participated in Affair Recovery's courses developed by founder and infidelity expert Rick Reynolds, LCSW. After finding healing, hope, and new life, Samuel wishes to share his journey and what AffairRecovery.com has to offer with others so they too can find hope and healing.
I've lost 60 pounds in 4 months. Devastation and traumatized aren't strong enough words to describe this experience.
Acting out a fantasy in reality is real life. The consequences destroy real lives. Even if you work through it, your previous life is over in real life.
I dream of a day where my boyfriend seeks out this information on his own instead of me feeling bad for bringing things up yet still sending him videos like this out of desperation to feel I’m worth caring about.
I only have 2 emotions anymore, sadness and rage
I cry almost everyday for cheating on my spouse,it kills me and makes me imagine how much pain my spouse is going through. But,i am determined to be a better person and stay better,also help younger women not make the kind of mess i made.I thank God for making me come across these videos,they have been helpful.I pray God help my marriage during this healing process and take my guilt and shame away. God bless you.
Thank you. Never thought I'd be watching this kind of videos... I was unfaithful to my husband and even though he doesn't want to try reconciliation, I still want to do everything I can to show him that I am truly remorseful (which he also doesn't believe no matter what I do), and that I'd give my life if I could to go back and never do what I did.
Being cheated on was traumatising enough. Staying with him just re-traumatised me every day that the relationship dragged on, despite him saying sorry and acting like he was the perfect guy afterwards. He was an incredibly good actor, but I think deep down I knew he would never 100% change and it was all a lie. He could lie so well that he convinced himself, that was the problem! When he said he was sorry, it meant nothing, it wouldn't happen again, etc I think he really believed that in the moment. He knew he 'should' believe that. Except he didn't. And years later he was still cheating with someone else. He was addicted to novelty and needed that in his life. I don't hate him now. I just wish I hadn't wasted all that time with him.
I was so traumatized that I started losing my hair for 10 months. He was not the man I though he was
YES! "IT'S ONLY RIDICULOUS IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE!" EXACTLY! Thank you. You touched my soul, and brought me to tears of reality and healing ♡
Sad many husband don’t see that! 😡 seriously, affair is the most destructive thing you do to a person!! ButGod can heal anyone, I pray all the time and day to forgive my husband but is so freaking hard!!! I feel lost, hurt, he stole my self steam, my nights of sleep!’ But I’ll recover!
Seriously, the trauma symptoms last much longer than 2 to 4 months.
My children's father is doing a really good job at being accountable. We just got back together a few months ago and there's a lot of growth. For the most part we've been moving forward well but there's days when I get triggered by something I didn't even know would trigger me. I do my best to not ask anymore questions about the past because I know enough but sometimes it nags at me and I can't help but push and ask. He's been honest and I appreciate that so much because I know it's hard. I just want him to see this so he can understand that I do love him and just because I get triggered or upset doesn't mean I'm giving up or don't want to continue to fix the relationship. I just need honesty, support, reassurance and time ❤️
This is true. It's not about how trivial a mismatch in words vs reality is. It's the principle of honesty. As an unfaithful you've already shown that you are capable of being very dishonest and deceitful, so now it is imperative that you're honest and truthful as much as humanly possible so you can build that trust back.
I see mostly betrayed spouses here (in the comments section) but very little of the wayward spouses. I don't mean to be negative but its just an observation I can't avoid seeing.
I have experienced a level of pain in my heart that to me resembles grief as if someone I loved has passed away tragically. Sometimes I feel like my heart is breaking and I can’t control it. Almost like if the heart was convulsing. My husband cheated on me with a woman 20 years younger than him while I was in Brazil caring for his mom. I am grateful for this ministry. We are currently in therapy, he meets with his mentor once a week and we both decided to not consume alcohol anymore. My husband was the one who confessed being unfaithful, and alcohol has been a gateway for him acting out.
I think I have ptsd from this. He could never comprehend this pain. I can't even comprehend it. I'm so consumed by this I scare myself. It's been a week and every single thing he has done has been rubbing salt in the wound. Because it's only been for his comfort. Why should I be comforting and taking care of him? I can't take care of myself and I'm struggling being around my kids. I opened my heart and told him a few things I want him to do. He won't. Because he can't put me 1st. Never has and I doubt he ever will
Make sure Samantha knows how grateful I am for her. I’m sitting here thinking how grateful I am for what you do and how you do it Sam. Then I realize what Samantha had to endure what I’m suffering with in order that you could help so many people. These videos play on autoplay even until I fall asleep at night. You are the therapy for my PTSD. My husband is my trigger all day every day. So basically Samantha had to endure all the triggers caused by you so that you could eventually bring healing to so many others. That’s pretty awesome !
I really needed to hear this today. Last night we had an episode where we were fine for days in a row and stumbled again into sadness and restarted the conversation of "why everything happened".
Samuel, can I add that... yes, it is a big deal to the betrayed spouse to hear any falsehood, however that isn’t what would cause the spiral ... when confronting my husband about a falsehood that he may have said, I know I could have talked through it with him , but it was his defensive and condemning way he tried to shame me about “questioning him” that caused the upset, and damage.
It's been 8 years, i'm single now and i still have the trauma