This applies as well for neurodivergencies. Realizing I'm autistic forced me to be myself and allowed me to explore myself in far more depth than I would've otherwise. And yes, it does wonders for your self-esteem.
It is so true, being queer forces you to put yourself first, and not care what people think. Just accepting that the people who stay stay, and those who don't aren't worth it. This is if you're safe to come out, if you're not, I couldn't even imagine, and I really think about those people daily, they all deserve so much better. ❤
I am heterosexual so I obviously can't possibly know what the experience of being gay is, but something I've noticed as someone who often makes choices that don't conform to the gender and sexual normatives, is that my straight friends are constantly questioning why. Why you'd wear a tank-top as a man, why you'd paint your nails as a man; SO much energy is spent by straight people to stay within the norms. My LGBTQ+ friends aren't like that, they just don't gaf! and while I do try to question these norms myself, they're very ingrained in our brains and its hard. I really admire how they've liberated themselves from all these stupid arbitrary rules and they just live their lives! PS: Tee goes hard asf
Not trans, I’m bi, but LITERALLY! Being LGBTQ+ really just acts like a built-in bullet dodger! Like. I didn’t have to get involved with that because they showed their true colors right away. No messy shit. Drop kick it out of my life and walk away w/ one less person in the population who I have to decide if they’re an idiot or not.
I'm a cis male and happy with that but like if I were born as a girl I wouldn't really complain and accept that as well. I wonder if it's a common thing or do I just have trans tendencies
@@napabilirim what I like to say is. You should enjoy your gender. If you feel completely neutral about it you should look for something that brings you joy whatever that is. And remember you can always try it out. There's faceapp, trying on girl clothes or makeup just to see.
I'm very jealous of people who live in countries where gay clubs and other spaces are legal, but at the same time it makes me happy that it is possible in our world. It is kind of a dream of mine to go to a place like that. Cant imagine how amazing it feels. Knowing that somewhere else people can be openly publicly gay brings so much hope!
It's even worse when those places were legal, but they're not anymore. Feels like you're back in the closet or you'll be in serious trouble. Anyway, hope the situation is better soon for all of us❤
@@KateThunder seems like we are from the same country)) i was waiting for 18 to go to a gay club, and exactly when i was ready police broke into every known lgbt-place in my city. it is so sad that it is actually funny seems like going to gay clubs isnt pravoslavno enough for me :(((
Unfortunately, these advantages are only applicable to America and other queer friendly countries. The lives of the rest of the queer people who are criminalized in their own home countries are a complete nightmare. No perks there are.
i wouldnt call poland queer friendly, but i live there, and i find many of the advantages from videos apply. mostly these about self confidence and questioning religion. it was a rocky road but so worth it
ukraine isn’t that queer friendly, but I also find many advantages in being queer, and a lot of those from the video apply too! so it depends: in a lot of countries, even not the most progressive ones, you can still find queer life quite enjoyable
As a gay guy, ive noticed that a lot of queer people and particularly other queer men are so much more upfront and understanding of emotions. Ive had my fair share of queer best friends and straight best friends, but theres just this immediate understanding of each other with queer friends.
this is so real; i instantly get along with queer people because i can be my truly self with them and they understand quite every glance i do. i love that
I’ve been trying to make the term “gayvity” happen for years- it’s like gaydar but gravity, it refers to when all the queer people in a setting (like a school- I was at high school when the term occurred to me) become friends without even necessarily being out to each other
This effect is wild. When I was going into grade 9 I met a student who was going into grade 8 during a summer program, we liked the same game and clicked. Years later and we're both transmasc. I know more bi/pan people than straight people and another friend of mine who I've been close to for years has been questioning their gender. I met all these people through high school yet I never joined our gsa or anything it just happened.
just joined a new school.. hope this happens with me (closeted lesbian). i've become sorta friends with this one girl, we both love reading so we talk about books a lot. she likes six of crows so... but i'm also in india soo lmao
Yes! I always found that interesting. 90% of my closest friends growing up are now openly queer, and we didn't know that when we met. It's like a mystical gay magnet.
That notion of the chosen family is so vital. Queerness pushes you to be critical of how other people support or do not support you, and in turn makes you develop the strength to turn away from some and open up to others
This! Sometimes we give too much power to our family members just because we share the same blood, instead of bonding with people who are actually much more healthy for us
quite the opposite, it makes you listen only to people that hold your exact values which is a very closed off mindset which will hurt you a lot in the long run
I will always remember my brain rot cishetwyt coworker telling me "I was a part of the GSA and I can say with confidence that the LGBT don't have a culture or community" and the next week I had instantly bonded with my NB coworker and he became visibly distraught because they had grey rocked him since he joined the company lol.
At my previous job there were homophobic conversations during breaks between my (female white Catholic) supervisor and others. One of my coworkers I had quickly gotten friendly with later told me how those convos made her uncomfortable because she is bi, to which I told her me too because I'm ace! We got along even better after that. :) Another coworker I was having a friendly long phone conversation with, unprompted, started going on a rant about trans people so I didn't talk to him much after that besides for work...
I'm queer and I live in a Muslim country, so of course I've been dealing with a lot of homophobia, I'm only out to like 3 people but like hearing people talk shit about the community , even if it's not a personal attack, it still hurts a lot. This video is exactly what I needed at this time, like really it brings so much comfort and happiness, like queer positive content is really the best. Thank you so much for making this video and spreading positivity in our community because some of us really need it.
I’m not in your exact position but I grew up Muslim in an American Islamic household. Islam was so damaging to my mental health and self-esteem (not just because of homophobia either) and I left the religion at 11-years-old without telling anyone expect my closest friends. The past 8 years have been an incredible journey of self-discovery. I’ve truly freed myself from the shackles of religion, norms, and the evil of conservative ideologies that poisoned me. I wish the same privileges be afforded to you. If this requires you to leave your country, I wish you the courage and financial circumstances to do so. I don’t know if you still identify as Muslim and don’t mind if you do or not. Inshaallah my brother/sister, you will be okay. 🫶🏽🫶🏽
@@itaraaah Yeah I still do identify as Muslim, first of all even if I do live my life as my identity it won't be a problem for me because I'm homoromantic asexual, so I won't commit the actual thing that's considered a sin which is intercourse between two people of the same sex, and even if I wasn't asexual I think I probably would've given up those desires because of my religion. It's so sad to hear that Islam was so damaging to you and I'm really glad it's better now, but to me it wasn't Islam that was hurting me, (in fact it even helped me feel safe sometimes) it was most Muslim people and their hate that they see as a religious duty and as you said, the evil in their conservative ideologies. And thanks a lot for wishing me the privileges of freeing myself from those beliefs, I do plan to leave my country soon (and not only because of this too) and I hope I do get to truly live my life as myself. Thank you so much for your comment it really made me feel happier, I'm glad you're now able to live your life freely, and thank you for wishing me the same things, inshallah I'll get to that point soon.
deconstructing religion changed my life and i probably wouldnt have ever done it if i didnt question my faith when i was 13 and started liking girls :)
Samee! I was raised jewish and was fed a lot of right wing content before I started to realize I was gay. From that point on I started slowly but surely deconstructing every single thing about my religion and religion in general and also became more accepting of my queer identity. Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I never had that realization in the first place
For me it was the opposite order, but the structure of the story is almost the same. When I realized I had been raised in a cult and my life had been a lie, I fast-tracked deconstruction and became 10x better as a person. I learned to question assumptions and interrogate the roots of my beliefs. Without that, it's possible I never would have questioned my gender or allowed myself to come out, and I would have been miserable until I couldn't bear it anymore. I'm so happy with the positive turns my life has taken since leaving religion and coming out.
@@davidkonevky7372 i am also jewish (raised reform) and i had a very different experience from yours. i credit my b’nei mitzvah experience to my figuring out of my queer identity. I have heard literally nothing about the reform Jewish stance of queer people, it just wasn’t mentioned bc it’s not relevant to reform judaism at all. and my parents are not explicitly homophobic, although they have been around common misconceptions and stigmas against queer people and have subtly adopted these ideas. so in general I have heard nothing positive or negative about queer people, and I didn’t hear much at all. in my older childhood i learned about queerness outside of Judaism especially when one my friends came out as bi and eventually pan, and I easily accepted it. but around 13 years old i realized i might be non binary and was in this state of questioning, all of this leading up to my b’nei mitzvah. when my party came around i knew i was going to be perceived as a grown person of my assigned sex, which made me dysphoric the whole time. so my b’nei mitzvah helped me confirm my non-binary feelings, and today i have a great relationship with Reform Judaism. i feel like not a lot of people talk about how Reform Judaism is a safe religion for queer people because it doesn’t really give a fuck about ur gender and sexuality. therefore, i notice a lot of queer Jews who are reform or at least comfortable with nontheistic Jewish cultural and religious practices. i even know of a queer-founded reform synagogue, and queer groups are forming within reform synagogues. i am sorry that judaism negatively affected your queer experience . judaism and its stance on queerness varies from each movement and your surroundings.
I began deconstructing religion in Catholic schools when the nuns misunderstood my relationship with my best friend as a gay male affair. He's straight and I'm bi and trans. I converted to his religion, New Age until college, when I became an Atheist.
+ it's my "theory" that being queer often results in learning english as a second language way better. I'm hungarian and there's soooo little talk about nuanced lgbt+ topics that i kept seeking out content and sources in english and as i wanted to interact with the community, i got to learn and practice more. Now i am in uni with an english major.
That's such an interesting theory! I'm aroace and English also has so many more words to express affection without saying "I love you" like my native language does. So speaking English with others makes it so much easier to express my platonic love to friends
My favorite thing about it is just how much it forces you to confront broken systems. I'm bisexual, but I _bleed sapphic vibes in my _*_soul,_* so even if finding love was no object, my dilemma was never in loneliness, but embracing who I am. I feel so above all the norms that other people shackle themselves to because my choice was either to abandon them or live a perpetual lie. And as hard as it was, I'm grateful to have had that chance to spit in the eye of power. I became a much better person when I finally just stood up and said "Listen, if 'Prince Charming' wouldn't love me with a pixie cut, a lip ring, a dozen tattoos, fingerless gloves and a flannel, I don't want him."
I watched Shrek and Shrek 2 recently (weird opener i know, bear with me) and a queer reading of Fiona’s story jumped out at me. My personal context is being a sapphic bisexual person (I’m genderqueer but I look like a woman and someone who’s only attracted to men wouldn’t be attracted to me) who currently presents visibly queer and doesn’t pursue cis men, so most people assume I’m a lesbian, and even though there’s discrimination when outside queer spaces I’m much happier and less stressed now than when I passed as a straight woman and considered cis men part of my dating pool Fiona has two forms, her human form and her ogre form. Both forms are authentically Fiona, but the human form is socially acceptable while the ogre form isn’t. Once she finds true love- enters a monogamous relationship that she intends to stay in for life- only one of her forms will be visible to the world from then on. (See how this fits a bi experience?) Her parents hoped it would be her human form, but if it was her human form she would have had to walk on eggshells her entire life and perform delicate feminine politeness to earn love- her life would have been exhausting. Instead though she finds true love with Shrek (who also I will say, totally looks like a butch lesbian). And even though mainstream society shuns ogres, when she’s home in the swamp she doesn’t have to be all delicate and polite- in fact when she burps and farts and does gross ogre stuff, Shrek smiles and does the same thing and they laugh together and love each other even more. So she has more joy in this life than she ever could have had with Charming (Obviously the filmmakers didn’t think of this but it helped me understand my own experiences better)
i chuckled but then realization hit me like a truck. this reading and interpretation is great and makes sense! shrek was always about being authentic and true to yourself and your feelings, so i bet many queers can relate
I'm aroace and i definitely would not want to be straight or "normal" if i had the chance. I always hear my friends talking about relationships they had or situationships and I'm right here free being myself and silly with no care in rhe world. I'm also agender and i literally forget that gender exists sometimes, so i am lucky enough to not get gender dysphoria I love being queer and I've found myself through it, even though i know that some people in my life would not love me the same if they knew
This is literally LITERALLY EXACTLY why I love being gay. This video is giving me so much comfort. Yesterday I came out to my dad and he told me it’s ok but he is very sad I am gay and that it’s not good news for him. I felt happy but also really sad but then I woke up today and the first thing he did was tell the person he was talking to on the phone to hang on then he asked me if I’m okay and that he loves me… AAAAA
Sometimes it takes parents a while to settle in to the new information about their child. I hope they'll get better as they get used to this new knowledge.
When I realized I was bi, I really had to analyze my religion more since I no longer fit into the Bible’s norms. I honestly believe that I’m closer to God now because of it, it really made me realize how much of Christianity is just unnecessary fluff.
I was lucky enough to grow up in an lgbt+ friendly church. Faith as I got to know it was never about rules we had to follow and always about grace, community and hope. Like in your case, discovering my identity led me closer to God.
Truth! I feel like half of Jesus's point was, if you can follow all these rules and keep yourself 'pure' and look good to society, YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT.
True! I'm currently re-thinking a lot of things in my Christianity cus ive always heard about it from my Christian parents and people in my chirch but ive never looked into it myself. After learning about how homophobic and misogynistic some Christians can be it made me really upset but now im learning that being a Christian isnt about being the perfect straight person others might want me to be, to me it's about believing in God, learning about the bible and trying my best to live with good morals and be a loving person. Its just kind of hard to do when others dont seem to be so loving ';-;
being queer is awesome not only because of these points that i do mostly resonate with but DISCOVERING YOURSELF IS GOLDEN like hell self discovery is hard but so fucking liberating cause I KNOW WHO I AM NOW!!!
I spent almost 50 miserable years until I learned/understood that gender identity had no relationship to sexual identity. I knew I was somehow different by the time I was 5, but that was in 1958 and back then if you were a girl you were supposed to be interested in boys, and I hated boys. I could not stand to be around them, wasn't interested in the things they wanted to do, and wasn't allowed to be where I wanted to be. It only took one line in a psychological text I was reading to turn my whole world right side up. "40% of MtF transsexuals identify as lesbian after transitioning". I think I sat in the corner of that library weeping tears of joy for half an hour re-reading that one line, because suddenly my world made sense for the first time in 42 years. Yes, discovering yourself is golden. Learning to accept and love the person you see in the mirror is a divine blessing.
one advantage of being bisexual I noticed in my experience is seeing beauty in various kinds of women in their bodies and faces and style and personalities which in turn made me accept myself the way I am and see myself as belonging among them
I think being queer and most importantly openly queer is what made my life much more interesting and happy. Was it a challenge to get to that position? Absolutely, but I if I had the option to turn straight I wouldn't take it. 2023 was the happiest year of my life and that's the year I came out. That's the year I fostered a group of friends, I worked on my self-confidence, FINALLY felt like I was loveable, got a partner, and much more. Of course it's not a perfect story because I'm still working on my self image, specially after breaking up. But even then I can recognize that this version of myself is miles ahead of that confused boy who had to deal with the expectation from my masculine groups, consuming "self improvement" toxic masculinity content, and didn't hang out with anybody because of a lack of true bonds and terrible anxiety issues. Not to mention also the fact that I couldn't talk about ANYTHING because all of my interests and hyperfixationsrevolved around things that were considered feminine, so I had to keep them buried in my own head.
Yes I’m gay with four homophobic siblings. When I finally understood and accepted my queerness I realized I struggled with growing as a person and forming friend groups because all of my interests were feminine or queer. I’m just now learning how to dress, what style I like, and how I want to present myself to the world, because my mind was queer but I was told to be straight
my (very gay) dad always says that queer people tend to be wiser than cishet people, because growing up with all of these weird emotions teaches you how to look inward and interrogate yourself to find out what you truly want in life.
Saying that diversity hiring practices are an advantage is hilarious when you consider the fact that the chance of getting hired decrease at most places you apply to. As a trans person who doesn't pass super well, I can't get any jobs, or even interviews, this makes my confidence drop into the fucking abyss as well. So it's like a triple negative point, it does not make up for anything imo.
Im not gonna lie, im a lesbian Christian as well and its hard man 😅especially when it comes to my beliefs. I believe in God all the way but some things the Bible and other fellow Christians say I just don’t agree with..at some point it even made me question my identity. At some point I just started believing everything in the Bible BUT what it says about gays and stuff👍🏼I don’t know what was the point of writing this but I send prayers to all my other Gay Christians out there bro🫶🏼good luck. (This was a great video too Claire. Thank you for sharing :) )
Sorry in advance for possibly intrusive questions, but why do you believe? How? My parents never talked to me about religion, I didn't have any religious friends or even acquaintances, so the whole concept is so incredibly alien to me that I can't even empathize with religious experience
For me, I believe because I’ve seen gods work been done in my life. I’m not saying my life is all sunshine and rainbows like how people think it would be, but I’ve been the hardest of spots before and just the act of praying for help has gotten me out of those moments. I wouldn’t consider myself super religious but I do believe in God and his power. It sickens me tho when I see “Christians” pushing a false narrative onto others and hating on minorities. It literally says in the Bible to be nice to people, and nice things will happen to you. So just don’t be an A-hole.
@@Zoey_the_Rat Which sounds more like a fairytale? 1: An all-powerful being created us. 2: We are the result of the complete randomness of the universe. 3: Several powerful beings created us. 4: We all came from an explosion. 5: Aliens created us. 6: We never existed in the first place? 7: We all came from a bagel. Trick question; they're all fairytales. It's not really a case of "religious VS non-religious"- everyone has to face the questions of how we began and how we will end. It's just a case of which fairytale you believe is more plausible. Unless I have slightly misunderstood your question, in which case the answer is just "people raised in a culture follow that culture".
If you're a baby queer, and you're having trouble finding gay groups or are scared because the place you are in is hostile to gay people... Seek us, the furries out. The fandom is overwhelmingly queer, 70ish% and out straight members are overwhelmingly supportive. Your presence in our space is welcomed, we want to be your friend and will happily help you enter the primary gay scene like a lion. In person, or if you're still too shy you can find us in most places of the internet. We're here for you.
it took me a long time to figure out my identity. i came out to my parents as mlm in 2021, thinking that it fit me, and they accepted that. since then i have gone through a lot of growth, and im still living at home knowing that im a trans girl and a lesbian, and even though my parents were accepting they've been actively transphobic to others, and i dont think i can live with being perceived as a guy for much longer. sometimes being queer sucks so hard but this really does make me appreciate what we have.
You got this, sister! Escaping parents feels so good. Even though the economy is hard, it's better (and mentally easier!) to suffer while living authentically than suffer while hiding yourself.
Also I have a bit of an inverse experience, first identifying as lesbian, but now knowing I'm a trans man, aromantic, and functionally gay due to trauma regarding my mom. One difference being my parents were never accepting of anything I came out as, and I know my mom's modern "acceptance" of me as a man is a lie.
On the finale note, I told a coworker in a conversation kinda like this "We can walk into a room of people we've never met before and ill already be friends with a third of them"
I'm straight (but demisexual) and I have a lot of queer friends. I love how non judgemental they are and how little they care about following societial conventions and the like. Also it's fun to listen to their experiences to see how different people can be; it's given me a lot of food for thought.
your point about how coming out can show someones true character holds a lot of water i think because obviously someone who is cis/het gets literally nothing from not being homophobic or a white person gets nothing for being anti-racist, its purely up to their own moral code and standards for being a decent human in that they make the *active choice* to be a decent human. someone who _is_ racist, homophobic, transphobic etc: actively gain a false sense of security and pride in themselves for being "normal" and in a lot of places, are rewarded for being "against the woke mob" or whatever that crowd are pushing these days. so overall, to be an ally when you aren't in the group affected by the bigotry speeks wonders about you as an individual and your own willingness to put justice and a sense of the right thing over ego and pride. happy pride month everyone, hope you're all doing well.
Gradually peeling myself out of the closet decades late, I've been bowled over by how welcoming people have been in my local queer community when I started going to a grassroots community group and checking out some local venues. It's not that we don't have problems with people behaving in toxic ways, cos in any social circle you'll get individuals behaving badly, but overall I've experienced a really strong ethos of people looking out for each other. And I do think that it's because everyone knows what it is not to be able to take support for granted. This is a very traditional place, and while attitudes are changing, people my age (I'm a millennial, at the old end of that age group) and older especially have tended to grow up very isolated and amid a lot of ignorance. It's also why we feel so strongly about making things easier for the generations below us - we don't want anyone else to grow up like we did, or to go through what has sometimes been many years of questioning and self-denial.
Y'all ever have someone tell you your sexuality "isn't real"? Yeah, being part of the community is difficult sometimes... it's great to see that people in the comments are so positive, really brings a smile to my face! :)
Or that your sexuality “is a choice.” When do heterosexuals “choose” to be heterosexual? Those few people who are close to 50:50 bisexual/biromantic might actually be making be making a choice, but the rest of us queers are just living with the hand that we were dealt.
claire im new to the channel im a straight presenting bisexual man who has had the privilege of not being perceived as lgbt but i still stick up for the struggle and have my own little network of trusted friends who likewise, understand the struggle . im subbed and locked in now keep this content coming i dig it
Unironically true. The homophobia and misogyny holds yall dudes back so dang much from ur full potential. Plus like, yall gotta start realizing how insulting and dehumanizing it is to yalls feminine partners to treat the whole female gender as something so disgusting and belittling for ya, that even stuff like holding her purse for a minute turns dudes stomach. Like yall are literally treating what is supposed to be the loves of your lives like they're diseased. Stop that.
i'm in my first ever lesbian relationship at 22 and i think that point about gender roles goes even further. having to have those conversations (about how out we are, our families, the quirks the trauma of being gay in this world has given each of us) has given us such a good precedent for communication. being intentional and thoughtful spreads to all aspects of our relationship.
I think it's fair what you said about being queer being something that can help you get jobs, I'm sure it happens to people who are looking for formal companies or people on big cities, but for me and many people on different types of work and places, it's the opposite. I'm a teacher for kindergarden and if my boss knew I was gay, I'm pretty sure she'd fire me, specially since I deal with young kids and there's a lot of stigma related to queer people "making kids gay and pushing their gayness down their throats" or whatever. Also, my boss is very conservative and also racist (she doesn't let the kids colour skin in brown or black, which is absurd). And I mean, it's not like I would go about telling everyone at work I'm gay if I could, but just having to hide it to keep my job kinda sucks. I live in a medium and very conservative town, and this is quite normal in here.
As a bi girlie this really hit home, especially the part about chosen family and tight-knit friend groups! Sooo many of my friends are queer and I wouldn't change them for the world
“Religion, Yep I said it r word wait no wrong r word” LMAO I loved that line. I had questioned and left my cult before I discovered my identity as a bisexual trans woman, it had made questioning my identity much easier then it would have been if I was still in my old cult.
Point 1 is such a good point and something I’ve never thought about. I’m really hard to embarrass and I give very few shits about what people think of me and have never considered that it could be to do with being a lesbian and accepting being different or embarrassing early on
As a 71 year old gay English man who was in a 40 year relationship, you have worked it out at such a young age, keep pushing and have a beautiful life, take care of each other 🏳️🌈
I love this! Thank you so much for making it. You put into words a lot of the things that I've been trying to articulate for years. Being gay is good actually! It's not just "okay" or "acceptable," but should be celebrated! Queering is all about challenging preconceived norms, asking critical questions about yourself and your society, which ultimately makes us more informed and empathetic people. There's been this emphasis on the idea that being gay is not a choice and that we're just "born this way," but as folks have been pointing out lately, we don't need to have been born this way for being gay to still be a totally valid and actually awesome way of living.
I'm SO glad i found a video that addresses these things, especially the gender norms! Though I may seem very butch and protective to a lot of people, I still want someone to hold me and see me as someone who needs to be protected. Shoutout to all the other Bisexuals!
dude i don't have any social media right now because i'm working on my bachelors degree so no distractions and i love that i can still see content from you here on youtube, thanks for the videos, love the vibes
It makes me so happy to see an entire comment section who just agrees with me and is proud of being queer, I cannot explain how happy it makes me feel to see so many queer people, no its literally making me like cry like we are such a powerful group of people just because of how kind we our to eachother and how accepting we our of just being human beings. I think the whole world would be so much better if we just did this, if we just accepted people instead of pushing them in boxes.
I’m not lgbtq in any way, I live in the US, and I hate how attacked the LGBTQ community is. If project 2025 happens, this country’s fucked. Please know, a lot of people here are assholes, terrible, and bigoted, but people here love you. We support you, you are loved.
I am so thankful I found out I'm a lesbian, because it confirmed that im not broken. Only dating men made me feel like love was something I would never experience, which was crushing to go through again and again. Now I know i still have a chance to love and be loved! (if finding a girlfriend wasnt impossible where im at lol) Thank you so much for this video, you made so many great points!
With the religion aspect- it kinda depends on what sort of religious people you're surrounded by, as I'm super queer but also a very strong Christian, I'm out to my parents who are also Christian (my dad's a pastor) and they're not supportive of all of my relationships but are supportive of me being queer, and my Christian friends are all either queer or allies. I think deconstructing religion and why many religious people think certain ways is important, I want to do more research into that, but that doesn't necessarily mean someone must deny religion because they're queer if they don't want to
That's so true. When you're queer and religious/black (me) you'll be forced to confront some harsh realities about the world we live in that will leave you personally invested in the fight for equality and a fair shot at life. It's not just something in a history book, it's lived experience, and luckily you're not alone
Also having learned about the uneven split of labor between men and women, where women have most of the invisible labor, ie house work, and men have only visible labor, ie paid work, and then finding out that queer relationships don't have this assumed division of labor, and that it gives both parties more energy and more agency in their lives, I think it's a big plus to being queer. I think the sharing of household chores is partially why queer relationships seem so dream-like and unrealistic to straight women.
I was self employed doing home repairs and remodeling. After doing a few jobs for gay couples I established a relationship in the queer community. People knowing I did good work and would not judge their lifestyle kept me steadily employed. For 17 years nearly every job I got was from people who heard about me from people in the queer community.
Pro: Realizing I was aroace was the key to everything: self-confidence and acceptance, deconstructing everything from gender and gender norms to allosexuality/amatonormativity, to patriarchy. It allowed me to look into the mirror and finally be at peace with myself: like 5000lbs taken off my shoulders. Con: Around 24y.o. it seems people have no personality or interest besides dating and it's exhausting.
my authenticity levels are chaotically powerful. being nonbinary and taking hrt, being witchferal and walking my path, and fiercely confronting the world as my clownic clovergender self have each brought me closer to recognizing myself in the mirror. i can't be repressed under any threat or force now, and i have hope for a future that's better for everyone
@@TheParklifeChoseMe its something i reclaimed from a bad-faith troll campaign started by 4chan. my gender involves being multiple internal ages and being attracted to people who love kids, and i just resonate with the clover 🍀
i don't know who you are and don't comment often, but i want to boost this because it is so wholesome and true and just only very real advantages of being queer which i know some more people need to hear being queer can be hard sometimes and coming to terms with it isn't that easy for everyone but it is such a great and pure experience that i wouldn't want to trade with any other thing any day
after coming out as trans, my confidence absolutely skyrocketed. you need enough courage and self-love to admit to yourself and others who you are, so with coming out, you just become the best version of yourself, and it's amazing and so worth it. it's also insane how it changes your view of the world and the people in it.
number 3 spoke to me. i grew up in a mormon household with parents who neglected and abused myself and my sister after we both came out and left the church. having all that shit happens showed me the truth of religion, and jump started my journey of self discovery. im glad more and more people are opening up about this sort of thing!
I love how much I have in common with my lesbian friends as a bi man: potted plants, rescue dogs, Taylor Schilling, homesteading, women, gay stuff, a general distrust of men, it is uncanny
@@artaquino6388 a straight women can have a distrust of men. a bi man can prefer women. a bi man can have a distrust of men. distrust does not mean hate or the absence of attraction.
As a gay man over twice your age, I applaud you and this video. I think the best thing about being gay (aside from the obvious) is that we get to be who we are, and we get to meet the most interesting and talented people. Many of my straight ally friends are truly fabulous, but most other straight folks are boring as sh*t and have nothing interesting about them. As much as the haters would wish we didn't exist, their lives would be so much less enriched if it wasn't for our contribution to culture as a whole.
straight people are who they are too. straight people are just as interesting and talented as gay people. and no, most straight people are not boring. hating on straight people is JUST as bad as hating on gay people. this is not the kind of representation the queer community needs.
I think an important addendum to your point about being authentic is definitely that trans people experience this to an even greater degree than the rest of the queer community, like having an even more core part of your identity be different is such a formative experience, especially with the insane amount of harassment, hate, and violence trans people face nowadays.
The chosen family thing is so true cause when youve been marginalized for just existing for all your life, when you find your people it becomes so much deeper than the typical "friendships" society has, i swear its deeper than most people family bonds honestly.
Long and sappy comment beware! About two years ago I met my best friend, who has absolutely saved my life multiple times. They’re the most amazing person I know, and considering we’re both semi closeted and closeted to most family, we became friends over that shared experience. We’re both still in the closet enough to be very weary coming out to others IRL, so we’ve been a complete lifeline for each other. I love them to death. The past couple years since coming to terms with my gender/sexuality have been really up and down, but the worst part has been the isolation. The feeling of being surrounded by people but none of them know who you really are, and if they did none of them could relate. I’m so glad you mentioned that in the video, because queer friends really are amazing. In some cases, they can quite literally save your life. Lots of love to my fellow queers, and happy pride, especially to those celebrating while in the closet :)
Love the video! The sense of freedom you get with this stuff is real. I'm raised Catholic. Since I moved out right before covid, I've been on a bit of a journey learning what all there is out there. A huge turning point in it was finding Jaiden Animation's video called "Being Not Straight," where she talks about being Aro/Ace. So many things clicked into place in my head when she explained what it meant, and suddenly, a lot of feelings made sense to me. Since then, I've made huge progress in understanding who I am and how I work. Had I never seen that video, I would be way behind where I am now on understanding myself - and not just in the "who I'm into or not" department. I also found that I'm a furry a little under 6 months ago, which has been a whole ton of fun and has led to some new friendships. But most importantly, these past few months have given me that freeing dose of self-confidence mentioned early in the vid. It's not that I hated myself before - I was really just neutral, if a bit unsure of things. But now I really do feel content with myself :) My mom and I get along pretty well, and I'm confident she does love me unconditionally. I have a couple cousins who are gay, and she treats them just the same as anyone else, even if she wishes they weren't gay. It's not ideal, but it's preferable that she wants the best for them versus hating them for being who they are. I explained Aro/Ace to her in general terms, and it went well. Idk about the furry stuff, though, as it's a bit more "out there" than not wanting a partner. I truly feel for people whose family hates them. My roommate (transfem) is unfortunately in that sort of boat. I do what I can to support her, but it's a tough thing.
I think there's also some benefit in political mindedness. It's a lot harder to become radicalized if you have been through an experience of personal marginalization (eg. being kicked out).
no. was very discouraging to a young trans gay person. she talked about gay people not being able to have unexpected pregnancies, which invalidated my gender and sexuality.
I find it genuinely fun and interesting when people say queer folk travel in packs, because (at least in my experience) it’s so true! My closest friend group over the span of about a decade all came out as queer, one by one, to the point where I became the token cis straight friend… and then later came out as queer lmao. Found family fr :)
7:43 - I mean, that's part of the foundation of intersectionality. It can be a foundation for otherwise unrealised empathy for others. While your particular set of identifies might not translate you can at least take them as a basis for doing your best by others with the understanding that you will screw up and the hope that others understand you'll learn.
Thank you for this video! The first two points especially hit personal, since I'm a person who's VERY dependent on people's opinion. But being queer automatically means you have no choice but to be brave and not care what other people think of you, if you want to live a happy life. And yes, it makes you more empathetic, only then I realised how hard life is for the marginalised groups when I found myself belonging to one. Also, I'm really happy for queer people who can be out and proud, but that's kinda hard when being queer is literally a crime in your country, so I sympathize with everyone who's in the same situation💔
"being gay [queer] forces you to be authentic, which is the gateway to confidence"
This is so true!
hell yeah! thank you!
This applies as well for neurodivergencies. Realizing I'm autistic forced me to be myself and allowed me to explore myself in far more depth than I would've otherwise. And yes, it does wonders for your self-esteem.
@@xabieraldeabehal3425agreed!
gay is a sexuality queer is the umbrella term
It is so true, being queer forces you to put yourself first, and not care what people think. Just accepting that the people who stay stay, and those who don't aren't worth it. This is if you're safe to come out, if you're not, I couldn't even imagine, and I really think about those people daily, they all deserve so much better. ❤
I am heterosexual so I obviously can't possibly know what the experience of being gay is, but something I've noticed as someone who often makes choices that don't conform to the gender and sexual normatives, is that my straight friends are constantly questioning why. Why you'd wear a tank-top as a man, why you'd paint your nails as a man; SO much energy is spent by straight people to stay within the norms. My LGBTQ+ friends aren't like that, they just don't gaf! and while I do try to question these norms myself, they're very ingrained in our brains and its hard. I really admire how they've liberated themselves from all these stupid arbitrary rules and they just live their lives!
PS: Tee goes hard asf
Trying to explain why the rules don’t matter is so exhausting!! Love this comment, keep doing your own thing!
hell yeah!! i feel like once you're a little unconventional in one way, a lot of other social norms just unravel too. thanks!
Thank you, you reminded me to repaint my nails
@@classlessacts3535 same 🤣💅 they gonna be rain bow #pridemonth
YAEEEEEEEEES
Glad being trans means most guys and girls who suck would probably reject me outright anyway. Their loss
Yeahhhh
ooooo i like your mindset !
Not trans, I’m bi, but LITERALLY! Being LGBTQ+ really just acts like a built-in bullet dodger! Like. I didn’t have to get involved with that because they showed their true colors right away. No messy shit. Drop kick it out of my life and walk away w/ one less person in the population who I have to decide if they’re an idiot or not.
I'm a cis male and happy with that but like if I were born as a girl I wouldn't really complain and accept that as well. I wonder if it's a common thing or do I just have trans tendencies
@@napabilirim what I like to say is. You should enjoy your gender. If you feel completely neutral about it you should look for something that brings you joy whatever that is. And remember you can always try it out. There's faceapp, trying on girl clothes or makeup just to see.
I'm very jealous of people who live in countries where gay clubs and other spaces are legal, but at the same time it makes me happy that it is possible in our world. It is kind of a dream of mine to go to a place like that. Cant imagine how amazing it feels. Knowing that somewhere else people can be openly publicly gay brings so much hope!
I hope you get to experience it someday!
@@katnisseverdeen5466 Thank you!❤️
It's even worse when those places were legal, but they're not anymore. Feels like you're back in the closet or you'll be in serious trouble. Anyway, hope the situation is better soon for all of us❤
Same
@@KateThunder seems like we are from the same country)) i was waiting for 18 to go to a gay club, and exactly when i was ready police broke into every known lgbt-place in my city. it is so sad that it is actually funny
seems like going to gay clubs isnt pravoslavno enough for me :(((
For me, my trans identity forced me out of the Andrew tate-ish reich wing cult, so, a big plus
slay !!
same, the far-right to trans pipeline is real
@@vasa4527 lol , i love redemption arcs (a little iffy to call it that when referring to real people but eh , for lack of a better term)
@@vasa4527 more like closeted trans without knowledge of what it is to far-right
WOOO! That is amazing. :3
i love being queer, fr, if i had the chance to be straight I DEFINITELY wouldn't take it
I would choose to be straight woman, not a straigh man. Which...would be me if I was trans, so...maybe that means something about my gender identity
Frlll same
meeeeee
i think i would, i love and accept it now but life would be so much easier
As a straight person i wish i was aroace tbh
Unfortunately, these advantages are only applicable to America and other queer friendly countries. The lives of the rest of the queer people who are criminalized in their own home countries are a complete nightmare. No perks there are.
i wouldnt call poland queer friendly, but i live there, and i find many of the advantages from videos apply. mostly these about self confidence and questioning religion. it was a rocky road but so worth it
Of course, it's a balance of knowing our privileges yet still fighting for those who don't have them.
very true! good point!
@@blackthornbark i'm from poland too and i agree!!
ukraine isn’t that queer friendly, but I also find many advantages in being queer, and a lot of those from the video apply too! so it depends: in a lot of countries, even not the most progressive ones, you can still find queer life quite enjoyable
I LOVE THE GAY COMMUNITY, that section abt chosen family got me tearing up
gotta protect our allies, stay strong fr
it's SPECIAL!
Not just the gays, the entire lgbtqia+ community is about chosen family and making a community in spite of the world, I love this community so much!!!
I legit thougt you meant the podcast. Much love for Mak, Alayna and Ashley 😂❤
you mean lgbt community right?gya is just one community
As a gay guy, ive noticed that a lot of queer people and particularly other queer men are so much more upfront and understanding of emotions. Ive had my fair share of queer best friends and straight best friends, but theres just this immediate understanding of each other with queer friends.
this is so real; i instantly get along with queer people because i can be my truly self with them and they understand quite every glance i do. i love that
This is why queer people are so unique and interesting as people.
Absolutely
I've also made that observation. They're also more creative than the average person.
I’ve been trying to make the term “gayvity” happen for years- it’s like gaydar but gravity, it refers to when all the queer people in a setting (like a school- I was at high school when the term occurred to me) become friends without even necessarily being out to each other
This effect is wild. When I was going into grade 9 I met a student who was going into grade 8 during a summer program, we liked the same game and clicked. Years later and we're both transmasc. I know more bi/pan people than straight people and another friend of mine who I've been close to for years has been questioning their gender. I met all these people through high school yet I never joined our gsa or anything it just happened.
just joined a new school.. hope this happens with me (closeted lesbian). i've become sorta friends with this one girl, we both love reading so we talk about books a lot. she likes six of crows so... but i'm also in india soo lmao
Yes! I always found that interesting. 90% of my closest friends growing up are now openly queer, and we didn't know that when we met. It's like a mystical gay magnet.
I am sooo gonna use this
MAN GAYVITY IS WILD, jus found out my childhood friend is lesbian N IT TURNS OUT I AM TOO, now we get to fangirl over tv celebs together !!
That notion of the chosen family is so vital. Queerness pushes you to be critical of how other people support or do not support you, and in turn makes you develop the strength to turn away from some and open up to others
This! Sometimes we give too much power to our family members just because we share the same blood, instead of bonding with people who are actually much more healthy for us
well said !
quite the opposite, it makes you listen only to people that hold your exact values which is a very closed off mindset which will hurt you a lot in the long run
You don't gotta be gay to stop hanging with people you don't like 🙄
@@joyhally7754 I know right, what is this person on about
I will always remember my brain rot cishetwyt coworker telling me "I was a part of the GSA and I can say with confidence that the LGBT don't have a culture or community" and the next week I had instantly bonded with my NB coworker and he became visibly distraught because they had grey rocked him since he joined the company lol.
At my previous job there were homophobic conversations during breaks between my (female white Catholic) supervisor and others. One of my coworkers I had quickly gotten friendly with later told me how those convos made her uncomfortable because she is bi, to which I told her me too because I'm ace! We got along even better after that. :)
Another coworker I was having a friendly long phone conversation with, unprompted, started going on a rant about trans people so I didn't talk to him much after that besides for work...
lol that coworker is a dumbass
I'm queer and I live in a Muslim country, so of course I've been dealing with a lot of homophobia, I'm only out to like 3 people but like hearing people talk shit about the community , even if it's not a personal attack, it still hurts a lot. This video is exactly what I needed at this time, like really it brings so much comfort and happiness, like queer positive content is really the best. Thank you so much for making this video and spreading positivity in our community because some of us really need it.
I hope your able to find more people who can support you. Love is love
I’m not in your exact position but I grew up Muslim in an American Islamic household. Islam was so damaging to my mental health and self-esteem (not just because of homophobia either) and I left the religion at 11-years-old without telling anyone expect my closest friends.
The past 8 years have been an incredible journey of self-discovery. I’ve truly freed myself from the shackles of religion, norms, and the evil of conservative ideologies that poisoned me. I wish the same privileges be afforded to you. If this requires you to leave your country, I wish you the courage and financial circumstances to do so.
I don’t know if you still identify as Muslim and don’t mind if you do or not. Inshaallah my brother/sister, you will be okay. 🫶🏽🫶🏽
@@itaraaah Yeah I still do identify as Muslim, first of all even if I do live my life as my identity it won't be a problem for me because I'm homoromantic asexual, so I won't commit the actual thing that's considered a sin which is intercourse between two people of the same sex, and even if I wasn't asexual I think I probably would've given up those desires because of my religion. It's so sad to hear that Islam was so damaging to you and I'm really glad it's better now, but to me it wasn't Islam that was hurting me, (in fact it even helped me feel safe sometimes) it was most Muslim people and their hate that they see as a religious duty and as you said, the evil in their conservative ideologies. And thanks a lot for wishing me the privileges of freeing myself from those beliefs, I do plan to leave my country soon (and not only because of this too) and I hope I do get to truly live my life as myself. Thank you so much for your comment it really made me feel happier, I'm glad you're now able to live your life freely, and thank you for wishing me the same things, inshallah I'll get to that point soon.
@@selim6540random question and i hope you don’t mind me asking, but are you from turkey ?
@@angelheartzz6350 Nope, and I don't mind you asking, I'm from Tunisia
deconstructing religion changed my life and i probably wouldnt have ever done it if i didnt question my faith when i was 13 and started liking girls :)
Samee! I was raised jewish and was fed a lot of right wing content before I started to realize I was gay. From that point on I started slowly but surely deconstructing every single thing about my religion and religion in general and also became more accepting of my queer identity. Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I never had that realization in the first place
For me it was the opposite order, but the structure of the story is almost the same. When I realized I had been raised in a cult and my life had been a lie, I fast-tracked deconstruction and became 10x better as a person. I learned to question assumptions and interrogate the roots of my beliefs. Without that, it's possible I never would have questioned my gender or allowed myself to come out, and I would have been miserable until I couldn't bear it anymore. I'm so happy with the positive turns my life has taken since leaving religion and coming out.
@@davidkonevky7372 i am also jewish (raised reform) and i had a very different experience from yours. i credit my b’nei mitzvah experience to my figuring out of my queer identity. I have heard literally nothing about the reform Jewish stance of queer people, it just wasn’t mentioned bc it’s not relevant to reform judaism at all. and my parents are not explicitly homophobic, although they have been around common misconceptions and stigmas against queer people and have subtly adopted these ideas. so in general I have heard nothing positive or negative about queer people, and I didn’t hear much at all. in my older childhood i learned about queerness outside of Judaism especially when one my friends came out as bi and eventually pan, and I easily accepted it. but around 13 years old i realized i might be non binary and was in this state of questioning, all of this leading up to my b’nei mitzvah. when my party came around i knew i was going to be perceived as a grown person of my assigned sex, which made me dysphoric the whole time. so my b’nei mitzvah helped me confirm my non-binary feelings, and today i have a great relationship with Reform Judaism. i feel like not a lot of people talk about how Reform Judaism is a safe religion for queer people because it doesn’t really give a fuck about ur gender and sexuality. therefore, i notice a lot of queer Jews who are reform or at least comfortable with nontheistic Jewish cultural and religious practices. i even know of a queer-founded reform synagogue, and queer groups are forming within reform synagogues.
i am sorry that judaism negatively affected your queer experience . judaism and its stance on queerness varies from each movement and your surroundings.
I began deconstructing religion in Catholic schools when the nuns misunderstood my relationship with my best friend as a gay male affair. He's straight and I'm bi and trans. I converted to his religion, New Age until college, when I became an Atheist.
Same
+ it's my "theory" that being queer often results in learning english as a second language way better. I'm hungarian and there's soooo little talk about nuanced lgbt+ topics that i kept seeking out content and sources in english and as i wanted to interact with the community, i got to learn and practice more. Now i am in uni with an english major.
Thats wild but so true
That's such an interesting theory! I'm aroace and English also has so many more words to express affection without saying "I love you" like my native language does. So speaking English with others makes it so much easier to express my platonic love to friends
@@Alicia-zf3nq yes! I often explain my complicated feelings in english. Also, hi spectrum friend, i'm demiromantic demisexual^^
this is actually so true tho
I think generally being made to feel left out makes you want to explore the world a bit more and pushes you to learn other languages
My favorite thing about it is just how much it forces you to confront broken systems. I'm bisexual, but I _bleed sapphic vibes in my _*_soul,_* so even if finding love was no object, my dilemma was never in loneliness, but embracing who I am. I feel so above all the norms that other people shackle themselves to because my choice was either to abandon them or live a perpetual lie. And as hard as it was, I'm grateful to have had that chance to spit in the eye of power. I became a much better person when I finally just stood up and said "Listen, if 'Prince Charming' wouldn't love me with a pixie cut, a lip ring, a dozen tattoos, fingerless gloves and a flannel, I don't want him."
i feel this comment so much
I watched Shrek and Shrek 2 recently (weird opener i know, bear with me) and a queer reading of Fiona’s story jumped out at me. My personal context is being a sapphic bisexual person (I’m genderqueer but I look like a woman and someone who’s only attracted to men wouldn’t be attracted to me) who currently presents visibly queer and doesn’t pursue cis men, so most people assume I’m a lesbian, and even though there’s discrimination when outside queer spaces I’m much happier and less stressed now than when I passed as a straight woman and considered cis men part of my dating pool
Fiona has two forms, her human form and her ogre form. Both forms are authentically Fiona, but the human form is socially acceptable while the ogre form isn’t. Once she finds true love- enters a monogamous relationship that she intends to stay in for life- only one of her forms will be visible to the world from then on. (See how this fits a bi experience?) Her parents hoped it would be her human form, but if it was her human form she would have had to walk on eggshells her entire life and perform delicate feminine politeness to earn love- her life would have been exhausting. Instead though she finds true love with Shrek (who also I will say, totally looks like a butch lesbian). And even though mainstream society shuns ogres, when she’s home in the swamp she doesn’t have to be all delicate and polite- in fact when she burps and farts and does gross ogre stuff, Shrek smiles and does the same thing and they laugh together and love each other even more. So she has more joy in this life than she ever could have had with Charming
(Obviously the filmmakers didn’t think of this but it helped me understand my own experiences better)
i chuckled but then realization hit me like a truck. this reading and interpretation is great and makes sense! shrek was always about being authentic and true to yourself and your feelings, so i bet many queers can relate
Shrek truly can be interpreted in so many ways, love this
You hit the nail!!!!!! Another reason to like shrek
ohmy god butch lesbian shrek
btuch lesbian shrek is just crazy thank you for this revelation - from atmasc leasbian
I'm aroace and i definitely would not want to be straight or "normal" if i had the chance. I always hear my friends talking about relationships they had or situationships and I'm right here free being myself and silly with no care in rhe world. I'm also agender and i literally forget that gender exists sometimes, so i am lucky enough to not get gender dysphoria
I love being queer and I've found myself through it, even though i know that some people in my life would not love me the same if they knew
I'm also aroace and I totally agree ! :) romantic relationships sound so confusing and hearbreaking and Im glad I dont have to deal with it 💜🤍🖤💚
Dude, I am in the exact same boat. Or shall I say plane cause we’re flying high
oh my god are you me??
also woah basil omori spotted
@@scrungler_boinbus i love basil:D
both are not that different
This is literally LITERALLY EXACTLY why I love being gay. This video is giving me so much comfort.
Yesterday I came out to my dad and he told me it’s ok but he is very sad I am gay and that it’s not good news for him. I felt happy but also really sad but then I woke up today and the first thing he did was tell the person he was talking to on the phone to hang on then he asked me if I’m okay and that he loves me… AAAAA
aweeeeee, congrats on coming out
@@claire_holt12 thank you
good grief, i was prepared for the worse... your parents are great
Sometimes it takes parents a while to settle in to the new information about their child. I hope they'll get better as they get used to this new knowledge.
are you a gay guy?
omg that's actually true like being gay as well. made me realized about how things are so fucked up with religion and beliefs
I sincerely do love being a lesbian.
When I realized I was bi, I really had to analyze my religion more since I no longer fit into the Bible’s norms. I honestly believe that I’m closer to God now because of it, it really made me realize how much of Christianity is just unnecessary fluff.
I was lucky enough to grow up in an lgbt+ friendly church. Faith as I got to know it was never about rules we had to follow and always about grace, community and hope. Like in your case, discovering my identity led me closer to God.
Truth! I feel like half of Jesus's point was, if you can follow all these rules and keep yourself 'pure' and look good to society, YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT.
True! I'm currently re-thinking a lot of things in my Christianity cus ive always heard about it from my Christian parents and people in my chirch but ive never looked into it myself. After learning about how homophobic and misogynistic some Christians can be it made me really upset but now im learning that being a Christian isnt about being the perfect straight person others might want me to be, to me it's about believing in God, learning about the bible and trying my best to live with good morals and be a loving person. Its just kind of hard to do when others dont seem to be so loving ';-;
being queer is awesome not only because of these points that i do mostly resonate with but DISCOVERING YOURSELF IS GOLDEN
like hell self discovery is hard but so fucking liberating cause I KNOW WHO I AM NOW!!!
I spent almost 50 miserable years until I learned/understood that gender identity had no relationship to sexual identity. I knew I was somehow different by the time I was 5, but that was in 1958 and back then if you were a girl you were supposed to be interested in boys, and I hated boys. I could not stand to be around them, wasn't interested in the things they wanted to do, and wasn't allowed to be where I wanted to be. It only took one line in a psychological text I was reading to turn my whole world right side up. "40% of MtF transsexuals identify as lesbian after transitioning". I think I sat in the corner of that library weeping tears of joy for half an hour re-reading that one line, because suddenly my world made sense for the first time in 42 years. Yes, discovering yourself is golden. Learning to accept and love the person you see in the mirror is a divine blessing.
YEAHHHH U GET IT
@@ElliSnow-bg2jb 🩷🤍🩵
@@ElliSnow-bg2jb Just discovered myself as a trans lesbian too after never understanding and it's so fucking freeing
Young, newly out queers really need to hear this shit frfr. Tysm
I'm a young newly out queer at a tender age of 33😂
@@neko_neko9 good for you babe good for you 💅
one advantage of being bisexual I noticed in my experience is seeing beauty in various kinds of women in their bodies and faces and style and personalities which in turn made me accept myself the way I am and see myself as belonging among them
Being gay and Realizing I’ll never have to go through pregnancy scares is so freeing.
if you're gay and only attracted to cis people, that is.
same dude
I think being queer and most importantly openly queer is what made my life much more interesting and happy. Was it a challenge to get to that position? Absolutely, but I if I had the option to turn straight I wouldn't take it. 2023 was the happiest year of my life and that's the year I came out. That's the year I fostered a group of friends, I worked on my self-confidence, FINALLY felt like I was loveable, got a partner, and much more. Of course it's not a perfect story because I'm still working on my self image, specially after breaking up.
But even then I can recognize that this version of myself is miles ahead of that confused boy who had to deal with the expectation from my masculine groups, consuming "self improvement" toxic masculinity content, and didn't hang out with anybody because of a lack of true bonds and terrible anxiety issues. Not to mention also the fact that I couldn't talk about ANYTHING because all of my interests and hyperfixationsrevolved around things that were considered feminine, so I had to keep them buried in my own head.
i feel proud of you 🤗
Yes I’m gay with four homophobic siblings. When I finally understood and accepted my queerness I realized I struggled with growing as a person and forming friend groups because all of my interests were feminine or queer.
I’m just now learning how to dress, what style I like, and how I want to present myself to the world, because my mind was queer but I was told to be straight
i'd never trade being queer for anything, ily
my (very gay) dad always says that queer people tend to be wiser than cishet people, because growing up with all of these weird emotions teaches you how to look inward and interrogate yourself to find out what you truly want in life.
as a trans guy it was rlly fun to watch this video and compere my expirience to yours :)
its so good to see positive content
Saying that diversity hiring practices are an advantage is hilarious when you consider the fact that the chance of getting hired decrease at most places you apply to. As a trans person who doesn't pass super well, I can't get any jobs, or even interviews, this makes my confidence drop into the fucking abyss as well. So it's like a triple negative point, it does not make up for anything imo.
I love the “I’m serious” in the title
Im not gonna lie, im a lesbian Christian as well and its hard man 😅especially when it comes to my beliefs. I believe in God all the way but some things the Bible and other fellow Christians say I just don’t agree with..at some point it even made me question my identity. At some point I just started believing everything in the Bible BUT what it says about gays and stuff👍🏼I don’t know what was the point of writing this but I send prayers to all my other Gay Christians out there bro🫶🏼good luck. (This was a great video too Claire. Thank you for sharing :) )
As a fellow queer Christian thank you 🫶
check out the website “hope remains”
Sorry in advance for possibly intrusive questions, but why do you believe? How? My parents never talked to me about religion, I didn't have any religious friends or even acquaintances, so the whole concept is so incredibly alien to me that I can't even empathize with religious experience
For me, I believe because I’ve seen gods work been done in my life. I’m not saying my life is all sunshine and rainbows like how people think it would be, but I’ve been the hardest of spots before and just the act of praying for help has gotten me out of those moments. I wouldn’t consider myself super religious but I do believe in God and his power. It sickens me tho when I see “Christians” pushing a false narrative onto others and hating on minorities. It literally says in the Bible to be nice to people, and nice things will happen to you. So just don’t be an A-hole.
@@Zoey_the_Rat Which sounds more like a fairytale?
1: An all-powerful being created us.
2: We are the result of the complete randomness of the universe.
3: Several powerful beings created us.
4: We all came from an explosion.
5: Aliens created us.
6: We never existed in the first place?
7: We all came from a bagel.
Trick question; they're all fairytales.
It's not really a case of "religious VS non-religious"- everyone has to face the questions of how we began and how we will end. It's just a case of which fairytale you believe is more plausible.
Unless I have slightly misunderstood your question, in which case the answer is just "people raised in a culture follow that culture".
If you're a baby queer, and you're having trouble finding gay groups or are scared because the place you are in is hostile to gay people... Seek us, the furries out. The fandom is overwhelmingly queer, 70ish% and out straight members are overwhelmingly supportive. Your presence in our space is welcomed, we want to be your friend and will happily help you enter the primary gay scene like a lion. In person, or if you're still too shy you can find us in most places of the internet. We're here for you.
Real AF!! The furry community was the first one I found tbh 😅
AH i can relate to this so much because the furry fandom is such an accepting place for LGBTQ members (i know because im in the fandom)
Honestly reletable, like i literally found my first boyfriend (when i identified as a cis male) on a furry subreddit lmao
:3 (im not a furry myself but i agree, also i like the cat face :3)
it took me a long time to figure out my identity. i came out to my parents as mlm in 2021, thinking that it fit me, and they accepted that. since then i have gone through a lot of growth, and im still living at home knowing that im a trans girl and a lesbian, and even though my parents were accepting they've been actively transphobic to others, and i dont think i can live with being perceived as a guy for much longer. sometimes being queer sucks so hard but this really does make me appreciate what we have.
hi fellow queer midzy! hope you can live your truth as soon as possible 🫶
You got this, sister! Escaping parents feels so good. Even though the economy is hard, it's better (and mentally easier!) to suffer while living authentically than suffer while hiding yourself.
Also I have a bit of an inverse experience, first identifying as lesbian, but now knowing I'm a trans man, aromantic, and functionally gay due to trauma regarding my mom. One difference being my parents were never accepting of anything I came out as, and I know my mom's modern "acceptance" of me as a man is a lie.
you thought you were mlm, but it turned out that you're wlw?
On the finale note, I told a coworker in a conversation kinda like this "We can walk into a room of people we've never met before and ill already be friends with a third of them"
I'm straight (but demisexual) and I have a lot of queer friends. I love how non judgemental they are and how little they care about following societial conventions and the like. Also it's fun to listen to their experiences to see how different people can be; it's given me a lot of food for thought.
yay an ally
@@artaquino6388 disagree
your point about how coming out can show someones true character holds a lot of water i think because obviously someone who is cis/het gets literally nothing from not being homophobic or a white person gets nothing for being anti-racist, its purely up to their own moral code and standards for being a decent human in that they make the *active choice* to be a decent human.
someone who _is_ racist, homophobic, transphobic etc: actively gain a false sense of security and pride in themselves for being "normal" and in a lot of places, are rewarded for being "against the woke mob" or whatever that crowd are pushing these days.
so overall, to be an ally when you aren't in the group affected by the bigotry speeks wonders about you as an individual and your own willingness to put justice and a sense of the right thing over ego and pride.
happy pride month everyone, hope you're all doing well.
Gay people are so awesome and I can’t wait to meet more like me
Gradually peeling myself out of the closet decades late, I've been bowled over by how welcoming people have been in my local queer community when I started going to a grassroots community group and checking out some local venues. It's not that we don't have problems with people behaving in toxic ways, cos in any social circle you'll get individuals behaving badly, but overall I've experienced a really strong ethos of people looking out for each other.
And I do think that it's because everyone knows what it is not to be able to take support for granted. This is a very traditional place, and while attitudes are changing, people my age (I'm a millennial, at the old end of that age group) and older especially have tended to grow up very isolated and amid a lot of ignorance. It's also why we feel so strongly about making things easier for the generations below us - we don't want anyone else to grow up like we did, or to go through what has sometimes been many years of questioning and self-denial.
being authentic is the gateway to confidence IS SO INCREDIBLY TRUE!!!! and this goes for anyone and everyone
Y'all ever have someone tell you your sexuality "isn't real"? Yeah, being part of the community is difficult sometimes... it's great to see that people in the comments are so positive, really brings a smile to my face! :)
Or that your sexuality “is a choice.” When do heterosexuals “choose” to be heterosexual? Those few people who are close to 50:50 bisexual/biromantic might actually be making be making a choice, but the rest of us queers are just living with the hand that we were dealt.
Not having to deal with cultish religious people. That’s one that immediately came to mind!
I saw this quote from a show somewher ei n refernce to the family planning chapter "Gay people dont get drunk and sign a bunch of paperwork"
claire im new to the channel im a straight presenting bisexual man who has had the privilege of not being perceived as lgbt but i still stick up for the struggle and have my own little network of trusted friends who likewise, understand the struggle . im subbed and locked in now keep this content coming i dig it
men, if we want to level up, we have to be gay.
Unironically true. The homophobia and misogyny holds yall dudes back so dang much from ur full potential.
Plus like, yall gotta start realizing how insulting and dehumanizing it is to yalls feminine partners to treat the whole female gender as something so disgusting and belittling for ya, that even stuff like holding her purse for a minute turns dudes stomach.
Like yall are literally treating what is supposed to be the loves of your lives like they're diseased. Stop that.
i'm in my first ever lesbian relationship at 22 and i think that point about gender roles goes even further. having to have those conversations (about how out we are, our families, the quirks the trauma of being gay in this world has given each of us) has given us such a good precedent for communication. being intentional and thoughtful spreads to all aspects of our relationship.
i didn't even think about this. I've been queer for so long, since so young, that i never thought about how blessed my life can be.
I think it's fair what you said about being queer being something that can help you get jobs, I'm sure it happens to people who are looking for formal companies or people on big cities, but for me and many people on different types of work and places, it's the opposite. I'm a teacher for kindergarden and if my boss knew I was gay, I'm pretty sure she'd fire me, specially since I deal with young kids and there's a lot of stigma related to queer people "making kids gay and pushing their gayness down their throats" or whatever. Also, my boss is very conservative and also racist (she doesn't let the kids colour skin in brown or black, which is absurd). And I mean, it's not like I would go about telling everyone at work I'm gay if I could, but just having to hide it to keep my job kinda sucks. I live in a medium and very conservative town, and this is quite normal in here.
first few seconds my mind debated "lesbian or twink?" thank you for clarifying ;)
As a bi girlie this really hit home, especially the part about chosen family and tight-knit friend groups! Sooo many of my friends are queer and I wouldn't change them for the world
good video, however you forgot to mention the +25% health bonus and the double jump.
“Religion, Yep I said it r word wait no wrong r word” LMAO I loved that line. I had questioned and left my cult before I discovered my identity as a bisexual trans woman, it had made questioning my identity much easier then it would have been if I was still in my old cult.
we need to start calling religion what it is, CULTS!
u ate w this whole vid!! loving the positivity and all these points are so real. great way to head into pride month
I think being androgynous definitely gave me a bump during my interview for my current job
Point 1 is such a good point and something I’ve never thought about. I’m really hard to embarrass and I give very few shits about what people think of me and have never considered that it could be to do with being a lesbian and accepting being different or embarrassing early on
As a 71 year old gay English man who was in a 40 year relationship, you have worked it out at such a young age, keep pushing and have a beautiful life, take care of each other 🏳️🌈
thank you so so much 🏳️🌈💪🏻
I love this! Thank you so much for making it. You put into words a lot of the things that I've been trying to articulate for years. Being gay is good actually! It's not just "okay" or "acceptable," but should be celebrated! Queering is all about challenging preconceived norms, asking critical questions about yourself and your society, which ultimately makes us more informed and empathetic people.
There's been this emphasis on the idea that being gay is not a choice and that we're just "born this way," but as folks have been pointing out lately, we don't need to have been born this way for being gay to still be a totally valid and actually awesome way of living.
Obvs it's not awesome all of the time, but it can be. It's society's oppressive roles that suck, not being queer.
Keep living authentically. I’m not gay but I appreciate your perspectives. I believe that marginalized people should support each other.
I'm SO glad i found a video that addresses these things, especially the gender norms! Though I may seem very butch and protective to a lot of people, I still want someone to hold me and see me as someone who needs to be protected. Shoutout to all the other Bisexuals!
8:18 LOL That caught me off guard
Fr, gay people just have more character development
😋😋😋
Heavy on the fourth or fifth one ‼️‼️‼️ as someone who does not want kids, the fifth is a HUGE perk
only for cis gay people only attracted to cis gay people
dude i don't have any social media right now because i'm working on my bachelors degree so no distractions and i love that i can still see content from you here on youtube, thanks for the videos, love the vibes
claire it blew up!!! y'all give this channel some recognition it's amazing :]
It makes me so happy to see an entire comment section who just agrees with me and is proud of being queer, I cannot explain how happy it makes me feel to see so many queer people, no its literally making me like cry like we are such a powerful group of people just because of how kind we our to eachother and how accepting we our of just being human beings. I think the whole world would be so much better if we just did this, if we just accepted people instead of pushing them in boxes.
Idk about the job one im currentlty closested in my career bc i dont want to lose my job sooooo yaaaa... Many excellent points tho
I’m not lgbtq in any way, I live in the US, and I hate how attacked the LGBTQ community is. If project 2025 happens, this country’s fucked. Please know, a lot of people here are assholes, terrible, and bigoted, but people here love you. We support you, you are loved.
I am so thankful I found out I'm a lesbian, because it confirmed that im not broken. Only dating men made me feel like love was something I would never experience, which was crushing to go through again and again. Now I know i still have a chance to love and be loved! (if finding a girlfriend wasnt impossible where im at lol) Thank you so much for this video, you made so many great points!
The part about being able to weed bad people out soon is so accurate
With the religion aspect- it kinda depends on what sort of religious people you're surrounded by, as I'm super queer but also a very strong Christian, I'm out to my parents who are also Christian (my dad's a pastor) and they're not supportive of all of my relationships but are supportive of me being queer, and my Christian friends are all either queer or allies. I think deconstructing religion and why many religious people think certain ways is important, I want to do more research into that, but that doesn't necessarily mean someone must deny religion because they're queer if they don't want to
christianity is homophobic. you can't be Christian and support queer people.
That's so true. When you're queer and religious/black (me) you'll be forced to confront some harsh realities about the world we live in that will leave you personally invested in the fight for equality and a fair shot at life. It's not just something in a history book, it's lived experience, and luckily you're not alone
Also having learned about the uneven split of labor between men and women, where women have most of the invisible labor, ie house work, and men have only visible labor, ie paid work, and then finding out that queer relationships don't have this assumed division of labor, and that it gives both parties more energy and more agency in their lives, I think it's a big plus to being queer. I think the sharing of household chores is partially why queer relationships seem so dream-like and unrealistic to straight women.
I was self employed doing home repairs and remodeling. After doing a few jobs for gay couples I established a relationship in the queer community. People knowing I did good work and would not judge their lifestyle kept me steadily employed. For 17 years nearly every job I got was from people who heard about me from people in the queer community.
Pro: Realizing I was aroace was the key to everything: self-confidence and acceptance, deconstructing everything from gender and gender norms to allosexuality/amatonormativity, to patriarchy. It allowed me to look into the mirror and finally be at peace with myself: like 5000lbs taken off my shoulders.
Con: Around 24y.o. it seems people have no personality or interest besides dating and it's exhausting.
my authenticity levels are chaotically powerful. being nonbinary and taking hrt, being witchferal and walking my path, and fiercely confronting the world as my clownic clovergender self have each brought me closer to recognizing myself in the mirror. i can't be repressed under any threat or force now, and i have hope for a future that's better for everyone
what's Clover gender
@@TheParklifeChoseMe its something i reclaimed from a bad-faith troll campaign started by 4chan. my gender involves being multiple internal ages and being attracted to people who love kids, and i just resonate with the clover 🍀
I'm a gay man, 26 years old. It's cool that our experiences were so similar. Even down to the religious deconstruction.
The queer community really does have the perspective to empathize more with other marginalised groups.
There is power in this community!
i don't know who you are and don't comment often, but i want to boost this because it is so wholesome and true and just only very real advantages of being queer which i know some more people need to hear
being queer can be hard sometimes and coming to terms with it isn't that easy for everyone but it is such a great and pure experience that i wouldn't want to trade with any other thing any day
You're onto something. Great points made. And it's so lovely to focus on potential benefits for a change. Thanks for the video. Take care. Happy Pride
after coming out as trans, my confidence absolutely skyrocketed. you need enough courage and self-love to admit to yourself and others who you are, so with coming out, you just become the best version of yourself, and it's amazing and so worth it. it's also insane how it changes your view of the world and the people in it.
number 3 spoke to me. i grew up in a mormon household with parents who neglected and abused myself and my sister after we both came out and left the church. having all that shit happens showed me the truth of religion, and jump started my journey of self discovery. im glad more and more people are opening up about this sort of thing!
I love how much I have in common with my lesbian friends as a bi man: potted plants, rescue dogs, Taylor Schilling, homesteading, women, gay stuff, a general distrust of men, it is uncanny
youre bi but you only like women and hate men?
@@artaquino6388 a straight women can have a distrust of men. a bi man can prefer women. a bi man can have a distrust of men. distrust does not mean hate or the absence of attraction.
damn girl, thank you for this. also queer solidarity is SOSOSO important now more than ever
I didn’t grow up in a religious household, so to I’ve always known and observed how religion can control people.
As a gay man over twice your age, I applaud you and this video. I think the best thing about being gay (aside from the obvious) is that we get to be who we are, and we get to meet the most interesting and talented people. Many of my straight ally friends are truly fabulous, but most other straight folks are boring as sh*t and have nothing interesting about them.
As much as the haters would wish we didn't exist, their lives would be so much less enriched if it wasn't for our contribution to culture as a whole.
straight people are who they are too. straight people are just as interesting and talented as gay people. and no, most straight people are not boring. hating on straight people is JUST as bad as hating on gay people. this is not the kind of representation the queer community needs.
I think an important addendum to your point about being authentic is definitely that trans people experience this to an even greater degree than the rest of the queer community, like having an even more core part of your identity be different is such a formative experience, especially with the insane amount of harassment, hate, and violence trans people face nowadays.
The chosen family thing is so true cause when youve been marginalized for just existing for all your life, when you find your people it becomes so much deeper than the typical "friendships" society has, i swear its deeper than most people family bonds honestly.
Long and sappy comment beware!
About two years ago I met my best friend, who has absolutely saved my life multiple times. They’re the most amazing person I know, and considering we’re both semi closeted and closeted to most family, we became friends over that shared experience. We’re both still in the closet enough to be very weary coming out to others IRL, so we’ve been a complete lifeline for each other. I love them to death. The past couple years since coming to terms with my gender/sexuality have been really up and down, but the worst part has been the isolation. The feeling of being surrounded by people but none of them know who you really are, and if they did none of them could relate. I’m so glad you mentioned that in the video, because queer friends really are amazing. In some cases, they can quite literally save your life. Lots of love to my fellow queers, and happy pride, especially to those celebrating while in the closet :)
This video is so real, it’s so easy to focus on the negative aspects that come with being Gay that it’s refreshing to look at the positives, thanks!
Love the video! The sense of freedom you get with this stuff is real.
I'm raised Catholic. Since I moved out right before covid, I've been on a bit of a journey learning what all there is out there. A huge turning point in it was finding Jaiden Animation's video called "Being Not Straight," where she talks about being Aro/Ace. So many things clicked into place in my head when she explained what it meant, and suddenly, a lot of feelings made sense to me. Since then, I've made huge progress in understanding who I am and how I work. Had I never seen that video, I would be way behind where I am now on understanding myself - and not just in the "who I'm into or not" department. I also found that I'm a furry a little under 6 months ago, which has been a whole ton of fun and has led to some new friendships. But most importantly, these past few months have given me that freeing dose of self-confidence mentioned early in the vid. It's not that I hated myself before - I was really just neutral, if a bit unsure of things. But now I really do feel content with myself :)
My mom and I get along pretty well, and I'm confident she does love me unconditionally. I have a couple cousins who are gay, and she treats them just the same as anyone else, even if she wishes they weren't gay. It's not ideal, but it's preferable that she wants the best for them versus hating them for being who they are. I explained Aro/Ace to her in general terms, and it went well. Idk about the furry stuff, though, as it's a bit more "out there" than not wanting a partner. I truly feel for people whose family hates them. My roommate (transfem) is unfortunately in that sort of boat. I do what I can to support her, but it's a tough thing.
I LOVE MY COMMUNITY 🏳️🌈🩷💜💙🏳️🌈
PREACH (bi trans woman over here in a t4t relationship, feel this hard)
I think there's also some benefit in political mindedness. It's a lot harder to become radicalized if you have been through an experience of personal marginalization (eg. being kicked out).
i hope this finds as many queer kids as possible truly
no. was very discouraging to a young trans gay person. she talked about gay people not being able to have unexpected pregnancies, which invalidated my gender and sexuality.
I find it genuinely fun and interesting when people say queer folk travel in packs, because (at least in my experience) it’s so true! My closest friend group over the span of about a decade all came out as queer, one by one, to the point where I became the token cis straight friend… and then later came out as queer lmao. Found family fr :)
this just made my day better lol
the worst thing is always the regret of not coming out sooner (to myself more than other people)
7:43 - I mean, that's part of the foundation of intersectionality. It can be a foundation for otherwise unrealised empathy for others. While your particular set of identifies might not translate you can at least take them as a basis for doing your best by others with the understanding that you will screw up and the hope that others understand you'll learn.
Thank you for this video! The first two points especially hit personal, since I'm a person who's VERY dependent on people's opinion. But being queer automatically means you have no choice but to be brave and not care what other people think of you, if you want to live a happy life. And yes, it makes you more empathetic, only then I realised how hard life is for the marginalised groups when I found myself belonging to one. Also, I'm really happy for queer people who can be out and proud, but that's kinda hard when being queer is literally a crime in your country, so I sympathize with everyone who's in the same situation💔