For a moment I thought “I don’t really do that,” but I think the way it manifests for me is comparison against a version of me that doesn’t exist, as opposed to another person. “I should be able to do X” or “Y shouldn’t be difficult for me” I’m comparing myself against an idealized version of myself that doesn’t exist, and find myself lacking. Also that bikini comparison is out of pocket 💀
Well That is exactly your ego You see something external and you decide to compare it to something that's not the present you But then again, that's perfectionism 101
I'm way ahead of you! I compare myself to an idealized version of myself, and to the best in my field, and to any past achievements of mine. and now I'm comparing myself to you specifically comparing yourself to a version of yourself..... AHHH 😂
Yeah! The best answer to all of this is a book i read recently. The power of now!! If you just live in the present you wont compare or live in future or past thus living a better life
This is not unfortunate. Statistics are really important in understanding news. For example: "This food causes a 50% increase risk of this type of cancer!" - if the probability was 0.001%, then it is now 0.0015%. If it's even that: what are the "error bars" on that result?
My cousin took his life this week, and this rings extremely true for what he must have felt in that moment. His ego conveniently forgot all the good things he had going for him and all the people who loved him and all the ways he was needed and valued and all the ways he's improved his life, to focus on the things that were messed up. If you're reading this and you were looking for a sign, take this as your sign that it's not a good idea to do this yourself. You are in an epic battle with a force of darkness, and you are stronger than it is. Do not let the darkness win.
Thank you. In the last moments of life brain cells die making the brain become less functional as if the brain is shrinking. Animals with smaller brains perceive time as moving slower. If your cousin thinking he's still alive because of perceiving time moving slowly right now comforts you then I hope that's what he thinks.
I always thought that your ego meant false self flattery. So its good to hear that it also refers to true self deprecation. All that matters is that its comparative.
Ego is the brains self protective instinct. It is any thought that is designed to protect your feelings. Sometimes it is mean, telling yourself its ok if you can't do/have something, you didn't deserve it, you weren't good enough anyway, it was never for you so you dont need to be hurt because you can't have it. Sometimes it is the opposite, telling you other peoples criticisms surely can't be true because you're so great etc.
Leftists don't like statistics because they're never in their favor, which explains why they've spent decades in our institutions telling everyone how useless they are.
@@pedrosso0 yeah that was her point. As in you can take any situation and manipulate the statistics to “prove” whatever you want to. In other words you should take any statistically proven “fact” with a pinch of salt.
Man, this rings so true for me. I have a serious problem with comparison. I have really good friends that are so much more smarter, charismatic, analytic, creative, energetic and overall more capable and successful than myself. It's quite depressing thinking about how much i've missed out because of this mindset. Fear, low self worth, comparison and feeling useless has made me loose any interests and motivation I once had. It's debilitating and I'm afraid it's going to ruin my life
They just do. They just be. They dont have that negative self talk you have nor do they compare themselves to others. When you remove those chains that bind you then you can start catching up to them, but do not compare in the process, since you started well after they did. First begin to remove the chains that bind you.
Man my ego really ruined my entire life, like i just can't stop comparing myself to my goals, my achievements and every single person.. I'm just so tired...
Dear Dr. K, So most my life I’ve been afraid of making mistakes, no matter the circumstances, big or small, it has always felt like a bigger burden to “try and to fail” than to “let someone else do it for me so I can see an outcome without any negative effect on myself”. This kind of mindset has provided me nothing but a wasteful past 3 years where I feel like I am in a “victim mindset”. I enjoyed being babied by my partner, yet at the same time felt hopeless and worthless. I wish to fix this mindset but it seems with every small task I have an insignificant relapse of my “victim” mindset. It’s gotten to the point where it is an every day occurrence where I feel I am just having to learn self control of suppressing myself at certain points in time to prevent it(myself) from affecting my partner. -thank you -Nathan B
don't dwell on it. you learned a lesson to prepare you for the future. live in the now. everyone has been there. plus ya know everything isnt always clear cut maybe it is but maybe it aint. just learn a lesson and move on.
Double click the end. Why did you just describe what happened to me. I convinced myself out of a relationship that the girl just needed time.. but it hit my ego so hard that she wouldn’t accept me within three months that I nearly lost my mind and had to resort to ghosting to free up the time I was spending every day thinking about her. It was a bandaid that got tore off that hurt so badly. Feeling better, learning for next time.
Terence McKenna said that you need SOME ego, or else you won't know whether to put food in your own mouth or someone else's. I think that's a solid defense of its essential necessity that's consistent with this criticism.
I feel like ego isn't the driving factor to someone's decision to eat or feed, wouldn't having lesser ego allow you to make that decision based off external info.. like whether they're starving or would just appreciate the food more?
I think ego is pretty much useless, but is it totally avoidable? It is said that the motivation to do good for others comes from feeling good about it our self. Is that just another manifestation of ego?
What's interesting is that I decided to just say yes to some things without really thinking too much about it. Which has led me to be doing sales, a job I thought I hate, and still do, but I'm learning my way through it and there's interesting lessons to be learned about socializing, how to make the most out of the time you have, to get what you want, in a way that benefits both parties, at least for me. I am no salesman, so I work slightly differently from them. I was having some social anxiety, but I'm learning to push through that because I have to. Letting go of the ego has meant that I spend less time comparing, and more time just living, figuring out stuff, learning, growing. Its never a smooth process, but if you look at it as a way to improve yourself, you might get far. Honestly, don't want to do this job any longer than I have to, but I'm in it to grow, so its been interesting.
That is so true. Once i learned to not have any hopes or desires when talking to a lady, but simply stayed in the present and enjoyed the conversation, I became much more aware of subtle things that showed I had a chance to get horizontal with her. With no ego involved, no negative thoughts and no comparisons, I was much more successful too. If you make a move and get shot down it is no biggie when you have no ego involved that is prone to feeling hurt or negative. Everybody gets shot down. The successful ones keep playing, and talking and observing. When you go fishing does it killyou if you lose a fish or a fish steals your bait? Do you sulk and blame the fish or blame yourself? Of course not. You keep fishing. If you fish long enough and stay curious and open to learning you will eventually catch some nice ones. Finding a gf is the same thing. Remove your fragile little ego from it.
“Comparison is the thief of joy,” attributed to President Theodore Roosevelt and others, evokes a powerful sentiment that can be life-changing. If we compare ourselves to others, we may be left with feelings of inferiority or superiority-and neither creates an emotionally healthy human being!
It can work the other way around as well during a breakup, it tries to make you think that the person still wants to be with you and date you even when they have already stated over and over again that they don't feel it anymore. The ego will actively try to keep what was as is, even when it no longer can be.
Is... Very true, I tend to destroy myself with comparing myself in a lot of aspects and... Well... That ends hurting a lot... And that's just true too (Is really hard for me to be kind to myself)
Comparison to recognize relativity for relating does not naturally imply value but position. Its natural. Just a note. Assessment isn't always judgement.
This is a much more complicated subject than what's portrayed here and I would argue potentially harmful without amore understanding of what ego is, why it is etc. this gives off "ego bad" vibes when in reality its not quite that black and white. I think it's important to consider what kind of relationship your audience might have with that word before trying to jump ahead and teach something like this.
compare to your past self and your goals, that is a better way to measure progress comparing yourself to others is flawed becuase you arent them. You dont have a same mind, body, strengths, weaknesses, environment, life, etc as them
Sometimes ego saving you for an example when someone loose their confidence in everything job work love friends ego can save that person from that situation and try to help get back self confidence
lmao in the last 20 years literally nobody has had a crush on me, the best i got was a narcissist who was only interested in the supply and she absolutely murdered whole sections of my personality.
Me earlier today: "I mean I wouldn't find a man to take care of me traditionally anyway. I'm too open for most men and I came from a broken home and I have daddy issues. I cant pick one and I won't find one" Dr K about to release this short to enlighten me: 👁 👄 👁
I get that, I'm a very traditional guy and want a girl that has abstained from sex as I have and we follow our roles to the best of our abilities, but I keep seeing all my peers who are on their 15th partner and they all seem to be loving that lifestyle, and I've never seen anyone other than internet grifters who share my desires. I'm not judgmental of others and I never do any moral grandstanding about it, its just what I personally prefer, but sometimes I feel FOMO for trying to wait for a girl like this. The way ego comes into play is that I am constantly comparing myself to my ideal self. I constantly think its because I am not hot enough, or I'm not buff enough, or I am not making enough money. When in reality, the girl I want to date isn't going to be perfect either and I need to get over myself and just try to find a girl like that regardless of my insecurities.
@kingofbears6999 that's very understandable. I don't know you as a person but I don't think it's about you personally. I think there's nothing wrong with traditionalism, I think right now some people felt really trapped under that lifestyle cause it was a the norm. Now after sexual freedom movements people don't want to go back. I think since I experienced my teens in the less woke era part of me still idealizes that way of living and I feel like I'm less of myself for not being able to maintain it. I think generation/human history wise, everyone is just Wilding rn but it'll calm down eventually and we'll probably have an even level of traditional and modern when we finally realize we can both be valid and coexist in harmony
@@kingofbears6999If you get your partner, just make sure that you're both independent enough to not _need_ each other. The woman being dependent on the man is the main issue with traditional relationships from how see it. Because it means that she might be trapped with you if she doesn't have a very supportive family or something, even if she wants to leave you. And I'm not saying that she'll want to leave you, I'm saying that it's good to make sure that your relationship is actually held together by love. When one partner is dependent on each other, there isn't a proper way to know this. They might stay with their partner because of love or maybe because they have no choice. Not a comforting thought to have for a relationship imo. So even from a selfish perspective I would always want an independent partner. Btw, kudos to you that even though you want to wait until marriage, you're not condemning those who won't/didn't. For me this was always an absolutely horrible thought. I'm happy with my decision to break up after nearly 4 years with the guy who I had my first time with, and then sleep with two other guys in the months after the break-up. It taught me so so much, and I think it was vital to my development. Right now I'm not sleeping with anybody. And the next one might be my future husband or just a fling. I don't know. But I'm focusing on developing other aspects of my life now and working on some issues I have. So for me everything's working out great, but I know that there are so many people who'd call me a s**t or other bad names or one guy even told me that I'm sinning, just because I made a decision that's right for me. So it's great that you aren't as judgemental.
@Eulogy080 all you need to understand when looking for a relationship is what you truly have to offer, and realise that "I'm a woman, my presence and body is all I need to offer" is a bs copout. If you demonstrate yourself to be a quality partner with good attributes who will improve your partners quality of life through your actions, and select partners that demonstrate they can recognise that and are looking for commitment with someone and have enough to offer in return, you'll do fine. The biggest issue these days is women have so little to offer, and think the mere honor of their attention is enough, and it most assuredly is not if they're going to make life harder.
My ego pushed away a popular guy who liked me in 8th grade because I didn't think he actually liked me. I was always picked on and fake asked out, so I didn't want to believe he liked me. He was too nervous to ask me to write in his book on the last day and I think he was expecting my number because he looked disappointed when he just saw "hags!"
I remember something from my high school in economics that when two people sell something to each oyher, it's called trading and when two people talk to each other, it's called flirting.
Well, I'm glad my ego shows me that I def. need meds for my conditions then. So I can be on the same step everyone else is. Otherwise, I can't do anything, tbh. Other people don't have the condition and severe deficits I have, so I have all the reason to compare myself to others and wanting to fix it D:
Recently, I was told that I had ego. This was really surprising because I am nice to most people. But after watching this video..Well, I think I'm comparing myself too much. I almost always tell myself that I'm not good enough for this or that. Maybe I shouldn't have done that
You. Dr. K just gave me a very useful answer how to distinguish if what myself is saying. If its my ego or its just plain fact. Thank you 🌺 I hope you have a great rest of the week (｡’▽’｡)♡
I dunno man. Every time my ego has told me, "She's losing interest, she doesn't consider you good enough, I see the signs, yeah she'll probably ghost me in a month," it was correct. It's amazing how much it doesn't even hurt when you already saw it coming and processed it in advance. And no, to the obvious question - "Well did you MAKE it come true by changing how you act?" I can't change how I act that easily, I'm shameless and silly af. I am how I am pretty much 100% of the time.
Ego is like a statistic what it reveal is enticing but what is conceal is vital. Normally my " beat myself to death and beyond personally would ignore that only I know it is a true. Still I believe statistics.
To know you're stupid, you would have to know what smart is. And there's the comparison. The only way to arrive at "I'm stupid" is to compare yourself to the idea of "smart". The comparison doesn't have to be to another person specifically.
Do not covet Each one should test their own actions, then they can take pride in themselves alone without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.
Is it ego if I say "what would xyz think of my actions" or something along those lines? Like what would my best friend think if he found out I had an addiction. Trying to either prevent or eliminate a bad practice.
an experience isn't traumatic due to any inherent aspect of the experience. there are experiences that are more likely to be traumatic for more people, but in the end, the thing that makes something traumatic vs a 'growth experience' is how you respond to it. there are people who go through the worst things a human can imagine and don't develop a trauma response, and there are people who develop a trauma response due to extremely mild events. the goal should not be to avoid experiences with the potential to cause trauma, it should be to avoid becoming traumatized by experiences. particularly when those experiences are necessary in order to live a fulfilling life.
What if it's a statement like "the me 5 years ago would be able to apply for all of this no problem, but the me right now is physically incapable of remembering deadlines", is that ego talking?
Comparison is a bad word to convey your idea, am i egotistical to say i should learn from this person they know better than me. Is it egotistical to say what happened that i could accomplish this task but the other person was unable to?
words do not mean the same things just because they share root word ego is broader than "egotistical". Egotistical means haughty and prideful. Ego is the story that you tell to yourself about yourself. The issue with this topic will always be that the situation is more complex than the words we use to describe them, which are awkward Your examples show unegoic curiosity. If those thoughts you mention are accompanied with negative self image, or shame, then this is your ego at work
pfft, my ego can take your ego any day
😂😂😂😂
In a fight, right?
@@alex-jumpz4264right?
@@alex-jumpz4264Fight to the death!
my ego can bench 4o5 my ego is much bigger
For a moment I thought “I don’t really do that,” but I think the way it manifests for me is comparison against a version of me that doesn’t exist, as opposed to another person.
“I should be able to do X” or “Y shouldn’t be difficult for me”
I’m comparing myself against an idealized version of myself that doesn’t exist, and find myself lacking.
Also that bikini comparison is out of pocket 💀
I relate to this alot
Well
That is exactly your ego
You see something external and you decide to compare it to something that's not the present you
But then again, that's perfectionism 101
I'm way ahead of you! I compare myself to an idealized version of myself, and to the best in my field, and to any past achievements of mine. and now I'm comparing myself to you specifically comparing yourself to a version of yourself..... AHHH 😂
Yeah! The best answer to all of this is a book i read recently. The power of now!! If you just live in the present you wont compare or live in future or past thus living a better life
@@bonquva thats just dismissing the issue and honestly a very simpled minded braindead take
Unfortunately my main takeaway from this short is a slightly increased interest in statistics
Cringe but acceptable
wtf
Sounds like your ego is telling you statistics, but what happens when you push that ego aside? Hmmm?
@@Zulfar-bd9tc big hmmmmmm
This is not unfortunate. Statistics are really important in understanding news. For example: "This food causes a 50% increase risk of this type of cancer!" - if the probability was 0.001%, then it is now 0.0015%. If it's even that: what are the "error bars" on that result?
My cousin took his life this week, and this rings extremely true for what he must have felt in that moment. His ego conveniently forgot all the good things he had going for him and all the people who loved him and all the ways he was needed and valued and all the ways he's improved his life, to focus on the things that were messed up.
If you're reading this and you were looking for a sign, take this as your sign that it's not a good idea to do this yourself. You are in an epic battle with a force of darkness, and you are stronger than it is. Do not let the darkness win.
Thank you
Thank you. In the last moments of life brain cells die making the brain become less functional as if the brain is shrinking. Animals with smaller brains perceive time as moving slower. If your cousin thinking he's still alive because of perceiving time moving slowly right now comforts you then I hope that's what he thinks.
I’m sorry for your loss
@@sharknadofartquake2449wtf
My condolences 💐
That's one of the best quotes I've ever heard.
I always thought that your ego meant false self flattery. So its good to hear that it also refers to true self deprecation. All that matters is that its comparative.
Ego is the brains self protective instinct. It is any thought that is designed to protect your feelings. Sometimes it is mean, telling yourself its ok if you can't do/have something, you didn't deserve it, you weren't good enough anyway, it was never for you so you dont need to be hurt because you can't have it. Sometimes it is the opposite, telling you other peoples criticisms surely can't be true because you're so great etc.
@@Cheesus-Sliced oohh I thought ego were just "I'm better than you" typa Shi but I didn't know they were also that
I love that statistics analogy. My statistics teacher used to say “you can prove anything with statistics”
"Don't believe any statistic you haven't faked yourself."
Leftists don't like statistics because they're never in their favor, which explains why they've spent decades in our institutions telling everyone how useless they are.
You can prove very few things with statistics
@@pedrosso0 yeah that was her point. As in you can take any situation and manipulate the statistics to “prove” whatever you want to. In other words you should take any statistically proven “fact” with a pinch of salt.
You have been such a help to me
What I've learned from this is that I need to think twice. Since my ego is so negative, I just need to separate my first thought.
I hope your ego isn't listening to this and contemplating how to adapt to this countermeasure
@@Yenrei don't worry I have a counter measure for it's counter measure
@@fulltimenpc Don't forget about the counter measure for it's counter measure for your counter measure of it's counter measure
you guys are gonna give me a panic attack
@fulltimenpc who is the "I" that has the countermeasure?
HELPP DR. K my ego is too sexy for me to ignore😂😂
Man, this rings so true for me. I have a serious problem with comparison. I have really good friends that are so much more smarter, charismatic, analytic, creative, energetic and overall more capable and successful than myself. It's quite depressing thinking about how much i've missed out because of this mindset. Fear, low self worth, comparison and feeling useless has made me loose any interests and motivation I once had. It's debilitating and I'm afraid it's going to ruin my life
You wrote they are really good friends. If you meant that in the sense of you being good friends with them think about that.
They just do. They just be. They dont have that negative self talk you have nor do they compare themselves to others. When you remove those chains that bind you then you can start catching up to them, but do not compare in the process, since you started well after they did. First begin to remove the chains that bind you.
Man my ego really ruined my entire life, like i just can't stop comparing myself to my goals, my achievements and every single person..
I'm just so tired...
start youtubing alan watts. listen to as much as you can find, all of it.
I feel you 100%
Goated prof
Dear Dr. K,
So most my life I’ve been afraid of making mistakes, no matter the circumstances, big or small, it has always felt like a bigger burden to “try and to fail” than to “let someone else do it for me so I can see an outcome without any negative effect on myself”. This kind of mindset has provided me nothing but a wasteful past 3 years where I feel like I am in a “victim mindset”. I enjoyed being babied by my partner, yet at the same time felt hopeless and worthless. I wish to fix this mindset but it seems with every small task I have an insignificant relapse of my “victim” mindset. It’s gotten to the point where it is an every day occurrence where I feel I am just having to learn self control of suppressing myself at certain points in time to prevent it(myself) from affecting my partner.
-thank you
-Nathan B
That last part hit. My ego pushed her away and now I lost what could’ve been 😞
don't dwell on it. you learned a lesson to prepare you for the future. live in the now. everyone has been there. plus ya know everything isnt always clear cut maybe it is but maybe it aint. just learn a lesson and move on.
@@A123-d8o thank you for your words kind stranger, I appreciate it
Double click the end. Why did you just describe what happened to me. I convinced myself out of a relationship that the girl just needed time.. but it hit my ego so hard that she wouldn’t accept me within three months that I nearly lost my mind and had to resort to ghosting to free up the time I was spending every day thinking about her. It was a bandaid that got tore off that hurt so badly. Feeling better, learning for next time.
Amazing and on point..thank you.
Facts
The ego exists on comparison of self
Terence McKenna said that you need SOME ego, or else you won't know whether to put food in your own mouth or someone else's. I think that's a solid defense of its essential necessity that's consistent with this criticism.
I feel like ego isn't the driving factor to someone's decision to eat or feed, wouldn't having lesser ego allow you to make that decision based off external info.. like whether they're starving or would just appreciate the food more?
@@emilyleaf9857I think it’s a metaphor for caring too much about others that you forget to take care of yourself or something
In the full video he speaks about healthy (small) ego vs unhealthy (big) ego.
Mckenna was frighteningly articulate
I think ego is pretty much useless, but is it totally avoidable? It is said that the motivation to do good for others comes from feeling good about it our self. Is that just another manifestation of ego?
What's interesting is that I decided to just say yes to some things without really thinking too much about it. Which has led me to be doing sales, a job I thought I hate, and still do, but I'm learning my way through it and there's interesting lessons to be learned about socializing, how to make the most out of the time you have, to get what you want, in a way that benefits both parties, at least for me. I am no salesman, so I work slightly differently from them. I was having some social anxiety, but I'm learning to push through that because I have to. Letting go of the ego has meant that I spend less time comparing, and more time just living, figuring out stuff, learning, growing. Its never a smooth process, but if you look at it as a way to improve yourself, you might get far. Honestly, don't want to do this job any longer than I have to, but I'm in it to grow, so its been interesting.
Thank you, Dr. ❤
I'll admit, I wasn't really listening until I heard the bikini analogy
That professor knew how to grab a student's attention.
bro I got ADHD too
That is so true. Once i learned to not have any hopes or desires when talking to a lady, but simply stayed in the present and enjoyed the conversation, I became much more aware of subtle things that showed I had a chance to get horizontal with her. With no ego involved, no negative thoughts and no comparisons, I was much more successful too. If you make a move and get shot down it is no biggie when you have no ego involved that is prone to feeling hurt or negative. Everybody gets shot down. The successful ones keep playing, and talking and observing. When you go fishing does it killyou if you lose a fish or a fish steals your bait? Do you sulk and blame the fish or blame yourself? Of course not. You keep fishing. If you fish long enough and stay curious and open to learning you will eventually catch some nice ones. Finding a gf is the same thing. Remove your fragile little ego from it.
The bikini analogy is hilarious 😂😂
just remember that the point is not to stop comparing yourself or other to any other thing.
“Comparison is the thief of joy,” attributed to President Theodore Roosevelt and others, evokes a powerful sentiment that can be life-changing. If we compare ourselves to others, we may be left with feelings of inferiority or superiority-and neither creates an emotionally healthy human being!
It doesn't leave it out; it hides it from you. Some people have an external locus of control.
It can work the other way around as well during a breakup, it tries to make you think that the person still wants to be with you and date you even when they have already stated over and over again that they don't feel it anymore. The ego will actively try to keep what was as is, even when it no longer can be.
Is... Very true, I tend to destroy myself with comparing myself in a lot of aspects and... Well... That ends hurting a lot... And that's just true too (Is really hard for me to be kind to myself)
The ego is the reason why many people try to achieve things that are way out of their ability.
Mans is a AMAZING DOCTOR.
The most famous yogi in the world once said:
“I'm smarter than the average bear"
words to live by
Comparison to recognize relativity for relating does not naturally imply value but position. Its natural. Just a note. Assessment isn't always judgement.
Wow, all I remember was yogi stealing picnic baskets
This is a much more complicated subject than what's portrayed here and I would argue potentially harmful without amore understanding of what ego is, why it is etc. this gives off "ego bad" vibes when in reality its not quite that black and white. I think it's important to consider what kind of relationship your audience might have with that word before trying to jump ahead and teach something like this.
right. He might be influenced by eastern views on ego, which differ from our western outlook.
The ego is only "good" for the ego.
Any justification for the ego falls along these lines.
This is so interesting. I dont know from where ive learned that ego is basically just your self confidence
Wow luv this 🙏
lol your professor is amazing
i hate that that analogy is super spot on
I'm stealing that Professor's statistics quote
I literally feel when my actions and thoughts are ego-driven, but no clue how to get rid of that
How else do we know when we are failing,
or falling behind?
Surely, ego does help us.
compare to your past self and your goals, that is a better way to measure progress
comparing yourself to others is flawed becuase you arent them. You dont have a same mind, body, strengths, weaknesses, environment, life, etc as them
Yup, not a moment has gone by in this life where i thought i was good enough for someone else
Sometimes ego saving you for an example when someone loose their confidence in everything job work love friends ego can save that person from that situation and try to help get back self confidence
Always wondered how I could have full confidence in my abilities and crippling self doubt about any chance of success at the same time.
the last statement is 100% true
I use my ego to become better.
Example: Whoa, this guy's execution with Kazuya on Tekken 8 is 10x better than mine. I wanna get on that level.
Exactly.❤
lmao in the last 20 years literally nobody has had a crush on me, the best i got was a narcissist who was only interested in the supply and she absolutely murdered whole sections of my personality.
Well said
Bruh what a big brain this man has.
Me earlier today:
"I mean I wouldn't find a man to take care of me traditionally anyway. I'm too open for most men and I came from a broken home and I have daddy issues. I cant pick one and I won't find one"
Dr K about to release this short to enlighten me: 👁 👄 👁
Same.😬
I get that, I'm a very traditional guy and want a girl that has abstained from sex as I have and we follow our roles to the best of our abilities, but I keep seeing all my peers who are on their 15th partner and they all seem to be loving that lifestyle, and I've never seen anyone other than internet grifters who share my desires. I'm not judgmental of others and I never do any moral grandstanding about it, its just what I personally prefer, but sometimes I feel FOMO for trying to wait for a girl like this. The way ego comes into play is that I am constantly comparing myself to my ideal self. I constantly think its because I am not hot enough, or I'm not buff enough, or I am not making enough money. When in reality, the girl I want to date isn't going to be perfect either and I need to get over myself and just try to find a girl like that regardless of my insecurities.
@kingofbears6999 that's very understandable. I don't know you as a person but I don't think it's about you personally. I think there's nothing wrong with traditionalism, I think right now some people felt really trapped under that lifestyle cause it was a the norm. Now after sexual freedom movements people don't want to go back.
I think since I experienced my teens in the less woke era part of me still idealizes that way of living and I feel like I'm less of myself for not being able to maintain it.
I think generation/human history wise, everyone is just Wilding rn but it'll calm down eventually and we'll probably have an even level of traditional and modern when we finally realize we can both be valid and coexist in harmony
@@kingofbears6999If you get your partner, just make sure that you're both independent enough to not _need_ each other. The woman being dependent on the man is the main issue with traditional relationships from how see it. Because it means that she might be trapped with you if she doesn't have a very supportive family or something, even if she wants to leave you. And I'm not saying that she'll want to leave you, I'm saying that it's good to make sure that your relationship is actually held together by love. When one partner is dependent on each other, there isn't a proper way to know this. They might stay with their partner because of love or maybe because they have no choice. Not a comforting thought to have for a relationship imo. So even from a selfish perspective I would always want an independent partner.
Btw, kudos to you that even though you want to wait until marriage, you're not condemning those who won't/didn't. For me this was always an absolutely horrible thought. I'm happy with my decision to break up after nearly 4 years with the guy who I had my first time with, and then sleep with two other guys in the months after the break-up. It taught me so so much, and I think it was vital to my development. Right now I'm not sleeping with anybody. And the next one might be my future husband or just a fling. I don't know. But I'm focusing on developing other aspects of my life now and working on some issues I have. So for me everything's working out great, but I know that there are so many people who'd call me a s**t or other bad names or one guy even told me that I'm sinning, just because I made a decision that's right for me. So it's great that you aren't as judgemental.
@Eulogy080 all you need to understand when looking for a relationship is what you truly have to offer, and realise that "I'm a woman, my presence and body is all I need to offer" is a bs copout. If you demonstrate yourself to be a quality partner with good attributes who will improve your partners quality of life through your actions, and select partners that demonstrate they can recognise that and are looking for commitment with someone and have enough to offer in return, you'll do fine. The biggest issue these days is women have so little to offer, and think the mere honor of their attention is enough, and it most assuredly is not if they're going to make life harder.
My ego pushed away a popular guy who liked me in 8th grade because I didn't think he actually liked me. I was always picked on and fake asked out, so I didn't want to believe he liked me. He was too nervous to ask me to write in his book on the last day and I think he was expecting my number because he looked disappointed when he just saw "hags!"
I remember something from my high school in economics that when two people sell something to each oyher, it's called trading and when two people talk to each other, it's called flirting.
This is wisdom ❤
This guy detects his ego 24/7/365.
Milei used to use that quote xD
This answers a few thing. UNIRONICALLY SO!
Even more: cataloguing (that means giving a qualifying "name" to something) is the action of ego.
that statistic bikini line is a bar
Super Thank You
Well, I'm glad my ego shows me that I def. need meds for my conditions then. So I can be on the same step everyone else is. Otherwise, I can't do anything, tbh. Other people don't have the condition and severe deficits I have, so I have all the reason to compare myself to others and wanting to fix it D:
Recently, I was told that I had ego. This was really surprising because I am nice to most people. But after watching this video..Well, I think I'm comparing myself too much. I almost always tell myself that I'm not good enough for this or that. Maybe I shouldn't have done that
Wow. Imagine using that imagery in a statistics class today (or in the west, maybe)
You. Dr. K just gave me a very useful answer how to distinguish if what myself is saying. If its my ego or its just plain fact. Thank you 🌺
I hope you have a great rest of the week (｡’▽’｡)♡
I dunno man. Every time my ego has told me, "She's losing interest, she doesn't consider you good enough, I see the signs, yeah she'll probably ghost me in a month," it was correct. It's amazing how much it doesn't even hurt when you already saw it coming and processed it in advance.
And no, to the obvious question - "Well did you MAKE it come true by changing how you act?" I can't change how I act that easily, I'm shameless and silly af. I am how I am pretty much 100% of the time.
Does that apply even to comparison with oneselves? And I bet it's not the only way ego acts, what are some other ways?
But the thing is without comparing how do you find differences? Like don't we need a control group?
Does anyone have any book recommendations from yogis on this stuff specifically?? Thanks!!
Ego is like a statistic what it reveal is enticing but what is conceal is vital.
Normally my " beat myself to death and beyond personally would ignore that only I know it is a true. Still I believe statistics.
I rarely compare myself.
I just say "im stupid"
And end it there😂
To know you're stupid, you would have to know what smart is. And there's the comparison. The only way to arrive at "I'm stupid" is to compare yourself to the idea of "smart". The comparison doesn't have to be to another person specifically.
Do not covet
Each one should test their own actions, then they can take pride in themselves alone without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.
I'm like that last sentence except no one would ever have a crush on me lol
You're damn right I do that 🥸
Is it ego if I say "what would xyz think of my actions" or something along those lines? Like what would my best friend think if he found out I had an addiction. Trying to either prevent or eliminate a bad practice.
Thank you Yogi Bear
The last part doesn’t seem like a comparison statement though
My thing is more thinking how if I didn't have the variety of mental issues I have then I'd be able to do this or accomplish that, is that the same?
If the odds of getting rejected is high and the results are a range of traumatising experiences...
an experience isn't traumatic due to any inherent aspect of the experience. there are experiences that are more likely to be traumatic for more people, but in the end, the thing that makes something traumatic vs a 'growth experience' is how you respond to it. there are people who go through the worst things a human can imagine and don't develop a trauma response, and there are people who develop a trauma response due to extremely mild events. the goal should not be to avoid experiences with the potential to cause trauma, it should be to avoid becoming traumatized by experiences. particularly when those experiences are necessary in order to live a fulfilling life.
I bet my ego could beat your ego in a fight
The bikini analogy is gonna stick with me, forever
What you say is based on the assumption that there actually is someone letting you know that they are interested in dating you.
Comparison is the thief of joy
How to handle failure? How to stop feeling like looser in life?
what if I compare myself to an ideal version of myself that isn't crippled to their core? still ego?
As Yogi always said "I am smarter than the average bear"
the ego on that guy
Yogi the BEAR lmao
What's the full video of this?
i do this without meaning to i try to avoid it so much
Would this apply if I compare myself to my future or past self ?
would dr k agree, that even thinking you can kill your ego, is your ego fucking with you?
What if it's a statement like "the me 5 years ago would be able to apply for all of this no problem, but the me right now is physically incapable of remembering deadlines", is that ego talking?
Not sure why you had to put inappropriate pictures whilst giving your example. Not necessarily really, nor relevant by that means.
POSTTTTT A LINK TO THE FULLLLLLLLLLL VIDEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dr K!! STAAHP
Even if you compare people between them?
So what you're saying is going naked is better than going in a bikini. Got it!
Depends on the weight of the individual in question, really.
No link in the description this time 😢
Comparison is a bad word to convey your idea, am i egotistical to say i should learn from this person they know better than me.
Is it egotistical to say what happened that i could accomplish this task but the other person was unable to?
words do not mean the same things just because they share root word
ego is broader than "egotistical". Egotistical means haughty and prideful. Ego is the story that you tell to yourself about yourself.
The issue with this topic will always be that the situation is more complex than the words we use to describe them, which are awkward
Your examples show unegoic curiosity. If those thoughts you mention are accompanied with negative self image, or shame, then this is your ego at work
Wait so only when i compare myself to others?