We are responsible for our own happiness and health. I left the mental health system and therapy for the same reason you stopped being a therapist. only you can tell your own story and I can only tell my mind. I stumbled across your channel last night and your channel has become part of my healing process now. Thanks! 🎉
I formed an addiction to pornography. Thankfully I don’t watch it anymore but that capacity to go back to an addiction always remains even when we’re finally sober.
Hi Daniel, your narration really helpd me to recall why I fell into bulimia during my college year. I was pushed myself to learn a major I hate and struggled with fierce peer competition. It was during that time I was caught in eating disorder without knowing why. I am so grateful your video inspired me to understand the reason behind.
This is so good. It explains the addiction cycle so well. It is spot on how it is explained here. I had worked this out for myself. Daniel makes it so clear.
When I can't sleep my mom always tells me to just drink a beer or two, even if it's obvious that I maybe shouldn't use substances in a functional way as I was addicted to weed for some years.
Thank you Daniel, i cant believe how much i resonate with so much of what you say, being a 25 year old girl. You are helping me see so much my situation with my family and its brings some comfort. You are serving this world ❤
Great video! I am a recovering addict/alcoholic with 11 years clean sober. I drank for many so called pleasurable reasons. I had tons of GAD that I was unaware of until I was 34. I'm also an ACA since 2018.
I can relate to what you're saying about not having healthy people to talk to. My mom was the only other person in my life to talk to. I had no one else besides her to help me self-reflect and process. I saw therapists throughout high school, but never connected with them. They never seemed to connect with me either. No healthy perspective. It would be years before I found that.
Reminds me of my mom. Running to pills for anything and everything. In the end, she became so dissociated, such a stunted and warped personality without any ability to empathize.
Can relate. Insomnia has gotten worse. I have been on sleep meds every night since break down in 74. My problem, besides stress is being in constant pain in my mouth, neck an back. Even with the med, still takes a long time to fall asleep. Am always tired an hurting. Am trying meditation an mindfulness. My mom also did that. I am also a recovering addict alcoholic an I know mom has no ability to understand. Same for other half. Unless one is in recovery, they can't comprehend.!
It’s 4am in Detroit. I should be asleep. I’m smack dab in the middle of the same basic childhood traumas that start to bubble up every few years. Many of these times I’ve gotten quite Ill because I wasn’t ready to heal and it got pushed down, greatly in part to hospitalizations and more psyche drugs. It is perfect timing that I have found this content and have access at 4 am, lol, as I’m wide awake because of intermittent insomnia. I’m cross addicted and know myself to be powerless over these addictions. I live a sober life from drugs and alcohol thank God, simple programs, not easy.
You're not powerless over anything. Your self made-up AA or NA "god" is not the God of the bible. Your AA or NA program that prevents you from drinking or drugs by keeping you and others endlessly busy all day so that you have no time to drink is no life. You lose your life to AA/NA instead of losing it to drugs/drinking. However, your members don't see the third option which is abstinence through sheer strength of will and by asking the real God for help. You say you're sorry to God, that you hate satan and his substances, and that you need help to change yourself. It's seriously that simple.
Gábor Maté says addiction is rooted in stressed parents and/or (but also stress related) the lack of love and support from them.. People's lives in the capitalist west are needlessly burdened with unnecessary stressors although much is also physical as the current opiate addiction is as opium was to the Chinese. After a while a drug whatever it may be, claps on to the brain until addiction sets in. This is why they have protocols for psychotropic drugs to keep people on them long enough for them to take hold so that coming off them is worse than being on them. I have seen that kind of parent- child addiction behavior in giving their children the first drug, which is sugar, and as they themselves are sugar/carb addicts, they will force these on the child and they don't like it if the child refuses. Indeed, very bad parenting. The need to be able to talk to someone and to help get one get perspective is critical as an antidote to tranquilizers.
So it's okay to use substances to deal with "unnatural" situations, which begs the question what is a "natural" 21st century situation for a species whose ancestors were hunter gatherer bands of no more than 100 people?
Any time where you can go to the bathroom when you want, sleep each 24 hours courtesy of day/night cycle, and eat food on regular occasions. The reason there's a "Jet" in Jet Lag is because even with automobiles and most trains (IDK about those chinese bullet trains) they're still slow enough they hardly interfere with the day night cycle. Weirdly enough, one of the few cases where I would think light drug use would be acceptable is on an SAT or AP test or something like that. Not a regular test, just the College Board ones, where you can't go to the bathroom, can't eat or drink, or even stretch your legs, for 40 to 70 minutes or longer. But most of life, even in industrial cities, is weirdly similar to how it was before. EDIT: and of course planes too.
I was used as "medication" by my M. I discovered this after repeatedly telling her I'll only see her with a professional (good tactic), but not with her. She ignored, avoided, whined, all by post, & then the ultimate blackmail: this had forced her onto medication! The guilt tripping & my ignorance at the time made me give in. Now I realise she had been forced to swap medication for me as I wasn't allowing her to use me.... the use & abuse started again straight away for ever more reaching fever pitch recently until I was forced to cut her off.
I started on psych meds in high school, a few years after my father died. The therapists warned me and my mom against this, as they knew that I needed to deal with my feelings. But I showed unwilling and unable to process at the time. So I went on meds. My mom was concerned about it too, and she tried to tell me know, but I kept insisting. The pain was too severe. After that I got a label, and that was it. I still remember, a few times in my 20s, I'd forget my meds, have a meltdown, and my mom would get so mad at me. I was a child in an adult body, who couldn't get through. Now, I'm finally learning to grow up. In my 30's. In some ways, I can see my mom like your mom, but I know that, at the beginning, she was just a mom with a hurting kid who was doing the best she could.
Daniel I admire you for your openness, your honesty and all what you are real HUMAN GIFT in this ERA of LIFE... ... ... ... 🕉 🕉 🕉... 🙏🏻 🙏🏻 🔥 strong emotions and alcohol don't go along together ... neither do anti-depressants and alcohol ... Thank you for sharing the story when you where 17 and easily you could go in an addiction and you did not. ... Thank you for how and why you use VALIUM...but isn't Valium a (partially) a natural product... (plant based)
I’ve learned Chamomile tea, valerian, 5http, even magnesium are mild and great, natural sleep aides. I take magnesium regularly. It can be difficult to learn to self sooth, and go to sleep. When this happens, and I have difficulty letting it go... I’ve found Chamomile tea and/or valerian works like a charm for me. I hope this helps.
I would suggest egcg (but not too much) in the form of green tea extract with the 5-htp for safety reasons. and maybe don't take the combo every day. If well tolerated, tryptophan has fewer safety concerns than the 5-htp + egcg combination. Do you tolerate tryptophan-rich foods well? It's also available as a supplement.
My Mom sans alcohol. There were obviously family secrets in her own family of origin probably back and back. She was always going to doctors and psychiatrists in on a lot of drugs for mood and sleep and she was pretty much automated buy drugs prescribed by her doctor. Finally 12 years before she died, she was prescribed some medication for blood pressure by a questionable doctor which caused her to pass out and fall and have a concussion where she needed immediate brain surgery in the beginning of the end. It was very sad because even at eighty-seven she was vital she was driving still. She live till ninety nine but progressively her meds had to be altered and scaled down and this was very tough for her. She eventually died from vascular dementia from that fall I believe she would have lived past 100 and likely still driving. She was my earliest perpetrator. Fortunately I reached a much prayed for level of compassion towards her in the last few years of her life especially when she became very disabled. This is the third years since she died and possibly the toughest year for me around losing her and just losses in my own life and how I used people, places and things to dissociate. P.S. I like how you describe meds as being useful as therapeutic interventions w/in the framework for self-exploration
It's interesting how nuanced this can be - where is the line between consuming/doing something appropriately vs in an addictive way? how can we reprogram our unconscious patterns we may be unintentionally pushing on others? can we consciously do something in an addictive way knowing it's temporary? I'm not sure what the answers are, but I feel like cultivating awareness and having open dialogue with others can make a load of difference
I wouldn´t take benzos. So, when you go to another country your sleep schedule is out of order for the next few days? Well...that´s not gonna kill you. I would argue taking a neurotoxin that blows out your mind for a few hours is probably unhealthier than a few days of poor sleep, but who knows. Taking a little selenium and vit b12 also might help for better sleeping quality if sb is deficient (lots of ppl are). My mom was always gonna give me pain medication or anti-inflammatory stuff and I am a smart girl so very early on when I could comprehend what she was giving me there I started to refuse that, because as long as you can stand it, painkillers are the worse choice, damaging your mitochondria/blocking your natural immune responses. She was really pushing them on me, even when I said I wasn´t even in pain, I was just down with fatigue and a fever. Also she was forcing me to take alcohol at some points or at least urging it. I refused. Maybe that was just our game: She wanted me numb and rational and I became more and more irrational and feeling. But maybe doing just the opposite is also not healthy. Not just for the sake of doing it. I am not suggesting anyone numbing their feelings though, unless there seems just no other choice, in which case it will happen naturally anyway.
I sometimes use Chamomile tea, valerian it 5http for sleep. I take magnesium on a regular basis. Another thing that’s helpful is to avoid alcohol, caffeine, (of course drugs), and no electronics for at least an hour before you want to go to sleep (phone, internet, tv). I hope this helps.
You might need lower doses on the melatonin, maybe as low as 0.3 mg (300 micrograms). The common 3mg is too high for most. (High doses are well tolerated for some conditions though. Melatonin is a powerful antioxidant.)
Also if you're considering 5-htp, I would suggest trying tryptophan (can get as a supplement if you tolerate tryptophan-rich foods) first, for safety reasons, and that might work without you needing 5-htp. EGCG (from green tea extract) can help the safety of 5-htp a bit, just don't overdo EGCG either.
Our society is conditioned by now to accept and believe in those drugs, but don't yet have the inowledge how they work, how the body and soul are affected and what natural causes and solutions there are (to be had). good that you had an intact sound body-sense to not want it, despite lacking the support by family tradition. I have never heard you talk about natural doctors I think, (o´possibly in your natural-psychosis -healing films, I don't remember). There are natural causes and natural solutions, and the synthetic drugs mess up your sensitive, wondrous, perfect body chemistry and wisdom. And the pills make us lazy, weak-willed, without us knowing.Grateful I got freed in DAA by that fellowship with Godly inspiration and help.
For anyone else who has this problem. Put a drop of warm clarified butter(ghee) in each of your nostril. Stress and trauma fucks our mind but sometimes managing the body can help. Peace.
Prescribed drugs were the only way she knew how to cope with her pain and sorrow. Maybe she didn't want you to be an addict consciously. After all, we only give what we have. Don't you think?
The most honest, decent, valuable presentations on YT.
We are responsible for our own happiness and health. I left the mental health system and therapy for the same reason you stopped being a therapist. only you can tell your own story and I can only tell my mind. I stumbled across your channel last night and your channel has become part of my healing process now. Thanks! 🎉
I formed an addiction to pornography. Thankfully I don’t watch it anymore but that capacity to go back to an addiction always remains even when we’re finally sober.
I relate.
Yes, that's why I remind myself that it's about maintaining sobriety.
Unfortunately it’s sadly to say but I am also,and that’s I wasn’t speaking about my gambling addiction
Hi Daniel, your narration really helpd me to recall why I fell into bulimia during my college year. I was pushed myself to learn a major I hate and struggled with fierce peer competition. It was during that time I was caught in eating disorder without knowing why. I am so grateful your video inspired me to understand the reason behind.
Wishing you the best! Thank you. Daniel
This is so good. It explains the addiction cycle so well. It is spot on how it is explained here. I had worked this out for myself. Daniel makes it so clear.
When I can't sleep my mom always tells me to just drink a beer or two, even if it's obvious that I maybe shouldn't use substances in a functional way as I was addicted to weed for some years.
This sucks.
Thank you Daniel, i cant believe how much i resonate with so much of what you say, being a 25 year old girl. You are helping me see so much my situation with my family and its brings some comfort. You are serving this world ❤
This channel is gold. I feel like I've come home. So grateful
Great video! I am a recovering addict/alcoholic with 11 years clean sober. I drank for many so called pleasurable reasons. I had tons of GAD that I was unaware of until I was 34. I'm also an ACA since 2018.
I can relate to what you're saying about not having healthy people to talk to. My mom was the only other person in my life to talk to. I had no one else besides her to help me self-reflect and process. I saw therapists throughout high school, but never connected with them. They never seemed to connect with me either. No healthy perspective. It would be years before I found that.
Hi Daniel, I enjoy your company.
You make sense.
That was brilliant. Thank you for your bravery in sharing that.
Reminds me of my mom. Running to pills for anything and everything. In the end, she became so dissociated, such a stunted and warped personality without any ability to empathize.
Oh man, I feel so sorry for all of this :(
Your videos are so important. Thank you Daniel!
This is such a valuable self-analysis, thank you for sharing your experiences with us
Can relate. Insomnia has gotten worse. I have been on sleep meds every night since break down in 74. My problem, besides stress is being in constant pain in my mouth, neck an back. Even with the med, still takes a long time to fall asleep. Am always tired an hurting. Am trying meditation an mindfulness. My mom also did that. I am also a recovering addict alcoholic an I know mom has no ability to understand. Same for other half. Unless one is in recovery, they can't comprehend.!
It’s 4am in Detroit. I should be asleep. I’m smack dab in the middle of the same basic childhood traumas that start to bubble up every few years. Many of these times I’ve gotten quite Ill because I wasn’t ready to heal and it got pushed down, greatly in part to hospitalizations and more psyche drugs. It is perfect timing that I have found this content and have access at 4 am, lol, as I’m wide awake because of intermittent insomnia. I’m cross addicted and know myself to be powerless over these addictions. I live a sober life from drugs and alcohol thank God, simple programs, not easy.
Wishing you well w sobriety, brother.
You're not powerless over anything. Your self made-up AA or NA "god" is not the God of the bible. Your AA or NA program that prevents you from drinking or drugs by keeping you and others endlessly busy all day so that you have no time to drink is no life. You lose your life to AA/NA instead of losing it to drugs/drinking. However, your members don't see the third option which is abstinence through sheer strength of will and by asking the real God for help. You say you're sorry to God, that you hate satan and his substances, and that you need help to change yourself. It's seriously that simple.
Hang in there Di! Am in a similar boat. Sending good vibes 💖
Gábor Maté says addiction is rooted in stressed parents and/or (but also stress related) the lack of love and support from them.. People's lives in the capitalist west are needlessly burdened with unnecessary stressors although much is also physical as the current opiate addiction is as opium was to the Chinese. After a while a drug whatever it may be, claps on to the brain until addiction sets in. This is why they have protocols for psychotropic drugs to keep people on them long enough for them to take hold so that coming off them is worse than being on them.
I have seen that kind of parent- child addiction behavior in giving their children the first drug, which is sugar, and as they themselves are sugar/carb addicts, they will force these on the child and they don't like it if the child refuses. Indeed, very bad parenting.
The need to be able to talk to someone and to help get one get perspective is critical as an antidote to tranquilizers.
So it's okay to use substances to deal with "unnatural" situations, which begs the question what is a "natural" 21st century situation for a species whose ancestors were hunter gatherer bands of no more than 100 people?
good point. I would say, there are extents to which our modern situations are or aren't like those of our distant ancestors
Any time where you can go to the bathroom when you want, sleep each 24 hours courtesy of day/night cycle, and eat food on regular occasions. The reason there's a "Jet" in Jet Lag is because even with automobiles and most trains (IDK about those chinese bullet trains) they're still slow enough they hardly interfere with the day night cycle. Weirdly enough, one of the few cases where I would think light drug use would be acceptable is on an SAT or AP test or something like that. Not a regular test, just the College Board ones, where you can't go to the bathroom, can't eat or drink, or even stretch your legs, for 40 to 70 minutes or longer. But most of life, even in industrial cities, is weirdly similar to how it was before.
EDIT: and of course planes too.
I was used as "medication" by my M. I discovered this after repeatedly telling her I'll only see her with a professional (good tactic), but not with her. She ignored, avoided, whined, all by post, & then the ultimate blackmail: this had forced her onto medication! The guilt tripping & my ignorance at the time made me give in. Now I realise she had been forced to swap medication for me as I wasn't allowing her to use me.... the use & abuse started again straight away for ever more reaching fever pitch recently until I was forced to cut her off.
I question if anyone understands how much is in what is said in this video. this is a perfect explanation of the addiction cycle.
Yes it sure is.
These are some of your best videos. Thank you for your work
I started on psych meds in high school, a few years after my father died. The therapists warned me and my mom against this, as they knew that I needed to deal with my feelings. But I showed unwilling and unable to process at the time. So I went on meds. My mom was concerned about it too, and she tried to tell me know, but I kept insisting. The pain was too severe. After that I got a label, and that was it. I still remember, a few times in my 20s, I'd forget my meds, have a meltdown, and my mom would get so mad at me. I was a child in an adult body, who couldn't get through. Now, I'm finally learning to grow up. In my 30's.
In some ways, I can see my mom like your mom, but I know that, at the beginning, she was just a mom with a hurting kid who was doing the best she could.
Much more comfortable, love it
Thank you for sharing this to us ✋✋✋
it happened two or three times?? dude gonna make me cry😭
Daniel I admire you for your openness, your honesty and all what you are real HUMAN GIFT in this ERA of LIFE...
... ...
... 🕉 🕉 🕉...
🙏🏻 🙏🏻
🔥
strong emotions and alcohol don't go along together
...
neither do anti-depressants and alcohol
...
Thank you for sharing the story when you where 17 and easily you could go in an addiction and you did not.
...
Thank you for how and why you use VALIUM...but isn't Valium a (partially) a natural product... (plant based)
I’ve learned Chamomile tea, valerian, 5http, even magnesium are mild and great, natural sleep aides. I take magnesium regularly. It can be difficult to learn to self sooth, and go to sleep. When this happens, and I have difficulty letting it go... I’ve found Chamomile tea and/or valerian works like a charm for me. I hope this helps.
I would suggest egcg (but not too much) in the form of green tea extract with the 5-htp for safety reasons. and maybe don't take the combo every day. If well tolerated, tryptophan has fewer safety concerns than the 5-htp + egcg combination. Do you tolerate tryptophan-rich foods well? It's also available as a supplement.
It’s just a pacifier but not a real solution
Hoe does it being natural change anything?
I love your videos and thank you so much!!
I love you Daniel!
This took a surprising Twist|
Thank you 👍
My mom gave me Valium in my teens to help me go to sleep.. she used it for her anxiety to cope. In those days. I still need meds to help me sleep.
My Mom sans alcohol. There were obviously family secrets in her own family of origin probably back and back. She was always going to doctors and psychiatrists in on a lot of drugs for mood and sleep and she was pretty much automated buy drugs prescribed by her doctor. Finally 12 years before she died, she was prescribed some medication for blood pressure by a questionable doctor which caused her to pass out and fall and have a concussion where she needed immediate brain surgery in the beginning of the end. It was very sad because even at eighty-seven she was vital she was driving still. She live till ninety nine but progressively her meds had to be altered and scaled down and this was very tough for her. She eventually died from vascular dementia from that fall I believe she would have lived past 100 and likely still driving. She was my earliest perpetrator. Fortunately I reached a much prayed for level of compassion towards her in the last few years of her life especially when she became very disabled.
This is the third years since she died and possibly the toughest year for me around losing her and just losses in my own life and how I used people, places and things to dissociate.
P.S. I like how you describe meds as being useful as therapeutic interventions w/in the framework for self-exploration
It's interesting how nuanced this can be - where is the line between consuming/doing something appropriately vs in an addictive way? how can we reprogram our unconscious patterns we may be unintentionally pushing on others? can we consciously do something in an addictive way knowing it's temporary?
I'm not sure what the answers are, but I feel like cultivating awareness and having open dialogue with others can make a load of difference
I wouldn´t take benzos. So, when you go to another country your sleep schedule is out of order for the next few days? Well...that´s not gonna kill you. I would argue taking a neurotoxin that blows out your mind for a few hours is probably unhealthier than a few days of poor sleep, but who knows. Taking a little selenium and vit b12 also might help for better sleeping quality if sb is deficient (lots of ppl are). My mom was always gonna give me pain medication or anti-inflammatory stuff and I am a smart girl so very early on when I could comprehend what she was giving me there I started to refuse that, because as long as you can stand it, painkillers are the worse choice, damaging your mitochondria/blocking your natural immune responses. She was really pushing them on me, even when I said I wasn´t even in pain, I was just down with fatigue and a fever. Also she was forcing me to take alcohol at some points or at least urging it. I refused. Maybe that was just our game: She wanted me numb and rational and I became more and more irrational and feeling. But maybe doing just the opposite is also not healthy. Not just for the sake of doing it. I am not suggesting anyone numbing their feelings though, unless there seems just no other choice, in which case it will happen naturally anyway.
Do the benzos have a negative effect on REM sleep?
My mother did the same with me....only it was with Valium. I was the same age...around 17. I am still taking meds to help me sleep 50 years later!
Addiction to pills or something else is an avoidant ,deflection of the painful emotions and the difficulties of life
I think I might be addicted to melatonin :(
I’d be careful with that. It’s playing games with your brain chemistry.
I sometimes use Chamomile tea, valerian it 5http for sleep. I take magnesium on a regular basis. Another thing that’s helpful is to avoid alcohol, caffeine, (of course drugs), and no electronics for at least an hour before you want to go to sleep (phone, internet, tv). I hope this helps.
You might need lower doses on the melatonin, maybe as low as 0.3 mg (300 micrograms). The common 3mg is too high for most. (High doses are well tolerated for some conditions though. Melatonin is a powerful antioxidant.)
Also if you're considering 5-htp, I would suggest trying tryptophan (can get as a supplement if you tolerate tryptophan-rich foods) first, for safety reasons, and that might work without you needing 5-htp. EGCG (from green tea extract) can help the safety of 5-htp a bit, just don't overdo EGCG either.
Our society is conditioned by now to accept and believe in those drugs, but don't yet have the inowledge how they work, how the body and soul are affected and what natural causes and solutions there are (to be had). good that you had an intact sound body-sense to not want it, despite lacking the support by family tradition.
I have never heard you talk about natural doctors I think, (o´possibly in your natural-psychosis -healing films, I don't remember). There are natural causes and natural solutions, and the synthetic drugs mess up your sensitive, wondrous, perfect body chemistry and wisdom. And the pills make us lazy, weak-willed, without us knowing.Grateful I got freed in DAA by that fellowship with Godly inspiration and help.
despite all your talking, I appreciate your parents, bcz they gave birth to u :)
Eureka!
For anyone else who has this problem. Put a drop of warm clarified butter(ghee) in each of your nostril. Stress and trauma fucks our mind but sometimes managing the body can help. Peace.
Have I been an addiction for someone . . . a series of someones, perhaps? To the manner born?
watching this while popping my own perscription pills :D
🙏🙏
My mom wanted me dumb and pliable so she could keep me in church. She ha also been taking SSRIs non stop for 30 years.
Weed is the only thing that makes my brain feel my body in a calm way, the first time in my entire life, i don't think i can experience it sober :(
Prescribed drugs were the only way she knew how to cope with her pain and sorrow. Maybe she didn't want you to be an addict consciously. After all, we only give what we have. Don't you think?
If you can take 1 Valium 3x a year, then you are awesome.
How fast did you run the hurdles??
22.2 secs
Same lol
Mr Mackler Sir! i love your videos! i have a suggestion! you should grow out your beard haha
a lot of repetitive thoughts on your mind, anxiety? well: meditate at least 20 minutes every day
Why didnt she bother to speak to and tend to yur emotional needs in that moment. Its sad how neglectful a stressed out parent can be.
Unfortunately this type of parent is unaware that they are being neglectful.
Isn't this some munchausen that we're talking about?
You can do Mindfulness Daniel, body scan and lake meditation.