Currently studying to become a therapist like you, Daniel. :) Right, you have to be a 'man/wunerable human being' toward the client - not merely a 'professional'.
whenever i listen to this guy im amazed at how helpful, reasonable and considerate he is. his videos have helped me more than 12 years of attempting to find and navigate therapists, all of which ended up leaving me significantly worse off than before i saw them. unfortunately it seems therapy is littered with many people who are in great need of therapy themselves
I went to a psych student for therapy , and when I asked what his therapy had been like, he said he'd never had any...well, except for a few weeks for panic attacks. Buh-bye.
If it can help, the best therapist I found was through RateMD. I emailed the top ranking therapist, the one with the best comments, and she suggested someone to me. The therapist she suggested has pretty much the qualities Daniel keeps putting forward: honesty, openness, ability to listen and take criticism, and also to be creative and challenge me. So yeah, RateMD. Worth a shot ^ ^
It's so gross how in this country we charge people money who feel like ending their life. What if a person is suicidal because of financial problems? What then? Our systems in this country are so cruel and sickening!!
MrPaddlepower We live in another uk where there’s an f before the u and a c before the k and an ed after the k because that’s the situation you’re in when you’re born in such a despicable rotten shit hole and there’s no foreplay and/or lube.
What I find disappointing is how few purported experts ever bring up the link between societal core values and high rates of mental illness. It the system is based on competition, is it then any wonder when anxiety and depression become so commonplace? Any system that designates winners and losers is deeply flawed. Nature teaches us that every things has its purpose and if one looks closely you notice that in essence they really do not compete (social Darwinism was a perversion of Darwin's observations) but instead find niches...or not. It is never really a matter of competition, yet for some reason many human societies have embraced this very toxic, unnatural and self- and nature-defeating approach.
If only everyone who needed help could connect with someone as truly caring and genuine as you there would be much less suicide, thank you Daniel for what you do
Reach out to others in your neighborhood and community and not only will you find incredible purpose and opportunities but you will find anti-anxiety and anti-depression strategies better than any pill.
I spent 5 years working as a Mental Health Nurse in an inpatient psychiatric ward for young people. Many of the kids I worked with were suicidal. What Daniel says here is 100% spot on! It is amazing to hear another person, whom I've never met, articulate the EXACT same conclusions I arrived at so incredibly well. Thank you again, Daniel. I am now training as a therapist, and your videos never fail to inspire me.
@@ivena534 Awesome to hear! We need more genuine human beings doing this sort of work, who ground themselves in genuine compassion and a desire to alleviate suffering. Sincerest blessings on your journey! ❤️
So is your training teaching you to be "neutral", "objective", and a "blank slate" and to keep your own feelings out of it? That's how I was trained. They work really hard to train you the absolutely wrong stuff. Or else you're "unprofessional". Most "therapists" buy it.
Definitely sooo helpful to have many of him.. and.. he’s helping soooo many people here now.. and as he explained.. in his video about why he stopped being a therapist.. he said he was sooo absorbed by the feelings.. w his clients.. that he wasn’t able to do anything else.. for anyone, or himself, have a relationship.. or really enjoy his life and travel.. soo he’s actually better for all of us.. being accessible here.. big big love .. I hear ya.. 🤍💚💙💖💜
I believe he is doing better work on his channel than he could as a practicing therapist. He is reaching so many people obviously not as hands on or direct but still.
Daniel Mackler is certainly a rare counselor in offering to cut his rates but this video shows how sick our society is to have to pay someone to listen to your problems. This demonstrates the total breakdown of community in the United States. Loss of extended and now even nuclear family, church, work and local (town, hobby) communities, true friendships. Makes for an extremely anxiety ridden, lonely society which sees "meaning" only in material things. No wonder religious cults are exploding in the States (as is mental illness and the psychotherapy!psychiatric industry) and now all over the western capitalist world as people are desperate for community and meaning their lives devoid of it.
You said it so perfectly. It's now all about how much money you have. And now that social media has consumed people's lives and replaced real relationships, the deterioration of connections has really accelerated.
@@aquamarine0023 Both of you have said some profound and accurate things. isolation and compartmentalization are so great that people are looking high and low for validation, even in the most toxic and abusive environments. Any yet there are the permaculture and natural building cultures that are resisting our dissociative societies with its toxic and corrosive values. Even SM can bring minds together, can offer validation when and where it otherwise would not exist and provide sources of inspiration. I agree however that the ultimate goal of our lives should be effecting equity, embracing collaborative cooperation and human rights and re-naturalizing the Earth (and living symbiotically with the natural world). We can do it but it will take all of us.
About 8 months ago, my therapist abandoned me without warning. It was the most traumatic thing that had ever happened to me. I became extremely suicidal. I sought out multiple different therapists who didn't help or made it significantly worse. During that time I took on about a dozen different harmful coping mechanisms like alcohol, cutting, and binge eating. It got so bad that I was sent to an inpatient facility. I haven't been able to work since January because the pain is just too much. On top of that, I had to move back in with my parents. I am 23 years old. For a decade now, I have struggled with severe depression along with a whole bunch of other stuff that was never addressed. About a year and a half ago, I started doing everything I could to heal from it. I was doing everything I could to develop myself physically, spiritually, mentally, relationally, etc. I made significant progress, but none of it helped. Therapy was my last resort. Now I can't even read the word "therapy" without getting flashbacks and painful emotions flooding in. I don't know what to do anymore. I have run out of options. I hate the profession. I would have been better off if I had never sought out therapy. What can someone like me do?
a therapist abandoning you is malpractice and absolutely unforgivable. I had a lawyer do that in the middle of a difficult case, also malpractice, similar feeling. Hold in there 🙏
Volunteer. When you're helping others, it helps you too. It gives you a sense of purpose, a reason to live for, because someone else is needing you. It could be at a soup kitchen, an animal sanctuary, an orphanage, a refugee camp, the possibilities are endless.
i can explain the reason why antidepressants increase the risk of suicide: when someone has major depression they don't have energy to do anything, they also don't have energy to act on their suicidal ideas but the antidepressants increase motivation and energy overall so the person ends up using that ''energy'' to commit suicide. this shows that antidepressants don't solve anything... i am a psychiatrist and i hate the current mental ''health'' system. i found your channel yesterday and i've been binge watching since. i love your content !!! please keep doing what you love.
You deserve a deep bow of gratitude. A human being who is willing to lower fees and see clients multiple times in one week deserves the deepest respect - especially when for many others, sticking the person into the loony bin and making them the hospital’s responsibility is the go-to approach.
Your case actually approved my theory that only therapist who detached themselves from the client feelings actually survive in this field. I wish you could be my therapist. I’ve experienced a horrible relationship with therapist which causes me a lot of trauma. Actually more trauma than the life itself.
Daniel what kind heart you have. You are such a gift. But I see why you burned out! The way you worked...it was a matter of time. It makes perfect sense that you offered to see the suicidal clients more often. But generally it sounds like you wanted to help too much and you were seeing way too many clients, you worked too much, you were investing all of yourself to the last inch....your level of commitment and dedication was admirable but also crazy. In the end the world lost a rare and talented therapist. At least we have you on RUclips.
I am deeply suicidal (but not going to do something I have been suicidal pretty much since I was 5 and I want to change that, terrified of this climate collapse, because social isolation is making me intensely suicidal,) and I have to say these videos really help! I wish I had a therapist who could offer that much time. I had to leave my primary care office; ha, “care” office; I felt like I was going to a court room to defend my sanity. “And you consider that abusive?” “Do you think he was leering at you because of your body shape? Ok? So what?” (That one was shocking; we were talking about my father.) “and why are you bringing this up now?” (Wanted a ptsd diagnoses for trauma treatment purposes. Didn’t realize there was a deadline.) “you just think the world revolves around you don’t you?” (When I tried to explain how I crave connection but I’m terrified of enmeshment since obsession WAS coaxed as love. No, I don’t think the world revolves around me. But ouch. Label me a narc while you’re at it too 🤷🏼♀️ some of these therapists actually do leave you with a feeling of being worthless and hated like DAMN someone whose job it is to care hates me too... therapists can easily traumatized patients and so many are narcissists themselves.. I don’t get why they’re therapists if they don’t care; they all seemed trained the same way at this care office because they all had these same patterns of behavior.) this was off and on for ten years. Was seeking trauma do you the fact I endured years of incesteous abuse from my father, and my mother hated me for “not ‘making her feel like a good mom” because I was traumatized... it was like having a 4 year old for a mother. and she smeared me special needs. Destroyed Being raised Mormon +living with my attacker + the fact I’m actually intelligent and could’ve thrived in life if she didn’t smear me “special needs.” (And he’s a Mormon porn wanker who loves the concept of pologymy, wanted a “mini wife.”) this has made me want to die since I was 5. Finally became aware of it and had a voice and no one cared. I finally have a therapist since I switched who gives a damn. It is really strange like she actually wants to talk about my feelings and trauma. Is extremely humanistic and empathetic. Agreed I’m traumatized rather than “disordered” which I so appreciate. I can’t process emdr till I leave my toxic environment which she is helping me do just that. In the meantime these videos really help; I wish more therapists were like this! Most want to label and pill you. I felt so degraded when my mother died and 3 months into therapy I’m labeled “major depressed” and the covert sexual abuse is downplayed as I’m grieving the loss of my mother. I am so hoping intensive care helps. I have one bookmarked that also accepts my insurance and says “validation and connection is key to healing.” I want to work with both of them, hoping it helps curb being suicidal. Until then, sitting tight. I have finally started writing again and that is painful and therapeutic. Self compassion is also REALLY hard but I’m finding the more I do it the easier it gets. I really want to heal and then become a therapist myself. Hope my sabotogized education doesn’t hinder that and can move forward. It’s angst.
I think he will blow up (although close to 40k isn't bad considering how hard it is to stand out on RUclips), but it would probably help if the thumbnails had more to them.
About the crying part at 4:00 : In my teenage years i've also been in a very dark place. The thing that saved me from doing regrettable things was actually someone crying, as I told her my story. That made me realise what was actually going on and motivated me to change. I am incredibly grateful and never looked back.
What you're saying shows that a good therapist has to be a good human. The person who pushed me the most to suicide was a therapist (psychiatrist and psychoanalyst) who was convinced that he was a precious help to all his patients. For me, to have survived it and to have discovered that people like that exist and blind themselves was an important lesson. Finding you on RUclips afterwards gave me back my confidence (in myself and potentially in other people).
You are such a gifted therapist, Daniel. The clients who were so fortunate to have worked with you are blessed. Your teachings in this video have helped me, thank you
My therapist gave me homework & we would discuss that. She said to go out every day, if possible and smile and greet strangers. So the next week she asked me how it went, to be able to connect with people. This was difficult being an extremely shy person. I told her it went okay until you got someone who ignored you. Then you felt even worse. So she changed it up saying to first make eye contact & smile, then greet with, "good morning or good afternoon". If they refuse to make eye contact then do not greet them. This really worked, especially when they greeted you back. It's a beginning if you don't have a therapist to talk to & you live alone.
Most of us out here are not Clinical, Licensed Therapists, so we don't have the same structures to operate in. There are things we can do that you can't and visa versa. One thing which I find incredibly disrespectful and dehumanizing is the Mandated Reporting rule. When I was a Peer Support Specialist over 10 years ago, our organization was pressured to get all of our Coaches to sign a document stating that we promise to report. I refused and it caused a big stink. Having such an obligation prevents people from being honest and when they're not honest, you can't help them. I've been on the wrong end of this several times - once resulting in an involuntary Hospitalization. Never again. I hope I live to see the day when this stupid rule is obsoleted by genuine human concern and care. One thing that we non-pros can offer is Presence. Since you were bound to the transactional model, you didn't have the freedom to go over to the person's house, or stay up all night with them online or on the phone or whatever and just listen to them or talk to them or help them do dishes or laundry or play cards or just be present. I've done this many times online and helped people more than they've ever been helped. And I've also helped people face to face in ways that no Mandated Reporter of Licensed Therapist could ever do. There are things I've done that I can't talk about because it would have resulted in people getting hurt, red tape, delays, punishment, etc. but it was the best thing to do and I was the only person available to do it. Regular people can jump between a person and death and as long as they have a "whatever it takes" attitude, can be effective. It's not about making sure they don't die. If it were, then putting them in jail would work. It's about making sure they know they are loved and cared about and that _someone_ will do whatever it takes to help them with whatever. People who know this don't want to die. And this can rewire their brains much better than drugs! I hope to be a part of building a completely different kind of community structure where those who have experience intense states or sense things that others don't can live surrounded by caring people who will be available to them to talk or eat or play or whatever together until they experience passes, because it always passes. The current default is for the people they live close to to call the police and stay inside their homes and lock the doors and peep out the peep hole until they are dragged off to the hospital. Our society is sick and insane. And we need to be healed.
Whenever I have felt at my worst it was because I felt trapped and what I needed was to change my life as opposed to take it. I have never known a psychiatrist offer myself control only take it. I was once told " unfortunately you have a very serious mental health condition and we will be in your life for the rest of your life" . It was devastating to hear as I hate the entire system in the UK where it seems our rights etc are kept from us so we are more easily managed by people who just don't have the time for us. As it happened I did not have schizoaffective disorder which I was labelled with after they couldn't bracket me but ptsd and aspergers. I was told for the years they believed me schizoaffective that the trauma I had endured "might have happened to me and, may not have happened to me" or that "some of it might have happened to me" Surviving the mental health system has been an achievement in itself and I'm not sure if I've escaped it now but covid is making it easier. Unfortunately I was given anti-psychotic drugs and anti depressants that I didn't need as when I stuck to my story of trauma trying to explain they believed they just needed to up my dose to release me from my delusion and inability to accept my condition. I suffered this for 8/9 years. The psychiatric unit/system is now probably a bigger trauma to me than what originally happened, I tried everything to make my nurses/doctors believe me sometimes I thought they were starting to, on one occasion I got a letter through (notes about myself on a careplan) that read.. "patient shows some insight into condition as in they know they have to take medication." I was completely devastated as I was hopeful that through fitting their patterns of normal if I could appear as rational when presenting myself to them they would start to believe me. Nine years of being told my trauma didn't happen or that it may not have happened when I was in fact still being harassed by the perpetrators but I couldn't explain this or I was labelled as dillusional and unwell. These people who knew the mental health system were laughing knowing how I'd be trapped in it. It eventually took somebody else to rescue me. I had to have someone come forward for me and say this did actually happen to her. Due to it being a crime no one would want to get involved in I was trapped in being unable to prove it. For me the feeling of being trapped is the biggest likelihood in suicide and our UK system with its lack of counselling and over prescribing is dangerous a system where we are referred to as like our conditions "managed" . It's also very unaware of autism as when I was in there offices I was constantly stimming and when I cry and I cried a lot I hand flap (bat my hands towards my face in an attempt to manage myself and stop the tears.) They totally missed all of this. They say that suicide is the ultimate failure of society and with the surrealism of the world getting bigger counselling is really needed. Our teenagers most definitely need the pressure taken off them when it comes to exams and to be taught its alright to fail there really is next time. The whole online obsession with possession is contributing to this as they see people who are incredibly materialistic as the norm with their latest phones/cars etc. It's just sell, sell ,sell and its making our children feel inadequate for the sake of capitalist gain. I see children choosing options in subjects they don't even like or maybe not taking ones they excell at because they believe they should chase that high paid job for the appearance of being" sorted". I just want happiness for them and people in general and this comes with feeling a certain amount of freedom.
you're seriously amazing. in 16 minutes you've explained something i've been struggling with for my entire adolescence. i've been chronically suicidal for my whole adolescence and have had to see numerous therapists because of it, they would all leave me in a worse state afterward and i would always wonder why they had to treat me the way they did. but what you're saying is so relatable and makes perfect sense and has given me hope that there are some good therapists out there. please dont stop making videos like this, they're so helpful and i have a lot of respect for you
You posted this in the most perfect time ever. Been dealing with a very suicidal friend who is very dear to me. This helps to reassure me that i'm doing the right thing the right way. Thank you.
There are no guarantees. All you can do is your best. If they finally decide to do it, they won't text you first to give you time to stop them. You have to hold them in an open hand/heart. 💔💗
So many people are just not good at sitting back and really listening to what someone is telling them. People get impatient, interrupt, and could sit and watch stuff on their phone or television, but another person??? They don't care.
Having been this way myself I agree good relationships are so very important, however I found I had to be admitted to hospital immediately. I found great care in hospital and I was saved. Authenticity is so important and real caring and compassion can be life saving. Yes extreme childhood trauma is too common. Grieving and making sense of the trauma is very important. Wonderful discussion. Very Inspiring. Human connection and compassion. My SSRI and the expertise of my psychiatrist saved my life
My favourite thing about this pandemic is that mental health services are deemed non-essential, so I cannot see my therapist in person. Online doesn't cut it. I was trying to escape that trap. Been having a hard couple of weeks, and there is no help available.....
Just yesterday 12 hours ago, my friend send me a message say he has the idea of suicide , Thank u for this video , you like an Angel sent from God Thank u so much
I have many regrets on replay, big, big, ginormous, mistakes or inactions that made me lose money, due to depression or anger about society and how we live or traumas I cannot erase or get past because the effects, they linger, forever and come over me. I can’t mend. I used to have such passion.
Daniel, you are a rare gem in this crazy world. Your clients were blessed to have you as their therapist and we are blessed to be able to watch and listen to you on RUclips. Thank God for such a beautiful soul. 🙏🏼✨💓
unfortunately, therapists don't do that. mostly it's about the ego of the therapist, they choosing this profession as a way to define themselves in their own eyes, and the eyes of others, if someone wants to help people, they just do it, they don't become a therapist, they just go out and help people. That's why this profession is so problematic, this is why it can cause so much pain and hurt, pain that the therapist won't feel but the patient will have to carry, because someone always have to take the fall.
Wow, you really cared about your patients. Instead, my therapist said that people who thought about suicide were weak, and nobody liked being around weak people. Yikes. Lucky me that I wasn't that suicidal, that made me feel absolutely terrible, but never made me actually want to take my own life. I feel for the other people who were unlucky enough to go through here that were in a worse state.
Self-harm takes many forms and has many degrees. Authentic healing comes from giving of ourselves to others-that is how we integrate our own true selves and validate our interconnections to others and the web of life.
Hi Daniel, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this subject. I had life changing events with MH, long story short, im now doing a MSc in Psychotherapy, working in a crisis center, with adhd and dyslexia and i personally think my own experience are part of my power/energy to want/need to support others. I have learned alot from this video, and ultimately reflected on my own practices. There is real power in a humanistic approach in supporting others. Have a wonderful day 😊
I’ve been seeing my therapist for a little over two years now. I’m very glad to say she shares a similar prospective and ideology to the one you mentioned. She’s really good but often I notice myself sort of thinking about her as more then just my therapist. Of course whenever I notice this I stop these thoughts but I wonder if I should share them with her and get her opinion if theres anything that needs to be done
Bryan Post teaches that there is a continuum that starts with Attitude, when someone reacts to that attitude, that attitude gets pushed down into a Feeling, when someone reacts to a feeling, that feeling gets pushed down into a Behavior, when someone reacts to that behavior, that behavior gets pressed into Anger and Depression. Bryan then talks about learning to Respond instead of React. He mostly deals with fostered and adopted children, mostly teaching the parents or guardians of how to deal with the situations that can arise with children who are fostered or adopted. His teachings helped me understand how interactions between people can go towards resolving certain situations or adding more complications.
A few days ago, I dropped my therapist after how coldly she treated me when I was feeling hopeless. If I were (more) suicidal, it might have pushed me over the edge. It's going to be very difficult to ever trust therapists again after my experiences. None were terrible, but they were all mediocre at best.
Another incredible video, thank you so much. Probably one of my favorites. I just got out of my 16th inpatient stay. I knew going in I was only going for detainment and lo and behold it is but I was also forced on a seizure medication for a diangosis of bipolar that was given within 15 minutes of even of meeting with me, without consulting my 8 years worth of psych and medical history and also the fact I was currently cold turkeying from severe dxm use. I got in there and got into my white walled room and was like wow, I always feel more worthless when I get into these places than I even felt before. So I really appreciate hearing your efforts with individuals, although that must have been so tough to take on yourself emotionally. Actually having compassion for people in deep pain. Bless you. It truly saves lives
Thank you Daniel, you help more than you know. Your videos have changed my perspective and my life, they’ve helped me take care of myself and start to process my childhood trauma. Thank you.
He's right, most hospitals do not have competent psychoanalysts or psychodynamic therapists on staff, certainly not for those in psychosis. Just med checkers. And he's way underestimating what they charge you per night for this non-treatment. Kind of a bizarre joke. Imagine doing that with any other illness. If only each hospital had to have at least 2 on staff, and not trainees, the mental health picture in this country would be quite different.
My therapist is the best. He's believed me when I had no proof. He's been my only advocate. & mental hospital for me made it so bad that I avoid it at all costs..
What if you aren't extroverted and don't really have any close friends day-to-day? How do you progress the 'social animal' aspect if you have no foundation at all? How do you even find people to 'give a shit' if you're a very awkward and reserved person that many people don't have the patient to get to know? Is that something you have to change about yourself to be more approachable?
The ugly truth is that people only care about you for the things you can do for them. No one cares about you for who you are. If you expect someone to, you'll be disappointed every time. (Except your family, they care because you share their genes) You want people to care about you? Ask yourself what it is that you have to offer them.
If you are at the bottom of the success pyramid and a male in this society you are pretty mutch screwed unless you get into a higher position socially, monetarily, statuswise. No one in the western world give you intristic value as a male- especially from women.
The first therapist I finally admitted to having suicidal thoughts (since I was 12, so a very long time ) initially responded that she "wouldn't have me comitted...yet ".. that was literally her first response. It sort of was like my worst fear come true . I was seeking help for chronic self destructive thoughts that were holding me back, and the first therapist who I shared this issue with held commitment over my head during our very first session, which is what I feared would happen. I shouldn't have gone back to her after the first session. I wasted a lot of $$ and felt worse than better over the time of a year's worth of sessions every other week. I've seen a cpl therapists before in my life that were helpful , but not so much her .
I've said it before and I'll say it again: You are a Gem Daniel! I love your authenticity, your courage to be open, your generosity. You are an inspiration.
From my experience suicidality is a message from the outside world that you do not matter. The message gets internalised as one’s own message. But it is not. It’s signalling from others coupled with an internal depression from circumstances
I don't understand why you're not still a therapist, Daniel. I know you have reasons why, but this video slammed it out of the park. korea, for example, has a huge suicide problem. I know many suicidal people. Maybe this pandemic can help to create those connections you speak of, in a new format. Maybe the old format simply didn't fit your style. Thank you!
Kind of odd how the therapy relationship is human but not human. They are trained to be objective, a blank slate, unemotional, "professional", and not really there. Even while some textbooks tout the value of the "therapeutic relationship". He's going against all their training. .And odd that after such an intense and lifesaving relationships, they wouldn't at least send him a Christmas card every year or something.
People being emotionally numb is ultimate where the modern society is heading. Being emotionless productive robots is what the current system wants of people and how it treats people.
This is something I wish I could do with my current therapist. This pandemic situation and having to deal with the narcissists have made me become panicked and somewhat suicidal because I feel like I am stuck in a mental cage. What made me forget about the trauma a bit was being with friends while studying abroad. But my therapist keeps going like ' I believe you have the capacity to do better than what you think you do' when saying that while dealing with the PTSD and OCD symptoms it's becoming unbearable. Idk if I should change therapists bcs she also says that tbh I shouldn't also be taking as many meds as I've been prescribed. If anything, only the one for SOS occasions in anxiety situations.
Love your videos, I think you must've been a great therapist, very caring. I was wondering if you ever worked in a mental health out-patient clinic with mostly low income clients? I have depression, anxiety and PTSD and have lots to say about my experiences in a number of thyese mental health centers. Once a therapist came out of her office to get me in the lobby for my appointment - only I was in the bathroom. When I came out, I saw another client just leaving the therapist's empty office that the therapist hadn't LOCKED. I asked what she was doing alone in there, and she made up some excuse that the therapist had given her permission to go in and use her hand lotion whenever she wanted. No doubt this client saw an opportunity to go into the therapist's office and peek inside my case file on her desk! When I had a problem with another client (who was not seeing my therapist, but another one) my therapist saw her first before I could give her my side of the story. She admitted talking to this other client ABOUT me. I was shocked, knowing what an egregious violation of my HIPA rights that was. When I apparently showed my surprise that she'd done that, and asked her exactly what she said, she got defensive and wouldn't tell me, just blowing the whole thing off. Other things, from indignities, lack of respect, being ridiculed rather blatantly the staff person assuming that because someone is labelled mentally ill, they can't pick up on it when they are being mocked. One male van driver/staff for outings, would make joking/snide remarks about the female clients to the a*hole, wiseguy male clients. He would be huddling, all of them tittering, talking low - but when I approached grow silent and stare into space. On holiday dinners at a restaurant, and in diners on outings, certain staff not interacting, sitting afar and pretending they aren't with us 'mentally ill people' for fear a waitress might assume they are one of us - this has happened a number of times. These are just a few examples. It's probably not legal, but I think potential staff interviewees should be given standard personality assessments to weed out at least the most flagrant individuals who have a general lack of empathy, or are even psychopathic to some degree. I am now therapy, mental health center free. I just get my psych meds from my regular doctor and feel a lot better about myself, not having to undergo on a regular basis all the psychological abuse, diminishment, scorn and ridicule many of these unqualified staff (from a character-integrity standpoint) dish out to their 'lesser-than' clients on a regular basis, just because they can and are in a position of power to do so.
I'd love to hear what you would advise / thoughts for someone who has died from suicide and brought back ♥️🌈🙏 Thank you for all that you share it's a beautiful light in the world
Thanks for much for this Daniel. I was wondering your thoughts around boundaries in terms of seeing someone everyday a week or more than twice a week. Currently doing my Masters in Psychotherapy here in Aus (very person-centred, depathologising, very much in line with your views on therapy). I can imagine for me, modelling a healthy relationship would include having my own boundaries that they don't necessarily have complete access to me. Seeing someone all the time I can imagine would help connect people to their own humanity and therefore decreasing suicidality, but how this might change the therapeutic relationship down the line? Any thoughts you had on this would be appreciated. P.S. I've commented this before but, it was your video that started my interest in psychotherapy. Over three years later I'm seeing clients as an intern and learning so much. Thankyou for all your insights.
I went through this process nothing to live for no future all reasons and purpose gone and NHS didn’t do a damn thing 😅 I had to get angry at the victimisers or I was going to direct it inwards at myself
Were you never concerned that a client getting too attached if you meet that many times a week? I've had therapists who were way too eager to cultivate a very enmeshed relationship with me, which ended up devastating me in the end. How does a therapist know if the relationship has become too close, or that a client has maybe become too dependant or emotionally entangled with the therapist?
Hi,Daniel. Any chance that you could recommend a therapist or clinic in NYC that does sliding scale? I found a therapist that I would feel confident working with (after many failed attempts) but he doubled his rate recently despite now working from home. Clearly he doesn't owe me anything but at $200 a session it's near impossible to start. Socioeconomics surely awakens one from their existential crisis, misplaced idealism towards therapists before the deep sleep of comfortable numbness and workholism self-alienates them for good. But since I'm still here maybe it hasn't taken all of me yet. Thanks in advance.
I think I'm only ever heard before that it's for the patient's benefit to not see a therapist too frequently--if they're genuinely in a crisis to the point where they're a danger to themselves or others, then they should be in inpatient. I feel so validated to hear an established, successful therapist has the alternate opinion that sometimes you might see a patient very frequently, and it doesn't somehow make them dependent or otherwise harm the patient, but helps them get better. I've always felt like it was disingenuous to say that this 50 minutes per week standard is enough for all problems and that people need time to reflect and grow in between appointments and it's normal to feel like you need more therapy but the healthy thing to do is to just endure it. I can see the argument that it's more for a therapist's benefit, and I do think that's somewhat valid but to go as far as to say that there is no added benefit to the patient with more therapy is a bit much.
I wonder why you stopped beeing a Therapist 8 years ago but you always talk about therapy on your channel. Looks almost like you would still like to work as one.
Currently trying to find a therapist like you. It’s like navigating a minefield.
Currently studying to become a therapist like you, Daniel. :)
Right, you have to be a 'man/wunerable human being' toward the client - not merely a 'professional'.
whenever i listen to this guy im amazed at how helpful, reasonable and considerate he is. his videos have helped me more than 12 years of attempting to find and navigate therapists, all of which ended up leaving me significantly worse off than before i saw them. unfortunately it seems therapy is littered with many people who are in great need of therapy themselves
I went to a psych student for therapy , and when I asked what his therapy had been like, he said he'd never had any...well, except for a few weeks for panic attacks. Buh-bye.
If it can help, the best therapist I found was through RateMD. I emailed the top ranking therapist, the one with the best comments, and she suggested someone to me. The therapist she suggested has pretty much the qualities Daniel keeps putting forward: honesty, openness, ability to listen and take criticism, and also to be creative and challenge me. So yeah, RateMD. Worth a shot ^ ^
Caroline Prenoveau thanks Caroline, I have an appointment tomorrow and if it flops, I will definitely check them out. Everything is online now anyway
It's so gross how in this country we charge people money who feel like ending their life. What if a person is suicidal because of financial problems? What then? Our systems in this country are so cruel and sickening!!
Thank god i live in the uk , Its not perfect but it doesn't strip you of loads of cash .
MrPaddlepower We live in another uk where there’s an f before the u and a c before the k and an ed after the k because that’s the situation you’re in when you’re born in such a despicable rotten shit hole and there’s no foreplay and/or lube.
What I find disappointing is how few purported experts ever bring up the link between societal core values and high rates of mental illness. It the system is based on competition, is it then any wonder when anxiety and depression become so commonplace? Any system that designates winners and losers is deeply flawed. Nature teaches us that every things has its purpose and if one looks closely you notice that in essence they really do not compete (social Darwinism was a perversion of Darwin's observations) but instead find niches...or not. It is never really a matter of competition, yet for some reason many human societies have embraced this very toxic, unnatural and self- and nature-defeating approach.
Ll
@MrPaddlepowerp
If only everyone who needed help could connect with someone as truly caring and genuine as you there would be much less suicide, thank you Daniel for what you do
Reach out to others in your neighborhood and community and not only will you find incredible purpose and opportunities but you will find anti-anxiety and anti-depression strategies better than any pill.
I spent 5 years working as a Mental Health Nurse in an inpatient psychiatric ward for young people. Many of the kids I worked with were suicidal.
What Daniel says here is 100% spot on! It is amazing to hear another person, whom I've never met, articulate the EXACT same conclusions I arrived at so incredibly well.
Thank you again, Daniel. I am now training as a therapist, and your videos never fail to inspire me.
Lane G I have spent years as a mental health nurse too. I am also studying psychotherapy and loving it. I Love all that Daniel shares ❤️🙏
@@ivena534 Awesome to hear! We need more genuine human beings doing this sort of work, who ground themselves in genuine compassion and a desire to alleviate suffering. Sincerest blessings on your journey! ❤️
So is your training teaching you to be "neutral", "objective", and a "blank slate" and to keep your own feelings out of it? That's how I was trained. They work really hard to train you the absolutely wrong stuff. Or else you're "unprofessional". Most "therapists" buy it.
Hope, you are doing well now
Its really a shame that you gave up being a therapist, Daniel since you are the epitome of the perfect therapist
True
Maybe one day he returns
Definitely sooo helpful to have many of him.. and.. he’s helping soooo many people here now.. and as he explained.. in his video about why he stopped being a therapist.. he said he was sooo absorbed by the feelings.. w his clients.. that he wasn’t able to do anything else.. for anyone, or himself, have a relationship.. or really enjoy his life and travel.. soo he’s actually better for all of us.. being accessible here.. big big love .. I hear ya.. 🤍💚💙💖💜
maybe current practicing therapists can come across his page and take many notes.
I believe he is doing better work on his channel than he could as a practicing therapist. He is reaching so many people obviously not as hands on or direct but still.
Daniel Mackler is certainly a rare counselor in offering to cut his rates but this video shows how sick our society is to have to pay someone to listen to your problems. This demonstrates the total breakdown of community in the United States. Loss of extended and now even nuclear family, church, work and local (town, hobby) communities, true friendships. Makes for an extremely anxiety ridden, lonely society which sees "meaning" only in material things. No wonder religious cults are exploding in the States (as is mental illness and the psychotherapy!psychiatric industry) and now all over the western capitalist world as people are desperate for community and meaning their lives devoid of it.
You said it so perfectly. It's now all about how much money you have. And now that social media has consumed people's lives and replaced real relationships, the deterioration of connections has really accelerated.
@@aquamarine0023 Both of you have said some profound and accurate things. isolation and compartmentalization are so great that people are looking high and low for validation, even in the most toxic and abusive environments. Any yet there are the permaculture and natural building cultures that are resisting our dissociative societies with its toxic and corrosive values. Even SM can bring minds together, can offer validation when and where it otherwise would not exist and provide sources of inspiration. I agree however that the ultimate goal of our lives should be effecting equity, embracing collaborative cooperation and human rights and re-naturalizing the Earth (and living symbiotically with the natural world). We can do it but it will take all of us.
About 8 months ago, my therapist abandoned me without warning. It was the most traumatic thing that had ever happened to me. I became extremely suicidal. I sought out multiple different therapists who didn't help or made it significantly worse. During that time I took on about a dozen different harmful coping mechanisms like alcohol, cutting, and binge eating. It got so bad that I was sent to an inpatient facility. I haven't been able to work since January because the pain is just too much. On top of that, I had to move back in with my parents. I am 23 years old. For a decade now, I have struggled with severe depression along with a whole bunch of other stuff that was never addressed. About a year and a half ago, I started doing everything I could to heal from it. I was doing everything I could to develop myself physically, spiritually, mentally, relationally, etc. I made significant progress, but none of it helped. Therapy was my last resort. Now I can't even read the word "therapy" without getting flashbacks and painful emotions flooding in. I don't know what to do anymore. I have run out of options. I hate the profession. I would have been better off if I had never sought out therapy. What can someone like me do?
a therapist abandoning you is malpractice and absolutely unforgivable. I had a lawyer do that in the middle of a difficult case, also malpractice, similar feeling. Hold in there 🙏
Volunteer. When you're helping others, it helps you too. It gives you a sense of purpose, a reason to live for, because someone else is needing you. It could be at a soup kitchen, an animal sanctuary, an orphanage, a refugee camp, the possibilities are endless.
i can explain the reason why antidepressants increase the risk of suicide: when someone has major depression they don't have energy to do anything, they also don't have energy to act on their suicidal ideas but the antidepressants increase motivation and energy overall so the person ends up using that ''energy'' to commit suicide. this shows that antidepressants don't solve anything... i am a psychiatrist and i hate the current mental ''health'' system.
i found your channel yesterday and i've been binge watching since. i love your content !!! please keep doing what you love.
You deserve a deep bow of gratitude. A human being who is willing to lower fees and see clients multiple times in one week deserves the deepest respect - especially when for many others, sticking the person into the loony bin and making them the hospital’s responsibility is the go-to approach.
Your case actually approved my theory that only therapist who detached themselves from the client feelings actually survive in this field. I wish you could be my therapist. I’ve experienced a horrible relationship with therapist which causes me a lot of trauma. Actually more trauma than the life itself.
Daniel what kind heart you have. You are such a gift. But I see why you burned out! The way you worked...it was a matter of time. It makes perfect sense that you offered to see the suicidal clients more often. But generally it sounds like you wanted to help too much and you were seeing way too many clients, you worked too much, you were investing all of yourself to the last inch....your level of commitment and dedication was admirable but also crazy. In the end the world lost a rare and talented therapist. At least we have you on RUclips.
I am deeply suicidal (but not going to do something I have been suicidal pretty much since I was 5 and I want to change that, terrified of this climate collapse, because social isolation is making me intensely suicidal,) and I have to say these videos really help! I wish I had a therapist who could offer that much time. I had to leave my primary care office; ha, “care” office; I felt like I was going to a court room to defend my sanity. “And you consider that abusive?” “Do you think he was leering at you because of your body shape? Ok? So what?” (That one was shocking; we were talking about my father.) “and why are you bringing this up now?” (Wanted a ptsd diagnoses for trauma treatment purposes. Didn’t realize there was a deadline.) “you just think the world revolves around you don’t you?” (When I tried to explain how I crave connection but I’m terrified of enmeshment since obsession WAS coaxed as love. No, I don’t think the world revolves around me. But ouch. Label me a narc while you’re at it too 🤷🏼♀️ some of these therapists actually do leave you with a feeling of being worthless and hated like DAMN someone whose job it is to care hates me too... therapists can easily traumatized patients and so many are narcissists themselves.. I don’t get why they’re therapists if they don’t care; they all seemed trained the same way at this care office because they all had these same patterns of behavior.) this was off and on for ten years. Was seeking trauma do you the fact I endured years of incesteous abuse from my father, and my mother hated me for “not ‘making her feel like a good mom” because I was traumatized... it was like having a 4 year old for a mother. and she smeared me special needs. Destroyed Being raised Mormon +living with my attacker + the fact I’m actually intelligent and could’ve thrived in life if she didn’t smear me “special needs.” (And he’s a Mormon porn wanker who loves the concept of pologymy, wanted a “mini wife.”) this has made me want to die since I was 5. Finally became aware of it and had a voice and no one cared. I finally have a therapist since I switched who gives a damn. It is really strange like she actually wants to talk about my feelings and trauma. Is extremely humanistic and empathetic. Agreed I’m traumatized rather than “disordered” which I so appreciate. I can’t process emdr till I leave my toxic environment which she is helping me do just that. In the meantime these videos really help; I wish more therapists were like this! Most want to label and pill you. I felt so degraded when my mother died and 3 months into therapy I’m labeled “major depressed” and the covert sexual abuse is downplayed as I’m grieving the loss of my mother. I am so hoping intensive care helps. I have one bookmarked that also accepts my insurance and says “validation and connection is key to healing.” I want to work with both of them, hoping it helps curb being suicidal. Until then, sitting tight. I have finally started writing again and that is painful and therapeutic. Self compassion is also REALLY hard but I’m finding the more I do it the easier it gets. I really want to heal and then become a therapist myself. Hope my sabotogized education doesn’t hinder that and can move forward. It’s angst.
How on earth do you only have 30K subs?
Right?!
I think he will blow up (although close to 40k isn't bad considering how hard it is to stand out on RUclips), but it would probably help if the thumbnails had more to them.
About the crying part at 4:00 :
In my teenage years i've also been in a very dark place. The thing that saved me from doing regrettable things was actually someone crying, as I told her my story. That made me realise what was actually going on and motivated me to change.
I am incredibly grateful and never looked back.
What you're saying shows that a good therapist has to be a good human.
The person who pushed me the most to suicide was a therapist (psychiatrist and psychoanalyst) who was convinced that he was a precious help to all his patients.
For me, to have survived it and to have discovered that people like that exist and blind themselves was an important lesson.
Finding you on RUclips afterwards gave me back my confidence (in myself and potentially in other people).
You’re fantastic. 🙌🏽✌🏽🧡
As a therapist myself, I wish you were my supervisor
You are such a gifted therapist, Daniel. The clients who were so fortunate to have worked with you are blessed. Your teachings in this video have helped me, thank you
My therapist gave me homework & we would discuss that. She said to go out every day, if possible and smile and greet strangers. So the next week she asked me how it went, to be able to connect with people. This was difficult being an extremely shy person.
I told her it went okay until you got someone who ignored you. Then you felt even worse. So she changed it up saying to first make eye contact & smile, then greet with, "good morning or good afternoon". If they refuse to make eye contact then do not greet them. This really worked, especially when they greeted you back.
It's a beginning if you don't have a therapist to talk to & you live alone.
I wish I could find therapist like you in my country :(
you could leave your country.
@@bobham8929 Not now she couldn't.
Di Indonesia?
💔💗
Most of us out here are not Clinical, Licensed Therapists, so we don't have the same structures to operate in. There are things we can do that you can't and visa versa.
One thing which I find incredibly disrespectful and dehumanizing is the Mandated Reporting rule. When I was a Peer Support Specialist over 10 years ago, our organization was pressured to get all of our Coaches to sign a document stating that we promise to report. I refused and it caused a big stink. Having such an obligation prevents people from being honest and when they're not honest, you can't help them. I've been on the wrong end of this several times - once resulting in an involuntary Hospitalization. Never again. I hope I live to see the day when this stupid rule is obsoleted by genuine human concern and care.
One thing that we non-pros can offer is Presence. Since you were bound to the transactional model, you didn't have the freedom to go over to the person's house, or stay up all night with them online or on the phone or whatever and just listen to them or talk to them or help them do dishes or laundry or play cards or just be present. I've done this many times online and helped people more than they've ever been helped. And I've also helped people face to face in ways that no Mandated Reporter of Licensed Therapist could ever do. There are things I've done that I can't talk about because it would have resulted in people getting hurt, red tape, delays, punishment, etc. but it was the best thing to do and I was the only person available to do it. Regular people can jump between a person and death and as long as they have a "whatever it takes" attitude, can be effective. It's not about making sure they don't die. If it were, then putting them in jail would work. It's about making sure they know they are loved and cared about and that _someone_ will do whatever it takes to help them with whatever. People who know this don't want to die. And this can rewire their brains much better than drugs!
I hope to be a part of building a completely different kind of community structure where those who have experience intense states or sense things that others don't can live surrounded by caring people who will be available to them to talk or eat or play or whatever together until they experience passes, because it always passes. The current default is for the people they live close to to call the police and stay inside their homes and lock the doors and peep out the peep hole until they are dragged off to the hospital.
Our society is sick and insane.
And we need to be healed.
Whenever I have felt at my worst it was because I felt trapped and what I needed was to change my life as opposed to take it. I have never known a psychiatrist offer myself control only take it. I was once told " unfortunately you have a very serious mental health condition and we will be in your life for the rest of your life" . It was devastating to hear as I hate the entire system in the UK where it seems our rights etc are kept from us so we are more easily managed by people who just don't have the time for us. As it happened I did not have schizoaffective disorder which I was labelled with after they couldn't bracket me but ptsd and aspergers. I was told for the years they believed me schizoaffective that the trauma I had endured "might have happened to me and, may not have happened to me" or that "some of it might have happened to me" Surviving the mental health system has been an achievement in itself and I'm not sure if I've escaped it now but covid is making it easier. Unfortunately I was given anti-psychotic drugs and anti depressants that I didn't need as when I stuck to my story of trauma trying to explain they believed they just needed to up my dose to release me from my delusion and inability to accept my condition. I suffered this for 8/9 years. The psychiatric unit/system is now probably a bigger trauma to me than what originally happened, I tried everything to make my nurses/doctors believe me sometimes I thought they were starting to, on one occasion I got a letter through (notes about myself on a careplan) that read.. "patient shows some insight into condition as in they know they have to take medication." I was completely devastated as I was hopeful that through fitting their patterns of normal if I could appear as rational when presenting myself to them they would start to believe me. Nine years of being told my trauma didn't happen or that it may not have happened when I was in fact still being harassed by the perpetrators but I couldn't explain this or I was labelled as dillusional and unwell. These people who knew the mental health system were laughing knowing how I'd be trapped in it. It eventually took somebody else to rescue me. I had to have someone come forward for me and say this did actually happen to her. Due to it being a crime no one would want to get involved in I was trapped in being unable to prove it. For me the feeling of being trapped is the biggest likelihood in suicide and our UK system with its lack of counselling and over prescribing is dangerous a system where we are referred to as like our conditions "managed" . It's also very unaware of autism as when I was in there offices I was constantly stimming and when I cry and I cried a lot I hand flap (bat my hands towards my face in an attempt to manage myself and stop the tears.) They totally missed all of this. They say that suicide is the ultimate failure of society and with the surrealism of the world getting bigger counselling is really needed. Our teenagers most definitely need the pressure taken off them when it comes to exams and to be taught its alright to fail there really is next time. The whole online obsession with possession is contributing to this as they see people who are incredibly materialistic as the norm with their latest phones/cars etc. It's just sell, sell ,sell and its making our children feel inadequate for the sake of capitalist gain. I see children choosing options in subjects they don't even like or maybe not taking ones they excell at because they believe they should chase that high paid job for the appearance of being" sorted". I just want happiness for them and people in general and this comes with feeling a certain amount of freedom.
@zorada Nine thankyou It means a lot, bless you too.
you're seriously amazing. in 16 minutes you've explained something i've been struggling with for my entire adolescence. i've been chronically suicidal for my whole adolescence and have had to see numerous therapists because of it, they would all leave me in a worse state afterward and i would always wonder why they had to treat me the way they did. but what you're saying is so relatable and makes perfect sense and has given me hope that there are some good therapists out there. please dont stop making videos like this, they're so helpful and i have a lot of respect for you
You posted this in the most perfect time ever. Been dealing with a very suicidal friend who is very dear to me. This helps to reassure me that i'm doing the right thing the right way. Thank you.
sara hoxha Don’t give up
There are no guarantees.
All you can do is your best.
If they finally decide to do it, they won't text you first to give you time to stop them.
You have to hold them in an open hand/heart.
💔💗
What a marvellous person. Im happy to know good people like you exist
❤I love you man ❤❤❤.
You are a wonderful human being
So many people are just not good at sitting back and really listening to what someone is telling them. People get impatient, interrupt, and could sit and watch stuff on their phone or television, but another person??? They don't care.
Having been this way myself I agree good relationships are so very important, however I found I had to be admitted to hospital immediately. I found great care in hospital and I was saved. Authenticity is so important and real caring and compassion can be life saving. Yes extreme childhood trauma is too common. Grieving and making sense of the trauma is very important. Wonderful discussion. Very Inspiring. Human connection and compassion. My SSRI and the expertise of my psychiatrist saved my life
My favourite thing about this pandemic is that mental health services are deemed non-essential, so I cannot see my therapist in person. Online doesn't cut it. I was trying to escape that trap. Been having a hard couple of weeks, and there is no help available.....
Just yesterday 12 hours ago, my friend send me a message say he has the idea of suicide ,
Thank u for this video , you like an Angel sent from God
Thank u so much
Hello Daniel thank you for all your videos and work helps a lot in my healing. Love from South Africa
Thank you, you’ve been my friend for six years. Thank you for making my day better. For being on my side. For putting me to bed, with hope.
I have many regrets on replay, big, big, ginormous, mistakes or inactions that made me lose money, due to depression or anger about society and how we live or traumas I cannot erase or get past because the effects, they linger, forever and come over me. I can’t mend. I used to have such passion.
Daniel, you are a rare gem in this crazy world. Your clients were blessed to have you as their therapist and we are blessed to be able to watch and listen to you on RUclips. Thank God for such a beautiful soul. 🙏🏼✨💓
unfortunately, therapists don't do that. mostly it's about the ego of the therapist, they choosing this profession as a way to define themselves in their own eyes, and the eyes of others, if someone wants to help people, they just do it, they don't become a therapist, they just go out and help people. That's why this profession is so problematic, this is why it can cause so much pain and hurt, pain that the therapist won't feel but the patient will have to carry, because someone always have to take the fall.
So simple but incredible
Wow, you really cared about your patients. Instead, my therapist said that people who thought about suicide were weak, and nobody liked being around weak people. Yikes. Lucky me that I wasn't that suicidal, that made me feel absolutely terrible, but never made me actually want to take my own life. I feel for the other people who were unlucky enough to go through here that were in a worse state.
Are you serious? They really said that?
I found Viktor Frankl's 'Man's Search for Meaning' helpful, thanks, James
Hey Daniel! You are truly a gift for this world, thank you so much from the heart 😊
Hi Daniel 👋. Today is my birthday and looking back last couple of years, you helped me to be a better person
You are an angel on earth... you are like a bodhisattva 🙏
Incredible people who care still exist, thank you for being you
Self-harm takes many forms and has many degrees. Authentic healing comes from giving of ourselves to others-that is how we integrate our own true selves and validate our interconnections to others and the web of life.
Daniel, cannot thank you enough for sharing your insights into human heart! 😊
Aw. Im moved!
Your level of compassion and patience is a gift to the world. How blessed were those people to have you as a therapist!
Hi Daniel, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this subject. I had life changing events with MH, long story short, im now doing a MSc in Psychotherapy, working in a crisis center, with adhd and dyslexia and i personally think my own experience are part of my power/energy to want/need to support others. I have learned alot from this video, and ultimately reflected on my own practices. There is real power in a humanistic approach in supporting others. Have a wonderful day 😊
I’ve been seeing my therapist for a little over two years now. I’m very glad to say she shares a similar prospective and ideology to the one you mentioned. She’s really good but often I notice myself sort of thinking about her as more then just my therapist. Of course whenever I notice this I stop these thoughts but I wonder if I should share them with her and get her opinion if theres anything that needs to be done
This is one of the best videos ive seen on youtube ever. Its that important and telling. Thank you Daniel
You are amazing!
Thank you for this
Bryan Post teaches that there is a continuum that starts with Attitude, when someone reacts to that attitude, that attitude gets pushed down into a Feeling, when someone reacts to a feeling, that feeling gets pushed down into a Behavior, when someone reacts to that behavior, that behavior gets pressed into Anger and Depression. Bryan then talks about learning to Respond instead of React. He mostly deals with fostered and adopted children, mostly teaching the parents or guardians of how to deal with the situations that can arise with children who are fostered or adopted. His teachings helped me understand how interactions between people can go towards resolving certain situations or adding more complications.
This is interesting. Could you elaborate more on who this guy is? Has he written any books?
@@hai-mel6815
Bryan Post Institute
ruclips.net/user/postinstitute
Bryan Post personal RUclips
ruclips.net/user/66klsaul
A few days ago, I dropped my therapist after how coldly she treated me when I was feeling hopeless. If I were (more) suicidal, it might have pushed me over the edge.
It's going to be very difficult to ever trust therapists again after my experiences. None were terrible, but they were all mediocre at best.
Another incredible video, thank you so much. Probably one of my favorites. I just got out of my 16th inpatient stay. I knew going in I was only going for detainment and lo and behold it is but I was also forced on a seizure medication for a diangosis of bipolar that was given within 15 minutes of even of meeting with me, without consulting my 8 years worth of psych and medical history and also the fact I was currently cold turkeying from severe dxm use. I got in there and got into my white walled room and was like wow, I always feel more worthless when I get into these places than I even felt before. So I really appreciate hearing your efforts with individuals, although that must have been so tough to take on yourself emotionally. Actually having compassion for people in deep pain. Bless you. It truly saves lives
Thank you Daniel, you help more than you know. Your videos have changed my perspective and my life, they’ve helped me take care of myself and start to process my childhood trauma. Thank you.
He's right, most hospitals do not have competent psychoanalysts or psychodynamic therapists on staff, certainly not for those in psychosis. Just med checkers. And he's way underestimating what they charge you per night for this non-treatment. Kind of a bizarre joke. Imagine doing that with any other illness. If only each hospital had to have at least 2 on staff, and not trainees, the mental health picture in this country would be quite different.
You are an angel hero, speaker of truth and love.
My therapist is the best. He's believed me when I had no proof. He's been my only advocate. & mental hospital for me made it so bad that I avoid it at all costs..
What if you aren't extroverted and don't really have any close friends day-to-day? How do you progress the 'social animal' aspect if you have no foundation at all? How do you even find people to 'give a shit' if you're a very awkward and reserved person that many people don't have the patient to get to know? Is that something you have to change about yourself to be more approachable?
i feel exactly the same
@@corsicanlulu me too
The ugly truth is that people only care about you for the things you can do for them. No one cares about you for who you are. If you expect someone to, you'll be disappointed every time. (Except your family, they care because you share their genes)
You want people to care about you? Ask yourself what it is that you have to offer them.
12-step programs. You learn and get socialized there. Wonderfull bunch. The people are there for you - you get to be there for them.
If you are at the bottom of the success pyramid and a male in this society you are pretty mutch screwed unless you get into a higher position socially, monetarily, statuswise. No one in the western world give you intristic value as a male- especially from women.
Thank you, Daniel!
You're so amazing, Daniel. Thank you.
The first therapist I finally admitted to having suicidal thoughts (since I was 12, so a very long time ) initially responded that she "wouldn't have me comitted...yet ".. that was literally her first response. It sort of was like my worst fear come true . I was seeking help for chronic self destructive thoughts that were holding me back, and the first therapist who I shared this issue with held commitment over my head during our very first session, which is what I feared would happen.
I shouldn't have gone back to her after the first session. I wasted a lot of $$ and felt worse than better over the time of a year's worth of sessions every other week. I've seen a cpl therapists before in my life that were helpful , but not so much her .
I've said it before and I'll say it again: You are a Gem Daniel! I love your authenticity, your courage to be open, your generosity. You are an inspiration.
Everyone needs a true bestie or maybe a few close peeps you can alternate getting opinions and advice from, almost your own therapists as friends. 🤗💜
i love to hear you talking. thank you
From my experience suicidality is a message from the outside world that you do not matter. The message gets internalised as one’s own message. But it is not. It’s signalling from others coupled with an internal depression from circumstances
I don't understand why you're not still a therapist, Daniel. I know you have reasons why, but this video slammed it out of the park. korea, for example, has a huge suicide problem. I know many suicidal people. Maybe this pandemic can help to create those connections you speak of, in a new format. Maybe the old format simply didn't fit your style.
Thank you!
Kind of odd how the therapy relationship is human but not human. They are trained to be objective, a blank slate, unemotional, "professional", and not really there. Even while some textbooks tout the value of the "therapeutic relationship". He's going against all their training. .And odd that after such an intense and lifesaving relationships, they wouldn't at least send him a Christmas card every year or something.
Fantastic video! Thank you
Yes. The med thing messed me up so bad! I wish I has researched them!
Thank you Mr. Mackler. This is 100% spot on! 💖
Wait. Are you suggesting treating clients with loving kindness?!
Daniel, you are the best.
You are so on point!
A beautiful video. Thanks Daniel!
People being emotionally numb is ultimate where the modern society is heading. Being emotionless productive robots is what the current system wants of people and how it treats people.
Daniel, can you make a video specifically about therapeutic mistakes?
"MultiSenhor
Daniel, can you make a video specifically about therapeutic mistakes?" -- Sounds like a good idea.
Wow!!! Great video!!!!!
Fascinating.
This is something I wish I could do with my current therapist. This pandemic situation and having to deal with the narcissists have made me become panicked and somewhat suicidal because I feel like I am stuck in a mental cage. What made me forget about the trauma a bit was being with friends while studying abroad. But my therapist keeps going like ' I believe you have the capacity to do better than what you think you do' when saying that while dealing with the PTSD and OCD symptoms it's becoming unbearable. Idk if I should change therapists bcs she also says that tbh I shouldn't also be taking as many meds as I've been prescribed. If anything, only the one for SOS occasions in anxiety situations.
Very important topic.
Thank you so much.
Love your videos, I think you must've been a great therapist, very caring. I was wondering if you ever worked in a mental health out-patient clinic with mostly low income clients? I have depression, anxiety and PTSD and have lots to say about my experiences in a number of thyese mental health centers. Once a therapist came out of her office to get me in the lobby for my appointment - only I was in the bathroom. When I came out, I saw another client just leaving the therapist's empty office that the therapist hadn't LOCKED. I asked what she was doing alone in there, and she made up some excuse that the therapist had given her permission to go in and use her hand lotion whenever she wanted. No doubt this client saw an opportunity to go into the therapist's office and peek inside my case file on her desk! When I had a problem with another client (who was not seeing my therapist, but another one) my therapist saw her first before I could give her my side of the story. She admitted talking to this other client ABOUT me. I was shocked, knowing what an egregious violation of my HIPA rights that was. When I apparently showed my surprise that she'd done that, and asked her exactly what she said, she got defensive and wouldn't tell me, just blowing the whole thing off.
Other things, from indignities, lack of respect, being ridiculed rather blatantly the staff person assuming that because someone is labelled mentally ill, they can't pick up on it when they are being mocked. One male van driver/staff for outings, would make joking/snide remarks about the female clients to the a*hole, wiseguy male clients. He would be huddling, all of them tittering, talking low - but when I approached grow silent and stare into space. On holiday dinners at a restaurant, and in diners on outings, certain staff not interacting, sitting afar and pretending they aren't with us 'mentally ill people' for fear a waitress might assume they are one of us - this has happened a number of times. These are just a few examples. It's probably not legal, but I think potential staff interviewees should be given standard personality assessments to weed out at least the most flagrant individuals who have a general lack of empathy, or are even psychopathic to some degree. I am now therapy, mental health center free. I just get my psych meds from my regular doctor and feel a lot better about myself, not having to undergo on a regular basis all the psychological abuse, diminishment, scorn and ridicule many of these unqualified staff (from a character-integrity standpoint) dish out to their 'lesser-than' clients on a regular basis, just because they can and are in a position of power to do so.
I'd love to hear what you would advise / thoughts for someone who has died from suicide and brought back ♥️🌈🙏 Thank you for all that you share it's a beautiful light in the world
You are awesome
That will be so great if you make a video on schizoid personality disorder. I would very much like to hear your views
Thanks for much for this Daniel. I was wondering your thoughts around boundaries in terms of seeing someone everyday a week or more than twice a week. Currently doing my Masters in Psychotherapy here in Aus (very person-centred, depathologising, very much in line with your views on therapy). I can imagine for me, modelling a healthy relationship would include having my own boundaries that they don't necessarily have complete access to me. Seeing someone all the time I can imagine would help connect people to their own humanity and therefore decreasing suicidality, but how this might change the therapeutic relationship down the line? Any thoughts you had on this would be appreciated.
P.S. I've commented this before but, it was your video that started my interest in psychotherapy. Over three years later I'm seeing clients as an intern and learning so much. Thankyou for all your insights.
I went through this process nothing to live for no future all reasons and purpose gone and NHS didn’t do a damn thing 😅 I had to get angry at the victimisers or I was going to direct it inwards at myself
to hold the space- interesting.grieving as meaning entrance.
Were you never concerned that a client getting too attached if you meet that many times a week? I've had therapists who were way too eager to cultivate a very enmeshed relationship with me, which ended up devastating me in the end. How does a therapist know if the relationship has become too close, or that a client has maybe become too dependant or emotionally entangled with the therapist?
So much common sense here but we are trained to think otherwise.
Many psychotherapists say that they care, but how many would be willing to do what you did?
Hi,Daniel. Any chance that you could recommend a therapist or clinic in NYC that does sliding scale? I found a therapist that I would feel confident working with (after many failed attempts) but he doubled his rate recently despite now working from home. Clearly he doesn't owe me anything but at $200 a session it's near impossible to start. Socioeconomics surely awakens one from their existential crisis, misplaced idealism towards therapists before the deep sleep of comfortable numbness and workholism self-alienates them for good. But since I'm still here maybe it hasn't taken all of me yet. Thanks in advance.
Exactly
I went it that blossom
Help me . Help me I’m stuck in the field
1:07 *Ourselves** (although debatable)
4:31 *Those types**
I think I'm only ever heard before that it's for the patient's benefit to not see a therapist too frequently--if they're genuinely in a crisis to the point where they're a danger to themselves or others, then they should be in inpatient. I feel so validated to hear an established, successful therapist has the alternate opinion that sometimes you might see a patient very frequently, and it doesn't somehow make them dependent or otherwise harm the patient, but helps them get better. I've always felt like it was disingenuous to say that this 50 minutes per week standard is enough for all problems and that people need time to reflect and grow in between appointments and it's normal to feel like you need more therapy but the healthy thing to do is to just endure it. I can see the argument that it's more for a therapist's benefit, and I do think that's somewhat valid but to go as far as to say that there is no added benefit to the patient with more therapy is a bit much.
There is a damn good reason is right...
hiii Daniel, do you take personal calls still? I know you stopped being a therapist. 🙏🏻 if yes. How can I get in touch?
Hi Denim Tee. Ah -- I'm sorry, I don't take personal calls anymore! But I'm wishing you only the best! Daniel
I wonder why you stopped beeing a Therapist 8 years ago but you always talk about therapy on your channel. Looks almost like you would still like to work as one.
The system is broken and he was exhausted.
You've probably answered this in a video that I haven't seen, but why did you stop being a therapist?
Here it is! Why I Quit Being a Therapist -- Six Reasons by Daniel Mackler
ruclips.net/video/f0Fi32LbXHA/видео.html
I would love to see you everyday 😊😅