My heart hurts for you, our childs suicide changes who we are from the very minute we find out, or hear those words. I thought all was right with the world March 24th, 2020, even with just the start of covid here in NJ. Then at 845am my 2 older daughters knocked on my door and I can remember every detail on their faces, the words that went into one ear and went out the other because my brain couldn't even recognize my daughters name. I was confused, seriously confused and yelled at my girls they were lying, but I didnt know why they would say such a thing to me. If only her husband had filled us in that she attempted 8 months prior, but didn't need medical attention, then they went climbing I stead of seeking help or telling her family. This gave her time to order a life ending substance from Amazon 3 mo ths before, wait for her brother to come back from France, went on a job interview, got the job and supposed to start may 2020, but she called me the day before and was worried she wouldn't get the job because of covid just starting ....she left 7 notes written over months to her husband. We finally have all her belongings and her husband put his house on the market a few months ago and moved out.
"If love was enough to stop suicide, suicides would very rarely happen.But love isn't enough and suicides are prevalent." So very true. I've lost two brothers to suicide. Love, unfortunately, wasn't enough to save them.
Suicides happen when you're in that state of mind to end your life, whatever brought you to that point. You could have a lot of people who love you but if you've been shown that you are also very unloved by other people it can still bring you to that point. And then accuracy and successful suicides just really depend on who's around them when they're in that very moment. Most of the time they aren't thinking or caring about anything else they just want to end their life right then and there, and they won't be reaching out to anyone. So if they're alone and have access to methods then it's most likely they will succeed.
I lost my older sister to suicide in 73, lost my mom to suicide four years after my sister. Lost both my sister's kids to suicide. The pain never goes away.
Oh God im so sorry for all those losses. Its inconceivable that anyone could do this to themselves and thier families. Where does it end? I only find my solice in my Jesus and nobody else. That's all I know. We will never be the same again. No! But we can try to keep alive for those we love. @kellygirljc
My brother died by suicide 4 months ago. I feel different from the rest of the world now. Separate. Like no one can understand how much this changed my family and who we are. I miss my brother. I miss my brother.
I lost my baby brother 6 days ago We are heartbroken 💔 His name was Travis Patterson and he was the kindest, smartest and strongest man I will ever know. I love him so deeply.
I just lost my 16 year old son only 26 days ago. I'm not sure how to do life without my precious baby boy. The pain is so heavy and debilitating. If it wasn't for my 2 remaining children, I would have taken my own life already.
Im so sorry. My cousin hung himself September 1 and were all in so much pain. My heart breaks for his parents. I dont know how were going to get through this.
I lost my mother to suicide in May of 2018, the day before Mother’s Day. She was genuinely my bestfriend, there wasn’t a thing in the world I felt like I couldn’t tell her. Two weeks before she took her own life, she climbed Machu Picchu, one of the 7 wonders of the world. It still blows my mind she did that, and I still struggle to understand how someone can go from literally being on top of the world, to underneath it so quickly. Her name was Jennifer Chamberlain and she was an amazing, loving mother. Carrying on with her death has not been easy, but I refuse to allow myself to become just another statistic. ❤️
See my above post. My sincere sympathy to you and your family. My daughter also climbed minchu pichu 9 years ago, traveled to Africa, ran marathons, had her Masters in nutrition, and had just passed her final exam June 19th. 2019. I saw her last on Christmas eve 2019, 3 months before her death., she was peaceful, sweet, open, honest about some feelings, but never told us how out of control her anger was, her depression, her sense of failure, thought her husband would be better without her and she had no purpose to go on with the pain. 32 years, the youngest of my 4 kids. This has changed who we are forever. God bless you.
It's two weeks that I also lost my mother to suicide. It has been a year that I'm student in abroad, and this sumemr I came to my hometown to see my family. I was really happy and I didn't know it was the last time that I would see my mother in the airport. Two weeks ago when I came to my mother's funeral I couldn't believe that she is not here anymore. Now, I feel pain, guilt and anger. I can't stop asking myself that was I a good daughter to her or not? And sometimes I find myself blaming her that how could she give me this huge pain?
Oh Sue. There are just no words that will help your heart. I'm so sorry. It's been almost 14 years since i lost my beautiful son So many questions about this whole world. It hurts so much. trying to find meaning. He sent us a letter/poem thru very mysterious circumstances 20 months after he passed, so i know he is still with us in some way we do not understand. Bless you. I wish I could hug you. God bless.
i understand. i lost my oldest brother, my hero, around the same time. im holding you up in my prayers. it doesn’t get ‘better’ it just gets easier to cope day to day
I lost my only sibling to suicide 3 months ago. He had such a horrible upbringing and I went to live with family overseas when our mum died. I left him alone. He battled mental health for years and my auntie, who he was staying with, said that he was crying non stop on some days and I just thought he was going through a phase. He sent me a goodbye message and I looked for him with police for 6 hours until we found his car and the cops said that they found him hanging from a tree. I don't know how I can go on. I was meant to catch up with him a week before he took his life but I bloody forgot to meet up with him. I hate myself so much. I don't think I can go on.
My boyfriend died by suicide …. We were in college. It was 39 years ago, and I still haven’t really ever talked about him. He was such a wonderful guy……
Last week I lost my friend Andy to suicide. He struggled with depression his whole life. He was brilliant and well-loved by his family and friends. In spite of promising his sister, brother, parents and friends that he would not commit suicide, he lost his battle eight days ago and took his own life at his parents' house. Very traumatic for all involved. Despite tons of counseling and reading and researching everything he could about depression and love and support from his family and friends, he was tortured with dark thoughts that he couldn't escape from. He was 49. Rest in peace Andy. 💙
We ask ourselves over and over , WHAT DID WE MISS ? " WHAT DIDN'T WE DO RIGHT? " all those little things that we feel could have saved them😢 We ask ourselves what were they thinking 😮 ? and for how long were they feeling sad and we just didn't see it or ask them enough questions. 😔😔😔
Maybe pay more attention, care more, asked and try to understand. Rather than just dismissing the kid. He might just still be here today. Coming from someone contemplating suicide
❤ I just lost my 1st born son on Labor Day. He was 23 yrs. old. He battle depression since his teenage yrs. He tried it 27 times and 27 times we (Mom, Dad, & youner brother) were there for him. He called us that night and we tried to reassure him that things would get better. We told him how much we loved him and he assured us he loved us more than what we thought he did. That comment did not settle well with me. I was not able to sleep that night.. He lived 5 hrs away in another town. And when I could get ahold of him the following day, I knew there was something wrong. We drove to find gone. I keep asking myself if we were able to save him 27 times WHY NOT ONE MORE.
Our couple’s therapist committed suicide 2 days after we last saw her. She just disappeared, and we found out 2 weeks after the fact - I came across a tribute page and reached out to the author. None of her clients had a way to say goodbye. I felt she was the only therapist that truly understood my traumatic childhood. We were very similar and had similar experiences, and now she’s just….gone.
I lost my husband to suicide in 2014 and I still haven't gotten over it. Some days are harder than others and there are still days that I still blame myself.
Plz listen and belive me plzzzz we all do that it’s part of grieving nothing is ever you you didn’t kill him. Stop cause my nephew just died he shot himself and the grief and pain I can’t explain but again it’s part of grief and the demons play with your head don’t let them beat you always remember god and the reason why. Maybe it was for you to be strong alone
@@Elonmuskateer I lost my husband this year on March 5th. I think I'm still in shock and deal with a lot of the physical pain which makes it hard to start working on the emotional pain. I have a therapist but I've learned more about grief from this one RUclips video than I have from her in weekly sessions since his death. I need to find a different therapist because I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere. I feel really stuck
@ChrisJohnson-lh9qb I'm sorry for your loss. Losing a spouse to suicide feels awful. I never knew how difficult life could be until this happened to me. My husband of 21 years at the age of only 49 took his life on March 5th of this year. It feels absolutely unbearable at times and lonesome. I started looking for resources online so I didn't feel like I have to go through this alone. It's helpful to be in touch with people that can relate to this kind of shock, pain and loss not only of your person but also of yourself.
I know your struggle unfortunately. I just lost my husband and best friend to suicide on March 5th. I know how hard it is to not blame yourself or others for their pain but I hope you can let that go because I know I have to too. It takes a lot of strength to carry on after something like this. You not only lose your partner in life but now also don't have them to lean on any more to help you get through tough times like this. It's so hard. I hope you are doing better because I need that hope that it will get better someday. It's a hard place to be as you know🫤
The police found my brother yesterday in a lonely motel room with a single gunshot wound to the head I am utterly shattered and I’m so grateful for this video. He had been struggling with mental health issues for many many years and he was just ready to go home
I lost my husband of 24 years 2 weeks ago. He suffered the majority of his life from Major Depressive Disorder. I miss him terribly 😭The pain comes in waves along with the guilt that I couldn't help him this time. I know in my head that there was nothing i could have done but my heart hasn't accepted this yet.
I re-read all this after 5 months. Now my husband is gone since 9 months. Still so painful. I hope it is getting a little better soon. It is exhausting, I know he had these suicidal ideas since his adolescence but I sometimes can't help the feeling of guilt. As my therapist is saying I have to do radical acceptance and think about how I can feel better. I hope all of us will get better 🙏
Heidi - I feel for you - the pain is awful and the feelings of guilt can be hard to bear. I know this because I suffer too. You're fortunate in knowing that there was nothing you could have done and I can assure that your heart will slowly learn to accept this and you will find peace. My best wishes to you.
The concept that death by suicide rather than age, accident, or illness has been on my mind since my son’s death two and a half years ago. When death comes from suicide it’s unrelateable, I get that. The invasion by way of insensitive questions and comments has been extremely hurtful. I’m done taking on these challenges. I’m walking away mentally and physically from other’s fear. My son died, bottom line. I grieve as any other. I’m not on a soap box. I have learned that the only way through the death of my son is like anyone else who grieves. There is no blame on me from me, and I refuse to be shamed by anyone else! Jeff, Forever 40 ❤ Mom
In the Netherlands they translate this bij self killing and that word hurts so much If you know the person ( our son of 23) as a social designer and a lovely person. I can say that because I am his mother who felt a soulmate as I never felt before. He was in a master year and had a relationship he felt unsure about. The strange thing for a lot of people but for me clear is that he wrote that he did not wanted to hurt somebody. I saw his eyes changing, going insite, talking leds and less. My love for him let me survive but it feels lonely. I wish more people in the Netherlands would be more open. I am very open since more than 8 year.
My dear, obviously something is giving you pain enough for you to feel this way. Since you love your family, open up to them. Tell them where you feel there is a lack and ask them to accept it. From there try to see and talk it out what are the things they can do to support you. Don’t keep it within you. your life is worth it. Just hang in there, take help, find alternatives and try to hold on to the thought that life is an experience - the good and the bad. See where it can take you. Best wishes.
My mother took her life last week. There was emotional abuse and neglect, she abandoned me all my life but she was my mother and I love her unconditionally. I struggle to see my future and wonder if I will even feel true happiness again.
My mom and I also fought a lot... But I still loved her. I was the one that found her hanging a month ago. She was supposed to go out with me that Saturday. She changed her mind and I didn't even question why she was acting so weird. I feel so guilty. I should have been a better kid.
I lost my mom to suicide just over a year ago. March 21st 2021. It was tragic. I was away in the mountains with friends with no phone signal but boy did i know it was happening. I felt it. On the night she did it I was wide awake praying for her soul and I just knew. Every cell in my body could feel her pain and I cried, I cried all night. When I got signal two days later, my brother in law called me with the news. I hope her soul is at peace now. I relate to everything said in this video.
❤️ my brother died by suicide 28 years ago, when I was a child. I still think about him every day, and about the man he would be today, and what he would think about who I am, someone 17 years older than he was when he ended his life. I regret that I never had the chance to know him as an equal due to the difference in our age.
The pain you’re all expressing resonates in me so fiercely. My eldest daughter took her own life on 22/10/23, and she was 26 years old. She’d been experiencing depression and anxiety for the past eight years. I don’t think my guilt and self loathing will ever go, as we had an argument the night she left the house. Two days later the police knocked on the door. Our whole world was devastated. I don’t think I can ever forgive myself. My heart aches for her daily.
I lost my fiancée to suicide on May 19th, 2022. I came home from work to find her in our bed. I have been in therapy since it happened. There is not a day that goes by where I do not miss her dearly. I will admit that I had some thoughts about following her due to the level of pain I was feeling. But I would never follow through as I do not want anyone else to go through the pain I am going through.
My 35 year old son, Larry died by hanging himself on 11/10/23. I am stuck on a loop on that day. All I can think of is joining him. He was my only child. Only another mother can begin to understand.
I am so sorry....i cant even imagine. I have one son and losing him is my biggest fear but losing him to suicide i cant even begin to think of it because the pains to intense. His auntie passed away (auto accident she got in on purpose) in nov.of last year. I give u so much respect and i send u so much love to you.....god bless u and help u thru this unimaginable time ur going thru
My sweet baby girl brought me here. She was so smart, witty and beautiful. She had goals and direction. She was going to graduate high school at least one year early and was trying to finish even two years early. But she was never pushed to do it by me or her mother. It was her own drive. She was hard on herself. If she didn't get a 100% on a test shed say she failed. She was her toughest critic. My baby girl was 15 years, 9 months and 20 days old. I just miss my sweet baby girl so so much. I took for granted that she'd just be here my whole life, and I just feel so empty. Thank you so much for making this video for us. I don't know if it will actually help, but thank you for trying
I lost my husband by suicide 9 years ago.. I went thru something I never went thru before. I really didn't think I'd make it. I did.. Barely. Not I've lost my sister by suicide, my best friend by a brain aneurism and it was sudden. Then my second husband by murder and recently my mother by natural causes followed by my grandmother 41 days later. I'm grieving and some days I feel like I'm grieving for them all.
You're catching a lot of grief all at once. I'm so sorry you are in that pain. Please know you are not alone and you don't have to be alone. Go to all the groups and therapists and everything you can find. Nothing changes until we change something. And I hope you find a lighter heart through whatever means possible. ❤️❤️
God bless you . 🙏 I relate all too much with you and all you are surviving- enduring and overcoming ! May you be blessed and comforted from my heart to yours -
Guilt was the most traumatizing part of the grieving. I sat for months after each person passed on and tried to see if I missed any signs. The guilt definitely invoked nightmares whereby I couldn't save my cousin. Thankfully my mom seen the signs of depression I was displaying, she made me speak about what I felt and I spoke to a counselor at my university. It helped because I was able to let go of the fact that none of us were able to answer the questions we all had.
Just lost my baby 14 yr old son to suicide on Oct 4th. I found him hanging from his loft bed after a small argument about him sneaking on his phone I didn't even think he could unlock or find. An argument we've had multiple times over multiple things the past few years at varying degrees amd arguments or issues that had been much worse were worked through and we always were okay. He had cut his arms once but he swore he wasn't suicidal. He said it was just out of anger and to show us how much he cared about his girlfriend. He swore he would never commit suicide because he knew how impactful and traumatic and painful it would be for me and our whole family (he has 3 younger brothers) the argument was short I finally just said go to your room and calm down please take some accountability for your lying and actions for once please stop yelling excuses and tale a break ill be down in a minute when I calm down. About 20 minutes later after a few texts with my husband and trying on a new costume I thought I might wear for halloween.. I felt bad like I always did. It was homecoming Friday and his first since starting highschool. I was gonna give him a hug and tell him he could go to the dance if he just stopped lying to me please.. and he was hanging by one of his neck ties from his loft bed on his knees. It didn't feel real at first I told him to stop faking I shook him quickly realized I needed to cut him down ran up stairs got scissors cut him down called 911 and he flopped down on his back. I started chest compressions until EMS arrived. All my kids were home and up stairs but thankfully for some reason and through all the commotion none of them came down during this. Ems got a pulse he was life flighted to a children's hospital and stayed on life support until the morning of the 5th day when his body couldn't hold on anymore because of his complete brain death/lack of oxygen. It still doesn't feel real. I function I take care of my sons. We had a beautiful service. My husband has returned to work all of my family has flown back home accross the country and I just... I journal.. I take my medicine. I cry a couple times a day. When I actually feel the reality in brief moments. I want to hug his urn. But most of the time even though I was with him as his ventilator was removed he took his last breath his heart stopped all of these things... I'm still waiting for him to come home.
Lost my husband 5 months ago. These videos and this community help me to feel less alone and validate my feelings so thank you and sending love to everyone ❤
My wife of 30 years committed suicide 6 months ago. She left behind our beautiful talented daughter and a 6 year old beautiful grandson who loved her . I'm not sure I will survive this. The pain and loneliness is unbearable. I have struggled with her mental illness over the past 3 years but I never could imagine she would kill herself.
I am so so so so sorry. I just lost my best friend of many years, who just the last year became my partener to suicide a few days ago. I’m crushed for you. Stay strong for yall’s baby. I believe in you. Sending so much love to you.
I lost my husband 3days after Christmas 2022. Finding him is a traumatic experience that I can’t get over. I mad at him, however I miss him so much. ❤❤
@@integerconsulting9344 I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?….,
I’ve never thought I’d end on this side of RUclips..commenting on suicide video because I feel so helpless in the loss of the mother of my 3 yr old daughter via suicide 2 days ago . I’ am broken! I cannnot find the strength everyone tells me to have. Please please please check up on ur loved ones going thru a hard time in life BEFORE YOURE TOOO LATE…loneliness is detrimental to the human spirit..god bless alll. may god bless and have mercy on your soul babygirl I love you Lali
Thank you for this video , I lost my husband of 33 years to suicide in 2015 , I found him 💔and 9 years on im am still struggling , my heart goes out to all of you here ❤️💐
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?….,.
I watched my person commit suicide after a argument with her brother. I was so close to her that day but I couldn’t stop it. She suffered from BPD and depression. I watched her body go lifeless and held her for the last time. Ever since that day Feb 27th 2023 2:30pm… I’ve been in this autopilot I can’t get out of. My person is gone.. I’ll never see their smile again. I’ll never hug and kiss her again. She will never have known what could have been. She was so… tired and struggling for so long. I thought we had more time. I thought we had all the time in the world. And now my heart will never forgive me
I lost my 29year old son Callum on June 28th 2023. He left behind a 3 year old daughter and a 1 year old son . The grief is horrendous and some days I feel like I won't make it through. Our hearts are truly shattered
My 27 year old beautiful daughter named Karis took her life 12/23/2023. I found her and cannot or will not ever forget that image. Thank you for this video and the comments on here as well. I am in the deepest pain imaginable. I saw the signs and we were addressing them. She suffered from depression and turned to a deadly drug that made her psychotic. She was scheduled for rehab but not until the day after Christmas. She just could not live in her pain anymore. I am broken and know I will never be the same. I miss and love her until we meet again in heaven my sweet angel.......
I am so so sorry. I understand completely your pain and feel the same emotions. My daughter, age 46 took her life on 12/19/2023. I, like you, found her. I will never be the same but I have her 15 year old daughter to shepherd through life so I can't give up.
💜 My husband of 23½ years took his life this past Sunday with no sign that anything was wrong. It was the early morning after my birthday (Saturday). He was a military veteran with PTSD and related depression, but he had been participating in a veterans program for therapy. He seemed to be doing good. The kids and I had no clue. Thank you for sharing this video 💔
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?..
my father and 3 siblings took their lives from 1981 to 1995, I now work in suicide prevention and postvention as a social worker. Their deaths made me more determined to advocate on behalf of people who feel suicide will end their pain.
Just lost my ex after a huge fight between us. I will never stop regretting that stupid fight. Never. Nothing was more precious than his soul and his life.
This past Friday morning, a friend of mine I've known for 7 years took his own life. He had been suffering for a very long time and tried to alienate and push away everyone he ever knew, everyone who ever cared about him. He tried to make all of us hate him but all it did was make us want to help more. I'm glad he's finally done fighting but it still hurts to know that he's gone. He didn't leave a note, he never told anyone of us why, he never told anyone of us how he was feeling, how he was crumbling to pieces...I just wish we could've done something. He took his own life in a car I sold him that I had some of my most treasured memories in...this car is being returned to me and it fucks me up even more to know that I have to drive it now because I just got into a car accident that totaled my car...I need it but I just don't want to look at it. It has a name "Solace" which I guess...it certainly was for him in the end. He loved that car as much as I did and it seems like it loved him back enough to be those open arms and that comfort he needed in the end to finally...stop fighting. I don't know how to feel or what to do. The only other thing for some reason I feel is rage that nobody in this situation can be allowed time to grieve amidst all the police bullshit, this legal bullshit, the funeral arrangements and the liquidation of the possessions of that lovedone...why does this have to be the first step after someone dies? Even if they took their own life? It's monstrous and I know this is just the stage of anger in the scale of grief but...knowing that doesn't do anything but make me angrier because I, just like he is...am now a statistic. The pain is just so wrong..he failed in his mission to push us all away...we are all broken. I miss you Nick, we all miss you Nick. Nick Dodge 1993-2023
similar situation as you.. my friend pushed everyone away over past 2 years. we almost made up. if they waited 2 days we could have talked. i wanted to be there so bad. i wish love could save alone. 1996-2023 Ily soso 🩷
I lost my son 3 weeks ago. He struggled with addiction and had moved home right before Christmas to try and create a better life for himself. I was right in the next room and was the one who found him. In his suicide note he said he was tired of being pulled between two worlds and feeling like a burden. The grief is overwhelming and the constant arguing with myself inside my head is exhausting . Yours is the first video I've watched that I was able to relate to at all. Thank you so much ❤
i just lost a dear friend to suicide this past weekend. no one saw it coming, and it is hard to imagine that it is real. it's so heartbreaking, he seemed so happy and excited for the future. it just doesn't make sense, and it's hard to cope with the loss.
I lost my mom in July 2023. I live with so much regret. I hope she's found peace and healing and that she's resting ❤. I love you mama and I'm so sorry
My dad took his life last November when he was 57 and I was 18... I don't know how I managed to pass the final year of school with this pain on my back. I miss him everyday and I hope to see him again somewhere. Thank you for your video.
@@neaprado3592 I'm so sorry for your loss... and I know what you are going through. I feel so empty almost everyday even thought I see a therapist weekly and I start crying when I think about my happy childhood memories with my dad. Now I've understood that suicide is another kind of grief and unfortunately some people don't understand how I feel. However I can't give up, I promised him and I want him to be proud of me. I apologize for some mistakes, English is my third language and I'm still learning it. I wish you the best💜
My wife ended her life 2 days ago. I had known for a long time that this was a possibility but nothing can really prepare you for it. Now I keep thinking of things I want to say to her and then immediately realize I can't and the pain hits me so hard. Part of me wants the pain to end, but another part of me wants to hang on to it because it feels like that would be a betrayal of her memory.
My sweet husband completed suicide on June 12, 2022. I fear my future is gone and if I hear one more person say, "you still have a future, it's just not going to look like you thought it was going to look," I might lose it. Everything that you said, is spot on.
Hello Pamela, I lost my wife to suicide 6 months ago and I know how you feel about the future. I just wanted you to know I feel the same. Your loss of 6 days is so raw I remember little bits of how I felt at that time. After 10 days I went to a support group and let everything out. I don't know if a support group is your thing. The guys who run my group speak from experience n to me that to me makes a big difference. Talking does help Pamela, take little steps too. I think RUclips notify you if you get a response to what you post so I'll keep an eye open if you decide to respond. Ok
@@billhowzat7962 I'm sorry to hear about your wife. Thank you for the advise. I started seeing a counselor the week it happened and have been looking into a support group. I fully agree that speaking with people who have been in my shoes can only help. Prayers for you and yours.
@Pamela Woodard I'm glad you have a counselor, mine is very good. She speaks from experience too. Sorry you have lost your husband Pamela. Take little steps and keep talking, (it's so underestimated). I live in the UK and I've used my counselor, MINT support group, Andy's Man Club n have been to a support group for people like ourselves. I've just told them all how I feel but that's me. I'll keep monitoring RUclips, no pressure. X
I just lost my dad last week and within all this pain and heartbreak the hardest bit, for me, is knowing how distraught my mum is, how much guilt and dispair she feels. She loved him so much and she did everything she could do to help him be happy. I hope you will find happiness and peace in your life one day, just as I hope my lovely mother does.
My wife and I lost our only son to suicide. He was living with us in our apartment and shot himself thru the head while my wife and I were home. I worked for many years at a hospital and have seen a lot of death but nothing can prepare you for this kind of trauma. This happened a little over a year ago and we still have tough days.
Joel; your story is our story. My wife and I lost our only son, who was only 13 years old, in the exact same manner and with my wife and I in the same room. This happened five weeks ago and I'm still in the same shock and disbelief as I was the moment I heard the shot go off and the glass door of our shower enclosure explode. He was an honor student and a star athlete, had a bunch of friends and a girlfriend, and was loved by everyone. He grew up in a very loving home and had the love and support of both his parents and his older sister, and had everything he needed and wanted. What we didn't know at the time and have since found out, is that he started vaping and developed an addiction and couldn't stop. We think he started vaping and smoking weed on occasion, back in February. We are almost positive that he obtained his own vape towards the end of March and was vaping frequently every day from that point up to this happening, which was only one month. We suspect that his mental health took a nose dive in that one month period and the effects of the vaping on his young brain caused severe depression and was ultimately the reason why this happened. We're completely devastated and don't even know where to begin, adjusting to this. I loved my son so much and was so proud of him, and he was my pride and joy. I spent so much time with him and put so much of myself into being his dad. We had a great relationship and I was the father to him that I wish I would've had. He took such a huge piece of my heart with him, I don't think there's enough left to keep living. I'm trying to be strong because I know I need to, for my wife and our daughter. But this has destroyed me. I was an abused child and I've been to war. I can tell you there's nothing in life that could ever prepare someone for this level of pain and grief. I hope you're making it along, but we are really having a hard time, probably me especially.
Sorry for your loss. My son took his life the same way, about seven months ago. There aren't really any good days. There are ok days and bad days, but the pain gets a little less intense.
In 2016 I met this girl, she came into the store I was working in and I happened to serve her. Instantly, we had a spark in those few minutes and when I got off my shift I was amazed to see that she had friended me on facebook. She took my name from my tag. We chatted for weeks, met up a couple of times and we just clicked. I thought she was far too beautiful for me, and how lucky I was that she had noticed me... that just doesn't happen to guys like me. Sadly though, her mother passed and we sort of lost touch because she needed that space. I then got back together with an ex, and she moved away. I have thought about her every year since then, but my texts weren't sending and I couldn't find a trace of her online. I finally found out last night that she took her own life 4 years ago in 2020. I'am beyond devastated and I almost like I don't have the right to be....
Did you ever find out about your sweet girl what really happened? My brother died by suicide 2 weeks ago but two hours before he was talking to. My parents sounded completely normal and was saying he had to get up for work the next day. I just keep thinking somebody did something to him.😭😭
@slopez1901 We never will know for sure how she died. I'm sorry for your tragic loss of your brother. I had three kids, my twin boys are only 13 months older than their sister who passed. The three were good friends and siblings so I don't know how it feels to lose a sibling, but my son's have so much grief also for their sister, I know its so much. Wishing you the most healing you can have, but we will never not feel a huge loss 😢
💔My 32 yr old son hung himself on 4th September 2024. He was upbeat, successful, beautiful & well loved. He was the son who seemed to have everything he needed & was happy… He had a wife, 3 children, parents, siblings, extended family & friends. We were all so proud of him. He bought land & planted over 7 thousand trees & an orchard…I still cannot believe he has done this… He knew we would be heartbroken!
My boyfriend of 18 years killed himself on 09- 14- 22. He had Parkinsons and was put on a medication that made him very anxious and severely depressed. He was started on Zoloft but saw no hope for his condition of depression to improve. He was a professor for 33 years. He hadn't to take a semester off. His Parkinsons symptom was only slight trembling in one hand.He was already on a medication that was working but Dr. added that one that destroyed him.I am devastated.
I lost my dear brother to suicide, only a few months ago. He was my friend, my best friend. Even when far away from each other, I still felt him beside me. He was in the US Marine Core, we had a special funeral for him, but I just felt so lonely, so lost, like I can't ever live normal or happy again. Its given me horrible depression, beyond thought, that I don't feel like I can handle life anymore. I was just a normal teenag girl, that got scarred for life.
This is grief on a whole different level. My love took her own life days ago after appearing so happy. I feel like I missed signs that wouldve indicated trouble. I'm torn
I lost my boyfriend Oscar Jurrist on July 3 2024, i think about him everyday and night but I replay that night and early morning everyday over and over again because i wasn't able to say anything in the moment to keep him here. I always fell silent whenever we had a disagreement or argument, all my baby needed was words of reassurance and i wasn't able to do that for him. Wrestling with him for the gun wasn't enough to show him i wanted him to stay. Now i have to pay with missing him everyday and every night until i die and able to be with him again
We lost my husband's son Adam to suicide last week. My husband found him. He will never un see that image. We loved Adam so much and tried to help in any way that we could. His birthday is June 5th and he would of been 42 years old. He had mental illness and was on a decline the last few years. We miss him so much. We know he can finally rest and be free from his demons. It's so difficult. We had so many more times we wanted to say we loved him no matter what. We are trying to process and to remember happier times.
I lost the love of my life when he had was in his first week of medication. I was so happy that he was finally taking the steps to get better. I only later found out that sometimes medication for depression can make suicidal thoughts worse in the first few weeks. I wish I had known. I’m devastated. I thought everything was getting better. We had our whole future planned
It’s almost been 3 years (November 8th 2019) since my older brother died from suicide. He was about to turn 21 and I was 15 years old… Hes my bestfriend. I love him so much. I think about it every day and it’s hard because it’s such an insensitive topic to talk about and unfortunately I will never understand. It’s been the hardest years of my life and now I’m just trying to find my answers through god. 💜
My mom hanged herself 5 months ago on one of her favourite scarves. My dad found her and I haven't seen her. Some days are better. Some days are filled with pain. It still feels unfair...
I lost my son Jason by suicide from gunshot to the head 9 years ago it hurts so deeply but I try to honor him by living my best life but sometimes it very hard 💙🙏
My brother and I are 16 and 20. Our mom killed herself a month ago. I fought with her so much. I regret every second, every fight over a silly little thing. I shouldn't have left her alone that day. I miss her so much. I want my mommy back.
Awww I am so sorry my dear am sure your mom knows you didn't mean to have those fights n she loved you n your sibling unconditionally ❤❤❤❤may God comfort you both n don't feel guilty okay please
I like your videos. I found my husband Aug 1st, 3-4 mos ago. There are no more words, everything has been said. I feel all the emotions you mention and I struggle every single day. I listen to you over again and it's kind words for me
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?….
Is it strange to feel protective of my brother after he took his life? I don’t want him remembered for that one final act? I somehow think that it is a very private death. I had no idea he was thinking of suicide so since I found him I feel it should be kept private except for those closest to me. Who knows how he would have wanted me to handle it.
I just lost my father 8/21/23 to suicide. He was 62 and my best friend. I can’t tell you how abandoned I feel. I was the last person he text and did a wellness check but it was too late. I love you dad and miss you every day❤
My youngest daughter took her life March 25th 2020 after going into a suicide site, ordering sodium nitrite from Amazon, 3 months prior to her death at the home she shared with her husband. I'm stuck, I'm seeing a therapist for 2 years and I just dont want to accept shes gone. She has 3 older siblings, and we are all trying our best. She left 7 notes to her husband, we found out she had been struggling for over a year prior, neither of them let us know.
Tricia , you seem to be a wonderful lady, a beautiful soul, and a wonderful mother, continue to be there for your grandkids and I believe in you and I know you can get through this (all of you) love u 😍
Both of my parents committed suicide. My Dad last year. I feel so much guilt, I found him and I loved my Dad more than anything . May 23rd will be a year. I cry everyday.
My twin sister killed heralded. I wrote a book to help survivors of not just suicide but narcissistic abuse . So tragic. Even today I grieve deeply for the injustice. ❤
My daughter’s best friend took his life 35 days ago. He was 23, and was about to graduate from college. The grief and heartache is unbelievable. Worse than anything I’ve experienced, except for the loss of my mom. Feeling the heartache of his parents and is heart wrenching. As well as worrying about my daughter. There is no way to make sense of this. 💔🙏 My heart breaks for all of those who have lost family members, and to those who think this is the only way for life to get better.
My boyfriend killed himself almost 4 years ago. I forgive him now, but I was very sad for a long time. Mostly because I’ll never know why he did it. I also blame myself for not recognizing the warning signs. I miss him every single day.
❤ My uncle suddenly went blind in his 40s and the having to rely entirely on others to even find the bathroom impacted him deeply. He never told anyone he was struggling with adjusting, always smiling around family. My aunt was devastated to find him after work. Their daughter,my cousin was in college at the time.
My Twin Sister just jumped from a 5 story building. She has struggled with her mental Health for years and I have always lived in fear for her. She is currently in intensive care 😢 I’m broken I couldn’t save her 😢
❤ my closest friend at college. It’s been two months and these last two weeks have been the hardest so far. Dealing with my own intrusive thoughts at this point and a consuming depression. I miss her. I miss my own mental health being in tact. I miss a time before it was affirmed to me that I can and will lose people.
I lost my boyfriend through suicide. I found him and it was painful to see him that way. I miss him alot and I loved him with all my heart. This video has helped me understand a bit of what am goin through. Thank u.
My Uncle Steve whom I love very much just took his own life. I'm going through this pain now, all the emotions. I'm glad I found your video. You have a very peaceful voice. I love you Steve forever....thank you for your kindness to me in my life, I miss you 💙💙😭
It’s just mind boggling to see how many die by this tragedy. I lost my son one year ago, he felt stuck and overwhelmed working in Ca. Corrections toxic environment. He thought he would be a peace officer. Yes all these feelings are big, from shock, processing ,numbness, guilt, and anger its cycles continues a year later, it’s becoming more real. I miss my bear!!!!
Suicide Grief can be so distinctive and isolating. Let's break the stigma! Share your comments of how your Grief from a Suicide loss was unique. 🙏💔. If you want to learn about joining my private online membership called The Grievolution Collective you can find information here. www.jomcrogers.com/grievolution-collective.html
My Dad shot his self through the heart in May of this year, I found him this is the second parent for me. One at 13 one now at 47. The struggle is real, the guilt is huge and the days are long. I’m going to be ok and so are you.
I lost two friends this way, and friends of mine have lost children. It definitely felt different than my many other losses, especially the most recent loss of a friend. I felt guilt at not having been in touch for about a year, and not even knowing they were struggling. It seemed impossible that it happened. I kept visualizing multiple ways it could have happened which was making me more frantic. I then did the faux pas of asking her Dad if he would be willing or comfortable to tell me how it happened because I felt at the time that knowing would at least narrow down the many horrific scenarios in my head. But of course, once I knew (only the most basic info) that is what I visualized over and over (I am a visual and highly sensitive person). My sessions with you Jo, helped a lot to validate what I was feeling as well as my need to take care of myself. Reading about someone's experience of losing a loved one to suicide in their published book, was actually NOT helpful as their coping mechanisms also triggered me into feeling like I wasn't being strong enough. I did a few things that helped me to connect with my friend - wrote a letter "to" her, for instance - in a symbolic way to help deal with the guilt. Thanks for bringing up this topic. I really appreciate your insights into the differences between grief for this kind of loss and other kinds of grief.
Thank you Laura...those are deep losses and that brings about deep feelings and thoughts. Glad I was able to support you to find ways and means to process. 💞
I was taken from the scene by ambulance. Major panic attack. The cop was asking questions and I just remembering asking is he dead over and over. It was very obvious he was. It was horrible. I remember the police coming to the hospital to ask me if he was left or right handed. I was in such shock I actually wasn’t sure at that moment. I knew. He was my best friend of 32 years. I will never forget that. I will never understand why they came to the hospital. A friend had arrived before I was gone. This was just a thought I had a few years later. Didn’t think much about it at the time.
I lost my son, he was an alcoholic, he started drinking heavily in college. He tried to commit suicide by drinking heavily in a motel room. He had second thoughts & called grandma but by the time he was found he was resuscitated. He was on life support for a short time, he had brain damage. It's devastating, my son had so much going for him, he was only 33 years old.
My mother was 37 I was 11 - my father in 2019 at 80 yo, I was 55. I was his sounding board & caretaker from a distance. I mistakenly thought because of his age and fear of failing to do so - we, he was safe. I was wrong. It happened at home in both cases. He left a audio message and all his files medical and written from the last 40 years. His “note” was transcribed by me. So his messages contained within could be given to those he wished. The day NY shut down due to pandemic was the day I received all his personal effects. I’ve yet beyond the audio transcription have been able to go through his things. He wanted me to tell his stories. To help researchers have information so he could be “of greater use after life than he was in it”.
I’ve lost 3 people to suicide. One was my coworker I worked side by side with. This happened just 8 days ago. She left behind 3 grown daughters and 8 grandchildren, one of which is only 7 months old. Her 12 yr old grandson whom she raised found her. She’s the reason I’m here trying to cope once again.
My son Adam just died by suicide. He jumped in front of train on my birthday. I’m completely broken...I loved him so much...it’s heart wrenching.
Jules... sending so much ❤️. Yours is a massive traumatic loss. 💔
I’m so so sorry. My broken heart aches for yours. 💔
I too lost a son to suicide, I’m so so sorry for your loss. Hug.
My condolences 💚 🌹
My heart hurts for you, our childs suicide changes who we are from the very minute we find out, or hear those words. I thought all was right with the world March 24th, 2020, even with just the start of covid here in NJ. Then at 845am my 2 older daughters knocked on my door and I can remember every detail on their faces, the words that went into one ear and went out the other because my brain couldn't even recognize my daughters name. I was confused, seriously confused and yelled at my girls they were lying, but I didnt know why they would say such a thing to me. If only her husband had filled us in that she attempted 8 months prior, but didn't need medical attention, then they went climbing I stead of seeking help or telling her family. This gave her time to order a life ending substance from Amazon 3 mo ths before, wait for her brother to come back from France, went on a job interview, got the job and supposed to start may 2020, but she called me the day before and was worried she wouldn't get the job because of covid just starting ....she left 7 notes written over months to her husband. We finally have all her belongings and her husband put his house on the market a few months ago and moved out.
"If love was enough to stop suicide, suicides would very rarely happen.But love isn't enough and suicides are prevalent." So very true. I've lost two brothers to suicide. Love, unfortunately, wasn't enough to save them.
@@jellyfishi_ or the right type of love? Some people torment their families & just expect them to take it.
How can you ever find acceptance or peace any suggestion
Plz don’t listen to the dumb bitch who said you maybe didn’t give him enough fuck themmmmm they have no clue fuck them. I pray for you mh love.
I’m so sorry I’m so sorry dude I know how it feels man no one knows but loved ones who felt it.
Suicides happen when you're in that state of mind to end your life, whatever brought you to that point. You could have a lot of people who love you but if you've been shown that you are also very unloved by other people it can still bring you to that point. And then accuracy and successful suicides just really depend on who's around them when they're in that very moment. Most of the time they aren't thinking or caring about anything else they just want to end their life right then and there, and they won't be reaching out to anyone. So if they're alone and have access to methods then it's most likely they will succeed.
I lost my older sister to suicide in 73, lost my mom to suicide four years after my sister. Lost both my sister's kids to suicide. The pain never goes away.
I have absolutely no words. Just sending love and positivity your way.
My goodness 💔💔💔💔
Oh mio Diooooo, una tragedia infinita.... mi dispiace tanto x le sue perdite e il vostro immenso dolore.. le sono vicina con un' abbraccio...🙏🏻💔💔💔💔😭😭
I am so sorry ....praying that God will help you cherish them without the horror that resides with the memories.
Oh God im so sorry for all those losses. Its inconceivable that anyone could do this to themselves and thier families. Where does it end? I only find my solice in my Jesus and nobody else. That's all I know. We will never be the same again. No! But we can try to keep alive for those we love.
@kellygirljc
My brother died by suicide 4 months ago. I feel different from the rest of the world now. Separate. Like no one can understand how much this changed my family and who we are. I miss my brother. I miss my brother.
I'm so sorry. ❤️
I feel it too I feel so different I miss my brother
sorry for your loss. my daughter was 14 i dont know how to live now
@@xiomaraaraomiox5038 I’m so very sorry! I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you! You are not alone!
@@slayyedits2953 thank you. i hope one day we only smile when we think of them
I lost my baby brother 6 days ago
We are heartbroken 💔
His name was Travis Patterson and he was the kindest, smartest and strongest man I will ever know. I love him so deeply.
Me too I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. It’s hurts.
❤
I am so very sorry for you... I pray your heart to heal quickly.
❤
My condolences to you and family may his soul rest in perfect peace ❤❤
Lost my brother 3 weeks ago to suicide so I know the pain sis😭💔
I just lost my 16 year old son only 26 days ago. I'm not sure how to do life without my precious baby boy. The pain is so heavy and debilitating. If it wasn't for my 2 remaining children, I would have taken my own life already.
I'm so sorry for your loss
Stay strong. I am so sorry to hear this, hugs.
Im so sorry. My cousin hung himself September 1 and were all in so much pain. My heart breaks for his parents. I dont know how were going to get through this.
My condolences to you on the loss of your dear son
I'm 4 months in. I lost my daughter in June. The pain is so severe...
I lost my mother to suicide in May of 2018, the day before Mother’s Day. She was genuinely my bestfriend, there wasn’t a thing in the world I felt like I couldn’t tell her. Two weeks before she took her own life, she climbed Machu Picchu, one of the 7 wonders of the world. It still blows my mind she did that, and I still struggle to understand how someone can go from literally being on top of the world, to underneath it so quickly. Her name was Jennifer Chamberlain and she was an amazing, loving mother. Carrying on with her death has not been easy, but I refuse to allow myself to become just another statistic. ❤️
I'm really very sorry.
I just prayed for you Taylor. Hang in there.
Thank you for sharing I’m so sorry to hear that I know what you’re going through
See my above post. My sincere sympathy to you and your family. My daughter also climbed minchu pichu 9 years ago, traveled to Africa, ran marathons, had her Masters in nutrition, and had just passed her final exam June 19th. 2019. I saw her last on Christmas eve 2019, 3 months before her death., she was peaceful, sweet, open, honest about some feelings, but never told us how out of control her anger was, her depression, her sense of failure, thought her husband would be better without her and she had no purpose to go on with the pain. 32 years, the youngest of my 4 kids. This has changed who we are forever. God bless you.
It's two weeks that I also lost my mother to suicide.
It has been a year that I'm student in abroad, and this sumemr I came to my hometown to see my family. I was really happy and I didn't know it was the last time that I would see my mother in the airport.
Two weeks ago when I came to my mother's funeral I couldn't believe that she is not here anymore.
Now, I feel pain, guilt and anger. I can't stop asking myself that was I a good daughter to her or not?
And sometimes I find myself blaming her that how could she give me this huge pain?
My son took his own life a month ago. He tried three times before. He was handsome, witty , clever . I miss him so much
Oh Sue. There are just no words that will help your heart. I'm so sorry. It's been almost 14 years since i lost my beautiful son So many questions about this whole world. It hurts so much. trying to find meaning. He sent us a letter/poem thru very mysterious circumstances 20 months after he passed, so i know he is still with us in some way we do not understand. Bless you. I wish I could hug you. God bless.
My condolences ❤❤
i understand. i lost my oldest brother, my hero, around the same time. im holding you up in my prayers. it doesn’t get ‘better’ it just gets easier to cope day to day
I lost my only sibling to suicide 3 months ago. He had such a horrible upbringing and I went to live with family overseas when our mum died. I left him alone. He battled mental health for years and my auntie, who he was staying with, said that he was crying non stop on some days and I just thought he was going through a phase. He sent me a goodbye message and I looked for him with police for 6 hours until we found his car and the cops said that they found him hanging from a tree. I don't know how I can go on. I was meant to catch up with him a week before he took his life but I bloody forgot to meet up with him. I hate myself so much. I don't think I can go on.
My boyfriend died by suicide …. We were in college. It was 39 years ago, and I still haven’t really ever talked about him. He was such a wonderful guy……
Last week I lost my friend Andy to suicide. He struggled with depression his whole life. He was brilliant and well-loved by his family and friends. In spite of promising his sister, brother, parents and friends that he would not commit suicide, he lost his battle eight days ago and took his own life at his parents' house. Very traumatic for all involved. Despite tons of counseling and reading and researching everything he could about depression and love and support from his family and friends, he was tortured with dark thoughts that he couldn't escape from. He was 49. Rest in peace Andy. 💙
My only child, my son died by suicide when he was just 23 years old...I died that day also and Ive been dying every day since....
We ask ourselves over and over , WHAT DID WE MISS ? " WHAT DIDN'T WE DO RIGHT? " all those little things that we feel could have saved them😢 We ask ourselves what were they thinking 😮 ? and for how long were they feeling sad and we just didn't see it or ask them enough questions. 😔😔😔
Maybe pay more attention, care more, asked and try to understand. Rather than just dismissing the kid. He might just still be here today.
Coming from someone contemplating suicide
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I also lost my son when he was 23. The pain never goes away, but it does become less intense. Joining a group like Survivors of Suicide might help.
❤ I just lost my 1st born son on Labor Day. He was 23 yrs. old. He battle depression since his teenage yrs. He tried it 27 times and 27 times we (Mom, Dad, & youner brother) were there for him. He called us that night and we tried to reassure him that things would get better. We told him how much we loved him and he assured us he loved us more than what we thought he did. That comment did not settle well with me. I was not able to sleep that night.. He lived 5 hrs away in another town. And when I could get ahold of him the following day, I knew there was something wrong. We drove to find gone. I keep asking myself if we were able to save him 27 times WHY NOT ONE MORE.
Diana, 67, died by hanging 1st November 2023. My friend. R.I.P. 🕯🌹
Our couple’s therapist committed suicide 2 days after we last saw her. She just disappeared, and we found out 2 weeks after the fact - I came across a tribute page and reached out to the author. None of her clients had a way to say goodbye. I felt she was the only therapist that truly understood my traumatic childhood. We were very similar and had similar experiences, and now she’s just….gone.
I lost my husband to suicide in 2014 and I still haven't gotten over it. Some days are harder than others and there are still days that I still blame myself.
Plz listen and belive me plzzzz we all do that it’s part of grieving nothing is ever you you didn’t kill him. Stop cause my nephew just died he shot himself and the grief and pain I can’t explain but again it’s part of grief and the demons play with your head don’t let them beat you always remember god and the reason why. Maybe it was for you to be strong alone
You can never blame yourself, ever! This was him - NOT you!
@@Elonmuskateer
I lost my husband this year on March 5th. I think I'm still in shock and deal with a lot of the physical pain which makes it hard to start working on the emotional pain. I have a therapist but I've learned more about grief from this one RUclips video than I have from her in weekly sessions since his death. I need to find a different therapist because I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere. I feel really stuck
@ChrisJohnson-lh9qb
I'm sorry for your loss. Losing a spouse to suicide feels awful. I never knew how difficult life could be until this happened to me. My husband of 21 years at the age of only 49 took his life on March 5th of this year. It feels absolutely unbearable at times and lonesome. I started looking for resources online so I didn't feel like I have to go through this alone. It's helpful to be in touch with people that can relate to this kind of shock, pain and loss not only of your person but also of yourself.
I know your struggle unfortunately. I just lost my husband and best friend to suicide on March 5th. I know how hard it is to not blame yourself or others for their pain but I hope you can let that go because I know I have to too. It takes a lot of strength to carry on after something like this. You not only lose your partner in life but now also don't have them to lean on any more to help you get through tough times like this. It's so hard. I hope you are doing better because I need that hope that it will get better someday. It's a hard place to be as you know🫤
The police found my brother yesterday in a lonely motel room with a single gunshot wound to the head I am utterly shattered and I’m so grateful for this video. He had been struggling with mental health issues for many many years and he was just ready to go home
I’m so sorry.
I’m so sorry on the loss of your brother ❤️
Lonely motel... I can relate 😢
That’s how my brother died 2 weeks ago😭😭😭
I lost my husband of 24 years 2 weeks ago. He suffered the majority of his life from Major Depressive Disorder. I miss him terribly 😭The pain comes in waves along with the guilt that I couldn't help him this time. I know in my head that there was nothing i could have done but my heart hasn't accepted this yet.
I re-read all this after 5 months. Now my husband is gone since 9 months. Still so painful. I hope it is getting a little better soon. It is exhausting, I know he had these suicidal ideas since his adolescence but I sometimes can't help the feeling of guilt. As my therapist is saying I have to do radical acceptance and think about how I can feel better. I hope all of us will get better 🙏
Heidi - I feel for you - the pain is awful and the feelings of guilt can be hard to bear. I know this because I suffer too. You're fortunate in knowing that there was nothing you could have done and I can assure that your heart will slowly learn to accept this and you will find peace. My best wishes to you.
Awww so sorry for your loss ❤
The concept that death by suicide rather than age, accident, or illness has been on my mind since my son’s death two and a half years ago.
When death comes from suicide it’s unrelateable, I get that.
The invasion by way of insensitive questions and comments has been extremely hurtful. I’m done taking on these challenges. I’m walking away mentally and physically from other’s fear.
My son died, bottom line. I grieve as any other.
I’m not on a soap box. I have learned that the only way through the death of my son is like anyone else who grieves.
There is no blame on me from me, and I refuse to be shamed by anyone else!
Jeff,
Forever 40
❤
Mom
❤
In the Netherlands they translate this bij self killing and that word hurts so much If you know the person ( our son of 23) as a social designer and a lovely person. I can say that because I am his mother who felt a soulmate as I never felt before. He was in a master year and had a relationship he felt unsure about. The strange thing for a lot of people but for me clear is that he wrote that he did not wanted to hurt somebody. I saw his eyes changing, going insite, talking leds and less. My love for him let me survive but it feels lonely. I wish more people in the Netherlands would be more open. I am very open since more than 8 year.
I lost my 15yr old son to suicide in 2021. Everything in life has become trivial. Everything!
U got this adam, your son loves you talk to him pay attention to those signs they are there …❤❤❤
Thank you. I am suicidal. But i love my family. ❤
Please No!!!!! The pain inflicted on your loved ones is unbearable!!!!!!
Are you reaching out and getting help
My dear, obviously something is giving you pain enough for you to feel this way. Since you love your family, open up to them. Tell them where you feel there is a lack and ask them to accept it. From there try to see and talk it out what are the things they can do to support you. Don’t keep it within you. your life is worth it. Just hang in there, take help, find alternatives and try to hold on to the thought that life is an experience - the good and the bad. See where it can take you. Best wishes.
My mother took her life last week. There was emotional abuse and neglect, she abandoned me all my life but she was my mother and I love her unconditionally. I struggle to see my future and wonder if I will even feel true happiness again.
My mom and I also fought a lot... But I still loved her. I was the one that found her hanging a month ago. She was supposed to go out with me that Saturday. She changed her mind and I didn't even question why she was acting so weird. I feel so guilty. I should have been a better kid.
I lost my mom to suicide just over a year ago. March 21st 2021. It was tragic. I was away in the mountains with friends with no phone signal but boy did i know it was happening. I felt it. On the night she did it I was wide awake praying for her soul and I just knew. Every cell in my body could feel her pain and I cried, I cried all night. When I got signal two days later, my brother in law called me with the news. I hope her soul is at peace now. I relate to everything said in this video.
❤️ my brother died by suicide 28 years ago, when I was a child. I still think about him every day, and about the man he would be today, and what he would think about who I am, someone 17 years older than he was when he ended his life. I regret that I never had the chance to know him as an equal due to the difference in our age.
The pain you’re all expressing resonates in me so fiercely. My eldest daughter took her own life on 22/10/23, and she was 26 years old. She’d been experiencing depression and anxiety for the past eight years.
I don’t think my guilt and self loathing will ever go, as we had an argument the night she left the house. Two days later the police knocked on the door. Our whole world was devastated. I don’t think I can ever forgive myself.
My heart aches for her daily.
You poor, dear Mom.
I hope you realize that your one argument was not the cause. Her illness was....
❤
I lost my fiancée to suicide on May 19th, 2022. I came home from work to find her in our bed. I have been in therapy since it happened. There is not a day that goes by where I do not miss her dearly. I will admit that I had some thoughts about following her due to the level of pain I was feeling. But I would never follow through as I do not want anyone else to go through the pain I am going through.
So sorry for your loss 💔🌹
I’m sorry for your loss my friend
❤ my fiance died from suicide and its been 6 months now,i can’t get over it,it feels like yesterday
I'm so sorry for your loss
Be strong, it is hard but the pain will decrease at certain point to be bearable. Mine gone 4 months ago. I m still in pain
My 35 year old son, Larry died by hanging himself on 11/10/23. I am stuck on a loop on that day. All I can think of is joining him. He was my only child. Only another mother can begin to understand.
I am so sorry....i cant even imagine. I have one son and losing him is my biggest fear but losing him to suicide i cant even begin to think of it because the pains to intense. His auntie passed away (auto accident she got in on purpose) in nov.of last year. I give u so much respect and i send u so much love to you.....god bless u and help u thru this unimaginable time ur going thru
So So sorry!!!! Our son as well! No words for this pain!!!!!
❤
I lost a friend to suicide in September. Thank you for explaining why this hurts differently from other grief experiences I’ve had 💔
My sweet baby girl brought me here. She was so smart, witty and beautiful. She had goals and direction. She was going to graduate high school at least one year early and was trying to finish even two years early. But she was never pushed to do it by me or her mother. It was her own drive. She was hard on herself. If she didn't get a 100% on a test shed say she failed. She was her toughest critic. My baby girl was 15 years, 9 months and 20 days old. I just miss my sweet baby girl so so much. I took for granted that she'd just be here my whole life, and I just feel so empty.
Thank you so much for making this video for us. I don't know if it will actually help, but thank you for trying
I lost my husband by suicide 9 years ago.. I went thru something I never went thru before. I really didn't think I'd make it. I did.. Barely. Not I've lost my sister by suicide, my best friend by a brain aneurism and it was sudden. Then my second husband by murder and recently my mother by natural causes followed by my grandmother 41 days later. I'm grieving and some days I feel like I'm grieving for them all.
Wow… my prayers are with you. You are so strong and I send you a million hugs.. Hang in there 💜 I love you
You're catching a lot of grief all at once. I'm so sorry you are in that pain. Please know you are not alone and you don't have to be alone. Go to all the groups and therapists and everything you can find.
Nothing changes until we change something. And I hope you find a lighter heart through whatever means possible. ❤️❤️
God bless you . 🙏 I relate all too much with you and all you are surviving- enduring and overcoming ! May you be blessed and comforted from my heart to yours -
I'm so sorry. ❤ That's a lot of loss for one person to cope with.
I am in aww of your strength
My girlfriend of 4 years died by suicide in June. I love you Janell❤
Guilt was the most traumatizing part of the grieving. I sat for months after each person passed on and tried to see if I missed any signs. The guilt definitely invoked nightmares whereby I couldn't save my cousin. Thankfully my mom seen the signs of depression I was displaying, she made me speak about what I felt and I spoke to a counselor at my university. It helped because I was able to let go of the fact that none of us were able to answer the questions we all had.
Just lost my baby 14 yr old son to suicide on Oct 4th. I found him hanging from his loft bed after a small argument about him sneaking on his phone I didn't even think he could unlock or find. An argument we've had multiple times over multiple things the past few years at varying degrees amd arguments or issues that had been much worse were worked through and we always were okay. He had cut his arms once but he swore he wasn't suicidal. He said it was just out of anger and to show us how much he cared about his girlfriend. He swore he would never commit suicide because he knew how impactful and traumatic and painful it would be for me and our whole family (he has 3 younger brothers) the argument was short I finally just said go to your room and calm down please take some accountability for your lying and actions for once please stop yelling excuses and tale a break ill be down in a minute when I calm down. About 20 minutes later after a few texts with my husband and trying on a new costume I thought I might wear for halloween.. I felt bad like I always did. It was homecoming Friday and his first since starting highschool. I was gonna give him a hug and tell him he could go to the dance if he just stopped lying to me please.. and he was hanging by one of his neck ties from his loft bed on his knees. It didn't feel real at first I told him to stop faking I shook him quickly realized I needed to cut him down ran up stairs got scissors cut him down called 911 and he flopped down on his back. I started chest compressions until EMS arrived. All my kids were home and up stairs but thankfully for some reason and through all the commotion none of them came down during this. Ems got a pulse he was life flighted to a children's hospital and stayed on life support until the morning of the 5th day when his body couldn't hold on anymore because of his complete brain death/lack of oxygen. It still doesn't feel real. I function I take care of my sons. We had a beautiful service. My husband has returned to work all of my family has flown back home accross the country and I just... I journal.. I take my medicine. I cry a couple times a day. When I actually feel the reality in brief moments. I want to hug his urn. But most of the time even though I was with him as his ventilator was removed he took his last breath his heart stopped all of these things... I'm still waiting for him to come home.
I am so so sorry. xx
I'm so sorry. Sending hugs. I lost my son to suicide as well.
I lost my son. He was everything to me
I'm so sorry for your loss
I lost mine one year ago🙏🕊️🤗
@@dadcelo Thank you
@@Lennashome I’m so sorry. Sending you a huge hug 🤍
Lost my husband 5 months ago. These videos and this community help me to feel less alone and validate my feelings so thank you and sending love to everyone ❤
My wife of 30 years committed suicide 6 months ago. She left behind our beautiful talented daughter and a 6 year old beautiful grandson who loved her . I'm not sure I will survive this. The pain and loneliness is unbearable. I have struggled with her mental illness over the past 3 years but I never could imagine she would kill herself.
If you need somebody to talk to I’m here just say the word ❤ I’m also feeling that lonely unbearable pain
I am so so so so sorry. I just lost my best friend of many years, who just the last year became my partener to suicide a few days ago. I’m crushed for you. Stay strong for yall’s baby. I believe in you. Sending so much love to you.
my only daughter committed suicide 05.12.22 she was only 14.
@@xiomaraaraomiox5038my heartfelt condolences and prayers. If you need a listening ear, let me know❤
@@beholden2874 thank you….
I lost my husband 3days after Christmas 2022. Finding him is a traumatic experience that I can’t get over. I mad at him, however I miss him so much. ❤❤
I am so sorry. My husband died by suicide 10 days before Christmas in 2022. I still find it unbelievable.
@@integerconsulting9344 I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?….,
I’ve never thought I’d end on this side of RUclips..commenting on suicide video because I feel so helpless in the loss of the mother of my 3 yr old daughter via suicide 2 days ago . I’ am broken! I cannnot find the strength everyone tells me to have. Please please please check up on ur loved ones going thru a hard time in life BEFORE YOURE TOOO LATE…loneliness is detrimental to the human spirit..god bless alll. may god bless and have mercy on your soul babygirl I love you Lali
Thank you for this video , I lost my husband of 33 years to suicide in 2015 , I found him 💔and 9 years on im am still struggling , my heart goes out to all of you here ❤️💐
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?….,.
@@chrisjohnson-uq9zs , sorry for your heartache too , I’m in Kent Gillingham .
@@bunnyyt8941 nice, I live in st Agustin Florida, how’s everything going with you .,?
I watched my person commit suicide after a argument with her brother. I was so close to her that day but I couldn’t stop it. She suffered from BPD and depression. I watched her body go lifeless and held her for the last time. Ever since that day Feb 27th 2023 2:30pm… I’ve been in this autopilot I can’t get out of.
My person is gone.. I’ll never see their smile again. I’ll never hug and kiss her again. She will never have known what could have been. She was so… tired and struggling for so long. I thought we had more time. I thought we had all the time in the world. And now my heart will never forgive me
@jibril...sooo sorry(south africa)
I'm very sorry, I was also a witness,in the same room..just across the bedroom and couldn't stop him..I understand a
I understand it was the same with my husband. I will never forgive myself
Your person?
My sweet son took his life June 28/22. He was high risk, but I never thought he’d go through it. Thank you for sharing this.❤
I lost my 29year old son Callum on June 28th 2023. He left behind a 3 year old daughter and a 1 year old son . The grief is horrendous and some days I feel like I won't make it through. Our hearts are truly shattered
My 27 year old beautiful daughter named Karis took her life 12/23/2023. I found her and cannot or will not ever forget that image. Thank you for this video and the comments on here as well. I am in the deepest pain imaginable. I saw the signs and we were addressing them. She suffered from depression and turned to a deadly drug that made her psychotic. She was scheduled for rehab but not until the day after Christmas. She just could not live in her pain anymore. I am broken and know I will never be the same. I miss and love her until we meet again in heaven my sweet angel.......
so so very sorry for your loss of daughter who was in pain an took her life.
Thank you for your condolences💔@@sharonlujan9497
I am so so sorry. I understand completely your pain and feel the same emotions. My daughter, age 46 took her life on 12/19/2023. I, like you, found her. I will never be the same but I have her 15 year old daughter to shepherd through life so I can't give up.
💜
My husband of 23½ years took his life this past Sunday with no sign that anything was wrong. It was the early morning after my birthday (Saturday). He was a military veteran with PTSD and related depression, but he had been participating in a veterans program for therapy. He seemed to be doing good. The kids and I had no clue.
Thank you for sharing this video 💔
I'm so sorry for your loss
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?..
my father and 3 siblings took their lives from 1981 to 1995, I now work in suicide prevention and postvention as a social worker. Their deaths made me more determined to advocate on behalf of people who feel suicide will end their pain.
😭❤️
Just lost my ex after a huge fight between us. I will never stop regretting that stupid fight. Never. Nothing was more precious than his soul and his life.
This past Friday morning, a friend of mine I've known for 7 years took his own life. He had been suffering for a very long time and tried to alienate and push away everyone he ever knew, everyone who ever cared about him. He tried to make all of us hate him but all it did was make us want to help more.
I'm glad he's finally done fighting but it still hurts to know that he's gone. He didn't leave a note, he never told anyone of us why, he never told anyone of us how he was feeling, how he was crumbling to pieces...I just wish we could've done something.
He took his own life in a car I sold him that I had some of my most treasured memories in...this car is being returned to me and it fucks me up even more to know that I have to drive it now because I just got into a car accident that totaled my car...I need it but I just don't want to look at it. It has a name "Solace" which I guess...it certainly was for him in the end. He loved that car as much as I did and it seems like it loved him back enough to be those open arms and that comfort he needed in the end to finally...stop fighting.
I don't know how to feel or what to do. The only other thing for some reason I feel is rage that nobody in this situation can be allowed time to grieve amidst all the police bullshit, this legal bullshit, the funeral arrangements and the liquidation of the possessions of that lovedone...why does this have to be the first step after someone dies? Even if they took their own life? It's monstrous and I know this is just the stage of anger in the scale of grief but...knowing that doesn't do anything but make me angrier because I, just like he is...am now a statistic.
The pain is just so wrong..he failed in his mission to push us all away...we are all broken.
I miss you Nick, we all miss you Nick.
Nick Dodge
1993-2023
similar situation as you.. my friend pushed everyone away over past 2 years. we almost made up. if they waited 2 days we could have talked. i wanted to be there so bad. i wish love could save alone.
1996-2023
Ily soso 🩷
I lost my son 3 weeks ago. He struggled with addiction and had moved home right before Christmas to try and create a better life for himself. I was right in the next room and was the one who found him. In his suicide note he said he was tired of being pulled between two worlds and feeling like a burden. The grief is overwhelming and the constant arguing with myself inside my head is exhausting . Yours is the first video I've watched that I was able to relate to at all. Thank you so much ❤
I'm very sorry.
i just lost a dear friend to suicide this past weekend. no one saw it coming, and it is hard to imagine that it is real. it's so heartbreaking, he seemed so happy and excited for the future. it just doesn't make sense, and it's hard to cope with the loss.
I lost my mom in July 2023. I live with so much regret. I hope she's found peace and healing and that she's resting ❤. I love you mama and I'm so sorry
Thank you so much for your compassion. As a suicide survivor it is a great relief to know I’m not alone. 💜
No. You are not alone.
Just lost my younger brother (23 years old) to suicide on August 23rd. I miss him so much.
My dad took his life last November when he was 57 and I was 18... I don't know how I managed to pass the final year of school with this pain on my back. I miss him everyday and I hope to see him again somewhere. Thank you for your video.
Your not alone💜 I lost my oldest brother before he hit 21, I was 15.. he was my bestfriend and I too would always tell myself one day I’ll see him..
@@neaprado3592 I'm so sorry for your loss... and I know what you are going through. I feel so empty almost everyday even thought I see a therapist weekly and I start crying when I think about my happy childhood memories with my dad. Now I've understood that suicide is another kind of grief and unfortunately some people don't understand how I feel. However I can't give up, I promised him and I want him to be proud of me. I apologize for some mistakes, English is my third language and I'm still learning it. I wish you the best💜
Lost my mother and my brother to suicide, I think about it every single day, ruminating about it,I also have severe depression,it is horrible 😢
So very sorry I understand this well. I pray we get through this ugly thing.
My wife ended her life 2 days ago. I had known for a long time that this was a possibility but nothing can really prepare you for it.
Now I keep thinking of things I want to say to her and then immediately realize I can't and the pain hits me so hard.
Part of me wants the pain to end, but another part of me wants to hang on to it because it feels like that would be a betrayal of her memory.
I hope you find a support group to connect with others in the same boat. Don't let the grief eat you up.
My sweet husband completed suicide on June 12, 2022. I fear my future is gone and if I hear one more person say, "you still have a future, it's just not going to look like you thought it was going to look," I might lose it. Everything that you said, is spot on.
Hello Pamela, I lost my wife to suicide 6 months ago and I know how you feel about the future. I just wanted you to know I feel the same. Your loss of 6 days is so raw I remember little bits of how I felt at that time. After 10 days I went to a support group and let everything out. I don't know if a support group is your thing. The guys who run my group speak from experience n to me that to me makes a big difference. Talking does help Pamela, take little steps too. I think RUclips notify you if you get a response to what you post so I'll keep an eye open if you decide to respond. Ok
@@billhowzat7962 I'm sorry to hear about your wife. Thank you for the advise. I started seeing a counselor the week it happened and have been looking into a support group. I fully agree that speaking with people who have been in my shoes can only help. Prayers for you and yours.
@Pamela Woodard I'm glad you have a counselor, mine is very good. She speaks from experience too. Sorry you have lost your husband Pamela. Take little steps and keep talking, (it's so underestimated). I live in the UK and I've used my counselor, MINT support group, Andy's Man Club n have been to a support group for people like ourselves. I've just told them all how I feel but that's me. I'll keep monitoring RUclips, no pressure. X
I just lost my dad last week and within all this pain and heartbreak the hardest bit, for me, is knowing how distraught my mum is, how much guilt and dispair she feels. She loved him so much and she did everything she could do to help him be happy. I hope you will find happiness and peace in your life one day, just as I hope my lovely mother does.
@@cirrus393 I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I'll be praying for you and your mother.
I’ve lost my partner of 5 years to suicide 2 months ago. I’ve been so lost, thank you for this video ❤️
I'm very very sorry.
I'm so sorry
My wife and I lost our only son to suicide. He was living with us in our apartment and shot himself thru the head while my wife and I were home. I worked for many years at a hospital and have seen a lot of death but nothing can prepare you for this kind of trauma. This happened a little over a year ago and we still have tough days.
So sorry 💔
Joel; your story is our story. My wife and I lost our only son, who was only 13 years old, in the exact same manner and with my wife and I in the same room. This happened five weeks ago and I'm still in the same shock and disbelief as I was the moment I heard the shot go off and the glass door of our shower enclosure explode. He was an honor student and a star athlete, had a bunch of friends and a girlfriend, and was loved by everyone. He grew up in a very loving home and had the love and support of both his parents and his older sister, and had everything he needed and wanted. What we didn't know at the time and have since found out, is that he started vaping and developed an addiction and couldn't stop. We think he started vaping and smoking weed on occasion, back in February. We are almost positive that he obtained his own vape towards the end of March and was vaping frequently every day from that point up to this happening, which was only one month. We suspect that his mental health took a nose dive in that one month period and the effects of the vaping on his young brain caused severe depression and was ultimately the reason why this happened. We're completely devastated and don't even know where to begin, adjusting to this. I loved my son so much and was so proud of him, and he was my pride and joy. I spent so much time with him and put so much of myself into being his dad. We had a great relationship and I was the father to him that I wish I would've had. He took such a huge piece of my heart with him, I don't think there's enough left to keep living. I'm trying to be strong because I know I need to, for my wife and our daughter. But this has destroyed me. I was an abused child and I've been to war. I can tell you there's nothing in life that could ever prepare someone for this level of pain and grief. I hope you're making it along, but we are really having a hard time, probably me especially.
My god 😭
Sorry for your loss. My son took his life the same way, about seven months ago. There aren't really any good days. There are ok days and bad days, but the pain gets a little less intense.
In 2016 I met this girl, she came into the store I was working in and I happened to serve her. Instantly, we had a spark in those few minutes and when I got off my shift I was amazed to see that she had friended me on facebook. She took my name from my tag. We chatted for weeks, met up a couple of times and we just clicked. I thought she was far too beautiful for me, and how lucky I was that she had noticed me... that just doesn't happen to guys like me. Sadly though, her mother passed and we sort of lost touch because she needed that space. I then got back together with an ex, and she moved away. I have thought about her every year since then, but my texts weren't sending and I couldn't find a trace of her online. I finally found out last night that she took her own life 4 years ago in 2020. I'am beyond devastated and I almost like I don't have the right to be....
My daughter Desiree died last month by possible suicide, but I also can't rule out homicide. She was 22, and she was amazing. I love you, Desi ❤️❤️❤️
Did you ever find out about your sweet girl what really happened? My brother died by suicide 2 weeks ago but two hours before he was talking to. My parents sounded completely normal and was saying he had to get up for work the next day. I just keep thinking somebody did something to him.😭😭
@slopez1901 We never will know for sure how she died. I'm sorry for your tragic loss of your brother. I had three kids, my twin boys are only 13 months older than their sister who passed. The three were good friends and siblings so I don't know how it feels to lose a sibling, but my son's have so much grief also for their sister, I know its so much. Wishing you the most healing you can have, but we will never not feel a huge loss 😢
💔My 32 yr old son hung himself on 4th September 2024. He was upbeat, successful, beautiful & well loved. He was the son who seemed to have everything he needed & was happy… He had a wife, 3 children, parents, siblings, extended family & friends. We were all so proud of him. He bought land & planted over 7 thousand trees & an orchard…I still cannot believe he has done this… He knew we would be heartbroken!
My boyfriend of 18 years killed himself on 09- 14- 22. He had Parkinsons and was put on a medication that made him very anxious and severely depressed. He was started on Zoloft but saw no hope for his condition of depression to improve. He was a professor for 33 years. He hadn't to take a semester off. His Parkinsons symptom was only slight trembling in one hand.He was already on a medication that was working but Dr. added that one that destroyed him.I am devastated.
I lost my dear brother to suicide, only a few months ago. He was my friend, my best friend. Even when far away from each other, I still felt him beside me. He was in the US Marine Core, we had a special funeral for him, but I just felt so lonely, so lost, like I can't ever live normal or happy again. Its given me horrible depression, beyond thought, that I don't feel like I can handle life anymore. I was just a normal teenag girl, that got scarred for life.
I lost my beautiful brother 2 weeks ago!!!!! I’m sooooo depressed 😭😭😭💔💔💔
This is grief on a whole different level. My love took her own life days ago after appearing so happy. I feel like I missed signs that wouldve indicated trouble. I'm torn
They say when someone is happy that is because they have made a decision that the pain will end.
I lost my boyfriend Oscar Jurrist on July 3 2024, i think about him everyday and night but I replay that night and early morning everyday over and over again because i wasn't able to say anything in the moment to keep him here. I always fell silent whenever we had a disagreement or argument, all my baby needed was words of reassurance and i wasn't able to do that for him. Wrestling with him for the gun wasn't enough to show him i wanted him to stay. Now i have to pay with missing him everyday and every night until i die and able to be with him again
It is only 3weeks since I lost my son to suicide. So many unanswered quetions. The pain is unbearable. Such an empty feeling. Miss him so much.
We lost my husband's son Adam to suicide last week. My husband found him. He will never un see that image. We loved Adam so much and tried to help in any way that we could. His birthday is June 5th and he would of been 42 years old. He had mental illness and was on a decline the last few years. We miss him so much. We know he can finally rest and be free from his demons. It's so difficult. We had so many more times we wanted to say we loved him no matter what. We are trying to process and to remember happier times.
I lost my two cousins five months apart. Brothers. Our family was forever changed by this loss.
I lost the love of my life when he had was in his first week of medication. I was so happy that he was finally taking the steps to get better. I only later found out that sometimes medication for depression can make suicidal thoughts worse in the first few weeks. I wish I had known. I’m devastated. I thought everything was getting better. We had our whole future planned
I'm so sorry for your loss
I am so sorry, something similar happened to my husband. Sending you as many hugs as you need.
It’s almost been 3 years (November 8th 2019) since my older brother died from suicide. He was about to turn 21 and I was 15 years old… Hes my bestfriend. I love him so much. I think about it every day and it’s hard because it’s such an insensitive topic to talk about and unfortunately I will never understand. It’s been the hardest years of my life and now I’m just trying to find my answers through god. 💜
My mom hanged herself 5 months ago on one of her favourite scarves. My dad found her and I haven't seen her. Some days are better. Some days are filled with pain. It still feels unfair...
I lost my son Jason by suicide from gunshot to the head 9 years ago it hurts so deeply but I try to honor him by living my best life but sometimes it very hard 💙🙏
U got this Andrea , keep pushing Queen . I love u ❤
My daughter placed her vehicle on a train track on February 14, 2023. I was later told this was not her first attempt. I am broken beyond belief.
My brother and I are 16 and 20. Our mom killed herself a month ago. I fought with her so much. I regret every second, every fight over a silly little thing. I shouldn't have left her alone that day. I miss her so much. I want my mommy back.
Awww I am so sorry my dear am sure your mom knows you didn't mean to have those fights n she loved you n your sibling unconditionally ❤❤❤❤may God comfort you both n don't feel guilty okay please
I like your videos. I found my husband Aug 1st, 3-4 mos ago. There are no more words, everything has been said. I feel all the emotions you mention and I struggle every single day. I listen to you over again and it's kind words for me
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?….
Is it strange to feel protective of my brother after he took his life? I don’t want him remembered for that one final act? I somehow think that it is a very private death. I had no idea he was thinking of suicide so since I found him I feel it should be kept private except for those closest to me. Who knows how he would have wanted me to handle it.
I feel very protective of my brother now as well
I just lost my father 8/21/23 to suicide. He was 62 and my best friend. I can’t tell you how abandoned I feel. I was the last person he text and did a wellness check but it was too late. I love you dad and miss you every day❤
My youngest daughter took her life March 25th 2020 after going into a suicide site, ordering sodium nitrite from Amazon, 3 months prior to her death at the home she shared with her husband. I'm stuck, I'm seeing a therapist for 2 years and I just dont want to accept shes gone. She has 3 older siblings, and we are all trying our best. She left 7 notes to her husband, we found out she had been struggling for over a year prior, neither of them let us know.
Tricia , you seem to be a wonderful lady, a beautiful soul, and a wonderful mother, continue to be there for your grandkids and I believe in you and I know you can get through this (all of you) love u 😍
Both of my parents committed suicide. My Dad last year. I feel so much guilt, I found him and I loved my Dad more than anything . May 23rd will be a year. I cry everyday.
I’m so sorry 😢
My twin sister killed heralded. I wrote a book to help survivors of not just suicide but narcissistic abuse . So tragic. Even today I grieve deeply for the injustice. ❤
My daughter’s best friend took his life 35 days ago. He was 23, and was about to graduate from college. The grief and heartache is unbelievable. Worse than anything I’ve experienced, except for the loss of my mom. Feeling the heartache of his parents and is heart wrenching. As well as worrying about my daughter. There is no way to make sense of this. 💔🙏 My heart breaks for all of those who have lost family members, and to those who think this is the only way for life to get better.
My grandma look her life in front of me when I was 14 and your video is more valuable than you could ever know
My boyfriend killed himself almost 4 years ago. I forgive him now, but I was very sad for a long time. Mostly because I’ll never know why he did it. I also blame myself for not recognizing the warning signs. I miss him every single day.
Thanks for this video.. just lost my one and only brother to suicide 11 days ago. Today is his funeral. Our hearts are so broken.
😢…
❤ My uncle suddenly went blind in his 40s and the having to rely entirely on others to even find the bathroom impacted him deeply. He never told anyone he was struggling with adjusting, always smiling around family. My aunt was devastated to find him after work. Their daughter,my cousin was in college at the time.
My Twin Sister just jumped from a 5 story building. She has struggled with her mental Health for years and I have always lived in fear for her. She is currently in intensive care 😢 I’m broken I couldn’t save her 😢
Be strong
❤ my closest friend at college. It’s been two months and these last two weeks have been the hardest so far. Dealing with my own intrusive thoughts at this point and a consuming depression. I miss her. I miss my own mental health being in tact. I miss a time before it was affirmed to me that I can and will lose people.
I lost my boyfriend through suicide. I found him and it was painful to see him that way. I miss him alot and I loved him with all my heart. This video has helped me understand a bit of what am goin through. Thank u.
My son commited suicide 4 weeks and 3 days ago. I am heart broken. I am in pain. My grief is overwhelming.
I’m sorry for your loss…I pray for you and your family ❤️🙏
I’m in the same grief stricken situation! 😭💔it’s been 2 weeks
@@slopez1901 I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you. It is devastating.
❤ I'm now trying to keep my children alive 😢
My Uncle Steve whom I love very much just took his own life.
I'm going through this pain now, all the emotions. I'm glad I found your video. You have a very peaceful voice.
I love you Steve forever....thank you for your kindness to me in my life, I miss you 💙💙😭
It’s just mind boggling to see how many die by this tragedy. I lost my son one year ago, he felt stuck and overwhelmed working in Ca. Corrections toxic environment. He thought he would be a peace officer.
Yes all these feelings are big, from shock, processing ,numbness, guilt, and anger its cycles continues a year later, it’s becoming more real. I miss my bear!!!!
Suicide Grief can be so distinctive and isolating. Let's break the stigma! Share your comments of how your Grief from a Suicide loss was unique. 🙏💔. If you want to learn about joining my private online membership called The Grievolution Collective you can find information here. www.jomcrogers.com/grievolution-collective.html
My Dad shot his self through the heart in May of this year, I found him this is the second parent for me. One at 13 one now at 47. The struggle is real, the guilt is huge and the days are long. I’m going to be ok and so are you.
My god 😭❤️
One of my friends died by suicide 2 months ago and she was one of the best people I have ever met and I miss her so much💔
I lost my son to suicide 1 year and 3 months ago ❤he also jumped in front of a train my heart is broken 💔
I lost two friends this way, and friends of mine have lost children. It definitely felt different than my many other losses, especially the most recent loss of a friend. I felt guilt at not having been in touch for about a year, and not even knowing they were struggling. It seemed impossible that it happened. I kept visualizing multiple ways it could have happened which was making me more frantic. I then did the faux pas of asking her Dad if he would be willing or comfortable to tell me how it happened because I felt at the time that knowing would at least narrow down the many horrific scenarios in my head. But of course, once I knew (only the most basic info) that is what I visualized over and over (I am a visual and highly sensitive person). My sessions with you Jo, helped a lot to validate what I was feeling as well as my need to take care of myself. Reading about someone's experience of losing a loved one to suicide in their published book, was actually NOT helpful as their coping mechanisms also triggered me into feeling like I wasn't being strong enough. I did a few things that helped me to connect with my friend - wrote a letter "to" her, for instance - in a symbolic way to help deal with the guilt.
Thanks for bringing up this topic. I really appreciate your insights into the differences between grief for this kind of loss and other kinds of grief.
Thank you Laura...those are deep losses and that brings about deep feelings and thoughts. Glad I was able to support you to find ways and means to process. 💞
I was taken from the scene by ambulance. Major panic attack. The cop was asking questions and I just remembering asking is he dead over and over. It was very obvious he was. It was horrible. I remember the police coming to the hospital to ask me if he was left or right handed. I was in such shock I actually wasn’t sure at that moment. I knew. He was my best friend of 32 years. I will never forget that. I will never understand why they came to the hospital. A friend had arrived before I was gone. This was just a thought I had a few years later. Didn’t think much about it at the time.
I lost my son, he was an alcoholic, he started drinking heavily in college. He tried to commit suicide by drinking heavily in a motel room. He had second thoughts & called grandma but by the time he was found he was resuscitated. He was on life support for a short time, he had brain damage. It's devastating, my son had so much going for him, he was only 33 years old.
My mother was 37 I was 11 - my father in 2019 at 80 yo, I was 55. I was his sounding board & caretaker from a distance. I mistakenly thought because of his age and fear of failing to do so - we, he was safe. I was wrong. It happened at home in both cases. He left a audio message and all his files medical and written from the last 40 years. His “note” was transcribed by me. So his messages contained within could be given to those he wished. The day NY shut down due to pandemic was the day I received all his personal effects. I’ve yet beyond the audio transcription have been able to go through his things. He wanted me to tell his stories. To help researchers have information so he could be “of greater use after life than he was in it”.
I hear your trauma. Sending healing prayers ❤. If you need a listening ear, I am available
I’ve lost 3 people to suicide. One was my coworker I worked side by side with. This happened just 8 days ago. She left behind 3 grown daughters and 8 grandchildren, one of which is only 7 months old. Her 12 yr old grandson whom she raised found her. She’s the reason I’m here trying to cope once again.