I am so happy I got to work on this with you, Cami! Especially getting it done so quick. The lyrics were a lot of fun to write, and your vocals work perfect for them!
Now I’m imagining a companion song called “The Life of a Guard” detailing all the ways adventurers try to get past him. The bards being, by far, his favorites.
Bard:...Hey uh I may of... I might need your uh... Paladin: Gods please give me patience. What did you... Bard: A lich Paladin:.. Bard:... Paladin:... Did you know? Bard: No they were in a disguise. Paladin: Oh thank heavens. Bard:... Paladin: After this I'm going to castrate you. Bard:.... Fair enough. Paladin: Between you and the Rogue I'm going to, wait where is the Rogue. Bard: He got caught stealing. Paladin: From who. Bard: Oh, the Lich of course. Paladin:.. Bard: Who is now holding our Rogue hostage unless I marry her. Him? Honestly its kind of ambiguous. Paladin:... Bard:.. Paladin: Cleric you left this world too soon. WAKE UP EVERYONE! Monk: Its too early. Sorcerer: It wasn't me! I've been on a Fireball cleanse! Barbarian: Who we killin boss. Paladin: The Bard's latest fling. Bard: Sorry. Fighter: Well there goes the breakfast I was working on. Again.
Cami: "I'll just roll with the luck, I'm underlevelled but I can still..." Me: "Nah she's not gonna say it, this is misdirection." Cami: "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK" Me: "OH SHIT"
@@shadowbladeandlightin8889 "Ok can do : I got many shadows for your blade and if we get to work the sparks will fly ;) " This was based of your name i hope you got a chuckle out of it
@@shadowbladeandlightin8889 " I got many shadows for your blade" is just a "you can stick it any of my holes" and letting the sparks fly was a reference to your Lightning. It was also supposed to resemble the feeling of an orgasm and of love because in art both are often reflected by sparks or lighting
@@toddelmsworth640 You would need at least 5 assistant GM's lol. Each Gm would be in charge of a 5 player group in an interconnecting story where all the groups cross over with each other from time to time or at mile stone moments and big events. The logistics would be a night mare.
DM: "He is a succubuss" Bard: "What, thats the third one, barmaid was also one, and Innkeeper, is there anything that isnt a succubuss?" DM: "IT WOULD BE, IF YOU WOULD FINALY TAKE A HINT"
@@joshuaatherton9249 inter-player romance is quite rare though it can be played for comedy Like with Gertrude my half hag alchemist And resident batshit old lady of the group, Another player’s character did the anime fall and accidentally grab breast cliche and took 1d10 psychic damage from it
DM: "Welp, you've successfully charmed the lich." Cami-Cat: "Wait, what?" My party loves the trope of the Bard more than I do: I was late to a game and arrived to find out that they'd left my character in a room with a beautiful woman in the middle of an underground dungeon, believing that I'd seduce her. They were almost locked out of the room when it suddenly flooded (all the doors opened into the room), leaving my character alone with the woman and her giant crabs. Fortunately, my character had an item that let him breath underwater, and he knew 'dispel magic' to counteract her 'control water' spell. Moral of the story: never trust a lone woman in the middle of a dungeon, she's probably there on purpose, and she probably has crabs.
A little tip for any GM's that struggle with Bards. Not everything is attracted to them. I don't care if you got a 20, that Zombie, physically is not capable of finding you attractive. But also, it can be weirdly fun to flirt back with them on occasion.
I would say that the zombie was already married and already somehow mainten the grave they now rest in due to their great grandson's necromancer practice.... it instead politely groans negatively and instead points to a possible party member, his great grandson: A true neutral necromancer who humorously now lit his hood on fire after seeing a bug and head first dives into the cemetery pond of 5 ft. He is the guest party member for today and will be today's story plot
No matter how well you flirt, some people will just never fall for you. Either because they hunted you for the last 2 years and want nothing more then see you dead, or maybe they're just gay. Or not gay, depending on the pc.
A zombie, thechnically a lifeless body, got in the possession on a life-hungering spirit. It doesn't care for your flirting, as it's asexual fromt he beginning - the only thing, what's interest it, that you are a fellow undead, which case you doesn't matter, or a living being, what it can consume. Nothing else. And that's cover most of the corporal undeads too - those beings, what are still holds to their past personalities, you might be able to get some results, but as they usually turned undead by having some strong feeling towards something or someone, likely, that they will ignore you too, unless you can promise them to help fullfill their goal (and after that they will disappear shortly too). A lich can keep it's memories, so, if in it's life it was so focused on pursuing immortality, that it avoided the 'joy of the flesh' entirely, you might be able to open it's eyes to a new 'goal', resulting in this outcome, but then your character must be having some serious sickness in it's head, as the lich probably would like some proof of your feelings too...
This whole song is induendo. My favorite is the "Two sides of the same coin. While I don't have a tail, I can give you some..." implying the opposite side of the coin.
@@VirtuesOfSin ohhhhhh, that's what they were implying. I've been wracking my brain the last two weeks trying to think what the last word was supposed to be. I mean, "head" doesn't technically rhyme, but it's better than any word that does.
@@HUNKthemerc I dont think all firbolgs are fey touched just some of them but I'm also not a lore effecianado so I could easily be wrong. I Remember older editions artwork looking vastly different for firbolgs.
@@splunky5156 I think just about every edition had a different take on Firbolgs, not only that, but different 5e settings seem to alter them a bit as well. Early editions had them as violent barbarians that were pretty much just an ethnic variation of human. Now they're more like a race of giants that have been altered by the feywild. A lot of the newer art shows more animal-like characterisics, with some even having a bovine tail.
@@techissus7449 "getting some tail" refers to a guy having sex with (usually) a women. While her line "I've got no tail" is literal and refers to her character not having a tail, she could "give you some (tail)" meaning sleep with him Alternatively, she could be continuing the "coin metaphor". A coin is heads or tails. So while she can't give him tail, she can give him head (oral).
@@Bladez10 All I gotta say to that. To each their own. Just dont force it onto others. After all I dont want to watch a Linch summon maggot filled genitals. If that’s your tastes then have at it. I’ll be down at the bar getting drunk and more than likely getting seduced by a succubus posing as sexy woman.
This song reminds me of the one time I played bard. Made a deal with a fey and they wanted my first born child. You can tell where this is going I hope.
DM: I *can't* stress it enough, the *Bard* is *not* allowed to *seduce!!* Bard: oh, don't worry, I'm not gonna seduce anything DM: what are you planning? Bard: *He* is going to *seduce ME* Proceeds to roll Nat20 Agitated DM: The Elder Lich finds you *very! Attractive!!!*
@@elizawulf8180 Now there's a Villian idea: Just have one of the party's trope bard's previous lays be an uber-powerful Yandere. Who is now sneakily following the party killing anyone the Bard so much as looks at - The bard is rumored to be cursed now and it is up to the party to figure out how to fix it (cause now the bard has a massive debuff to his/her charisma what with everyone afraid to even talk to him in the first place) --> Bard either has to give up their bardish ways and settle down, or they have to find some way to get the Yandere to settle down.
DM: "I'm seriously telling you. You. can not. seduce. a door." Bard: "Is that a challenge?" Edit: Holy Bardic Inspiration, I didn't expect this to blow up like it did.
Imagine being a bard, you successfully charm the lich, and they decide that they love you so much, they want to kill you so that they can trap your spirit and have it with them forever, in a lil tiny bottle only letting you out of the bottle when they want to have you sing to them because they have a "if I can't have you no one else ever will" mentality
@@UniRobOfficial oh I've got loads more, then when the character tries to backpeddle, that just makes the lich angry and confused because their love is toxic, "you just declared your love for me and now your trying to leave?!" "I shall keep you by my side even when the sun dies and the cosmos crumbles and starts anew, no one has ever professed their love so feverently to me, how dare you try to take that away from me!" The lich, little did the party know is very clingy, aggressive in love, and obsessive in anything he wants or loves. He would sooner destroy the party and hold the bard prisoner for all eternity than part ways as friends. The lich is what I imagine to be that one crazy ex, you know the one that would rather chain you up in a locked bedroom drugged beyond belief than let you see your friends or family because their logic is if they dont do that other people will hurt their poor smoopsies widdle feelings so they'll just keep them comatose and take care of them forever instead because that's how deranged this mofo is
That sounds like the Ghost Pirate Le Chuck of the Secret of Monkey Island games. He was under some kind of voodoo magic curse, and each time he was killed, would only return more powerful than before. He'd fallen in love with the beautiful Elaine Marley, and determined to marry her and turn her into his undead bride to join him in death.
If they run rules as written a nat20 on skill checks technically isn't an autowin. It still must pass the DC set. The exception is that it's become very common for the homebrew crit success and fail on skill checks by the more mainstream casual players.
@@halojoe21 Yep. At least in Pathfinder, nat20 and nat1 only matter on attack rolls and saving throws, and I'm fairly certain the only exception if champion fighters rolling a nat19. That said, I'll still sometimes make a success sound more epic on a nat20 or a failure more pathetic on a nat1... if it would be funny.
@@halojoe21 That's true, but, as most of the time the adventurers are face with problems and enemies, created by the DM to their level, for most character (if it's not a literally min-max one) a nat20 is more, than enough to fulfill their problems avarage difficulty level. There are some exceptions, like when the DM wants to force the team into an escape scenario, and their enemies are more than a few level higher, than the adventurers, but with some ingenuity, the players often can do something, what surprise the DM even then. We had to face against one level 5 wizard, when we was at our 2. level, and we was a bit scattered in the building too. And the one, who tried to be diplomatic with the guy, was our half-orc ranger (who usually play barbarians, and with a good reason - they doesn't need harder reason to begin a fight, than "i doesn't like, how he looked at me"). We also had one elf druid, one dwarven artificer, one human war cleric, and one tabaxi monk in the team. The tavern used some herb-based incense, so my tabaxi was only patrolling outside (because of the smell). When on the second floor they begun the fight (it was already nighttime, and for a bar fight they didn't dispatch the local militia), i used acrobatics, a well near the building, and my claws, so i was able to get there, break the windows in, and join the fight, with only one round later - and begun the fight with a critical hit on the wizard, and the bonus 2 hit from the martial arts and ki, while to my bare-handed attacks get not only the monk's damage, but the damage caused by my claws too. While it didn't kill the wizard, he wasn't able to chant any spell with me at his side, his henchmen (who's level was about the same of ours) were busy handling the half orc and war cleric, the artificer's mechanical servant used the help action to distract the soldiers, while our druid din't even arrived from the first floor yet... So it needed to jump out from the window, or it would be in too big of a disadvantage, but the DM rolled almost the maximum damage to the fall damage, so when the druid arrived, and the artificer told it, to not let escape the running guy, he shot him in the back, essencially dealing the final blow on it (our ranger used a halberd, only the elf brought a bow with himself). After the session the DM told us, that it was supposed to be a recurring enemy, but we just killed it, and the key of our succes was the two fact, that a.) he didn't thought, that there will be anyone, who could go around on the barricade of the henchmen's before the wizard could finish even it's first spell, and b.) there was someone among us, who was not just had a long range weapon, but it could roll high enough, to hit it's target with it in the dark.
This is one of the most stereotypical bards of all time and you perfectly captured every aspect. Thank you for this. I didn’t know I needed it in my life.
As a lover of the bard class, also one who has played a flirty bard, and as a pansexual. I had a huge grin on my face during this song, and a good laugh.
I love it. It captures the happy-go-lucky feel of the character, the dance animation is adorable and the exasperated voice of the GM was balm for my shriveled black soul.
@@treyatkinson7564 I didn't mean to make it seem too much like you pulled an "um actually". Sorry and is that seriously a thing? I might have left a comment somewhere that literally began with "um actually".
I have never met a stereotypical bard, two of the bards I interact with focus on insults and getting under people’s skin and the third is just generally a nice support dude. Honestly, I fall closer to a stereotypical bard with half of my characters haha I’m just very subtle with flirting. ALSO THIS SONG IS FIRE I LOVE IT
Since they have a bestial level intelligence, that means they can’t give consent, so... that’s bestiality... unless you somehow learn how to cast Awaken on a Tarasque, which I don’t think you can do.
One of the most fun characters I came up with was a Bard who literally defied every Bard trope. He didn't have a tragic backstory. His family was very much alive and well. He was married from the start and faithful to his unseen wife and loved his children. He sent money, presents, and letters home to them regularly with the Druid's help (animal messenger plus any large handy animal, birds for preference). His hometown was a nice idyllic little place that, I might point out, was absolutely NOT ransacked or burned or anything at any point. He became an adventurer because he realized his music had developed a magical power over people and animals and felt it was his duty and responsibility to try and use it to the benefit of as many people as possible, plus it gave him an excuse to go out and see the world. The thought that an adventurer could REALLY provide for a family was a bonus. Good times.
Bard: I roll to seduce the dragon Bard: Nat 20 Dm: Make a Con save Bard What? DM: well he’s not stopping and he’s in dragon form right now. Roll your save
In my first campaign I played a bard, unfortunately it was our DMs first game too, and he only ever did combat so I didn't get to interact with anyone. Near the end I knew I had to do something Bard-y to save the game for myself, so I seduced the giant spider we were going to fight. got a 27 my character liked legs
This song makes me laugh because my group just finished an Under Dark campaign where I played a Bard. A few things to be noted here are that this campaign was heavily combat based, myself and my character are asexual, and most of our encounters were monsters, lychs, beholders, devils, and a demi-god dragon. So, you can image how often my character would get rag-doll in combat (still survived the entire campaign somehow). So whenever the song comes to the "hey now, this is the life of a bard" part, as opposed to flirtatious escapades, I think of all the times my character escaped the jaws of death.
@@mme.veronica735 No, not him. I got into a D&D Zelda homebrew campaign and my character was a Rito Bard by the name of Encore. He's the youngest member of the party, in his early teens, so he still has some naivete in regards to a lot of things... Like sex. The party went to a Gerudo town during the one time they allow men into their territory: To get it on and gain children as a result. Encore was obviously left out of these activities, but when one party member vaguely alluded to sex by saying something along the lines of "Performing behind closed doors", Encore smiled and said, "Oh I'm great at performing! But why do it behind closed doors, isn't it better to perform for more people, in the open?"
@@JoshtheOverlander Honestly that reminds me of a character concept I had. He's a young Satyr bard (probably Eloquence), and he just wants to befriend and make peace with people, using music, stories, and his natural charms to bring joy and fun wherever he can; he really just wants to make people happy and have fun performing. Now all of a sudden I want to play him again, but I don't have a campaign where I can sadly...
@@drogonthelizardfolkranger1702 contrary to meme's, a nat 20 doesnt always mean a natural success. Some things has a difficulty beyond 20, so even at the nat 20 seduction, the asexual elf with the difficulty lvl of 40 wont give a shit... unless your persuasion is +20 then he's interested >->
The last part of the song: that awkward moment when you're party is about to get wiped out so you do something crazy. Next thing you know, the Big Bad Evil Guy is your husband and the two of you are raising a family on a farm somewhere. 🤣
Someone told me once that Bards can "f**k their way into any situation, and then f**k their way back out of it." This song made me think of that comment. 😹
According to normal D&D lore dragons have just like sorcerers have a ludicrous amount of magic boiling inside of them. This essentially means that most dragons are at least have some capability when it comes to spell casting even if they don’t try to hard. Also metallic dragons can just flat transform into creatures weaker then itself at a certain age.
DM: You're surrounded, by a vampire, a werewolf, and a chain demon. Sorcerer: This is it. The moment I've been waiting for. I cast "greater polycule." DM: Do you mean "greater polymorph?" Sorcerer: I do not, no. (Credit to @DanLovatClark on Twitter.)
Put this on while watching my 10 month old daughter and she stood up and danced to the whole song! Thanks for making me laugh and smile. Love your songs.
I've never played a"seduce all the things" Bard. But that's mostly because 90% of the games I've played were with my family. With my father as the DM. Or more recently me as the DM. On the other hand I played a leprechaun bard once who was for a bit just to mess with someone's head someone's theme music.
Cami-Cat I love your work, I could have hear this song like 20 times already and I'm pretty hooked. You're a great singer and I hope to listen more of your work whenever you can. PD: Great work UniRob with the original video is lots of fun
![A Crap Guide to D&D [5th Edition] - Dungeon Master](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/ANdG2DGm0CQ/mqdefault.jpg)
I am so happy I got to work on this with you, Cami! Especially getting it done so quick. The lyrics were a lot of fun to write, and your vocals work perfect for them!
Thank YOU for bringing it to me! It was a delightful tune and I love it
I LOVE THIS ROB IS AMAZING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Awwww, friendship!
Thank you, sir, for getting this up and going!
She said to thank you, so thank you.
Now I’m imagining a companion song called “The Life of a Guard” detailing all the ways adventurers try to get past him. The bards being, by far, his favorites.
Underrated idea.
That's a great idea! Let's get this top comment please!!!
YES
Yes.
YES, someone has to make that!
Bard: “I laid the dragon”
DM: “You mean slayed the dragon?”
Bard:”... I laid the dragon”
& also made a dragonborn
@@pheevosgregory3401 No, Half-Dragon (if we're going by D&D lore, anyway). Dragonborns are seperate.
I know what I said 😆
"Did I stutter?"
DM: "You mean you laid the dragon to rest, right?"*
Bard:...Hey uh I may of... I might need your uh...
Paladin: Gods please give me patience. What did you...
Bard: A lich
Paladin:..
Bard:...
Paladin:... Did you know?
Bard: No they were in a disguise.
Paladin: Oh thank heavens.
Bard:...
Paladin: After this I'm going to castrate you.
Bard:.... Fair enough.
Paladin: Between you and the Rogue I'm going to, wait where is the Rogue.
Bard: He got caught stealing.
Paladin: From who.
Bard: Oh, the Lich of course.
Paladin:..
Bard: Who is now holding our Rogue hostage unless I marry her. Him? Honestly its kind of ambiguous.
Paladin:...
Bard:..
Paladin: Cleric you left this world too soon. WAKE UP EVERYONE!
Monk: Its too early.
Sorcerer: It wasn't me! I've been on a Fireball cleanse!
Barbarian: Who we killin boss.
Paladin: The Bard's latest fling.
Bard: Sorry.
Fighter: Well there goes the breakfast I was working on. Again.
This is the best example of a bard interaction ever. Got a like from me
@@Lyralovecraft thank you :)
Honestly good story reminds me of a session I watched a couple years ago also how long this take you to think up?
@@topdogjr0068 almost immediately but I'm a slow typer n I kept adding to it
@@chickendelle5435 thank you
"Youve successfully charmed the Lich"
"Wait what?"
The Lich: "WELCOME TO THE BONE-ZONE"
Which one they are all bone
Hahaha!
Say bye to my drink everyone cause it just got spat out
Putting the romance in Necromance
I read this lich voice as Macho Man Randy Savage, and honestly it kinda works for me
Cami: "I'll just roll with the luck, I'm underlevelled but I can still..."
Me: "Nah she's not gonna say it, this is misdirection."
Cami: "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK"
Me: "OH SHIT"
I thought she was going to say suck, but the classic miserection
@@TheNecromancer0
Had to do a double-take there, nice.
@@TheNecromancer0 I hate it. Take my like.
Search dirtiest song ever _ there’s a lot of *misdirections* if you catch my drift.
She trailed off, so she could totally have meant 'fudge' or 'funk' or, or, or...
Um.
Yeah.
“I’ve flirted with enough tall people to make Everest blush”
I love that
Bard: *flirts with literally everyone*
DM: "Very well, seduce me."
Bard's player: "What?"
DM: "I said... SEDUCE ME!"
Nice TF2 reference
No. YOU SEDUCE ME
*nat 20 persuasion*
@@shadowbladeandlightin8889 "Ok can do : I got many shadows for your blade and if we get to work the sparks will fly ;) " This was based of your name i hope you got a chuckle out of it
@@einfangirl2351 you confused me, I said seduce me, I didn't get it
@@shadowbladeandlightin8889 " I got many shadows for your blade" is just a "you can stick it any of my holes" and letting the sparks fly was a reference to your Lightning. It was also supposed to resemble the feeling of an orgasm and of love because in art both are often reflected by sparks or lighting
I’m starting to get convinced that the game of dnd in Jocats video is an actual game of dnd.
Edit: Spelling.
I wouldn’t want to DM for a party of 30+ players
@@toddelmsworth640 it can ony work if its west marches style game lol
@@toddelmsworth640 I would :3
@@toddelmsworth640 You would need at least 5 assistant GM's lol. Each Gm would be in charge of a 5 player group in an interconnecting story where all the groups cross over with each other from time to time or at mile stone moments and big events. The logistics would be a night mare.
@@judgedredd2039 sounds amazing
DM: "Some city guards approach you. They seem suspicious of your activities-"
Bard: "I roll to flirt."
DM: "All the guards in this city are gay."
DM: "He is a succubuss"
Bard: "What, thats the third one, barmaid was also one, and Innkeeper, is there anything that isnt a succubuss?"
DM: "IT WOULD BE, IF YOU WOULD FINALY TAKE A HINT"
*Did I stutter?*
@@MasterCookies you mean incubus?
@@lucasbeck1391 did i studder
Changeling bard: *it is showtime*
1:06 can we appreciate that when Cami got the nat 20 everyone cheers but the DM who just groans in mental anguish.
HOW DID I NOT NOTICE
I did not notice the groan until i saw your comment. Thank you for making the song so much better
I had to turn up the volume to catch that. That is hilarious.
99% of DMs when a bard sheet is handed to them. The other 1% play bards themselves
I never heard that, now I laugh every time I hear that part
Her dice is weighted you can’t get nat20 on this many preformence checks
Well... For all you and I know, there could be 2574 other times where she tried and failed the performance check.
If Wil Wheaton defies the odds, so can you.
I raise you one Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III
As a DM who had a bard make 5 Nat 20 rolls in a row, I’ll say otherwise.
Roll20’s broken, then. We’ve had nat20 three times in a row, once.
DM: OK, so in this campaign everyone is your sibling.
Players: But, how we're all different races!?
DM:
I want to play this campaign
SWEET HOME ALABAMA BABY!
@@joshuaatherton9249 inter-player romance is quite rare though it can be played for comedy
Like with Gertrude my half hag alchemist
And resident batshit old lady of the group, Another player’s character did the anime fall and accidentally grab breast cliche and took 1d10 psychic damage from it
Reminds of a story I read on Reddit. The entire campaign was a group of different race siblings on a mission to find their missing bard dad.
wait isn’t that a plot of Saint Seiya (Knight of Zodiac)?
song: flirt with every NPC.
me as a DM having a mental breakdown in the corner: aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Yeah me too, I'm just glad my group doesn't have a bard
I feel you pain my party constantly kidnaps random npcs and adds them to the team....... so many Steve’s and joes
@@vraptor1933 they are making an army don't let them, not making that mistake again
Me also a DM with a bard in his campaign’s party, joining in: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
@@vraptor1933 you describe my party. Before i said stop to theam there was at least 18 NPCs in the party.
DM: "Welp, you've successfully charmed the lich."
Cami-Cat: "Wait, what?"
My party loves the trope of the Bard more than I do: I was late to a game and arrived to find out that they'd left my character in a room with a beautiful woman in the middle of an underground dungeon, believing that I'd seduce her. They were almost locked out of the room when it suddenly flooded (all the doors opened into the room), leaving my character alone with the woman and her giant crabs. Fortunately, my character had an item that let him breath underwater, and he knew 'dispel magic' to counteract her 'control water' spell. Moral of the story: never trust a lone woman in the middle of a dungeon, she's probably there on purpose, and she probably has crabs.
🦀 It’s time for crab 🦀
Of course she had crabs
“Crabs” ew
.... you know I’m sure we knew that last part.... but hearing you say it makes it more hilarious with how often you find those.
and gigantic crustaceans
A little tip for any GM's that struggle with Bards.
Not everything is attracted to them.
I don't care if you got a 20, that Zombie, physically is not capable of finding you attractive.
But also, it can be weirdly fun to flirt back with them on occasion.
Unless you go by Warm Bodies logic.
I would say that the zombie was already married and already somehow mainten the grave they now rest in due to their great grandson's necromancer practice.... it instead politely groans negatively and instead points to a possible party member, his great grandson: A true neutral necromancer who humorously now lit his hood on fire after seeing a bug and head first dives into the cemetery pond of 5 ft.
He is the guest party member for today and will be today's story plot
No matter how well you flirt, some people will just never fall for you. Either because they hunted you for the last 2 years and want nothing more then see you dead, or maybe they're just gay. Or not gay, depending on the pc.
My party has 3 bards and non of them have started flirting with everyone....yet
A zombie, thechnically a lifeless body, got in the possession on a life-hungering spirit. It doesn't care for your flirting, as it's asexual fromt he beginning - the only thing, what's interest it, that you are a fellow undead, which case you doesn't matter, or a living being, what it can consume. Nothing else. And that's cover most of the corporal undeads too - those beings, what are still holds to their past personalities, you might be able to get some results, but as they usually turned undead by having some strong feeling towards something or someone, likely, that they will ignore you too, unless you can promise them to help fullfill their goal (and after that they will disappear shortly too).
A lich can keep it's memories, so, if in it's life it was so focused on pursuing immortality, that it avoided the 'joy of the flesh' entirely, you might be able to open it's eyes to a new 'goal', resulting in this outcome, but then your character must be having some serious sickness in it's head, as the lich probably would like some proof of your feelings too...
"You've successfully charmed the lich..."
Do you perhaps mean...
*Bone Daddy?*
SHUT
@@arcahmwinters70 Ah, a fellow Sean and man of culture.
Sasuga Ainz-Sama
Overlord skeleton daddy
Oh no
“I’ll just roll with the luck. Well I’m underleveled but I can still fuuuuuuu” XD
2 more and yoy got 500 likes, I wonder why no one comment this yet.
Noice
@@taegamerth2044 needs no comment. Already perfect
This whole song is induendo. My favorite is the "Two sides of the same coin. While I don't have a tail, I can give you some..." implying the opposite side of the coin.
@@VirtuesOfSin ohhhhhh, that's what they were implying. I've been wracking my brain the last two weeks trying to think what the last word was supposed to be. I mean, "head" doesn't technically rhyme, but it's better than any word that does.
Life as a bard - FUN AND FLIRTY
Life as a DM and the whole party are bards - "for the love of god stop trying to suduce the catfish"
The dm: you can't charm everything
The bard: you underestimate my loins
@@Rhino-Prime Them loins.
Catfishing the catfish?
Meow?
Funnily enough, I'm in a party of 6, 3 if which are Bard, and one of us got our warlock in bed with a locatha
Tale of Arthurian "I slay the dragon"
Tale of Pete "I befriended a dragon
Hicup "I train a dragon"
DnD Bard "I lay the dragon"
Donkey from Shrek is now officially a DnD bard
@@GrimmSaber get out. And make the character sheet and come back
Tenacious D
Arthurian: y-you mean…. Slay-y; right?………. RIGHT?!?!?
@@theg6458 OH GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
Dagons and Dongons: DADDYYYYY
I find it hilarious how they just walk into a tavern and the big bad evil lich is just sitting there having a pint, does spit take, and shouts, "YOU!"
Oh, Cami's character is a firbolg. I just noticed the ears. That's neat.
Aren't only fey touched firbolgs supposed to have ears like that? I thought regular firbolgs dont look anything like the 5e art shows.
@@splunky5156 5e firbolgs are fey touched
@@HUNKthemerc I dont think all firbolgs are fey touched just some of them but I'm also not a lore effecianado so I could easily be wrong. I Remember older editions artwork looking vastly different for firbolgs.
@@splunky5156 I think just about every edition had a different take on Firbolgs, not only that, but different 5e settings seem to alter them a bit as well. Early editions had them as violent barbarians that were pretty much just an ethnic variation of human. Now they're more like a race of giants that have been altered by the feywild. A lot of the newer art shows more animal-like characterisics, with some even having a bovine tail.
@@bskec2177 Interesting most of what I "know" comes from Mrrhexx and his videos and I remember he did a firbolg one awhile back.
This is just Cami-Cat proving that she is a bard Irl.
Most d&d RUclipsrs are
Cami: habitually sings love songs to cope with her being single
Also Cami:
hey i could listen to Cami for hours!
“While I’ve got no tail, I could give you some...oh boy”
This got howling in laughter
What was she going to say?
@@techissus7449 "getting some tail" refers to a guy having sex with (usually) a women. While her line "I've got no tail" is literal and refers to her character not having a tail, she could "give you some (tail)" meaning sleep with him
Alternatively, she could be continuing the "coin metaphor". A coin is heads or tails. So while she can't give him tail, she can give him head (oral).
@@Randomness823 Thanks, I didn't understand the reference.
@@Randomness823 and here I was thinking "loin".
@@Randomness823 this is actually so informative, I didn't knew it lol
Did you just censor profanity by holding note?... that’s freaking legendary
Ikr
@@ihaveasandleonmybed8405 what dose that even mean?
It means I know right
What was the word
@@Mustang-wt1se "well I'm underleveled but I can still fuck"
She held the last note to censor "fuck"
Lich: Okay, fine. So what do we do now?
Cami: I don't know, I didn't think I'd get this far.
They bone
The lich regained his previous personality and no longer requires souls. What do ya wanna do?
@@arcahmwinters70
Clap some clavicles
@@CoolColton947 That one got me.
The downsides of having +”yes” to Persuasion
UniRob "You've successfully charmed the lich.
Cami: "wait what.?"
Froot: "AYAYAYA!"
Cami: " *YES* !"
Ah, a vshojo fan. I like you.
I was waiting for one of these.
Froot!
I appreciate you and your comment
I like the, "wait what?" Like she either wasn't expecting it to work or she didn't know it was a litch.
I almost spat out my drink when I heard 'You've charmed the Lich'. That ending was funny as all hell.
"Woo! Wait what?"
@@H9092-2
I wanted to make a necrophily joke but nothing came to mind.
@@silverousleonidas5790 If you did, we'd be dead fucked.
@@silverousleonidas5790 So, the bard will hit on anything moving or not moving.
@@Bladez10
All I gotta say to that. To each their own. Just dont force it onto others. After all I dont want to watch a Linch summon maggot filled genitals. If that’s your tastes then have at it. I’ll be down at the bar getting drunk and more than likely getting seduced by a succubus posing as sexy woman.
“I grab my ukulele and sing-“ “oh no” every bard fight in a nutshell
This song reminds me of the one time I played bard. Made a deal with a fey and they wanted my first born child. You can tell where this is going I hope.
9 months after the deal they come to collect and you present a small army of screaming children.
"Find out which one is the first."
Genius
I thought you impregnated the fey for a second
@@nightram6164 Even better!!
You have the thought process of a djinn.
*I love it.*
Bard: "I'm gonna sing and charm the lich"
DM: "you can't actually charm the lich.."
Bard: "Did I stutter?!"
DM: ok, the lich now is on call for anything that you desire. He does however asks to please make it within good reason. If possible.
DM: I *can't* stress it enough, the *Bard* is *not* allowed to *seduce!!*
Bard: oh, don't worry, I'm not gonna seduce anything
DM: what are you planning?
Bard: *He* is going to *seduce ME*
Proceeds to roll Nat20
Agitated DM: The Elder Lich finds you *very! Attractive!!!*
@@derskalde4973 See, there's still a way out...
*Yandere Lich*
@@elizawulf8180 Now there's a Villian idea: Just have one of the party's trope bard's previous lays be an uber-powerful Yandere. Who is now sneakily following the party killing anyone the Bard so much as looks at - The bard is rumored to be cursed now and it is up to the party to figure out how to fix it (cause now the bard has a massive debuff to his/her charisma what with everyone afraid to even talk to him in the first place) --> Bard either has to give up their bardish ways and settle down, or they have to find some way to get the Yandere to settle down.
Bard: Hold my fricking mead!
I am a simple soul. When Cami-Cat posts a D&D song, I listen.
Imagine a song with her tiefling and firbolg interacting together.
This needs to happen
They would be the most powerful lesbian couple alive I don’t make the rules
I want to hear them duel, then duet
Ohno
If this happens, then the entire multiverse is doomed 20 times over.
I love how the "Wait what" at the end implies that they weren't actually expecting it to work and "OH GOD AM I ABOUT TO GET BONED"
Fighter:I slayed a dragon
Druid:I became a dragon
Necromancer:I raised a dragon
Bard:I fu-
Dm: no I don’t want to hear it
If the bard's responsible, they could've also raised a dragon.
It all was the same dragon.
My sorceress: ... Why did I think it was a good idea to introduce you to my dad?
Just imagine how fun an actual game of dnd must be with Camicat. Gotta be hilarious.
But Lich's can't be charmed.
The horniness in this bard can't be matched!
Also she probably made at least one dragonborn
Wrong, he can't be *magically* charmed
@@pheevosgregory3401 half dragon. Dragonborn are it's own race created by the dragons
@@Usagi33353 I thought dragonborns are created when a bard meets a dragon?
@@Usagi33353 I'll look at the race
DM: "I'm seriously telling you. You. can not. seduce. a door."
Bard: "Is that a challenge?"
Edit: Holy Bardic Inspiration, I didn't expect this to blow up like it did.
*Door becomes sentient*
@@deleted4913 creation bard
*channeling my inner Barney Stinson* CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!!
Nat 20!
I.......I actually charmed a door once sooooooooo 🙂
Imagine being a bard, you successfully charm the lich, and they decide that they love you so much, they want to kill you so that they can trap your spirit and have it with them forever, in a lil tiny bottle only letting you out of the bottle when they want to have you sing to them because they have a "if I can't have you no one else ever will" mentality
*scribbles notes down for my next DnD campaign* Do go on, this is good stuff!
@@UniRobOfficial oh I've got loads more, then when the character tries to backpeddle, that just makes the lich angry and confused because their love is toxic, "you just declared your love for me and now your trying to leave?!" "I shall keep you by my side even when the sun dies and the cosmos crumbles and starts anew, no one has ever professed their love so feverently to me, how dare you try to take that away from me!" The lich, little did the party know is very clingy, aggressive in love, and obsessive in anything he wants or loves. He would sooner destroy the party and hold the bard prisoner for all eternity than part ways as friends. The lich is what I imagine to be that one crazy ex, you know the one that would rather chain you up in a locked bedroom drugged beyond belief than let you see your friends or family because their logic is if they dont do that other people will hurt their poor smoopsies widdle feelings so they'll just keep them comatose and take care of them forever instead because that's how deranged this mofo is
Ah yes, the UNO REVERSE CARD!
That sounds like the Ghost Pirate Le Chuck of the Secret of Monkey Island games. He was under some kind of voodoo magic curse, and each time he was killed, would only return more powerful than before. He'd fallen in love with the beautiful Elaine Marley, and determined to marry her and turn her into his undead bride to join him in death.
Or the bard could become a lich themselfs
The damn "Nat 20!" is like the sound every bard wants to hear in a persuasion check.and "Oh boy" the DM's reaction
That “Oh boy” is what I _live_ for
If they run rules as written a nat20 on skill checks technically isn't an autowin. It still must pass the DC set.
The exception is that it's become very common for the homebrew crit success and fail on skill checks by the more mainstream casual players.
@@halojoe21 Yep. At least in Pathfinder, nat20 and nat1 only matter on attack rolls and saving throws, and I'm fairly certain the only exception if champion fighters rolling a nat19. That said, I'll still sometimes make a success sound more epic on a nat20 or a failure more pathetic on a nat1... if it would be funny.
@@halojoe21 That's true, but, as most of the time the adventurers are face with problems and enemies, created by the DM to their level, for most character (if it's not a literally min-max one) a nat20 is more, than enough to fulfill their problems avarage difficulty level. There are some exceptions, like when the DM wants to force the team into an escape scenario, and their enemies are more than a few level higher, than the adventurers, but with some ingenuity, the players often can do something, what surprise the DM even then.
We had to face against one level 5 wizard, when we was at our 2. level, and we was a bit scattered in the building too. And the one, who tried to be diplomatic with the guy, was our half-orc ranger (who usually play barbarians, and with a good reason - they doesn't need harder reason to begin a fight, than "i doesn't like, how he looked at me"). We also had one elf druid, one dwarven artificer, one human war cleric, and one tabaxi monk in the team. The tavern used some herb-based incense, so my tabaxi was only patrolling outside (because of the smell). When on the second floor they begun the fight (it was already nighttime, and for a bar fight they didn't dispatch the local militia), i used acrobatics, a well near the building, and my claws, so i was able to get there, break the windows in, and join the fight, with only one round later - and begun the fight with a critical hit on the wizard, and the bonus 2 hit from the martial arts and ki, while to my bare-handed attacks get not only the monk's damage, but the damage caused by my claws too. While it didn't kill the wizard, he wasn't able to chant any spell with me at his side, his henchmen (who's level was about the same of ours) were busy handling the half orc and war cleric, the artificer's mechanical servant used the help action to distract the soldiers, while our druid din't even arrived from the first floor yet... So it needed to jump out from the window, or it would be in too big of a disadvantage, but the DM rolled almost the maximum damage to the fall damage, so when the druid arrived, and the artificer told it, to not let escape the running guy, he shot him in the back, essencially dealing the final blow on it (our ranger used a halberd, only the elf brought a bow with himself). After the session the DM told us, that it was supposed to be a recurring enemy, but we just killed it, and the key of our succes was the two fact, that a.) he didn't thought, that there will be anyone, who could go around on the barricade of the henchmen's before the wizard could finish even it's first spell, and b.) there was someone among us, who was not just had a long range weapon, but it could roll high enough, to hit it's target with it in the dark.
We all saw the video. We all knew it. We all wanted the full version. And she delivered. Never letting us down.
This is one of the most stereotypical bards of all time and you perfectly captured every aspect. Thank you for this. I didn’t know I needed it in my life.
This is the ideal form of the stereotypical bard
"you just successfully charmed the lich"
"Eh what?"
"so, what do you to do?"
"... get boned by the baddie, I guess."
Sure, the song's a fun listen, but the little strumming doodle animation during the chorus is adorable.
As a lover of the bard class, also one who has played a flirty bard, and as a pansexual. I had a huge grin on my face during this song, and a good laugh.
DM: Welp, you've successfully charmed the Litch
Everyone: Cheering
(realization sets in)
Cami: Wait, what?
Also Cami: Muhahahaha
I love it. It captures the happy-go-lucky feel of the character, the dance animation is adorable and the exasperated voice of the GM was balm for my shriveled black soul.
"While I've got no tail
I could give you some--"
Well thanks Cami, I sprayed my drink across the room.
But it was worth it for the laugh. :D
I love how the Bard's first instinct to seeing Evilus Max is to seduce him like she isn't going to need to make a dex save later on.
This is the most beautiful and JoCatful thing ever. I love it
Isn't she a Firbolg though?
@@qarblins_4288 firbolgs can be catty
@@treyatkinson7564 I just used the lyrics from the races song to point this out. I have no argument.
@@qarblins_4288 understood. I'm sorry if I seemed extremely, "um, actually", that wasn't my intent.
@@treyatkinson7564 I didn't mean to make it seem too much like you pulled an "um actually". Sorry and is that seriously a thing? I might have left a comment somewhere that literally began with "um actually".
I have never met a stereotypical bard, two of the bards I interact with focus on insults and getting under people’s skin and the third is just generally a nice support dude. Honestly, I fall closer to a stereotypical bard with half of my characters haha I’m just very subtle with flirting.
ALSO THIS SONG IS FIRE I LOVE IT
Why having a flirty bard wHEN YOU CAM MAKE A BARD BBEG WHO'S ULTIMATE GOAL IS TO LAY A TARRASQUE-
So just a normal bard
W H A T ?
Fucking god dammit thats a terrible idea *procceds to write it down*
Since they have a bestial level intelligence, that means they can’t give consent, so... that’s bestiality... unless you somehow learn how to cast Awaken on a Tarasque, which I don’t think you can do.
@@ASquared544 it’s a bard, do you think they care?
"Maybe I could be the greatest Gem in your pile"
That was smooth!
One of the most fun characters I came up with was a Bard who literally defied every Bard trope.
He didn't have a tragic backstory. His family was very much alive and well. He was married from the start and faithful to his unseen wife and loved his children. He sent money, presents, and letters home to them regularly with the Druid's help (animal messenger plus any large handy animal, birds for preference). His hometown was a nice idyllic little place that, I might point out, was absolutely NOT ransacked or burned or anything at any point. He became an adventurer because he realized his music had developed a magical power over people and animals and felt it was his duty and responsibility to try and use it to the benefit of as many people as possible, plus it gave him an excuse to go out and see the world. The thought that an adventurer could REALLY provide for a family was a bonus.
Good times.
Bard: I roll to seduce the dragon
Bard: Nat 20
Dm: Make a Con save
Bard What?
DM: well he’s not stopping and he’s in dragon form right now. Roll your save
**Or suffer 5d10 penetrating damage**
@@thatoneguy2546 it half that on a successful save
@@claytondavis6835 still painful though😂
@@claytondavis6835 Would still probably knock a Bard unconscious though. What happens next depends on the dragon’s morals...
@@thatoneguy2546 and very lethal at lower levels
In my first campaign I played a bard, unfortunately it was our DMs first game too, and he only ever did combat so I didn't get to interact with anyone.
Near the end I knew I had to do something Bard-y to save the game for myself, so I seduced the giant spider we were going to fight.
got a 27
my character liked legs
Kkkkk okay i break totally right nos
I love the groan underneath the 'Nat 20!!' - every DM felt it on a spiritual level.
I feel like that little dance during the chorus has gone unappreciated. It's adorable and I love it
This song makes me laugh because my group just finished an Under Dark campaign where I played a Bard.
A few things to be noted here are that this campaign was heavily combat based, myself and my character are asexual, and most of our encounters were monsters, lychs, beholders, devils, and a demi-god dragon. So, you can image how often my character would get rag-doll in combat (still survived the entire campaign somehow). So whenever the song comes to the "hey now, this is the life of a bard" part, as opposed to flirtatious escapades, I think of all the times my character escaped the jaws of death.
Last time I was this early, I used my Rito Bard's young naivete to make a bunch of innuendos without him even realizing it
Kass would never. Not my sweet accordion boy
@@mme.veronica735 No, not him. I got into a D&D Zelda homebrew campaign and my character was a Rito Bard by the name of Encore. He's the youngest member of the party, in his early teens, so he still has some naivete in regards to a lot of things... Like sex.
The party went to a Gerudo town during the one time they allow men into their territory: To get it on and gain children as a result.
Encore was obviously left out of these activities, but when one party member vaguely alluded to sex by saying something along the lines of "Performing behind closed doors", Encore smiled and said, "Oh I'm great at performing! But why do it behind closed doors, isn't it better to perform for more people, in the open?"
@@JoshtheOverlander That is adorable and I love him
@@joshthebrawler Thanks! XD I love my baby bird boy
@@JoshtheOverlander Honestly that reminds me of a character concept I had. He's a young Satyr bard (probably Eloquence), and he just wants to befriend and make peace with people, using music, stories, and his natural charms to bring joy and fun wherever he can; he really just wants to make people happy and have fun performing. Now all of a sudden I want to play him again, but I don't have a campaign where I can sadly...
the wonderful rhymes that subvert a situation or create an innudendo are the best part of this song, and the "wait, what?" was beautiful too
DM: what do you do
Bard: I charm he
DM: he a elf
Bard: f*ck
@@drogonthelizardfolkranger1702 he's an asexual elf... As Geralt would say "fuck off bard"
@@drogonthelizardfolkranger1702 That 5% chance really does have reality-warping powers, huh?
@@drogonthelizardfolkranger1702 contrary to meme's, a nat 20 doesnt always mean a natural success. Some things has a difficulty beyond 20, so even at the nat 20 seduction, the asexual elf with the difficulty lvl of 40 wont give a shit... unless your persuasion is +20 then he's interested >->
@@TenebiCenturion Wouldnt that imply a Nat 20 = any old 20? (Also, my character does have plus 20 persuasion, soooo)
Elf: "You know, you could have just asked~"
The last part of the song: that awkward moment when you're party is about to get wiped out so you do something crazy. Next thing you know, the Big Bad Evil Guy is your husband and the two of you are raising a family on a farm somewhere. 🤣
Bard: "I'm the ace of the team"
DM: Really?
Bard: *flirts with every NPC*
DM: Right...
HAH! I get it, ace, asexual, funny!
@@lordfelidae4505 Playing an ace bard won't stop me from flirting with everyone~
@@joyrose7304 touché
you see, the aro is actually the ranger.
I swear this character is every DM’s nightmare
The bard class in general
I want to make a homebrew STD chart so that I can get excited by this instead of scared.
If I was the DM I would fully accept this...as long as they used an instrument I prefer rather then a Ukulele!
First Rouges,
Now Bards.
I await the song of the Clerics.
I'd like the DND clerics to teach the wussy Minecraft Clerics how its done.
And Barbarians!
I also wait for the cleric song.
I do love the moment of realisation as the bard realises what they've done
Bards around the world, please rise for our national anthem.
Just like my thoughts on the Soviet anthem, just because I’m not apart of the anthem doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate it.
@@user-cx9un9fs7q sounds like something a Russian would say....
man i really need a 1 hour version of this, it's so CATCHY
i know isn't it? :P my SO is glaring at me for playing it so many times :P
0:48 If that dragon had been Smaug: "Do you really think flattery will keep you alive?"
Bilbo just rolled really low that time
Smaug was a red, typically evil instead of good like golds. I'm more worried why they were hunting a gold.
The art is adorable and this song is really catchy, great job!
My first ever D&D Character was a Tiefling Bard. My god this brings back so many memories of that little devil. Was so much fun to play!
Someone told me once that Bards can "f**k their way into any situation, and then f**k their way back out of it." This song made me think of that comment. 😹
You know when you are just exploring the internet and you find a channel that you instantly love? Yeah.
Cami-cat
Thank you for another fantastic video have a safe and wonderful New Year 🎆 🙏
I have many conflicting feelings of sadness, happiness, laughter and weird sexual attraction. YEP, ITS A BARD!
Woo! Thank you Cami and Rob! This was so great and catchy! Nothing can stop the charm of the Bard XD and there was even a little Yasahiro cameo!
i’ve literally had this song on repeat ever since my friend sent me this, your voice is so fucking beautiful
Love how you emphasize needing to specifically roll for the merc..right after the dragon...
"Wait, what?"
I'm dying laughing here! 🤣
This was so cute and fun! You and Rob did fantastic! The tune was catchy, the lyrics clever and the art adorable.
Last day of 2020 and I apparently needed this in my life. Thank you Cami-cat for this wonderful bit of chaos
Nothing more dangerous than a bard with a ukulele and unwavering determination
Bard: I seduce the Dragon!
DM: okay. now, you are gonna take 6d10 bludgeoning damage.
Bard: wut
DM: he's 3 sizes bigger than you!
This is why I learn magic
According to normal D&D lore dragons have just like sorcerers have a ludicrous amount of magic boiling inside of them.
This essentially means that most dragons are at least have some capability when it comes to spell casting even if they don’t try to hard.
Also metallic dragons can just flat transform into creatures weaker then itself at a certain age.
Also, congratulation to succed in seducing an Elder Wyrm! *DM smirks maliciously*
Shouldn't that be.. penetrating damage~?
@@macdjord At first its gonna be bludgeoning damage than penetrating damage.
I love that you extended this to a full song. This is beautiful.
DM: You're surrounded, by a vampire, a werewolf, and a chain demon.
Sorcerer: This is it. The moment I've been waiting for. I cast "greater polycule."
DM: Do you mean "greater polymorph?"
Sorcerer: I do not, no.
(Credit to @DanLovatClark on Twitter.)
Oh gods
This is so so so *very* stupid and I love every last second of it!
Well ain't that the truth lol
Put this on while watching my 10 month old daughter and she stood up and danced to the whole song! Thanks for making me laugh and smile. Love your songs.
I've never played a"seduce all the things" Bard. But that's mostly because 90% of the games I've played were with my family. With my father as the DM. Or more recently me as the DM. On the other hand I played a leprechaun bard once who was for a bit just to mess with someone's head someone's theme music.
Your pfp looks like a mimetic kill agent
Obviously the 85 dislikes are from DM's that have had to deal with the bards appetites
Even after this long, I still smile till it hurts hearing you hold that f-bomb. Thank you for this.
*You have successfully charmed the Internet*
I am laughing at the fact, that my bard Oliver is the total opposite of the stereotypical bard. Mine's just a hard-boiled elf bard criminal.
That ending was absolutely perfect
"Not planned to have a full version"
Me: But it still slaps though, and I love it
Cami-Cat I love your work, I could have hear this song like 20 times already and I'm pretty hooked.
You're a great singer and I hope to listen more of your work whenever you can.
PD: Great work UniRob with the original video is lots of fun
I can not express how much this song makes me smile and happy
the fact that you answered the call of the fans of the song and made a full song, that is awesome.
Subbed!
Real talk:
This song is a fucking banger.