To me, anger gives me control and power. It protects me from my boyfriend’s rage. It helps me from being emotionally bullied. I can totally see that your 3 step method will work on him. But am I the one who has to validate his feelings all the time? Why do I need to calm him? What about me? What about MY feeling?
00:00 🎙 Doug Knoll introduces the concept of de-escalation and its importance in calming angry individuals. 01:07 🛑 Three-step process for de-escalating anger: Ignore the words, read the emotional data fields, and use statements to label the emotions. 02:47 🧠 Humans are highly attuned to others' emotions, evolved from prehistoric communication methods. 03:01 🤫 Labeling emotions can help calm the emotional center of the brain, activating the prefrontal cortex for calmness. 06:01 📊 Emotional data structuring involves layering emotions to make them easier to understand and address. 09:05 🤝 Use statements in communication, even interrupting, to effectively label emotions without causing offense. 12:17 🧒 Early emotional labeling in children leads to academic and emotional advancement. 14:06 📚 Building an emotional database through association enhances emotional intelligence and communication. 16:28 🗣 Ethic labeling in leadership can create instant trust and rapport by acknowledging and validating emotions. 17:02 🏡 Application of de-escalation skills in personal relationships fosters understanding and strengthens bonds. 19:38 🧘 Attributes of emotional competence: Recognizing and naming emotions, regulating emotions, and practicing empathy. 19:52 🔄 Mastery of ethic labeling can lead to significant improvements in emotional competence without expensive training courses. 20:23 🧠 Emotional intelligence, as defined by Mayer and Salovey in 1983, is a form of social intelligence measured on a scale. 21:02 🎓 Emotional competency can be learned, leading to high emotional intelligence scores. 22:03 🤔 Emotional competency can be developed simply through listening to and reflecting on others' emotions. 22:39 🏛 Emotional intelligence can be taught effectively, even to those with troubled backgrounds, such as prisoners. 24:01 💡 Human behavior is 98% emotional and only 2% rational, challenging the long-held assumption of human rationality. 25:02 🧠 Emotional decisions at the neuronal level are based on hedonic responses, not rationality. 27:10 🔄 Recognizing ourselves as emotional beings allows for better understanding and predictability of behaviors. 27:32 ⚠ Emotional invalidation, common in childhood, halts emotional maturation and can lead to lifelong emotional struggles. 30:05 🚸 Emotional invalidation is pervasive, insidious, and detrimental to brain development. 30:26 📚 "De-escalate: How to calm an angry person in 90 seconds or less" addresses emotional management across various life stages, from dating to workplace conflicts. 32:38 💬 Ethic labeling, a communication tool, can help emotionally troubled teens feel understood and safe. 33:07 📱 Providing an emotionally safe environment for children fosters connection and nurturance.
Seems to me it only works,when you are in front of s.o. Or does it work on the telephone too? What can I do when I only in telefhon contact with a near person?????
You’re angry You’re frustrated You’re Pissed off You feel disrespected Ignored Not appreciated Unsupported Not heard You’re a little worried And anxious You’re feeling a little embarrassed, A little sad, Upset, And distressed And you feel completely abandoned Unloved And all alone And rejected
Brilliant. Wow. Thank you. This info is so valuable.
To me, anger gives me control and power. It protects me from my boyfriend’s rage. It helps me from being emotionally bullied.
I can totally see that your 3 step method will work on him. But am I the one who has to validate his feelings all the time? Why do I need to calm him? What about me? What about MY feeling?
00:00 🎙 Doug Knoll introduces the concept of de-escalation and its importance in calming angry individuals.
01:07 🛑 Three-step process for de-escalating anger: Ignore the words, read the emotional data fields, and use statements to label the emotions.
02:47 🧠 Humans are highly attuned to others' emotions, evolved from prehistoric communication methods.
03:01 🤫 Labeling emotions can help calm the emotional center of the brain, activating the prefrontal cortex for calmness.
06:01 📊 Emotional data structuring involves layering emotions to make them easier to understand and address.
09:05 🤝 Use statements in communication, even interrupting, to effectively label emotions without causing offense.
12:17 🧒 Early emotional labeling in children leads to academic and emotional advancement.
14:06 📚 Building an emotional database through association enhances emotional intelligence and communication.
16:28 🗣 Ethic labeling in leadership can create instant trust and rapport by acknowledging and validating emotions.
17:02 🏡 Application of de-escalation skills in personal relationships fosters understanding and strengthens bonds.
19:38 🧘 Attributes of emotional competence: Recognizing and naming emotions, regulating emotions, and practicing empathy.
19:52 🔄 Mastery of ethic labeling can lead to significant improvements in emotional competence without expensive training courses.
20:23 🧠 Emotional intelligence, as defined by Mayer and Salovey in 1983, is a form of social intelligence measured on a scale.
21:02 🎓 Emotional competency can be learned, leading to high emotional intelligence scores.
22:03 🤔 Emotional competency can be developed simply through listening to and reflecting on others' emotions.
22:39 🏛 Emotional intelligence can be taught effectively, even to those with troubled backgrounds, such as prisoners.
24:01 💡 Human behavior is 98% emotional and only 2% rational, challenging the long-held assumption of human rationality.
25:02 🧠 Emotional decisions at the neuronal level are based on hedonic responses, not rationality.
27:10 🔄 Recognizing ourselves as emotional beings allows for better understanding and predictability of behaviors.
27:32 ⚠ Emotional invalidation, common in childhood, halts emotional maturation and can lead to lifelong emotional struggles.
30:05 🚸 Emotional invalidation is pervasive, insidious, and detrimental to brain development.
30:26 📚 "De-escalate: How to calm an angry person in 90 seconds or less" addresses emotional management across various life stages, from dating to workplace conflicts.
32:38 💬 Ethic labeling, a communication tool, can help emotionally troubled teens feel understood and safe.
33:07 📱 Providing an emotionally safe environment for children fosters connection and nurturance.
last thing I want is someone to tell me how I feel, its controlling. I can tell someone How I feel..just need to be heard.
Seems to me it only works,when you are in front of s.o. Or does it work on the telephone too? What can I do when I only in telefhon contact with a near person?????
You’re angry
You’re frustrated
You’re Pissed off
You feel disrespected
Ignored
Not appreciated
Unsupported
Not heard
You’re a little worried
And anxious
You’re feeling a little embarrassed,
A little sad,
Upset,
And distressed
And you feel completely abandoned
Unloved
And all alone
And rejected