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If Harry Potter Was Southern
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- Опубликовано: 18 авг 2024
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"Okay, follow-up question, when is Patronus season?"
Absolutely killed me. 😂
It was the Waffle House that killed me 🤣
@@TiredMomma So basically Hufflepuff. Right by the kitchen.
@@TiredMomma Smothero Covero! Guffawed at that.
Okay but seriously, imagine a Hogwarts spin off where a bunch of kids who've been around the muggle world and seen all the movies are doing their Patronus spells and one of them summons a Jurassic Park velociraptor or a Xenomorph and all the wizards who haven't seen the movies are confused as all get out.
Patronus season or Patron? Like in silver label or gold? 😂
“Depart-o Mosquito!” I felt that lol
It's shame that one doesn't work.
(It has something to do with the Curse of Sherman.)
Are you a mosquito?
Very popular with Michiganders too! 🤓
Would also be popular in Alaska. My dad worked on the oil fields up there for a while - the mosquitoes are so big you can see them IN PICTURES.
Mosquito, Michigan's state bird #Mi
"So, I say Reparo and it fixes everything?"
"Y'all have no idea how much money I'mma make fixing ACs back home."
"You'll never see me again."
Every muggleborn ever. This is a Universal Truth. We just need two things: Reparo and Apparition. Set for life.
Also, "Accio" to get that GOTDAMN 10mm socket back that fell into engine compartment black hole.
Seriously, why is it ALWAYS the 10mm?!?!?!?! With. Out. Fail. It's ALWAYS the 10mm
@@tachyon8317I'd be satisfied if it just found the remote.
And fix a lot of Chevy P/U's .
"Harry fixes your Washer, your brakes and your cat"
@@johnharris6655 That would come in handy.
Omg… it never occurred to me a wizard could just be a muggle repairman… just take a nap under a car for an hour, tap the offending part, pocket 100+ bucks and catch up on sleep.
Yeah, fanfiction figured that one out a long time ago. Lol
@@YSO992 lol. I don’t think I’ve read the books or anything in 10 or 15 years. Never was big on fanfiction. Probably missed out on some fun stuff.
@@I_Love_QuokkasYou definitely missed out on some fun stuff.
On the other hand you definitely missed out on some truly disturbing stuff.
Still I wouldn't give it up. So much easier reading on my tablet.
Hint to fanfiction noobs: use Archive of Our Own (A03) 1) at your own risk and 2) always read the tags.
If you find what you want, a HUGE majority of it is REALLY good. If you don't catch certain tags, it may scar you for life.
The problem is that Electronics in Magic don't really mix LOL
Tom Riddle: Avad...
Bubba Potter: *Blasts him with Paw paw's shotgun*...really? Y'all were afraid of this guy?
The man brought a stick to a gun fight. Rookie mistake 😂
Have you seen the Harry Potter with guns on RUclips? I have never laughed more watching a RUclips movies.
😂
Bubba Potter. Nice.
Bubba Potter! I love that!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂
"I'm sorry, but I ain't really seeing the point of a three-headed dog. Sure he's got two extra noses, but if you're tracking a herd he's just gon' be goin' several directions at the same time. Plus, three mouths and one stomach equals one fat puppy that just pukes everywhere."
Sure and one would be tracking a coon, another a possum, and one a deer.
Also, with that many mouths and only one butt, he's just going to be asking to go outside ALL the time.
Not to mention, if it eats three times as much, does the output volume match the input volume? And don't get me started on what happens when Fluffy feels a bit randy. I mean, does he have three --. Nevermind.
PoopO STOPO...Naw puppeh' not on the rugO@@bloemundude
I do not want to have to pick up after that dog goes to the bathroom.
I almost spit out my chips at the accuracy of "She looks like every old lady at church that would snatch you up for runnin in the sanctuary" lmfaooo
😂😂😂yes that one!❤
She really does!😂😂
She really does.
"Well, since my Southern Baptist parents disowned me I have to stay with my Uncle Roy and my Aunt Phyllis. Naw, we ain't really related, we just call 'em "aunt" and "uncle". They're some friends of ours who go to a United Methodist church."
The British version of Dollar General is called Pound Land.
sounds like a fun place for adults lol
They really missed out on making it a Town instead…
They missed a prime opportunity to call it Pound Town.
@@dpmills After church on Sunday, would you really want to take MeeMaw to Pound Town?
Didn't think so.
More like Quid Lieutenant
"If Y'all aren't going to do anything with that dead snake horcrux thing can I have it? I'm going to ask my taxidermist to make me a pair of cowboy boots out of her. Ever have Horcrux Chili?"
If the Southern fried basilisk is anything like the gator-on-a-stick from Texas Renaissance Festival, I'm there, buddy! =)
@jamesanthony8438 DUUUUUUDE i wish the ren fests closest to me had gator bites. Usually theres a smoked turkey leg, which is pretty good. I don't usually get one tho.
"What do you mean there is no spell with enough power to make Chik-Fil-A open on Sunday"
Just like there is no spell with the magnitude to close a Waffle House.
Simple solution is to use the imperious curse on corporate execs to open on Sundays
“Go awayo, tornado” killed me!!😂
All of us who live in Tornado Alley and Dixie Alley need that spell!.
@@janettamcgee8124Great Lakes, Ohio River valley & upper Midwest too! Many of those students have a hard time not slipping in "eh" tho'.... 🤓
if you're not fast enough, you have to use "Reparo Trailer-o".
The “Refillio Sweet Teao” Is The Ultimate Southern Spell Casting. 🤣😂☠️
And “Yall Ain’t Got No Little Debbie’s Around Here?” 😂🤣😂
Then my Mom is magic! I’ve been going in the fridge for ice tea for 40 years and it’s always there!
His spells are golden!
I would absolutely watch this series. This is a reboot I can get behind.
Same. I would too
Same!
He should do the Hobbits next. They like fireworks and foods 🥖🥧🍻
I don’t know I’m looking forward to that TV series are going to have coming out. Got to be better than those stupid movies that I don’t consider Canon.
I would watch the revamped Harry Potter! 🤭👍🤠
"Don't make a lick of sense" describes Quidditch pretty well, I'd say.
Let's invent a sport where 99.99% of games will end with all of the plays invalidated because it's that one player set aside doing their own thing instead of playing the game with everybody else who will earn all of the game winning points!
Obviously the entire concept of the game was written to be part of Harry's plot armor. One could base a "Mary Sue" argument around his natural superstar talent for this one highly specific and highly exclusive role.
A more serious attempt to flesh out a game like that could probably get even more chaotic than what was actually written, though. Probably put all four teams on the field at once, goal rings at the four corners of the field. Scoring could functions like six 1v1 games occurring at the same time. (AvB, AvC, AvD, BvC, BvD, and CvD.) Deriving an overall score from those parallel games in some way. Maybe have 2 scoring balls (I forget... quaffle?) in play at the same time. Or perhaps 3 or 4. Make each ring worth a different score instead of all the same, like 1, 2, and 3 points instead of them all being 1 point for example. Maybe the higher value rings are smaller targets as well. Put the snitch capture value in the same ballpark as the rings, so like maybe 5 points instead of 150 points. Or maybe instead of having points from the snitch perhaps the magic of the arena could automatically summon a temporary new quaffle into the hands of every player on that seeker's team when they catch the snitch, with a specific limited time frame to rush enemy rings with them to attempt to score a bunch of bonus points. Game should probably end when a team reaches some specific target in the overall score, instead of ending when the snitch is caught. Could perhaps release multiple snitches throughout the game as well. One every certain number of minutes.
@@MuljoStphoThe part I always thought was pretty amusing about Harry being a Seeker was the seeking part. Everyone who is short-sighted knows that we are the worst at spotting anything in the distance. Especially a tiny flashing golden ball that is super fast & hard to see.😅
That and the game itself. But, anyone who reads other fantasy worlds and genres would find out just how flawed and poorly thought out the Wizarding World is. Everything was thought of as the books came along. Not, over all. There are no set rules about magic and how it's interacted with in the world.
That's why fantastic beasts was soooo hard to get into. I loved the first movie - but that was mostly due to Newt which he was barely in the others lol.
But the lore they were trying to set up just did not make sense overall.
Lol hell sending mail by owls didn't make sense - ignoring the Bird logic reason here - if you have floo powder for a network of chimneys. Then, you can have a network for mailboxes lol.
@MuljoStpho they could just lower the amount of points from catching the snitch so it's more of a team effort. I remember playing quiddich on ps2 and still losing after I caught the snitch. Or the other team catch the snitch and I still win. Field goals add up. If Alabama scores 3 field goals that's still a win over another teams 1 touchdown
"Deep fry-o and covered in gravy-o" 😂😂😂
I just KNEW Southern cookin' involved witchcraft!
Now we know what happened to that damn owl!
@@jamescooley5744😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
British people understand biscuits and gravy once you call it scones with bechamel sauce.
@@Bacopa68 Did you just compare a brit scone to the magic that is a southern biscuit?
@@Bacopa68there's a video on here where they introduce biscuits and gravy to British schoolkids. One remarked that it looked like chopped ferret, but they all loved it. As they should.
"Dragons? _Pfft!_ Let's talk gators."
"Aww, yeah, we got them fellers back home!"
UAB actually HAS a dragon as their mascot (University of Alabama-Birmingham Blazers), so, technically, the South ALSO has dragons as well. Also, coincidentally, both that small Alabama city, as well as its original UK namesake, are around the same size in real life.
The Cajuns call their dragons gators to keep the muggles from hunting them.
And apparently some gators are huggers!.....🤯🤯🤯
Dragon, gators that can fly
The repair charm has to be the reason why some of the muggleborn never come back into the wizard world, the smart ones don't need to.
100%. Set for life as a muggle, and don't have to put up with the crap wizards do? Sign me up.
The hogwarts express should sell every flavor of moonpies and Dr. Pepper to go with it
Cheerwine!
SO MUCH THIS. Except it needs to sell RC Colas. Only thing that goes with a Moon Pie.
and a pouch of salted shelled peanuts.
Yes to the RC cola and the peanuts. Which go in the RC cola oh course. My papa taught me well.
Yes!
"This feels like a pac12 sport"
that one got me
I fell out of my chair.
I actually cackled
That hurt, but so does the reality that Nick Saban never scheduled a PAC-12 team. Losing to then future PAC-12 Champion Utah in the Sugar Bowl must've scared him. Kinda like the idea of buying beachfront property in Alabama.
The sad part is, they renamed Quidditch to Quadball in order to make a more official collegiate sport.
@dr Actually they renamed it in part to avoid copyright issues, but mostly to spite J.K, Rowling for having functional eyes and a functional brain. It is literally the most sorry-ass "sport" on the planet. Any activity that requires you run around a field with a stick between your legs...! 🤬
1:13 - I've never seen Professor Lockhart and Joel Osteen in the same room.
Comedy gold there buddy!
And a very compelling point!
Snorted aloud at that one!
Painfully accurate 😂
I subscribed because of that line
😅😂😅
I laughed at the "got a guy to make it into a 3", but that quick cut back to " you know, for Dale" literally almost killed me i was so caught off guard...masterful comedic timing for that
❤️😢
If "deep fry-o and cover in gravy-o" was a real spell, I'd be Sorcerer Supreme right now
"Ya'll ain't never gonna see me again. I'm droppin out today" Cracked me up :D
Instead of the train station, the kids will be transported to school from a magical greyhound bus station😂😂😂
Back of a 40-year-old pickup truck. Don't mind the beer cans, spent hulls, and definitely-not-stolen- roadsigns. That fancy school up the road uses a gooseneck with fresh hay bales. Oooh La La.
so swamp skimers instead of boats >.>@@chrisdooley8155
Greyhound or Trailways.....
I would tell you where the bus drives to, but I then would have to obliviate your muggle brains.
Oh man, I actually had this scene right here in a HP fanfic I wrote long ago and never even considered the satire. Texas kid (eventually) going to Hogwarts on a Greyhound bus! LOL
The Lockhart=Joel Osteen thing legitimately almost killed me. I laughed to a wheeze to a whooping cough and had no sweet tea to help me.
"Because my dad's a baptist minister, so ... I'm the Devil." 😭 truthhh.
"Quiddich Smiddish, Y'all ever race these brooms?"
Pull up beside Harry, 'cept yours is painted blue with a 43 and an STP sticker on it.
Neville Longbottom always has fiery flip-over crashes in the infield.
I can get so much shine through the smokies with this thing.
@@kmbbmj5857 All Hail The King, baybee!
"Y'all think we should circle right or left?"
"UnRetireO Nick Sabano" had me about choke on my coffee!
If only THAT spell would come true! Roll Tide Roll!
It did lol@cynthiarafferty7662
🤣🤣🤣 Roll Tide!!!
ditto
"You're tellin me y'all are wizards and you don't even know how to make gumbo? I'm gonna get Pawpaw Thibodeaux up in here to teach y'all REAL potions."
Using a cast iron cauldron and a boat oar....
I have learned to put down the drink BEFORE pressing play on one of Matt's videos.
Also to swallow. Dollar General is nearly out of keyboards.
You have gained wisdom, Harry! ☺ Spread the word and save clothing and keyboards from further destruction.
100%. This is how wisdom works, kids.
@@tba113 As a boy, I asked, "Grandfather, how do I learn to make good decisions like you?" He replied, "By learning from your bad decisions."
Jeff Gordon, aka He Who Must Not Be Named! 🤣🤣🤣
This one caused me to spit out my Coke! LOL!
shine of the moon
had me in tears
It was a good-un.
I was waiting for a new Dollar General to get wedged between the shops in the next shot of Diagon Alley. 😂
Maybe a Buckey's or whatever it's called in the background somewhere, too? Also, Dollar Generals popping up like magic would explain a lot.
"you know... for Dale" was magical.
Outstanding work, sir.
Stretch this out another 127 minutes and you got a summer blockbuster, I tell you what!
Yeh, 'cept the owners of the story would never let them, I bet...they'd take too much money away from 'em :D
I’d watch it and I haven’t watched more than 15 minutes of a Harry Potter movie.
*h-what
Every good southerner has a magic object to repair things. Its called Duck Tape...😂
Don't forget the magic potion known as WD40
Potions class needs to be makin Moonshine. The trailer is bigger on the inside!
It would put Snape in a better mood.
Humorously enough, all the potions in The Witcher are use liquors as a base. So this one might not be that farfetched!
Lol, Professor Snape wouldn't be happy that kids in his class are making alcohol but I think he'll look the other way if given a cut of the Moonshine.
@@WinterFrostDragon1347 I think he would “confiscate” it all.
@@kaylahensley1581, lol true.
Please make this into a literal series that mirrors the progression of the books! Please. The world needs you now. The hour is dark
As opposed to a figurative series?
Agreed, I looked at my RUclips feed for the first time in a week and thought, "no, nah, depressing, nah, OH Redneck Potter! Yes!"
Departo Mosquito is gonna come in handy after this wet winter.
Never read a Harry Potter book, never watched a Harry Potter movie.
I’m ALL on board for southern Harry Potter!
I did a couple and never got into it, but I'm right with you here!!! :D
You too?😂😂😂😂
I read them, mainly because my professor insisted that I put Hermione Granger in my paper. I can safely say Matt's version is far superior to the books.
Y’all are crazy, Harry Potter is the absolute best.
The Piggly Wiggly hat! 😄😄
"Never seen Professor Lockhart and Joel Osteen in the same room." Omg Matt! 😅
"When is patronus season?"
🤣🤣🤣
That last bit made me choke on my coffee 😂 As an LSU fan that spell would be one of the unforgivable curses. 😂
Definitely unforgivable!
The magical mind of Matt Mitchell has done it again. Please don't ever stop doing this, you're my favorite person on RUclips 😊
"This feels like a Pac-12 sport" lol, and THAT is why that conference doesn't exist anymore
It’s barely alive in the Palouse and Corvallis!!
Depart-o mosquito was EVERYTHANG!
Matt, this one is the most hilarious knock-off I've seen. "Shine of the Moon"😂
I'm from Texas, and I've never heard of putting swiss rolls in the freezer. Now I gotta try it.
I'm from Tennessee, and I agree... I'm buying a box when my check comes in lol... I wonder if it'll also work with the Little Debbie Strawberry Shortcake rolls...
@@dakotazdonowicz423 Couldn't hurt to try!
It's awesome. My dad used to do this.
You can technically put all sorts of little debbies in the freezer. They actually taste better...
@@nataliestark8243 I mean, yeah, you can put anything in the freezer, I just meant like would it work in the sense that it would taste better that way.
omg Lockhart does give off that Joel Olsteen vibe.
"After all, I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at him."
Totally lines up 😂
This has to be one your best. Love the change lightning bolt to a 3.
Matt is half way to Hagrid. Ok, a wig might help...
The cracker barrel game line got me.😂
"I've never seen Professor Lockhart and Joel Osteen in the same room" - I actually shouted, that has no reason being that funny 💀
"I know my house! Waffle House" 😂 I cant
See, now I wanna see Matt do Southern style D&D.
As a recent FSU graduate, that triwizard tournament comment hurt my soul
this needs to be an entire series
just gonna say I don't think you can ever top this one, awesome!
“Who is this he who shall not be named? Y’all talking about Jeff Gordon?” 🤣🤣🤣
“Retireo Nick Sabano.” Yes! 😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I cackled like a whole fool the entire video!!!! I need this to be your 1st of many and definitely not the last video of the Harry Potter series.
You broke my heart with the Florida State comment. 😂
Gryffindor and Florida State have the same colors.
Hurts every time I rewatch this video. I like it better when he picks on the crocs!
Still hurts and always will
As a recent FSU graduate, that also hurt my soul
😂😅😂 Matt please do more of this!
“Go away-o tornado”
As a member of the south, I felt this in my soul
Literally had to pull over &wait for the tornado to cross the road before everyone else did on the way to work the other day.
Dude just earned a subscriber!
As a southern black country boy. I love the fact there is are no racial undertones in any videos. The south may seem so "divided" but in reality we all just alike!
Amen Brother. Greetings from Georgia!
Thank you for posting about the frozen Swiss Rolls. I've been telling folks to do this for 30 years now, and they always look at me like I've got a lobster crawling outta my ear. They are AMAZING though. The dense cake, and the chocolate that sheets off. I often like to peel/eat the chocolate off first, and then eat the cake part after. :)
The "repairo" bit is what did me in. "Ya'll ain't NEVER gone see me again."
Erm, actually, you need a permit to carry your wand!🤓 1:29 LOL😂😂
You are a Southern National treasure, Matt
That Joel Osteen comment really got me!
The reference about Professor Lockhart and Joel Osteen never being in the same room... I LOLed all the way from Houston!
“When is patronus season?” Greatest line ever.
One of the best ones you’ve done. “Refill-o Sweet tea-o” got me bad.
A swiss roll fresh from the freezer is truly a magical thing.
That was hilarious!!! The cloak of invisibility- genius!!!
Dude, you just blew my mind with the frozen swiss rolls. I've had many room temp swiss rolls, but never frozen. That sounds pleasant.
Reparo. Not just good for fixing ACs but think of all the old classic vehicles rusting away in people's yards that could be restored to mint condition, would never have to buy another car again. Deer stand getting rickety and rotten? Reparo.
*slaps truck fender* "Now this ol gal right here, she's a '72, still purrs like a kitten. Got 'er from Uncle Clyde back in '87, and she don't even need WD40 or Bondo, just a lil reparo fix 'er right up."
You had me going along with you until the "un-retire Nick Saban-oh!" As an LSU fan, let me just say, "let sleeping dogs lie!" That crap will come back to haunt you worse than sushi night at the local bait shop and taco stand!
Worse then believing the expiration date on a gas station sandwich
i need that anti mosquito spell
The "Pound" General.😂😂😂 So many good ones in this vid.😂
The "Pound General" will be a classic!!
I lost it with the “I don’t need no hat . . . I belong to the Waffle House!” I’m dead!😂😂😂💀💀💀
"cover-oh, smother-oh!!"
Chocolate frogs and jelly slugs…all you gotta do is fry ‘em.
Cajun food?
I love that all I did was look at Potter Puppet Pals and now the algorithm sends me videos like this. It gets me.
Ol' Moldy Wart ain't gonna know what hit him!
Voldemort: Im going to kill you-
New student: *Snipes Voldemort from the tower in Hogwarts* Yeah, just like hitting a bald deer.
"Did you put your name into the Goblet of Fire, Coach Norvell?" Dumbledor asked calmly.
Okay the permit for the wand bit killed me 😹🤣☠️
This was amazing. Thank you for something I didn't know I needed.
That FSU joke was low😭😭😭.
"I didn't know ya'll had a Bass Pro down here." I almost spit up my bourbon through my nose.
This gives Harry telling Ron he loves Hermione like a sister a whole different meaning.
Reminds me of the video where the americans went to hogwarts and were making napalm and had a 50 cal for the death eaters
I gotta see that video! Who made it? 🤣
@@TheOReport1994 channel called lampleg has a whole compilation
Professor Lockhart and Joel Osteen! Haha GOLD! PLEASE MAKE MORE OF THESE HARRY POTTER THEMED VIDEOS.
"y'all talkin bout Jeff Gordon?"
I can't even 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I'm on a fucking diet and this man goes and mentions freezer swiss cake rolls. So help me jesus I'm about to say bless his heart so hard his whole family is gonna feel it!
0:50 "I already know which house I'm a member of and that's the Waffle House!"
As someone who grew up Southern Baptist that devil comment was spot on!!!!
This was the absolutely funniest clip ever! I had a hard time keeping track of the scenes recreated. I am not a Southerner, or Floridian…my son grew up with the HP movies and books - he started reading at 5 after I bought the books in 2001 (he was 4). Thanks.
"Smotherem'~coverem'" freaking slayed me.