r/iamverybadass Top Posts of All Time

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  • Опубликовано: 7 янв 2025

Комментарии • 10 тыс.

  • @elysahatestostudy9364
    @elysahatestostudy9364 5 лет назад +5378

    "I instinctively analyse physics before I take a step"
    Buddy that's called depth perception

    • @char5285
      @char5285 4 года назад +321

      Thats called seeing

    • @genericname8727
      @genericname8727 4 года назад +223

      My mum is blind in one eye, meaning she lacks depth perception, but she still knows how to walk. Even fully blind people (black blind) can still walk. You know you move your legs and the force moves you forward and all that other physics stuff we just instinctively factor in when walking. You literally don’t even need to see to be able to do this lol

    • @tristasayers1516
      @tristasayers1516 4 года назад +126

      I like to make sure gravity is working between each step, too. *step* yep, still good *step*

    • @probablyjoeyy
      @probablyjoeyy 4 года назад +7

      Nice

    • @jackleeper6310
      @jackleeper6310 4 года назад +15

      I took it that they analyze and compute complex physics equations with every step to take the most optimal step they can, pretty badass if you ask me

  • @freduardo7499
    @freduardo7499 5 лет назад +4166

    "People in the armed forces, what's the story behind your nickname?"
    "Blackout. I tend to blackout.
    ... needless to say, I didn't stay in the military very long."

  • @genderlesstoast6633
    @genderlesstoast6633 5 лет назад +3201

    "I instinctively analys physics before taking a single step" sooooo is he just bragging about being able to walk normally?

    • @codenamefirestarter7478
      @codenamefirestarter7478 5 лет назад +317

      Worse hes bragging about overthinking walking normally

    • @shinypikagaming
      @shinypikagaming 5 лет назад +138

      Hmm, if I set down my foot with my foot set at a fifteen degree angle, the momentum of my feet will cancel out on the ground allowing me to obtain proper landing speed for my next step.

    • @grellsutcliffe8265
      @grellsutcliffe8265 5 лет назад +6

      O O F

    • @ambersomething1693
      @ambersomething1693 5 лет назад +62

      WizzyDizzyDrawings no he’s bragging about having to think about walking before he takes a single step.
      If he doesn’t plan the step everything will be haywire

    • @genderlesstoast6633
      @genderlesstoast6633 5 лет назад +6

      @@ambersomething1693 same fucking difference tho lol

  • @ilikecapybaras6806
    @ilikecapybaras6806 4 года назад +4730

    “I dont have fragile masculinity! I-I’ll prove it! I’ll beat up women!”

    • @idunnodo1142
      @idunnodo1142 4 года назад +151

      *Y O U A R E P R O V I N G T H E I R P O I N T*

    • @oryanstudios2252
      @oryanstudios2252 4 года назад +162

      god I hope that was satire

    • @genericname8727
      @genericname8727 4 года назад +90

      I’ve seen non-satirical comments like this even if this example was satire. I realise as I type this that that’s pretty obvious considering those are the people being satirised but still..

    • @oryanstudios2252
      @oryanstudios2252 4 года назад +119

      @@genericname8727 to describe that persons tweet, shall we pull another quote from sorrowtv? "Imagine being the exact person a tweet was directed toward and not getting the point"

    • @ashleyyang2510
      @ashleyyang2510 4 года назад +37

      he hit me with that "broad shoulders, very defined, powerful back(deadlift PR of 505 lbs )"

  • @entr3_nou5
    @entr3_nou5 5 лет назад +3057

    “It’s like he was arguing with himself! ...And he was _winning!_ “
    This is such an underrated moment

    • @Overdrive1
      @Overdrive1 5 лет назад +30

      And this is an underrated comment.

    • @Vioioioio
      @Vioioioio 5 лет назад +9

      @@Overdrive1 and this is an underrated comment

    • @Baconator2558
      @Baconator2558 5 лет назад +11

      @@Vioioioio And this is an underrated reply

    • @Vioioioio
      @Vioioioio 5 лет назад +5

      @@Baconator2558 Y E S

    • @Bob-uh7yn
      @Bob-uh7yn 5 лет назад +1

      666 likes

  • @colasap7367
    @colasap7367 4 года назад +940

    "so yeah, ive been majoring in marine biology for a while, what have you been up to jerry"
    *I'M 6'2, 195 IBS, 10% BODY FAT, BROAD SHOULDERS, VERY DEFINED-*
    "uh... Jerry?"
    *POWERFUL BACK, DEAD LIFT OF PR OF 505 IBS, CHEST HAIR-*
    "we lost him again, here lets go to my place guys, he can pay the bill when hes done"
    "so sir, is everything doing okay over here-"
    *man looks directly in waiter's eyes *
    *FULL THICK BEARD, VEINY FOREARMS, PROTRUDING AND DEFINED JAW LINE-*
    *waiter slowly backs away *
    *man stands up, flexes, shirt turns to ash *
    *AND THE MAJORITY OF MY WARDROBE IS MADE UP OF DRESS SHIRTS!*
    "sir im going to have to ask you to leave"
    ...
    ...
    "exuce me?"
    "yes, sir?"
    *I'M 6'2, 195 IBS, 10% BODY FAT-*

    • @bigsmoke5234
      @bigsmoke5234 4 года назад +34

      He sounds like he is selling a car

    • @vibecheck9266
      @vibecheck9266 4 года назад +1

      I read that in Heather Swanson's voics

    • @jayive34
      @jayive34 4 года назад +1

      Is that a Jojo reference?

    • @bigsmoke5234
      @bigsmoke5234 4 года назад +9

      @@jayive34 shut the fuck up
      Please ... shut the fuck up

    • @potatoslayer5963
      @potatoslayer5963 4 года назад +4

      @@bigsmoke5234 no

  • @CherrygroveCity
    @CherrygroveCity 6 лет назад +8034

    r/iamverysmart's jacked and beefy brother

    • @rina7620
      @rina7620 6 лет назад +34

      Dio Drando is that the hit or miss girl

    • @kalebsantos72
      @kalebsantos72 6 лет назад +228

      At the very least he hopes you think he’s jacked

    • @missnintendochick
      @missnintendochick 6 лет назад +140

      the brains and the brawn. truly a battle for the ages

    • @asbestosfish_
      @asbestosfish_ 6 лет назад +56

      Dio Drando
      r/iamverysmart if it was really fucking insecure, you mean.

    • @kNo1bdy
      @kNo1bdy 6 лет назад +81

      R/niceguy is the weird uncle

  • @YetAnotherGeorgeth
    @YetAnotherGeorgeth 4 года назад +796

    “Don’t text Samantha again!” If this is the same Samantha that’s in r/nicegirls then I don’t think ANYONE should text her!

  • @zeromustafa401
    @zeromustafa401 6 лет назад +3519

    The "Do. Not. Mess. With. Me." Kid looks like he goes to Hogwarts in the My Immortal universe.

  • @cumbrap
    @cumbrap 6 лет назад +2169

    Little known fact: quadriplegic people have to tie their legs down to their wheelchairs or else they try to run away and find more suitable hosts.

    • @rarrar9257
      @rarrar9257 6 лет назад +51

      It's the goat!

    • @justinholt7059
      @justinholt7059 6 лет назад +47

      Get out of here nerd

    • @pk2_637
      @pk2_637 6 лет назад +54

      When I read this comment I half-expected to be earraped by the Harry Potter theme.

    • @bababhu5934
      @bababhu5934 6 лет назад

      DIGBY LIKES GIO?!?

    • @KazerOnYoutube
      @KazerOnYoutube 6 лет назад

      He's got a point...

  • @secrfidr
    @secrfidr 6 лет назад +2537

    I THOUGHT THE GUY AT 3:28 WAS TALKING ABOUT BATS THE ANIMAL NOT BATS THE WEAPON I WAS SO CONFUSED

    • @Sam_Markley
      @Sam_Markley 6 лет назад +313

      THAT MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE

    • @snosibsnob3930
      @snosibsnob3930 6 лет назад +283

      Wait HE WASNT TALKING ABOUT THE ANIMAL

    • @julianmarquez7962
      @julianmarquez7962 6 лет назад +153

      I think he might actually be a Batman villain.

    • @emilinebelle7811
      @emilinebelle7811 6 лет назад +126

      Dude. Totally thought he was talking about the night birds until I saw your comment.

    • @poopcatapult2623
      @poopcatapult2623 6 лет назад +21

      Sabine Lesher me too man

  • @papermonkeyminer8116
    @papermonkeyminer8116 4 года назад +1135

    "Strong" people bragging about their bench press /deadlift capacity is like "smart" people bragging about their IQ. They think it's impressive and important, but to the rest of the world it's just numbers that don't mean anything.

    • @lordfelidae4505
      @lordfelidae4505 4 года назад +46

      I do well in school and have managed a few AP classes. I don’t have any idea what my IQ is. Cause it doesn’t matter.

    • @Hypie582
      @Hypie582 4 года назад +43

      @@lordfelidae4505 humble smart people are true smart people.

    • @Hypie582
      @Hypie582 4 года назад +10

      @@lordfelidae4505 so you're smart :D

    • @Paralellex
      @Paralellex 4 года назад +109

      I can dead-lift over 200 IQ points

    • @davidpaul6290
      @davidpaul6290 4 года назад +9

      Eh, that’s not necessarily true. What someone deadlifts is usually a good indicator of how strong they are, IQ isn’t inclusive to, “smarts”.

  • @Slipfox_xyz
    @Slipfox_xyz 5 лет назад +3189

    Lol, about timestamp 4:20, blackout is the nickname given to people who pass out during physical training
    Edit: please stop this isn't what I want to be known for

  • @wildwolfwitch8226
    @wildwolfwitch8226 5 лет назад +2988

    Ya hear that ladies? The mans got MOSTLY DRESS SHIRTS.

  • @TRexRAWWR1
    @TRexRAWWR1 5 лет назад +2098

    if you own a katana and complain about being called a weeb...you're a weeb.
    Edit: I'm a cosplayer, ig I'd be called a weeb too lmao

    • @trashcant1522
      @trashcant1522 5 лет назад +32

      I support this

    • @DeprecatedSC
      @DeprecatedSC 5 лет назад +105

      What about if your dad owned a katana or two, and died and you inherited them?
      Asking for a friend, totally

    • @trashcant1522
      @trashcant1522 5 лет назад +12

      @@DeprecatedSC Why would your dad won a katana?

    • @DeprecatedSC
      @DeprecatedSC 5 лет назад +66

      @@trashcant1522 because he was obbessed with swords, we restricted him to one or two dull ones (so it would be legal) and he got two katana's. They are used as decorations now but they are capable of being used if you sharpened them right. I don't know where the obbession came from, he had it before i was born

    • @trashcant1522
      @trashcant1522 5 лет назад +21

      @@DeprecatedSC Does he complain about being called a weeb?

  • @beeziebubs2756
    @beeziebubs2756 4 года назад +1854

    People who’ve never been in the military pretending to be in the military: They called me BLACK DEATH SKULL back in the day because I have over 300 confirmed kills and will black out while doing it
    People who are actually in the military: They call me macaroni because I’m crazy about Mac n cheese
    Edit: if you’re unaware, if you get a nickname like Red Streak or some other kind of edgy shit, it means everyone in your unit hates your ass. If you get some goody shit, like Dump Truck, it means you’re cool.

    • @beefcakesmchunkerson9079
      @beefcakesmchunkerson9079 4 года назад +326

      My dad’s friend was called SodaPop because he said pop instead of soda

    • @sbeve_helied
      @sbeve_helied 4 года назад +184

      My dad was called exotic cause hes Hawaiian

    • @hogwartsstudent9962
      @hogwartsstudent9962 4 года назад +108

      My dad was called paul lamb because he was invisible

    • @isaacthicccheeks3785
      @isaacthicccheeks3785 4 года назад +174

      Knowledge from my dad before he passed
      Fun Fact: Marine experience, They'd only give privates the nickname blackout when they pass out during physical training, which isn't the most uncommon
      "Wheezer" was also a common one
      - Love "Iron"
      (Got it for losing a bet and having to full-force punch a Level III-A plate, He damn near broke a knuckle)

    • @jorbore1413
      @jorbore1413 4 года назад +166

      My dad was called a corpse because he fucking died.

  • @bLuLi0N
    @bLuLi0N 6 лет назад +294

    I don't think being a 13 year old with horrible acne and a scraggly beard like a 16 year old, who hates being alive and is anxious about the future like a 25 year old is something to brag about

    • @pmc614
      @pmc614 6 лет назад +22

      *_weird flex but okay_*

    • @stankyleg7094
      @stankyleg7094 6 лет назад +13

      Im a kid and I hate when kids try so hard to act older than they are they just look silly and wannabe condescending.

    • @spritziii9185
      @spritziii9185 6 лет назад

      @@stankyleg7094 Look at the newer generations, Girls dress up like Hookers casually walking down the street.

    • @rizwandiawalludien4048
      @rizwandiawalludien4048 6 лет назад +2

      I WAS such kid. I was both this and r/iamverysmart.

    • @CutieNatane
      @CutieNatane 6 лет назад +7

      @@spritziii9185 girls can dress how they want?

  • @tilaNmanx
    @tilaNmanx 6 лет назад +1630

    "Broken metal doors with my skull"
    That explains it

    • @Mark-xw5yt
      @Mark-xw5yt 6 лет назад +9

      Lmfao

    • @waffleauflauf4213
      @waffleauflauf4213 6 лет назад +4

      When Sorrow was reading it, I was secretly hoping the guy would say "broken things with my face" lol

    • @energymischiefbear1001
      @energymischiefbear1001 6 лет назад +31

      I think the brain damage made him flip the words...

    • @omarcasillas6188
      @omarcasillas6188 6 лет назад +3

      Only believable thing in that post considering he thought people would believe it

    • @davebob8506
      @davebob8506 6 лет назад +5

      Oof.

  • @kieranschafer5180
    @kieranschafer5180 6 лет назад +974

    *After you go to the gym once*

    • @yarg.
      @yarg. 6 лет назад +55

      *After you push Timmy off the swing set in the playground*

    • @brendanrisney2449
      @brendanrisney2449 6 лет назад +18

      "Yo, don't fuck with me. I bench 105!"

    • @frosteryoutube1551
      @frosteryoutube1551 6 лет назад +3

      I am the 666th likers lmao

    • @countgrishnackh73
      @countgrishnackh73 5 лет назад +2

      @@brendanrisney2449 "I'll break your tiny arms"

  • @poppokonanachan
    @poppokonanachan 4 года назад +2203

    "I've come to a conclusion, bats don't do shit to me"
    Well, that didn't age well.

    • @PPMN-su7pr
      @PPMN-su7pr 4 года назад +26

      exactly what i thought

    • @karla3153
      @karla3153 4 года назад +27

      *They're going to, now*

    • @kimifw58
      @kimifw58 4 года назад +1

      ?

    • @selinesbeau
      @selinesbeau 4 года назад +8

      I thiught they meant of the baseball variety. Whoosh moment?

    • @bruh......2005
      @bruh......2005 4 года назад +25

      @@kimifw58 covid bruh....

  • @christophergovan2136
    @christophergovan2136 5 лет назад +760

    4:27 “blackout”? My mans out here claiming to be a decepticon

    • @DemiRurge
      @DemiRurge 4 года назад +41

      More like he is trying to sound cool but he doesnt know that there is only one Blackout . The decepticon Blackout

    • @chinotorres8773
      @chinotorres8773 4 года назад +7

      @@DemiRurge Ahh yes

    • @DemiRurge
      @DemiRurge 4 года назад +5

      @@chinotorres8773 so you are big fan of Blackout or you are Blackout

    • @bruhmoment6144
      @bruhmoment6144 4 года назад +47

      Blackout probably just blacks out and punches the wall repeatedly thinking he’s hitting someone while his squad members make dying people noises.

    • @meme_god5075
      @meme_god5075 4 года назад +6

      You better stfu before I call Bumblebee on yo ass

  • @chrystianvalentyne8810
    @chrystianvalentyne8810 5 лет назад +617

    Anybody that uses the term "go full rage mode" has never been in the military.

    • @cramdrg
      @cramdrg 5 лет назад +49

      Yeah they probably just play fucknite or phantom forces and think they're hot shit

    • @alarictheredboi276yearsago4
      @alarictheredboi276yearsago4 5 лет назад +98

      *Stands up for rage mode*
      *Gets shot through chest 5 times*

    • @ibavider
      @ibavider 5 лет назад +34

      TIME TO GO FULL RAGE MODE-
      *Shot 78 times, stabbed 9 times in the skull, hit with a shovel and blown up with a bazooka.*

    • @raaston9761
      @raaston9761 5 лет назад +1

      i use pissed the fuck off when i get really mad

    • @space3817
      @space3817 5 лет назад +3

      @@cramdrg ah I see you try and sound cool by using a word to insult a video game

  • @misterwuss5456
    @misterwuss5456 5 лет назад +735

    R/Madlads are the real badasses, because they truly do not care about anything. They are Madlads for the sake of being madlads

    • @CC.07
      @CC.07 5 лет назад +89

      These people want to be Madlads but are to scared to commit

    • @jaxmorris6563
      @jaxmorris6563 5 лет назад +5

      Mister Wuss right

    • @kodiibearv
      @kodiibearv 5 лет назад +1

      caleb.mp5 on instagram is the truest of madlads

    • @plasmaticlmao
      @plasmaticlmao 5 лет назад +1

      Satan thanks Satan

    • @ghulam237
      @ghulam237 5 лет назад +1

      @@CC.07 they say anything tough and make stories about how strong and cool and or smart they are but their just loud mouthed wusses in real life

  • @tseye2478
    @tseye2478 4 года назад +670

    “I own fighting gloves”
    Any boxer that knows those are handwraps and not fighting gloves: *A N G E R*

  • @I.Fumblebee.I
    @I.Fumblebee.I 6 лет назад +815

    I'm 25, looks 16 and act like a 13 year old.

    • @hl8808
      @hl8808 6 лет назад +13

      The Fumbler same for me but 6 years off each number

    • @ariesstepp763
      @ariesstepp763 6 лет назад +12

      @@hl8808 your 31,look 10, and act 7?

    • @hl8808
      @hl8808 6 лет назад +9

      Aries Stepp 19, look 10, act 7

    • @hl8808
      @hl8808 6 лет назад +2

      Indra Wicaksono no just a really baby face

    • @RedmoonStudiosYT
      @RedmoonStudiosYT 6 лет назад +10

      I'm 29, look anywhere between 1 and 75, and act like a 16 year old edgy girl. Oh wait that's not me, thats the internet

  • @Shrimp_Insurance
    @Shrimp_Insurance 6 лет назад +1199

    I stubbed my toe, while watering my spice garden, and I only cried for 15 minutes

  • @doubleh333lix
    @doubleh333lix 6 лет назад +168

    6:19 I like walking up to Dunkin Donuts to make eye contact with grown men buying donuts so they see me shoveling handfuls of dirt into my open mouth, and screeching barbarically.

    • @darkmaterial499
      @darkmaterial499 6 лет назад +18

      Damn pussies eating and drinking things they like. They should all suffer through things they hate to look tough, like me!

    • @imaboonana2444
      @imaboonana2444 6 лет назад +10

      Ive been laughing at this for 3 hours how have you managed this?

    • @zephyruswild638
      @zephyruswild638 6 лет назад +3

      squishy salamander I'm 9 Subscribe to Pewdiepie

  • @fhagane6821
    @fhagane6821 4 года назад +331

    I had a classmate at college who *ALWAYS* had a story that was far superior to the one the other person was telling. The best part was that many stories contradicted one another (in one story he was trained by a shaolin monk in Asia for years, but at the same time he was the main counselor for an oil businessman at the age of 16), so when we pointed out the contradictions he would go apesh*t and make a new story that overwrote all the previous ones. I miss that guy.

    • @coronavirus1424
      @coronavirus1424 3 года назад +31

      Sounds hella annoying yet fun.

    • @timetraveler_from_2012
      @timetraveler_from_2012 3 года назад +41

      How do you know that he wasn't a shaolin oil buisnessman?

    • @Tony-tp8yz
      @Tony-tp8yz 3 года назад +10

      holy shit that sounds amazing

    • @SStarry_Days
      @SStarry_Days 2 года назад +9

      I would pay to hear all of em

    • @Lucifersfursona
      @Lucifersfursona 2 года назад +9

      As someone who got their shit wrecked in a friendship with a pathological liar, not to rain on this but I uh. I do not miss them.

  • @wolfiemarie9320
    @wolfiemarie9320 6 лет назад +274

    0:40 I ain't wanna see nobody outside my window at three am

  • @huntzkush
    @huntzkush 6 лет назад +576

    "You can try take me down, but it's gonna be harder than puttin lipstick on a pig"
    Yeeehaw

    • @zephyruswild638
      @zephyruswild638 6 лет назад +1

      Huntz Kushe Subscribe to Pewdiepie

    • @smileplease_91
      @smileplease_91 6 лет назад

      I'm southern, and this is more southern than me.

    • @smileplease_91
      @smileplease_91 6 лет назад +1

      @@zephyruswild638 This might be an r/whooosh moment, but WHY am I seeing this everywhere?

    • @kevinm5940
      @kevinm5940 6 лет назад +5

      Kari Solomon I think Pewdiepie is either losing subscribers, or another channel almost has more than him. Either way, he soon won't be the most subbed channel anymore, and his fans want to prevent that, because I guess having the most subscribers is REALLY important for some reason.

    • @smileplease_91
      @smileplease_91 6 лет назад +4

      @@kevinm5940 Thanks for the info! I mean, you can't be the #1 channel forever. And while I think he's a pretty good guy, his content annoys me. Because he's always just shouting jibberish and incoherent ramblings. But that's just me.

  • @jaymoon2377
    @jaymoon2377 6 лет назад +848

    So many of these people remind me of those kids you met freshman year of high school- the ones that liked to lie about just the weirdest shit in an attempt to make themselves better in the weakest ways possible

    • @ThatSwiggityGuy
      @ThatSwiggityGuy 6 лет назад +43

      I once had a friend who claimed he used to live in russia before he got shot in the foot by a thug. He also claimed he arrived to school in a limo on the first day. This was in grade 6 or 7. Good guy though

    • @JuliaMarieH
      @JuliaMarieH 6 лет назад +10

      I know a guy who basically acted like this who was a freshman..... *in college* 🤦🏽‍♀️

    • @jernie9384
      @jernie9384 6 лет назад +5

      Too accurate

    • @loremipsum2237
      @loremipsum2237 6 лет назад +23

      I once fought big foot don't mess with me ugh

    • @v.mvarga4979
      @v.mvarga4979 6 лет назад +25

      When i was a kid, i had a friend who claimed to saw 6 people getting decapitated by some monster in a train railroad and him killing it. Gotta give him props for imagination

  • @ajromero3692
    @ajromero3692 3 года назад +115

    "You do not want to see me outside your window at 3 AM"
    Pretty sure I don't want to see anyone outside my window at 3 AM

    • @RockyPixel
      @RockyPixel 3 года назад +12

      Me too, especially considering I live on the second floor.

    • @louis8487
      @louis8487 3 года назад +5

      What about santie clause :o

  • @ambersomething1693
    @ambersomething1693 5 лет назад +563

    The “future snowflake” one gets me,
    I play ark and I’m often in a pickle where I’m surrounded by big angry dinos and yeah sometimes I cry

    • @Jasonsousvide
      @Jasonsousvide 4 года назад +70

      Stoopid, u don’t even realize the dinosaurs aren’t real. Stoopid dumb stoopid

    • @thewarhawk8203
      @thewarhawk8203 4 года назад +41

      SOMETIMES .
      YOU CRY IN ARK SOMETIMES
      WE HAVE A GOD AMOUNG US MORTALS

    • @ambersomething1693
      @ambersomething1693 4 года назад +26

      the warhawk one time I was backed into a corner by a spino so I just started punching and by the grace of god I lived just to get killed by a dilo

    • @thehorde9462
      @thehorde9462 4 года назад +5

      Gigas or dilos?
      Or both?
      Or maybe add troodons to top it off?

    • @ambersomething1693
      @ambersomething1693 4 года назад +9

      the horde sometimes all of them get me really fucking frustrated. It’s the little ones that are the most frustrating. The ones you SHOULD be able to kill but they gang up

  • @mr.fahrenheit3768
    @mr.fahrenheit3768 5 лет назад +480

    2:42
    There's a lot to unpack here. Okay, first, black widow bites aren't always venomous. Most of the time it's just a warning bite. Second, sucking out venom doesn't do shit, neither does it make you a badass. Third, nowhere does it say that Rue acts as an anti-venom. The most it's really used for is to prevent eye strain, stop muscle spasms, or to prevent menstrual problems.

    • @jacoblamberson2709
      @jacoblamberson2709 4 года назад +75

      This means this is a fusion of r/iamverybadass and r/quityourbullshit

    • @lelikesbugs
      @lelikesbugs 4 года назад +10

      YOU, GOOD SIR/MA'AM/TREETRUNK, ARE BIG BRAINED

    • @Tom-jw7ii
      @Tom-jw7ii 4 года назад +21

      My guess is that her husband just did that to get her to stop panicking, and it obviously worked.

    • @ruki4929
      @ruki4929 4 года назад +16

      @@Tom-jw7ii t h e p o w e r o f p l a c e b o ~

    • @LUR1FAX
      @LUR1FAX 4 года назад +6

      @@jacoblamberson2709 Most "badasses" are bullshitting anyway.

  • @81bnforeal
    @81bnforeal 6 лет назад +961

    Imagine feeling superior over someone because you drink coffee different from them

    • @81bnforeal
      @81bnforeal 6 лет назад +10

      Underscorer this is amazing. Thank you.

    • @atheniansoldier811
      @atheniansoldier811 6 лет назад +6

      No one is superior to one another, everyone is equally to the best human to ever walk the earth. But you might be my favorite.

    • @saber2802
      @saber2802 6 лет назад

      I'd argue queen of the Knuckle Tribes. @Skylynxify Reborn

    • @SenatorArmstrongOfficial
      @SenatorArmstrongOfficial 6 лет назад

      @Skylynxify Reborn If you wanna be the goddess badass of internet, don't drink at all. c:
      (You can also win the Darwin awards !)

    • @SenatorArmstrongOfficial
      @SenatorArmstrongOfficial 6 лет назад +1

      @Skylynxify Reborn It's true, water has health benefits since it keeps you hydrated, but you would lose your badass status...
      Being badass or drink water, you can't have both. :/

  • @Rozkoprit6334
    @Rozkoprit6334 4 года назад +819

    I think i speak for most of the arachnofobics here myself included, when i say, thank you for showing a cute spider instead of an actual black widow.

    • @5urgical
      @5urgical 4 года назад +36

      agreed, i turned the screen the other way when he even MENTIONED spiders, i even find that cute spider to be somewhat threatening.

    • @alexsm3882
      @alexsm3882 4 года назад +14

      I hated that fucking spider all the same

    • @shouko4218
      @shouko4218 4 года назад +19

      I hate all spiders, no matter how “cute” they are. That’s not even a sentence that should exist I’m dying inside

    • @cherby2736
      @cherby2736 4 года назад +7

      spiders are not fucking cute and never will be

    • @1FenFen1
      @1FenFen1 4 года назад +26

      @@cherby2736 and most are harmless. but that doesnt stop them fromlooking scary as shit, though!

  • @justicedaniels3760
    @justicedaniels3760 4 года назад +1114

    "As I sip my black coffee with no cream or sugar"
    As a guy who has only ever drank coffee..who cares?😂 not everyone likes the taste of bitter beans

    • @SaintSC05
      @SaintSC05 4 года назад +2

      @David Tarara Like....cold coffee?

    • @idontevenknow9758
      @idontevenknow9758 4 года назад +55

      I work for an actual coffee company and let me tell you, lots of consumers love milk and coffee or creamer or sugar, whatever they want and most of us drink black coffee for two reasons. One it’s quicker to make in between meetings and two, most of us are actually lactose intolerant or feel uncomfortable after drinking milk so much. You can only drink so much milk with your coffee before you get kind of sick.

    • @theonetruemungdaalgamer725
      @theonetruemungdaalgamer725 4 года назад +41

      Honestly
      I dislike coffee
      But I don't go on about how you should only drink Tea pure and not with milk and sugar. Drink what you want motherfuckers. I don't care.

    • @SaintSC05
      @SaintSC05 4 года назад +1

      @David Tarara No kidding.

    • @matilde_5
      @matilde_5 4 года назад +1

      Grognak The Barbarian
      Well heyo, Grognak.
      You made a good point right there

  • @roxiep.8996
    @roxiep.8996 6 лет назад +412

    I think iamverysmart and iamverybadass are subsets of thathappened

  • @rosoliwet7568
    @rosoliwet7568 6 лет назад +500

    i had a bowl of NAILS for breakfast..... *without any milk.*

    • @whosmaya666
      @whosmaya666 6 лет назад +20

      *gasp*

    • @KrazyKain
      @KrazyKain 6 лет назад +41

      oh yeah? I had my nails WITH milk... and I'm lactose intolerant.

    • @jomo5800
      @jomo5800 6 лет назад +18

      @@KrazyKain Pathetic~! I had a bowl of *bowls and nails* for breakfast with milk past its expiry date!

    • @zephyruswild638
      @zephyruswild638 6 лет назад +2

      rosoliwet Subscribe to Pewdiepie

    • @Peannlui
      @Peannlui 6 лет назад +3

      Metal nails, or fingernails?

  • @bobbierays453
    @bobbierays453 4 года назад +140

    If I was ever given the name “blackout”, it wouldn’t because of me snapping out of reality and going into a full killer mood. I would be called Blackout due to me blacking out from the first few shots of enemy fire.

    • @royalblanket
      @royalblanket 3 года назад +11

      That's basically what the name means, except it's for blacking out during training

    • @SektionEi8ht
      @SektionEi8ht 9 месяцев назад +2

      That’s military nicknames/callsigns for you. No one gets a cool one, and even if you do, it’s because the story behind it is super embarrassing.
      I never actually got into the military, but in ROTC my nickname was “Sparta” because of an embarrassing 30-second rant about how much I hated the movie 300.
      Your nickname or callsign is always dumb. No exceptions.

  • @Integer_Overload
    @Integer_Overload 5 лет назад +319

    3:58 that's just an Anime villain monologing right before the protagonist punches him through a wall 😂

    • @ascendedcat260
      @ascendedcat260 5 лет назад +42

      While the side protagonists just stand there with a sweat drip on their head

    • @Integer_Overload
      @Integer_Overload 5 лет назад +3

      a s c e n d e d c a t yep xD

    • @rezandrarizkyirianto-1933
      @rezandrarizkyirianto-1933 4 года назад +2

      I think that's a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde thing, but idk

    • @sausagepizza2195
      @sausagepizza2195 4 года назад

      Couldn't you have put fooking 3:11?

    • @sausagepizza2195
      @sausagepizza2195 4 года назад

      Or are you talking about the blackout? Idk awkward placement

  • @Bub383
    @Bub383 5 лет назад +590

    I like to think the guy with 'your next' on this knuckles has 'best friend' tattooed on his palms

    • @zyaicob
      @zyaicob 5 лет назад +50

      This makes me very happy

    • @magiconic
      @magiconic 5 лет назад +45

      And two halves of a heart on his forearms.

    • @elijahmuller5041
      @elijahmuller5041 5 лет назад +27

      And the names of his dogs inside of that heart

    • @button465
      @button465 5 лет назад +4

      *s l a p*

    • @CC.07
      @CC.07 5 лет назад +4

      Yay

  • @francogiobbimontesanti3826
    @francogiobbimontesanti3826 6 лет назад +361

    I bet Samantha’s boyfriend was just Samantha trying not to get the next shift.

    • @linkadoodle9568
      @linkadoodle9568 6 лет назад +36

      Well if you rearrange the letters in Samantha you get Thas a man, so it's probably Samantha

    • @android19willpwn
      @android19willpwn 6 лет назад

      And Griff avoids laundry duty for another day...

    • @21minute
      @21minute 3 года назад +2

      @@linkadoodle9568 Is that a Gumball reference? Lol

    • @viviansmiley2
      @viviansmiley2 Год назад +3

      Plot twist, it’s the same Samantha from the niceguy series. She just found a “tough” whiteknight.

  • @angrytheclown801
    @angrytheclown801 4 года назад +129

    "They call me Blackout!"
    "Oh awesome name! How'd you get it?"
    "...I got blackout drunk off my ass in a strip club, started a fight with the bouncer but punched myself more than I punched the bouncer, got kicked out without a ride. Then passed out in a pig farm. Or at least that's what the drill sergeant told me when he dragged me back to base."
    ".....Ohhhhhhh."

  • @jokunortti
    @jokunortti 6 лет назад +720

    "Oh I'm so tough I can drink my coffee without making it taste good."

    • @sgtmjames
      @sgtmjames 6 лет назад +48

      he definitely shouldn't brag about muh "manly coffee" but black coffee actually tastes good.

    • @jokunortti
      @jokunortti 6 лет назад +3

      @@sgtmjames Yeah, actually I drink my coffee black too. I don't like milk or sugar in coffee at all.

    • @BiratesoftheCaribbean
      @BiratesoftheCaribbean 6 лет назад +16

      I can relate to people not adding anything to their coffee. I don't like coffee if it doesn't have milk and a lot of sugar, Caramel Frappuccinos are my fav, but if you give me tea that's remotely sweet, I won't drink it. It's just habits, we all like thibgs differently, no should think they're superior for their tastes.

    • @azse8524
      @azse8524 6 лет назад +32

      Well I’m so tough I don’t even drink coffee, take that ya potato salad.

    • @_____._..--_
      @_____._..--_ 6 лет назад

      Im so tough i drink coffee when I was 8

  • @evilpixieofdoom
    @evilpixieofdoom 6 лет назад +412

    I was very confused about the guy who said bats don't do shit to him... I thought he meant the animal. Like, of course they don't do shit to you they're adorable sky puppies!

    • @BlackBirdSweep
      @BlackBirdSweep 6 лет назад +74

      I thought he meant the animal until just now.

    • @Freshdweeb
      @Freshdweeb 6 лет назад +10

      i mean bats will def piss on you tho

    • @JoelRiter
      @JoelRiter 6 лет назад +38

      Holy shit. Sky puppies. HOW HAS NO ONE CALLED BATS THIS BEFORE? ADORABLE SKY PUPPIES ARE THEIR NEW NAME.

    • @soulsaversaras.r.s3956
      @soulsaversaras.r.s3956 6 лет назад +27

      I ALSO THOUGHT HE MEANT THE ANIMAL
      I only realized I was wrong when I read your comment

    • @chriscode6431
      @chriscode6431 6 лет назад +4

      They are adorable sky puppies.

  • @aurea.
    @aurea. 6 лет назад +828

    Imagine having such a life that you go to Starbucks specifically to stare down other men who (gasp) order anything other than a black coffee...

    • @annie4150
      @annie4150 6 лет назад +134

      Imagine going to Starbucks just to order a black coffee

    • @vladimiradidas1945
      @vladimiradidas1945 6 лет назад +69

      scumbug *this post was made by the frapochino gang*

    • @MooVeeMan
      @MooVeeMan 6 лет назад +26

      If it's any consolation, there's no chance he actually does that.

    • @aurea.
      @aurea. 6 лет назад +4

      @drumlip For his sake and that of non-black coffee drinkers, I sure hope he doesn't.

    • @zephyruswild638
      @zephyruswild638 6 лет назад +7

      Martha G. Subscribe to Pewdiepie

  • @JamesTheAce0
    @JamesTheAce0 4 года назад +115

    "We're talking about a guy that punches doors" my man we talking about Minecraft steve

  • @horseradish877
    @horseradish877 6 лет назад +492

    "How tough am I? I had a bowl of NAILS for breakfast this morning!"
    "Yeah so?"
    "Without any MILK."

    • @imprxvised8219
      @imprxvised8219 6 лет назад +18

      I'd stay as far away from you as possible. You'd probably flick me with your finger and break 80% of the bones in my body

    • @oogabooga620
      @oogabooga620 6 лет назад +12

      Real interation
      Me: I'll take a milk in a dirty glass
      Don't cross me 😤🍑🍆🤛🦁

    • @goldengifts3830
      @goldengifts3830 6 лет назад

      Real tough gut here!

    • @zakl940
      @zakl940 6 лет назад +7

      " how tough am i? I had a piece of metal instead of toast this morning" " yeah so" "without any butter!!!!"

    • @tuesdaytue
      @tuesdaytue 6 лет назад +4

      @DrKlRd you're the most badass here yet

  • @wardedthorn6523
    @wardedthorn6523 6 лет назад +302

    "I'm a paid hitman, so I tell everyone about this on Facebook, also, I aparently have nothing to hide."
    -no hitman who wants to get paid or stay out of prison

    • @DapperestDave
      @DapperestDave 6 лет назад +1

      Tierzoo spiders tier list shows that the black widow is a faker

    • @patrikg.6320
      @patrikg.6320 6 лет назад +6

      No hitman ever would tell to anyone he is a hitman :D I swear some of these people are being dumb

    • @wardedthorn6523
      @wardedthorn6523 6 лет назад

      @@patrikg.6320 Well, yeah...

    • @patrikg.6320
      @patrikg.6320 6 лет назад

      @D Zuke Or you know, get gunned down by the person they tried to kill.

    • @Aconitum_napellus
      @Aconitum_napellus 6 лет назад +1

      'I'm a hitman, I just haven't got paid yet, or hired, or graduated High school.

  • @nmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmn
    @nmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmn 6 лет назад +184

    ~ 3:40 I feel so stupid, I thought he meant the animal bats... n I was like "wait why would bats do anything to him? when do you ever come into contact with bats and since when do people think they're really dangerous? pls esplaineee" took me a solid 3 minutes to understand that he hadn't come to the conclusion that bats can't do shit to him... I thought he had overcome his fear of bats or something.
    (edit) the army guy after that... I thought he meant that he just passes out in combat. sometimes I don't understand my own thougt process

    • @kittengurl220
      @kittengurl220 6 лет назад +7

      lowkeywidowmain butiactuallysucktho
      I just now realized thanks to you that he did not mean the animal either...like hello is this discount Batman 😂

    • @S0ulGh0st
      @S0ulGh0st 6 лет назад

      Welcome aboard! I thought the same in both cases.

    • @katyameowmeow
      @katyameowmeow 6 лет назад +1

      Flower Pot a bat as in a baseball bat is also literal. both meanings are literal

    • @maddythelion
      @maddythelion 6 лет назад

      Totally thought he meant the animals too. Giving poor little bats a bad name! :(

    • @cassandrastillman8796
      @cassandrastillman8796 6 лет назад +1

      I thought he means the animal as well, but I didn't question anything...

  • @ObligatoryBook
    @ObligatoryBook 4 года назад +368

    Yes, let’s define “Otaku” vs “Weeaboo”
    *Otaku* : Sort of like a more derivative version of ‘geek’. Someone who has an extreme interest in nonfictional or fictional entertainment, such as anime, manga, pop stars, etc. They are know to be lazy as well as being very poor in social scenarios. Generally looked down upon in Japanese culture.
    *Weeaboo* : A westerner who believes the Japanese lifestyle to be a superior way of living, and follows it as if it were their own countries culture. However, they are often very similar to Otaku as they focus on the parts of the Japanese culture that has made it across seas, most common of which would be anime, manga, traditional Japanese weaponry, etc.
    So, just to put this in perspective, this person is admitting to being the bad one of the two. He’s also likely both.

    • @zyaicob
      @zyaicob 4 года назад +76

      Knowing the difference between Otaku and Weaboo is the most weeb shit ever

    • @liamanderson7082
      @liamanderson7082 4 года назад +34

      Weebs are basically Otakus who make complete and utter asses of themselves.
      Like, just kinda being a fan of a certain anime, could probably care less. It's when we see pics of people posing with lewd dakimakuras that issues arise.

    • @kimifw58
      @kimifw58 4 года назад +7

      How is being lazy worse than trashing your own culture?

    • @hinamiravenroot7162
      @hinamiravenroot7162 4 года назад +6

      Isnt Otaku basicly "basement dweller" in japanese?

    • @olgierdvoneverec4135
      @olgierdvoneverec4135 4 года назад +34

      @@hinamiravenroot7162 otaku could be literally be translated as obsessed, fanatic or nerd, basically it can be said of someone who is very passionate of something, you can be a fighting otaku, an exercise otaku, a fishing otaku, a maths otaku, cars otaku, whatever. outside of japan it is used specifically for anime fans, the term you are thinking of is hikikomori.

  • @Xolaeth
    @Xolaeth 6 лет назад +697

    You want to know how badass I am? I returned rental VHS tapes without rewinding them.

  • @DylanDude
    @DylanDude 6 лет назад +1149

    7:45 Her: _"You are subordinate to me!"_
    Government: _"It's that time of year, please give us your money."_
    Her: _"Right, here."_

    • @lShadow426l
      @lShadow426l 6 лет назад +75

      To be fair you are supposed to pay your subordinates.

    • @DylanDude
      @DylanDude 6 лет назад +52

      They're not normally the ones who decide how much, however.

    • @John-doe955
      @John-doe955 6 лет назад +5

      Shadow426 lol

    • @John-doe955
      @John-doe955 6 лет назад +4

      DylanDude lol, also true

    • @John-doe955
      @John-doe955 6 лет назад +25

      Anyone else get the feeling that that girl has never actually fired a gun, or that the guns she’s holding is actually just a BB gun?

  • @benjatatafasa3105
    @benjatatafasa3105 6 лет назад +681

    3:12 "bats don't do shit to me"
    Bats are, like, mice with big noses and paper-thin wings.
    They eat insects.
    What kind of "badass" needs to point out that BATS can't hurt them?

    • @CseniK
      @CseniK 6 лет назад +58

      Maybe he meant Dracula 🤔

    • @MrGargamel1198
      @MrGargamel1198 6 лет назад +94

      Baseball bats? They do have big wings

    • @teasipper9061
      @teasipper9061 6 лет назад +100

      @@MrGargamel1198 Don't you mean big swings?

    • @MrGargamel1198
      @MrGargamel1198 6 лет назад +41

      @@teasipper9061 oohh shiiiiiiit

    • @benmcbride4791
      @benmcbride4791 6 лет назад +5

      @EmberMist OOOOOOOHH THAT'S WHAT HE MEANT!!!!

  • @SOB98
    @SOB98 4 года назад +110

    Imagine the pathetic dudes who wrote this stuff seeing this video and just punching a door repeatedly in anger...

    • @Ender41948
      @Ender41948 4 года назад +16

      And then imagine them breaking their hands cuz it's a fucking DOOR.

    • @jacobc8036
      @jacobc8036 3 года назад +8

      I can imagine them doing that than when they scratch there knuckles they cry "MOOOOOOOOM"!

    • @screamindog8772
      @screamindog8772 3 года назад +4

      “I won’t go to the doctor, though, because they wear masks and are SHEEP.”

    • @percyap4271
      @percyap4271 3 года назад

      Imagine the door abuse

    • @ProfessorxVile
      @ProfessorxVile 2 года назад +1

      That's what happens when their moms won't bring their tendies into their stank dungeons so they're forced to go to the kitchen and get them... the inner demens are unleashed.

  • @acommonbagel2936
    @acommonbagel2936 6 лет назад +1564

    According to Sorrow, "you're" is spelled "your'e"

    • @DragonAurora
      @DragonAurora 6 лет назад +65

      Nice catch!

    • @Chartreugz
      @Chartreugz 6 лет назад +117

      Maybe if he tattoos an apostrophe on the tip of his thumb and an E on his thumb's knuckle... and then sticks his thumb between his index and middle finger? God that would look dumb...

    • @potato_salad9346
      @potato_salad9346 6 лет назад +26

      Still better than your

    • @acommonbagel2936
      @acommonbagel2936 6 лет назад +14

      @@Chartreugz I stand corrected. That's pretty clever 😂

    • @mrerri2363
      @mrerri2363 6 лет назад +2

      I also noticed that lmfao, I was like something ain’t right lol

  • @zehelzess
    @zehelzess 6 лет назад +1255

    That courage the cowardly dog ending tho.
    “Things I do for love.”
    - Courage

    • @ijustimagineit
      @ijustimagineit 6 лет назад +32

      Now if only Courage the Cowardly Dog would come back on TV....

    • @tacticalhaven
      @tacticalhaven 6 лет назад +13

      Love that show

    • @toast4951
      @toast4951 6 лет назад +10

      Zess Zehel OOOUUUAHHH AHHH HAHHHH AHHHHHH

    • @nodezsh
      @nodezsh 6 лет назад +3

      @@ijustimagineit Have we learned nothing these last years? PPG? Daria? Teen Titans?
      You do NOT want it to come back right now. Unless it sets a precedent of course, then by all means.

    • @RinLockhart
      @RinLockhart 6 лет назад

      @@nodezsh wait, Daria??

  • @joshuapemberton5017
    @joshuapemberton5017 6 лет назад +378

    3:11
    -Isn’t afraid of bats
    - Indestructible
    -Super strength
    Did Superman make a Facebook account?

    • @sharkassassin4121
      @sharkassassin4121 6 лет назад +20

      I don't know but something tells me he's lying

    • @MURFGAMING1228
      @MURFGAMING1228 6 лет назад +11

      I think it was meant to mean he isn't harmed by baseball bats, which is total bull shit.

    • @saucecontroller
      @saucecontroller 6 лет назад +6

      No, it was a vampire.
      Pffffffft.
      Amateur.

    • @MURFGAMING1228
      @MURFGAMING1228 6 лет назад +5

      @@saucecontroller That makes so much more sense now. Wonder if he combusts or sparkles. It doesn't matter either way, he hasn't seen the sunlight in years.

    • @maj_maas
      @maj_maas 5 лет назад +2

      Superbat*

  • @moonpai3668
    @moonpai3668 4 года назад +251

    Bruh, even the most bad ass people I’ve met won’t drink straight black coffee. It’s preference??

    • @meme_god5075
      @meme_god5075 4 года назад +5

      I bet he scares even Batman

    • @grenadehyena2468
      @grenadehyena2468 4 года назад +1

      psh i drank black coffee at two years old

    • @alexsm3882
      @alexsm3882 4 года назад

      Black coffee tastes good though.

    • @princezuko9430
      @princezuko9430 4 года назад +10

      Grenade_Hyena X003 you belong in this subreddit

    • @AuDHDarling
      @AuDHDarling 4 года назад

      False. My mom drinks her coffee black and she is a BAMF.

  • @Landho713
    @Landho713 6 лет назад +170

    How much you can dead lift is like the iamverybadass version of IQ

  • @socialus5689
    @socialus5689 6 лет назад +522

    This is the definition of sadness.

    • @Sunflower-io4dg
      @Sunflower-io4dg 6 лет назад +6

      *total badass

    • @mccreeper03
      @mccreeper03 6 лет назад +12

      *sadass

    • @charl4478
      @charl4478 6 лет назад +1

      Universe Saladass

    • @justanotherhobbit7215
      @justanotherhobbit7215 6 лет назад

      Correction ; This is the definition of cringe.

    • @socialus5689
      @socialus5689 6 лет назад

      @@justanotherhobbit7215 Well, cringe somewhat falls into the sadness category since they're blatantly lying about how insanely badass they are.

  • @OGBeefStew
    @OGBeefStew 6 лет назад +884

    I am very badass because I have over 4000 hours in Bookworm Adventures Deluxe.

    • @Tomvadie
      @Tomvadie 6 лет назад +48

      How many more channels are you gonna invade?

    • @bauhausa6933
      @bauhausa6933 6 лет назад +23

      Oof the legend himself!

    • @J-D03
      @J-D03 6 лет назад +24

      Justin Y. but likes Bookworm Adventures Deluxw.

    • @Sir_Steven
      @Sir_Steven 6 лет назад +7

      Are you seriously just going around popular RUclips channels to make comments about Bookworm Adventures Deluxe and use bots to like your comments?
      Why?

    • @jackmaclellan5316
      @jackmaclellan5316 6 лет назад +25

      @@Sir_Steven probably not bots dude, probably dunkey fans

  • @jean-pierresmyth742
    @jean-pierresmyth742 4 года назад +59

    "These fingers have been trained to... *heavily* apply eye-liner oh my god"

  • @earthtokiwi8934
    @earthtokiwi8934 6 лет назад +116

    4:09 I can promise you, 90% of army nicknames don't have a badass back story, they're just really weird 9th grade level humor nicknames, as the daughter of a army veteran, my dad's best friend's nickname is limpy, y'all can take a guess why

    • @godsthirdsonchris2555
      @godsthirdsonchris2555 6 лет назад +30

      Tank destroyer, for destroying friendly tanks. That's amazing

    • @0keimchi
      @0keimchi 6 лет назад +6

      EarthTo Kiwi Drill sergeant occasionally called my entire battery garbage.

    • @WelloBello
      @WelloBello 6 лет назад +4

      Russ Olson
      Fartknockers?
      How much trouble would you be in for laughing at that?

    • @themesteriousdude
      @themesteriousdude 6 лет назад +1

      @Russ Olson the hell even is a fartknocker? Could you still ask him? Please! I'm dying to know!

    • @helvi9319
      @helvi9319 6 лет назад +2

      Russ Olson i like u no homo.

  • @anone.mousse674
    @anone.mousse674 6 лет назад +150

    We’re talking about a guy that punches doors.

  • @edgarnello9165
    @edgarnello9165 5 лет назад +433

    Im so bad ass that i get on wikipedia skip their cry for donations and dont even feel sorry fo them.

    • @Esitaro3670
      @Esitaro3670 5 лет назад +27

      You deserve to be sent to jail!

    • @elijahmuller5041
      @elijahmuller5041 5 лет назад +29

      You belong in the shadow realm

    • @pancakeshiza4373
      @pancakeshiza4373 5 лет назад +16

      You should be thrown in the nether

    • @tailsfoxboy
      @tailsfoxboy 5 лет назад +11

      Your profile picture compliments your comment perfectly, all you need is an edgier username.

    • @kevinvetter2518
      @kevinvetter2518 5 лет назад +4

      YOU CAN DONATE TO WIKIPEDIA?!?!?!?!

  • @alchemist00157
    @alchemist00157 3 года назад +26

    This message is for sorrow tv. Please be well. Know that people out there still watch your videos and still hope the best for you. Whatever your doing I hope it gives you a positive sence of well being.

  • @joxlz7231
    @joxlz7231 6 лет назад +157

    “We're talking about a guy that punches doors.”

    • @sinzo6593
      @sinzo6593 6 лет назад +3

      "We're talking about a Trial Captain who's most likely gay..."

    • @HolyEmpresse
      @HolyEmpresse 6 лет назад

      World's Biggest Booty Hoes was that a rick and morty joke-

  • @soapie-
    @soapie- 5 лет назад +543

    We are tallkin about a guy who slobbers hogs.

    • @nightcollapse
      @nightcollapse 5 лет назад +1

      I love your pfp

    • @ambersomething1693
      @ambersomething1693 5 лет назад +14

      mynte we don’t Stan slobbering hogs,
      But slobbing on knobs!

    • @francesatty7022
      @francesatty7022 5 лет назад +8

      this guy slobbers 30-50 feral hogs before they run across his yard

    • @jacoblamberson2709
      @jacoblamberson2709 5 лет назад +1

      @@francesatty7022 oh wow lol

    • @andromalius8890
      @andromalius8890 5 лет назад +7

      ‘Can I slobber your hog?’ Is going to be my new grindr tagline

  • @influencerzwerg
    @influencerzwerg 6 лет назад +423

    Mostly dress shirts?!
    Someone lock him up

    • @nickm2046
      @nickm2046 6 лет назад +4

      Absolute mad lad

    • @raptorjesus6120
      @raptorjesus6120 6 лет назад +1

      upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e0/Joris_Vekemans_-_de_Vos.jpg
      Mostly dress shirts and ruffles.

    • @AnthonyGarcia-yy6pd
      @AnthonyGarcia-yy6pd 6 лет назад +2

      Quick hide your girl!!

  • @ovvvven
    @ovvvven 3 года назад +16

    How to know you’re talking to one of these guys:
    1. They mention how much they can lift.
    2. They say that they will fight you.
    3. They are racist, sexist, or misogynistic.

    • @aaronhackettfilm
      @aaronhackettfilm 3 года назад +3

      for number 3, more often than not they're all three!

  • @macoy3943
    @macoy3943 6 лет назад +84

    3:20 I was so confused by “bats don’t do anything to me.” Then I realized he meant a baseball bat.

    • @tylertownsley8279
      @tylertownsley8279 6 лет назад +10

      Macoy Greco I didn’t realize that until I saw your comment haha

    • @thecheese4255
      @thecheese4255 6 лет назад +2

      Macoy Greco
      Ha!
      I didn’t give that a second thought, but I assumed the small, flying mammal
      Thanks for clearing up the ramblings of a badass!

    • @sanghelian
      @sanghelian 6 лет назад

      Umm maybe he was just explaining he's not batman

    • @thecheese4255
      @thecheese4255 6 лет назад

      Niko Virta
      He may have leprosy...

    • @dudenega1424
      @dudenega1424 6 лет назад

      @@tylertownsley8279 ditto

  • @adrienfourniercom
    @adrienfourniercom 6 лет назад +251

    "I could swim in this
    . ] And live.
    And never die
    And you all would die
    if you
    . ] swimmed in it
    But I swimmed it in
    . ] Right now!
    And I was living
    And you were dying
    And I was alive
    ... And you died."
    So beautiful.

    • @ssjale.
      @ssjale. 6 лет назад +23

      Hes speaking the language of the gods

    • @sebastianbarrios2177
      @sebastianbarrios2177 6 лет назад +3

      But what I want to know is where is the cave man?

    • @rorygiambalvo2955
      @rorygiambalvo2955 6 лет назад +9

      Early draft of the portal ending song

    • @Hulkzilla0
      @Hulkzilla0 6 лет назад +1

      So poetic, it could be an epic that was lost to time.

    • @axrye800
      @axrye800 6 лет назад +4

      Eminem's disses are so lyrically complex I swear to god.

  • @limewatt
    @limewatt 5 лет назад +925

    “i was hoping that his thumb had an apostrophe e”
    your’e next

    • @pleasepoo1827
      @pleasepoo1827 5 лет назад +21

      R/iamverysmart

    • @ikrena4701
      @ikrena4701 5 лет назад +36

      @@pleasepoo1827 I am highly sure that does not count

    • @JL-ot1kg
      @JL-ot1kg 5 лет назад +13

      Apostrophe e
      'e dumbass

    • @JL-ot1kg
      @JL-ot1kg 5 лет назад +18

      Wait, im sorry, plesse accept my apology

    • @theboos5852
      @theboos5852 5 лет назад +12

      I have an incredibly small dick but this statement is true
      My penis is small

  • @erickr.batista6400
    @erickr.batista6400 4 года назад +70

    11:30 Ladies and Gentlemen, the worlds most fragile masculinity.

  • @goompo
    @goompo 5 лет назад +92

    4:06
    "Blackout."
    "I once overloaded the circuit breaker in my quarters after trying to watch my Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World DVD on my DVD player and TV... that I smuggled in."

  • @redgle862
    @redgle862 6 лет назад +105

    7:11 OH GOD!...
    SAMANTHA'S BACK AND HER BOYFRIEND'S AN R/IAMVERYBADASS!!
    Who knew an r/nicegirl would make a perfect pair with an r/iamverybadass..
    Edit: Damn I didn't know I'd get this many likes.. Wish I had as many subs 😂😂

    • @olivebranch7769
      @olivebranch7769 6 лет назад +2

      They're both so desperate for approval, they can just give it to eachother.

  • @4shi10
    @4shi10 6 лет назад +803

    I used a anime profile picture on a no anime discord server.

  • @brittneystreeter493
    @brittneystreeter493 3 года назад +33

    I miss you SorrowTV!! I hope you’re doing well and taking care of yourself!

  • @michaellee5504
    @michaellee5504 5 лет назад +157

    can we take a moment of silence to acknowledge the real badass who managed to screenshot a comment on a live stream with 120k people that could've easily been missed?

    • @yellowjacketgamer2682
      @yellowjacketgamer2682 5 лет назад +10

      Michael Lee not only can you slow down the chat, you can also pause the chat and go back to his comment, and I doesn’t have to be live, it can be an old livestream but still have the counter.

  • @fbi9711
    @fbi9711 6 лет назад +811

    No swearing on my Christian server please

    • @idoganor100
      @idoganor100 6 лет назад +37

      Heck.

    • @LittleMissMadeline
      @LittleMissMadeline 6 лет назад +29

      Ido Ganor FBI: stay right where you fucking are

    • @ayyyyyyy2417
      @ayyyyyyy2417 6 лет назад +15

      Holy frick they found me

    • @WestJettLandlord
      @WestJettLandlord 6 лет назад +1

      Who wants to have sex with me on my race car bed while my dad coaches me.

    • @hue_lord_4208
      @hue_lord_4208 6 лет назад

      you got the whole fbi arrested at one point mr "good christian channel"

  • @mgnsleon44
    @mgnsleon44 5 лет назад +181

    If another man tells you that he'll slobber your hog during a fight, just run.

    • @somescrub885
      @somescrub885 5 лет назад +30

      Even if you're into that sort of thing, you don't want anyone that unstable close enough to your hog to slobber on it.

    • @cantbefucked49
      @cantbefucked49 5 лет назад +18

      Idk that's kinda hot

    • @ReiAnikaAyanami
      @ReiAnikaAyanami 5 лет назад +12

      @@somescrub885 the danger is what makes it hotter and more thrilling

    • @diannebassett1313
      @diannebassett1313 5 лет назад +10

      Or invite him for coffee later that week.

    • @MariaTex3
      @MariaTex3 4 года назад +5

      "I'll slobber your hog so good! Jk jk...unless?"

  • @burpaleese
    @burpaleese 4 года назад +13

    I like how everytime punching doors comes up, he's just gonna be like "we're talking about a guy that punches doors"

  • @atomicdancer
    @atomicdancer 6 лет назад +556

    I went to give blood the other day (yeah I wanted to help others no biggie) but the nurse said my blood was too strong and that normal people wouldn't be able to handle it. She suggested I donate some blood to the Navy SEALS, because they're the only people that could handle the potency and power of my blood. I told her I drink my coffee black and my bench is 315 and deadlift is 405. I could tell she was impressed.

  • @TheFrekledGinge
    @TheFrekledGinge 5 лет назад +575

    I feel like the slogan for this subreddit is “where talking about a guy that punches doors”.

    • @ibavider
      @ibavider 5 лет назад +5

      yes. YES. *YES.*

    • @justsomealligatorwithinter2115
      @justsomealligatorwithinter2115 4 года назад +39

      We're* sorry it just bothers me

    • @chipskylark5500
      @chipskylark5500 4 года назад +15

      @@justsomealligatorwithinter2115 no, I agree. I came here to say the same thing. I couldnt tell if he meant we're, or "where we talk about xx"

    • @oryanstudios2252
      @oryanstudios2252 4 года назад +3

      While wearing mostly dress shirts

    • @a.s.d.p214
      @a.s.d.p214 4 года назад +5

      @@ibavider did you reach orgasm yet or are you still struggling?

  • @elliotgonzalez4551
    @elliotgonzalez4551 6 лет назад +353

    "Slobbing your hog you wouldn't know what hit ya." ....Bruh I don't think that means what you think that means

    • @lillyjean2391
      @lillyjean2391 6 лет назад +39

      Elliot Gonzalez “I will kiss you softly. Don’t mess with me” 😤😤😤😤

    • @mopbuckets4734
      @mopbuckets4734 5 лет назад

      damn bruh. 😂😂

  • @quarth9396
    @quarth9396 4 года назад +24

    "don't text samantha again"
    oh its fine, i blocked her after what happened last time. she's also reddit famous, search up r/nicegirls

  • @LouAfterHours
    @LouAfterHours 6 лет назад +206

    Alternate title: We're talkin about a guy that punches doors

  • @kazj4908
    @kazj4908 6 лет назад +120

    Just FYI I'm 5'11", 98 lbs, 0% body fat, tiny shoulders, nothing to define, skinny back (deadlift PR of maybe 120 lbs), leg hair, some minor stubble, arms, a functional jaw, and the majority of my wardrobe is made up of t-shirts.
    I'm pretty sure I'd lose to a mannequin in a fight.

    • @tilaNmanx
      @tilaNmanx 6 лет назад +12

      You had me at functional jaw.

    • @Scarfysmom
      @Scarfysmom 6 лет назад

      Sounds like my ex. Only he thought he could win against a mannequin. I shoulda left when he started hitting me.

    • @acrevamp7904
      @acrevamp7904 6 лет назад

      @Maximus 8414 r/woooosh

    • @imthatone3758
      @imthatone3758 6 лет назад +1

      I wish I had arms

    • @BeepyBeepus
      @BeepyBeepus 6 лет назад

      You're pretty lean bro

  • @kittykat5797
    @kittykat5797 6 лет назад +172

    "Bats don't do shit to me". I literally understood that as the animal. I was very confused.

  • @jjcoolableful
    @jjcoolableful 4 года назад +6

    You gave me huge nostalgic chills listening to that outro music.
    Courage the Cowardly Dog was one of my favourite shows as a kid.
    Thanks and keep up the good work!

  • @ScaredyPoots
    @ScaredyPoots 6 лет назад +120

    You know you watch Sorrow TV too much when you can’t tell if the outro song is the real Courage the Cowardly dog theme or if it’s a Sorrow TV cover

    • @turidrowned
      @turidrowned 6 лет назад +1

      Amanda N
      Eustace sounds too accurate, has to be original.

    • @ScaredyPoots
      @ScaredyPoots 6 лет назад

      Turi Drowned True

  • @uforad170
    @uforad170 6 лет назад +93

    I live on the 26th floor, I don't wanna see anyone outside my window at any time, 3 AM or otherwise.

    • @Soitisisit
      @Soitisisit 6 лет назад +11

      Would be an interesting day at least?
      Also, what about Pablo, the window cleaner? He'd be alright, right?

    • @harveyb9785
      @harveyb9785 6 лет назад +6

      What if I quickly fall past your window

    • @uforad170
      @uforad170 6 лет назад

      @@harveyb9785 oh dear.

    • @pommelbobble68.9
      @pommelbobble68.9 6 лет назад

      @@uforad170 what if the window cleaner doesn't want to get fired?

    • @uforad170
      @uforad170 6 лет назад

      @@pommelbobble68.9 ive never actually seen a window cleaner outside my window but thats a fair point i guess

  • @princenicholas2730
    @princenicholas2730 5 лет назад +267

    Dear Justin from Satan we just finished the new cringe sublevel for you

    • @CC.07
      @CC.07 5 лет назад +38

      It’s still in development

    • @jaxmorris6563
      @jaxmorris6563 5 лет назад +1

      Satan. To hell with u noice

    • @God-ch8lq
      @God-ch8lq 5 лет назад +4

      @@CC.07 need help with construction, pardner

    • @ShermTank7272
      @ShermTank7272 5 лет назад +6

      Cringe is the secret 10th circle.
      Vergil didn’t show it to Dante since the world wasn’t ready to know about it back then.

    • @DioBrando-yk5up
      @DioBrando-yk5up 5 лет назад

      Satan I got a shovel you want it

  • @eHammy1339
    @eHammy1339 4 года назад +13

    0:39 no one wants to see someone at 3 in the morning outside their window

    • @potaterjim
      @potaterjim 4 года назад

      Let alone a creepy tweaker looking guy like that

  • @carryeveryday910
    @carryeveryday910 6 лет назад +104

    I am 24. Granted I look 18 and act 5 I am 24.

  • @indridcold6249
    @indridcold6249 5 лет назад +127

    These people ain’t badass, I ripped a metal chair in half once and threw it all the way to the moon and when it got there it made a new crater that was named after me. Nice try

    • @sawyer3818
      @sawyer3818 4 года назад

      Jiminy Cricket i mean i do own a katana, but a gay weeb could never be considered badass

    • @MKHailGaming
      @MKHailGaming 4 года назад

      qdqdqipbpbp people think that just cause they have a katana they can use it, I can’t , but still

    • @jesterpez67
      @jesterpez67 4 года назад

      I cant tell if you're being sarcastic, but still laughed

    • @ibavider
      @ibavider 4 года назад

      You mean the Indrid Cold crater? I live there!

    • @finmueller7827
      @finmueller7827 4 года назад

      @@ibavider yo you too? I thought I was the only one

  • @somniato7759
    @somniato7759 5 лет назад +279

    That doesn’t spell “Your next”
    That spells, “yo, ur next”

    • @oioioi894
      @oioioi894 5 лет назад +10

      Yeah it doesn’t smell, it’s a RUclips video

    • @somniato7759
      @somniato7759 5 лет назад +6

      @@oioioi894 lol, I just realized

    • @xxIluvyouguysxx
      @xxIluvyouguysxx 5 лет назад +1

      U right lol

    • @acedv6134
      @acedv6134 5 лет назад +1

      yeah he shouldve moved his fingers lol

    • @Genaaa916
      @Genaaa916 5 лет назад

      Lol I mean it's still wrong.

  • @markvos2692
    @markvos2692 4 года назад +7

    "It's not gay if you dont make eye contact" is a wonderful motto to live by 😂