r/Technicallythetruth | they're right i guess?

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  • Опубликовано: 8 янв 2025

Комментарии • 3,4 тыс.

  • @nick1541
    @nick1541 5 лет назад +4895

    “I’m not like most teens. I’m in my 40s.”
    Has the same energy as:
    I’m not like other girls. I’m a boy.

    • @joannef9973
      @joannef9973 5 лет назад +36

      Yeah, but “I’m not like most teens. I’m in my 40s.” Is grammatically correct.

    • @minhozen2917
      @minhozen2917 5 лет назад +94

      @@joannef9973 And "I'm not like other girls, i'm a boy" is also grammatically correct

    • @ragedgamers579
      @ragedgamers579 5 лет назад +14

      “I’m not like most teens. I’m in my 40s”
      Me: wait so you’re telling me some teens are not teens?
      Because then that means you have to be not like all _teens_ and not just the majouriyu

    • @allthingsaviation12
      @allthingsaviation12 5 лет назад +18

      RagedGamers A stroke just kicked in at the end. Majority*

    • @Nuclearburrit0
      @Nuclearburrit0 5 лет назад +3

      @@ragedgamers579 100% is most

  • @tenenlikker9631
    @tenenlikker9631 5 лет назад +6055

    “Nice name”
    “I got it for my birthday”
    Jesus: “i got mine for christmas”

    • @kaiserherz8624
      @kaiserherz8624 5 лет назад +29

      @light spell
      planned-birthday-name I guess?

    • @EricLing64
      @EricLing64 5 лет назад +43

      Jesus was likely born in September, or early October.
      Isaac Newton was born on Christmas.

    • @tenenlikker9631
      @tenenlikker9631 5 лет назад +4

      Eric Ling go win a nobel price edit: jesus was born the 7th of january stop correcting random people online

    • @snekasans8357
      @snekasans8357 5 лет назад +1

      Hey me too

    • @nbmicrowave
      @nbmicrowave 5 лет назад +1

      Lol

  • @derekq8790
    @derekq8790 5 лет назад +3144

    Every sixty seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

  • @gothmoth3689
    @gothmoth3689 5 лет назад +9394

    *”You will find it on the knife”*
    I’m gonna use this when people ask where things are

    • @zenixrl_
      @zenixrl_ 5 лет назад +302

      Ryzio 76 “hey, where’s dad?”

    • @hmr0470
      @hmr0470 5 лет назад +323

      Hey, where's the knife?

    • @randomweirdo7501
      @randomweirdo7501 5 лет назад +70

      Hey where is mom?

    • @n00bslay3r6
      @n00bslay3r6 5 лет назад +60

      Where did my v card go?

    • @TheDragonRuler-
      @TheDragonRuler- 5 лет назад +35

      Whatever happened to Sheila? Anybody see Shiela?

  • @pelleblomstedt7370
    @pelleblomstedt7370 5 лет назад +5779

    Damien: It’s not that funny
    Also Damien: W H E E Z E

  • @needmoresnowpls8054
    @needmoresnowpls8054 4 года назад +794

    Two guys holding a banner, 7 feet apart cuz they got wives

    • @HybrydATP64
      @HybrydATP64 4 года назад +26

      They should’ve written that on the poster

    • @valrietyy7164
      @valrietyy7164 4 года назад +8

      Ruined the 69 likes :3

    • @egg7347
      @egg7347 4 года назад +16

      @@valrietyy7164 Y-you monster

    • @colbyolson9203
      @colbyolson9203 4 года назад +1

      They were kicked out of the parade for having the banner, everyone booed the officals

    • @pastelgalaxy4079
      @pastelgalaxy4079 4 года назад +4

      Two bros chillin in a hot tub, five feet apart cause they're not gay-

  • @OrionoftheStar
    @OrionoftheStar 5 лет назад +4278

    "You can't see sounds."
    "I have synesthesia."

    • @christinewennerberg804
      @christinewennerberg804 5 лет назад +58

      THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING

    • @ennuisolar
      @ennuisolar 5 лет назад +8

      Same ^

    • @cayde5676
      @cayde5676 5 лет назад +4

      More like a sociopath

    • @xenile2030
      @xenile2030 5 лет назад +4

      Cool dude that's rad

    • @OrionoftheStar
      @OrionoftheStar 5 лет назад +16

      @@xenile2030
      Sorry, I actually don't (although I'd cut off my actual ears to be able to SEE music). I was playing the role of someone who does right after being told they can't see sound.

  • @marshthemushling333
    @marshthemushling333 5 лет назад +1602

    Someone: “If you are what you eat, does that mean cannibals are innocent people?"
    Me: “No, if you are what you eat, cannibals are dead..."
    Someone: "Oh yeah..."

  • @lucid9324
    @lucid9324 5 лет назад +2061

    If a child refuses to sleep during the nap time are they guilty of resisting a rest (arrest)?

    • @enderchicken228
      @enderchicken228 5 лет назад +43

      i'm the main character in my anime called life lol

    • @ultimate_capper3643
      @ultimate_capper3643 5 лет назад +8

      Hmm this joke is awfully familiar...

    • @flwrsofbffnry
      @flwrsofbffnry 5 лет назад +2

      why only a child-

    • @MarioMarioBW
      @MarioMarioBW 5 лет назад +6

      @Not Nightcore Hmm, seems like something a side character would say. This, too, is something a side character would say.

    • @johnuferbach9166
      @johnuferbach9166 5 лет назад

      @@ultimate_capper3643 nice one :D

  • @DominikKowalski
    @DominikKowalski 5 лет назад +692

    "I'm 14"
    "What are you doing on NSFW section then?"
    "I don't go to work"
    xD

    • @gjsmith7606
      @gjsmith7606 4 года назад +7

      hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    • @Indivinity
      @Indivinity 4 года назад +4

      @@gjsmith7606 h

    • @raimuchibenshin9577
      @raimuchibenshin9577 4 года назад +5

      @@gjsmith7606 i was waiting for a twist

    • @alcornoquealvarez8717
      @alcornoquealvarez8717 4 года назад +1

      G J Smith that’s dedication

    • @Scott_McKin
      @Scott_McKin 3 года назад

      im evil… i made it 666 likes

  • @oravabdul914
    @oravabdul914 5 лет назад +1345

    Title: they are right i guess?
    Left handed people: angry writing

  • @pandacanton7135
    @pandacanton7135 4 года назад +265

    "A microwave is the head chef of Olive Garden"
    Gordon Ramsay: *Angry British Noises"

    • @tremeschinion9420
      @tremeschinion9420 3 года назад +3

      Ramsay isn't from Britain, he's from SwearTown

  • @senseifoot
    @senseifoot 5 лет назад +774

    "the end is near"
    the end: *your free trial of living has ended*

    • @Nuclearburrit0
      @Nuclearburrit0 5 лет назад +18

      Damn pay to win mechanics

    • @Xx_zealand_xX
      @Xx_zealand_xX 5 лет назад +10

      @@Nuclearburrit0 not true. You pay the whole time and you still lose.

    • @enterprism5298
      @enterprism5298 5 лет назад +7

      Please pay 50$ daily and 1000$ a month trying to pay off your debt from college while being depressed

    • @gotchathespider7850
      @gotchathespider7850 5 лет назад +3

      Free?

    • @senseifoot
      @senseifoot 5 лет назад +1

      @@gotchathespider7850 uuuuuhhhh

  • @Azufumii
    @Azufumii 5 лет назад +684

    “Where are you from?”
    “My mother’s vagina.”
    Damien: “Yeah me-“
    DAMIEN NO

    • @camilleremiano8463
      @camilleremiano8463 5 лет назад +16

      Yeah,i visited it last year,the weather was very moist that year

    • @Azufumii
      @Azufumii 5 лет назад +6

      Bleach Withmentos lmao sounds fun, I’ve never been

    • @darthplagueis13
      @darthplagueis13 5 лет назад +8

      Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, Cotton-Eyed Joe?

    • @gotchathespider7850
      @gotchathespider7850 5 лет назад +1

      Strange, I'm from my fathers balls

    • @thetimeempress1518
      @thetimeempress1518 5 лет назад

      Why do guys say they came from their dad's cock?
      They're stupid.

  • @yeyo8457
    @yeyo8457 5 лет назад +784

    magician : i can make anything disappear
    magician : i can make disappear
    magician : i can disappear
    -magician-

  • @andyfitzgerald3202
    @andyfitzgerald3202 4 года назад +107

    I can barely ever read the word “teens” without reading it again backwards, which is “sneet.”

    • @dismal8294
      @dismal8294 4 года назад +6

      sneet vs snoot

    • @alexjohnmason7107
      @alexjohnmason7107 3 года назад

      Teens and sneet.... If you read them start ing with the t you get Teens....

    • @dreamydailine
      @dreamydailine 3 года назад +2

      @@dismal8294 Sneet Snoot Sneet Sneet Sneet Snoot Snoot Snou Sneet snou. Snou Shue Snoot Sneet Sneet Snou!

    • @PhantomLily1677-
      @PhantomLily1677- 3 года назад +1

      I’m not a teen I’m a neet

  • @oneyear7633
    @oneyear7633 4 года назад +111

    “ *Finding Nemo* ”
    Me: well I mean, that’s not wrong.

    • @katiekoo-koohead2551
      @katiekoo-koohead2551 3 года назад +6

      I had to pause it at that because I was like "I dislike that this is accurate."

    • @oneyear7633
      @oneyear7633 3 года назад +2

      @@katiekoo-koohead2551 damn you brought me back to a comment i made 8 months ago

    • @masteranonasfs756
      @masteranonasfs756 3 года назад +2

      I mean that was most of the plot without fish and more sinister tone

  • @enderthedark5843
    @enderthedark5843 5 лет назад +506

    “You matter... unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light, then you energy.”
    The equation is “E = mc^2” so you’d actually have to multiply yourself by the speed of light SQUARED.
    I have no friends.

  • @Electric_Bagpipes
    @Electric_Bagpipes 5 лет назад +40

    dr. enderlin
    Vet/taxidermist
    "Either way your gettin your dog back"
    11/10 slogan.

  • @scooter-eh1ec
    @scooter-eh1ec 5 лет назад +486

    This got more than 10 likes so you can’t show him that 10 is worth a lot

    • @yesitsme2928
      @yesitsme2928 5 лет назад +3

      69 likes...
      nice

    • @huyup123456
      @huyup123456 5 лет назад +10

      I went to a wine tasting and played with my asshole.

    • @dxth8483
      @dxth8483 5 лет назад +3

      @@huyup123456 haha same

    • @d3m0nic77
      @d3m0nic77 5 лет назад +3

      huyup123456 r/nobodyasked

    • @dxth8483
      @dxth8483 5 лет назад +1

      @@d3m0nic77 r/technicallythetruth

  • @summerpowell1141
    @summerpowell1141 4 года назад +42

    "I watch the movie where man's wife is brutally murdered by a serial killer in his son is left physically disabled. In a turn of events his son is kidnapped and he has to chase the kidnapper thousands of miles for the help of a mentally disabled woman."

  • @plasmaticlmao
    @plasmaticlmao 5 лет назад +746

    We are watching someone react to pictures because other people have reacted to the pictures
    Holy shit thanks for the -gold- -silver- likes guys!

    • @ღsღ-s1h
      @ღsღ-s1h 5 лет назад +4

      o_o

    • @ahmadhackett85
      @ahmadhackett85 5 лет назад +9

      Say sike rn

    • @briankellyphd8952
      @briankellyphd8952 5 лет назад +6

      That's technically the truth
      LoL

    • @codythedoggo7671
      @codythedoggo7671 5 лет назад +1

      B I G B R A I N

    • @swiftgrimm579
      @swiftgrimm579 5 лет назад +4

      We are reacting to someone reacting to pictures because other people reacted to others people reactions because of their reactions and that’s how toast is made into hard boiled eggs.

  • @djnxt5797
    @djnxt5797 5 лет назад +172

    Me: * sees thumbnail *
    My brain: two guys with a banner each on one side cause they not gay

    • @tonycos2354
      @tonycos2354 4 года назад +1

      That's what I was thinking, man I need some friends

  • @mamba4life252
    @mamba4life252 5 лет назад +157

    Money aside, what is one thing you need right now
    *The money you just put aside*

  • @Shay_XD
    @Shay_XD 5 лет назад +276

    "Nice name"
    "Thanks I got it for my birthday"
    "Really...I got mine for Christmas"
    Me: Sudden realization that my dad can actually say that and it would still work. (He was born on Christmas.)

  • @kamilahcooper120
    @kamilahcooper120 5 лет назад +178

    "There won't be a zombie apocalypse if we cremate all dead bodies".
    Damien: doesn't see 69 retweets and 69 likes
    me: nice
    also me: DAMIEN WHAT THE HECK

    • @Foolish_Fool2284
      @Foolish_Fool2284 5 лет назад +6

      There won’t be a zombie apocalypse if we don’t die

  • @kingj6677
    @kingj6677 4 года назад +45

    "Hi yes I'm"
    English teachers: *hold on he's onto something*

  • @imaperson8942
    @imaperson8942 5 лет назад +467

    Is ten a big number?
    Depends what context:
    10 Pounds? No.
    10 Murders? Yes.
    Really hoping people get this, even though it's kinda dead.

    • @Nuclearburrit0
      @Nuclearburrit0 5 лет назад +42

      I will pound you 10 times.
      Not so small now is it!?

    • @aayushmaanmazoomdar6101
      @aayushmaanmazoomdar6101 5 лет назад +2

      Got that one. 😂😂😂

    • @arandomrose5392
      @arandomrose5392 5 лет назад +2

      XD

    • @reddeath5791
      @reddeath5791 5 лет назад +11

      I'm a Person
      10 TVs? Yes
      10 Robberies? Yes
      10 Children? Yes
      10 Screws? No
      10 Crumbs? No
      10 Games? No
      10 10s? Wait...I don’t know...would it be a lot or not to have 10 10s!? We need to get to the bottom of this!!

    • @demonking8803
      @demonking8803 5 лет назад +7

      RedDeath5 Yes because ten ten’s would be one-hundred. And a hundred of most things is a lot.

  • @DigitalJedi
    @DigitalJedi 5 лет назад +386

    "Something Damian said out of context" - this comment section, 2019.

    • @profaneddonut5342
      @profaneddonut5342 5 лет назад +1

      I hate hybrid tankz

    • @huyup123456
      @huyup123456 5 лет назад +2

      Shit on my asshole.

    • @ktongmm
      @ktongmm 5 лет назад

      Yeah annihilator is so much better

    • @DigitalJedi
      @DigitalJedi 5 лет назад

      To each their own. I prefer to have the drones to cover escapes and help with CQB situations.

    • @ktongmm
      @ktongmm 5 лет назад +1

      Every time I try to kill someone with hybrid they see it coming because of the drones giving it away. Annihilator can kill anyone easily, even if you’re not that good at the game.

  • @myrr.th.
    @myrr.th. 4 года назад +20

    Someone: Where do you come from?
    Me: The hostpital.
    Someone: No- not that
    Me: Oh okay
    Me: My mom’s stomach

    • @randybai8211
      @randybai8211 3 года назад +1

      Technically its the womb xd, unless you want a dead kid

  • @Creeper_123
    @Creeper_123 5 лет назад +399

    "Yes"
    -EmKay 2019

    • @rus778
      @rus778 5 лет назад

      Hahahaha so fucking funny

    • @Fruitbowl01
      @Fruitbowl01 5 лет назад

      "Yes
      -EmKay 2019"
      -DiamondCreeper123 2019

    • @cuhomie6818
      @cuhomie6818 5 лет назад

      @@rus778 yep so funny hahhahahhahahaha when funny people spreads it everywhere to every god damn youtube comment section

    • @rus778
      @rus778 5 лет назад

      @@cuhomie6818 omg yes i was being sarcastic btw

    • @amelia_rt
      @amelia_rt 5 лет назад

      @Juan Cortez Muro no

  • @nekowoo
    @nekowoo 5 лет назад +2179

    “The end is near”
    *gets ad about Halloween movie where people die after a countdown or something*
    Edit 1 day after aka 10/10/19
    Wat how never got 1k likes before 0w0 thancc

    • @SoapyySkyy
      @SoapyySkyy 5 лет назад +26

      (╯°□°)╯ ┻━┻

    • @DigitalLumian
      @DigitalLumian 5 лет назад +8

      I got that ad too

    • @Ndehhejdbdnwj
      @Ndehhejdbdnwj 5 лет назад

      You don't get an ad

    • @izukumidoriya8598
      @izukumidoriya8598 5 лет назад +8

      Isn’t it just called “Countdown” (10/10 naming skills)

    • @aaronbrunson3267
      @aaronbrunson3267 5 лет назад +1

      Woosh if big noob boy look at the yellow lines on the length

  • @thextravagant1459
    @thextravagant1459 5 лет назад +94

    Roses are red
    Ladies bugs are too
    But when there's a like
    Why is it blue

    • @voidzones
      @voidzones 4 года назад

      Its gray...

    • @weeowh509
      @weeowh509 4 года назад

      @@voidzones thats the joke

    • @voidzones
      @voidzones 4 года назад

      @@weeowh509 thats a poem

    • @weeowh509
      @weeowh509 4 года назад

      @@voidzones it's a joke, about liking their own comment. Just made into a poem

    • @voidzones
      @voidzones 4 года назад

      @@weeowh509 ok then.

  • @Pocketnemo
    @Pocketnemo 5 лет назад +689

    I'll tell you everything that's been on my genitals:
    -

  • @BunchORabbits
    @BunchORabbits 5 лет назад +66

    Previous video: *Damien censors a swear word*
    RUclips: Aight imma head out
    Video where Damien says vagina and doesnt censor it:
    RUclips: Aight Imma head straight back in

  • @sociallyawkward2.019
    @sociallyawkward2.019 4 года назад +75

    *me not understanding the boat joke because it’s a dad joke*
    I’m a Virgin.

    • @marcosbasbus7031
      @marcosbasbus7031 4 года назад +8

      If you didn't understand it
      The joke means that the boat has less wieght because you throw away the lighter

    • @PigFishYT
      @PigFishYT 4 года назад +5

      They had 4 cigarettes, if u trow away 1 u have 1 less, so ur "1 lighter"

    • @taylorwakeman6913
      @taylorwakeman6913 4 года назад

      Omg I know what your prof pic is from.

    • @katiekoo-koohead2551
      @katiekoo-koohead2551 3 года назад +2

      I came here for that explanation because I was confused.

    • @brittany2674
      @brittany2674 3 года назад

      69 likes ayyyy

  • @Shannonsweets
    @Shannonsweets 5 лет назад +399

    nobody:
    Emkay music:(◕‿◕)っ 🎷

    • @SoapyySkyy
      @SoapyySkyy 5 лет назад

      ಠ_ಠ

    • @scribblemeeps
      @scribblemeeps 5 лет назад +7

      Juan Garcia iiiimmm mister king dice!

    • @cornycorn7992
      @cornycorn7992 5 лет назад +1

      The first time I watched one of his videos I was like...
      "It's the King Dice theme.."

    • @strawberrybleach923
      @strawberrybleach923 5 лет назад +1

      Scribble Meeps And I’m the gamest in the landd!~

    • @cornycorn7992
      @cornycorn7992 5 лет назад +3

      @@strawberrybleach923 I never play nice, I'm the Devil's right hand man! (Is that right? I haven't listened to it in like 2 years

  • @kirbycreep
    @kirbycreep 5 лет назад +171

    "quote"
    -person, year

  • @serioussingularity9595
    @serioussingularity9595 4 года назад +21

    8:10. It started when an alien device did what it did
    It stuck itself upon his wrist with secrets that it hid
    Now he's got superpowers he's no ordinary kid
    He's Ben 10 (Ben 10)
    So if you see him you might be in for a big surprise
    He'll turn into an alien before your very eyes
    He's slimy, creepy, fast and strong
    He's every shape and size
    He's Ben 10 (Ben 10)
    Armed with powers he's on the case
    Fighting off evil from earth or space
    He'll never stop till he makes them pay
    Coz he's the baddest kid to ever save day
    BEN 10

    • @jonathanche6553
      @jonathanche6553 4 года назад +1

      @Luke Bowers
      God, the fucking nostalgia.

  • @kaltenstein7718
    @kaltenstein7718 5 лет назад +84

    i got my name for christmas
    *opens wikipedia page on people who claimed to be jesus*

    • @Foolish_Fool2284
      @Foolish_Fool2284 5 лет назад +1

      Heh ok ... ur going to have to rephrase ur self

    • @kaltenstein7718
      @kaltenstein7718 5 лет назад

      @@Foolish_Fool2284 this is a quote from the video

  • @lilmewontehskreetsyeet1343
    @lilmewontehskreetsyeet1343 5 лет назад +62

    Someone: Makes art of Damien
    Damien: *Happy hand noises*

  • @aSceene
    @aSceene 5 лет назад +43

    2:47
    *_that guy is so tiny, look at him!_*
    oh my gosh... his voice-
    *O W O*

  • @SirPablito
    @SirPablito 5 лет назад +4

    0:40
    'Is 10 a lot?'
    *Depends on the context.*
    *Dollars? No.*
    *Murders? Yes.*

  • @VOLAIRE
    @VOLAIRE 5 лет назад +13

    0:43 ten dollars is a lot when your 7 years old
    Ten dollars is not a lot when you’re 25

    • @ARCtheCartoonMaster
      @ARCtheCartoonMaster 5 лет назад +2

      Not to mention, $10 was objectively a lot back in 1914. (Equivalent to $256.56 today)

    • @raindrop2082
      @raindrop2082 5 лет назад +1

      Juan Cortez Muro stfu

  • @pranabmohanty7767
    @pranabmohanty7767 5 лет назад +19

    7:34
    Excuse me, Damien. I think you meant
    *_We Get It_*

  • @kingmaplesyrup
    @kingmaplesyrup 5 лет назад +63

    "It's a proven fact that criminals commit less crime when they've been shot."
    *SECOND AMENDMENT INTENSIFIES*

  • @Deathray5005
    @Deathray5005 5 лет назад +23

    god Damien's laugh is amazing and I swear to God it could probably cure disease

  • @cptray-steam
    @cptray-steam 5 лет назад +4

    I was expecting the one on the thumbnail to say, "two men walking 10 feet apart cause they aren't gay..."

  • @Lolerz04
    @Lolerz04 5 лет назад +252

    "Half of 12 year olds are smarter than the average 12 year old."
    That's... not at all how averages work

    • @thewanderingmistnull2451
      @thewanderingmistnull2451 5 лет назад +41

      Yes, it is. Half of 12-year-olds are smarter than the average, half are dumber. If you rounded up 1001 random kids, one kid would sit directly at average, odds are pretty high that 500 would be dumber than them, and 500 would be smarter.

    • @BappO-is-me
      @BappO-is-me 5 лет назад +13

      TheWanderingMist what if the number of children is even? Say if one of the children weren’t vaccinated and the number dropped to 1,000 children?

    • @小彭-t5n
      @小彭-t5n 5 лет назад +5

      @@BappO-is-me We don't know the average.

    • @hellothere7389
      @hellothere7389 5 лет назад +6

      The one who sucks then the average changes, and 500 and smarter than the avg and 500 are dumber

    • @jordananderson2728
      @jordananderson2728 5 лет назад +7

      I mean, according to the bell curve, yeah

  • @ariel_warfare
    @ariel_warfare 5 лет назад +38

    Joe Swanson
    Plankton
    Chills
    I'm telling ya, Damien would make a *killing* as a voice actor.

  • @Jess016
    @Jess016 2 года назад +3

    Damien’s laugh is so contagious, the way he reads things make them so much funnier 😭

  • @basicallystevenuniverse511
    @basicallystevenuniverse511 5 лет назад +27

    “That’s a bad joke” *laughs*

  • @emahanzel8498
    @emahanzel8498 5 лет назад +37

    Teacher: There are five senses.
    Student: I can see sounds.
    Teacher: You can't see sounds.
    Student: Actually, I have a condition-
    (8:25 this was what I thought it would be)

    • @AkumaDayo
      @AkumaDayo 5 лет назад +2

      Yeah I was thinking of synesthesia lmao

    • @japanpanda2179
      @japanpanda2179 5 лет назад +1

      Yeah me too

    • @nutella_wewerehere
      @nutella_wewerehere 5 лет назад +4

      There’s this one 360* video about synesthesia and it’s where this lady talks about her experience of being able to see sounds like musical notes appearing as bright multicolored light flares.

    • @AkumaDayo
      @AkumaDayo 5 лет назад +2

      @@nutella_wewerehere oh that's sounds really neat!

  • @VerticalPianist
    @VerticalPianist 3 года назад +1

    "Is 10 a lot?"
    "Depends on the context"
    "10 dollars? no"
    "10 friends in school? yes"

  • @iannlolz
    @iannlolz 5 лет назад +53

    " "
    -Emkay 2019

  • @heyitsclayyy3002
    @heyitsclayyy3002 5 лет назад +214

    9:11
    It’s 2019 Damian, we don’t “discriminate by age” anymore smh.
    /s

  • @amoledzeppelin
    @amoledzeppelin 5 лет назад +2

    About Japanese carpentry: in the university, the first ever phrase on the first ever lecture I heard there, started with this:
    "Let's write down the definitions:
    Culturology is a science about culture.
    Culture is the subject of culturology"
    And then I suddenly realized what a magnificent time lied ahead of me.

  • @dwardius1055
    @dwardius1055 5 лет назад +60

    EMkay: laughs
    World: alive and well

    • @MCshadr217
      @MCshadr217 5 лет назад

      Tell that to our planets core.

    • @asher_roth
      @asher_roth 5 лет назад

      @Juan Cortez Muro no

    • @huyup123456
      @huyup123456 5 лет назад +1

      I like to suck assholes.

    • @TheJuhaniacZone
      @TheJuhaniacZone 5 лет назад

      @@huyup123456 are you 12 or are you acting like an idiot

  • @oliviavazquezrojas7208
    @oliviavazquezrojas7208 5 лет назад +15

    I'm mr King Dice🎶
    I'm the gamest in the land🎶
    I never play nice🎶
    I'm the devil's right hand man🎶

  • @OldRuinTV
    @OldRuinTV 5 лет назад +2

    "Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you, you have my Word"
    That is definitely the funniest thing I've heard this past month.

  • @notimportant7947
    @notimportant7947 5 лет назад +130

    Everyone: -quote 2019
    -Everyone 2019
    Edit: thx for the likes

    • @EllTheBob
      @EllTheBob 5 лет назад +1

      xx RaspiiQween xx this stuff is getting pretty annoying

    • @firepower7017
      @firepower7017 5 лет назад

      Monika is best - East German Government 1949-1989

    • @huyup123456
      @huyup123456 5 лет назад +1

      AAAAHHHH FLY THAT HELICOPTER INTO MY ASSHOLE!!!!!!!

    • @notimportant7947
      @notimportant7947 5 лет назад

      @@huyup123456 no. just stop

  • @the_rachel_sam
    @the_rachel_sam 5 лет назад +8

    depression sucks. but hearing damien laugh makes me feel like i can laugh.

  • @Pinefr0st
    @Pinefr0st 3 года назад +1

    Two guys with a banner was the most wholesome segment of the Straight Pride parade. They had a lovely date afterwards at Olive Garden.

  • @PercifiedNBright
    @PercifiedNBright 5 лет назад +26

    Damien's laugh has cleared my acne and raised my grades

  • @andreacaininstinct
    @andreacaininstinct 5 лет назад +36

    "I'm not like *most* teens, I'm 40" implying that there are at least some teens out there who are 40

    • @connorwelcher
      @connorwelcher 5 лет назад

      I mean, most means greatest in amount and 100%>0%

  • @jensvanwinckel4776
    @jensvanwinckel4776 3 года назад +1

    8:45 speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you!

  • @Alice-FE
    @Alice-FE 5 лет назад +4

    Me: *is depressed*
    Damien: *uploads new video*
    Me:
    *RESTORATION 100*

  • @thedenseone6443
    @thedenseone6443 5 лет назад +65

    “You dunce”
    -Damian 2019

    • @gideone9802
      @gideone9802 5 лет назад +3

      What's with this meme format? Literally everyone uses it, even tho everyone watched the damn video.

    • @GhostofFarta
      @GhostofFarta 5 лет назад +1

      @@gideone9802 exactly like don't quote the video unless it added something worthy of discussion to the comments. The only replies are "Lolololll im ded" anyhow.

  • @TypicalHero
    @TypicalHero 5 лет назад +10

    When you get recommended because technoblade viewers also watch this
    I’m so proud at this fanbase

  • @FibonacciPasta
    @FibonacciPasta 5 лет назад +16

    “you know clapping is just hitting yourself because you like something”
    -Emkay, 2019

  • @sakurey.
    @sakurey. 5 лет назад +120

    "they're right i guess?"
    -Me, reading the title 2019

    • @whatinception
      @whatinception 5 лет назад +4

      you are right, i guess?

    • @ღsღ-s1h
      @ღsღ-s1h 5 лет назад +3

      This is such an inspiring quote. Thank you so much I feel emotionally powered now.

  • @wingsoffireig3280
    @wingsoffireig3280 4 года назад +3

    My FNaF brain when it hears the name Michael:
    Me: MICHAEL AFTON? Maybe talking about his dads murders okay- WHOS THE FIRST DUDE?? ~spends 4 hours yelling to self about stuff~

  • @Wanja01YT
    @Wanja01YT 5 лет назад +68

    It's so hard writing a comment when you are early, you can't steal someones comment.

    • @myfb3936
      @myfb3936 5 лет назад +7

      I stole yours.

    • @Μεττατοη
      @Μεττατοη 5 лет назад +2

      @@myfb3936 REEEEEEEEEEEEE

    • @ng2593
      @ng2593 5 лет назад +1

      It's so hard writing a comment when you are early, you can't steal someones comment.

    • @enz0368
      @enz0368 5 лет назад

      @@Μεττατοη your the type of cringy asf girl nobody likes lmao

    • @Jie67
      @Jie67 5 лет назад +1

      @@enz0368 son, its gonna get to the stage where you will take what you can get, then that cringy asf girl will be looking good compared to that land whale you gonna be ploughing with chicken tendys and such

  • @shishimaakaao663
    @shishimaakaao663 5 лет назад +17

    Its basically reddit version of "the floor here is made out of floor"

  • @dinoxman8584
    @dinoxman8584 4 года назад

    Person: There will be no zombie apocalypse if we cremate all dead bodies.
    Mutated Ashmen Apocalypse: *Are you sure about that?*

  • @lilablau4560
    @lilablau4560 5 лет назад +9

    8:21 I am fully aware that noone will care, but according to my amazing research skills the skeleton is about 25 m tall (ca 82 feet)

  • @ouilegarcon8876
    @ouilegarcon8876 5 лет назад +42

    The whole context of this subreddit is just like “well like... yeah.”

  • @what.in.the.world.9934
    @what.in.the.world.9934 4 года назад +4

    Magicians: I can make anything disappear
    Magicians: I can make dissappear
    Magician: I can dissappear
    *POOF GONE*

  • @princecuddle
    @princecuddle 5 лет назад +4

    2:10 there will also be no more necrophiliacs

  • @kalebrichardson1865
    @kalebrichardson1865 5 лет назад +11

    When em kay laughs he sounds like peter griffin

  • @misemusemusic
    @misemusemusic 5 лет назад +3

    1:14
    *Fanart makers* : So you’ve chosen henтай

  • @a.m.7438
    @a.m.7438 5 лет назад +45

    Technically the truth. Alternate title:
    Really clever smarty pants.

  • @kcwjunior1AceAttourny
    @kcwjunior1AceAttourny 5 лет назад +14

    "And as always, I'll b-"
    the outro music: Allow me to introduce myself

  • @shirothefish9688
    @shirothefish9688 3 года назад +1

    "thanks i got it for my birthday"
    "I got it for christmas"
    Jokes on you, i got mine on both.

  • @Dominion69420
    @Dominion69420 5 лет назад +83

    “10 Murders is a lot of murders”
    -EmKay, 2019

    • @f.b.i9305
      @f.b.i9305 5 лет назад +1

      Yeah...

    • @scottwales5966
      @scottwales5966 5 лет назад +2

      Ah yes Damian I see your a Alabama communist.

    • @temporaer
      @temporaer 5 лет назад

      @Juan Cortez Muro fuck off

    • @Dominion69420
      @Dominion69420 5 лет назад

      Scott your close but not fully on the mark

  • @playboifai
    @playboifai 5 лет назад +76

    r/technicallythetruth -EmKay 2019

    • @alexp5569
      @alexp5569 5 лет назад

      @@huyup123456
      r/cursedcomments

  • @Crimson-1997
    @Crimson-1997 4 года назад +1

    9:14 when someone asks how to pronounce my name and says "oh that's a lovely name" I'm not gonna lie, I've developed this as a response... it gets a good laugh

  • @finnp7817
    @finnp7817 5 лет назад +6

    Damien’s laugh will one day cure diseases all across the world!

  • @Bardigrade
    @Bardigrade 5 лет назад +5

    It's so hard writing a comment when you're early, you cant steal someone elses

  • @oscard8255
    @oscard8255 4 года назад

    Clapping never stops, the intervals between them just get longer until you clap again

  • @SCP--lx3il
    @SCP--lx3il 5 лет назад +27

    Why did I sing "two birds on a wire" when I saw the "too guys with a banner"
    Edit: forgot the second "

  • @bruhmoment1835
    @bruhmoment1835 5 лет назад +4

    0:20
    Y'all may not remember it, but this thing has an actual mathematical proof (rationality of non-terminating recurring numbers)

  • @oldbird4601
    @oldbird4601 5 лет назад +5

    When it said tap on the screen I thought I’d be stupid and actually tap, then an ad popped up and I got baited in to clicking it..... well played emkay

  • @noahlani6480
    @noahlani6480 5 лет назад +4

    3:07 I just realized that, that basically *was* the plot of Finding Nemo

  • @Dark_Slayer3000
    @Dark_Slayer3000 5 лет назад +4

    5:45 "Prison is just a place"

  • @bahamut8591
    @bahamut8591 4 года назад +1

    I will point out, yes if you freeze your drink before you get to Airport Security, then yes, you can bring it through security,

  • @monomo5830
    @monomo5830 5 лет назад +19

    Me: Close your eyes
    Person: I AM!
    Me: your eyes are still open.
    Person: I’m partially blind so technically I’m closing my eyes.

  • @0m4r__72
    @0m4r__72 5 лет назад +11

    You know you're early when you see that the video has more likes than views

  • @Luciando
    @Luciando 5 лет назад +1

    "I'm 14"
    "What are you doing in NSFW then?"
    "I don't go to work"
    IM DYING AHAHAHAAH

  • @flouyume2020
    @flouyume2020 5 лет назад +26

    *facepalm*
    Me: why did it take me so long to get that cig joke

    • @bluezitrone9731
      @bluezitrone9731 5 лет назад +2

      Because weight isn't the first thing you think of when thinking about cigarettes.

    • @flouyume2020
      @flouyume2020 5 лет назад +1

      Yeah.

    • @dagger1623
      @dagger1623 5 лет назад +2

      hey i still don’t get it sooo

    • @bluezitrone9731
      @bluezitrone9731 5 лет назад +1

      @@dagger1623 allow me to explain. If you throw the cigarette overboard then the ship/boat is one cigarette lighter ie there is one cigarette less on board.

    • @dagger1623
      @dagger1623 5 лет назад +1

      ohhhhhh i’m dumb