Alexander Greene indeed. Almost everything in existence is made from the same thing. So therefore... *extremely exaggerated gasp* food is made of stardust and so is everything else, (apart from nothingness) so DIRT AND STONE MUST BE EDIBLE! Science right there.
Pork upsets my stomach and once you go two or three years without touching bacon and then you try it... Literally tastes like greasy burnt pig with too much salt. And I love meat, and I still love sausage and stuff even though I can’t eat it. But bacon? Repulsive, and I used to love it.
I ate bacon raw as a kid. True story, whenever my mom bought a package, I took like 3 strips and ate them raw. Until I became a vegetarian in high school and been that for over 15 years. So.. your joke is kinda.. lame.
Gamerflask Studeos that “humpty-dumpty” was actually a cannon that fell off a castle tower and into swampland, which due to it’s weight was not retrievable.
@DIY The North It was a Disney show, and it ended multiple years ago. Just because you watched a show as a kid and liked it, doesn't mean you can't still like it as an adult.
@DIY The North Can you fuck off and go back to your repressive office building of purgatory please? I'm sure your attitude will be appreciated far more by the other lost souls there who were never allowed to have an imagination.
@DIY The North No,silly! It's meant for TV, not for children! ...But seriously though, Gravity Falls is NOT meant for little kids. In fact, It's probably one of the most grown up things Disney's ever made. And have you seriously not watched ANY Disney movies as an adult? If you say yes then you are a hypocrite, if no then you must be fun at parties. Seriously, It's time to realize nobody really grows up. The best days of your life for most people is in your childhood. You should always take the time to be a little more childish evry now and then.
Time for my favourite joke: There was a girl who I knew who was a kleptomainiac. She loved jokes though I had to explain puns a lot to her because she always took things literally.
9:24 To add to that Me: How is prison funded? Government: ....by taxes Me: and I can go to a place funded by taxes for the sole reason of not paying for people to go there? Government: ......yes? Me: makes sense
(6:02) I've been to an escape room. - The door you enter through is unlocked at all times. They can't lock you in for plenty of legal reasons. But you can just pretend it is.
In fairness, "young student loan debt" is VERY intimidating name. If I had to pick who I'd want as my sworn enemy, "random violent douchebag" is far less intimidating than "CPS agent" or "Assistant District Attorney".
"You can't an animal lover and a meat eater!" Saint Francis of Assisi was a well-known saint AND an animal lover. And he ate meat. Same for, well, pretty much everyone, including people in animal care associations. We are freaking omnivorous. Deal with it.
"Shakespeare never studied Shakespeare, and went on to become Shakespeare" is it just me or does your brain hurt if you try to think about this to much?
It makes sense in a way. There is no progression if you are doing the same actions as everyone else. Follow your own path and all that jazz. It's also Dave Ramsey's advice "If you want to be rich, be weird and not normal".
he posted it on the screen that it was 4 and he berated himself for it, so no need for you to do it again lol i think he is a bit dyslexic as he gets several things backwards especially on numbers in the videos ive watched anyway. :)
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
“How do I look?”
“With your eyes, Bert.”
Good job
y-you’re not wrong
ernie and bert, the only gods. don't change my mind.
i’m...... 🤣🤣🤣
@UCTuVpXaCLSaDpB-Msbg5WoQ I'm what
Damien’s laughs:
0% coughs
0% giggles
0% laughs
100% *W H E E Z E*
Ah you forgot one.you forgot the smile
You forgot 200% Gasping For Air
Actually its 100% laughs
GD Al may I recommend the Minecraft youtuber Dream
GD Al 1:41
"what is above tenesee?"
"air"
*Well he is making sense.*
Outer Space
no that would be a coin maker making cents
The answer to that guy’s question is Kentucky.
Kentucky
Can confirm since I live in Tennessee that this is 99% true.
“I have two brains and you only have one”
“Yeah, but one of those brains is barely developed, and the other one hasn’t been born yet”
how does this not have more likes than the video
@@racheline_nya thats not how it works
Ah yes teenage pregnancy
*slow clap*
This isn’t murdered by words.
“You’ve never actually watched a full movie because you blink” I WILL SHOW YOU WRONG WHERE IS THE DUCKTAPE
Lily and Val NO
Lily and Val PLEASE NO
Duct*
r/cursedcomments
ĐŒ IÞ¡
A wise quote for today:
Friends are like trees
They fall down after you hit ‘em with an axe a couple times.
Have you tested this?
So true
Huh, gotta say, trees are way more steadfast and forgiving than my friends.
They stick around for more hits than my friends do.
This was literally on an emkay video
DAMN YOU RIGHT bitch to clean up though
3:55
Damien: *says $2.79*
$2.97: *Am I a joke to you?*
Yin Yang it’s okay he’s dyslexic
@@thotrot8262 he also said he was running on an hour of sleep sooooo
Sorrow TV would never mess up this bad
It is a joke.
Bro this ain't funny
Technically the Romans are the only people that can say "We crucified Jesus!"
Technically the truth.
Tails is disappointed in your recent decisions hmmmmmmmm
WHY AM I SEEING YOUR COMMENTS EVERYWHERE
@@nugget829 nuggets remember me
WE KILLED GOD
can we talk about the fact that the "how high are you" thing was brendon urie and Josh dun?
I'm a panic fan
I love P!TAD and Tøp
@@dreamrexend A *PAN*ic fan ha ha ha get it? Yeah I'm sorry I'll better go now.
CJMRex Freerunning Panic! the at Disco lol
Mina Becke Yesssss
"Love is not only blind... it's stupid"
Damn if that aint the truth
Love is a word
Mecha Mecha it’s technically the truth
let's take a moment to appreciate that this channel isn't another text-to-speech Reddit channel.
AnthraX Poisonillious
*love him or hate him, this guy is spitting straight facts*
GioFilms, Dark Dom, Kingani, Wildspartanz.
Yeah, most of those are botted like reddiculous
@@honey-bun3976 GioFilms was an awesome Reddit reader. Sadly, he quit RUclips…
well technically it is text-to-speech because Damien is reading text out loud, so he is converting text into speech
Blindfolded person: "I don't see where this is going"
- Takes off blind fold
"Ah, I see!"
I like this
"ah, I see," said the blind man
@@Lip_Bone yeah, he does see a blind fold
@media ́s backup channel
r/rareinsults
If you see the prefix 'un' written somewhere, does that mean it's 'un' seen?
‘You’re a brain piloting a bone-mech with meat-armour.’
That may be the truest thing I’ve ever heard.
then why do people beat that armor?
You're not a brain. You are the whole body. The skeleton, the brain, the 'meat-armour', it's all you. You are all of it.
@@jaspermorgan9339 *i am the armour*
Yeah, if you've ever seen a nervous system (eyes included) we're some really fucked up lookin' aliens.
Alexander Greene indeed. Almost everything in existence is made from the same thing. So therefore... *extremely exaggerated gasp* food is made of stardust and so is everything else, (apart from nothingness) so DIRT AND STONE MUST BE EDIBLE! Science right there.
Screen: $2.97
Emkay: $2.76
*DYSLEXIA 100*
lmao bruh
I wanna play that Elder Scrolls game.
Episode 6 (VI)
In the video: IV (4)
It's true he made a mistake but that does not mean he has dyslexia he just made a mistake
no steel my comment >:O
Brendon Urie: "Do Crabs think fish are flying?"
Josh Dun: "How high are you?"
Brendon Urie: "5'9"
😂😂😂 Brendon Urie is a legend
My Siri literally activated when you said, “hey Siri” .
BlueLizard HD same
*has a mother named siri*
I thought it said "Hey Sin" for a second.
*ya would've had a Sinful Siri in your home*
Noob Boot in what way :)
@@gamertrask9153 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Emkay: “I like your style Noah”
Me my name being Noah: *raised Confidence noises*
Did ya get the boat yet?
Noah Bryant are you related to kobe bryant
me my name being
me my name being
Fun fact: there are more airplanes in the sea, than submarines on the sky
Actually, I think there as many airplanes *on* the sea as submarines on the sky right now: 0
@@danielmaher1654 they are planes that can stay on water so..
@@danielmaher1654 :O how did i not think about that
*under
The fbi: you weren't supposed to do that...
Technically true, the best kind of truth there is.
Because it makes you sounds like a douchebag but they can't argue, cause you're right.
10:42
Nobody’s talking about this one much, so I’ll put in my own rap name.
_Young Crippling Anxiety_
I got some young guilt!
@@xaxai127 well I feel like that is at least a descent name.
Young Selfishness
mine is Young Todoroki (bc what i got was young + the last thing that made me happy)
@@Zettos_Malewife I thought it was something you carry around with you everywhere
"You can't be an animal lover and a meat eater"
I mean you could just like some animals and eat others.
Actually i love my animals then if they die i eat them
I love animals, love them so much they are my favourite food :D
Depends on what you mean by "animal lover" I love animals especially with barbecue sauce
I mean if you love to eat animals you could be both
Actually, it just means you love animals two ways; cute, fluffy/scaly/squirmy/feathery, and alive as well as cooked and on your plate.
"you never saw a full movie bc you blinked"
me, a intellectual: *pauses before i blink each time*
@Axl Dave then i shall remove my eye lids
"your piloting a bone mech that uses meat armor"
yeah how do i get a new one then?
And why is the armor not very efficient
You get new armor by cell growth
Uh, brain transplant?
You kill someone, peel their skin off, and wear it.
"Is that a book of facts?"
Forget the book, was that Neo?
Yes.
NEO!!!!!
@@IcecreamNeo
Yup.
@@noox13 if only it were yang...
@@IcecreamNeo
Bruh...
Dad washing car with son
Son: uUH dad I think you’re meant to use the sponge-
Bonnalina Fuzbunny In what way
The water is boiling.
@@Grey_Ramen_Hair r/technicallycorrect
“Don’t get one hour of sleep”
Me an intellectual: “however, I did not get one hour of sleep, I got zero.”
3:10
Brendon?! Josh?! What are you guys doin' here?? XD
Joooooosh
👏🅱👏🅱👏🅱👏🅱👏🅱👏
they have always been here, what u talking about XD
YOU MEAN BREADBIN AND JISH. BUT JISH DOESNT EXIST
Pastel Bunny josh had never existed
All of Brendon, josh, and Tyler’s tweets are hilarious and I always feel giddy when I see them in places where no one except us knows who they are
neds.a.bit.cudgy YASSSS
3:10
It’s nice to see Josh and Brendon getting along 😂
"Give me your best reason for eating bacon."
Me: I mean, have you tried it?
unpopular opinion: bacon tastes bad
Pork upsets my stomach and once you go two or three years without touching bacon and then you try it...
Literally tastes like greasy burnt pig with too much salt. And I love meat, and I still love sausage and stuff even though I can’t eat it. But bacon? Repulsive, and I used to love it.
I ate bacon raw as a kid. True story, whenever my mom bought a package, I took like 3 strips and ate them raw. Until I became a vegetarian in high school and been that for over 15 years. So.. your joke is kinda.. lame.
The Official Yoongi Stan wow sorry for that
*AM HUNGRY*
>reads $2.97 as $2.79
>reads IV as 6
jesus christ, dude
just why damien
He also didn't get that episode 4 was the first one to be filmed... *sigh*
He not the only one that read IV as 6, at least he didn't complain wtf IV is 4.
If you're being driven in a car and you're mad, you've technically have been "driven mad".
"humpty-dumpty" was actually a cannon that fell off a castle tower and into swampland, which due to its weight was not retrievable.
What point are trying to make
Gamerflask Studeos that “humpty-dumpty” was actually a cannon that fell off a castle tower and into swampland, which due to it’s weight was not retrievable.
@@HoneyEggs ... listen here you little sh*t
Saiavinn nah Im good
*the more you know*
Ok boys, this is getting outta hand, Kay?
@@Noelle_XO I did though. He's never going to reach the truth.
@@Noelle_XO He's doing it over and over
*Piano sounds in the distance*
Giorno Giovanna ha, got Em
Should you be ruling the mafia right now? Stop posting comments and go stop drug traffic, SMH.
You donated on Marcus Veltri’s recent livestream right?
You are staring at a black screen with flashing lights
Actually, I'm on my phone, so I'm staring at a white screen with darkened sections on top.
Very true. I am in the exact the same situation
HOW DID YOU KNOW
I wish it had deeper blacks. I want an OLED screen!
oh my god i didn’t realize brendon urie and josh dun would be in this video i am so glad i clicked
same
they aren't lmao
Those were fake tweets as far as I know... But not 100% sure
TRUE
At 08:12 "5!" means "5 factorial", which is 5*4*3*2*1 = 120
Glad I'm not the only one who noticed that.
omggg of course, I was so confused for a sec there
Omg i knew it was a trick
wdym? I don't get the joke, if you solve the problem it does equal 5
@OpGamers you meant order of operations then
‘You’re a brain piloting a bone-mech with meat-armour.’
does that make me an evangelion
3:07 I think it's funier by the fact its Brendon Urie and Josh Dun
Was the original by them
@@EmiFoz I have no idea, it just says that they posted it
11:01 Dude Gravity Falls is the best show ever. You should watch it. It's phenomenal.
I still remember the whistling tone of its intro.
I can hear it now
@DIY The North It was a Disney show, and it ended multiple years ago. Just because you watched a show as a kid and liked it, doesn't mean you can't still like it as an adult.
@DIY The North Can you fuck off and go back to your repressive office building of purgatory please? I'm sure your attitude will be appreciated far more by the other lost souls there who were never allowed to have an imagination.
@DIY The North No,silly! It's meant for TV, not for children!
...But seriously though, Gravity Falls is NOT meant for little kids. In fact, It's probably one of the most grown up things Disney's ever made. And have you seriously not watched ANY Disney movies as an adult? If you say yes then you are a hypocrite, if no then you must be fun at parties. Seriously, It's time to realize nobody really grows up. The best days of your life for most people is in your childhood. You should always take the time to be a little more childish evry now and then.
3:08
The fact Brendon Urie said this makes it even funnier to watch
"love is not only blind... it's stupid."
he ain't wrong.
Time for my favourite joke:
There was a girl who I knew who was a kleptomainiac. She loved jokes though I had to explain puns a lot to her because she always took things literally.
i think literalist would be better
@@dobstan9448 woooohs
@@koolcid9710 ugh im slow, ignore my dumbass
Kool Cid r/therewasanattempttowhoooosh
@@plasmaticlmao *-Yes.-*
2:20
Imagine the robber going
"Gimme the money so I can get your guard a birthday cake!"
Video: Says “Hey Siri, what is 200?”
My phone: AnSwErS with I could not find any Taco Bell’s near you
You enjoyed this sub reddit a bit too much, I can tell.
Wow, you have atleast 5 likes
Wow you have at least 169 likes
Wow, you have Atleast 183 likes
Wow, you have at least 242 likes
Wow you have at least 261 likes
“Your rap name is ‘Young’ + something you carry with you wherever you go”
Young Gun
*Yea I’m a quiet kid*
Young existential dread
Young discord
Young Dildo
josh dun:How high are you
No one:
Literally nobody:
Not a single molecule in the universe:
That one kid: no, it’s high how r u
I’m dumb (￣▽￣)
JOSHHHHH
jishwa
jish
*trows clock out the window”
Me:TimE FlYs
Mom: leave
flies*
9:24
To add to that
Me: How is prison funded?
Government: ....by taxes
Me: and I can go to a place funded by taxes for the sole reason of not paying for people to go there?
Government: ......yes?
Me: makes sense
My favorite post like this is something like:
"According to all available evidence, I am immortal."
"What is this evidence??"
"Haven't died yet."
I don’t know why Neo was used for the meme at 5:06 but I’m not complaining
I was looking for this comment lolol
Same
It not the right way its rwby's way
finally a rwby fan
I was wondering if anyone would point that out
"You can't be an animal lover and a meat eater!"
You can if you love eating them
You are now immune to all “like to undo” comments
you’re welcome
My welcome what?
What is it? What happened to my welcome?
Thank God
My bad lol😂
No I'm not.
I'm a human
"I've never watched gravity falls I can only assume".........YOU HAVEN'T SEEN GRAVITY FALLS,
get this man a TV and no plans for the weekend asap 10:57
TV? What's that?
Can I get, "no plans for the weekend asap" at Walmart?
IT'S ON NETFLIX
Edit: In Ukraine, at least. But not in the UK
omfg yassssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2:08
The guy should've replied with: *"And yet, you don't seem to use either."*
2 hours
2 hours is the perfect amount of sleep because
· you are still tired
· you can't say that you didn't sleep
I’ve seen that Brendon and josh one cycling around and it makes me laugh every time
1:03
Dad: son come down stairs
Me: I’m coming *cheecks start clapping*
Technically this comment was made after watching the video even though I have watched 2 seconds
madlad
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
69 likes, man it's so nice that I can't like it now
Ban Y E E T os hey it should be 🅱️andYEETos 👌👌💯💯🗿🗿😎😎🤣🤣
@@AM-ux6ey lol
Hey Damien can we get some more cursed comments
Cursed
Cursed
@@muczkaplif y'all curse once more i'm gonna ban you from this server
tishafeed Cursed
Yes
6:09
Black Panther: I never *Blink*
Also Black Panther: *BLINKS*
This video literally made me have an existential crisis
(6:02) I've been to an escape room. - The door you enter through is unlocked at all times. They can't lock you in for plenty of legal reasons. But you can just pretend it is.
Human: A ghost controlling a brain inside a skeleton that’s covered in hairy meat that gets power from blood.
Damien: *claps* *OH BOY IT’S CHRISTMAS!*
Yes, it is about a butt
3:12 fellow emos rejoice that half of the quartet was featured in this video
YES
*happy emo noises*
Why are there so many of us
@@angelnoukie i appreciate your pfp
@@emo_weeb_stanie1019 thank you
We´re time travelling at one seconds per second
"Alright hold up a second"
"Ok you´re good"
I laughed to hard i almost peed myself
WAIT HE ACTUALLY REACTED TO THE TWEETS FROM JOSH AND BRENDON OMG
I love both of them so much
Also know brendon he probably was high
I was waiting for him to notice
I KNOW ITS GREAT
i wheezed
Mia Lisa Tufano yesssss
OMG THANK YOU FOR ADDING THE BRENDON URIE AND JOSH DUN ONE😂
Kylie MUA ikr
honestly we stan that
Wildrock Nations we do
Technically the turth: Australia is in the future by one day
Depending on where u live, this is incorrerre ct
What if you live in Australia 🤔
Not true
@@lordvoldemort5046 australia completes the year firsrt
5:12 is that a RWBY book of facts template why haven’t I seen this before?
NEO!
Look on r/fnki
yeyesyesyesyesyeeeess frickin Josh Dun and Brendon Urie
that was pretty sick 👏🅱👏🅱👏🅱👏🅱
pretty cool
HELL YEAH
Cømputercat1ØØ8 shut up
@@masonrobertstv5917 what's your problem?
If butt cracks were horizontal imagine an element school during dismissal on the last day of school
O h.
O h g o d
Zoie Pogoreski of course I can read it
Zoie Pogoreski we have eyes so we can read it
3:08 brendon and josh with their crazy shit again
MultiFanSarah i stan that
yep
3:10 When Beebo makes it in to one of Damien's videos 🖤🖤🖤
In fairness, "young student loan debt" is VERY intimidating name. If I had to pick who I'd want as my sworn enemy, "random violent douchebag" is far less intimidating than "CPS agent" or "Assistant District Attorney".
10:42
Young Bone Mech with Meat Armor
W H A T
Ok nice
@@giornogiovanna2008 *Son? Is that you?*
-underrated-
I've got so much meat armor. -not fat!-
I just realised.
1969 is when the moon landing happened.
19-69...nice
i have seen your pfp so many fucking times, is this the new oh yeah yeah
@@j3.199 oh yeah yeah it is
cursed being No it’s just to classify who’s unfunny for the funny people
This has 70 likes 1 too many
Did you know? They named the year 1969 because it came after the year 1968, how crazy!
80%: about Josh and Brendon
15%: about Neo from RWBY
5%: about weird shits
?
here's a fact the brain is the only organ that named it self
3:07
Me: :0
Me: bEeBo
Me: jIsH
Me: * happiness noise *
Damien: laughs
Everyone: He is the Messiah!
0:43
I love how he goes from a Karen voice, to a Damien voice
5:05
Its neo
Its nEo
It's NEo
It's NEO
*intense fangirling*
Neo is best girl change my mind
Last time I was this early, MCR was still together.
I think all the jokes about MCR are overused, but this was a good one.
@Joshua Korynta Why thank you.
[breathes in]
BOI
Sela Chan That band is terrible, lol
Rude
"You can't an animal lover and a meat eater!"
Saint Francis of Assisi was a well-known saint AND an animal lover. And he ate meat.
Same for, well, pretty much everyone, including people in animal care associations.
We are freaking omnivorous. Deal with it.
3:08
I just noticed that's Beebo and Jishwa. Makes it even better.
I Believe In Josh Dun
Movies are always gonna break "ticket sales"-records since the population growth rate is about 1.08% per year...
Base a movie's success on the population divided by the number of tickets sold. Have a nice day.
It's chirstmas morning at exactly 4:46 in the morning that comment was hilarious thanks for making my day even better
"Shakespeare never studied Shakespeare, and went on to become Shakespeare" is it just me or does your brain hurt if you try to think about this to much?
It makes sense in a way. There is no progression if you are doing the same actions as everyone else. Follow your own path and all that jazz. It's also Dave Ramsey's advice "If you want to be rich, be weird and not normal".
@@Numbers_Game I tried being "weird" and "not normal" and all I did was found a god panteon #dissapointed
well actually not at all its super simple
Nah, I just accept that it's true.
Nope. Makes sense to me. He's basically saying, Shakespeare didn't need to do what their trying to impose on him, to become as great as he became.
Episode IV is episode 4.
VI would be 6.
That was painful to hear
Jack Owen yea, the joke wouldnt make sense if it was 6
he posted it on the screen that it was 4 and he berated himself for it, so no need for you to do it again lol i think he is a bit dyslexic as he gets several things backwards especially on numbers in the videos ive watched anyway. :)
@@supposedly1-2 yes
K
At 8:13, that is actually correct. 230-220× 0.5= 120 which is 5!
5!= 1x2x3x4x5 = 120
5:05 When the meme is upgraded with an ice cream girl
My mom had a C-section so I have officially never been born.
Have a nice day
Whait what
Whait what
Vah Rudania well, considering you’re a divine robot …
Same
congrats on being able to kill macbeth
Fact: Cats don't say meow, they say wraw
Im so tempted to ask him to say my name is damien mamien just to know how it sounds in his voice
5:05 neo from rwby apears and my day is now 50 times better seeing the ice cream queen herself
That one about the Half Korean Girl got dark really quickly.
Can we take a moment to appreciate Neo from RWBY in there.
Yes we can because Neo is best RWBY girl