Drug Dealer Simulator
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- Опубликовано: 2 окт 2021
- Ever wanted to experience the glorious life of drug dealer? Well here's a simulator game just for you!
Play Drug Dealer Simulator ►► store.steampowered.com/app/68...
LISTEN TO DISTRACTIBLE ►► podlink.to/distractiblepodcast
Edited By ► / lixiantv
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Awesome Games Playlist ► • Awesome Games!
Happy Outro ► / minimusicman-crazy-la-... 
Игры
"From now on, I'm ya daddy, ya boss, ya fucking wife, all in one person."
Markiplier: "Convenient"
You know who else videos entertaining videos are also entertaining? Mine. Hundred percent u will die of laughter
Stop watching this Alex the movie is better
@Alex: The Movie @26 Mic ✌Convenient✌
Basically a shape-shifter
@@26mic24 bruh shuttup you just made a playlist called uploads and hid your sub count idk why people still do that
*“Drugs? You want ‘em, I’ve got ‘em.”*
Best opening to a video ever
I make extremely entertaining videos. I had to make you laugh and if not my mom will send me back to africa
I'm your pill provider
Lamp oil, rope, drugs, you want it. It's yours my friend as long as you have enough dough
@@Dinotron-rs4lu NO YOU BEAT ME TO IT
Yes
Mark: “WHY ARE YOU ALL ADDICTED TO SPEED?!”
Mark (earlier): “Free sample?… Free sample? …. Free sample?”
Your deserve top comment for this one.
16:53
MARK: "was that a police?"
"IM CALLING THE WEED"
such a good vine
“420 whatcha smokin'?”
"All the simulators I've played before were crappy."
*Power Wash Simulator and Bee Simulator crying in the background*
RIGHT like excuse me Mark how DARE you
is streamer simulator good aswell?
@@broodingsoap9469 It is extremely unpolished
@@ee3171 but is it good?
Whats funny is he said that exact thing when starting Bee simulator lol
"The state dislikes criminals, but it HATES debtors." YIKES that is accurate.
Truth 💯
Most of the big drug dealers I have known get more time for the tax evasion than the actual drug dealing.
You file taxes over your drug income? Good on you for being a good tax payer, thanks have a good day.
You don't file taxes on your drug dealer income? LMAO 3 years in prison and also, this is how we found out you have drug income in the first place 🙃
@@paisleesheppard5629 yup, that sounds about right. I remember seeing a story from the mid 90s I believe it was where some state (Arizona I believe) was handing out licenses to sell marijuana. Your income had to be taxed and some other stuff. They thought it would be a deterrent and another way to stick it to pot dealers. What they didn't count on was pot dealers actually using it as a way to make their business legit. Crazy story, if I can find the video I'll post the link.
America pushes debt, not necessarily hating it if they get money out of it
Just rewatched this, and noticed there's a joke Mark never realized. "- This game's got some polish to it!" Then just after reading: "Enjoy the kurwa view". Literally, some Polish to it...
Yea lmaooo 🤣🤣🤣 it was funny how he said kurwa
Yes!
Well most of the names in the intro are polish and also as a lithuanian that shit was funny
"don't withdraw or add too much money"
mark: "oh ok then better not do that."
Also mark: *withdraws $500*
😊😊😅
nah withdrawing is fine just untaxed income going into the account
The fact that Mark was muted during the clip in which he got arrested somehow made the clip so much funnier.
mark where it is so i can get to it every time😫✋
It's not very realistic but the premise is similar to the real deal
He had the right to remain silent
nobody heard what happened
11:22 🚔
Beginning mark: “I do not condone drugs. Drugs are bad.”
Literally ten minutes later: “I AM A DRUG LORD”
hi
how are you doing
@@alientm9249 me?
im doing good how about u
@@alientm9249
And how about you?
I’m good. How bout u?
@@alientm9249 o”
l
“The amphedamines are in my right pocket and the maraHUWAna is in my left”
I love how he says "Bartek" 😆
Also, all the Polish details make me so happy
Teżżż, Boże kochany to jest przepiękne XD
WEŹ jak zauważyłam te wszystkie imiona na początku to ryczeć mi się chciało 🥹🥹🥹 ze szczęścia ofc
"I'm your daddy, boss, and wife all in one person"
"convenient!"
That’s the attitude we like to see!
Tactical gadgets have been taking over the world I see.....
Definitely a top moment in the episode, for me XD
like bruh 😭🤣
"ok thanks daddymommywife" 🤣😂
It's gonna be a miracle if this doesn't get demonitized.
@@rengoku2786 Flagging you for spam.
I make entertaining vids just like mark . I bet 100% it’ll make u laugh. If not you can come to tell me
@@26mic24 nice
@@26mic24 joined 1 week ago, no subs, videos on channel aren't even yours, advertising in comment section, yeah.. seems legit
i was thinking that the second i saw the title
Maark! if you ever run outta ideas please come back to this! Theres so much you can do in this game! Buy villas, grow your own supply. make/mix your own supply. run your own cartel. over take gangs.
game of life be like when u dont have family
"I am now an established drug lord" 11:34 my favorite Mark quote
Mom:“Hey sweetie what you watching there?”
Kid: “watching markiplier deal drugs”
Learn to type
@@nekosanestacado8661 I mean, you don't have to be rude.
@@nekosanestacado8661 Learn to shut up.
Now I want Mac ‘n’ cheese
I just did that lol
In all honesty, if a drug dealer just yelled at someone saying "WOULD YOU LIKE SOME DRUGS" in broad daylight people would probably just think it's a prank or something.
i knew a dealer like that... it was like he lost his mind he just walked around broad day crowded streets in manhattan saying "drugs drugs! got some weed!" and handed them out like he was selling concert tickets or something it was wild.
That's just called an open market
I would think it's friends joking
I'd be thinking it's a cop 😆
Go walk on Vegas strip get to a certain point you’ll pass the dudes who are audibly mentioning names of drugs or slang as you pass by
“The state dislikes criminals, but it hates debtors.” Dang, dude. Didn’t come her for wisdom.
Mark: Focused on his mission.
Also Mark: *Leaves all doors open so anyone could walk in at any time and see him doing shady stuff*
"Have you ever wanted to deal with drugs?"
Now THATS real Markiplier content
BroU know who else videos entertaining videos are also entertaining? Mine. Hundred percent u will die of laughter
thought this was drug dealing then dealer assiplier happened
@@26mic24 nah
@@26mic24 stop self promoting on other people videos
Sounds exactly like him
Markiplier: *sells insane amounts of speed to everyone*
Also Markiplier "why are you guys all addicted to speeeeed?!"
Your profile pic is my school chrome book background so I’m legally obligated to say it’s good XD
Trust me, those are rookie numbers relative to numbers I’ve come across in this game. Later down the line, you’re selling dozens of grams of heroin to people and ordering cocaine by the kilos
@@tornadospin9 wtf man 😂😂💀
@@tornadospin9 damn, this game is pretty realistic-
Cause Speed is Key!!!
id like to mention that out of almost all the sim games the drug dealer sim has the nicest starting house.
Eddie: -or your ass is dead like fckin fried chicken.
Mark: **insert pikachu surprised face**
“Say no to drugs!”
“Say yes to drugs!”
“It doesn’t matter if you say yes or no to drugs. ‘Cause if you’re talking to drugs…….then you’re on drugs”
underrated
😂🤣🤣thats so true
You were probably on drugs when you thought this
lmfao my dude, lmfao
@@Emanuele_Polisena naw, just something I heard in a video. Thought it was appropriate
I love how Lixian is showing off his baby like the proud father he is
HES A FATHER!
As he should
Wait Lixian is with child
@@ironslayergaming8384 Yeah he just became a father for not that long ago
@@piemeow9072 He became a father for not that long again 😂
"there's no audio to it."
Me: "maybe not, but if I've been watching your videos forever now, you audibly yelled "oh no! Oh mah God!!" 🤣🤣
Mark's commentary makes him sound like he is an undercover cop trying to act like a drug dealer.
Yeah, he's like the most polite drug dealer ever 😂
Could i intrest you in one weed please?
very true
@@omg_cat4203 why yes, I love the wacky tebaccy
@@mx_nana_banana 🤣haven't heard that in a while
Bob: "Brother wife Mark, meet your new father wife boss."
dad husband brother mark
What?
@@CoreyVonBloch It's a joke from their Raft playthrough
Dont tell cousin sister wade
THIS IS PERFECT
I love to watch Mark play Polish games, the way he tries to pronounce words in my language is so funny❤
Mark is acting like what I'd act like if I was a drug dealer 💀 "YOU WANT SOME DRUGS?!"
I'd be so nervous about what I would be doing
"Mara-juan-a" - the way Mark pronounces marijuana
Half the people in this game have the most random last name I would've assumed they were undercover cops omg 💀
I 100% need more of this game.
And Mark creeping up to ppl whisperingl: "hey anyone want some DRUGS?"
Superb
Most agreeable
seems you count as one of his addicted customers
Markiplier: _gets busted easily because everyone wants his autograph on the baggies_
😃
yes
This seems like a FANTASTIC game to start a 10 episode series on.
Yes please!
Can you auctally post you playing it on your channel id watch it!
@@rovksshow7733 yo same profile picture
Yes
Agreed!
love the details in the game, at 21:14 u can hear in apartaments polish people talking.
Please come back to this game !! this is one of my favorite markiplier videos !!
"Why is everyone addicted to SPEED?"
Mark you've literally been selling them speed.
@Hunterkage Joestar got cocaine from jack years ago must have been how he was so energetic in his videos and it was for a cheap price left my wallet at home and he took a banana i snatched from the ground as payment
I guess you could say they have a need for speed.
*Badum tss*
Don't do drugs, kids! 😀👍🏾
No one cares
This has to be a series. The game is massive and very complex. This game is not like other simulators, this is legit an adventure.
We can only pray
Could always just deal drugs and play IRL
Yeah
I agree mark should do more of this
I agree
It’s cool seeing how much this game evolved from when this video released
We need a part 2
Mark: “I am a drug dealer”
-----------
Eddie: “doobie?”
Mark: “doobie doo”
Sweet baby Jesus 🤣
Sour adult Jesus
Scooby dooby doo, where are you!
U know who else videos entertaining videos are also entertaining? Mine. Hundred percent u will die of laughter
Doobie doobie do ba doobie doobie do ba ~agent p~~
dealiplier for sure hooking up the drugs with the drugies i love streaming
Mark: “pretty much all the other simulator games I’ve played are sucky.”
Power washing Sim: “Am I a joke to you?”
He said preatty much. Obviously we all love and pray to PW sim every night.
@@fusion8092 that game is extremely underrated ;)
Robbery simulator wasn’t too bad either
I cant believe he done Swamp Simulator like that
yes
This is one of my favorite Let’s plays. I really hope he makes more of these. He seemed to really enjoy them
I love the tiny Polish accents hidden in the game 😂 The swearword "ku*wa" appearing few times as graffiti, some customers with Polish names and one time I even heard people speak Polish somewhere in the background 😁
I could never see Markiplier being an Actual Drug Dealer 😂
*MARKIPLIER IS G/-\RBAGE*
*I M/-\KE BETTER UPL0ADS*
How does this already get for replies in like 27
*¢αη ι gєт 1 ѕυв вєƒσяє тσмσяяσω?* ⠀😢
ʕ•ﻌ/,,
I could
*MARKIPLIER IS G/-\RBAGE*
*I M/-\KE BETTER UPL0ADS*
Mark: "Why are you all addicted to speed?!?"
Also Mark: *Giving Free Samples in the dark.*
"hello would you like some drugs?"
1:10 alarm clock type beat
I can tell from personal experience that watching Mark sell weed while under the influence of weed is a really fun thing to do lolll
Mark to random lady: "Hello, would you like some drugs?"
Me: "And this is why Mark could never be a successful drug dealer"
You know who else videos entertaining videos are also entertaining? Mine. Hundred percent u will die of laughter
Yeah, he'd get caught so quick
Stop watching this Alex the movie is better
@@26mic24 Imagine spamming comment sections with ads
@@26mic24 stop
"I'm having a good time selling drugs, and now that quote exists on the internet forever." -Markiplier
Now it exists even more forever 👍
@@birb6474 forever-er.
Don't forget, it was actually "I'm having a good time..... selling drugs....... and now that quote exists on the internet forever..." 😂 Couple of pauses where he really contemplated what he was saying and continued to say it anyway
I have no idea why, but watching Mark play games is a bigger TRY NOT TO LAUGH challange than the actual ones. This is pure gold
not taking that doobie hurt me in some way i cant imagine
Eddie: “I’m your dad, your boss, your wife”
Mark: “convenient”
Hol up
Reminds me of Raft and Mark's sister/wife/cousins Wade and Bob.
"I'm what a lot of people call a 'switch'."
@@2dheethbar 😧
@@thevelociraptorqueenway8596
(・⌓・)
The phrase he’s trying to think of in the beginning of the video is “don’t get high on your own supply”
Also, Markiplier: this game is “dope” as hell
Mark listened to Frank's advice, that's for sure.
Oof
I read this as markiplier said "this is dope as hell"
Speed is indeed key
Mark pronouncing Bartek as Bar Tech is the greatest thing ever
its not pronounced that way?
help girl. girl girl help. help. how is it actually pronounced. girl- help girl. girl help
@@BowTieCrow It's pronounced a bit different actually
Helpful
WE WANT MORE DRUG DEALER SIMULATOR!!!
WE WANT MORE SIMULATOR GAMES IN GENERAL!!!
"Why are you guys all addicted to speeed" *is handing out speed to strangers*
I like your username
@@thecreepygoth same
@gtoss chddy he technically didnt do the drug tho
“Why are you all addicted to speed??” - Markiplier to drug addicts
Because. “SPEED IS KEY!!!”
Speed/amphetmines are literally what they give you for ADHD. Mark takes “Adderall”, which is a combination of levo-amphetamine and dextro-amphetamine. People who have ADHD can’t get high off it though, so it’s not like he’s using it recreationally.
@@user-qy3jq9kr1d he’s actually mentioned before how he’s replaced using it with exercise after trying it out and talking to his doctor, idk if he started back on it or not, just my 2 cents
@@user-qy3jq9kr1d Seriously, though, I take adderall daily for ADHD and I can't comprehend that people get high off of it. Like I understand that they do, just can't comprehend it. And they're people who are addicted to it, too, meanwhile I'll simply *forget* to take it in the morning.
@@user-qy3jq9kr1d it is true some contain adderal, however the most common ones are
methylphenidate.
lisdexamfetamine.
dexamfetamine.
atomoxetine.
guanfacine.
This is coming from someone with ADHD
The first 30 secs:
Me, looking for 0.2 seconds of interjection opportunity: "Wh-w-wh-WHAT I THINK MY CLIENT IS TRYING TO SAY your honor, is that......"
Mark: dumps all points into Quick Learner
Also Mark: how do I make fOuR wEeD
I love the part where mark says "it's dealing time" and dealed all over the place
NEVER HAPPENED! PEOPLE NEED TO STOP THE MORBIN TIME THING
@@weylincarpenter6870 no it happened.ur cappin
@@aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa0 gigachad never existed its just a ai created face gigachad isnt a rea person
@@weylincarpenter6870 Bro you're just jealous 💀 He is real, get over it nerd.
Dealius is one of the movies of all time
Okay Lixian holding his baby while he’s editing this is honestly the most wholesome thing I’ve ever seen
LIXIAN IS A FATHER?
Lixian: Yeah, I can watch the baby
His wife: what Markiplier video you editing?
Lixian: his drug dealer simulator
His wife: sounds good
@@vyxenmyxen5650
Wife: this is fine
You’ve said that in a different video too. Stop
I love it xD
"From now on, I'm you daddy, your boss, your wife all in one person."
Mark: "Convenient"
*wait WHAT*
He's right.
lmfao
He's got a point.
what does he mean by convenient
The narrator sounds like a energetic version of Chills
His commentary is literally the thoughts of a beginner drug dealer.
Congratulations you have been selected among three lucky winner's text me on....
how do you know that 👀
@@fukkthisnewupdate8882 cuz i was greedy and down bad. i was 16 at the time, i trapped for like a month but didnt get anywhere plus the risk wasnt worth it. now im a day trader, still learning the ropes.
Markiplier in bee simulator: "i may be incredibly high but im pretty sure bees don't have libraries"
Markiplier in drug dealer simulator: "I don't do drugs"
I thought the same thing!
Love this comment right on the money
Lixian holding his baby is so wholesome
I make extremely entertaining videos. I had to make you laugh and if not my mom will send me back to africa
Ikr its so cute!
my mind cant understand why hes holding a baby
@CLaura He had a baby
Mark makes some of the most entertaining content on RUclips with a doubt! We're always so happy to see that video notification since all his videos make our days better. He's a true inspiration and while we may only have a few thousand subs, we hope our videos can entertain on the scale his do one day. If you're reading this we hope you stay happy, healthy, and blessed!❤
8:45 - Johnny looks like the love child of John Lennon and Reece Shearsmith! 😂
Mark can you please do more of this? Make it a series this was fun!
"So I'm a little ahead"
"I'm an established drug lord now "
Nice pfp
"Why are you guys all addicted to speeeeddd?!"
*Mark handing out free samples of speed to everyone 10 minutes ago*
Lmao
i jus wanna bi fest liek sanic man
Feng min
No one touch it, the likes are at 420
cant like due to the likes dude
I honestly want to see Mark revisit this game just because as somebody with a chronic illness whose had to rely on various chemicals, the jokes in this episode hit home .. like. a LOT :)
my god ive already watched this vid like 8 months ago yet the highlighted hand cuffs keep making mem think this is a new one and ive fell for it atleast 3 times
So one thing this simulator doesn’t show is that other criminals will often rob drug dealers because they have lots of money on them and it’s not like Drug dealers can just call the cops.
'911 what's your emergency?'
"Yea someone came down to my weed farm and stole all my money"
Very true, that's why they get guns and start turf wars😅
"Hey, so I know making and selling drugs is illegal, but this other guy who also makes and sells drugs just stole from me. So he's being extra illegal and you should arrest him and not me."
Yeah this game is a watered down PG version of drug dealing but I think that’s kinda what makes it fun, in real life drugs are bad lolz
I dunno, man
You're being kinda sus
Mark: Listen here, Amy... **Becomes Drug Lord**
this is pure meme material
*Breaking bad theme starts*
Certified hood classic
@@blu_nades EaThAn We NeEd To CoOk
This makes me miss that old PC game in the late 90's Drug Wars I think it was called, it was more text based.
It was fun as a kid playing it, something that was like taboo.
@Markiplier, please make this into a series if you have the time. This game is very intricate and your playstyle and commentary made the 38 minute video seem like it lasted 10 minutes. Very well made. Cheers to you.
"I don't do drugs myself, I don't use what I grow."
Press X to doubt
Yeah yeah, thats what they all say…
Press G to show disrespect
@@Indian0Lore press F to pay respects
haha
Don't get high on your own suply, is the saying that Mark was thinking about.
Mark: "So... I went a little ahead."
Also Mark: *become drug lord*
Thats the equivalent of.. "so I did a little bit of adjustments to my minecraft house"
@@asimkiyumi5914 "I did some mining off camera"
I think it would be funny if he did a voice over/mock himself as he plays the video of how he got "a little ahead".
I know what I must do Now! 😳🤑
Ya know...I'm just a grown woman watching a grown man play drug dealer simulator while eating my smiley potatoes and plant-based popcorn chicken. I'm learning a lot about the drug dealin's.
Sitting in 2024 waiting for him to revisit this masterpiece and become a drug lord
Mark: "You can GROW POCKETS!?"
Every woman everywhere: *jealous*
Just grow them 4head
😂
Markiplier: I deal drugs, not do them
Lawyer: kicks marks leg "dude!-"
The judge and jury: .
Lol underrated comment
Thank you Mark for finding this game, coming back to rewatch after buying awhile back, currently at 244 hours.
Also don't get high on your own supply. (Scarface 1983)
Mark: "I don't do the drugs I deal"
The thumbnail: *says otherwise*
"why are you all addicted to speed?!?"
*Proceeds to give anyone who breathes air free speed*
I love how Lixian is including his baby in the animations now. It’s so wholesome and cute!
Especially when drugs are involved haha!
@@Karatekat314 That's how you get them to sleep through the night.
Does lixian have a kid now? Or is it just random? Sorry I haven't really been keeping up lol
@@treebean9804 yup
awww lixian has a kid? thats awesome
I wish marki played more of this tbh its fun to watch
cant wait for this game to come out on vr
i love the starting music lmao
this game is so fun!
mark: “ive never done drugs-“
also mark in the bee game: “i may be incredibly high!”
Somebody said it 👀 lol
i swear he’s a pot head 😂
bee* 😏
Must be his new ADHD meds
@@karissaruud459 one day he’ll expose his setup and we’ll just see a bottle of eye drops and then we know 😂😂
Why is no one talking about Lixian holding his baby in the edits? That’s the most wholesome thing I’ve ever seen man
I want to know too
since when does lixian have a baby?
a lot of people have been talking about it, but yeah it's really sweet
@@someone-xx6qz he made a tweet about it, it’s a pretty recent change but Lixian is officially a father now
Aww he even has the same hairstyle
31:31
I laughed way too hard at this XD
8:11 “stored in a magic cloud under gods pillow” never thought about it that way but you know… accurate
Mark doesn't get high off his own supply, A true man of culture and honor.
Underrated comment lol
@@elicassimir5878 I’m underrated too kuz You know who else videos entertaining videos are also entertaining? Mine. Hundred percent u will die of laughter
@@26mic24 lol
He did it so much he gained immunity to his own supply.
Ya man never test the merch
Mark: “who’s talking to me”
Don’t you know that all drug dealers are born with an internal speaker that plays sick beats and gives them commands?
You know who else videos entertaining videos are also entertaining? Mine. Hundred percent u will die of laughter g
Just like at the career fair at school if you can make the TVs go to static, you become an axe murderer.
@@-G-a-b-r-i-e-l Sadly this bot is seen on SoG's videos, Calebcity, Longbeachgriffy, and many more. Wish google/youtube would finally do something about them.
1:51 i'm not even surprised that Polish people made this game
Mark: "I don't use what I sell"
"Yesterday you got so fucked up, that even I forgot where the keys are"
Markiplier: all the other simulator games have been really really crappy.
Power wash simulator: EXCUSE ME?
PowerWash Simulator: *noises of absolute betrayal*
Every simulator game from 2021: sounds of pain and betrayal
Bee simulator: “They have all been fooled but me”
"I got drugs, you got money, we got a deal. Hi, drug dealer Markiplier here" was going through my head almost the entire first minute
XD Mark's always the best
Buddy are we gonna talk about the fact ya comment was replied in an other comment section by à bot?-
@@deadlynightcross3082 ????!
@@iamhere5018 yeah , a bot just steal ur comment and replied it in an other comment section 🤣
And even the two bots in this comment sections had steal the comments of other people-
Please play more of this!!!! I’ve been dying for more simulation games from you!!!!!💓💓💓💓💓💓💓
Mark you should start a series up again I think it would be awesome! PS huge fan for years.