Oh my gay I just remembered something There was this one day where I needed to pee A LOT. Like I peed around 5 times in the space of an hour and I was like 'wtf?? I haven't even drank anything' Then I remembered this thing I saw about symptoms of stress and how one of them was peeing a lot and I was like 'O H'
Ope, well I mean after phil said it for some reason, I can totally see him having his own toilet cleaning company and calling it lester’s toilet cleaning company haha
I'M LAUGHING SO HARD. RIGHT AS HE DID THE "KISSED SOMEONE MARRIED" HE SEGWAYED RIGHT INTO "ALRIGHT WELL...HERE'S THE THING" AND I GOT AN AD Hdafhadfhdafh THAT WAS THE MOST COMICAL MOMENT I'VE EVER WITNESSED FROM PHIL LOL
No one: Not a single soul: Phil: I don't have a sugar daddy. I've never had a sugar daddy. If I wanted a sugar daddy, yes, I could probably go out and get one because I am what? Sickening! You could never have a sugar daddy because you are not that kind of girl. Baby everything I've had, I've worked for and I've gotten myself. I built myself from the ground up, you ducking witch!
"might as well just title this video pee" my stupid immiture sense of humour made me laugh at this for a good five minutes. i just kept thinking about how out of context it would be getting a notification: _amazingPhil just uploaded: _*_P e e_*
Phil: never have I ever kissed someone married? Me: Phil won't have done that he's too pure Phil: so here's the thing... Me: MCFRICKENSCUSE ME?! Edit 1.2k LIKES?! HOW THE FLUFF?!
The sugar daddy quote Phil wouldn’t say: “I don't have a sugar daddy, I've never had a sugar daddy. If I wanted a sugar daddy, yes, I probably can go out and get one, because I AM WHAT? SICKENING. You could never have a sugar daddy because you are NOT. THAT. KIND. OF. GIRL. Baby, everything I've had I worked for, and I've gotten myself. I built myself from the ground up, F*CKING B*TCH!” Thank you for coming to my TED Talk 😂😂
*Never have I ever kissed someone married* “That’s a dodgy one to admit to if you’re playing this in a group. Okay, here’s the thing-“ **insert ad about Trump here**
When he says "lots of things are going through my head: I'm gay, she's twice my age, I need to pee..." I love how naturally he just says it (maybe someday I can be that natural saying it too hopefully) also that's the most relatable thought process I've ever heard
@@maggiemccauslin1084 I think that's what we're seeing? I don't know for sure, I just assumed that if he stopped dying it black it's his natural color now
“kissed someone married... that’s a dodgy thing to admit to....
here’s the thing.”
I'm wheezing that's so true
Why is no one talking about his hair?? Like?? It’s not black anymore, and it looks friggin amazing
It does look amazing.
Yeah he addressed it in one of his live streams. It’s pretty great
He still dyes it black but not as much as he used to,
Briana Duran where can you watch the live streams?
I was like woah I forgot black isn’t his natural color. I love it! Such a nice auburn/brown.
Moral of the story: University Phil went through a Lot
that's just how uni is
yep
I read “moral of the story” exactly when Phil said it
Phil kissing a woman about to be married just so he can pee is such a Phil thing. I stan.
BlockyLZ seeing this comment with no context is jarring
BlockyLZ read this before watching the video.
I just clicked on this video and this is the first thing I see...
Why hello there 😂😂
Alex Bancroft hello. Lmao people are liking my comment and I am scared. But you know I stand by my statement. I stan.
“I’m gay”
“She’s twice my age”
“I have to pee.”
My three modes
I am all three all the time
I feel this on an emotional level.
Oh my gay I just remembered something
There was this one day where I needed to pee A LOT. Like I peed around 5 times in the space of an hour and I was like 'wtf?? I haven't even drank anything'
Then I remembered this thing I saw about symptoms of stress and how one of them was peeing a lot and I was like 'O H'
mood
Lesbians who like older women and water sports... nevermind I cannot finish the thought
i’m gonna make “hit me up for some pancake lovin” my new tinder bio
peach xo 😆
i like how you never actually answered “killed someone” lol where’s dan
I'm laughing so hard right now you don't understand
"where's dan" sdsfhkljdsl
/where's dan/
OH MY GOSH IM CACKLING
_where’s dan?_
running tf away from being in vidcon by going to la alone
U made me actually laugh instead of breathe air out of my nose rly hard
Game: "Never have I ever kissed someone married"
Phil: "That's a dodgy thing to admit to"
...
Phil: "Okay here's the thing..."
I got an ad right after that line and lost my shit lmao
Slurp Dirt
BRO S A M E
Slurp Dirt OMG I read this and then when I got to that part I got an add lol!
“What toilet cleaner are you?”
Phil Lester everybody
Never heard of that brand of toilet cleaner. Sounds useful.
Ope, well I mean after phil said it for some reason, I can totally see him having his own toilet cleaning company and calling it lester’s toilet cleaning company haha
@@Faith-qh7js xD...
I self identify as a plunger
"Never have I eve not cleaned my teeth for 48 hours"
Phil "Ewww gross!"
Laughs in depressed
Ha try two weeks. These days I'm worried about starting to brush them daily again in case they get tooth whiplash and dissolve or something
*_THIS!_*
Toothpaste makes me gag so I don’t brush my teeth everyday cause I am afraid I will throw up one of these time
@@ghost-bc1fn girl chill it's not a competition.
lol same. but hey i’m about to take a shower right now! :D progress.
Hearing Phil say “I’m gay” so casually during an answer made me really proud for some reason
i literally went "🥺"because he's out and it's not a rumour anymore
I'm still so proud of him for finally feeling comfortable enough to come out 🥺🥺
🥺🥺🥺
@@daydreams-of-death Of course...isn't everybody!
It's so cathartic to hear someone you've loved for years be so out there and proud
never have i ever: eaten dan’s cereal
kayleigh guscott this is an underrated comment
he would never commit such a horrendous crime
metaphoricbirds ohh never you’d have to be a mad lad to do such a thing
lol
kayleigh guscott oh boy that sure would be scandalous wouldn’t it
" im gay
shes twice my age
i need to pee"
those are the only thoughts that go through my head
many thoughts head full
Skinni
Me @ my band teacher 😂
“yeah i totally smoked 9 weeds while making out with a supermodel and skipping class.... 𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐝"
this is most of the people in my school
Same
oh yeah? But did they do it NAKED??
Isabel A. knowing some of the guys, probably
Let’s all be honest, there probably was a man in Phil’s shed, and that man was probably Daniel Howell looking for some editing tips.
A M phil trash number one 😌
@@shmudkip IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW
I wanna like this but it's at 69 again
@@brooklyn9923 I love your cooking show!
@@nessalossehelim5026 thanks! Real shame about the ending tho ngl
*Don’t think we didn’t notice u avoiding the “killed someone” question Philip*
*hey whats up you guys yes*
@@MrsLois29 why are you replying that to everyone
@@mysterysunfurled do you not get the joke lol
*where the hell is dan*
@@MrsLois29 s h a n e
“Never have I ever doubted my heterosexuality”
Everyone: hA
Phil: bold of you to assume I had heterosexuality to question
"Kissed someone married"
Me: there's no way he's done that
Phil: wait actually...
@@knockoffcelina holy cheese balls! Gracias!!!
Phil: have I ever killed someone. Imagine if I said yes.
Doesn’t say no
no one:
not even dan:
phil: over the new year... PERIOD
merakj “not even dan” Y E S
SOBS PHIL LESTER IM NOT OK-
I love how freely Phil can now say the words "I'm gay" On camera it's adorable
Website: never have I ever kissed someone MARRIED
Phil: so here’s the thing...
Me: wHaT!!
phil you didn’t answer the killing someone question where the hell is dan
CRAFTASTIC DIY oh... no... PHIL WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
*hey whats up you guys yes*
Phil: I just didn't want creepy people whispering pancake into my ear
Me: *ELIZA*
HIS UNIVERSITY TRAUMATIC PRANK WAS A GLIMPSE OF THE FUTURE.
PANCAKES WAS ALWAYS THERE. AND ALWAYS WILL BE. NO ONE CAN ESCAPE
I MISS
and peggy....
He never clarified he DIDNT have a sugar daddy
he IS the sugar daddy
I was thinking of those delicious caramel suckers.
Tim Allen he’s dan’s sugar daddy
Harold from the creepy email came really close to suggesting becoming his sugar daddy. Does that count?
is £2000 meal not a proof ???
I'm so scandalous, I've kissed someone who's married. My husband.
*gasp*
Le gasp
Oh my!
The village elders will hear of this!
*gAsP*
* Never have I ever kissed someone...married *
“Okay here’s the thing...”
* ad *
*ME: WHAT HAPPENED*
Sameee
bruh an ad that was about a web toon or something but it was talking about cheating 😭
oop i have ad blocker (but i will say for half a sec i was thinkng... THEYRE MARRIED THEYRE MARRIED THEYRE MARRIED...) *cough* *cough* i mean WHAT
SophiaLondon I mean I truly think they are going to reveal somthing in 2020.
@@BenjiNights ME TOO DHFDSFJSLFJ
I'M LAUGHING SO HARD. RIGHT AS HE DID THE "KISSED SOMEONE MARRIED" HE SEGWAYED RIGHT INTO "ALRIGHT WELL...HERE'S THE THING" AND I GOT AN AD Hdafhadfhdafh THAT WAS THE MOST COMICAL MOMENT I'VE EVER WITNESSED FROM PHIL LOL
Same i was like WAHT HE DO and then i got two ads
@@kiaraloonen2154 LMFAO SAME WIG
The website: Never have I ever kissed someone married.
Phil: okay so here's the thing-
*ad pops up*
never have i ever doubted my heterosexuality
phil: *gay laughter*
No one:
Not a single soul:
Phil: I don't have a sugar daddy. I've never had a sugar daddy. If I wanted a sugar daddy, yes, I could probably go out and get one because I am what? Sickening! You could never have a sugar daddy because you are not that kind of girl. Baby everything I've had, I've worked for and I've gotten myself. I built myself from the ground up, you ducking witch!
i’m chortling
I understand this reference, and I love it
the _fact_ that phil hearted this
I freaking love you so much for that
OMG YES😫✊️👏👏👏 i STaN ShAnGELa
"might as well just title this video pee"
my stupid immiture sense of humour made me laugh at this for a good five minutes. i just kept thinking about how out of context it would be getting a notification:
_amazingPhil just uploaded: _*_P e e_*
Josieee I love that
THIS needs more likes. I don't laugh often, but my sleep-deprived ass just took a good 3-5 minutes to laugh while a single tear rolled down my cheek
Sameee
Peen by Crank
@@shadowcattt *P E E SAUNA*
No one:
Phil: over the new year
P E R I O D
periodt
"Yeah I totally smoked nine weeds while kissing a supermodel while skipping class... NAKED!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣
That needs to be on a t-shirt!
No one:
Not a single soul:
Phil: EVER FINGERED YOUR MOUTH?
new: people around world are currently changing their password at lightning speeds after being exposed
I like how this is saying that most Phil fans use the password "password".
acegeek tbh there was a time where i couldn’t come up with a password so i did use password LOL
“Let’s see how dirty we- OH.”
“Also no comment.”
This is why we stan Phil
"doubted my heterosexuality" whats that? we dont speak hetero here luv
yasmin what is this...hetero... you speak of?
something only the Straight™ understand i think. can't relate tho
Phil: never have I ever kissed someone married?
Me: Phil won't have done that he's too pure
Phil: so here's the thing...
Me: MCFRICKENSCUSE ME?!
Edit
1.2k LIKES?! HOW THE FLUFF?!
I love that he had a story for that, luckily that would just be a plain no from most people^^
Was anyone else so confused for a bit when he just said PERIOD in the middle of a sentence? 0:02.
He meant the new year period of time lol
I understand the context he was using it in but I’ve been watching him for so long that I honestly wouldn’t even notice at this point
Period as in time period ... not like PERIODT lol
Nikisha Reddy I wish it was 😂
Period doesn't mean the punctuation here. That's a full stop.
And 'period' has a lot of other meanings e.g. 'a period of time'
phil: mom im about to fall into a volcano help me!!!!
phil’s mom: okay but what are you wearing phil?
Also Phil: Pyjamas
"Uh, khakis."
“Fondling”
“Pee”
“Tongue session”
“Can you stop having sex outside my window, Mr. Fox?”
Good heavens what is this video
Rated R this video
he is truly a mad lad
the maddest of the laddests
It's 2020 Phil and you better be scared
Charlotte Kwong don’t forget suductivley whispering “pancakes “
"lots of things went though my mind: *im g a y* "
i really felt that one
Oof same
Bi Clikkie same lmao
your profile picture is perfection
@@missbeliever9105 your user is superior tho
My brain: his hair is different his hair is different HiS HAir IS DIFFERENT
that was LITERALLY THE FIRST THING I NOTICED
That’s why I clicked. I loved his black hair.
*"Pervy self-butt fondler"*
Is my new go-to insult
And yes, cats do chase people.
;-;
The sugar daddy quote Phil wouldn’t say: “I don't have a sugar daddy, I've never had a sugar daddy. If I wanted a sugar daddy, yes, I probably can go out and get one, because I AM WHAT? SICKENING. You could never have a sugar daddy because you are NOT. THAT. KIND. OF. GIRL. Baby, everything I've had I worked for, and I've gotten myself. I built myself from the ground up, F*CKING B*TCH!” Thank you for coming to my TED Talk 😂😂
Sarah Brown YES THANK YOU
"One of the most angry I got"
Ah yes a single angry
this yodelling pickle in the background.... i didn’t miss it
Is no one going to mention that “dyed the bath water” refers to coloring for a bubble bath?
Or a bath bomb for that matter. Piss water...
@@CloudsAndDays a piss bomb
Phil: Never Have I Ever!
Me: ... shown us the pure ginger
“Have you ever doubted your heterosexuality”
*stares at Phil*
1:56 “i could do the whole drag race quote right now” PLEASE
this video is not titled “Pee” i’m disappointed
A- are we going to mention the fact that he didn't say he *hadn't* killed someone?
...so where's dan?? did phil kill him?? hahah.. just kidding... unless????
Running title “let’s talk about my pee stories”
Uni Phil was a wildcard and I want all the stories
no one:
literally not even one soul:
phil: pee,,, amirite
underrated
"Never have I ever, Dyed the bath water"
Me: oh like bath bombs?
Phil: pEe
🤦🏻♀️
Never has Phil ever single handedly held up the entire phandom
“period” phil has evolved
phil: dodges question about killing someone
the entire internet: WE’RE GONNA FRAME YOU FOR MURDER
I read this as John Mulany's voice in my head.
*hey whats up you guys yes*
"So I said 'why are you doing this?'"
@@Not-a-Clitori-a-ClitorUS and they said "Because we're Delta Airlines, and life is a fucking nightmare~"
The John Mulaney references are strong with this comment section
‘yeah i totally smoked nine weeds’ phil has never done drugs, has he.
It was a joke
:) i know
What do you mean? He smoked 9 weeds!
is that a weed
chris is that a weed
*Never have I ever kissed someone married*
“That’s a dodgy one to admit to if you’re playing this in a group. Okay, here’s the thing-“
**insert ad about Trump here**
mine was “WHY DO RIDICULOUS DEALS NEED RIDICULOUS ADVERTS”
that moment when you’re gay and need to pee and some random woman says she needs to kiss you
Phil: Why is every question about pee?
Me: People have weird kinks, Phillip...
omo is the least of the weirdest of kinks imo
Party Poison.
@@thefamilydisappointment0 someone said it, thank you
*kissed someone married*
this bean: *well here's the thing*
me: OHHHHHH SPILL THE TEA PHILLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!
sphil the tea
@@molecularalien nice
AmazingSpill
@@Unknowndino03 nice
"I could do that whole drag race quote right now"
WE STAN AN EDUCATED KING✊
Everyone who got here early: I am SPEED
*_YE_*
I was fourth because I got scared and didn’t know what to say
SPEED IS KEY
after watching the video, just sPEEd apparently
SONIC 2020
Phil: is a pure bean.
Also Phil: talks about wedgies in depth for like 5 minutes
When he says "lots of things are going through my head: I'm gay, she's twice my age, I need to pee..." I love how naturally he just says it (maybe someday I can be that natural saying it too hopefully) also that's the most relatable thought process I've ever heard
I hope you can have a good day
“what,, toilet cleaner are you?”
Aww Dan and phil games scene... We miss that, PHIL BRING DAN OUT OF HIS CAVE
chaotic weirdo yes i agree but don’t pressure him
Kmations we’ve been waiting for dan for like seven months and being as patient as we can so is this? pressuring? him?
canadia blossom idk but keep it at a low level’s all im saying
Phil trying to say never have i ever:
Also phil: *bo o b m i l k*
This is how many times Phil said "pee"
⬇
I feel the need to tell you that your profile pic looks like you have a hitler moustache, i know its a shadow but i was legit concerned for a minute.
No one:
No one at all:
Not even Gerard Way himself:
Phil: 'have you ever kissed someone married' ...
So HeArs ThE tHiNg
Gerard way!
Do you mean
Not even God himself
Exactly!
*here
@MaxHasASmallAddictionToTheEmoQuartet no you mean geesus
Phil's ginger hair is so so perfect on him
'Tasted a toe' Phil: cannibalism. Me: that's a kink.
this just in people, Phil does not suck toes
“What toilet cleaner are you?” 😂
editing: ✅
comedy: ✅
story times: ✅
Phil Lester: ✅✅✅
video: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
conclusion: this deserves way more views
his bob ross painting in the back😭😭😭
4:36 “one of the most angry I’ve got” philly... you have an english degree...
"I havent tasted breast milk. *pause* WAIT *LIES* "
Phil: “He printed about 100 copies of this HORRENDOUS picture of me!”
Me: It can’t be THAT bad.
*sees photo*
Me: I stand corrected.
Phil, you’ve watched TV upside down while you were in Australia. You said it would bring you closer to home
pretty sure that was Dan
That moment when you’ve JUST realized Phil’s hair is lacking dye and you just
*screee!!!*
OCDemon its been like that
4:07 anyone think of Dan in their Day in the Life Australia video when he watched like the Olympics or something upside down? 😆
Last time I was this early Dan was calling Phil Lester a genius
Singalina23 aww
The last time I was this early Dan wasn't fucking dead
HIS HAIR ISNT BLACKKKKKK. HE HASNT DIED ITTTT OMFG!!!!! I’m just omg idk I think I’m broken it’s sooooo amazing(Phil)
ikr, we stan a ginger king
Claire Naughton definitely! I love it soooo much ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
I actually want to see him with his natural ginger hair 🤷🏻♀️
@@maggiemccauslin1084 I think that's what we're seeing? I don't know for sure, I just assumed that if he stopped dying it black it's his natural color now
Does it count if it’s someone he’s married to
u went there bruh i-
5:36 *DODGING THE QUESTION*
alternate title: phil talks about pee for ten minutes straight
"I don't pee the bath" was the only thing my parents heard of this video when I emerged from my room to get ice cream
“Never have You ever doubted your heterosexuality”
I snorted so loud.
Bold of you to assume that there is any to be questioned.
alternatively: Phill Recalls University Stories
7:15 THE FOX SCREAMING LITERALLY MADE ME JUMP I-
"can you please stop having sex outside my window Mr fox"
*scREECH*
“probably one of the most angry i’d got”
phil, master of english linguistics
7:40 "stay on your side of the bar, phil, you f--" (midroll ad)
shoutout to the person who wrote the spanish subtitles and gave their name as: "Hi, so my name is [Ana]"
7:15 we finally know what the fox says