Retired military and professional speaker here; you are absolutely spot on. When you are speaking in public your perception of your own speech is that it is too slow so you speed up to fill the gaps. DON'T! To the listener, you sound normal. The hardest thing to teach people in public speaking is to not be afraid of coming to a full stop at the end of a sentence and let the pause resonate for a moment. It's okay, you don't have to fill the void. Don't ramble until you fade out. All that being said, the military in me wanted to grab your shirttails and sort out the wrinkles in your shirt and collar. I'm not being mean, attention to detail is important. Carry on, young man. You are doing fine. Keep it up!
😂😂😂 salute to you sir for attention to details and for your service, i didnt see that. M about to join the military at 40, m a retired tech exec, runner fitness enthusiast, and have always wanted to be in the military, i really wish i could ask you a few questions. Regards, Eric
Unfortunately, this young Guy is surrounded by socialist beta males in culture and education; this problem is easily solved by following the great speaking styles of Cary Grant in his movies (he commonly spoke about 85 words per minute, which is ideal for most oral presentations) and the inestimable Charles Laughton - watch ALL of movies, start with Witness for the Prosecution ; Use this search term in YT to find Charles reading the Gettysburg Address and a chapter of the Book of Daniel. "charles laughton + orator"................................................................................... ANY Perry Mason episode - all of the male stars delivered their speaking and nonverbal roles perfectly! Find a style that fits YOU and do it.
Current military officer, and yes, this video felt like my last career course that heavily emphasized making presentations to higher ranking officers who don't have time to listen to anyone who isn't confident, competent and who considers brevity an absolute necessity.
Toxic masculinity is half-assed masculinity. The essence of a man is learning to control and channel violence, which you cannot do if you don't have the capacity for it in the first place, or you don't have a mentor (ideally, a masculine father). Very, very few women can be masculine, because very very few women could kill someone with their bare hands yet know when not to (hardly ever, but when you gotta, you gotta. Easy to call bullshit on that, but as a society we're getting there).
I am 75 and a retired university library administrator. At a certain point in my professional life I suddenly started paying attention to my spoken word. Then and there I resolved to try to speak in print-ready paragraphs. That has been my goal since then.
Reading also plays a very important role when it comes to both speech and vocabulary. Read a lot, especially classic literature. Very few people are talking about the importance of speech, so glad you made this video !
Reading serious non fiction is also very important. To be able to present alternative viewpoints, deeper analysis, or even drop some names, as in referring to, "in Doris Goodwin Kern's book, XXXXX, she presents the view that......"
Tolstoy, Vonnegut, Cormac McCarthy and probably William H. Burroughs. Hunter s. Thompson is also pretty illuminating. Hemingway, obviously. The Alexandria Quartet is good, especially books one and four. And Herman Melville.
Your content and message is amazing. I’m 37, and have always been fixated on being timeless in my dress and mannerisms, the fact you’re trying to appeal to Gen Z is awesome. Love the name of the channel too.
During the first ten years of my life I lived in the same house with my grandmother, who in her youth, taught grade school in a one room building in a community that was isolated from the modern world where the people still spoke a form of Chaucerian English. I have never heard a recording of my own voice, but grew up near Savannah, GA, and am now in middle age. Complete strangers often ask me if I spent time living in Europe or Britain, which I have visited, but never "lived" there. When I was very young I worked in a retail environment and developed a habit of asking people "Could WE help you find something," in the Third Person, meaning the company for whom I worked and myself, and still catch myself using the expression today. To this day, I can be seated in a restaurant placing an order, and complete strangers at the next table will say, "Weren't you in Home Depot yesterday? I recognize your voice and was on the next aisle." I find this amusing but also a little threatening, as I generally do not like attention or being recognized. I once stood before a crowd of some 1,500 people in a public park and spoke for perhaps 5 minutes during a Memorial Day service and dozens of people came up to me afterwards and commented that they could understand every syllable I said. They were equally impressed that I never once looked at the notes I had in my hand. Perhaps I missed my calling as a public speaker.
Avoid the "upspeak" habit at ends of sentences, using 'like" as a filler, and using "vocal fry". I've heard both young men and young women doing it, and it's terrible and unntelligent. You'll be way ahead just avoiding those 3 habits.
The worst thing I ever heard is "You was". It sends shiver down my spine hearing this. If my english teacher ever heard me talking like this then he would search for me to hang me 💀
Loke, like, then I'm like, then she's like, then he's like, then I'm like........know what I mean? You know, you know, yiu know......cringe worthy ghetto slang.
Great video! Two things are worth noting: First, We Americans in particular are notorious abroad for our evasive and indirect speech. An American speaking to a German will find out just how indirect very quickly. Second, while filler words and clichés have been around forever, their use is much less frequent in the speech of older people. Those of us born around the time of WW II can speak at length without ever using the words 'like' or 'you know'. Instead, you will hear us pause and pace our speech as we develop our ideas. What you hear is not faltering caused by great age, but a manner of speaking from an earlier time.
Americans are in fact notorious for saying WAY WAY too much and too quickly , like they’ve had too much coffee which is probably the case, having the effect of leaving the listener exhausted and switched off ! ( ie - please make it stop ). ( plus of course the verbiage will be about themselves cos .. well they’re American 🙄)
Germans are not afraid to be rude because their culture did not evolve in the same frontier environment where rubbing someone else the wrong way could earn you an ass beating, a duel with pistols or worse.
I have spent a lifetime speaking to crowds of people. I continue to teach classes and lecture. I was even a Toastmaster for a while. Your discussion of slowing down is 100% correct. Thank you.
Gen X here again. You speak a lot of sense, especially in being direct - unless you want mystery (not a good idea in a taxi). When you've said your sentence, look into the eyes of your interlocutor. It's her, or his, time to speak. A trap I've *always* had is that if I suddenly encounter a woman on whom I'm keen, my voice goes up half an octave. It's involuntary - if she's off my radar, or the meeting is arranged, my voice is normal. One thing I'd add is - never boast, never complain, never denigrate - unless in very trusted company, that is, when it's compulsory 🙂
As a mother and someone who struggles with social anxiety I am so glad I found this channel. Its gives me hope for the younger generation and tips to start teaching my son Mr 11.
I would also suggest to take the Teddy Rosevelt routine where you practice speaking ever morning and do plenty of physical exercises. For me he is a perfect example of what I want to be. He also had a speech impediments if I remember correctly so no excuses.
@@jheagy1234567890 I appreciate reminders for genteel conduct, no matter the intended audience, as I think they are sorely needed. And besides, I want to be able to identify and appreciate gentlemen should I encounter them offline. There seems to be an idea that elevating one's dress and conduct makes one haughty.
I do scripture reading at my parish during mass and I've begun leading the rosary. I have a naturally loud deep voice. I can read anything perfectly at a glance with proper annunciation and as if I am telling a story. It's just cause I've read so much in my life. I pretend I am James Earl Jones when I speak and before I start I yawn . It relaxes the vocal chords making the voice deeper and more resonant, and it also gives the impression that I'm not nervous and probably bored.😅 I get lots of compliments every time I read especially from other men, which means alot to me.
Well read. Articulated. Grammatically correct. Extensive vocabulary. Used to speaking eloquently. Considerate. Understanding what audience understands his extensive vocabulary and what audience doesn’t. Ability to communicate his message/ideas clearly and preferably in 3 different ways, in case the topic is extended, or someone doesn’t hear what the gentleman is saying, requiring him to repeat it. I have encountered people who say I says, we was, think on that, etc. It’s so cringe and annoying that some people have poor verbal communication skills. I have encountered many people, who lack the words to explain what they mean. For example “She was in the hospital going over the same thing again and again” when what he’s trying to say is “She was surrounded by other bedridden patients, which made her feel helpless and hopeless regarding her own recovery”. This is why quality education, paying attention in class, writing essays, watching debates/news/documentsries/movies and READING is important. Just like some people eloquence, eloquent people with extensive vocabularies find it difficult to use easy terminology to relay the message because they’re accustomed to speaking eloquently.
I’ve been recently lowering my usage of filler words. I’ve been doing this by becoming more conscious of my usage of filler words. Exceptional video, keep up the good work. I see 100k by the end of the year with your quality of work.
Yeah, I think you and the creator might both be onto something there. Certainly, in politicians, my late wife saw 'ums', 'ahhs', 'errs' etc. as a sign of someone who either wasn't conversant with the facts, or who was trying to dissemble. They _can_ serve as a kind of punctuation, however, I believe, whether as a way to _show_ you are being considered in your answers, allowing others an opportunity to interject, inject nuance, or whatever.
I frequent a somewhat different circle of acquaintances. It is still important to have a better than average vocabulary, though not too out of context. Being able to express yourself adequately speaks volumes about you and your topic. Great content, greatly appreciated.
Never use "you know", "it's like", "totally", "biggly", "right?", "yup", "sup", other un-classical language terms or phrases. I appreciate this video. How you speak and comport yourself is capital and vital in engendering respect and esteem from others. I take immediate notice when a man speaks well and applies an elevated vocabulary to precisely describe his thoughts. I respect good speakers.
I enjoy your videos very much. I am 75 years old and get frustrated with young people who speak so rapidly that it is impossible to understand what they are trying to communicate. I apologize to them for having to ask them to slow down. Being hard of hearing this helps me understand them.
Wow . I’m so happy with this kind of content. Since I’m a doctor who is seeking obtain my registration in the UK. Recently , I’ve stated to prepare myself for the academic Ielts, and I need to improve on writing score and I’m finding this video not only inspiring but tremendously helpful for the test . Thank you so much Gentleman.
Speaking from a woman’s perspective, we’re very attracted to men who speak with confidence, clarity, and assertiveness. Men who stumble over their words and/or use excessive amounts of slang come off as weak and juvenile.
So true. Slang and profanity are such a turn-off to me, and I find that they are often used to bolster the arguments of the confidently incompetent. I don't care whether you know about a topic or not; what is defining is your ability to be honest about your competence (or lack thereof) and always seek to refine it with new information and intelligent discussion.
@@briannahoff8589Just be sure you're not missing out on an intelligent man: intelligent people are known to swear more than average, probably because they have to deal with stupid people who don't just listen to them.
I had a unfortunate upbringing, first 10 years in Norfolk then the next 10 in South East London where my accent developed into something not so pleasant (think Ali G with a bit of a farmers twang). In my early 20's I moved to Scotland to help on my Grandads farm up in Perth, I had real trouble communicating, strangely I could under stand the people I interacted with but they had real trouble with me, I found I had to repeat myself 3 - 4 times in every conversation. Luckily my Grandad was friends with a retired English language professor who lived in one of the towns near the farm who worked for Oxford University as , he offered lessons on Received Pronunciation an hour a week (My grandad kept him topped up with 12 year old Scotch and other produce from the farm as payment). As a clearer stripped down to the bare bones English accent would be more beneficial in communication, most of the lessons were exactly like this video, slow it down, remove slang don't use fillers. I had about 20 lessons, alot of it just reading chapters from a book out loud (Treasure Island, Moby Dick, Robinson Crusoe) and mock scenarios from ordering a meal or asking for directions. I didn't really notice any difference but it worked, the people I interacted with understood what I was saying first time. When I moved back to London 4 years later and on the first few days of being re-equated to old friends and family, I got told 3 times on different occasions that I now sound like Benedict Cumberbatch. I nearly replied with 'Cool' each time. But it really did help in life.
Most of the things we learn and do now are completely opposite from how it should be for optimal function. This is perfect example....we gotta relearn to be men again in 2024. Also, not part of speech but doing maculine stuff helps. Like going fast, lifting weights, chopping wood, home repairs, will make everything you say hit with way more masculinity. Great video man. Love your channel ❤
Back when I was in 7th grade Our history teacher had us do a scene of a play where martin Luther was questioned by Emperor Charles V. I played the Emperor. As soon as started talking, she interrupted me to tell me to slow down; Royalty do not rush their words. That was lesson that I've never forgotten and have tried to follow, without being obnoxious or overdoing it , of course.
Looking at society these days it almost physically hurts seeing how people dress, how they speak and beeing confronted with a complete lack of manners, it is truely a delight following your channel.
Great pointers for speech. Previously, today, I had a noon tea with a lady acquaintance, and watching this made me aware of how I use different speech techniques to get my point across. Usually, I suck at "grounding," my speech when talking to attractive women that I'm interested in, but over time, I learned to craft my temperament and speaking skills to serve better in representing myself as a competent young man by taking control of my words and the way I wlsay those words.
Excellent points. Another distinguishing feature of a classic male is proper grammar. Unfortunately grammar isn't taught as stringently in schools as it used to be. Also people rely too much on apps such as Grammarly; this is fine when you're writing, but when you're speaking, there's no app to filter or correct what comes out of your mouth.
In a world where woman call masculinity “toxic@ and it’s publicly spit on I really appreciate stuff like this. Even as a 30 year old I still have to learn some things
Hello Gent Z, I completely agree that communicating directly, succinctly, and with brevity while always remaining composed is essential for a gentleman. I am fortunate to ba a certified Toastmaster-from many years back- and at least three points stick, ie; 1. Gentlemen must stop using filler words. Instead, stop talking and breath. 2. Gentlemen ought to express their point(s) by thinking say what I am going to say, say it, say what I just said - then stop talking. 3. Gentlemen ought to listen 80% of the time and speak only 20% if that much. You speak well and I appreciate your videos. Peace be with you, Joe.
I used to make videos and basically rant. Now I started to take my time. I am more calm and carful with my words of choice. I am taking time to breathe in middle of my recording and speak when I think I am ready to continue speaking. Thank you for sharing this information.
I’d add Having a well thought out opinion on a subject I believe is important. It shows intelligence and autonomy. It also provides a perspective that others can consider.
long time bartender here, when you "have a signature drink" understand whats in it and how to answer questions in it. sometimes people have really awkward add ons and only know what its called.. also dont "order in charecter" order as yourself. a lot of young men turn into a weird version of (guy from tv show that drinks). be yourself and be confident. i really like this video
My grandfather is, or was a great example. I remember being 20 years old and we went to a bar to watch a Blues band in which his son , my uncle, was playing lead guitar. When the bar tender asked him what he would like to drink he said " a glass of milk please".. I remember heads turning and big scary guys watching him...observing him..and turning their heads and continue with what they were doing. Will never forget that...
Great topic and very good advise. Especially like your advise on speaking (relatively) slowly. Too many people these days try to speak fast, as if they want to sell you something, which results in unfinished sentences and a lack of verbal elegance. Calm down, gentlemen, take a good breath, and speak in a calm, natural intonation. Of course, great actors, such as Cary Grant (who’s often mentioned on this channel) spoke incredibly fast, but bear in mind that that’s theatrical speech, memorized lines delivery - not natural speech.
Excellent video, thank you. Another impediment to clear and direct speech is trying to find the perfect word when a lesser word would do. I am guilty of this myself, particularly in conversation. I’m afraid I can’t offer a ready cure!
Another modern speech mannerism that annoys me is when someone is relating or explaining something and they end each sentence or phrase with an upward inflection as if they’re asking a question. It’s difficult to explain here in text, but I’m sure you recognize what I’m describing. It’s like they’re asking permission to continue speaking or something.
It's a recognized trend by linguists and it is called "upspeak." It's very boyish/girlish, hard to come across as convincing on anything if you speak like that.
5:55 I took a Speech class while in college. The professor told us her grading style. During class presentations, we'd all start with 100 points and she would deduct 5 points for every like, um & uh she heard. Fast forward 30 years later, whenever I hear a speaker, those words still jump out at me and I find myself counting the frequency of those words.
I was guilty of the permissive manner of speaking but then I did an enlistment with the marine corps and Learned all this. This video is priceless in value
In general I speak slowly and I look my interlocutors in the eyes while making small gestures with my hands! (these gestures allow me to maintain a sort of charm) And finally I always try to be ready before each meeting by keeping a notebook on the choice of my words and subjects in general depending on the interlocutor! My reference in terms of head and hand movement is David Niven and Jacques Chirac (the ex french president)
I always enjoy your videos and I always learn something useful, Especially agree with the "parroting" part using canned phrases or inane or faddish junk expressions e.g., "at the end of the day" "game-changer," "super-excited." and countless others in the vernacular of the brain dead.
Wonderful, as always. Anyone can benefit by the following practice: read daily, and every time you encounter a word you don’t entirely understand, consult a dictionary before continuing (all you require is an internet connection if you don’t have access to a physical dictionary). Vocabulary affords spontaneous eloquence when a certain idea arises within your mind that would uniquely assist in what you seek to communicate. Keep up the lucid content.
Good points. For those interested these are all points covered in most toastmaster clubs (a great way to put real practice in for speaking). Our club has a focus on eliminating informal speaking patterns as discussed in the direct section of this video. In short take responsibility for your words and own it. A great place to start is learning about weasel words (the wiki will tell you all you need to know about informal speaking). Ahs, ums, so’s, and other filler words definitely take away from speech. Take pause, which also helps slow you down (the Obama method). Good points on the video, my only criticism is to drop the parts where xyz is feminine and instead shoot for simply not masculine. Our club has many great female speakers and a lot of those non masculine traits you call feminine are really more like a child that is unsure of how to ask their parents about a new toy or game. In short childish as opposed to feminine or masculine. That Uber passenger is a great example of a child like trait that never went away (takes deliberate practice to weed out habits like that).
Hello, I love your content. Born in the middle 60s and raised as a gentleman myself, being Christian and a military veteran from the 1st Gulf War. I would appreciate it if you did not bias the application only towards male/female relationships, they are also appropriate for same sex partnerships and good male friends. Please consider this when you are commenting.
Really enjoying your channel mate; keep up the good work. We need more young men to “get back” to being gentlemen of style and substance and you are making a dent and positive influence ~ well done. 🇦🇺
The first tip is good for gathering respect from men and women, but when you're inviting someone to something, you'll want to make it so that you're Already going to do something fun and that he or she has the option to join you, but either way You'll end up having fun anyways. Spin it like that.
This video has a lot of really great advice. I have one suggestion. You should reevaluate your use of the term "feminine trait" as a pejorative term. Swapping out that term for "weaker trait" or "childish trait" will keep your intended meaning without falling into the trap of viewing men and women as opposites, and without being disrespectful. I look forward to your future videos.
@@jheagy1234567890 Men and women are not opposites. They are separate groups with different averages however members of those groups varyon a scale of masculinity and femininity. Even masculinity and femininity are not opposites but more a different set of traits. However as GentZ doesn't make mistakes It must be me that's wrong.
I found what Gent Z said to be really out of place, too. Increasing ones appeal through style and good manners and focusing on those trait considered masculine is fair, but a lot of things that historically have been considered masculine or feminine can now be applied (rightfully so) to both men and women. It's not 1950s anymore. In the start of the video he himself said that this video can be followed by both sexes but then follows up with a statement like that one that implies a weak trait to be associated with women. I'm curious to know his real stance on the matter so I hope his will answer your comment.
@@tempestandacomputer6951 Yeah i noticed it was sarcastic, but didnt want to delete the begining of my comment.... I reaslised this at the end .I also was being sarcastic "However as GentZ doesn't make mistakes It must be me that's wrong." ..... It's in fact me that doesn't make mistake.. ;)
Slowing down is huge. Don’t be afraid to just pause and count to three after finishing a statement. Give your audience time to really take in what you’ve said before continuing. If you’ve asked a question, don’t be afraid to just let it hang for however long it takes the other person to respond. BIG help.
Retired military and professional speaker here; you are absolutely spot on. When you are speaking in public your perception of your own speech is that it is too slow so you speed up to fill the gaps. DON'T! To the listener, you sound normal. The hardest thing to teach people in public speaking is to not be afraid of coming to a full stop at the end of a sentence and let the pause resonate for a moment. It's okay, you don't have to fill the void. Don't ramble until you fade out. All that being said, the military in me wanted to grab your shirttails and sort out the wrinkles in your shirt and collar. I'm not being mean, attention to detail is important. Carry on, young man. You are doing fine. Keep it up!
Thanks sir, thank you for your service
😂😂😂 salute to you sir for attention to details and for your service, i didnt see that. M about to join the military at 40, m a retired tech exec, runner fitness enthusiast, and have always wanted to be in the military, i really wish i could ask you a few questions. Regards, Eric
The shirt really doesn't work with that jacket.
Unfortunately, this young Guy is surrounded by socialist beta males in culture and education; this problem is easily solved by following the great speaking styles of Cary Grant in his movies (he commonly spoke about 85 words per minute, which is ideal for most oral presentations) and the inestimable Charles Laughton - watch ALL of movies, start with Witness for the Prosecution ; Use this search term in YT to find Charles reading the Gettysburg Address and a chapter of the Book of Daniel. "charles laughton + orator"................................................................................... ANY Perry Mason episode - all of the male stars delivered their speaking and nonverbal roles perfectly! Find a style that fits YOU and do it.
Current military officer, and yes, this video felt like my last career course that heavily emphasized making presentations to higher ranking officers who don't have time to listen to anyone who isn't confident, competent and who considers brevity an absolute necessity.
A mentor once told me
“Be direct, but be direct with class. Only experience will teach you when it’s best to be vague and/or indirect “
That’s a good mentor
1) Be direct
2) Don't rush while speaking
3) Avoid ''umms'' by speaking like written sentences
thank you kindly
And, like, avoid "like".
Toastmasters offers free classes in this.
“But there is nothing polite about confusing people.” 👏🏻👏🏻
Somebody tell Jordan Peterson about this real quick please.
@@iExploder lol
The Democrats have been confusing the nation for hundreds of years
In a world where masculinity is increasingly presented as "toxic", fortunately RUclips channels like yours allow men to meet, exchange, and improve.
Toxic masculinity is not masculine at all. It's just toxic. "Manners maketh the Man"
Simply reject that notion. Works for me.
Toxic masculinity is half-assed masculinity. The essence of a man is learning to control and channel violence, which you cannot do if you don't have the capacity for it in the first place, or you don't have a mentor (ideally, a masculine father). Very, very few women can be masculine, because very very few women could kill someone with their bare hands yet know when not to (hardly ever, but when you gotta, you gotta. Easy to call bullshit on that, but as a society we're getting there).
Hi Delon, you're the most beautiful man I've ever seen
@@TaZ101SAGASome abusive versions of masculinity debase and harm men, though. Thats what toxic masculinity is.
I am 75 and a retired university library administrator. At a certain point in my professional life I suddenly started paying attention to my spoken word. Then and there I resolved to try to speak in print-ready paragraphs. That has been my goal since then.
Great tips!
Reading also plays a very important role when it comes to both speech and vocabulary. Read a lot, especially classic literature. Very few people are talking about the importance of speech, so glad you made this video !
Reading serious non fiction is also very important. To be able to present alternative viewpoints, deeper analysis, or even drop some names, as in referring to, "in Doris Goodwin Kern's book, XXXXX, she presents the view that......"
Do you have any specific book recommendations?
What books do you recomend?
Tolstoy, Vonnegut, Cormac McCarthy and probably William H. Burroughs. Hunter s. Thompson is also pretty illuminating. Hemingway, obviously. The Alexandria Quartet is good, especially books one and four. And Herman Melville.
Any recommendations of classic literature books
Vito and Michael Corleone are great examples of masculine speaking. They are present, slow, articulated and clearly send the message.
I'm yet to see anyone who matches Don Vito Corleone in the art of speaking/communication.
@@chibuzorezebili2573Thomas Shelby
@@chibuzorezebili2573 Not speak exactly like Don Vito, but at least speaking similarly to him in a manner of style.
Thanks!
Thank you very much, sir
Your content and message is amazing. I’m 37, and have always been fixated on being timeless in my dress and mannerisms, the fact you’re trying to appeal to Gen Z is awesome. Love the name of the channel too.
Thank you, sir! I admit, I had the name in my before I knew I was going to start a channel 😅
Just discovered your brilliant channel. I can’t stand it when most young people start sentences with “so” or pseudo intellectuals start with “ Look “
I concur. They both are contrived attempts at engagement.
So what is ok.i do not mind to say it.
Or worse "yeah...so..."
Right. Okay. So.. listen here, 🅱️uster.
And ultimately, it is what it is. Fundamentally.
I cannot stand the misuse and OVER use of the word like ~ I’m like, she was like and then I’m like. 🙄
A clean shave, nice haircut, and general good grooming shows confidence and pride in a man's appearance. This makes him more attractive.
During the first ten years of my life I lived in the same house with my grandmother, who in her youth, taught grade school in a one room building in a community that was isolated from the modern world where the people still spoke a form of Chaucerian English. I have never heard a recording of my own voice, but grew up near Savannah, GA, and am now in middle age. Complete strangers often ask me if I spent time living in Europe or Britain, which I have visited, but never "lived" there. When I was very young I worked in a retail environment and developed a habit of asking people "Could WE help you find something," in the Third Person, meaning the company for whom I worked and myself, and still catch myself using the expression today. To this day, I can be seated in a restaurant placing an order, and complete strangers at the next table will say, "Weren't you in Home Depot yesterday? I recognize your voice and was on the next aisle." I find this amusing but also a little threatening, as I generally do not like attention or being recognized. I once stood before a crowd of some 1,500 people in a public park and spoke for perhaps 5 minutes during a Memorial Day service and dozens of people came up to me afterwards and commented that they could understand every syllable I said. They were equally impressed that I never once looked at the notes I had in my hand. Perhaps I missed my calling as a public speaker.
Great video! I’m a 15 year old freshmen in high school, and hearing your thoughts on “parrot” language was especially helpful!
I’m 24. If you can master your speech at 15 you’ll be far ahead of the game in your 20s. Keep up the good work.
Avoid the "upspeak" habit at ends of sentences, using 'like" as a filler, and using "vocal fry". I've heard both young men and young women doing it, and it's terrible and unntelligent. You'll be way ahead just avoiding those 3 habits.
I loved the "Don't be a Parrot" tip. I'm constantly correcting my nephew for using trending slang.
The worst thing I ever heard is "You was".
It sends shiver down my spine hearing this.
If my english teacher ever heard me talking like this then
he would search for me to hang me 💀
I thought he said “this has GYATT a lot worse with TikTok”
Quit feeding him crackers for a start. :)
Loke, like, then I'm like, then she's like, then he's like, then I'm like........know what I mean? You know, you know, yiu know......cringe worthy ghetto slang.
@@ms.annthrope415It’s even more painful to read it
Great video! Two things are worth noting: First, We Americans in particular are notorious abroad for our evasive and indirect speech. An American speaking to a German will find out just how indirect very quickly. Second, while filler words and clichés have been around forever, their use is much less frequent in the speech of older people. Those of us born around the time of WW II can speak at length without ever using the words 'like' or 'you know'. Instead, you will hear us pause and pace our speech as we develop our ideas. What you hear is not faltering caused by great age, but a manner of speaking from an earlier time.
Americans are in fact notorious for saying WAY WAY too much and too quickly , like they’ve had too much coffee which is probably the case, having the effect of leaving the listener exhausted and switched off ! ( ie - please make it stop ).
( plus of course the verbiage will be about themselves cos .. well they’re American 🙄)
Racist
@@anthonyharmon9265 What?
Germans are not afraid to be rude because their culture did not evolve in the same frontier environment where rubbing someone else the wrong way could earn you an ass beating, a duel with pistols or worse.
@anthonyharmon9265 more like an 'exceptionalist'.
I have spent a lifetime speaking to crowds of people. I continue to teach classes and lecture. I was even a Toastmaster for a while. Your discussion of slowing down is 100% correct. Thank you.
Gen X here again.
You speak a lot of sense, especially in being direct - unless you want mystery (not a good idea in a taxi).
When you've said your sentence, look into the eyes of your interlocutor. It's her, or his, time to speak.
A trap I've *always* had is that if I suddenly encounter a woman on whom I'm keen, my voice goes up half an octave. It's involuntary - if she's off my radar, or the meeting is arranged, my voice is normal.
One thing I'd add is - never boast, never complain, never denigrate - unless in very trusted company, that is, when it's compulsory 🙂
Apparently they can sniff out nervousness. Practice practice practice.
As a mother and someone who struggles with social anxiety I am so glad I found this channel. Its gives me hope for the younger generation and tips to start teaching my son Mr 11.
I would also suggest to take the Teddy Rosevelt routine where you practice speaking ever morning and do plenty of physical exercises. For me he is a perfect example of what I want to be. He also had a speech impediments if I remember correctly so no excuses.
I'm not sure how I, a woman, got recommended this, but I'm glad I did. I think these elocution tips will serve me well as well.
@@jheagy1234567890I recognize that you’re being sarcastic but us women watching this know that these tips are universal.
@@jheagy1234567890 lmao speaking elegantly is not something only men can do
@@jheagy1234567890 I appreciate reminders for genteel conduct, no matter the intended audience, as I think they are sorely needed. And besides, I want to be able to identify and appreciate gentlemen should I encounter them offline. There seems to be an idea that elevating one's dress and conduct makes one haughty.
@@youtubeur”lmao” Does not come across as elegant.
@@BotanistOnDuna "Chortling heartily amidst the ambiance"
I do scripture reading at my parish during mass and I've begun leading the rosary. I have a naturally loud deep voice. I can read anything perfectly at a glance with proper annunciation and as if I am telling a story. It's just cause I've read so much in my life. I pretend I am James Earl Jones when I speak and before I start I yawn . It relaxes the vocal chords making the voice deeper and more resonant, and it also gives the impression that I'm not nervous and probably bored.😅 I get lots of compliments every time I read especially from other men, which means alot to me.
Just look up James Earl Jones doing the alphabet on Sesame Street.
The videos in this series of Classical Masculinity are very exciting and rich in philosophical information. Thank you very much.
Well read. Articulated. Grammatically correct. Extensive vocabulary. Used to speaking eloquently. Considerate. Understanding what audience understands his extensive vocabulary and what audience doesn’t.
Ability to communicate his message/ideas clearly and preferably in 3 different ways, in case the topic is extended, or someone doesn’t hear what the gentleman is saying, requiring him to repeat it.
I have encountered people who say I says, we was, think on that, etc. It’s so cringe and annoying that some people have poor verbal communication skills.
I have encountered many people, who lack the words to explain what they mean. For example “She was in the hospital going over the same thing again and again” when what he’s trying to say is “She was surrounded by other bedridden patients, which made her feel helpless and hopeless regarding her own recovery”.
This is why quality education, paying attention in class, writing essays, watching debates/news/documentsries/movies and READING is important. Just like some people eloquence, eloquent people with extensive vocabularies find it difficult to use easy terminology to relay the message because they’re accustomed to speaking eloquently.
I’ve been recently lowering my usage of filler words. I’ve been doing this by becoming more conscious of my usage of filler words. Exceptional video, keep up the good work. I see 100k by the end of the year with your quality of work.
Yeah, I think you and the creator might both be onto something there. Certainly, in politicians, my late wife saw 'ums', 'ahhs', 'errs' etc. as a sign of someone who either wasn't conversant with the facts, or who was trying to dissemble. They _can_ serve as a kind of punctuation, however, I believe, whether as a way to _show_ you are being considered in your answers, allowing others an opportunity to interject, inject nuance, or whatever.
I frequent a somewhat different circle of acquaintances. It is still important to have a better than average vocabulary, though not too out of context. Being able to express yourself adequately speaks volumes about you and your topic. Great content, greatly appreciated.
Bravo, young man! Please continue sharing tips for respectable gentlemanly behavior.
Splendid content and advice. The Classic aesthetic has always been an inspiration.
Never use "you know", "it's like", "totally", "biggly", "right?", "yup", "sup", other un-classical language terms or phrases.
I appreciate this video. How you speak and comport yourself is capital and vital in engendering respect and esteem from others. I take immediate notice when a man speaks well and applies an elevated vocabulary to precisely describe his thoughts. I respect good speakers.
if you look at older footage of discussions, you know/y'know was relatively common. The rest you mentioned however, is quite true
Wrong. Bigly should be used at every opportunity.
Who the fuck uses “biggly”? Jesus Christ
I am indubitably, indefatigably, unequivocally, inexorably, and incontrovertibly disposed to concur.
@@realburgergod Bigly is a tremendous word. The best word of all time. There's never been a better word.
I enjoy your videos very much. I am 75 years old and get frustrated with young people who speak so rapidly that it is impossible to understand what they are trying to communicate. I apologize to them for having to ask them to slow down. Being hard of hearing this helps me understand them.
Wow . I’m so happy with this kind of content.
Since I’m a doctor who is seeking obtain my registration in the UK. Recently , I’ve stated to prepare myself for the academic Ielts, and I need to improve on writing score and I’m finding this video not only inspiring but tremendously helpful for the test .
Thank you so much Gentleman.
That's great to hear, thank you. Good luck with your career in the UK
Speaking from a woman’s perspective, we’re very attracted to men who speak with confidence, clarity, and assertiveness. Men who stumble over their words and/or use excessive amounts of slang come off as weak and juvenile.
🤔
gyatt rizz skibidi toilet ohio bby
So true. Slang and profanity are such a turn-off to me, and I find that they are often used to bolster the arguments of the confidently incompetent. I don't care whether you know about a topic or not; what is defining is your ability to be honest about your competence (or lack thereof) and always seek to refine it with new information and intelligent discussion.
@@briannahoff8589 I totally agree.
@@briannahoff8589Just be sure you're not missing out on an intelligent man: intelligent people are known to swear more than average, probably because they have to deal with stupid people who don't just listen to them.
He doesn’t just preach it - he exemplifies it. He speaks with incredible poise and eloquence
A channel which everyone gentleman needs.
I had a unfortunate upbringing, first 10 years in Norfolk then the next 10 in South East London where my accent developed into something not so pleasant (think Ali G with a bit of a farmers twang). In my early 20's I moved to Scotland to help on my Grandads farm up in Perth, I had real trouble communicating, strangely I could under stand the people I interacted with but they had real trouble with me, I found I had to repeat myself 3 - 4 times in every conversation. Luckily my Grandad was friends with a retired English language professor who lived in one of the towns near the farm who worked for Oxford University as , he offered lessons on Received Pronunciation an hour a week (My grandad kept him topped up with 12 year old Scotch and other produce from the farm as payment). As a clearer stripped down to the bare bones English accent would be more beneficial in communication, most of the lessons were exactly like this video, slow it down, remove slang don't use fillers. I had about 20 lessons, alot of it just reading chapters from a book out loud (Treasure Island, Moby Dick, Robinson Crusoe) and mock scenarios from ordering a meal or asking for directions. I didn't really notice any difference but it worked, the people I interacted with understood what I was saying first time. When I moved back to London 4 years later and on the first few days of being re-equated to old friends and family, I got told 3 times on different occasions that I now sound like Benedict Cumberbatch. I nearly replied with 'Cool' each time. But it really did help in life.
Great story. Good job!
"There is nothing polite about confusing people". Great statement!
Most of the things we learn and do now are completely opposite from how it should be for optimal function. This is perfect example....we gotta relearn to be men again in 2024. Also, not part of speech but doing maculine stuff helps. Like going fast, lifting weights, chopping wood, home repairs, will make everything you say hit with way more masculinity. Great video man. Love your channel ❤
Back when I was in 7th grade Our history teacher had us do a scene of a play where martin Luther was questioned by Emperor Charles V. I played the Emperor. As soon as started talking, she interrupted me to tell me to slow down; Royalty do not rush their words.
That was lesson that I've never forgotten and have tried to follow, without being obnoxious or overdoing it , of course.
Looking at society these days it almost physically hurts seeing how people dress, how they speak and beeing confronted with a complete lack of manners, it is truely a delight following your channel.
Excellent tips. Your presentation is appreciated.
Thank you, sir
Thank you I’ve been practicing this in my business and I noticed a significant change in my customers. They listen to me now
Amazing 👑
Great pointers for speech. Previously, today, I had a noon tea with a lady acquaintance, and watching this made me aware of how I use different speech techniques to get my point across. Usually, I suck at "grounding," my speech when talking to attractive women that I'm interested in, but over time, I learned to craft my temperament and speaking skills to serve better in representing myself as a competent young man by taking control of my words and the way I wlsay those words.
Excellent points. Another distinguishing feature of a classic male is proper grammar. Unfortunately grammar isn't taught as stringently in schools as it used to be. Also people rely too much on apps such as Grammarly; this is fine when you're writing, but when you're speaking, there's no app to filter or correct what comes out of your mouth.
In a world where woman call masculinity “toxic@ and it’s publicly spit on I really appreciate stuff like this. Even as a 30 year old I still have to learn some things
I wish we could hear Cicero speak. Apparently his oratory skills were like magic. His tongue was seen as a deadly political weapon in Rome.
so happy i found this gem. Now i can sleep soundly knowing the polluting smells from my lower regions have subdued. Also the piles are gone.
sorry mum
I'm working on talking slow and always said things minimally(short). I'll add these, thanks for the content.
Hello Gent Z, I completely agree that communicating directly, succinctly, and with brevity while always remaining composed is essential for a gentleman. I am fortunate to ba a certified Toastmaster-from many years back- and at least three points stick, ie;
1. Gentlemen must stop using filler words. Instead, stop talking and breath.
2. Gentlemen ought to express their point(s) by thinking say what I am going to say, say it, say what I just said - then stop talking.
3. Gentlemen ought to listen 80% of the time and speak only 20% if that much.
You speak well and I appreciate your videos.
Peace be with you, Joe.
I used to make videos and basically rant. Now I started to take my time.
I am more calm and carful with my words of choice.
I am taking time to breathe in middle of my recording and speak when I think I am ready to continue speaking.
Thank you for sharing this information.
I’d add Having a well thought out opinion on a subject I believe is important. It shows intelligence and autonomy. It also provides a perspective that others can consider.
This is very intriguing, basically
1. Be clear and confident
2. Formulate your senentences well
3. Use your own words
I love being masculine idc what anyone else says it the best feeling
long time bartender here, when you "have a signature drink" understand whats in it and how to answer questions in it. sometimes people have really awkward add ons and only know what its called.. also dont "order in charecter" order as yourself. a lot of young men turn into a weird version of (guy from tv show that drinks). be yourself and be confident. i really like this video
My grandfather is, or was a great example.
I remember being 20 years old and we went to a bar to watch a Blues band in which his son , my uncle, was playing lead guitar.
When the bar tender asked him what he would like to drink he said " a glass of milk please"..
I remember heads turning and big scary guys watching him...observing him..and turning their heads and continue with what they were doing.
Will never forget that...
I would add: don't explain yourself to people unless they ask for clarification. And, don't apologize unless you did something wrong.
love your series young man...well done
Thank you, David
Great topic and very good advise. Especially like your advise on speaking (relatively) slowly. Too many people these days try to speak fast, as if they want to sell you something, which results in unfinished sentences and a lack of verbal elegance. Calm down, gentlemen, take a good breath, and speak in a calm, natural intonation. Of course, great actors, such as Cary Grant (who’s often mentioned on this channel) spoke incredibly fast, but bear in mind that that’s theatrical speech, memorized lines delivery - not natural speech.
Also, READ! Read, and read voraciously! It’s the best way to expand and refine your vocabulary. Also, being knowledgeable is SEXY!
Excellent video, thank you.
Another impediment to clear and direct speech is trying to find the perfect word when a lesser word would do. I am guilty of this myself, particularly in conversation. I’m afraid I can’t offer a ready cure!
Another modern speech mannerism that annoys me is when someone is relating or explaining something and they end each sentence or phrase with an upward inflection as if they’re asking a question. It’s difficult to explain here in text, but I’m sure you recognize what I’m describing. It’s like they’re asking permission to continue speaking or something.
I know exactly what you mean. I always associated it with Australians
That’s how Ben Shapiro speaks
It's a recognized trend by linguists and it is called "upspeak." It's very boyish/girlish, hard to come across as convincing on anything if you speak like that.
This was quite helpful for me. I tend to talk fairly quickly in most public settings, and I'm working on being more direct. Very helpful. Thank you.
5:55 I took a Speech class while in college. The professor told us her grading style. During class presentations, we'd all start with 100 points and she would deduct 5 points for every like, um & uh she heard. Fast forward 30 years later, whenever I hear a speaker, those words still jump out at me and I find myself counting the frequency of those words.
Love the video and topic. Keep it up. My only feedback will be to lower the background music by 33%.
I was guilty of the permissive manner of speaking but then I did an enlistment with the marine corps and Learned all this. This video is priceless in value
And what they did they teach?
Keep the information coming. Excellent presentation. Thank you.
In general I speak slowly and I look my interlocutors in the eyes while making small gestures with my hands! (these gestures allow me to maintain a sort of charm) And finally I always try to be ready before each meeting by keeping a notebook on the choice of my words and subjects in general depending on the interlocutor!
My reference in terms of head and hand movement is David Niven and Jacques Chirac (the ex french president)
I always enjoy your videos and I always learn something useful, Especially agree with the "parroting" part using canned phrases or inane or faddish
junk expressions e.g., "at the end of the day" "game-changer," "super-excited." and countless others in the vernacular of the brain dead.
These are great. I am a member of Toastmasters and we focus on “curing” ourselves of filler words.
I appreciate your clarity!
Learning different words that carry similar meanings and learning witch context those words apply too, can really improve how one speeks.
@@jheagy1234567890 I was typing at work bro
Learnt how to become a gentleman , today is a game changer
Amazing content James! And great consistency too!
Thank you, sir. Good to see you here
😁@@Gent.Z
This is such a cool channel!
I‘m jazzguitarist and also your music in the videos is classy, timeless and great. 😁
Thanks for your tips!
Wonderful, as always. Anyone can benefit by the following practice: read daily, and every time you encounter a word you don’t entirely understand, consult a dictionary before continuing (all you require is an internet connection if you don’t have access to a physical dictionary). Vocabulary affords spontaneous eloquence when a certain idea arises within your mind that would uniquely assist in what you seek to communicate. Keep up the lucid content.
This video was thought out and executed very well. Thank you for this.
Good points. For those interested these are all points covered in most toastmaster clubs (a great way to put real practice in for speaking).
Our club has a focus on eliminating informal speaking patterns as discussed in the direct section of this video. In short take responsibility for your words and own it. A great place to start is learning about weasel words (the wiki will tell you all you need to know about informal speaking).
Ahs, ums, so’s, and other filler words definitely take away from speech. Take pause, which also helps slow you down (the Obama method).
Good points on the video, my only criticism is to drop the parts where xyz is feminine and instead shoot for simply not masculine. Our club has many great female speakers and a lot of those non masculine traits you call feminine are really more like a child that is unsure of how to ask their parents about a new toy or game. In short childish as opposed to feminine or masculine. That Uber passenger is a great example of a child like trait that never went away (takes deliberate practice to weed out habits like that).
Thank you on the tips, my favourite is the dont follow the trends. I have a really bad habit talking slang and ghetto.
Very well said! Great advice for anyone!!! Thank you for making the world a better place!
Hello, I love your content. Born in the middle 60s and raised as a gentleman myself, being Christian and a military veteran from the 1st Gulf War. I would appreciate it if you did not bias the application only towards male/female relationships, they are also appropriate for same sex partnerships and good male friends. Please consider this when you are commenting.
"Manifesting." Finally! Someone smashed this ridiculous word!
Jack Kennedy and Ronald Reagan were incredible speakers...we need that again.
About dressing. I figure out you sir could upload a video explaining a few tie knots, too.
Really enjoying your channel mate; keep up the good work.
We need more young men to “get back” to being gentlemen of style and substance and you are making a dent and positive influence ~ well done. 🇦🇺
You should be an audiobook narrator. Good job.
"I was like and she was like, you know"
I really enjoy this guy!
Keep producing such great content.
The first tip is good for gathering respect from men and women, but when you're inviting someone to something, you'll want to make it so that you're Already going to do something fun and that he or she has the option to join you, but either way You'll end up having fun anyways. Spin it like that.
Greetings...Thank you for your observations. Quite absorbing. Cheers🍷
The drink is a great example
Tip nr 5 - have smooth jazz bgm on when you speak for great mood
Excellent videos. But how do we get that nice tinkly jazz music in the background of our speaking?
All this leaves my head during a conversation. How do you remember it, or how best do you prepare yourself before engaging in conversation 🤔
This video has a lot of really great advice. I have one suggestion.
You should reevaluate your use of the term "feminine trait" as a pejorative term. Swapping out that term for "weaker trait" or "childish trait" will keep your intended meaning without falling into the trap of viewing men and women as opposites, and without being disrespectful. I look forward to your future videos.
I thought this was a weak sauce call too, brah.
@@jheagy1234567890 Men and women are not opposites. They are separate groups with different averages however members of those groups varyon a scale of masculinity and femininity. Even masculinity and femininity are not opposites but more a different set of traits. However as GentZ doesn't make mistakes It must be me that's wrong.
I found what Gent Z said to be really out of place, too. Increasing ones appeal through style and good manners and focusing on those trait considered masculine is fair, but a lot of things that historically have been considered masculine or feminine can now be applied (rightfully so) to both men and women. It's not 1950s anymore. In the start of the video he himself said that this video can be followed by both sexes but then follows up with a statement like that one that implies a weak trait to be associated with women. I'm curious to know his real stance on the matter so I hope his will answer your comment.
@@jonathanbowen3640 they did a really poor job of conveying it, but i think that was sarcasm
@@tempestandacomputer6951 Yeah i noticed it was sarcastic, but didnt want to delete the begining of my comment.... I reaslised this at the end .I also was being sarcastic "However as GentZ doesn't make mistakes It must be me that's wrong." ..... It's in fact me that doesn't make mistake.. ;)
That is true , if someone doesn't speak clearly it can be a turn off. No one likes mumbling.
Ben as an example is crazy lol
Edit: I would have never thought I hear him mentioned in a vid like this
As an Indian, I can comfortably say that the former Prime Minister Vajpayee was the best orator to ever exist.
Slowing down is huge. Don’t be afraid to just pause and count to three after finishing a statement. Give your audience time to really take in what you’ve said before continuing. If you’ve asked a question, don’t be afraid to just let it hang for however long it takes the other person to respond. BIG help.
Excellent and inspiring.