Lots of gentlemen have asked about the suit I'm wearing here, so this is a full outfit breakdown: Suit - go.shopmy.us/p-8450625 Shirt - go.shopmy.us/p-8605486 Tie - shop.gentlemansgazette.com/products/cashmere-wool-grenadine-tie-in-dark-blue-light-blue-off-white-stripe-fort-belvedere?_pos=8&_sid=7a14e04a1&_ss=r/? Pocket Square - go.shopmy.us/p-7390989 Cufflinks - vintage I may earn a small commission on products purchased through these links. However, this costs you no extra and helps support the channel.
Love your input! Much needed reminder for most people. However, do take care of your tie - it often seems crooked, like bent to one side. Just a thought
Never ask a woman her age. Never ask a war veteran if he killed anyone or how many he killed. Never compliment a woman on her looks in front of another woman.
@@Neiiiiil If it's two women, I'll compliment both. If it’s a bigger group and you’re not expected to talk to everyone individually, I think it’s fine to just compliment the one you’re talking to. Withholding genuine compliments because of what bystanders might think seems weird to me.
I heard once that the definition of a gentleman is “a man who makes everyone around him feel comfortable and dignified”. I’d add, “a gentleman is a man who carries himself with dignity”.
Dignity is the mother of all virtues. If you have dignity first of all You have self respect And then there is no grey zones. You cannot make mistakes. Everything is crystal clear in every aspect of your life. If you have dignity Life becomes easy and beautiful.
Re: Pregnant women. I remember being in a lovely little second-hand bookshop in the Cotswolds. The place was rather cramped. My wife was trying to manoeuvre around one of the tables which displayed books. The male owner, seeing this, and being concerned for the welfare of my wife, said "come my dear, there is more room over here." He said this looking down at her stomach. The clear implication was that he thought that my wife was pregnant. It was not particularly subtle, but was certainly well meant. Yes he clearly thought that my wife was pregnant and was doing his uttermost to be kind and considerate. Who could possibly be offended? We both laughed about it as we left the shop. Yet, as it turned out, the shop proprietor knew better than we did. For we shortly afterwards discovered that my wife WAS pregnant. MORAL: Sometimes it is more important to be kind and considerate than to be tactful.
Haha good story. Yeah, I think in this case his action was the better alternative than perhaps letting your wife struggle around the furniture. In the end, his mindset was honest and genuine. It would’ve been different if the physical space wasn’t as such, and the owner simply said “oh congrats, how far along are you?” 😂
Our subconscious observes more and subtle things than we think we do. His subconscious observed her body language & mannerisms, which, in turn, were governed by her subconscious - very well aware of her pregnancy.
Since he addressed your wife as my dear, he was probably older and well experienced in such matters. A family with two grownup daughters was co-travelling with me. The first impression that I got on seeing the girls was that they are ready for marriage. They were, in fact, traveling for the marriage of the girls. That's when I realised that I'm getting old.
@@pushpakumardaniel3751haha, what wouldn't I give to have observation skills like yours without the age. Why can't you have wisdom without being old??!
Managing dating life as a man is really hard nowadays. You need to know rules of the game, you need to stay calm if date doesn't go as planned. My tip is to be yourself and chase your goals. Chasing women didn't bring any good to anyone, it can just put you in misery. But when women start chasing you, you need to know what to do on the first few dates (I recommend reading First date playbook: A step by step guide to a great start).
In Texas you never ask a rancher how many cattle he has or how much acreage his ranch is. It’s akin to asking a man how much money he makes. Good video👍
This rule of thumb in Texas reminds me of a joke. One day, several wealthy Texas ranchers were sitting at a bar. Each was bragging about how many thousand acres their ranch was. They noticed one guy at the end of the bar who didn't say a word. One of the wealthy ranchers yelled to him, "Hey buddy, how many acres you got?" The guy at the end of the bar, took a sip of his whiskey and replied, "five". All of the wealthy ranchers erupted with laughter. The wealthy rancher sarcastically asked, "Five huh? So where are these five acres?" The guy at the end of the bar replies, "Manhattan". For those not familiar with Manhattan, it is the most expensive area in New York City and I assume the US overall. Five acres in Manhattan would be worth hundreds of millions most likely, far more than those ranchers would have among all of them combined.
I like that joke😂 It reminds me of another old joke about the Bostonian who was bragging about his ancestor, Paul Revere, in a Texas bar near the Alamo. The lanky old Texan looked at him and pondered the story of Paul Revere’s ride and quietly said, “I remember that guy. Ain’t he the yankee who had to skedaddle out of Boston and ask for help?”
A New Yorker asked a Texan how much property he owned. He replied 100 acres. The New Yorker asked, "What do you call such a tiny little ranch?" The Texan replied, "Downtown Dallas."
as a veteran I have been asked if I had ever killed anyone, For those of us that haven't served in direct combat it can feel like our service wasn't enough. for those who did serve in combat, you've just made him/her see the face of every soul they have ended in service of their country. Although most of us don't know how to respond to "thank you for your service" we really do appreciate when you say it.
Once as a kid I asked my father and my uncles if they ever had killed someone from war. The way their face turns ice cold made me never question that again.
I'm the opposite, I have no problems with it. Afghanistan was wild and Iraq was even downright hilarious. But I'm of the mindset, I didn't join the Army to give people hugs....
@@spectan5046 What do you mean only women are bothered by this question? First of all don't generalise, secondly - have you ever seen any alpha male podcast???
If you encounter somebody with a disability, don’t ask about it. As somebody with a physical disability myself (in my case, vision impairment) because I carry a white cane, people feel like they can just come up and ask, “are you really blind?” Or “how long have you been blind?” I understand this is often genuine curiosity, but this is a personal thing, and everybody has their own boundaries around it. In the spirit of offering a more tasteful alternative, I certainly don’t mind if somebody makes an open ended comment like, “let me know if I can assist you with anything, sir.” This doesn’t assume I’m in need of help, but lets me know somebody is nearby and available, should the need arise. For the record, because I know somebody will ask now about how I am watching this video or using the comments section, software exists called a screen reader. It’s built into pretty much every operating system, including the iPhone I’m using to interact here. Cheers gents. Edit: somebody in the replies made a good point. I don’t intend to speak for everybody with a disability, because no too disabilities are alike, nor are two individuals with the same disability. It’s not that you should never ask; more about how you do so. Remember that person Has the same sense of pride and dignity you do, so just treat them like an equal and don’t speak to them like they are a child or as though they’re fragile, etc. Hope this clarifies!
I am hearing impaired myself and I do personally appreciate it when people ask how they can interact with me better such as facing me when they speak for lip reading, speaking up and getting my attention before talking to me.
@@scottmccauley8128 that’s fair, and I don’t mean to speak for everybody with a disability, because not only is every disability unique, but every person who has that disability may have their own needs and preferences
Many years ago (in the 1960s), one of my Dad's friends (from his university days) who had been a bachelor for many years, saved up and took a trip to Europe to attend a medical conference. At the conference he met a lovely Flemish woman (Hugette) with the most delightful accent, who was in the same field as him. They courted for a while and eventually married. He was in his 50s, and I think she may have been about the same age, or perhaps mid-late 40s. Occasionally at a social gathering, someone would ask her if there were any children on the way, and she would turn to her husband, and in an almost coquettish French accent (the Flemish accent is very similar) say "'Orrie, you must try harder." Which of course had everyone laughing. Everyone realized they were not likely to have children, but they just loved her response.
@@313_Sherry It was never intended that way. They were past their child-bearing years and had probably decided that children were not something they wanted. She was clearly indicating that she and her husband were having sex, so they weren't celibate. You can't get a woman pregnant by simply trying harder if you are already having sex: that's ridiculous, and that was the spirit in which she said it. She was making a joke and it didn't put him down, merely laughed at the idea that having children was even part of their plans. Don't go looking for insults where none are intended. That's just breeds resentment and destroys the humor that lubricates the wheels of social harmony. Everyone gets up-tight and looking for insults, finding them where they don't exist. It's also known as having a chip on your shoulder. It seems today that a very large number of people in the US have this attitude and it is destroying a lot of social harmony, setting people against one another. How is a comment about her looks somehow equivalent to a comment about the impossibility of having children? Why would a comment about her looks lead to an immediate divorce? These people were not wishy-washy, over-sensitive cry-babies: they were realists living in the real world. Words can mean everything or nothing, but they are only words. This couple loved each other and mere words, especially a joke, were not going to break them up. They had traversed the entire planet to be together: would that be thrown away because of a mere comment. People today need to harden their skins a lot: reality is a crunch and the world doesn't coddle you, nor can you expect it to. The world owes you nothing: live with it. I suggest you try one of Gent Z's other videos: ruclips.net/video/ow1zcMKZ4qw/видео.html
@@nwjh1957 ok soo quick question. Weren't they past their age of looking beautiful. Wasn't she old. And obviously she was cause she can't have kids now so wouldn't that be an insult.
@@313_Sherry Horrie was never a 'beautiful' man, but he was kind, generous, capable, and gentle as a doctor (he was an ENT, so I visited him a few times as a child). He was dedicated to his profession, and so very good at it. He was quiet and easy to get on with. He had a very good heart. Is that sufficient for someone to be 'beautiful'? Hugette was a capable, funny, easy-going, very smart, well-presented and rather good-looking woman in her late 40s or so. She dressed well, but not extravagantly, and her accent was SO charming. She was definitely attractive, and that's far more real than 'beautiful.' I don't know if I would describe her as beautiful, but she was just a wonderful person. She complemented Horrie extremely well and they were clearly very attached to each other. 'Beautiful' is very subjective. Are sharpened, pointy teeth beautiful? They are to some African tribes. How about long necks stretched out with rings? The epitome of beauty to some folks. Bones through the nose, tattoos, stretched ear lobes....? It's all very subjective. What one person sees as beauty, someone else thinks is hideous or even repulsive. In modern US dating, how many trivial things are supposed to give girls the 'ick' and completely turn them off a guy? Attraction, on the other hand, I can measure, reasonably objectively. How many guys look at that girl admiringly out of all the guys who see her? How many might approach her in a suitable social situation? All measurable and all real determinants of attractiveness. Hugette was attractive, even if she didn't fit some people's idea of beautiful. She was older than 'youthful,' but she was not 'old.' It has been said that when a man says that you're pretty, he's looking at your face. When he says you're sexy, he's looking at your body. But when he says you're beautiful, he's looking through your eyes and into your heart. For many men, 'beauty' is about far more than appearances, and experienced men understand that appearance is worth very little, and even less over time.
@@nwjh1957 Indian here. You said, "Horrie = kind, generous, capable, and gentle. Hugette = capable, funny, easy-going, very smart, well-presented and rather good-looking." What does the word "capable" mean here?
@@timwashburn8553 Haha..An entire episode of Seinfeld, dealt with this very question….As we found out at the very end of the show, the woman in question exclaimed…“They’re real….and they’re spectacular…!!”
Good video. I am 54 and it has taken me until now to stop discussing money. Probably because I was a financial planner, however, I now realise how uncomfortable it makes people in social settings. And politics.
I have really come to enjoy this channel. America needs a person such as yourself to bring this type of lifestyle to our culture, which is sorely needed. This video was a good reminder for us older gentlemen but especially needed for the younger set. Thank you.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see by hints. . Or I guess inc you’ve been around extreme billionaire money. You can size people up pretty easily. It’s an energy. And no you can’t hide money. You express it in your energy even if you’re wearing sweats.
Can confirm. Some dogwater relatives would ask money from you, if they think or know you’re making a lot of cash. Spoiler alert: they’ll likely never pay you back.
I love this video, popped up in my feed. Will for sure follow this channel. But it makes me realize as a gen zer my parents tried to raise me into a gentleman, and I must say, they did a fantastic job
YES, I LIKE THIS VIDEO TOO. BUT THERE SHOULD BE SOME ONE, TO TECH WOMEN, WHAT = T * O OR N * O * T = TO ASK?!! LOTS OF TIMES, THEY GO, WAY TOO FAR, WHEN IT'S REALY, NINE OF THEIR BUSINESS!
Related to the family planning question is when people say, “You’re done having children, right?” Very invasive yet quite common (and we only have 2 children)
I had no idea people asked that. But obviously any question that implies whether they should or should not have more kids is rude. Thats entirely their decicion. Best to ask as neutrally as you can if you gonna ask
My highest compliment to you for reaching the milestone of 100.000 subscribers. I’m very happy to see your journey of success over the last year. Thank you for making this world a better place.
The light blue and light grey suits you quite well James. We share similar appearance, blue eyes blonde hair etc. I have always favoured this style, especially in the warmer months. Keep up the good work you are doing a great job.
I wore a coat and tie then I moved to a small town. Only funnels and weddings now. At 73 many more funerals than weddings. I assume I'll get to wear a suit one more time anyway.
@ not sure if you have ever been to Italy, but in every small town all the men your age wear suit’s every day. I dated an Italian girl in my early 20s her grandfather used to wear immaculate tailored suits every day, even if we where just having dinner at home, no body thought it was strange or out of place but I’ll tell you one thing he got a lot of respect from everyone in the family and every where we went. If I was in my 70s and I wanted to wear a suit I’d do it you’ve earned it. Life is short, if you’re not hurting anyone do what makes you happy I say.
Asking…”How much did that cost?” Also, asking, “Where are you from?, What is your heritage?, etc., can be very tricky questions to ask… As a world traveler, and someone with genuine a interest in peoples’ backgrounds, such questions can lead to very interesting and enlightening conversations however, these days, many people get quickly offended…
This one is tricky. Having one immigrant parent and a foreign name, I have been both asked and wanting to ask. The problem when getting this question, especially if you have negative experiences with racism, is that it sounds like: you obviously don't belong here. This is unfortunate, because I agree with you that it can lead to very exciting conversations.
I live in a mainly Asian suburb of Sydney (Australia), and you never ask 'where are you from', because there are many, many Asian Australians who would be immensely offended by such a question. People whose great-grandparents immigrated.
@@ronwilliams4184 3-4 generation Australians will obviously get offended by this question if a white man asks it. What they probably feel is - you only came 2 generations earlier, what makes you question me being here. You are as much a foreigner as I am. All assumption. I never visited Australia.
If they have an unusual name, just say, "That's a beautiful/interesting name." If they have an accent, say, "I love your accent!" and leave it at that.
What a suit, what an outfit! Congratulations! I prefer these wide ties. I am enjoying your presentations pretty much. Please keep up this excellent work. Well done!
My wife and I get “why don’t you have kids yet?” a lot. We’re in our 40s now, but look a decade younger in our faces and have the bodies of fit 20 years olds.
I turn it around on 'em ask, "You first." If they tell me, then ask me again, I say, "Enough." Only once has someone been rude enough to persist, to which I said,"Oh, you didn't expect me to actually tell you, did you?"
I’ve always found that if I answer a question with “Why do you ask?” Illicits interesting responses. Mosr people just want to talk about themselves anyway.
My mom went out with a guy who we found out was a spy aftet he died. I always remember when anybody asked him what he did for work, he would snap back with “why do you want to know that”, definitely put the other person on the backfoot.
They always teached me these as etiquette rules, not necessarily gentleman rules; also the last will sound more friendly if you ask "Why don't you have kids?" which can be easily asked from a friend, without being rude and hopping around the topic.
As former Gentleman(if there such a thing lol)... You need to understand that people will always be seeking for your *validation* be it be the example; 1-Be kind & don't brush people off 2-Don't avoid eye contact 3-Don't order ridiculous large-vikings-size meals at restaurants
Agree with all of these, James. One I'd add is asking a woman how old she is. It's forgotten about now but I was always brought up being told to never ask a woman her age. It's best to find other questions to figure out how old she is if you need to. "What year did you graduate?" "When did you start work" etc.
I still think about that time I asked a server how old she was... God, I fumbled that so hard. Never again. I knew the rule too, just got too excited I guess.
I agree with this one but I’ve generalized it to be gender neutral. Frankly, I don’t really think it’s polite or necessary to ask anybody about their age
@@pensivepenguin3000 Agree with you too. I don't ask clearly older men how old they are. If I think someone's closer to my age then I'll ask. Men don't tend to care as much as women.
They’re smart enough to know that when you ask questions like “when did you graduate?”, etc., they know that you’re trying to figure out how old they are…
I to an pleased to see this kind of content . I am a sensitive person , i often am embarrassed by the questions people ask. Generally about money . One is ' how much did that cost ' , this refers to anything really , but usually a obviously high range purchase . Like it's all they want to know , and aren't interested in hearing the long winded explanation of why you bought it and how it works etc.
When deciding a plan for a date, never ask the girl: “what do you want to do” or “where do you want to go” it shows a lack of perpetration on your part, and a lack of effort put in to research into what she likes and what is nearby and fun. It also shows that you don’t do much outside of your normal life and puts pressure on her to make the decisions. Decision making is primarily a masculine role and a true gentleman should have already decided where he is going to take his woman, where, what time, to take as much stress off her shoulders as possible.
I think it's fine to ask what kind of things she likes to do for fun or what food she likes or not. Then you can use that to come up with a plan to invite her out.
Decision making is not necessarily a masculine role. Many women would see this as dominant behaviour so the right thing to do is come up with some suggestions based on your knowledge of her likes and dislikes and then invite her input. That's the polite and inclusive way to make these decisions.
@@iadcrjca …because it relates directly to how much money you make, and it passes judgement…If it’s expensive, and you can afford it, it says that you’re wealthy…And if it’s expensive, but you can’t really afford it, it says that you might have poor judgement…Either way, someone ends up feeling bad!
I ask how much a thing cost. I ask because i'm am just really curious about the product and it's numbers, it has nothing to do with the person. I like to know how much a thing could possibly cost, unless it something big like a car, house. And when other's ask it, i share it unless it someone who has judged my spending in the past (like my parents). I don't care if they can afford it with their income or not. If people find it offensive, that okay and i will have to prevent myself from asking it.
Its always OK, if you are sallaried employee you are a slave in all but name, only people who dont want you go know how much others make are bosses who pay you peanuts, bussinessmen talk money all the time. It shows lack of trust between partners to not talk openly and honestly about money. If someone wanted me to invest or work with and was cloudy about his books i would nope out of there.
I recently walked into a room and instantly recognized that a young lady I know was pregnant and I shut the hell up. Later, when she announced the forthcoming child, I told her when I knew and that I had said nothing to anyone. The discretion and recognition of boundaries was greatly appreciated. The child is now a beautiful 1 year old girl and the parents are very happy. Also we're still friends. Wins all around!
I live in Japan as a foreigner and I am often told “Your Japanese is good”. It sounds like a complement it often seems like it’s based on low expectations, so I don’t like it. Usually they say it after I only say one or two sentences.
In contrast to job, I find a general question of "what industry are you in?" a good opener, it allows most men to tell me about what drives them. Fortunately, coming from Chicago, I have a sense of most industries common in this metropolis. It allows guys to talk about what drives them, where they stand in the social hierarchy and their general inquisitiveness, which are all things I value knowing when interacting.
The money question, unfortunately, gets asked by a lot of women. I've been on the receiving end of that one frequently here in the NYC area. Another thing I'd add is never ask a woman how old she is. I was at a restaurant last week sitting at the bar conversing with the bartender and watching some fella ask that to a woman he was talking to point blank. We both facepalmed in response.
About the First question, it shouldn’t be taboo especially when it concerns colleagues. There is often too much difference in what a person earns for the exact same function. In a world where everything revolves around money it is good to know you are not being screwed over.
A woman can ask a man how tall he is but let a man ask a woman her weight and all hell will break loose. A gentleman is keenly aware of flagrant double standards too.
When a woman asks that question she just took herself off my potential list of potential. 😹 Gals just ask the man to reach for something on a high shelf. 😉
one question is seen as flattery, the other as an insult - there is a power differential, media standards applied to women NEVER apply to men - men are never told to "smile, it might never happen" etc - maybe get to know a woman and see ther world through her eyes before you pass on your "knowledge"
I agree with Question 5. Even asking politely "do you have plans on having a family" is for closer acquaintances and not for casual conversation in my opinion. It's a bit indiscrete.
I always practiced being a gentleman but I asked a close friend once if she was tired. Her husband advised me not to ask that as it implies she doesn't look her best. I thought I was showing empathy. Women can take things differently so always represent them at their best even if they are not.
Great installment! Your polite response suggestions are particularly helpful. Thank you. Personally, I think any questions of a political or religious nature are far too polarizing and potentially volatile today. Asking those sorts of questions right now is more or less asking which side one is supporting, and that sort of information should be kept to oneself. The walls between camps are being built far too high and the hostilities far too intense to get drawn-into any of it.
Don't talk about money, politics or religion. That's what I was taught as a general rule. But of course no rule without exceptions, if one knows the other person very well and it's the right place and time.
In the RAF mess, the golden rule was never talk about Politics, Religion or Women. I guess nowadays it would be appropriate to substitute the last point with 'Members of the opposite sex'
Great suit. Great combination. Great content. Since barbering is in my background I always notice your hair first. Looking great. Just avoid getting the part too high.
Filipino here, and most of these are also commonplace manners including never asking a lady anything beyond her name (never age, salary, marital status, children, etc). Asking where one finished school. It can take a wrong turn towards elitism especially if there are prestigious schools in a society and not everyone can enter them for various reasons. I prefer asking the course someone finished if they mention their job. If it’s made apparent the other person comes from my school or one I am familiar with, then we can discuss further. Another is related to the marriage one: asking why someone is still single. That’s none of anybody’s business and can also be accusatory or condescending, implying the person is not attractive enough to be in a relationship. Strangely, asking someone’s hometown and ethno-linguistic background is not really a problem save for initial shyness. I use it as an icebreaker and either ask about how things are done in their part of the country, or what similarities we have if we hail from the same province or speak the same general language. We also narrow it down further in case an unusual surname is familiar, and there were instances I or others have met distant relations in this way.
Interesting to hear about the similarities - greerings from Germany! One remark: here it is perfectly fine to ask where someone (or his family) is from, as long as it is within Germany. As soon as it might refer to immigration background it can be interpreted in the „wrong way“ or as racist. What sadly implies that there are differences in the value of answers… so you should not ask to avoid to insult sombody… strange times…
I AGREE WITH ALL OF THESE, FINE> BUT MAKE A TAPE LIKE THIS, WHAT WOMEN OR A LADY SHOULDN'T ASK? THEY DO ASK THINGS, I GET INTO AMESS, NOW HOW IN THE DEVIL AM I SUPPOSED TO ANSWER THAT? I JUST FINNISH THAT QUESTION, I LET YOU KNOW, NEXT TIME?!! ( AND SO ON - AND ON AND O - ON . . . )
It may be inappropriate to ask a political affiliation or a religious one. Of course as long as the conversation goes on, one might figure it out. But it’s not polite to ask directly
I prefer not to ask directly, also. Often, it becomes apparent as someone reveals their opinions, but it's invasive to ask. Especially, as some political affiliations or religious beliefs are seen as somewhat taboo, even mainstream ones.
An informative video! I could share it with my friends but i can't. Cus they'll think I'm sending it because they're ill-mannered and always asks the wrong questions. Guess that's the price I've to pay for being a gentleman
As a USN veteran, I too have been asked whether I have killed enemies in action. In my experience, this question has been almost always asked by either a non-veteran or a veteran whose service did not include combat. In either case, I answer with a simple, “Yes”, then I quickly change the topic of conversation, so as to avoid offending those sensitive to such things. The only exception to this rule would be if I was among a group of only other veterans. With regard to receiving verbal thanks for my service, I politely respond, “Thank you for your acknowledgement “ or “Thank you for your support.”
And don't ask for height either if she is really tall. I know a Dutch lady who gets that question all the time (she is about my height). Her standard reply is: "I will tell you how tall I am if you tell me your weight and your age".
Another thing to keep in mind if you are planning to ask somebody if they plan on having kids. Many couples nowadays hold off on children because it is financially tougher to support a family now than ever, which it is one of the reasons for the decreased birth rate. Nobody wants to feel pressured into explaining their financial situation that prevents them from having kids.
As a 20 year old that’s likes to dress up everyday your videos are very inspiring and helpful. I wear a suit and tie to college everyday. Sometimes people tell me I dress up too much. Do you have any advice?
My friend, I am 68 years old, short, 5"09", and a little thin on top. I cannot do anything about those conditions. I can control what I eat, how much I exercise and what I wear. I am always the best dressed man in the room. When others wear jeans and a dress shirt, I wear a suit, for example. I just started dating a former lingere / bikini runway model, she is still smoking hot. She told me, "I like the way you dress, it says a lot about you."
I'd just respond that this is how I like to dress, don't take it to heart, personally I prefer that I'm the best dressed in the room because it makes me stand out, I don't see these questions as a negative as such
Dressing well is an actual skill and an art form. Most folks ask simply because they are jealous & despite your skill, individuality & the attention it gets you. Dressing well will ALWAYS get the attention of quality ladies because it shows that you pay attention to details & if you can take that kind of care for yourself, you’ll likely take good care of her as well. Keep going & you’ll keep growing! 👞
Very suave look in this video. But this video underscores that it's about behavior, not things. Your take on the Door Dash deliveryman in another video was genuinely wise and moving.
Common ones that I thought would be included are age/weight. Those are nosy questions that honestly you shouldn’t care about. If for some reason you really want an answer don’t ask, but reveal yours and maybe you’ll get it.
A Gentleman makes sure others are comfortable in his companion. Therefore avoid offensive, tricky topics. Tell what yourself are doing, planning, enjoying and let others tell about theirs.
I'm so glad I found your channel. I was on the lookout for real MASCULINE MEN as role models. I'm sick and tired of men like the tates and other red pillers. I found a solid one for sure! Thank you big brother ❤️
Im a bodybuilder and what I think you should never ask is: Do you take steroids? It is a very sensitive and complex topic in all sports and is considered just rude.
@@MaxEdge-pf3pp as in all professional sports. And asking an athlete this question is just plain "cavemanish", rude and obnoxious. It comes from lack of understanding and judgmental positioning rather than genuine interest.
If this was already mentioned, then I apologize... But a Gentleman should NEVER ask a lady her age. When she is ready, she will reveal it to you on her own.
Never assume relationship or condition. I once had a salesman lose a very large sale by asking me how old my granddaughter is, and it was, in fact, my daughter.
Excellent video, thank you. Most questions like these are negatively framed from a mindset that is predatory, pompous, controlling/egotistical, so anything that comes from this form of aggression would be unlike a gentleman. I can't stand hyper-obvious questions like, "Oh, you last name is Antonelli (for example), are you Italian? Do you speak Italian? Ever go back to Italy?" Yes my name is Italian, no I'm not Italian, no, never been to Italy so I can't go back. Or, "You look Italian." Uh, sure. "Ever watch the Sopranos? Do you have a big family?" No and no. "Ay, how you doin', eh? You talkin' to me?" Uh, what? Born and raised in Delaware. I can show you where to get great blue crabs, how to get to Rehoboth Beach, and where the best dog parks are around here.
BETTER YET??? WHY? FOR WHAT? WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW??! I THOGHT YOU ARE INTERESTED IN ME, NOT MY POCKET BOOK??!! SHEE - EE WILL WAKE UP, FOR TWO SEONDS OR THREE? THEY WOULDN'T EXPECT IT!
Lots of gentlemen have asked about the suit I'm wearing here, so this is a full outfit breakdown:
Suit - go.shopmy.us/p-8450625
Shirt - go.shopmy.us/p-8605486
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Love your input! Much needed reminder for most people. However, do take care of your tie - it often seems crooked, like bent to one side. Just a thought
I'm 64 and have lived as a gentleman my entire life. I am delighted to see someone spreading these techniques to younger men.
Keep up the good work.
Never ask a woman her age. Never ask a war veteran if he killed anyone or how many he killed. Never compliment a woman on her looks in front of another woman.
What's the reason behind the third one?
@@josuastangl7140 The other woman will get offended and/or jealous that you don't compliment her.
@@Neiiiiil If it's two women, I'll compliment both.
If it’s a bigger group and you’re not expected to talk to everyone individually, I think it’s fine to just compliment the one you’re talking to.
Withholding genuine compliments because of what bystanders might think seems weird to me.
@@josuastangl7140 I agree with you. I meant in a situation where there are two women and you only compliment one, the other will get jealous
@@Neiiiiil good take, that makes complete sense
I heard once that the definition of a gentleman is “a man who makes everyone around him feel comfortable and dignified”. I’d add, “a gentleman is a man who carries himself with dignity”.
Dignity is the mother of all virtues.
If you have dignity first of all
You have self respect
And then
there is no grey zones.
You cannot make mistakes.
Everything is crystal clear in every aspect of your life.
If you have dignity
Life becomes easy and beautiful.
A gentleman is someone who sticks to his promises, has principles, moral character, dignity and humility.
Tom Hanks once said, “Never ask a woman if she is pregnant unless you actually see the baby’s head coming out of the body.”
Why not lol
😂😂
Haha, well said.
… At which time, hopefully such a question wouldn’t need to be asked
What if she says she is not pregnant yet has a baby coming from that part of her body? Is it proper to ask a follow up question?
Re: Pregnant women. I remember being in a lovely little second-hand bookshop in the Cotswolds. The place was rather cramped. My wife was trying to manoeuvre around one of the tables which displayed books. The male owner, seeing this, and being concerned for the welfare of my wife, said "come my dear, there is more room over here." He said this looking down at her stomach. The clear implication was that he thought that my wife was pregnant. It was not particularly subtle, but was certainly well meant.
Yes he clearly thought that my wife was pregnant and was doing his uttermost to be kind and considerate. Who could possibly be offended? We both laughed about it as we left the shop.
Yet, as it turned out, the shop proprietor knew better than we did. For we shortly afterwards discovered that my wife WAS pregnant.
MORAL: Sometimes it is more important to be kind and considerate than to be tactful.
Haha good story. Yeah, I think in this case his action was the better alternative than perhaps letting your wife struggle around the furniture. In the end, his mindset was honest and genuine. It would’ve been different if the physical space wasn’t as such, and the owner simply said “oh congrats, how far along are you?” 😂
Our subconscious observes more and subtle things than we think we do.
His subconscious observed her body language & mannerisms,
which, in turn, were governed by her subconscious - very well aware of her pregnancy.
I've been in two situations where someone knew that a woman was pregnant when the mom-to-be had just found out that morning. So it can happen.
Since he addressed your wife as my dear, he was probably older and well experienced in such matters.
A family with two grownup daughters was co-travelling with me. The first impression that I got on seeing the girls was that they are ready for marriage. They were, in fact, traveling for the marriage of the girls. That's when I realised that I'm getting old.
@@pushpakumardaniel3751haha, what wouldn't I give to have observation skills like yours without the age. Why can't you have wisdom without being old??!
Managing dating life as a man is really hard nowadays. You need to know rules of the game, you need to stay calm if date doesn't go as planned. My tip is to be yourself and chase your goals. Chasing women didn't bring any good to anyone, it can just put you in misery. But when women start chasing you, you need to know what to do on the first few dates (I recommend reading First date playbook: A step by step guide to a great start).
Excellent thoughts.
In Texas you never ask a rancher how many cattle he has or how much acreage his ranch is. It’s akin to asking a man how much money he makes. Good video👍
Very interesting cultural detail. Thank you for letting me know.
You are very welcome. I think you are preforming a very necessary service for young men.
This rule of thumb in Texas reminds me of a joke.
One day, several wealthy Texas ranchers were sitting at a bar. Each was bragging about how many thousand acres their ranch was. They noticed one guy at the end of the bar who didn't say a word. One of the wealthy ranchers yelled to him, "Hey buddy, how many acres you got?" The guy at the end of the bar, took a sip of his whiskey and replied, "five". All of the wealthy ranchers erupted with laughter. The wealthy rancher sarcastically asked, "Five huh? So where are these five acres?" The guy at the end of the bar replies, "Manhattan".
For those not familiar with Manhattan, it is the most expensive area in New York City and I assume the US overall. Five acres in Manhattan would be worth hundreds of millions most likely, far more than those ranchers would have among all of them combined.
I like that joke😂
It reminds me of another old joke about the Bostonian who was bragging about his ancestor, Paul Revere, in a Texas bar near the Alamo.
The lanky old Texan looked at him and pondered the story of Paul Revere’s ride and quietly said, “I remember that guy. Ain’t he the yankee who had to skedaddle out of Boston and ask for help?”
A New Yorker asked a Texan how much property he owned. He replied 100 acres. The New Yorker asked, "What do you call such a tiny little ranch?" The Texan replied, "Downtown Dallas."
as a veteran I have been asked if I had ever killed anyone, For those of us that haven't served in direct combat it can feel like our service wasn't enough. for those who did serve in combat, you've just made him/her see the face of every soul they have ended in service of their country. Although most of us don't know how to respond to "thank you for your service" we really do appreciate when you say it.
Once as a kid I asked my father and my uncles if they ever had killed someone from war. The way their face turns ice cold made me never question that again.
I'm the opposite, I have no problems with it. Afghanistan was wild and Iraq was even downright hilarious.
But I'm of the mindset, I didn't join the Army to give people hugs....
@@deadlyapollo Go, get yourself diagnosed. Psychopathy, now, can be diagnosed with brain scans.
@@ndahiya3730 Why on earth would I want that?
🫡
We sleep soundly at night because souls like you wait wearily to visit violence to those ready to do us harm.
Thank you for your service!
"Whats your body count?" Any woman will be offended at this. If she is REALLY offended, her number is high.
No, it means that she respects herself too much to stand for your brutish behaviour
@@hisbiggestdream How come honesty with your partner about is ''brutish'' ?
"What's yours?"
Dude.
Men get more permanently damaged in their early relationships with girls than women.
@@hisbiggestdream i think its pretty strange that only women get bothered by this question since it, per women, doesn't matter.
@@spectan5046 What do you mean only women are bothered by this question? First of all don't generalise, secondly - have you ever seen any alpha male podcast???
If you encounter somebody with a disability, don’t ask about it. As somebody with a physical disability myself (in my case, vision impairment) because I carry a white cane, people feel like they can just come up and ask, “are you really blind?” Or “how long have you been blind?” I understand this is often genuine curiosity, but this is a personal thing, and everybody has their own boundaries around it. In the spirit of offering a more tasteful alternative, I certainly don’t mind if somebody makes an open ended comment like, “let me know if I can assist you with anything, sir.” This doesn’t assume I’m in need of help, but lets me know somebody is nearby and available, should the need arise.
For the record, because I know somebody will ask now about how I am watching this video or using the comments section, software exists called a screen reader. It’s built into pretty much every operating system, including the iPhone I’m using to interact here. Cheers gents.
Edit: somebody in the replies made a good point. I don’t intend to speak for everybody with a disability, because no too disabilities are alike, nor are two individuals with the same disability. It’s not that you should never ask; more about how you do so. Remember that person Has the same sense of pride and dignity you do, so just treat them like an equal and don’t speak to them like they are a child or as though they’re fragile, etc. Hope this clarifies!
Let me know if I can assist you. That is a lovely and polite line you have provided. Thank you.
How are you watching this video and using the comments section? (I keeed, I keeed.)
I never ask the person. I let them feel compelled to tell me when comfortable.
I am hearing impaired myself and I do personally appreciate it when people ask how they can interact with me better such as facing me when they speak for lip reading, speaking up and getting my attention before talking to me.
@@scottmccauley8128 that’s fair, and I don’t mean to speak for everybody with a disability, because not only is every disability unique, but every person who has that disability may have their own needs and preferences
Many years ago (in the 1960s), one of my Dad's friends (from his university days) who had been a bachelor for many years, saved up and took a trip to Europe to attend a medical conference. At the conference he met a lovely Flemish woman (Hugette) with the most delightful accent, who was in the same field as him. They courted for a while and eventually married. He was in his 50s, and I think she may have been about the same age, or perhaps mid-late 40s.
Occasionally at a social gathering, someone would ask her if there were any children on the way, and she would turn to her husband, and in an almost coquettish French accent (the Flemish accent is very similar) say "'Orrie, you must try harder." Which of course had everyone laughing. Everyone realized they were not likely to have children, but they just loved her response.
That's actually an insult to her husband. If a man had said something about the woman's looks there would be immediate divorce
@@313_Sherry It was never intended that way. They were past their child-bearing years and had probably decided that children were not something they wanted. She was clearly indicating that she and her husband were having sex, so they weren't celibate. You can't get a woman pregnant by simply trying harder if you are already having sex: that's ridiculous, and that was the spirit in which she said it. She was making a joke and it didn't put him down, merely laughed at the idea that having children was even part of their plans.
Don't go looking for insults where none are intended. That's just breeds resentment and destroys the humor that lubricates the wheels of social harmony. Everyone gets up-tight and looking for insults, finding them where they don't exist. It's also known as having a chip on your shoulder. It seems today that a very large number of people in the US have this attitude and it is destroying a lot of social harmony, setting people against one another. How is a comment about her looks somehow equivalent to a comment about the impossibility of having children? Why would a comment about her looks lead to an immediate divorce? These people were not wishy-washy, over-sensitive cry-babies: they were realists living in the real world. Words can mean everything or nothing, but they are only words. This couple loved each other and mere words, especially a joke, were not going to break them up. They had traversed the entire planet to be together: would that be thrown away because of a mere comment. People today need to harden their skins a lot: reality is a crunch and the world doesn't coddle you, nor can you expect it to. The world owes you nothing: live with it. I suggest you try one of Gent Z's other videos: ruclips.net/video/ow1zcMKZ4qw/видео.html
@@nwjh1957 ok soo quick question. Weren't they past their age of looking beautiful. Wasn't she old. And obviously she was cause she can't have kids now so wouldn't that be an insult.
@@313_Sherry Horrie was never a 'beautiful' man, but he was kind, generous, capable, and gentle as a doctor (he was an ENT, so I visited him a few times as a child). He was dedicated to his profession, and so very good at it. He was quiet and easy to get on with. He had a very good heart. Is that sufficient for someone to be 'beautiful'?
Hugette was a capable, funny, easy-going, very smart, well-presented and rather good-looking woman in her late 40s or so. She dressed well, but not extravagantly, and her accent was SO charming. She was definitely attractive, and that's far more real than 'beautiful.' I don't know if I would describe her as beautiful, but she was just a wonderful person. She complemented Horrie extremely well and they were clearly very attached to each other.
'Beautiful' is very subjective. Are sharpened, pointy teeth beautiful? They are to some African tribes. How about long necks stretched out with rings? The epitome of beauty to some folks. Bones through the nose, tattoos, stretched ear lobes....? It's all very subjective. What one person sees as beauty, someone else thinks is hideous or even repulsive. In modern US dating, how many trivial things are supposed to give girls the 'ick' and completely turn them off a guy?
Attraction, on the other hand, I can measure, reasonably objectively. How many guys look at that girl admiringly out of all the guys who see her? How many might approach her in a suitable social situation? All measurable and all real determinants of attractiveness. Hugette was attractive, even if she didn't fit some people's idea of beautiful. She was older than 'youthful,' but she was not 'old.'
It has been said that when a man says that you're pretty, he's looking at your face. When he says you're sexy, he's looking at your body. But when he says you're beautiful, he's looking through your eyes and into your heart. For many men, 'beauty' is about far more than appearances, and experienced men understand that appearance is worth very little, and even less over time.
@@nwjh1957 Indian here. You said, "Horrie = kind, generous, capable, and gentle.
Hugette = capable, funny, easy-going, very smart, well-presented and rather good-looking."
What does the word "capable" mean here?
He's one: asking a woman "are those real?"
I think he didn't mention those because it's quite obvious.
It's always easier and more polite to simply test them yourself with a gentle squeeze
If you are experienced you can tell just by looking. In case you're still having doubts, just politely ask to feel them.
@@timwashburn8553 Haha..An entire episode of Seinfeld, dealt with this very question….As we found out at the very end of the show, the woman in question exclaimed…“They’re real….and they’re spectacular…!!”
@@riccardodiluca6862 Ironically, many of those that have had the augmentation, are quite happy to show them off!
Good video. I am 54 and it has taken me until now to stop discussing money. Probably because I was a financial planner, however, I now realise how uncomfortable it makes people in social settings. And politics.
How’d you like being a planner?
I have really come to enjoy this channel. America needs a person such as yourself to bring this type of lifestyle to our culture, which is sorely needed. This video was a good reminder for us older gentlemen but especially needed for the younger set. Thank you.
Thank you, Joel. Unfortunately, gentlemanly values have been disregarded in many parts of the world, but I'm on a mission to bring them back.
@@Gent.Z Please do, it is a great mission, we all need that. Thanks for the video
Never let people know how much money you make. Even your family. It never works out well.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see by hints. .
Or I guess inc you’ve been around extreme billionaire money. You can size people up pretty easily. It’s an energy.
And no you can’t hide money. You express it in your energy even if you’re wearing sweats.
Can confirm. Some dogwater relatives would ask money from you, if they think or know you’re making a lot of cash. Spoiler alert: they’ll likely never pay you back.
Do tell coworkers though, there needs to be more transparency about salaries in the workforce today
If someone asks me how much money I have, I just reply "None, the bank has it all".
@@oml81mm Why keep it so private though? I'm genuinely curious
In Scandinavian polite culture you never ask anyone if they have children
That is so civilised
That’s so beta
Not true anymore
@@justinlarsen2281 Nope
Why? Genuinely curious
I love this video, popped up in my feed. Will for sure follow this channel.
But it makes me realize as a gen zer my parents tried to raise me into a gentleman, and I must say, they did a fantastic job
YES, I LIKE THIS VIDEO TOO. BUT THERE SHOULD BE SOME ONE, TO TECH WOMEN, WHAT = T * O OR N * O * T = TO ASK?!! LOTS OF TIMES, THEY GO, WAY TOO FAR, WHEN IT'S REALY, NINE OF THEIR BUSINESS!
Related to the family planning question is when people say, “You’re done having children, right?” Very invasive yet quite common (and we only have 2 children)
Even better, when you have one kid: When are you planning on the next one? And when you have more than two: You need to stop
I had no idea people asked that. But obviously any question that implies whether they should or should not have more kids is rude. Thats entirely their decicion. Best to ask as neutrally as you can if you gonna ask
My highest compliment to you for reaching the milestone of 100.000 subscribers. I’m very happy to see your journey of success over the last year. Thank you for making this world a better place.
Thank you very much. I'm glad to have you as one of the 100,000.
@@Gent.Z Much appreciated.
The light blue and light grey suits you quite well James. We share similar appearance, blue eyes blonde hair etc. I have always favoured this style, especially in the warmer months. Keep up the good work you are doing a great job.
I wore a coat and tie then I moved to a small town. Only funnels and weddings now. At 73 many more funerals than weddings. I assume I'll get to wear a suit one more time anyway.
@ not sure if you have ever been to Italy, but in every small town all the men your age wear suit’s every day. I dated an Italian girl in my early 20s her grandfather used to wear immaculate tailored suits every day, even if we where just having dinner at home, no body thought it was strange or out of place but I’ll tell you one thing he got a lot of respect from everyone in the family and every where we went. If I was in my 70s and I wanted to wear a suit I’d do it you’ve earned it. Life is short, if you’re not hurting anyone do what makes you happy I say.
Asking…”How much did that cost?”
Also, asking, “Where are you from?, What is your heritage?, etc., can be very tricky questions to ask… As a world traveler, and someone with genuine a interest in peoples’ backgrounds, such questions can lead to very interesting and enlightening conversations however, these days, many people get quickly offended…
This one is tricky. Having one immigrant parent and a foreign name, I have been both asked and wanting to ask.
The problem when getting this question, especially if you have negative experiences with racism, is that it sounds like: you obviously don't belong here.
This is unfortunate, because I agree with you that it can lead to very exciting conversations.
The ones who get offended are not worth it
I live in a mainly Asian suburb of Sydney (Australia), and you never ask 'where are you from', because there are many, many Asian Australians who would be immensely offended by such a question. People whose great-grandparents immigrated.
@@ronwilliams4184 3-4 generation Australians will obviously get offended by this question if a white man asks it. What they probably feel is - you only came 2 generations earlier, what makes you question me being here. You are as much a foreigner as I am.
All assumption. I never visited Australia.
If they have an unusual name, just say, "That's a beautiful/interesting name." If they have an accent, say, "I love your accent!" and leave it at that.
What a suit, what an outfit! Congratulations! I prefer these wide ties. I am enjoying your presentations pretty much. Please keep up this excellent work. Well done!
My wife and I get “why don’t you have kids yet?” a lot.
We’re in our 40s now, but look a decade younger in our faces and have the bodies of fit 20 years olds.
You are explaining basic things with such a dignity there is no way of not convincing a viewer that this is true.
I am always the best dressed man in the room. When I get asked about my income, I reply, "I am financially comfortable."
Rockyfeller: I'm not comfortable yet, more please!
That's quite rude of them if you ask me. I would respond with something like "would you like to know my bank card pin number too?"
I turn it around on 'em ask, "You first." If they tell me, then ask me again, I say, "Enough." Only once has someone been rude enough to persist, to which I said,"Oh, you didn't expect me to actually tell you, did you?"
"I spent all my money on this suit".
If a gal asks you your income, ask her how many men she's been intimate with? I find that shuts them up.
Love your outfit 👌🏽
Thank you. I'm still wearing it as I write this comment
No BLING!!!
I’ve always found that if I answer a question with “Why do you ask?” Illicits interesting responses. Mosr people just want to talk about themselves anyway.
That is perhaps a great way to handle it ! (my opinion). I am very curious to know some of the results. How do they handle that reply?
My mom went out with a guy who we found out was a spy aftet he died. I always remember when anybody asked him what he did for work, he would snap back with “why do you want to know that”, definitely put the other person on the backfoot.
A gentleman does not need to remind anyone who they are, nor who he is.
EXCELLENT ADVICE. THANKS FOR YOUR INVALUABLE COMMENTS.
They always teached me these as etiquette rules, not necessarily gentleman rules; also the last will sound more friendly if you ask "Why don't you have kids?" which can be easily asked from a friend, without being rude and hopping around the topic.
As former Gentleman(if there such a thing lol)... You need to understand that people will always be seeking for your *validation* be it be the example;
1-Be kind & don't brush people off
2-Don't avoid eye contact
3-Don't order ridiculous large-vikings-size meals at restaurants
But what if I am a very hungry, large viking?
Agree with all of these, James. One I'd add is asking a woman how old she is. It's forgotten about now but I was always brought up being told to never ask a woman her age. It's best to find other questions to figure out how old she is if you need to. "What year did you graduate?" "When did you start work" etc.
I still think about that time I asked a server how old she was... God, I fumbled that so hard. Never again. I knew the rule too, just got too excited I guess.
I agree with this one but I’ve generalized it to be gender neutral. Frankly, I don’t really think it’s polite or necessary to ask anybody about their age
Fishing? Ask, "Who was your favorite band, growing up?"
@@pensivepenguin3000 Agree with you too. I don't ask clearly older men how old they are. If I think someone's closer to my age then I'll ask. Men don't tend to care as much as women.
They’re smart enough to know that when you ask questions like “when did you graduate?”, etc., they know that you’re trying to figure out how old they are…
I’m glad “Can you make me a sandwich,” isn’t too offensive.
At this point it's dark humor
I to an pleased to see this kind of content . I am a sensitive person , i often am embarrassed by the questions people ask. Generally about money . One is ' how much did that cost ' , this refers to anything really , but usually a obviously high range purchase . Like it's all they want to know , and aren't interested in hearing the long winded explanation of why you bought it and how it works etc.
When deciding a plan for a date, never ask the girl: “what do you want to do” or “where do you want to go” it shows a lack of perpetration on your part, and a lack of effort put in to research into what she likes and what is nearby and fun. It also shows that you don’t do much outside of your normal life and puts pressure on her to make the decisions. Decision making is primarily a masculine role and a true gentleman should have already decided where he is going to take his woman, where, what time, to take as much stress off her shoulders as possible.
Good post!
I think it's fine to ask what kind of things she likes to do for fun or what food she likes or not. Then you can use that to come up with a plan to invite her out.
I completely agree, thank you for pointing this out.
preparation perhaps?
Decision making is not necessarily a masculine role. Many women would see this as dominant behaviour so the right thing to do is come up with some suggestions based on your knowledge of her likes and dislikes and then invite her input. That's the polite and inclusive way to make these decisions.
You should be the next 'James Bond'. Definitely got the aura. Your channel is divine.
He would fit Ian Fleming’s vision of Mr. Bond.
He will be the DailyWire+ James Bond.
I have a friend who always asks, “how much was that?”, “what did that cost?”, or, “what did you pay for that?” I find it terribly rude.
I did this myself a couple of times. I'll be more careful in the future.
@@iadcrjca …because it relates directly to how much money you make, and it passes judgement…If it’s expensive, and you can afford it, it says that you’re wealthy…And if it’s expensive, but you can’t really afford it, it says that you might have poor judgement…Either way, someone ends up feeling bad!
@iadcrjca I don't think he is a friend of yours. Unless you simply dress him like that for convenience.
@@George.Alexandrakis.-rz1sm 😂😂 Good one!
I ask how much a thing cost. I ask because i'm am just really curious about the product and it's numbers, it has nothing to do with the person.
I like to know how much a thing could possibly cost, unless it something big like a car, house.
And when other's ask it, i share it unless it someone who has judged my spending in the past (like my parents). I don't care if they can afford it with their income or not.
If people find it offensive, that okay and i will have to prevent myself from asking it.
When is it okay to ask someone "How much money do you make?" - - - - - When they work at the mint! 🙂
Good One!
Oof, well played.
Its always OK, if you are sallaried employee you are a slave in all but name, only people who dont want you go know how much others make are bosses who pay you peanuts, bussinessmen talk money all the time. It shows lack of trust between partners to not talk openly and honestly about money. If someone wanted me to invest or work with and was cloudy about his books i would nope out of there.
@djocharablaikan8601 most of the time, it leads to jealousy and resentment.
There is a reason why talking about money is avoided by most.
Besides, the government takes a dim view if you make money and don't work there...
Brilliant ,and excellent suit.
I recently walked into a room and instantly recognized that a young lady I know was pregnant and I shut the hell up. Later, when she announced the forthcoming child, I told her when I knew and that I had said nothing to anyone. The discretion and recognition of boundaries was greatly appreciated. The child is now a beautiful 1 year old girl and the parents are very happy. Also we're still friends. Wins all around!
I live in Japan as a foreigner and I am often told “Your Japanese is good”. It sounds like a complement it often seems like it’s based on low expectations, so I don’t like it. Usually they say it after I only say one or two sentences.
In contrast to job, I find a general question of "what industry are you in?" a good opener, it allows most men to tell me about what drives them. Fortunately, coming from Chicago, I have a sense of most industries common in this metropolis. It allows guys to talk about what drives them, where they stand in the social hierarchy and their general inquisitiveness, which are all things I value knowing when interacting.
The money question, unfortunately, gets asked by a lot of women. I've been on the receiving end of that one frequently here in the NYC area. Another thing I'd add is never ask a woman how old she is. I was at a restaurant last week sitting at the bar conversing with the bartender and watching some fella ask that to a woman he was talking to point blank. We both facepalmed in response.
Your lecture is really appreciative ❣️
About the First question, it shouldn’t be taboo especially when it concerns colleagues. There is often too much difference in what a person earns for the exact same function. In a world where everything revolves around money it is good to know you are not being screwed over.
A woman can ask a man how tall he is but let a man ask a woman her weight and all hell will break loose. A gentleman is keenly aware of flagrant double standards too.
When a woman asks that question she just took herself off my potential list of potential. 😹
Gals just ask the man to reach for something on a high shelf. 😉
one question is seen as flattery, the other as an insult - there is a power differential, media standards applied to women NEVER apply to men - men are never told to "smile, it might never happen" etc - maybe get to know a woman and see ther world through her eyes before you pass on your "knowledge"
@ - Simping in public now?
I agree with Question 5. Even asking politely "do you have plans on having a family" is for closer acquaintances and not for casual conversation in my opinion. It's a bit indiscrete.
Never ask someone a question which you are not willing answer yourself.
Also, just do not ask personal questions, as explained in the video.
I always practiced being a gentleman but I asked a close friend once if she was tired. Her husband advised me not to ask that as it implies she doesn't look her best. I thought I was showing empathy. Women can take things differently so always represent them at their best even if they are not.
I'm glad I found your channel; My parents already gave me preparations manner-wise, but it's nice that I can learn more.
This is his definition of Gentleman
Which society permits
But as everyone knows
The Real gentleman is who is more humane
Great installment! Your polite response suggestions are particularly helpful. Thank you. Personally, I think any questions of a political or religious nature are far too polarizing and potentially volatile today. Asking those sorts of questions right now is more or less asking which side one is supporting, and that sort of information should be kept to oneself. The walls between camps are being built far too high and the hostilities far too intense to get drawn-into any of it.
Don't talk about money, politics or religion. That's what I was taught as a general rule.
But of course no rule without exceptions, if one knows the other person very well and it's the right place and time.
In the RAF mess, the golden rule was never talk about Politics, Religion or Women. I guess nowadays it would be appropriate to substitute the last point with 'Members of the opposite sex'
@@denisripley8699 111 The mess in the mess hall.
Thanks for sharing this video.
Great suit. Great combination. Great content. Since barbering is in my background I always notice your hair first. Looking great. Just avoid getting the part too high.
In Italy it was impolite to ask someone what they did for a living.
Filipino here, and most of these are also commonplace manners including never asking a lady anything beyond her name (never age, salary, marital status, children, etc).
Asking where one finished school. It can take a wrong turn towards elitism especially if there are prestigious schools in a society and not everyone can enter them for various reasons. I prefer asking the course someone finished if they mention their job. If it’s made apparent the other person comes from my school or one I am familiar with, then we can discuss further.
Another is related to the marriage one: asking why someone is still single. That’s none of anybody’s business and can also be accusatory or condescending, implying the person is not attractive enough to be in a relationship.
Strangely, asking someone’s hometown and ethno-linguistic background is not really a problem save for initial shyness. I use it as an icebreaker and either ask about how things are done in their part of the country, or what similarities we have if we hail from the same province or speak the same general language. We also narrow it down further in case an unusual surname is familiar, and there were instances I or others have met distant relations in this way.
Interesting to hear about the similarities - greerings from Germany!
One remark: here it is perfectly fine to ask where someone (or his family) is from, as long as it is within Germany. As soon as it might refer to immigration background it can be interpreted in the „wrong way“ or as racist. What sadly implies that there are differences in the value of answers… so you should not ask to avoid to insult sombody… strange times…
You are spot on with all of these.
Make a video about 5 questions to ask as a gentleman in a social setting.
I AGREE WITH ALL OF THESE, FINE> BUT MAKE A TAPE LIKE THIS, WHAT WOMEN OR A LADY SHOULDN'T ASK? THEY DO ASK THINGS, I GET INTO AMESS, NOW HOW IN THE DEVIL AM I SUPPOSED TO ANSWER THAT? I JUST FINNISH THAT QUESTION, I LET YOU KNOW, NEXT TIME?!! ( AND SO ON - AND ON AND O - ON . . . )
It may be inappropriate to ask a political affiliation or a religious one. Of course as long as the conversation goes on, one might figure it out. But it’s not polite to ask directly
I prefer not to ask directly, also. Often, it becomes apparent as someone reveals their opinions, but it's invasive to ask. Especially, as some political affiliations or religious beliefs are seen as somewhat taboo, even mainstream ones.
@joaquinequiroz6714 -
What if its the french-Canadian leader of your country wearing blakface makeup and a turban?
An informative video! I could share it with my friends but i can't. Cus they'll think I'm sending it because they're ill-mannered and always asks the wrong questions.
Guess that's the price I've to pay for being a gentleman
As a USN veteran, I too have been asked whether I have killed enemies in action. In my experience, this question has been almost always asked by either a non-veteran or a veteran whose service did not include combat. In either case, I answer with a simple, “Yes”, then I quickly change the topic of conversation, so as to avoid offending those sensitive to such things. The only exception to this rule would be if I was among a group of only other veterans.
With regard to receiving verbal thanks for my service, I politely respond, “Thank you for your acknowledgement “ or “Thank you for your support.”
Best topic.Attracting Presentations.Thank you Sir.❤
The two biggest ones I learned were never ask a woman her age or weight.
Only ask as a response to questions about your height or income, after an uncomfortably honest answer, of course.
What if she is really big and you really want to know her weight??
And don't ask for height either if she is really tall. I know a Dutch lady who gets that question all the time (she is about my height). Her standard reply is: "I will tell you how tall I am if you tell me your weight and your age".
Christopher Hitchens once said: „A gentleman is never rude by accident.“
I enjoy your series.
It should be common sense to avoid asking these types of questions. Then again, many have forgotten what common sense is.
“ common sense is no longer common “ you mean ?
When I meet a lady the first thing I ask is “how much do you weigh?” That way I can instantly compliment her on how well she carries it.
Thank you, Sir Bond.
Another thing to keep in mind if you are planning to ask somebody if they plan on having kids. Many couples nowadays hold off on children because it is financially tougher to support a family now than ever, which it is one of the reasons for the decreased birth rate. Nobody wants to feel pressured into explaining their financial situation that prevents them from having kids.
Thanks for the video, 🥰 it's very informative.
Excellent video once again, thank you
Don’t ask personal medical issues like ‘when are you going to fix your face?’
As a 20 year old that’s likes to dress up everyday your videos are very inspiring and helpful. I wear a suit and tie to college everyday. Sometimes people tell me I dress up too much. Do you have any advice?
My friend, I am 68 years old, short, 5"09", and a little thin on top. I cannot do anything about those conditions. I can control what I eat, how much I exercise and what I wear. I am always the best dressed man in the room. When others wear jeans and a dress shirt, I wear a suit, for example. I just started dating a former lingere / bikini runway model, she is still smoking hot. She told me, "I like the way you dress, it says a lot about you."
I admire your individuality. Keep doing it. Everyone else thinks they are so hip but you are the real individualist.
I'd just respond that this is how I like to dress, don't take it to heart, personally I prefer that I'm the best dressed in the room because it makes me stand out, I don't see these questions as a negative as such
You are already on the path to a bright future. A man who walks outside putting his best self forward.
Dressing well is an actual skill and an art form. Most folks ask simply because they are jealous & despite your skill, individuality & the attention it gets you. Dressing well will ALWAYS get the attention of quality ladies because it shows that you pay attention to details & if you can take that kind of care for yourself, you’ll likely take good care of her as well. Keep going & you’ll keep growing! 👞
Fantastic video as always James, cheers.
Very suave look in this video. But this video underscores that it's about behavior, not things. Your take on the Door Dash deliveryman in another video was genuinely wise and moving.
'What happened to your face?' can also sometimes be considered rude.
My favorite channel, truly phenomenal information. ❤
Thank you very much. I'm glad to have you here
I would never ask about health / medical issues.
Common ones that I thought would be included are age/weight. Those are nosy questions that honestly you shouldn’t care about. If for some reason you really want an answer don’t ask, but reveal yours and maybe you’ll get it.
Thank you, now i know 5 questions to ask on first date
Don't forget cultures. In the place I'm living the first question is religion and the 2nd is salary. Others are secondary.
In polite company, one should never talk about sex, politics or religion. That is old school advice, but still valid.
How can I get a stronger mindset? Handeling difficulty, addictions or regret? Great video by the way.
Never ask a lady her age, unless you’re getting her information for some kind of official record, like a hospital admissions form, etc.
Great suit, James. May I ask where you bought it? The pocket square complements it perfectly.
Thank you. I just added the links to everything I'm wearing in the description.
A diplomat, or gentleman, is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday, but never her age.
A gentleman is disciplined, and makes his dawned bed as soon as he gets up for the day.
A Gentleman makes sure others are comfortable in his companion. Therefore avoid offensive, tricky topics. Tell what yourself are doing, planning, enjoying and let others tell about theirs.
I'm so glad I found your channel. I was on the lookout for real MASCULINE MEN as role models. I'm sick and tired of men like the tates and other red pillers.
I found a solid one for sure! Thank you big brother ❤️
Im a bodybuilder and what I think you should never ask is: Do you take steroids?
It is a very sensitive and complex topic in all sports and is considered just rude.
So the answer is yes.
@@MaxEdge-pf3pp as in all professional sports. And asking an athlete this question is just plain "cavemanish", rude and obnoxious.
It comes from lack of understanding and judgmental positioning rather than genuine interest.
@@prawdziwypanjablko you sound ashamed. Honesty is usually monosyllabic.
@@prawdziwypanjablko you sound like a cheerleader infront of the makeup mirror.
@@MaxEdge-pf3pp and you sir sound like this channel is not for you. Take care in life. All the best wishes and begone.
Things not to discuss, politics, religion, medical (personal) issues. Have fun
If this was already mentioned, then I apologize... But a Gentleman should NEVER ask a lady her age. When she is ready, she will reveal it to you on her own.
Never assume relationship or condition. I once had a salesman lose a very large sale by asking me how old my granddaughter is, and it was, in fact, my daughter.
Total class as always. Have a nice start of the week James!
Thank you. You too, sir.
Some of these are just plain COMMON SENSE, you really shouldn’t care that much.
Your tie reminds me of my Dad in the late 70s
Excellent video, thank you. Most questions like these are negatively framed from a mindset that is predatory, pompous, controlling/egotistical, so anything that comes from this form of aggression would be unlike a gentleman. I can't stand hyper-obvious questions like, "Oh, you last name is Antonelli (for example), are you Italian? Do you speak Italian? Ever go back to Italy?" Yes my name is Italian, no I'm not Italian, no, never been to Italy so I can't go back. Or, "You look Italian." Uh, sure. "Ever watch the Sopranos? Do you have a big family?" No and no. "Ay, how you doin', eh? You talkin' to me?" Uh, what? Born and raised in Delaware. I can show you where to get great blue crabs, how to get to Rehoboth Beach, and where the best dog parks are around here.
When people ask me personal questions , I always say; Why do you want to know?
BETTER YET??? WHY? FOR WHAT? WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW??! I THOGHT YOU ARE INTERESTED IN ME, NOT MY POCKET BOOK??!! SHEE - EE WILL WAKE UP, FOR TWO SEONDS OR THREE? THEY WOULDN'T EXPECT IT!