Living with Social Anxiety | my story & advice
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- Опубликовано: 9 июл 2024
- Opening Up About My Social Anxiety | childhood, high school, college, and post grad life | Sign up for BetterHelp here: betterhelp.com/renee | Thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring this video!
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I honestly have a very bad social anxiety that I don’t know what my real personality is.
This is something I struggle with too! It can be hard to find who you are/be proud of who you are when society highly favors extroverts. Just know you are not alone! I have a RUclips channel with my twin sister and we post some anxiety/mental health related videos and we're trying to promote our channel to people who might potentially relate/find that kind of content interesting! I would love if you would check us out! :)
Aïcha Salvatore dude, your real personality comes out when u are alone ✌🏻
Eduard Sokcevic true facts
The Buhler Twins You can have social anxiety but still be an extrovert but it would be the reason that holds u back from it. I’ve heard people getting treated with it and they were extroverts
Aïcha Salvatore me too , its like my personality changes depending on the type of person I’m around , I’m starting to think we do that bc we feel like no one likes us or wants to be friends with us so we try to change our personality similar to theirs to get them to like us , if that even makes any sense 🙄 idk how to explain shit without sounding stupid which is why I never say anything in the first place .
I hate forced conversations. Small talk..it drives me nuts, makes me super anxious 😬
I know right!? Small talk is the worst, please let's talk about something important
Same but based don your profile picture I don’t see why anyone would stop talking to you. You’re beautiful 😍
Ugh, completely agree!
@@Tiawia yes
I run cross country and my coach does this thing on Fridays where she pairs us up with random other kids and we have to walk the 3 mile course and make small talk. It’s literally a nightmare😂
Does anyone else feel like everyone is just staring at you and no matter what you do they still stare at you at public places?
Yes 100% i rarely even go out anywhere now
I'm legit a hermit now because of this.
YESS
use a hoodie or get a glasses
argh i feel you :(
i can't even walk normally without thinking everyone is staring at me and trying to judge me. 🤦🏻♀️ i hate it.
Whenever I walk around I feel like everyone is staring at me and I have to look at the floor or using my phone I can’t even make eye contact 😖
Accurate
Honestly i can relate to this so much i feel like everyone is looking at me and judging me
same
Best method for lowering anxiety and curing SAD: www.MootSpeak. xyz
Same here. Sometimes I know that people aren't looking at me, but my mind decides to make me anxious and tell me that everybody is
I hate that part when you go to a new class an teacher says every body come in front of others and introduce yourself I really really hate that moment
alex minigun i literally skip the first day of classes solely for that reason
*sips tea* get a mechanical pencil thats what i did 😂
i couldn’t even say my name in my seat when the teacher asked. i don’t wanna do this anymore. life seems pointless :/
everybody hates that tho, not only people with social anxiety
*sips tea* samee
Im completely known for my anxiety “oh its quiet girl” “you talk like asmr” “wait you can talk” “why do you not talk” ive heard it all
Do you want to talk to each other over RUclips about this? I'm going through the exact same thing as you, and it caused my grades to go down. I don't want to talk to my mom about it, she'll get worried and it'll make me more anxious. I also don't have a lot of friends at school, and my teachers pretend to care about what their students go through, but it's obvious they don't. If you don't mind, I'd like to discuss my feelings with someone random over the internet, and hopefully we can help each other. ❤️
Same honestly.
@@aaAa-bp1yd which grade are you in?
( If you don't mind me asking )
ZoE ZOe No no, that's fine! I'm a fifteen year old girl who is in the tenth grade. I said eleventh before on accident, but I'm actually in tenth grade.
JaxCatisawesome! Of course! We can talk about whatever you want to talk about. There's tons of things which we each can try to tell each other about, since of course... the guidance counsellor doesn't do much help... but hopefully this will!
what i really hate is when you feel like people are staring at you and you suddenly forget how to walk
omg yes or like i’ll be at the gym on a treadmill and then remember that there are other people around and somehow physically canNot run lmao
eeviy bee I have that standard. I gotta go through the cafetaria when I arrive at school and work is same as well. And I always look at the windows to see if I’m walking normally and usually try to ‘walk normally ‘ till I have passed it.
Lmao so true but so funny
I have this worry that if I look up, i may trip and get extremely embarrassed! At the same time, I keep walking faster because normal walking would mean encountering more people.
Yes
It sucks when you’re dealing with social anxiety and have to do a presentation in class 😫
I usually can't breathe and my voice gets shaky
Citlali Banda ikr it’s the worst
Pixel same :c
I hate presentations tbh, I remember I had to do one for speech class and I couldn’t even speak. It was so embarrassing and terrifying. 🤦🏻♀️
My legs and hands always trembling and my classmates saw it....hm
My biggest fear in a group is being told why are you so quiet? In front of everyone. I have a huge trauma with that. It kills me.
Same my crush just asked me that
Just say why are you too loud
I remember those moments especially if ur a guy
@@amymor7
lmaoo
Everytime I talk in a group with people I don't known my ears get red 😂
I’m so comfortable around my family but when it comes to anyone else i feel so awkward and I can’t talk to anyone without getting anxious and without constantly thinking “am I being interesting enough” like ugh idk
moon baby i get what u mean
Love Music ❤️
Best method for lowering anxiety and curing SAD: www.MootSpeak. xyz
Yeah, you are extremely different from most people there. You need to hear it. Most people are a little shy around new people, but nothing like this. If you ask them, because they have no idea what it's like to be you, they will start to talk about how incredibly awkward they feel as well. But this is pure bullshit, when compared to the anxiety that you feel. They have no idea what it's like to experience the real terror of a panic attack. They just have no standard of comparison. They can only compare one moment in their life to another, and they lack the depth of empathy and introspection to realize that their awkward feelings are truly negligible by comparison to the feelings of someone like you who is actually crippled by them.
Once you recognize that you'll realize that there is something fundamentally wrong with you. You need to know it. It's not that it can't be fixed. It will be hard to fix and will take a lot of effort on your part, but it's not impossible. But if you don't acknowledge it for what it is then you really have no chance.
They are living in a different world than you, one in which they are generally free to do as they please as long as they don't disturb the peace. You are constantly scanning for what you are and are not allowed to do, and you create false barriers and rules for yourself about what you specifically are and are not allowed to do. Like I said, it's going to take a long time for you to figure out the unique destructive thinking patterns you've built up and try to change them. It's really hard to change habits, especially ones like these that you don't even recognize exist.
Jacob I’m really shocked because what you said totally described my struggle with social anxiety. I got therapy and I started seeing major improvements. I could talk in class, I made new friends. Whoever reads this I just want you to know that rn in that bubble, it feels like your going to be this way for the rest of your life. Your not. It’s going to be very very hard and you need to try your whole absolute best to try to beat this. The thing that they don’t tell you is that YOU really decide to get over your anxiety. No one is going to do it for you. It seems harsh but I was always “waiting” for a cure. But that waiting is the problem. You need to tell your parents, go to therapy, figure out the negative thought that go through your head and force yourself to think positively. It’s not gonna happen in 1 day. You’ve built habits over the years that make it so you need to build them down again over a period of time. Focus on trying to made deeper connections with your parents, your siblings. Most importantly, Get. A. Freaking. Therapist. I love you and sympathize with you and I will send my strength to you. You can do this.
I hate having social anxiety. I can’t even eat in front of people without overthinking about it and getting anxious
Kae sameee
same same😔😭
I have terrible social anxiety, yet somehow I was able to eat by myself in high school and I’d sit with strangers to blend in, and not seem like a loner
I relate :( sadly
Hey I totally get this
I was like this as a child
My school years sucked coz of this
Now that I'm 18 I have come to understand that people aren't exactly looking at me all the time.. However the anxiety is still lingering :/
My teachers and friends say “you really need to start talking” omg I would if I could
They dont have anxiety ofc they judge
u dont sub u gæ I’m oposite I can’t shut up. Bc I ramble when I’m stressed. It’s also bc my anxiety builds up otherwise and I will do weird shit when that happens.
u dont sub u gæ talking has kinda become my shield. It helps me form a fake image . It’s easier to manipulate what ppl think of you that way but it usually escaletes.
yes, same with parents though
Then you start talking and nobody cares...
I feel like I have waisted away my youth because of my anxiety. All the things that I have missed out on, the missed opportunities and people ...
Me too. I didn’t get to finish high school from how bad my anxiety got. And now I’m not going to college because of this too. I can’t even hold down a job. I hate this
I missed out on a potential relationship because of anxiety
@@Greg12839 I've missed out on soo much it's not funny, it's actually quite tragic, all because of my mental health
ML 19 yh i still think of her but i think she thinks i never cared or liked her but i was truly just too nervous to speak or even make eye contact
How old are you?
I am 18 and honestly I am trying to change so bad
I feel alone, who else feels alone? I hope I’m not like this forever
Nobody even liked your comment :(
Ivan Vargas Jesus loves you so man man Believe in him you are never alone he is with you man God bless you.
You aint alone my freind
hey try your best you arent going to be alone forever i know its hard to open up/ feel in place, but I promise, you got this. ❤️
I agree with Eric Giordano man u aren't alone. Jesus loves u and he's always there for u, if u will just notice that. And hey, I'm here, we're here💜
Social phobia is literally ruining my life... I don’t know what to do
try to see a doctor if you want some help
same
Same :)
I'm homeschooled so it's pretty good, but it's stopping me from going to public school. Inspirational quotes, wearing clothes that make me feel confident, music, and positive thinking help me.
I haven't told my Mom about it yet, but my brother knows bc he has it too, but he goes to public school and I don't think he has it as badly.
Facing it helps. Do the things you're afraid of. Take deep breathes and be yourself. Let's get through it together :)
@@msMuffet. same
I understand perfectly because it ruined mine. I haven’t had a life in like 5 years now and lost majority of my friends. I only have like one friend to hang out with now and it sucks because she goes to college and I have no one else to hang out with. I’m at home isolated majority of the time and it’s hell. I don’t wish this on anyone. I really hope you have supportive people in your life to help you out. Barely anyone gives a shit about me and that’s why I’m like this now
i came in the comment section to find people to relate to...
Same
Same
Same
likewise
Too
When someone is mean and rude to you means that they don't know how to manage their emotions, the problem isn't you, don't take it personally and don't let their negativity affect you ♡
Very well said! Thank you
YES! This is so true!
@@ashley__c ♡
@@gymtwins4949 ♡ :)
very very true!!
The worst is when someone you're not friends with asks why you're so quiet it gets on my nerves and makes me feel uncomfortable
Hello the greatest results that ive had was with the Seans Shy Program (i found it on google) - definately the most useful idea that I have ever tried.
Yes! I hate when that happens so much
Yeah I dont know how to respond when they ask me that
WHEN I'M WALKING I'M PRETENDING THAT I'M TEXTING WITH SOMEONE 😞
Exactly! The worst place is when ur walking down a hallway 😩
@@funniestglike3506 YEAHH😭😭😭 TOO CONSCIOUS AND WANT TO LOWER THE BRIGHTNESS BECAUSE UR THINKING THAT SOMEONE IS JUDGING OR WATCHING U😭😭😭
위드nim I KNOW RIGHT 😭😭🤦🏾♀️
@@mikeyooz HAHAHAHAHA
That’s literally me at the store 😩😩
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been socially awkward. A loner. An outcast. The shy kid nobody wants to talk to. And even at 20 years old, I still have a hard time making eye contact and talking to people. But it really does make me feel better knowing that I’m not alone in this struggle. It makes me feel better knowing that other people are going through what I’m going through. It’s tough a lot of the time, but I keep pushing on. Thank you for this video.
Me rn at my 2nd semester
Where all struggling together bro life is a fight and we’re all in separate shoes but we gotta keep on truckin. I’m trying to get better everyday in public I like to have that idgaf attitude you know . Cause we’re all gonna die anyway who cares you know . I wish I was this motivated more frequently 😂😂
And here I am 13 years old wanting to make some friends and get over this.
Its like no one understands what we go through. The way we want friends, but no one gives us a chance because we're the quiet kids, the shy ones.
I have milion panic attack , my heart wont stop beat and cant stand
I feel like dying each time someone approaches me to begin a conversation.
This anxiety is ruining my life. I don't engage in anything to minimize social interaction. I would've communicate in writing only, if I have the choice.
M Alota same here
M Alota me too
I feel like my anxiety is getting worse and now I can't even talk to my own parents without being awkward.
same
@@teespino345 same
I feel like since I’m so scared to talk or make any friends I’m just wasting all my highschool years and I feel like I’m growing up too fast and I can’t catch up with everyone who’s so good at talking and making friends. Im just afraid I’ll always be stuck like this
I feel you I have this problem too, turning 18 soon like omg. 😣
my in thing same the from suffered I it, about worry Don't
Same😭
im a senior and in all my highschool years i havent made any good friends, just some acquaintances here n there. my high school experience was NOT at all like they say
It’s really up to us whether we stay stuck or not, whether we choose to reach out, and care... but it’s like, a major step to take and takes one to be so brave. I relate to feeling afraid to be stuck. I’ve had that for a long time.
i don’t understand how all my friends are so good at talking and i’m just there..
Same :( it’s so hard to watch
Yes.. All my "friends" are so good and I'm like: Why I can't socialize well??
@@esmeralda1446 so trueee......
whenever i go outside, and when i return home, i bust out crying. the social anxiety is killing me...
That’s why I don’t tell people stuff anymore because they use it against you . 🤦🏽♀️ Thank you for making this video.
Browngirl
I know people are really mean ! It’s time to stop the stigma
Cheers. I need to learn 🤦🏼♀️ it’s like you need to know the amount to tell, and pick the ones you trust.
The REASON to tell people- I was told this summer- is so people can WALK WITH YOU through what you’re TELLING THEM ABOUT.
So literally, it might be better to think telling someone something personal as more of an invite for them to enter into your life and walk with you through this specific thing.
I found this to be a really, really freeing thought. And it builds friendships and makes people feel free to do the same with you’d
Definitely
Browngirl same honestly
Yes. Thanks to a bitch I called friend and who used my weaknesses to bully me I have serious trust issues and don’t ever want to try make any friends anymore. And that’s why I don’t talk about myself much with colleagues or people I know and sometimes hang out with
As a socially anxious person I couldn’t imagine doing a RUclips channel.
EDIT - My comment seems to have created some confusion so I wanted to clarify.
By saying this I wasn't judging her or implying that she doesn't have "real" anxiety. My thought when I watched the video was simply "I couldn't imagine doing a RUclips channel" so I typed that. I wish all of you the best. :-)
Jason
Frischeparadies I normally don’t reply to comments but saying this isn’t cool, especially when the video is literally talking about having anxiety of being judged. People experience social anxiety in different ways and at different levels, just because she’s doing something other socially anxious people can’t doesn’t automatically mean she’s talking bullshit.
Please think about the impact a comment can have before posting it online
RUclips you're talking to a camera it's not as bad as talking to ppl in person, that's my view of it as having social anxiety its mostly face to face that fucks me up
I suffer from very bad social anxiety and failed almost all my classes because I couldn't even raise my hand in class due to the panic attacks I would get. However, I'm an actress and I love acting on stage and in front of a camera. Everyone experiences an illness differently.
Frischeparadies what.. i trust my family but they don’t fully understand what i’m going through. seeing that there’s somebody who gets me and faces the same fears and anxieties i do makes me feel better. also she stated that her social anxiety has lessened and she is visiting a therapist now. the whole point of this video is her telling her story and giving tips to HELP people.
@Frischeparadies you sound dumb ASS FUCK. There's celebrities who have anxiety but still follow through because they love their job.
The word we all hate when the teacher says.....
*Partner up with someone*
BLACKPINK exactly I hate school so much that I sometimes hope something bad happens and we don’t have to do it
̇ ͜ʟ ̇ 👀
̇ ͜ʟ ̇ just don't shoot up a school plz
this gave me fight or flight
BLACKPINK IKRRR but tbh i did online school and it made my social anxiety even worse bc i had less practice with ppl and i feel like i can’t even interact normally with my own friends now sooo i’m going back to public school lmao
10 reasons why social anxiety causes depression.
10. Wanting to find a significant other, and never finding him/her
Anxiety undermines our human relationships, and prevents them from being as successful as they could be.
9. Avoiding situations even when we want to hang out and be friendly
"I can’t go because I’ll be too uncomfortable and I’ll feel inhibited and self-conscious. It’s easier for me to just stay at home.”
8. Not feeling like we are part of a group or family
We all want to feel like we belong, especially with other people who share the same interests in life, but anxious feelings block this from happening.
7. Lack of meaningful friendships
People with social anxiety want to have many friends and acquaintances they can spend time with and relax around, but the anxiety prevents this from happening.
6. Not being able to pursue our desired career
“I’d like to take that promotion, but then I’d have to manage people and tell them what to do. I can’t do that!”
5. Inability to participate in professional or informal activities
Those of us with social anxiety feel a great deal of fear when we must attend informal or professional events with other people. We feel as if we will do something wrong and make a fool of ourselves.
4. Not seeing light at the end of the tunnel
“I’ll never get any better - I’ll be stuck with anxiety forever."
3. Beating ourselves up
We get down on ourselves and focus on our perceived shortcomings. We often feel as if we're not as good or capable as other people. "Everyone else is enjoying life and having a good time. Why can't I?"
2. Comparing ourselves to others
We feel other people are farther along in life than we are. “Everyone has fun and interesting friends they can hang out with - except me."
1. Feeling like we can’t do things
The anxiety we feel makes us feel restricted from participating in everyday activities. “I can’t go to the party because I’ll feel too out of place and uncomfortable."
This is so accurate it hurts 😔
Damn :/
Scarface92511 ahhhh this made me want to cry
I been suffering social anxiety and depression for a while now. This hold true in my case.
You literally just summarized my whole life
It just sucks that people who are shy or quiet are called differnt and weird not everyone needs to be an extrovert. Some people choose the people that they want to surround themselves with and keep a small cirlcle you know. Dealing with anxiety since i was 8 and now im 29 and it comes and goes but thankfully its under control right now. You just never know when itll peak and living like that is awful . The thing that helps is spirituality and just working on self love.
I'd much rather be friends with a shy person than someone who thinks there better than everyone else
@@keiron.4612 I totally agree! Shy over the ones who think they are always right because they always have opinions. The ones that act like they are God.I rather focus on me than anybody's else's life.
I've been around people like that and it's always guys in my experience especially if there's girls around don't like guys like that someone who wants to be the centre of attention are no better than anyone else I find quiet people really adorable actually
I have anxiety and my mom always says "Stop, people are going to think you're weird." and it just makes it worst.
That makes me so angry people are gonna think your weird it's an illness omg we don't choose it
I’m so happy you made this video. I have EXTREME social anxiety, and it’s crippling.
Try pushing yourself a little bit each and every day. All the small successes eventually add up to a HUGE one! You got this xx
I give out love to you and definitely do some of the things Renee said.
I also suffer from crippling social anxiety. To the point I've been off work 3 yrs. I don't go anywhere alone. I can barley make my therapy meetings. You not alone
@@Blissful16 im sorry! I hope it gets better for you soon!
flowerchild . Since ur anxiety prevents u from working how do u make a living? I’m just curious. Thanks
I have social anxiety too and it really sucks. Everywhere I go I feel like everyone is staring at me and judging me :(
When you don’t have social anxiety( like when you’re alone or with people you feel comfy with) do you find yourself judging/making fun of or talking bad about other people? If you do realize you do that and stop, it will help your social anxiety. It worked for me. I’m not saying it completely cured me but when I go back on social media I find myself judging others like omg if I was in that situation I wouldn’t do that or why would this person comment that they’re so wrong ect. That’s judging because we’re all humans and we’re all equal, no one is better than the other and none of us are perfect. When you realize that and use it, it will help. Also Jesus is the main help accepting his love for me and following him changed everything for me I probably wouldn’t be alive right now.
High School just makes social anxiety way worse.
Are there any black women around 20 - 30 that has social anxiety . I feel so alone because in the black community so many aren’t scared to be social I never see anyone at my job that’s so closed off as me . That’s something that makes me a little more anxious .
Hey girl I’m the same way I’m Hispanic and we don’t believe in anxiety even tho I have it we don’t talk about it either so don’t feel left out depression and anxiety is something in our community is not talk about at all so your now alone in the same way .
Yes I’m Black and went through a lot of social anxiety it consumed me. I am over that period now. I still get anxious but I will not let it stop me living my life! Message me if you wanna talk about it! I feel people think black women are all loud and confident but everyone is different!
bellefairydust I’m getting a lot better too . Glad you’re doing better ❤️
LACreole ah that’s good to hear!
I have social anxiety. I'm 23. You're not alone.
Am I the only guy here ? Hello ladys :) Males suffering the same way :(
JayJay 92 nah im here bro
I’m here bruh
I'm here along with depression aswell...
You're not the only one my dude
Heyy:) glad to know we suffer from the same
I lost all my good friends Bc of social anxiety now I walk through the halls staring at all the other kids laughing with their friends thinking how that use to be me and how I would do anything to get that real enjoyment back
I relate. I remember last year there were so many people that would wave and greet me in the hallways, I constantly had friends to talk with during class. But this year my anxiety peaked and I distanced myself away from everyone. I believe they think i don't like them bc of it, and I wish I could explain myself. But I know I won't.
Moonlight Same I use to be really extroverted and outgoing in middle school but once I hit highschool I just completely shut down
Shrek2 OnDVD OMFG this is me as the years passed by in high school all my friends just faded away and I was lonely
Shrek2 OnDVD same
Synthia I’m the same exact way:/
Why does no one talk to me in school but when a new person comes they are their best friends
its exactly what's happened to me , there was this new girl came to our school , in our class and she became my friend,, everybody talked to her , they dont even talk to me , just talked to her , when we are together, boys only talk to her , and not me , maybe I am not cool or pretty ....
zenab amin Girl stop you are pretty don’t worry about them because when you grow up you will be way better than everyone and everyone will want to be your friend :)
@@lanalvr2413 thank u so much , do u have instagram , can u give me ur instagram , i want to talk to u
zenab amin sure! It’s fwrachell
@@lanalvr2413hey there are a lot of fwrachell , which one is urs
I do hide my mental health because when you talk about them nobody wants to know I have social anxiety when I'm around certain people I'm not always comfortable
I get that. Recently though, I've come to the conclusion that I don't really need validation from others. Me speaking up helps someone who's struggling with the same things feel less alone.
For me it's the people you'd think would show some feelings towards you like family vthey never do your so right you helped me because everything you said I related to 💗
I definitely know that it's not easy but, I have found people to talk to even with my bad social anxiety, and it truly helps. It can be hard to find those certain people though, I understand that.
Or claim that you're just making an excuse with some "made up" disability just because you want to "get out of being with them" or "(fill in blank)"!
David Parkinson i talk to my mom about it and she makes it even worse , she would say i’m weird or i made her mad
Breathing techniques, stepping outside in fresh air, dog cuddles get me through my anxiety 💛
dog cuddles always help!
dog cuddles are the BEST! and so is nature
Okay I couldn't agree more with the dog cuddles! My dog can always put a smile on my face no matter what I'm facing! Also going for walks and listening to positive/self help podcasts really helps me! I have a RUclips channel with my twin sister and we post some anxiety/mental health related videos and we're trying to promote our channel to people who might potentially relate/find that kind of content interesting! I would love if you would check us out! :)
I love dog cuddles! It seems you have it downpacked with is great. Keep the fight!
Dog cuddle help
Bullshit
I’m so shy I feel like I’ll never be in a relationship or that I won’t be entertaining enough to someone or pretty enough. So I have anxiety about never getting a boyfriend. Is this just me? Is it true? Like if u relate
Yes im 20 and had never had anyone. I cant be myself at all
Lavender Fae somehow we’ll get through this I suppose there will have to be an answer
Bella T in my case I have more anxiety about being weak in front of ppl. Love is weakness it’s opening yourself up entirely and allowing excess. Giving that person access to where they can hurt you most. And they will hurt you even if they love you. I once accepted a person who said he liked me but the idea of a relationship made me avoid him completely till he broke up with me. The idea of getting out of my comfort zone and being weak is so scary to me. This part of my anxiety goes as far as not being able to relax among ppl at all. I can’t even be in my laptop or phone. We once had do do a game I which we had to follow commandos and I couldn’t do that, I couldn’t lie on my tummy or back in public. I just couldn’t physically.
Girl I’m 21 and haven’t had a boyfriend either and feel like I’m not pretty enough to have one. Social anxiety only makes it worse cause I can’t even make eye contact with guys without having a panic attack 😂😭. But for real, this shit is really depressing to me and I really pray to god that I won’t be alone forever
Lavender Fae I thought I was the only one in her 20’s who still is a dating virgin :/ I honestly fear I’ll waste my 20’s being alone. I really want to experience love and a relationship and sex and all that stuff while I’m still young.
this comment section is very reassuring that you're not the only one dealing with these issues.
Fr
i blush with everyone it got so bad this year for me😔
If ur a guy it worst I had that problem too when I was in elementary thru out high school
im glad you dont go throught that no more.
@@catygzz19 thx
Girl same like I just think when I'm doing something normally someone is judging me. I hate getting called out or talking about boyfriends and doing presentations. I'm light complected and it suck the most
Kyla Alizabeth people just think Im mean because i dont talk to them. Which is not even the reason I just avoid talking because of this phobia. 😩
sometimes when I force myself to be talkative, I get anxiety attacks because I look at others who is/are listening in the conversations and I start thinking how stupid I am for trying to talk and that they're making fun of my accent, the way i talk, my voice and all that. I go home feeling like an idiot and thinking about all the things that I shouldn't have said and then everytime my bf would look at me and smile and say that he is proud of me for talking and that I looked really cute when I try and I forget about the things Im worrying about. Sometimes we just need someone who would understand us and tell us that it's going to be okay.
I,,,, I wish I have someone like that to help me O_o
“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10
???
Thank you🙏🙏
I love this. thank you for the reminder.
I so needed this reminder, thank you. God bless ☺️
❤️
It's so hard to live with this problem...
I can't even raise my hands in school even if I am almost sure the answer is right. And I can't ask someone when I don't understand something because I am afraid of my teachers and afraid of being judged. That's why my marks have gotten really bad and I am afraid I won't get better and fail. I also can't talk to people and that's why they often think I am boring or don't want to do anything with them. I think it is a little bit because of my friends since they always picked on me which made me feel depressed and I often thought about what they said afterwards although I knew it was just fun... I always think a lot about what people think about me and I don't know what to do about it because I am afraid that I will get depression from that and that I will just be in my room the next few years cause I am afraid to go outside. Also when I am in public I don't even know how to stand so that I don't look weird and I don't know what to say when I am with my friends because I don't want to seem weird or boring but that is the case most of the time..
You know what all that happened to me. And same to me i never raised my hand actually in school except less than 20 i say during all those years
All of those things are so relatable - there are often people who i think are so cool and really wanna be friends with but during conversation with them im so nervous i cant think of anything to say and then i just come across as boring :(
Even when I make myself raise my hand and say the correct answer, I keep thinking about the way I said that sentence and how it must've been super awkward and that everyone is judging me silently
i feel you
@Majorette Dance Club thanks that's good advice :)
I thought that I was the only one like this, I am always super nervous an awkward when talking to people and even sometimes my friends I am always scared to say some things and do things because I think that I will be judged and that is why I will never act like myself besides with my family.
Baller Nation me too only with my family I am myself I wish people were more open to different types of people but of course not
Same 😭
Everytime i have a presentation in class even if its like 2 weeks away i will always think about it
Alina same, I have one in like 3 weeks and I’m already thinking about it. It’s the worst feeling in the world having to stand in front of everyone, shaking and panicking until it’s over.
Beth Cherry I know how you feel but once it’s over just know that nobody is thinking about if you messed up or anything, they are probably thinking about their presentation, not yours. You got it
my teacher:
“Am I really that scary”
Me:
“oh yeh hold up Imma walk out the room come back in without social Anxiety it’s Gucci”
Lmaoo a teacher also once asked me jokingly if I am scared of him because I wasnt able to say much and couldnt look him in the eyes for more than 0.001 seconds even though I tried ..
everyone here is talking about their anxiety, and im just stitting here thinking she's so pretty
Aha same that was my first thought
Strange to me that when you experience a new start you aren't as anxious. Meeting new people and starting in a new environment sends my anxiety through the roof and that makes sense according to what social anxiety is. It doesn't just suddenly leave you when you start a 'new life' it's always there.
💔😭 i feel this every single time
yes i completely agree
everyone’s anxiety is different:)
Aimee Gardner I once changed schools and I made no friends at all. It went as far as my teacher looking for friends for me. But I liked this way better bc even though it sucked having friends proved to be a different kind of stressful I kinds enjoyed some moments.
Aimee Gardner I mean the eating lunch on the toilet sucked same as making groups and that one time I leaked but apart from that I kinda enjoyed it.
Today in my English class we had to stand at the front of the class and talk, and I promised myself that I’ll talk because it was worth a lot of points.
And when i got at the front I couldn’t get anything out
I couldn’t talk I couldn’t say what was wrong with me.
I couldn’t look at my classmates eyes, I couldn’t tell the teacher to excuse me, I couldn’t walk away. I was just totally stuck and when they teacher asked what was wrong with me I couldn’t answer him.
But I started sweating, and my heart beat went up.
My thoughts: “they are laughing at you”, “they think you’re stupid”, “TALK”, Talk or fail”.
I wanted to cry but i was scared and I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
My teacher told me to write down what was wrong but I didn’t know what was wrong with me. :(
Hi Emma. I would just like to say that you are incredibly brave for putting up with that. My teacher once told me that people are never going to focus on other people, because they're always focusing on themselves. People who are extroverted will never judge you, because they have put themselves out into the world numerous amounts of times. To them, it would only make sense if everyone else did the same. Since you were in a scenario where you couldn't say anything, you should not blame yourself at all for being anxious. Nobody chooses to be that way. I hope you know that there are many people in the world who love you, regardless of whether they have seen you or not, and I hope you know that sometimes, it can be very hard to find yourself in a better position than the one you're currently in. Be patient, and stay calm. ❤️
aa Aa thank you soo much❤️
Kaily Emma No problem :)
I’m sitting here reading these comments and I’m starting to break down into tears. It breaks my heart that we’ve all had to go through this. Social anxiety has literally ruined my life in this past year.
😥 ikr
I find that my social anxiety is usually triggered by my own judgement. I've grown up in such a critical environment that I've pre-conceived boxes in my head and they seem immutable. When in reality, I'm the first to tell my friends and family that we can all be whoever and whatever we decide.
Recently, I've moved in an area that is very important to me and reminds me a lot of my childhood. And as I was walking, there were so many sychronicities, it blew my mind. It got me so excited I overwhelmed myself and started feeling anxiety creeping in. The feeling is like this: it feels like my body is filling up with a thick boiling liquid, from my feet to my head. My vision gets blurry, tears come up and my legs start shaking. I know how to make it go away relatively quickly, but it usually takes me to walk away from the situation or get silent and numb. If I'm with people, I just nodd and smile when they look at me, if I'm in a crowd I step away. What's so frustrating is that usually this particular situation is exactly where I want to be. It's not the fear of not belonging, it's the fear of my own excitment. I'm afraid it might be too much, I might be too much, as I've always been told I was as a child.
I feel I'm progressing. Yet sometimes I take five steps back. When I come back to reality, it's like I have to start all over again. It's exhausting and frustrating.
BUT this life thing is so AWESOME, like leaves, skies, architecture, the fact that there are some brillant minds, the fact there's a universe... I mean, I wouldn't be anywhere else, in any other shape. I love being human and I love life.
omg literally I have so much of the same things. The one thing I didn't mention in the video is a bit private but I was also told about how I have a box and how I was ridiculed when I was younger when I went outside of this (unattainable) box. I also moved back home and I feel worse, I wonder if its because that's when my anxiety kinda formed. so interesting thanks for sharing!
@@ReneeAmberg me too! My dream as a teenager was to live my home, and as soon as I graduated, I moved across the country. I did so much of healing being away, understood and clarified so much, talking with my parents on the phone and just sharing about lots of things. It put the past into perspective. It was almost like re-living my life in a way.
Four years later, I came back home, feeling ready to confront this. And I'm so proud of how I did! I felt suffocated at first, tumbled into bad habits but because of the practice I put in place being away, I was able to notice the patterns and phewww take deep breaths.
Now I literally feel my anxiety as a thing that's not me. We're two different entities. However, any sudden move and it creeps right back in, and it takes awhile to emerge from it. It totally feels like being in the ocean and a wave pulls you in, I swim and wait and then I breathe again. But for a quick moment (that can feel like eternity) I kind of black out.
Do you visualize your anxiety too? Where do you see it going, like how do you imagine the course of your experience with anxiety go in the future?
Caroline, you seem like one of the rare few who can have a real meaningful conversation. Do you mind if i ask you questions regarding social anxiety?
i feel exactly the same
i have symptoms but i'm too scared to talk to my parents about getting diagnosed because they'll just tell me social media is getting to my head :(
It seems like there are two sides of the coin when it comes to social media and social anxiety. On the one hand, people with SAD may end up isolating themselves even further through excessive social media use in order to meet their social needs. On the other hand, social media allows sufferers to connect with other who are going through the same, which can be a healing experience in itself.
yoongisandr0id MY mother is a god damn psycholoog and she told me to stop acting autistic. My parents say things like I’m acting, being weird, dramatic or they tell me to get over shit. And I really believed I was just weird for a long time, just shy.
Same my mum wouldn’t understand
@@mayallyourbaconburn7133 hey you if need somebody to talk to about that i can help, fellow person with social anxiety but my parents cant help and they just tell me to get over it and push the wall but i can..t?
Anyone that wants to talk about SAD
My insta is:SociallyG0ne and i have 0 0 0 for the fact i don't want people following who don't understand.
FoxienTalks yeah same my parents keep saying I just have to get over myself that it’s easy to solve. They blame me bc I avoid confrontation and refuse their help. But at this point I don’t even wanna mention anything bc they just sit me down and have a talk. I’m 19 now and I’ve had trouble as long as I can remember but I always thought it was normal and I was just making problems that weren’t there and till now I believed that bc my parents told me this much. In stress situations I completely shut down and avoid any responsibility I might have. And even now I wonder if I’m actually just lazy. But at some point I figured it couldn’t be normal. But I don’t dare to get myself tested both bc of my parents and bc I don’t want to face that I have a problem fully. I don’t care that getting scolded by teachers almost makes me cry, I don’t care that my legs shake if I get attention I don’t control myself, . I don’t care that social stress makes me incredibly immobile. I don’t care that i can’t make calls to make a doctors appointment, can’t ring the bell of a house, don’t celebrate my birthday etc. What I do care about that simply feeling as if I’m being judged or being watched or graded makes me panic to the point of forgetting where I even am. But I’m gonna live like this and I don’t think I’m ever gonna get tested ( bc I can’t call or email without stress, and confronting this shit is even more stressful) I do hate how it affects my personal relations like I don’t even feel at ease with my parents.
Do u have a story u might wanna share ranting to u just now kinda helped me and I would like to return the favour...
My anxiety is so bad that I sweat terribly whenever Im around people.
Samantha as soon as people start conversations with me and everyone starts looking I start sweating
Samantha I start rambling and get cold hands and feet. And a slight stutter.
Same and my face turns red 😑
*Am I the only one guy here who's having a social anxiety.? :(*
I do as well, to the point where I cant go out to the mall with my friends for fear of being humiliated or judged. There are many other examples but I wont go into much detail. You arent suffering alone!
You are not alone dude
Sometimes it feels like I'm the only person in the world who gets scared to talk to people, especially since practically everyone I've met talks alot
My anxiety has been awful recently, having just gone back to college. Thank you for this, Renee, it's not something most people would feel comfortable talking about online or even in person, so I really admire you
I'm starting my freshman year next week. Any tips on how to settle in? Social anxiety really doesn't help...
@@zestren5830 Try and remember that everyone else also is in a new situation and is open to making friends. Try not to isolate yourself because that can make you feel worse. I know putting yourself out there is hard but I promise it helps
Same. Especially because we have to network (the word itself makes me anxious).
as a kid i was more extroverted and could EASILY go up to strangers and say hi and start a conversation but now i’m the opposite and i actually like myself this way then ‘the talkative stranger who goes up to everyone’
i don’t remember if i was soft-spoken as a child but definitely from grade 4 onwards i’m extremely soft-spoken and introverted and paranoid and i started getting social anxiety last year and it just washed over me this year
to be honest, i don’t mind my personality but i want to be able to feel comfortable in social situations without being the ,ost awkward, anxious, paranoid person ever because i ALWAYS worry about what people think of me.
the best thing i did this year was the biggest thing i’d ever done everrr, making friends. especially with the social anxiety, it was NOTTTTT EASY AT ALL. i had so much dont built up in my mind that i was struggling to see if they were actually my friends, but when i put all the puzzle pieces together i realised they were my friends, i asked myself questions like ‘do they talk to you’ ‘do they sit next to you in class’ so on.
it’s also very hard to concentrate in class because i’m a maladaptive daydreamer, always stuck in my imagination. i also had a 5 month depressive episode this year and last year and this year were the crappiest, most horrible years of my life so far (making friends was 1 of the positives though 😁)
hope this helps xx
Saaaammee I mean I’ve always been a little shy as a kid but i wasn’t like how I am now. Now I’m always worried about what others think and I’m such a people pleaser. I can’t say no to people. It’s just making it worse because people call me such a suck up
I used to think dealing with social anxiety at school was bad, now that I work full time I can tell you that it is 10x worse dealing with social anxiety when you have a job...
I just opened up this year about my Social Anxiety, Generalized Anxiety, and Agoraphobia. Such a relief to stop being in denial, hiding and being ashamed. After being diagnosed this year; I've started working towards my mental health. It definitely started as extreme shyness during my childhood, at least, I believe it was extreme shyness.
You’re so strong talking about this. I suffer from social anxiety too, I Guess It’s more common than we think . I love your channel. You’re an amazing person 💕 Kisses from Italy 🥰😘😘😘
My anxiety is bad that I have to wear sunglasses to hide from people making eye contact scares me it’s crazy when I’m in a busy place the anxiety gets crazy
Facts
I even feel uncomfortable wearing sunglasses because I think people will judge me even because of that
I once told someone who had asked me why I don't talk a lot that I'm just bad at interacting with people. They asked if I had Social Anxiety, and I said yes. And, I was at a new school, so this made me even more nervous so I tried to push myself to interact with people that would talk to me so that I wouldn't be completely alone. So, I hung out with their friend group. I didn't talk at all, and if someone spoke to me I would just respond with a short answer not knowing what to say. But, every time I didn't talk very much this guy was like "You should talk to us. We are nice people." I said, "I know." When I wanted to say, "If it was that easy I would have been talking to you guys." I texted my friends from my old school everyday, I met them before I had social anxiety and they never judged me. So, when he asked me what I did over break I responded, "Text my old friends." He said, "If you can text your friends, why can't you talk to us?" I felt like he didn't understand what social anxiety is. I know he didn't have it, and it's hard to get why I act like this, but he just made these remarks that he had no idea how I felt about. If you don't have Social Anxiety, you'll never understand how we see things. Please, try to accept people with Social Anxiety, and maybe help them.
i am a dropout of uni and I really wanna go back next summer just to get a degree but I just can't mentally... how are you doing today and any tips on getting through school?
@@Unknown-ej6np I completely forgot I wrote this comment, I'm surprised I was brave enough to. Well, my Social Anxiety hasn't gotten any better but I'm hoping to start therapy soon and see if that helps. I'm enrolled in online school for my junior year, which I think is a great alternative for people that really struggle in person. I start September 6th, this upcoming Tuesday. I did download some social media, like TikTok and Discord which has helped me open up to people online. On TikTok I can find people that relate to similar issues that I do, and with Discord I can make friends and join servers with people going through the same thing. I recommend to try doing virtual college and see if you can get anywhere from there. Maybe think about therapy, and find people with similar situations online that can help give better advice. Sorry if I couldn't help too much, but you aren't alone ❤️
my college professor who has a PhD in psychology said that i was the “dark energy” in the room for having social anxiety. when he out of anyone should know how sensitive the human mind can be and how any little thing you say can hurt someone immensely. I have worked so hard to be the most positive, and high- spirited person that i can be, despite my depression & insecurities for someone to come and knock all of that down for no absolute reason.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. This person is obviously very insensitive to others (which is ironical, given their field of expertise). I hope this won’t get you down too much and that you have someone to talk to. Never lose hope.
lol he/she was projecting for sure. He proved he was the one with dark negative energy when he said that you, so uncalled for
I get anxiety attacks everytime before going out, I cannot do it at all
same
Swift's nerd I have them after interacting with ppl. When I’m alone again
Yo wtf me too
@@mayallyourbaconburn7133 same
@@mayallyourbaconburn7133 i have it before and then whenever im talking to a person my heart is beating fast and I cannot keep up a convo for the sake of life
All these ppl in the comments i can relate to its crazy but i never see these sorts of ppl in real life, feels like im alone with it out here 😞
That’s how I feel. Everyone like you know “well”, like they have everything under control
I'm so embarrassed to talk about my social anxiety to others. I feel like they're gonna think I'm weak and not worth talking to. You inspired me to share this part of myself and seek professional help! This is not something worth hiding anymore.
ummm... i told my mom i thought i had social anxiety and she said that i didn’t, that i was fine.. 💀
Ggh FHb yoooo my mum said the same thing 💀
my mom told me i gotta learn to turn it off
My mom said:" no you're autistic." Like she's a 100% sure I have autism
I love when people think they know more about other people than the people themselves 😂
I’m so glad you made a video about social anxiety!! ❤️🥰 It’s really hard for me to go out and talk to people, I get so drained when I have to talk to people all day at school and work
You can resolve problems ...
omg i know! i am always so drained after work. too much human interaction..
@@Tiawia it's really difficult! most people don't understand the effort it takes to do it every day on repeat.
@@admirbarucija2018 for real I feel u and then they tell u too grow up it worse for men cause society expect us to be perfect
Ki Sigma I agree completely, a general lack of empathy and understanding makes the problem even worse
When I tell you I related to EVERY SINGLE THING you said in regards to your social anxiety. Whew Chile the COURAGE.😭 I Stan QUEENN
This was a very helpful video❤️ Thank you for sharing this😊
Im shy at school every day :(
Same
me too
same
Me too. Just be brave
Same...
If I knew people like you in person... I'm sure i would get over my anxiety
*if you reading this, I hope you had a great day... (read more💛)*
*And a great week, and a great month, and a great 2019! And If you’re day wasnt going so good remember there are 364 other days so everything will turn out just fine* 💕💖💗*love from a small youtuber* 💓
Small youtuber you have over 2k subscribers😱😱😂😂😂😂😂😂👍👌
Opps 15 k❤❤😂😂😂
thank u so much 😘😘😘😘
I feel anxious even around my family because I feel I’m not being the best brother/son I could be. I try to change my ways but feel like I’m trying so hard that it makes my awkwardness/anxiety worse.
I have axciety around my family too it sucks
I just realized i have social anxiety i've always been a shy girl when i was young and i only talk to the person i know around me sometimes i hate when someone just stares at me but of someone talks to me first i would probably get along well
Same
Um maybe you're just shy? Social anxiety is way more complex than that
This is an important video, and I’m glad you took the time to share your experience with us. I haven’t gotten the chance to fully watch the video yet, but I know it’ll be good. 💗
Thank you for making this video. Since starting university my social anxiety has gotten really bad. Makes me feel less alone to hear others talk about it ❤️❤️❤️
thank you for being so open and vulnerable, these type of bullying experiences are so common yet not talked about because of fear. It's helpful to have something to relate to
I find it really hard to leave the house, it’s just so scary. Everyone is looking at you, and you could see someone you know, or worse, have to talk to someone you don’t know. I also ALWAYS go to the self serve tills in shops, even if one isn’t available I’ll wait.
Holy fk same it feel like tiger chasing u
Same here, I haven’t been able to leave my house for long periods of time for years now :/. Social anxiety ruined my life. I lost most of my friends years ago and haven’t been able to make any new ones because I can’t handle being around people. I’m alone and isolated most of the time and it’s the worst thing ever. My family isn’t supportive at all and i only have one friend but she goes to college. Shit feels pretty hopeless at this point and I get anxiety and depression from how long I spend here in my room
Vee levenstein same it sucks my friends have all left me too. And my family refuses to help me
THANK YOU for being open & honest about your experiences ❤️❤️✨! i've always struggled with anxiety in social situations ever since as a kid too. shedding light around mental health is so significant and needed to make you feel like you are not alone :)
I'm the same way and it is crazy that I had the same thing happen to me. A friend that I thought was my friend, actually kept judging me and was mean. I feel like I'm not good enough or my personality is unlikable, so I'm quiet around new people.
That’s how I feel too! I feel like they wouldn’t be interested in listening to me and I will get judged 😟
Same! Happened to me in middle school w these bunch of girls...still kept in touch with them now n we're in neutral terms. Still had that anxiety tho.
hey you keep smiling yes! I know exactly what you mean! Btw are you bts fan lol
@@danielasolis9084 yes lol
hey you keep smiling me too!!! 😁
Wow thank you so much for this video! The example with the circle of the activating event is really helpful!
Social anxiety sucks endless amounts of horrible thoughts cross your mind...I have to do a presentation for school tomorrow and I’m so scared.
I suffer from social anxiety as well, extremely similar to you. I really recommend reading the book "First We Make The Beast Beautiful". It's crazy relatable.
Thank you for sharing Renee sweetie, you are such a strong and beautiful soul and have done brilliantly❤️❤️❤️✨!
I'm like you I'm not shy in front of my fam but new people I get literally nauseous thinking about meeting new people
I genuinely run from small talk😶
But my humor helps.
I have social anxiety. An on going battle.
What sometimes helps me with my anxiety is to just take a deep breath and try to realize that what you’re feeling is irrational. Everybody else is too focused on themselves to worry about you anyways
Thank you for sharing your story babe, it takes a lot to open up like this!!
bruh someones should make a dating app for peoples with *social anxiety XD
This was so helpful.Thank you so much.You inspire me everyday :)
I love this I’m doing a video this Friday on how to love yourself thank you for this !
Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your story and encouraging others to share their own. It's a super important step in the journey towards better health and less anxiety. 🙏🏼
I can just tell from my social anxiety that you have it just from you speaking about the moment you start speaking about it you speak up in your speaking x
Does anyone here have a heart attack when they have to do a presentation?
Lulu what grade are you in?
Lulu that’s probably why
superbrutime12 what? Lucky! I’m in grade 6 and I have a lot of presentations. As well as speeches...
yes i hate them so i’m like skipping them most of the time ...
i legit cried n my teacher failed me bc he said “if u can talk to freinds to can present” tf
Such a great video, I suffer with fear and anxiety, thank you for sharing, so true xx
I can relate so much to this Thank you for the video ! You're very beautiful and well spoken