I split into a 6-year old when someone confronts me in an angry way or bullies me. This has been especially difficult for me in work environments- particularly if there is a boss or coworkers who have anger problems or appear to dislike me. More often than not I get re-traumatized.
OMG me too! It's embarrassing I actually cry and shake or have an anxiety attack. I know the my bosses or anyone around is shocked 😲 I have have always tried to be a pleaser and just ignore the rudeness or hostilness in a person's voice, although normal people would object wnd stick up for them selves
This just opened my eyes to even more things with my BPD, and thank you so much! I often go from being super compassionate and caring to vicious and lacking in empathy (often after stressful periods).
I have complex ptsd this is something I have been seeing happening to me tbh it scared me when I was made aware. I feel like I'm constantly analyze myself to see which me turns up.
My ex has BPD. She would split between extreme care and disdain for me. The hardest type of split for me to take was when in public and around men that showed her any attention, she would split and ignore me in what seemed like an obvious way and then do anything to maintain the other man's attention. In one instance, she kicked off her shoes and started kicking her legs like a showgirl and shaking her body with a huge smile (no one else was dancing, no music, she was just could not get enough attention). This was around strange men whose interest probably was not platonic. And everyone looked at me like "your GF is acting bizarrely and disrespecting you". Several times, she put herself into dangerous positions and I had to endanger myself to extricate her, all the while everyone else aghast and her oblivious to why I or anyone else would be upset. At times, her split was into this flirty temptress type that seemed was trying to purposefully hurt me (acting like she could care less if I was in the room, but at the same time it was obvious she knew exactly how to hurt me). It was very clear when she would do this due to her total change in body language. She would often start cursing a lot also and talking loudly, like every other word out of her mouth was the f-word. Very difficult to endure from my end. When I left, she blamed me for being too weak to love her in any possible situation she could put me in. That's one thing that BPDs sometimes seem not to understand: another adult does not owe you lifelong, unconditional love. If your behavior hurts them badly enough, then they should leave (and if it were your friend being hurt similarly by a lover, then you'd probably advise said friend to leave that person).
MrShysterme - After reading this post, I have extreme empathy for you, for I too, suffer from BPD. Before I learned of this diagnosis - I was a HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE person! I hurt everyone that I loved - sometimes intentionally to deflect from my own pain and sometimes, unintentionally - meaning this BPD was just an excuse for bad behavior. Now, I treat everyone with respect and dignity - and with the same kind of love that I have for myself. I still have BPD - but after I realized how much it hurt me too - I finally became the person I knew that I could be, not the person whom I "thought" I was. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
@@catherinecookson225 Hi there: I think you're a little bit off on borderline personality disorder and I hope you'll hear me out. 1. Women are not the only people that get BPD and there are studies that show that BPD affects the genders equally in the general population. 2.. people who suffer from borderline personality disorder are not parasites bent on sucking people dry or exploiting them, and often don't recognize that they are manipulating people. They don't want your paycheck, and they are not looking for a mute lap dog that will just repeat their opinions back to them. They are looking for a representation of either the parent they wanted or the parent that wounded them, depending on where they are in their split. I know that the way you talk about people with borderline personality disorder is rooted in Anger and woundedness that was likely caused by a BPD sufferer and I'm sorry for that, but that doesn't give you the right to treat them like that or talk about them like that. Am I giving them any excuse for their abuse? No! Absolutely not, what they did, intentional or not was still wrong and there's usually a mixture of both in BPD. does that mean they are capable of healthy love? No. Until they get through treatment they are not able to love you, they see you as something they need and not another person with needs of their own, if that makes sense. I don't have BPD myself, and I also deal with some things at the hands of someone I think could be a BPD sufferer ( although she may be comorbid with another personality disorder and I think she is) but I have learned a lot about BPD and other personality disorders recently and I have some level of compassion for those who suffer with them. it doesn't seem like a very pleasant thing to deal with and I count my blessings everyday knowing that despite my past and all the abuse in it, I did not develop one. I hope you're in a better situation now and are away from the BPD sufferer who abused you, and I hope your healing is going well.
That’s awful and just plain disrespectful. I have bpd but I’m the opposite. I will worship my partner and want nothing from anyone but him alone. Then again I attract powerful rich narcissistic men and they wouldn’t tolerate that disrespect for even a minute .
The theory behind personality parts stemming from trauma is called The Theory of Structural Dissociation of the Personality. Look it up. I believe this is KEY in recovery from dissociative BPD.
A VERY INTERESTING WORLD OF FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS CONCERNING BPD /PTSD THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOURSELF FOR OTHERS TO UNDERSTAND THEMSELVES !!!!! LOVE YOU!!!
Thank you so much for sharing this info. I have been looking here for some answers for a friend and you have really nailed the issue and did it gently.
I know this. I know I have a split. The trigger usually a past love addiction thinking I saw them with someone else. Or a perceived rejection or real rejection or someone ignoring me. The result is fear, feeling lost, feeling small, feeling I am a little child and have no power and no ability to self soothe, shame, abandoned. It’s how to get out of that child ego state quick enough to not act out on it or make bad decisions that has consequence that has been nearly impossible for me. What In the world is going on. I need DBT. Just bought the workbook. DBT therapist is next.
I'm watching your posts right now because, we have so much dysfunction in my house right now! Aagh!!! But thank you. Mindfulness is great. Just discovered it. I'll keep watching. Keep em coming, lady ( wanted to say girl. U look like a girl to me at 52 years old). Very nice inviting way about you. Namaste.
My therapist just pointed out to me that I have a split self. It blew my mind. My split self is cynical, angry, untrusting and an isolator. She's a lot of fun, lol. I see it now.
This explanation is very good. People don't split in the same way, but that the ones who do it don't actually realize it is true. Yes, some people split into dangerous situations. I've seen it happen to someone, too, like your doctor did.
I'm likely complex PTSD. ..I've not heard how splitting can come into play, but clearly it could be an important factor in reintegration of earlier, unresolved phases of childhood. Quite interesting hypothesis.
i came across your vidoes and never heard of the split. thank you for talking about this and explaining it. i myself enjoy alot of the times a child, even though im a 41 year old women. i become a child when im in stress or cant handle the situation.
Thanks for this video Debbie . I have BPD and PTSD and regularly split. I go into this strange mode and go and meet strange men around my city and sleep with them. Often I've no memory of how I got to the place I am with them. It's really scary but I take medication when I start to feel myself getting unwell which calms my body and mind down. Three weeks back I had incidents of barricading my front door and the police smashing it down and no memory of this either
hi debbie i think that what you are doing is very useful my niece has been diagnosed with bpd and ptsd i am just now learning about this disorder so that i can help her fight the effects of this disorder. thanks for doing this ive learned a lot,
omg wtf i donno if i split into a specific age??? but i definitely split into this "child" who just wanna go to the playground, play with a bunch of toys, build sandcastles, be so loud and annoy people for the fun of it. I never noticed when this gets triggered, maybe i should keep an eye out?? is this an example of what you are talking about or is this a thing with everyone? my childhood was pretty tragic but i did have a childhood by myself, where i had alot of toys and shit like that???? idk??? the most traumatic areas for me as a kid was school and my parents' constant arguments at home. I was "abused" only by the age of 11+ ?
Can we define a normal person? Doesn't it mean the majority of the population? Im finding more and more people are discovering they are not what they think is the "normal". I think we all have trauma at some point in our lives. I think experienceing trauma is the "normal" human condition. I ♡ your presentations
PattyS - For a person who suffers from BPD - this IS our normal, but we don't have to accept it and play into it as though we are victims of this horrible disease. I choose to be happy and I choose to love myself so that I can be an example for others who live with it on a daily basis. You CAN overcome the symptoms and triggers, if you set your mind to it.
@@belindacarter6872 it is a genetic predisposition and doctors are calling it a disease. Just like other diseases like MS, Parkinsons, or many other diseases that are from brain. Alcoholism and drug addiction are from brain changes and both called diseases. No need to feel shame and lash out. It is what it is... a disease!!! I know the stigma is unpleasant, but you have to accept it.
I've been able to recognize my splits for over a year now, and I've noticed that they always appear when I'm so scared that my mind instinctively wants to separate from the current person that I am. The difference is that my inner dialogue is completely unchanged, it's just that my speech and actions are that of a 2 or 3 year old girl. If I don't let myself regress like that I end up running away and hiding, so I pretty much just let myself regress for a little while and just make sure I don't do something stupid.
Great video! I loved the book Sybil as a student and it helped shape my understanding of personality disorder since then. I'm sharing this weekend with PDAN!
Debbie! Do you ever feel the pain that the recover! Gets when you split from love to hate someone who loves you deeply? I was the one on the otherside! It was the most painful experience I will ever want! But I'm learning a lot about the borderline it seems like the impossible connection! Will talk later!
Yupp, know dis. I have even read my mental health history from the hospital and the first contact in the mental health system when i was 16 or 17 years old i had this split as a very intense ptsd symptom, but i have bpd too so maybe it was both, but they wrote ptsd at that point. And there i was like a child, acted like a child, talked like a child and was little like a child and was reffered to be almost psychotic. I did not know this, i remember that time, how i experianced it and i found it interessting to read how other observed me and how i really was.
I had to actually take a break (cuz I'm dramatic asf) and scream bc I relate on so many motherfucking levels with this . And it's hard to explain the phenomenons of thought process I have and the way I feel and think Like fuckkkkkkk. you get me 🌝🥂👌🏼
It's embarrassing I feel like I turn to a little girl whenever someone is mean and hostile towards me mostly when it is a boss, I actually cry and shake or have an anxiety attack. I know the my bosses or anyone around is shocked 😲 I have have always tried to be a pleaser and just ignore the rudeness or hostilness in a person's voice, although normal people would object wnd stick up for them selves
Interesting. True I witnessed the split child coming out with my Ex. I favour she had BPD rather than PTSD due to dichotomous thinking some narcissistic behaviours & she was never wrong always my fault 100%!
I finally remember the Apple Cider vinegar, and get home to put it on the shelf, and oops! I just bought one. I'm single - when I end up with 2 gals of milk it's a problem.
I split into a 6-year old when someone confronts me in an angry way or bullies me. This has been especially difficult for me in work environments- particularly if there is a boss or coworkers who have anger problems or appear to dislike me. More often than not I get re-traumatized.
OMG me too! It's embarrassing I actually cry and shake or have an anxiety attack. I know the my bosses or anyone around is shocked 😲
I have have always tried to be a pleaser and just ignore the rudeness or hostilness in a person's voice, although normal people would object wnd stick up for them selves
This just opened my eyes to even more things with my BPD, and thank you so much! I often go from being super compassionate and caring to vicious and lacking in empathy (often after stressful periods).
Yup. Great video isn't it?
I have complex ptsd this is something I have been seeing happening to me tbh it scared me when I was made aware. I feel like I'm constantly analyze myself to see which me turns up.
My ex has BPD. She would split between extreme care and disdain for me. The hardest type of split for me to take was when in public and around men that showed her any attention, she would split and ignore me in what seemed like an obvious way and then do anything to maintain the other man's attention. In one instance, she kicked off her shoes and started kicking her legs like a showgirl and shaking her body with a huge smile (no one else was dancing, no music, she was just could not get enough attention). This was around strange men whose interest probably was not platonic. And everyone looked at me like "your GF is acting bizarrely and disrespecting you". Several times, she put herself into dangerous positions and I had to endanger myself to extricate her, all the while everyone else aghast and her oblivious to why I or anyone else would be upset. At times, her split was into this flirty temptress type that seemed was trying to purposefully hurt me (acting like she could care less if I was in the room, but at the same time it was obvious she knew exactly how to hurt me). It was very clear when she would do this due to her total change in body language. She would often start cursing a lot also and talking loudly, like every other word out of her mouth was the f-word. Very difficult to endure from my end. When I left, she blamed me for being too weak to love her in any possible situation she could put me in.
That's one thing that BPDs sometimes seem not to understand: another adult does not owe you lifelong, unconditional love. If your behavior hurts them badly enough, then they should leave (and if it were your friend being hurt similarly by a lover, then you'd probably advise said friend to leave that person).
MrShysterme - After reading this post, I have extreme empathy for you, for I too, suffer from BPD. Before I learned of this diagnosis - I was a HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE person! I hurt everyone that I loved - sometimes intentionally to deflect from my own pain and sometimes, unintentionally - meaning this BPD was just an excuse for bad behavior. Now, I treat everyone with respect and dignity - and with the same kind of love that I have for myself. I still have BPD - but after I realized how much it hurt me too - I finally became the person I knew that I could be, not the person whom I "thought" I was. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
If a girl did this to me I would laugh at her and say is that all you got!
@@catherinecookson225
Hi there:
I think you're a little bit off on borderline personality disorder and I hope you'll hear me out.
1. Women are not the only people that get BPD and there are studies that show that BPD affects the genders equally in the general population.
2.. people who suffer from borderline personality disorder are not parasites bent on sucking people dry or exploiting them, and often don't recognize that they are manipulating people. They don't want your paycheck, and they are not looking for a mute lap dog that will just repeat their opinions back to them. They are looking for a representation of either the parent they wanted or the parent that wounded them, depending on where they are in their split. I know that the way you talk about people with borderline personality disorder is rooted in Anger and woundedness that was likely caused by a BPD sufferer and I'm sorry for that, but that doesn't give you the right to treat them like that or talk about them like that.
Am I giving them any excuse for their abuse? No! Absolutely not, what they did, intentional or not was still wrong and there's usually a mixture of both in BPD.
does that mean they are capable of healthy love? No. Until they get through treatment they are not able to love you, they see you as something they need and not another person with needs of their own, if that makes sense.
I don't have BPD myself, and I also deal with some things at the hands of someone I think could be a BPD sufferer ( although she may be comorbid with another personality disorder and I think she is) but I have learned a lot about BPD and other personality disorders recently and I have some level of compassion for those who suffer with them. it doesn't seem like a very pleasant thing to deal with and I count my blessings everyday knowing that despite my past and all the abuse in it, I did not develop one.
I hope you're in a better situation now and are away from the BPD sufferer who abused you, and I hope your healing is going well.
@@MentalDeviant nigga please
That’s awful and just plain disrespectful. I have bpd but I’m the opposite. I will worship my partner and want nothing from anyone but him alone. Then again I attract powerful rich narcissistic men and they wouldn’t tolerate that disrespect for even a minute .
The theory behind personality parts stemming from trauma is called The Theory of Structural Dissociation of the Personality. Look it up. I believe this is KEY in recovery from dissociative BPD.
It's like the schemas - angry/impulsive child; abandoned child; punitive parent; defensive adult; healthy adult
Thanks so much for your comment Thorned Rose. ♥
Wow.. I have been reading up on this and your explanation has just been phenomenal
A VERY INTERESTING WORLD OF FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS CONCERNING BPD /PTSD THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOURSELF FOR OTHERS TO UNDERSTAND THEMSELVES !!!!! LOVE YOU!!!
Thank you so much for sharing this info. I have been looking here for some answers for a friend and you have really nailed the issue and did it gently.
Oh man, I got do much anxiety watching this because I could relate. Thanks for this video. I knew I dissociated but had no idea I was doing this too.
I know this. I know I have a split. The trigger usually a past love addiction thinking I saw them with someone else.
Or a perceived rejection or real rejection or someone ignoring me.
The result is fear, feeling lost, feeling small, feeling I am a little child and have no power and no ability to self soothe, shame, abandoned.
It’s how to get out of that child ego state quick enough to not act out on it or make bad decisions that has consequence that has been nearly impossible for me.
What In the world is going on. I need DBT. Just bought the workbook. DBT therapist is next.
I'm watching your posts right now because, we have so much dysfunction in my house right now! Aagh!!! But thank you. Mindfulness is great. Just discovered it. I'll keep watching. Keep em coming, lady ( wanted to say girl. U look like a girl to me at 52 years old). Very nice inviting way about you. Namaste.
My therapist just pointed out to me that I have a split self. It blew my mind. My split self is cynical, angry, untrusting and an isolator. She's a lot of fun, lol. I see it now.
Me too, and my name is also Rachel
Funny but painful sometimes.
This makes me feel so relieved and enlightened. Thank you, so much for bringing me some peace and insight.
This explanation is very good. People don't split in the same way, but that the ones who do it don't actually realize it is true. Yes, some people split into dangerous situations. I've seen it happen to someone, too, like your doctor did.
I'm likely complex PTSD. ..I've not heard how splitting can come into play, but clearly it could be an important factor in reintegration of earlier, unresolved phases of childhood. Quite interesting hypothesis.
I split all the time and seem to have no control over it. It's frustrating because it makes decision making and relationships very difficult.
i came across your vidoes and never heard of the split. thank you for talking about this and explaining it. i myself enjoy alot of the times a child, even though im a 41 year old women. i become a child when im in stress or cant handle the situation.
Thank you, and yes i get told i split in several different situations, usually involving anger.
What about the good and evil side of yourself fighting against each other? Great video ❤ for me it's like for months one, for months another
Thanks for this video Debbie . I have BPD and PTSD and regularly split. I go into this strange mode and go and meet strange men around my city and sleep with them. Often I've no memory of how I got to the place I am with them. It's really scary but I take medication when I start to feel myself getting unwell which calms my body and mind down. Three weeks back I had incidents of barricading my front door and the police smashing it down and no memory of this either
hi debbie i think that what you are doing is very useful my niece has been diagnosed with bpd and ptsd i am just now learning about this disorder so that i can help her fight the effects of this disorder. thanks for doing this ive learned a lot,
omg wtf i donno if i split into a specific age??? but i definitely split into this "child" who just wanna go to the playground, play with a bunch of toys, build sandcastles, be so loud and annoy people for the fun of it. I never noticed when this gets triggered, maybe i should keep an eye out?? is this an example of what you are talking about or is this a thing with everyone? my childhood was pretty tragic but i did have a childhood by myself, where i had alot of toys and shit like that???? idk??? the most traumatic areas for me as a kid was school and my parents' constant arguments at home. I was "abused" only by the age of 11+ ?
I love this video and yes please do more videos about this topic something I'm dealing with all the time.. This was very helpful
Very helpful understanding my ex borderline. Thank you.
Can we define a normal person? Doesn't it mean the majority of the population? Im finding more and more people are discovering they are not what they think is the "normal". I think we all have trauma at some point in our lives. I think experienceing trauma is the "normal" human condition. I ♡ your presentations
PattyS - For a person who suffers from BPD - this IS our normal, but we don't have to accept it and play into it as though we are victims of this horrible disease. I choose to be happy and I choose to love myself so that I can be an example for others who live with it on a daily basis. You CAN overcome the symptoms and triggers, if you set your mind to it.
I fully agree with TheSkepticUn
Denise Bailey bpd and ptsd are not diseases
@@belindacarter6872 it is a genetic predisposition and doctors are calling it a disease. Just like other diseases like MS, Parkinsons, or many other diseases that are from brain. Alcoholism and drug addiction are from brain changes and both called diseases. No need to feel shame and lash out. It is what it is... a disease!!! I know the stigma is unpleasant, but you have to accept it.
Thanks for sharing your story. This is helpful for me to learn about Splitting
Thanks for the work you are doing!
Hi,thank you for all videos that you shared in RUclips
just say thank you and love you
hope you have a happy and healthy life.
I regress all the time. But I do it alone. If I listen to a song I like change and turn into that child, depending how old I am
I thought I was seeing things when I saw your door being opened I was glad to see a cat coming in lol. Wonder if anyone else noticed?
Good info
Very enlightening! i experience episodes of emotional regression. I’ll learn more bout engaging and re-integrating that little girl. THANKS AGAIN!
I've been able to recognize my splits for over a year now, and I've noticed that they always appear when I'm so scared that my mind instinctively wants to separate from the current person that I am. The difference is that my inner dialogue is completely unchanged, it's just that my speech and actions are that of a 2 or 3 year old girl. If I don't let myself regress like that I end up running away and hiding, so I pretty much just let myself regress for a little while and just make sure I don't do something stupid.
Great video! I loved the book Sybil as a student and it helped shape my understanding of personality disorder since then. I'm sharing this weekend with PDAN!
Thank you so much for sharing, Vickie! ♥
thank you for your information on this subject. My daughter was diagnosed and she believes i have this also.
i have both bpd and ptsd thankyou for makeing this video THIER IS HOPE LOL i think xxxx
Thank you Destiny! ♥
Debbie! Do you ever feel the pain that the recover! Gets when you split from love to hate someone who loves you deeply? I was the one on the otherside! It was the most painful experience I will ever want! But I'm learning a lot about the borderline it seems like the impossible connection! Will talk later!
Awesome, and thanks for sharing Stephanie! ♥
Yupp, know dis. I have even read my mental health history from the hospital and the first contact in the mental health system when i was 16 or 17 years old i had this split as a very intense ptsd symptom, but i have bpd too so maybe it was both, but they wrote ptsd at that point. And there i was like a child, acted like a child, talked like a child and was little like a child and was reffered to be almost psychotic. I did not know this, i remember that time, how i experianced it and i found it interessting to read how other observed me and how i really was.
I have BPD, and PTSD too. I always have different coping methods that have been used through life. Each one is for protection. Is that similar?
Me too
That's deep, and probably true in some cases. ♥
Thank you Fish! ♥
I had to actually take a break (cuz I'm dramatic asf) and scream bc I relate on so many motherfucking levels with this . And it's hard to explain the phenomenons of thought process I have and the way I feel and think Like fuckkkkkkk. you get me 🌝🥂👌🏼
It's embarrassing I feel like I turn to a little girl whenever someone is mean and hostile towards me mostly when it is a boss, I actually cry and shake or have an anxiety attack. I know the my bosses or anyone around is shocked 😲
I have have always tried to be a pleaser and just ignore the rudeness or hostilness in a person's voice, although normal people would object wnd stick up for them selves
Thank you for this video. I have a split self.
WOW! You had that experience, too?! Thanks for sharing!
Good video. I'm not diagnosed with bpd but can relate to the symptoms somewhat. :)
Good video. Very true! I can totally relate to what you talked about!
Interesting. True I witnessed the split child coming out with my Ex. I favour she had BPD rather than PTSD due to dichotomous thinking some narcissistic behaviours & she was never wrong always my fault 100%!
Why do you people stalk??
Thank you so much!
Debbie what you've described is the splitting in Dissociative Identity Disorder. How do you figure this is different from DID?
Hi Kimberly. If you go to Healing From BPD dot org, you can find the link to connect on Facebook. See you there! ♥
I finally remember the Apple Cider vinegar, and get home to put it on the shelf, and oops! I just bought one. I'm single - when I end up with 2 gals of milk it's a problem.
thank you for posting
I didnt know. I'm scared.
Wow I can totally relate
God - I wish i could be in that group.
Love your video but have to tell you your cat is hilarious!
I don't like how this vid is edited. It lost me after a few minutes. Shame as it could have been interesting.
It was super helpful to me. : )
that's multiple personality disorder
Aww thank you :)
How is this resolved ?
Oh I'm aware yay
9:09: is the only one that actually has always happened!!! ....
I couldn't find you on facebook
What's with the crazy editing, chopping off words and cutting off thoughts mid-sentence? Why did you do this?
Wonderful info here.
thank you
Thank youx
Y’all this is about PTSD. Don’t apply this solely on BPD. U look like morons in the comments yo’ fight me
WOW that explains a lot lol time to do some research
I dont split into a kid though. It's something else lol
I came here to learn about splitting and two minutes into this you have said nothing who cares about your group focus on the point
Matt Fredrickson 😂