My best friend has BPD. She's one of the warmest, kindest, most creative people I've ever known...and she can also be volatile and a little exhausting. She feels things in extremes. When she's happy she's endlessly creative and funny; when she's hurting she's a live wire. She's not the easiest person to be friends with, but I wouldn't trade her friendship for anything in the world.
You're an absolute peach! A lot of us understand that we're not the easiest people to put up with sometimes, so when we meet someone who is willing to put in the effort, even if we don't feel deserving of them, we appreciate them with all of our hearts for sticking by us through the highs and the lows. ♥️
having bpd is literally a nightmare. to feel emotions so intensely and have suicidal thoughts from a small trigger is exhausting. Our anger is so intense we do impulsive shit we don’t mean to, then get extra guilty and depressed. I’ve had it since I was 15. To a borderline something small can be the end of the world. Don’t self diagnose by watching these symptoms, go to a doctor this is pretty serious shit that takes lives everyday. And for all of you that can’t afford a doctor, focus on your symptoms instead of labeling yourself. Do a lot of research. Self-diagnosis might do more harm than good since bpd symptoms overlap with other mental illnesses. Take care :)
People dont understand why we are angry """all the time""", or lat least for me people always said that im so weak because i feel so bad with something little... They never understand
shit man, you like perfectly described it, i feel almost exactly the same. i was diagnosed with it when i was 13, but i showed signs before then and i remember feeling like a fucking demon. i’m glad there’s other people out there that know the struggle, i’m glad i’m not alone. take care of yourself.
@@Trollestiatumblur same here, there’s something called hidden bpd where your intense emotions get bottled up and it turns into self-hatred, psych2go made a video on it, it made me feel like less of a weird borderline, so if you feel like that, i recommend the video to you
As someone with BPD (quiet subtype) I can tell you this has ruined every relationship I've ever had, mostly romantic, but some friendships too. Now I isolate because it feels safer. It is a very lonely existence.
Yo really late but I suffer from the same thing (quiet BPD subtype) and I've ruined so so many relationships and I still am and still will but isolating I promise only makes you feel worse, you need to get out there and make connections. Maybe we have more unstable relationships but that doesn't mean that every single one will be or that we don't deserve human connection because of it. My bf understands very little of BPD and he is the most stable and best relationship I have ever had. You have to take the risk of losing people and man it hurts like hell but I promise when you find that person, you wont regret everything it took to get there. I'm here if you need anything!!!!
Something that wasn't mentioned is the chameleon effect. People with BPD can have tendencies to adopt other people's behaviors and lose track of who they are or how they thought about things before. They can then become paranoid thinking they are being controlled. It's a very strange interaction if you don't know that they have a disorder.
Aww that’s really sweet and it makes me really happy to hear when someone is really trying to understand someone they know who has an illness/mental illness 🥺
As someone who suffers with extreme severe anxiety I can totally relate to her. I would stop eating for days at a time as a punishment. I worry a lot about my life, everyone around me and pleasing everyone. It's absolutely crippling, so glad she got the help she needed, lovely young lady it's so sad that society has 1 in 3 people suffering mental health issues. I hope everyone seeks help
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about how mushrooms and psychedelics treats anxiety, but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, doctor Greg mushroom I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
people with BPD are often misunderstood and mislabeled as "crazy". thank you for sharing this, hopefully we can all understand each other a little better with these videos.
Yea and it doesn't help that in movies the person with BPD is always the crazy ex-girlfriend or the crazy girl trying to get this one boy and willing to kill for it..
media portrays us very poorly, but i also feel like the people that end up having a platform that have bpd have self diagnosed themselves or end up further stigmatizing the disorder
My partner has BPD and after a lot of therapy (before we met), she feels she has a pretty decent handle on coping with it. Sometimes she still needs to hear me reassure her of my feelings and intentions. And sometimes a mood swing will catch us off guard, but we carefully work through it together. If you have BPD, your life can get better and you can have healthy, fulfilling relationships. Please don't give up.
I know your intentions are good but the BPD in me can say stfu what do you know and don’t be so patronising to tell me not to give up… I’ve lived like this for 30 years. That’s the black and white thinking cas on another day I’d say your g/f is so lucky to have you and your clearly empathetic. That is the joys of splitting…. I know your intentions are good, no offence, I’m just using your comment to show the craziness that is BPD. (And your g/f is very lucky to have you!)
your comment brought tears to my eyes, thank you for sharing this and thank you on behalf of your partner for being such a steady, understanding and caring presence for her.
My boyfriend and i have worked together through it and like you said still struggle sometimes. Its nice to hear a good similar situation. Sometimes i still panic when I realize ill have this mental illness forever
The way I picture BPD is that your mind is split. Your constantly trying to figure out what you feel about things, and when you think you have an idea you mind decides to flip on you and you feel the complete opposite. It feels like my mind is shattered into different pieces and there constantly changing.
It’s exhausting. I overthink EVERYTHING because of it. I drive people crazy because I lose my shit one minute and then I feel sooooo awful and apologize like crazy.
Totally true! It's like I cannot make a decision and the moment I do, my mind starts cross questioning. And there I go submerge my head into self doubt and paranoia.
@@ruchaj1748 it's a huge struggle in life we have to deal with and can take years to slowly figure out, if ever. I hope you and everyone else can figure your journeys and struggles out. As hard as it may be to believe, peace can be achieved and I hope you find it someday.
My girlfriend has BPD, and we've been together for almost 3 years. Sadly, I never fully understood how to be a support, and that has caused our relationship to become unstable. But here I am, watching this video to be able to have a healthier relationship for both of us. I hope it's not too late, I love her
these replies... they're so wholesome 😭 i literally have most, if not all the symptoms of BPD, the weirdest thing is that when I was way younger i used to have most, if not all signs of ASPD which doesn't make sense. im so confused.
I wish my boyfriend would have done the same for me. He always said he would inform himself and work WITH me but in the end he just accepted me aprubtly ending the relationship,.......
yep. i will hate a job so much that i quit without notice to get out and protect myself in the moment. two weeks later i’m full of guilt and regret because i’m broke. then i beat myself up about it.
Aside from many of the symptoms listed, my sister cut contact with her entire family about 12 years ago over nothing, literally. The strange thing is that we all live within a 10 mile radius of each other and often see her in different places with no interaction on her part. Both our parents have passed away in that time span and she didn't acknowledge either of them.. we have always been a close family, so this was /is extremely difficult for us to comprehend. We had no falling out or argument or hard feelings.. she simply cut us ALL out one day, just like that. It's been very painful to understand and we've made many attempts to reach out with no cooperation on her part. Very strange disorder.
I cut contact when I find flaw in ppl. Like they do mistake or hurt me (unintentionally). I just change myself so much so that ppl will stay with me and like me. I give too much then expect same from them. And what not. So yeah I do this. It comes to a point questioning myself that should I follow my gut instincts about them or should I be totally fine with their behaviour and following their rules.
As someone who has BPD, I can confidently say that this alone has ruined a lot of relationships/bonds w people in general for me. It isn't easy but with the help of therapy and antidepressants (cus i have a whole slue of mental things going on) I'm getting better. If I can do it, so do you. Stay strong
I'm glad your doing better! I think that maybe I have a mental disorder but I'm gonna have to reach out to someone for a full diagnosis. I've been diagnosed with mild depression and anxiety, and I think it's important that I reach out to someone who can help so nothing gets worse. And my sister may have bipolar disorder so it could be that.
@@AngryZukoHere I highly recommend that you seek the help you want/need. Getting started on your healing journey will do so so much for you. I truly hope the best for both you and your sister. Take care
4:31 Most BPD specialists make it clear that while theoretically BPD may have a genetic basis, in their careers they have not encountered a single case where there was not also a traumatic childhood event or events, or a whole lot of neglect. So, in practice, every BPD is a severely injured child who has grown up.
*9 Things You Need to Know About BPD* *1.* Fear of abandonment 0:57 *2.* Persistent and wide mood swings 1:16 *3.* Paranoid thinking 1:48 *4.* Emptiness 2:16 *5.* Impulsivity 2:52 *6.* Splitting 3:22 *7.* Trust issues 4:00 *8.* Risk factors for development can be environmental and/or inherited 4:26 *9.* Change in interest and values 4:55 thanks for the video! 💛
I have BPD. When I went for a "formal" diagnosis for it, I explained the symptoms I have, and detailed how I met all nine criteria for the disorder. After an exhaustive battery of tests, the psychologist "ruled out" BPD. He determined I knew too much about the disorder, and "exaggerated" my test results. The test wasn't just for BPD, but also ADHD, which he also ruled out for the same reason. We are expected to be completely ignorant of the disorders that plague us. I studied psychology in college, was married to a licenced counselor, and spent many years in therapy. For me to be ignorant of my particular disorders is not possible, and for me to be expected to act ignorant of them just to receive an "official" diagnosis (even though I was already diagnosed from my therapist and her supervising psychologist) is absurd. I hope none of you have had the experience of being nullified by psychiatric "professionals" as I have . If your overwhelming symptoms are "ruled out", do not despair. Not all professionals have the ability to lack bias in their practice.
Diagnosing psychologists tend to have an ego that hinders people's access to mental healthcare and wellness which is absolute bullshit although doesnt mean people should self-diagnose. I had to get a 2nd psychologist that was referred through my therapist the 2nd time to get a real assessment for ADHD. I went through my PCP the first time who I had to push to get a referral from because she said I didnt have it because I didnt have bad grades at the moment and therefor I didnt need treatment. That's bullshit too. 2nd guy was awesome tho.
This is exactly why I do not nor will never trust or support doctors. There are a few good ones but the entire medical industry is corrupt as hell and a lot of the things going on are incentivized by the insurance companies so you do not get proper care and people get to continue to sell you stuff you do not need. I will fight anybody that says self-diagnosing is not okay. It is perfectly fine Just do it correctly and make sure you are studying the DSM-5 and doing mass amounts of research not just watching one video and deciding oh I have a disorder which is Just as ridiculous as all these doctors pushing stupid things or misdiagnosing people multiple times.
I did an intake for a psychiatrist for my adhd and she said idk I think you have something else like bpd which yes finally someone acknowledged it. But I went to the psychiatrist and he doesn’t believe in labels -.-
My fiancé had BPD but we figured it too late and he didn’t survive his drug habit. My relationship with him was the best and worst relationship of my lifetime. He was a beautiful soul and had so much left to do in life. His son and I miss him everyday. Do not take this lightly if you or loved one are in this situation. Please seek help before it’s too late. Do not give up! You are worth it.
Oh thank you so much! He is deeply missed, and we will see him again one day. One thing I do know for certain... our souls never die. He came to me in a lucid dream, giving me so much love and hope❤️💫
I'm really sorry for your loss. I think my partner is dealing with me in the same way. I was currently diagnosed with BPD and it's really hard for both of us. He's trying to be patient and I'm trying not to take it out on him, even when it's too much. And the thought of hurting him is one of the few things that sometimes keeping me for hurting myself too. I feel you 🌠
Its painful reading this and thinking, this is probably how my fiancee feels. I need to get a life and get better. I hope you and your son are OK, I bet his dad would have loved him so much. I am so, so sorry if I am out of line to say that.
As a man with BPD, getting more awareness out about this disorder feels so important. It's more than just "sociopathy in women". It's an actual distinct mental illness that requires a very delicate approach to deal with.
@@zeah the stereotypes do a lot of harm. Women get diagnosed quite easily with bpd and men are underdiagnosed. As well as men get diagnosed easily with adhd and women are underdiagnosed and/or misdiagnosed. Those arrogantly formed stereotypes in society as in "women are crazy" & "men/boys can't focus and are all over the place" being normalized make life really hard for us.
my psychiatrist told me i may have a possibility of BPD, but I have ADHD which makes it really difficult. like it's possible to have both, but that's so difficult to diagnose, and i'm scared i might have BPD.
@@Noel_Wood I have both, and I go through therapy a lot. BPD is usually trauma related, which is very common for people with adhd because of how invalidated their disorder is. Not everyone who has adhd had BPD and vice versa, but is definitely not uncommon either.
@@terhisomersalo8588 sadly it’s because there are also many women who are fakers and women are more likely to fake a disorder for attention than men. It’s also because generally men are less likely to seek help for problems to begin with and understandably because there is a higher chance they won’t be taken seriously. I would know from personal experience when I was literally told I’m not allowed or supposed to have suicidal feelings or depression.
I know... I got diagnosed with depression 3 years ago, but it turned out to be bpd. It's confusing, even for us. Separating your mental disorder from you as a person is probably one of the hardest things you'll ever do, but it's so worth it. You aren't your bpd. I know every mood swing feels like a tsunami, but that's okay. Keep going love
I have BPD and it’s definitely a struggle, reality for me looks way different for you. I’m consistently tired and talked down to, labeled as crazy, and forgotten about because people don’t want to be around the crazy guy.
I’m with you... my sister called me an attention seeker after i opened up about my condition. Its like im always wrong either way unless i do things their way 🤷🏻♀️
To all my brothers and sisters out there with this disorder. Acceptance is key. I have lived with BPD my whole life and I've now stopped fighting it. It's who I am. I am everything this video suggests. Am I ashamed? Not at all. I know I'm a sensitive and caring person, who always puts others first. May the stars shine brightly on you all!
thank you for your true words. My partner and I both are living with BPD and we accepted each other like we are from moment one. It is not always easy but being sensitive and putting others first is also the key to why it is working the way it is. May understanding find you all - love N
I’m the same way I’m very self aware just so concious I always feel alone and my girl has it but she doesn’t admit to it like I do she’s in denial of her bad ways so she won’t change I’m aware of who I am so it’s easy for me to not do certain toxic things I can always kids stop myself before I do something stupid in my relationship bcuz I’m one of those people I won’t argue unless I’m right if I’m wrong I’ll say I’m wrong but my girl can’t say she’s wrong not once in a year and a half will she say she was wrong for something
@@Dr.J.Kelleytv Maybe because society today really frowns upon being less than perfect. Keep modeling how to take ownership of your mistakes and apologizing when applicable. She just might come around. Let her know you love her no matter what.
Two of my childhood best friends had BPD. Unfortunately, earlier this year, we lost her. If ur someone that has BPD, and ur thinking about doing something u shouldn't, please don't. I wish I could've told her that I loved her one last time. Told her how there's still more steps to take, more things to try out that could help some of it. So if ur here, reading this, and you have it. This is your sign. You're meant to live. You're meant to survive this, trust me, you've got it in you, you really, TRULY do. I love you, to the ends of this world and back. I think I may struggle w BPD or something w similar symptoms, besides my diagnosed ADHD. I say that to tell you: Idk wtf I do or don't have, but I do know life is dog shit a lot of the time. But some day, you'll get to choose how you want to live it, everything decided by you, meaning you might be able to find ways to cope, find small ways to make your days brighter, and make those bad days less frequent. I believe we can do it. You AND me. But you've got to trust me, I cannot stress this enough; the "easy way out" isn't a way out of it at all. That's way less than what you deserve out of life. WAY less. You may find urself to be unstable and unpredictable, but then again, so is the beautiful universe out there. It's dark and twisted and complicated. But from what I understand about it, and from what I've seen from pictures out there, it's also absolutely beautiful. So don't do anything harmful to yourself dear; we're not even close to being done w learning about the universe, we've barely seen anything, so why do you think this is all there is to and for you?:)
i don’t know who you are, or where you came from, but to me tonight- you’re my angel. thank you so much for writing this message, words will never express how much gratitude i have towards you in my heart right now. just thank you so much. please keep spreading your beauty to this earth ❤
My soon to be ex wife has BPD. I did all the counseling and classes books, ect to try and better myself. When she was diagnosed I watched videos on BPD and the such to educate myself. To avoid triggers, always reassuring, not engaging the outburst. I still got sent to jail for doing nothing except love her and try to sort through BPD with her. She would call police during outbursts and me being a big man always took the fall. Even if I wasn't the outbursts target. I am facing more jail time yet because of BPD unregulated in her life. She has done little to help herself with this disorder. She is a great, loving, kind, and a perfect wife, except BPD. I don't blame her I blame BPD and the trauma that as caused it I know she didn't mean it and can't control it. I love her so much. The love of my life!!!! BPD has taken most my family and friends from my life. Has taken my freedom, and self worth away. I just can't do it anymore!!!! If I stayed suicide was my next option. I had to leave which I know is abandonment, and a big trigger. I miss her so much, but my life can't take it any longer. I cry as I type these words for what bpd has taken from me. I need help. I hope sharing this helps others, because all of the other comments don't. It's like listening to a mellow BPD episode. It's sad, I'm sad. I feel like the only one out there with these troubles.
I'm so sorry about this and I want you to know you are a hero in my book for sticking it out as long as you did. I have BPD and often feel attacked by my family when they haven't actually done anything wrong. It's hard to have false memories and experiences but that doesn't mean our love ones deserve to face consequences for things they didn't do! Hopefully she will get therapy so she can heal and learn to adapt and be in a healthier state. Till then it is better for you to put boundaries and distance. Also find healthy relationships and people in your life. I also recommend therapy/counseling for you. That is a heavy burden you have dealt with a trained professional with understanding of BPD and what the families go through will be able to help you heal and make this an easier process! I wish you all the best!
@@cridow he's probably meaning for her to get support and a better understanding of herself and her condition. Obviously in timr managing her condition. I wouldn't jump to what you've just said. Especially how much he's been through. That is unkind.
Nine things about BPD you need to know: 1. Fear of abandonment 2. Persistent and wide mood swings 3. Paranoid thinking 4. Emptiness/drug use 5. Impulsivity 6. Splitting (id. no middle ground, very high or very low 7. Trust Issues 8. Risk factors for development can be environmental and/or inherited (childhood trauma starts in early adulthood) 9. Change in interest and values
@@willnicholson18 my mother has borderline personality disorder I live over 2 hours away there's a reason for that. It was unbearable to grow up in that household. She has the essence of Amber Heard but is also dangerous to others. She refuses to get help. I sent her a mother's Day card and a text and now she's playing that she never received it or is acknowledging it because she wants her way in her way is to get me on the phone directly so she can lash out at me because she's having a bad day. I sent her a follow-up text after she left the voicemail saying she needed to talk to me I told her to text me no response again. The only way I can communicate with her is through email and texting. Every time I have a conversation with her I can count on one thing she'll rip me apart and make me feel bad and try to make me feel that it's all my fault. You know what she also has never told a lie or been dishonest in any way. Yeah she's a real Mary Poppins
Also, having and relating to all of these things does not mean you have BPD. I encourage people to NOT diagnose themselves with BPD just because they can relate to the condition. Always get a professional diagnosis. This comment is not for anyone in particular. Just a generalized comment, because people online have a habit of jumping to conclusions.
I’m glad that there is more information now about BPD without categorizing us as crazy or abusive. You can be a good person with BPD or a bad person with BPD, but the BPD doesn’t make you bad.
All the people with borderline I have ever known are destructive and abusive, sorry. In pain, yes, but destructive and abusive nevertheless. They need serious therapy and not excuses for their often awful behaviors.
@@rosieposie9564 I’m not saying that some people with borderline aren’t abusive and awful. I’m saying that having this disorder doesn’t automatically make you bad. There are people with BPD that are abusive and there are abusive people in every group. BPD takes a lot of work and therapy to manage, they should be encouraged to get help not demonized. If you do something bad you can’t blame the disorder you blame yourself that’s what I’m saying.
@rosie posie Have you ever considered that, “all of the borderlines I have ever known” actually means, the only BPD people who’ve had symptoms you can observe? Not a lot of people know i’m BPD, and they would probably say something like you. But it would be false. You meet people with all sorts of mental/physical diagnoses every day and have no idea because they’re just like everyone else.
BPD is so incredibly painful. Physically so, not just emotionally. But the emotional pain is something you can’t describe to someone who hasn’t experienced it. I feel so discouraged many days because it feels so overwhelming. Years of therapy with progress, but still so much to go and still so painful. Thank you for this video
That line really bothered me. Most often, people with BPD were victims of childhood abuse...at the hands of people who were not necessarily good people. That one line soured me, so trite and condescending.
@@reticull7035 she's just saying that we have to be careful with our judgements.. that BPD doesn't make a person bad, even though in some situations that's what it seems.. if a person is really bad, it's not from having a borderline personality disorder.
@@reticull7035 basically, people who do bad things to others.. intentionally. so, they use people for their own gain and don't care if their actions cause harm to others. most cases they do just to cause harm to them.. just because they think it's fun.
“I feel like no one loves me but you” My older sister said this to me once and it’s one of the most bittersweet things I’ve ever heard from her. I’m naturally a very compassionate person and have always given kind gestures, from making her a glass of cold water when she had to walk to and from work in the summer to showing her a cat compilation when she was in a bad mental state. When she was diagnosed I was one of the few people who wasn’t afraid but reached out now that I “get” her. I wish more people would understand the points mentioned, I couldn’t even imagine what it must feel like with the stigma on top of it all.
@@Psych2go You know that's a good question. Guess it all depends in what you believe in and what happens after. But they also say everything eventually ends right? That both good and bad things, eventually come to an end.
Man i feel the exact same way, i’m very good at connecting with people at first, but the moment i started really being friends with them i start to isolate because i’m so terrified of them leaving me or whatever and end up saying things i regret to try and keep them at somewhat of a distance
@@tarahendrickson1208 same here I lost my girlfriend because I got to paranoid over a long distance relationship. The only way I saw to get her back was trying to get more and more attention. I love her so much, but now I hate life
Funny that you said that since I heard a lot, that BPD is for lack of better therm a demon possesion. People with BPD are slowly crawling into your heart only to abuse you emotionally and physically. But nevertheless it is a serious condition. I know 1 person in my live with BPD and I wish I could be 1000 miles away from them lol.
@@TVManson how is it funny? And why is it necessary to add that. They’re someone with BPD saying that it’s not all there is to their person and that was kind of a dick move to say it’s funny they say that. If you’re not meaning it in a harmful way maybe look at your phrasing or don’t say anything
I have a friend with bpd and it's genuinely freaking hard being their friend and it starts to affect their own mental health. It hasn't affected mine yet but i fear it might. Nonetheless I'll stick with her as long as i can
The same thing happened to me. I know it’s my fault and I know I cut them off because I simply cannot trust people and fear that even the slightest things I do may make them abandon and so to avoid them leaving me, I leave them. You’re not alone :(
Me too :( and no one cares about me even though i care about everyone. Im tired of being treated like im not worth shit. I just want someone to care for that cares for me in return
As someone who was diagnosed with BPD in my early 20s (I'm 34 now), I just wanted to say things can get better! Things started to stabilize for me once I finally learned to treat myself with care. It's incredibly hard, but you can get there. It doesn't solve everything immediately, but try to learn from your episodes, and don't beat yourself up. Sorry - just wanted to share. Good luck and love to all of you.
That gives me a lot of hope. I got diagnosed only recently (I'm in my early 20s), it's been a scary and exhausting journey before as well as after the diagnosis. Thank you for sharing, it means a lot to me
I agree, mine has seemed to mellow out and things have gotten more stable for me. Only things I struggle hard with now is the paranoia, & binging really
I could remember several years ago, I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Was actually diagnosed with BPD. Not until my husband recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
YES sure of mycologist Predroshrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, addiction. Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
Thanks for sharing your story. That's rough I sympathize. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health. I will pray for you all.
I've been diagnosed with BPD and the comments are warming my heart. It's nice to know that people are watching this to help love, support and understand the people in their lives that they care about who have BPD. :)
My friend has BPD and I've been educating myself about it as much as I can to understand her more. I told her this today and she said that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for her because no one has ever taken the time to look into her like that and it honestly broke my heart. I love her with all my heart and soul and I care for her very deeply, I just wanted to learn so I can be a better friend and partner and to be there for her with more understanding of what she struggles with
@@pink_sky_morning4842 probably because it's a very common thing for a lot 'nice guy friends' to go out of their way to do something special when they are trying to date that person. Not saying that's the case here but it happens a lot so I get it
1. Fear of abandonment 2. Persistent & wide mood swings 3. Paranoid thinking 4. Emptiness 5. Impulsivity 6. Splitting 7. Trust issues 8. Risk factors for development can be environmental and/or inherited 9. Change in interests and values Hope this helps
Bpd has taken my life away. I got a degree and can’t work because of bpd. I tried therapy and it was working. I wouldn’t want anyone to go through this. Hope all of you are well!
BPD was on the fast track to ruining my life about 5 years ago but since then with the support of good friends and family I'm in a much better place and looking forward to a lot of things right now. Please don't lose hope, it gets so much easier to live with when you understand it and learn how to manage it.
This whole time I’ve been thinking my depression has come back but I truly believe it bpd now . The guilt I get for the strong hatred I sometimes get towards close people to me for the slightest errors . Even more the feeling of being empty and not understanding who I am for years on end :(
My partner revealed to me that he has BPD, and at first, I was concerned about it because I just didn't understand what it was. He needed constant reassurance of whether I loved him and had a fear of abandonment. We have been together for over 2 years and he has gotten better than when we first met. He's the sweetest man and learning more about what he goes through gave me a better understanding.
How are you coping with the abusive and disrespectful behavior of his? Are you trying to be emotionless just to pass through the anger stage? Has he physically abused you?
my dad has bpd and he’s a very loving, sensitive and kindhearted person. he gets so happy at the slightest sign of us caring about him. but it’s hard to see how much he struggles with his confidence, and when his bpd is bad he either guilt trips people or becomes very passive aggressive over the smallest things :( i wish he wasn’t struggling with this disorder
As someone who has bpd and grew up with a mom with bpd, self awareness will get you so far. I feel so stable here recently. It’s stayed consistent for a few months now. Always look at yourself first before placing blame. Think before you speak. Breathe. Exercise too. I go for walks/runs with my dog every weekend. My job involves moving and working up a sweat too. This helps me feel stable and gives me confidence in myself. Anyone who is in a toxic relationship with someone who has bpd, do not take blame repeatedly. Don’t stay if they never try self awareness. It’ll be war forever. Sorry if this offends anyone. But it’s the truth.
I’m living this, my wife has undiagnosed bpd.. every time I’ve confronted her about her issues she’s left me. She’s cheated, lied and lies about me physically abusing her. Blames everything on me when I have accepted so much. I keep praying she will come home but she acts like she hates me… I literally went from her best friend to hated over night.
@@derekwilliams9272 I’m so sorry to hear this. I know I don’t know everything about your relationship but I would suggest letting her go. Pray the hurt away. Pray the desperation to have her back away. It will get easier. Grow to learn who you are without her. You are important. You are your own person. Find him and you’ll never look back. When she comes back to you (because she will) explain to her why you will not go on like this. Let that hit her like a ton of bricks. That you’re the one in control of the dynamic now. You decide how you’re going to feel. Not her. That will turn her world upside down. She has no more control over you. That’ll burn so badly. I promise she’ll realize how fucked up she is. Just don’t spend your time worrying about it. Find you!
@@hollypocket6684 really think she will come back? I agree with moving forward with myself and letting time play out… but she’s my wife and I truly love her and don’t want our relationship to fall victim to bpd.
@@derekwilliams9272 I know her coming back is all you can think about. I’m sorry about that. If she cannot change after your ultimatum, yes you should let go for your own good. Life will get easier after her, I promise. Just stay with God and you’ll be okay. Pray away that gut wrenching feeling every time you remember what’s happening. Feel the grief but don’t dwell on it. And please do not be focused on her coming back to you. Just forget about it and do you. Don’t feed into it anymore.
Youre 100% correct. Im diagnosed BPD and didnt happen until i was 22 BUT with that diagnosis i was able to watch myself and figure out the appropriate times to react and to be as calm as posssible while reacting. Before i just thought i was care free, but i wasnt, i was manic. Now i can confidently say that im stable and confident the only symptom i cant seem to get around are the inrusive thoughts that usually cause splitting, to quiet them down i just listen to music constantly unless im home.
I’ve been diagnosed with bpd, but I have “quiet/hidden” bpd. I internalize everything and have been misdiagnosed as bipolar before bpd. it’s extremely exhausting, and I find myself tired at the end of the day even if I don’t do anything physical. it’s hard, and managing it all has been the most intense trial and error of my life. I’m so glad I have strong supports that understand what I’m going through and help me through it. I wouldn’t be alive without them. 💜
i’ve been thinking about trying to get diagnosed with bpd for a while now, but i wasn’t sure if i was just tricking myself into believing i could have it. this video has made me decide i’m gonna make a doctors appointment and speak to my GP to possibly get a diagnosis, thankyou so much. i’ll keep this updated
@@annab1807 same cause I’ve told my parents what I feel and they tell me I’m just thinking that. but this explained everything. I want to take that step
Me too.. i'm going tomorrow, like seriously this video is recommended out of nowhere when actually i was planning to meet doctor. Btw, how are you doing? (Sorry for my english)
been feeling this way for months and last night i finally snapped and realized i’ve had enough and i need to fucking do something about it. everyday is getting worse and worse
For people that don’t know, psychiatrists diagnosed Anakin Skywalker from the Star Wars franchise with BPD. Watching this video made me realize how many of these traits perfectly describe Anakin and has made me view his character in the prequels in a whole different light, while also helping me understand BPD more. It’s a shame people didn’t really understand or like his character when the prequels first came out.
As someone who's diagnosed with BPD, the best advice I can give to a person whether a friend or a partner to somebody with this illness, is to practice patience. Patience is key, above all else. It will not always be so reactive. Trust is scary, within time they'll learn to believe in you if you're patient with them.
You are so right, exactly that works in my case, if I see that somebody really cares about me, I remain loyal forever, and really make efforts to improve for a greater good.
As a person having been married to someone with BPD, the best advice I can give is: don't put up with all the shit. Don't accept erratic behavior, mood swings, violence etc. People with BPD tend to be very narcissistic and gravitate to themselves, not realizing the severity of their illness, thinking that the world is strange - not them. They need help and if they refuse to get it - leave. And for the love of God - don't have children until the illness is thoroughly under control.
@@adrian-vasilebud4444 When children bail out and cut all ties to a parent - a mother in this case - it's pretty severe. They - the kids - finally told her that she would never see them again. She never did.
@@ChefPelle Indeed when a person does not want to accept that has an out of control problem, creates situations that can not be undone, unfortunately for all involved. Of course, a lot of people use the fact that they have BPD, as an excuse to behave whitout concerns about the harm that they do against their closest ones, and they do not try to improve themselves, although they have complete discernment over their actions.
BPD for me has shown up like they said in my early adult hood. I struggle everyday and feel I am unlovable. It comes from the fact I was abused and neglected by my parents and sibling. I feel I am insane at times, because I get so mad over little things and later think back "wow that was very mishandled on my end." I just lost a relationship with the love of my life to due lack of trust, lack of constantly loving myself, and massive fear he was going to leave me like everyone else, and his mom would just hate me. Unfortunately I self sabotaged and made my fears happen. I am 5 days in and feeling like I literally don't have purpose and if im not someone someone wants, why continue. I black out when I get angry too or when I am so depressed I can't even focus. I am always "day dreaming" and just feel out of control. I've met all of these, but it feels good to know someone understands.
A summary if you don't want to watch the whole video: 1. Fear of abandonment 2. Persistent and wide mood swings 3. Paranoid thinking 4. Emptiness 5. Impulsivity 6. Splitting (in emotions) 7. Trust Issues 8. Risk factors for development can be environmental and/or inherited 9. Changes in interest or value
I was diagnosed with BPD in 2017. Back then it all of these things were really relatable. I've been through a lot of therapy since then and have calmed down so much. I can only slightly relate to a few of these things now. I still have my moments but they're far and few and life is no longer black and white for me. I'm grateful for how far I have come.
I was diagnosed with BPD and I’ve watched these videos so many times. Whenever I feel alone or like I’m the only one who suffers the way I do, these videos give me so much hope that I may get better one day.
I was to address that “splitting” has not only to do with b&w thinking. But it means that when we (borderliners) don’t got a hold on our emotions, we can say hurtful and bad things that we don’t even mean and want to say at first! We’ll have a feeling of remorse and shame afterwards..
This is exactly what my boyfriend does, he insult me so bad and after 30 min he said 10 times sorry and if I say I don't accept his apology then he insult me again , he does it until he give and realize what he did was very bad and then he calm down
I Suffered severe depression 18 years ago as a teenage, got addicted to cigarettes. Spent my whole life fighting Cigarettes addiction. I was actually diagnosed with cptsd and mental disorder. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
I'm so very happy for you, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Germany don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source🙏🏻
YES very sure of larymycology I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, BPD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
Mushrooms are very medicinal. This is why anybody familiar with psilocybin and any other kind of fungi will tell you, "They are alive." They have a very ancient wisdom. To my experience, all mushrooms have always said, "Pay attention to your life. How you think, how you feel, and what will you do with the information that you always knew, but now are seeing in this point of view." This is why mushrooms are so respected in tribal cultures. This mental health treatment works for me too. Half micro doses do the trick for me. At least a few days at a time with lengthy time in between. Never addictive. Thank you for sharing this point!
My boyfriend started reading the book “stop walking on eggshells” and it talks about those with BPD as if we are manipulative abusers, and it hurts. I wish he would understand the pain I feel everyday without demonizing me.
He just got the wrong book,my mother study some books called ,,I hate you - do not leave me(those that have BPD understand the title meaning)",,one called ,,Healing of the child from inside",and another one called ,,How to manage your emotions and regain your autocontrol",she is trying to understand this disorder that ruined my life over the years,In matter of humans that really loved me,I lost everything,except some close familly members.I wish you best of luck Emilly.I hope you will be able to explain him somehow,that deep inside,you need him all the time.And the worst thing that can make against you will be to leave.People whit BPD,get over over abandonment from their closest people very hard. And yes, people with BPD can be manipulative abusers, I did that a lot in the past, whit the people that I known for sure that they care about me, like my mother or former fiance. I knew that If I behave in a certain way, I will receive what I want from them, so there is a lot of discernment ivolved in the middle, because if was not that, then a lot of people will BPD will be looked up in mental institutions.
@@You-rg4ec Have you ever lived with somebody whit BPD?Is not easy at all,they have always the tendency,to behave extremely bad whit their most loved ones,I know from my own life.
@@adrian-vasilebud4444 These people talk like borderlines DON'T destroy the lives around them. It's baffling the amount of cover that exists for this. I categorize these people the same as I would anyone who ruins other's lives.
@@jamesdanton9033 Thanks for the support James,for some people is not easy at all to understand that people whit BPD or NPD,behave in a certain manner whitout doing that on porpouse,I can just look at my case,a insignificant thing like a song can make me excited at the extreme,like I want to get out from my body and fly,then after half an hour,I remeber something sad,and my moral gets under 0,after another half an hour again excited about something,after half an hour down again,is no wonder that people think that you act like this on porpouse,because if I will know nothing about BPD,and I will stay some time whit a person that change his mood so often,I will think to that is completely nut or he does that on porpouse,but of course this desorder does not stops just at mood swings, especially when you are in a relationship, you loose interest fast, you think something new is better, you have something new, than you consider that what you had in the past was better,even if you had two or three consecutive good different persons in your life,whit BPD,you can not stay doing nothing,when doing nothing is the best thing for you,you always must do something,good or bad for you,you just do it,because on the spot,you are just not able to not do (whitout a lot of menthal training from the achieved by yourself alone or with special help from a profesional), something that you realize that is bad,risky or whatever negative aspect fot you,even if you was before 10 times already that posture,and the ending was not as you expected,and you know,and you know your chances for a good ending now are very small,but you do it again anyway,the same when you ar talking whit your beloved ones or even strangers.
I have BPD, and my gf has been amazing with seeing it through my eyes and understanding without judgements. She always knows how to ground me in reality and remind me who I am and just how much she loves me. I'm sending her videos of more of the education side so she understands me more. What I couldnt do without that woman♡
This made me bawl like a baby… I was diagnosed with this about 5 years ago and I suffer from every single symptom of it and have been struggling since I was maybe 8. I will be sending this to my family so they can understand it better. Everyone loves to think I’m such a bad person but this is what I go through…
I hope you will come to a way of coping with living with it. It’s difficult for you and I’m happy you got diagnosed in an early age, I hope you got the help you deserve. You’re not alone at struggling with this. You are strong and you deserve happiness as much as anyone else does! I believe in you. I hope your family reacts well to you sending this informative video.
Thank you to all you beautiful people for your care and concern. As jaded and cynical as I get sometimes, I’m happy to know that there are still good people out there ❤️.
As 38 year old with BPD I can safely say I am still completely lost in life! From the outside I have a very successful life with a good job, house, cars, etc however this condition has taunted me from ever since I can remember. I have lost friends, family and now my Wife because of my inability to be "normal". It is amazing how quick people are ready to abandon you when you need help the most. The NHS seem unwilling to help and the numerous drugs they prescribe appear to do nothing for me.
One thing I hear that’s been working is DBT or dialectical behavioral therapy. Worth looking into for acceptance mind fullness and tools for emotional regulation
Im 34 and still feel lost. I have no idea what Im doing or want. I understand you completely. I have someone who tries very hard to keep me happy and I love them but it’s always the abandonment issue that makes me push them away.
I’m diagnosed with this and while watching the video my head started like: this is misleading, this is reductive, I’m not weak, I’m not an stereotype.... then I felt angry for no reason, and then boom, ten minutes later I’m laughing at it. Hopefully this comment won’t “haunt” me later. Yeah... that’s how being borderline is... but with therapy and medication and time and self love and support, it can be handle... don’t give up.
Yeah lol I was angry for a few seconds that one of the 9 things wasn't that most people who have BPD learn to manage it and live with it as they get older. Then reading the comments I got emotional reading everyone's stories, can't wait to see what comes next lol
I’m so happy that there’s more videos on bpd! I’m trying to get diagnosed soon and I really relate to the symptoms and want to be sure. (But) Thank you for spreading such positive and precious awareness that mental health needs.
I agree! The "favorite person" is a HUUUUUGE factor yet nobody ever talks about it. The "favorite person" goes through so much Hell, they should be mentioned.
I have multiple favourite people: the artists and actors whom I made into a surrogate family of role models because I didn't have parents who cared enough.
@@smallpotato5445 Right. So. Basically, there is one person in your life who you put on a pedestal above all else and will sacrifice your entire life and mental wellbeing for. But it can also mean that a) you spend your entire life in constant terror that this person whom is your only reason to keep going will abandon you, and b) this can mean that there is a lot of pressure on this person as we see them as all perfect, all knowing and can make no mistakes. This means that when they do make mistakes, because humans are fallible, some people can shift to not liking them for a few days because of the black and white thinking and the abandonment issues from past trauma. It is not uncommon for abusers or toxic people to be super nice before suddenly turning on you so this is something that is ingrained in them from childhood. Everyone will leave or hurt you at some point because you aren't worthy. Which is why I get so pissed when I see these people being like, "never date a borderline, they deserve to be alone" because it perpetuates the same message their abusers taught them as a kid. You may as well hand them a noose tbh, because that attitude stops people with BPD from seeking treatment and getting better. But that is a whole other rant for another day.
i stumbled upon this video because i wanted to know more all about mental illnesses and i just wanted to say that your voice is one of the most calming voices i have ever heard in my existence
The most points i can related to - Paranoid thinking & Trust issues (there's time when in junior high school , almost everyone is against me, And I'm not exaggerating it. I think this the time that i almost commiting suicide and developing split thinking from coping i think) - Emptiness almost all the time - change interested and value (from splitting, my behavior is become very extreme sides to sides. For example : -i believe in Human potential and I'm respected everyone regardless their age , gender or background (this is my childhood personality, I'm trying to be nice to everyone) In other side, - I don't trust any ounce of you ,and i seek every word that i can use to against you (for my safe rope) And I'm good at mimicking other people, sometimes i feel i don't even know myself, what things i like? What things i don't? The other me is polar opposite of me and that make me 'him' are not me, sometimes 'i' also fight the other me. Like debating because we have different values and perception. And I'm used to addressing myself as 'our' if 'he' and 'i' both agree at something.
Can we take a moment to appreciate all the amazing therapists, psychiatrists and doctors out there that help us with our mental health issues. My PA helped diagnose and regulate my BPD and I’m doing so much better than I ever have been.
For someone who suffers from BPD and Bipolar Disorder as well as working as a therapist I have to thank you for making this wonderful video, keeping facts without either glorifing people with the illness as victims nor judging them as bad people. One thing I'd love to see would be the key fact that every person with BPD can show different signs of this illness so it's really not that easy to find a overall solution for everyone the same. Stay strong and there's no shame in reaching out for help
I was diagnosed with bpd a year ago. One of my biggest issues has been splitting, I've gone from loving someone to completely hating them within a matter of minutes. Another thing that's made it worse over time is prejudice. People have often showed hate without even knowing me just because of my diagnosis. I am so grateful to you for educating people about bpd!! ❤❤❤
my mom has BPD. Until I watched this video I had no idea what BPD really was. I think now I know how to understand from my mom's perspective. I was so blinded by my own anger toward her that I never thought of how she felt. Hopefully, I can improve myself from here and on.
I'm a 50 year old with BPD and my life has been difficult to say the least. Although many of my negative behaviors that stem from BPD have improved as I've gotten older the core problems are still there. I was sexually abused as a child, bullied and teased by my siblings and classmates, and treated as though I was stupid and not good enough. To this day I am very sensitive when I feel people are dismissive of me or when I feel rejected or slighted. If someone perhaps even inadvertently make an offhand comment about me it can trigger intense anger and then I feel guilty later for overreacting to the situation. There's an old saying about BPD that's spot on which is "if you gently prick the skin of a person with BPD they will bleed all over you.' It's a major challenge managing the emotional dysregulation that comes with this condition.
for most it is a result of Multiple Traumas & a survival mechanism. but i do believe those of us with it are naturally susceptible. no traumas, or the appropriate support/parenting & no BPD. Trauma & lack of support/help/understanding/acceptance & ur fucked.
I wonder if there will ever be a time for a sufferer to not care what others say or do to them? I’m seeing that it’s a common trigger for them. I’m quite sure my mother had it now, looking back
As someone who was recently diagnosed BPD I have a hard time understanding myself and telling my close ones how I feel so I sent them this video because it greatly explains me. I try everyday to control myself and get better by understanding and your videos help greatly along with my therapy. Thank you for being so informative and accurate!
Thank you for this video! I just watched it. I was diagnosed in 2016 when I was 22, but it's assumed I have had since I have been basically 10-11 due to symptoms I have shown at that age... I'm glad to do therapy for since then, DBT to be exact. I can only urge people to seek a therapist/doctor to get it possibly diagnosed and seek out for help. It makes it so much easier. Yes, sadly many doctors/therapists might turn you away, as some do not want to treat people with BPD, but if you look up things like DBT it'll make it easier to find a therapist fitting for BPD.
I have severe BPD that, although it's gotten better with age, seriously interferes with my daily life. However, I've also been happily married for 10 years. BPD is not a hopeless curse. It's important to be aware of your symptoms and how the disorder uniquely presents within you and do your best to minimize those symptoms. It takes A LOT of internal work and transparency with yourself and others. The second half of the equation is to find stable support. You can be happy and loved with BPD. Hang in there, everyone.
i got diagnosed with BPD at 14, (which I'm now learning was really young) but this has been one of the most helpful videos that I can send to friends and family so they can understand what I go through. It's always difficult to explain when someone just asks or I don't have the right words to use. but this.. this is helpful
I’ve been in a relationship with a BPD woman for 3 years, until she broke up with me all of a sudden, telling me she wasn't in love anymore. She decided not to give me any other explanation about it but barely commenting “it is what it is”. So yeah, definitely not easy to overcome such trauma, even if it's caused by a person who suffer from a hard disorder to live with
I feel like I can somewhat relate. I've managed to cut off contact from my past relationships since the only thing I feel toward them is doubt and that brings stress. I've given up on friendship and relationship and I'm fine with just working hard to earn big money. As long as I take care of myself and send money to my parents I don't think I need to fulfil any other purpose and I'm fine with that.
That’s how I feel smh that’s why keeping money is so important to me because I NEVER want to depend on ANYBODY ! Sometimes I think to myself and say “ I might be alone forever but at least I’ll have money” if I had to choose I rather have money than have people who are just gonna get bored and tired of me anyways smh it’s really sad but I feel like it’s my reality
It’s really comforting to see all the comments about friends and loved ones saying how they still love and care for the person with bpd, makes me feel like there’s hope and maybe we don’t always have to be alone
This pretty much sums up everything that I feel and was recently diagnosed with Bpd , ocd, panic disorder and clinical depression. It's draining and crippling at all times. Feel like this kind of video the only one truly understands me on a deeper level.
I just talked to my psychiatrist and she rediagnosed my bipolar with BPD. It makes perfect sense to me and that feeling hit hard. I’m going through an insane mood swing/panic attack right now but seeing these comments doesn’t make me feel so alone. I have a true gentle mental and I’m glad that others do too. We are rockstars no matter what. I know I can get tame this beast
A borderline suffers a kind of emotional hemophilia; [s]he lacks the clotting mechanism needed to moderate [his or her] spurts of feeling. Stimulate a passion, and the borderline emotionally bleeds to death.
Diagnosed with BPD, used to have a Favourite Person for 9 years. This person abandoned me in January, I'm still grieving. It's been the most painful thing I ever experienced. We should talk more about what a FP is and how does it feel to have one - or lose one, which is even worse
Omg guys, I can't believe how all of you are so positive! I have the exact same situation - abandoned me before New Years and it was almost 7 years. You wrote 3 months ago that you still grieving, now it's almost 6 months and I feel like it's getting worse than before, like if I don't get them back I'm gonna die... All of you wrote about the FP thing and "there is only one person for us" mentality and I just can't believe y'all feel the same way as me, it's so true but the worst part is I don't know what to do with it! I can't even go to work, he left me alone with everything, mother is a nightmare, I have nothing... Therapy is expensive and I don't wanna change my mind I only want him, everything you wrote is so true but I don't know what to do about it😭
Did they abandon you or did your actions have consequences? Every person with BPD claims to have been "abandoned" when in reality their ill behavior causes people to not want to be around them. My sister, for instance, is a miserable human being and when I went no contact she claims I "abandoned her" to other without fully disclosing the absolutely bonkers behavior she displayed. Enough victim mentality.
I cant look in the mirror, I dont recognize my own face. My arms and legs dont feel like they're mine. It's an exhausting mental illness, I experience true neutral (nothing, and calm, but unstable and easilly triggered) extreme anger, and happiness comes to me as it's own personality disorder and presents as involuntary age regression. It stems from neglect. I lacked attention as a kid, and then was homeschooled, and now I'm just lacking in all the social skills I should have by now. You're not alone. If you're reading this, I'm here for you. I get you, I'm proud of you. It's so difficult and it's important to be gentle with yourself when you suffer thus illness.
It took extreme patience and unrelenting support from my family, but I've been successfully treated for BPD. BPD is a nightmare to suffer through, so anyone who has BPD and is struggling please know treatment is available. My life has improved so much and (aside from the insane reality we currently live in) is stable. It was really hard to get to this point and it took years, but I'm so glad I got where I am now. It's something you have to maintain, find the right treatment team, and identify when you need to use coping skills, but it's possible.
I’ve had symptoms of bpd for awhile and now that I’m officially diagnosed with it feels as if it’s all clear to me now. Thank you for making this video because bpd in my eyes is one very misunderstood disorder and gets confused with bipolar disorder. So thank you so much for making they video..
I can attest to this, I was in Dialectical behaviour therapy for 10 long years, and today finally I can say it paid off, it is not easy, but we do get better and it can be managed with understanding and learning to live with it yourself and understanding what your triggers are. Your significant other also plays a key role in your road to "recovery"...
You just hit every defining characteristic of my BFF. “I Hate You! Don’t Leave Me”, was the best book I was able to find on the Topic. It can be very frustrating to deal with a lot of self-pity and negativity, but NOT giving in to childish tantrums helps. I find that once they are ready to admit how they are feeling and why they are acting out in a particular way, the guilt comes out, the forgiveness is given, but they can’t forgive themselves. It’s LOVE or HATE. They have difficulty separating the person from the behaviour. I will say, “When you do THIS, it makes me feel sad.” The counter offer is automatic defence, paranoia and distancing/ isolating. Until they grasp the fact that the person can be sad or angry at something they did, not the person themselves. I can be mad at you for a certain behaviour, but still love you, the person. We all make mistakes. God teaches us forgiveness. I’m not God by any stretch of the imagination. But I can still try to best comfort an upset person with BPD while not needing to “fix”them or their situation. Rather, just be there to listen and make space in your own life for them.
thank you for your words.. i hope i have a person like you around me now who can give a comfort even just a little or the people who care to me that can talk to me. i don't know if i have this BPD thing but i just want that the people around me really care about me, even if the signs of it just a little so that i can know about their sincerity is real. thank you:') 😢
This is so beautiful. I realize how I used to do this ALL the time. But therapy really helps. I really do not feel this as bad as before. It's a process. Thank you for seeing it! I hope the person with BPD in your life appreciates your kindness. It's so nice to find people like you :)
Hej. I am BPD person myself yet I am very different. I was diagnosed multiple times because I couldn't believe it. I wasn't aware how widely spread the diagnosis is. I am very focused on others and let myself rott in a corner. I live via their emotions and reactions, I can't feel any emotions myself (which is very odd to some people being related with BPD) I overshare (forcing connection), get in debts very easily (mostly due to buying presents for others) and eat less (selfharm), I don't feel my boundaries either. I still don't believe myself having BPD. I only have few in common with these stereotypes, which is enough to get misunderstood and being put in the same drawer apparently. Emotional difficulties can vary very strongly, not only overreaction and mood swings. Thanks for reading all of this! I want to show varieties in diagnosis and bring awareness! Please make sure not to stigmatise ♡ have a lovely day ~
As someone diagnosed with bpd i am so glad and happy you informed people in this beautiful way, hopefully we will get understood a bit more and can learn to cope with it better on daily bases
I’m the friend who got cut off by the friend with BPD. It was very sudden and heartbreaking. Looking back, the entire relationship was very unstable and exhausting. I watch videos like these to help educate myself and move on. I do not plan on ever being their friend again but being informed helps with the immense hurt and heartbreak.
I cut a friend that I really cared about two weeks ago. That is what I usually do ,cutting people off in my head or stop caring and giving a shit about what they are doing which I later realized is a way to protect myself against imaginary abandonments or because I was seeing the world in total white or total black. However this time I cared about this person so much that I couldn't just get away with it. I reviewed everything until I figured my behaviours where coming from the fear of abandonment cause by my BPD. At the moment I blocked her I was doing the right thing in my head and she was the bad guy. I feel so horrible now, I cannot even explain how bad it feels to know that I failed to control my emotions again and let people down. I wish she gets to read this one day.
@@rominaniksirat5123 you should really reach out to them❤️ it will help both of you move on and if you fully apologize they might understand and forgive you, although they also have the right to move on alone. I totally relate to impulsively wanting to block even my bestest of friends when my mind goes dark, learning to separate your thoughts and realize that’s the bpd speaking is helpful
I’m really sorry to hear it’s always so hard to lose a friend💖, bpd can make relationships very difficult and confusing. Sometimes splitting can occur or impulsively trying to push everyone away, but regret always comes with it. Proud of you for learning and moving on!! Hope you have many beautiful friendships to come
My whole life i've had moments where i was scared of being alone by myself (especially in my house), black and white thinking, self destructive behavior, and sometimes i have to go and remind myself that i am my own person because sometimes i don't recognize myself. And you aren't alone in this situation.
My best friend has BPD. She's one of the warmest, kindest, most creative people I've ever known...and she can also be volatile and a little exhausting. She feels things in extremes. When she's happy she's endlessly creative and funny; when she's hurting she's a live wire. She's not the easiest person to be friends with, but I wouldn't trade her friendship for anything in the world.
That is so beautiful 🥺not everyone is willing to put through our mood swings but thank you for being there for her... I know it's not easy
You're an absolute peach! A lot of us understand that we're not the easiest people to put up with sometimes, so when we meet someone who is willing to put in the effort, even if we don't feel deserving of them, we appreciate them with all of our hearts for sticking by us through the highs and the lows. ♥️
😭😭😭😭😭 I love you for this comment
@Bradley Walton I hope you can get the help you need! A correct diagnosis can be a lifesaver in a lot of ways. Wishing you the very best of luck 😊
Thank you for not giving up on us (people with bpd)
having bpd is literally a nightmare. to feel emotions so intensely and have suicidal thoughts from a small trigger is exhausting. Our anger is so intense we do impulsive shit we don’t mean to, then get extra guilty and depressed. I’ve had it since I was 15. To a borderline something small can be the end of the world. Don’t self diagnose by watching these symptoms, go to a doctor this is pretty serious shit that takes lives everyday. And for all of you that can’t afford a doctor, focus on your symptoms instead of labeling yourself. Do a lot of research. Self-diagnosis might do more harm than good since bpd symptoms overlap with other mental illnesses. Take care :)
People dont understand why we are angry """all the time""", or lat least for me people always said that im so weak because i feel so bad with something little... They never understand
Yikes y’all... I’m diagnosed with bpd but I do not get angry. That’s how your experience is, let’s not group everyone the same.
shit man, you like perfectly described it, i feel almost exactly the same. i was diagnosed with it when i was 13, but i showed signs before then and i remember feeling like a fucking demon. i’m glad there’s other people out there that know the struggle, i’m glad i’m not alone. take care of yourself.
@@Trollestiatumblur same here, there’s something called hidden bpd where your intense emotions get bottled up and it turns into self-hatred, psych2go made a video on it, it made me feel like less of a weird borderline, so if you feel like that, i recommend the video to you
Laughs in British
BPD makes my life extremely hard, i lash out easily, isolate myself, and get paranoid at the smallest things
I dont have it, or rather I dont know enough yet to say that and cant get help from a professional, but I hope you some day get the help you need
I’ve learnt to control my emotions a bit better and I only lash out at my mom mostly 😌
U arent alone.
Me to
does bpd people having a hard time maintaining friendship or relationship Im just curious ?
As someone with BPD (quiet subtype) I can tell you this has ruined every relationship I've ever had, mostly romantic, but some friendships too. Now I isolate because it feels safer. It is a very lonely existence.
Same here.
❤
And it is exhausting ..
Yo really late but I suffer from the same thing (quiet BPD subtype) and I've ruined so so many relationships and I still am and still will but isolating I promise only makes you feel worse, you need to get out there and make connections. Maybe we have more unstable relationships but that doesn't mean that every single one will be or that we don't deserve human connection because of it. My bf understands very little of BPD and he is the most stable and best relationship I have ever had. You have to take the risk of losing people and man it hurts like hell but I promise when you find that person, you wont regret everything it took to get there. I'm here if you need anything!!!!
Same here.
Something that wasn't mentioned is the chameleon effect. People with BPD can have tendencies to adopt other people's behaviors and lose track of who they are or how they thought about things before. They can then become paranoid thinking they are being controlled. It's a very strange interaction if you don't know that they have a disorder.
Omg 19 years of my life feeling like this
It’s in the DSM 5 criteria as unstable sense of self.
@@ileensaravia6427 is it a feeling that comes and goes or is it permanent?
@@userm180 permanent, i always have to second guess, rethink every situation out or have to reask myself if i really feel what im feeling.
@@ileensaravia6427 im sorry about that :/ is there any treatment u can get?
My gf has bpd and im trying to understand her the best i can
It’s hard but she probably loves you very much. It’s not her fault, it’s how her brain in wired.
Aww that’s really sweet and it makes me really happy to hear when someone is really trying to understand someone they know who has an illness/mental illness 🥺
I think that you’re a great boyfriend for doing that for her
Make sure you set boundaries though.
It’s so hard. That’s why I’m here too. It’s not their fault but we need support ... it’s draining.
I feel that the worst thing is becoming "that anoying person who gets angry at everyone" and then get excluded
Same 🤦🏽
That's me
Happens to me all the time , it fucking sucks
... hurts to even read it, happens all the time
@@mayakhaled1712 we can heal
As someone who suffers with extreme severe anxiety I can totally relate to her. I would stop eating for days at a time as a punishment. I worry a lot about my life, everyone around me and pleasing everyone. It's absolutely crippling, so glad she got the help she needed, lovely young lady it's so sad that society has 1 in 3 people suffering mental health issues. I hope everyone seeks help
People need to realise that people with anxiety disorders have oversensitised nerves, it's not a simple case of manning up and getting over it.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about how mushrooms and psychedelics treats anxiety, but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, doctor Greg mushroom I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
Please, how do I reach doctor Greg?
Is he on the internet?
people with BPD are often misunderstood and mislabeled as "crazy". thank you for sharing this, hopefully we can all understand each other a little better with these videos.
Yes, we hope these videos can help promote awareness.
agreed
We are a very misunderstood group.
Yea and it doesn't help that in movies the person with BPD is always the crazy ex-girlfriend or the crazy girl trying to get this one boy and willing to kill for it..
media portrays us very poorly, but i also feel like the people that end up having a platform that have bpd have self diagnosed themselves or end up further stigmatizing the disorder
My partner has BPD and after a lot of therapy (before we met), she feels she has a pretty decent handle on coping with it. Sometimes she still needs to hear me reassure her of my feelings and intentions. And sometimes a mood swing will catch us off guard, but we carefully work through it together. If you have BPD, your life can get better and you can have healthy, fulfilling relationships. Please don't give up.
Thank you so much for your supportive and encouraging message
I know your intentions are good but the BPD in me can say stfu what do you know and don’t be so patronising to tell me not to give up… I’ve lived like this for 30 years. That’s the black and white thinking cas on another day I’d say your g/f is so lucky to have you and your clearly empathetic.
That is the joys of splitting…. I know your intentions are good, no offence, I’m just using your comment to show the craziness that is BPD.
(And your g/f is very lucky to have you!)
This is just the best comment and it gives me so much hope. Thank you.
your comment brought tears to my eyes, thank you for sharing this and thank you on behalf of your partner for being such a steady, understanding and caring presence for her.
My boyfriend and i have worked together through it and like you said still struggle sometimes. Its nice to hear a good similar situation. Sometimes i still panic when I realize ill have this mental illness forever
The way I picture BPD is that your mind is split. Your constantly trying to figure out what you feel about things, and when you think you have an idea you mind decides to flip on you and you feel the complete opposite. It feels like my mind is shattered into different pieces and there constantly changing.
It’s exhausting.
I overthink EVERYTHING because of it.
I drive people crazy because I lose my shit one minute and then I feel sooooo awful and apologize like crazy.
Excellently put! Totally identify with you
Totally true! It's like I cannot make a decision and the moment I do, my mind starts cross questioning. And there I go submerge my head into self doubt and paranoia.
@@ruchaj1748 it's a huge struggle in life we have to deal with and can take years to slowly figure out, if ever. I hope you and everyone else can figure your journeys and struggles out. As hard as it may be to believe, peace can be achieved and I hope you find it someday.
YES
My girlfriend has BPD, and we've been together for almost 3 years. Sadly, I never fully understood how to be a support, and that has caused our relationship to become unstable. But here I am, watching this video to be able to have a healthier relationship for both of us. I hope it's not too late, I love her
What do you do when she is very mad and yelling at you because of her mood swings? Do you have any suggestions?
@hippieflower Oh ok thank you, ill do that
More hugs more I love yous more often. 💗
these replies... they're so wholesome 😭 i literally have most, if not all the symptoms of BPD, the weirdest thing is that when I was way younger i used to have most, if not all signs of ASPD which doesn't make sense. im so confused.
I wish my boyfriend would have done the same for me. He always said he would inform himself and work WITH me but in the end he just accepted me aprubtly ending the relationship,.......
"cut contact with others to protect themselves" yes that's me
I feel like it’s best to just be alone lol
Yes me to
yep. i will hate a job so much that i quit without notice to get out and protect myself in the moment. two weeks later i’m full of guilt and regret because i’m broke. then i beat myself up about it.
Aside from many of the symptoms listed, my sister cut contact with her entire family about 12 years ago over nothing, literally. The strange thing is that we all live within a 10 mile radius of each other and often see her in different places with no interaction on her part. Both our parents have passed away in that time span and she didn't acknowledge either of them.. we have always been a close family, so this was /is extremely difficult for us to comprehend. We had no falling out or argument or hard feelings.. she simply cut us ALL out one day, just like that. It's been very painful to understand and we've made many attempts to reach out with no cooperation on her part. Very strange disorder.
I cut contact when I find flaw in ppl. Like they do mistake or hurt me (unintentionally). I just change myself so much so that ppl will stay with me and like me. I give too much then expect same from them. And what not. So yeah I do this. It comes to a point questioning myself that should I follow my gut instincts about them or should I be totally fine with their behaviour and following their rules.
If you’ve been diagnosed with BPD you are not alone❤️
Yet alone im real life.....
@@vito3510 me too probably
Yes we are.. alone in torment
Shaking your virtual hand and giving a hug. We indeed are not alone 🌸💙
I may not be, but I wanna be.
As someone who has BPD, I can confidently say that this alone has ruined a lot of relationships/bonds w people in general for me. It isn't easy but with the help of therapy and antidepressants (cus i have a whole slue of mental things going on) I'm getting better. If I can do it, so do you. Stay strong
Reach out to the name on my channel above 👆🏼 he got me psychedelics that cured me
I'm glad your doing better! I think that maybe I have a mental disorder but I'm gonna have to reach out to someone for a full diagnosis. I've been diagnosed with mild depression and anxiety, and I think it's important that I reach out to someone who can help so nothing gets worse.
And my sister may have bipolar disorder so it could be that.
@@AngryZukoHere I highly recommend that you seek the help you want/need. Getting started on your healing journey will do so so much for you. I truly hope the best for both you and your sister. Take care
@@Noffilus Thank you 😊
Yes, same here. I lost some friends over the years...relationsgips were ruined...that hurts...
4:31 Most BPD specialists make it clear that while theoretically BPD may have a genetic basis, in their careers they have not encountered a single case where there was not also a traumatic childhood event or events, or a whole lot of neglect. So, in practice, every BPD is a severely injured child who has grown up.
Shoutout to all my fellow bordercups trying to educate themselves about their condition. You’re on the right path to improving mental health.
I've never heard the phrase bordercup used before, but it honestly just made my day lol
@Digby Dooright it sounds like a brand for a menstrual cup...
@@trapcounty4648 then that's totally fine too, you're still trying to educate yourself with the intent of improving your mental health ^^
Hell yes! Bordercup, I love it. My new self descriptor 😎
its so fucking tiring though lol.
It’s like being trapped in a mind and body that you don’t even understand yourself. It’s exhausting
I described it as being in a mental fight with myself and getting my ass kicked!
It is so so so sucky I'm with ya.
Yes yes. It is. Every day.....I know they say things will heel wen you loose ur child and mom .but omg it still hurts.
exactlyyy
exhausting!!!!!!!!
*9 Things You Need to Know About BPD*
*1.* Fear of abandonment 0:57
*2.* Persistent and wide mood swings 1:16
*3.* Paranoid thinking 1:48
*4.* Emptiness 2:16
*5.* Impulsivity 2:52
*6.* Splitting 3:22
*7.* Trust issues 4:00
*8.* Risk factors for development can be environmental and/or inherited 4:26
*9.* Change in interest and values 4:55
thanks for the video! 💛
xoxo -Gossip Girl thank you.
Thankss
** 2. 1:16
Chantelle Rutherford my bad, thank you!
thanks!
I have BPD. When I went for a "formal" diagnosis for it, I explained the symptoms I have, and detailed how I met all nine criteria for the disorder. After an exhaustive battery of tests, the psychologist "ruled out" BPD. He determined I knew too much about the disorder, and "exaggerated" my test results. The test wasn't just for BPD, but also ADHD, which he also ruled out for the same reason. We are expected to be completely ignorant of the disorders that plague us. I studied psychology in college, was married to a licenced counselor, and spent many years in therapy. For me to be ignorant of my particular disorders is not possible, and for me to be expected to act ignorant of them just to receive an "official" diagnosis (even though I was already diagnosed from my therapist and her supervising psychologist) is absurd. I hope none of you have had the experience of being nullified by psychiatric "professionals" as I have . If your overwhelming symptoms are "ruled out", do not despair. Not all professionals have the ability to lack bias in their practice.
Thank you, this really isn’t said enough!!
Diagnosing psychologists tend to have an ego that hinders people's access to mental healthcare and wellness which is absolute bullshit although doesnt mean people should self-diagnose. I had to get a 2nd psychologist that was referred through my therapist the 2nd time to get a real assessment for ADHD. I went through my PCP the first time who I had to push to get a referral from because she said I didnt have it because I didnt have bad grades at the moment and therefor I didnt need treatment. That's bullshit too. 2nd guy was awesome tho.
Well said ❤️❤️
This is exactly why I do not nor will never trust or support doctors. There are a few good ones but the entire medical industry is corrupt as hell and a lot of the things going on are incentivized by the insurance companies so you do not get proper care and people get to continue to sell you stuff you do not need.
I will fight anybody that says self-diagnosing is not okay.
It is perfectly fine Just do it correctly and make sure you are studying the DSM-5 and doing mass amounts of research not just watching one video and deciding oh I have a disorder which is Just as ridiculous as all these doctors pushing stupid things or misdiagnosing people multiple times.
I did an intake for a psychiatrist for my adhd and she said idk I think you have something else like bpd which yes finally someone acknowledged it. But I went to the psychiatrist and he doesn’t believe in labels -.-
My fiancé had BPD but we figured it too late and he didn’t survive his drug habit. My relationship with him was the best and worst relationship of my lifetime. He was a beautiful soul and had so much left to do in life. His son and I miss him everyday. Do not take this lightly if you or loved one are in this situation. Please seek help before it’s too late. Do not give up! You are worth it.
Im so sorry for your loss.
Oh thank you so much! He is deeply missed, and we will see him again one day. One thing I do know for certain... our souls never die. He came to me in a lucid dream, giving me so much love and hope❤️💫
I'm really sorry for your loss. I think my partner is dealing with me in the same way. I was currently diagnosed with BPD and it's really hard for both of us. He's trying to be patient and I'm trying not to take it out on him, even when it's too much. And the thought of hurting him is one of the few things that sometimes keeping me for hurting myself too. I feel you 🌠
Its painful reading this and thinking, this is probably how my fiancee feels. I need to get a life and get better.
I hope you and your son are OK, I bet his dad would have loved him so much. I am so, so sorry if I am out of line to say that.
I am trying to beat drugs and BPD too.
As someone with BPD, I really relate to fear of abandonment, mood swings, trust issues and emptiness.
Hello people from the future!
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hi
Hello.
As a man with BPD, getting more awareness out about this disorder feels so important. It's more than just "sociopathy in women". It's an actual distinct mental illness that requires a very delicate approach to deal with.
What is that approach?
@@zeah the stereotypes do a lot of harm.
Women get diagnosed quite easily with bpd and men are underdiagnosed. As well as men get diagnosed easily with adhd and women are underdiagnosed and/or misdiagnosed.
Those arrogantly formed stereotypes in society as in "women are crazy" & "men/boys can't focus and are all over the place" being normalized make life really hard for us.
my psychiatrist told me i may have a possibility of BPD, but I have ADHD which makes it really difficult.
like it's possible to have both, but that's so difficult to diagnose, and i'm scared i might have BPD.
@@Noel_Wood I have both, and I go through therapy a lot. BPD is usually trauma related, which is very common for people with adhd because of how invalidated their disorder is. Not everyone who has adhd had BPD and vice versa, but is definitely not uncommon either.
@@terhisomersalo8588 sadly it’s because there are also many women who are fakers and women are more likely to fake a disorder for attention than men. It’s also because generally men are less likely to seek help for problems to begin with and understandably because there is a higher chance they won’t be taken seriously. I would know from personal experience when I was literally told I’m not allowed or supposed to have suicidal feelings or depression.
the fact that no one knows who I really am makes me depressed. and by everyone that means me too
I feel this. The unstable self is one of the worst symptoms imo.
I know... I got diagnosed with depression 3 years ago, but it turned out to be bpd. It's confusing, even for us. Separating your mental disorder from you as a person is probably one of the hardest things you'll ever do, but it's so worth it. You aren't your bpd. I know every mood swing feels like a tsunami, but that's okay. Keep going love
same
Me too.. my boyfriend questions my honesty a lot😪
i really felt the last line, it feels like i dont know myself and my emotions and how to handle them, just feels empty
I have BPD and it’s definitely a struggle, reality for me looks way different for you. I’m consistently tired and talked down to, labeled as crazy, and forgotten about because people don’t want to be around the crazy guy.
I feels. Being a bit unstable and impulsive doesnt make us crazy. We feel things strong af
I’m with you... my sister called me an attention seeker after i opened up about my condition. Its like im always wrong either way unless i do things their way 🤷🏻♀️
Hi...could you really elaborate on BPD...I'm trying to self diagnose 🤭
Hugs. You’re not alone 🌸💙
with YANKEH I wouldn’t try to self diagnose tbh you can talk to someone about your symptoms which would be smarter in my opinion
To all my brothers and sisters out there with this disorder. Acceptance is key. I have lived with BPD my whole life and I've now stopped fighting it. It's who I am. I am everything this video suggests. Am I ashamed? Not at all. I know I'm a sensitive and caring person, who always puts others first. May the stars shine brightly on you all!
thank you for your true words. My partner and I both are living with BPD and we accepted each other like we are from moment one. It is not always easy but being sensitive and putting others first is also the key to why it is working the way it is. May understanding find you all - love N
i hope you have an amazing day :)
I’m everything this video describes too but was never diagnosed with Bpd. I always thought it was social anxiety.
I’m the same way I’m very self aware just so concious I always feel alone and my girl has it but she doesn’t admit to it like I do she’s in denial of her bad ways so she won’t change I’m aware of who I am so it’s easy for me to not do certain toxic things I can always kids stop myself before I do something stupid in my relationship bcuz I’m one of those people I won’t argue unless I’m right if I’m wrong I’ll say I’m wrong but my girl can’t say she’s wrong not once in a year and a half will she say she was wrong for something
@@Dr.J.Kelleytv Maybe because society today really frowns upon being less than perfect. Keep modeling how to take ownership of your mistakes and apologizing when applicable. She just might come around. Let her know you love her no matter what.
Two of my childhood best friends had BPD. Unfortunately, earlier this year, we lost her. If ur someone that has BPD, and ur thinking about doing something u shouldn't, please don't. I wish I could've told her that I loved her one last time. Told her how there's still more steps to take, more things to try out that could help some of it. So if ur here, reading this, and you have it. This is your sign. You're meant to live. You're meant to survive this, trust me, you've got it in you, you really, TRULY do. I love you, to the ends of this world and back. I think I may struggle w BPD or something w similar symptoms, besides my diagnosed ADHD. I say that to tell you: Idk wtf I do or don't have, but I do know life is dog shit a lot of the time. But some day, you'll get to choose how you want to live it, everything decided by you, meaning you might be able to find ways to cope, find small ways to make your days brighter, and make those bad days less frequent. I believe we can do it. You AND me. But you've got to trust me, I cannot stress this enough; the "easy way out" isn't a way out of it at all. That's way less than what you deserve out of life. WAY less. You may find urself to be unstable and unpredictable, but then again, so is the beautiful universe out there. It's dark and twisted and complicated. But from what I understand about it, and from what I've seen from pictures out there, it's also absolutely beautiful. So don't do anything harmful to yourself dear; we're not even close to being done w learning about the universe, we've barely seen anything, so why do you think this is all there is to and for you?:)
you’re such a beautiful person… more power to you and the kindness you have in you
i cried reading this thank you have a beautiful day ❤
Thank you ❤
i cried a lot while reading this, thank you for your kind words 🥺💖
i don’t know who you are, or where you came from, but to me tonight- you’re my angel. thank you so much for writing this message, words will never express how much gratitude i have towards you in my heart right now. just thank you so much. please keep spreading your beauty to this earth ❤
My soon to be ex wife has BPD. I did all the counseling and classes books, ect to try and better myself. When she was diagnosed I watched videos on BPD and the such to educate myself. To avoid triggers, always reassuring, not engaging the outburst. I still got sent to jail for doing nothing except love her and try to sort through BPD with her. She would call police during outbursts and me being a big man always took the fall. Even if I wasn't the outbursts target. I am facing more jail time yet because of BPD unregulated in her life. She has done little to help herself with this disorder. She is a great, loving, kind, and a perfect wife, except BPD. I don't blame her I blame BPD and the trauma that as caused it I know she didn't mean it and can't control it. I love her so much. The love of my life!!!! BPD has taken most my family and friends from my life. Has taken my freedom, and self worth away. I just can't do it anymore!!!! If I stayed suicide was my next option. I had to leave which I know is abandonment, and a big trigger. I miss her so much, but my life can't take it any longer. I cry as I type these words for what bpd has taken from me. I need help. I hope sharing this helps others, because all of the other comments don't. It's like listening to a mellow BPD episode. It's sad, I'm sad. I feel like the only one out there with these troubles.
I’m so sorry about this.
I'm so sorry about this and I want you to know you are a hero in my book for sticking it out as long as you did. I have BPD and often feel attacked by my family when they haven't actually done anything wrong. It's hard to have false memories and experiences but that doesn't mean our love ones deserve to face consequences for things they didn't do! Hopefully she will get therapy so she can heal and learn to adapt and be in a healthier state. Till then it is better for you to put boundaries and distance. Also find healthy relationships and people in your life. I also recommend therapy/counseling for you. That is a heavy burden you have dealt with a trained professional with understanding of BPD and what the families go through will be able to help you heal and make this an easier process! I wish you all the best!
this may sound unkind but you should have left sooner. you cant "fix" someone else. and you cant remove a disorder from someone.
@@cridow he's probably meaning for her to get support and a better understanding of herself and her condition. Obviously in timr managing her condition. I wouldn't jump to what you've just said. Especially how much he's been through. That is unkind.
Keep yo head up playa
Nine things about BPD you need to know:
1. Fear of abandonment
2. Persistent and wide mood swings
3. Paranoid thinking
4. Emptiness/drug use
5. Impulsivity
6. Splitting (id. no middle ground, very high or very low
7. Trust Issues
8. Risk factors for development can be environmental and/or inherited (childhood trauma starts in early adulthood)
9. Change in interest and values
@@willnicholson18 LMFAO
@@willnicholson18 my mother has borderline personality disorder I live over 2 hours away there's a reason for that. It was unbearable to grow up in that household. She has the essence of Amber Heard but is also dangerous to others. She refuses to get help. I sent her a mother's Day card and a text and now she's playing that she never received it or is acknowledging it because she wants her way in her way is to get me on the phone directly so she can lash out at me because she's having a bad day. I sent her a follow-up text after she left the voicemail saying she needed to talk to me I told her to text me no response again. The only way I can communicate with her is through email and texting. Every time I have a conversation with her I can count on one thing she'll rip me apart and make me feel bad and try to make me feel that it's all my fault. You know what she also has never told a lie or been dishonest in any way. Yeah she's a real Mary Poppins
@@willnicholson18 💀
@@alisarsour8552 im really sorry ab that. hope youre ok
Also, having and relating to all of these things does not mean you have BPD. I encourage people to NOT diagnose themselves with BPD just because they can relate to the condition. Always get a professional diagnosis. This comment is not for anyone in particular. Just a generalized comment, because people online have a habit of jumping to conclusions.
I’m glad that there is more information now about BPD without categorizing us as crazy or abusive. You can be a good person with BPD or a bad person with BPD, but the BPD doesn’t make you bad.
Reach out to the name on my channel above 👆🏼 he got me psychedelics that helped cure my bipolar
All the people with borderline I have ever known are destructive and abusive, sorry. In pain, yes, but destructive and abusive nevertheless. They need serious therapy and not excuses for their often awful behaviors.
@@rosieposie9564 I’m not saying that some people with borderline aren’t abusive and awful. I’m saying that having this disorder doesn’t automatically make you bad. There are people with BPD that are abusive and there are abusive people in every group. BPD takes a lot of work and therapy to manage, they should be encouraged to get help not demonized. If you do something bad you can’t blame the disorder you blame yourself that’s what I’m saying.
@@WHY-gi3vf yeah you’re right …
The guy on my channel above 👆🏼 helped me recover with he’s products
@rosie posie
Have you ever considered that, “all of the borderlines I have ever known” actually means, the only BPD people who’ve had symptoms you can observe? Not a lot of people know i’m BPD, and they would probably say something like you. But it would be false. You meet people with all sorts of mental/physical diagnoses every day and have no idea because they’re just like everyone else.
BPD is so incredibly painful. Physically so, not just emotionally. But the emotional pain is something you can’t describe to someone who hasn’t experienced it. I feel so discouraged many days because it feels so overwhelming. Years of therapy with progress, but still so much to go and still so painful. Thank you for this video
“People with PBD are not necessarily bad people, they are people in need of support.”
That line really bothered me. Most often, people with BPD were victims of childhood abuse...at the hands of people who were not necessarily good people. That one line soured me, so trite and condescending.
@@rachelrosen5501 almost implies that most people with the condition are.
@@reticull7035 she's just saying that we have to be careful with our judgements.. that BPD doesn't make a person bad, even though in some situations that's what it seems.. if a person is really bad, it's not from having a borderline personality disorder.
@@yuukoichihara5109 what makes someone really bad?
@@reticull7035 basically, people who do bad things to others.. intentionally. so,
they use people for their own gain and don't care if their actions cause harm to others. most cases they do just to cause harm to them.. just because they think it's fun.
“I feel like no one loves me but you”
My older sister said this to me once and it’s one of the most bittersweet things I’ve ever heard from her. I’m naturally a very compassionate person and have always given kind gestures, from making her a glass of cold water when she had to walk to and from work in the summer to showing her a cat compilation when she was in a bad mental state. When she was diagnosed I was one of the few people who wasn’t afraid but reached out now that I “get” her. I wish more people would understand the points mentioned, I couldn’t even imagine what it must feel like with the stigma on top of it all.
It truly sucks. It’s very lonely inside my head
I’m sorry for both of you ❣️ support her at all costs
What a beautiful sister!
I'm so good at beginnings, but in the end I always seem to destroy everything, including myself.
Is there ever truly an end?
@@Psych2go You know that's a good question. Guess it all depends in what you believe in and what happens after. But they also say everything eventually ends right? That both good and bad things, eventually come to an end.
@xuxalush same. I'm currently on a break from my bf because of this.
Man i feel the exact same way, i’m very good at connecting with people at first, but the moment i started really being friends with them i start to isolate because i’m so terrified of them leaving me or whatever and end up saying things i regret to try and keep them at somewhat of a distance
@@tarahendrickson1208 same here I lost my girlfriend because I got to paranoid over a long distance relationship. The only way I saw to get her back was trying to get more and more attention. I love her so much, but now I hate life
as a person with bpd I would have loved to hear about how loving and caring we are not just how stigmatized we are...
Amen to that
Yeah,we loved people so much more than we do to our selves, it's only when our bpd is triggered we turn into this.
Funny that you said that since I heard a lot, that BPD is for lack of better therm a demon possesion. People with BPD are slowly crawling into your heart only to abuse you emotionally and physically. But nevertheless it is a serious condition. I know 1 person in my live with BPD and I wish I could be 1000 miles away from them lol.
@@TVManson how is it funny? And why is it necessary to add that. They’re someone with BPD saying that it’s not all there is to their person and that was kind of a dick move to say it’s funny they say that. If you’re not meaning it in a harmful way maybe look at your phrasing or don’t say anything
Not everyone with BPD is loving and caring, though. Good and bad people have mental illnesses, so it really just depends on the person.
I have BPD and it’s absolutely exhausting. I lost all my “friends” due to it and feel incredibly lonely.
Same here
I have a friend with bpd and it's genuinely freaking hard being their friend and it starts to affect their own mental health. It hasn't affected mine yet but i fear it might. Nonetheless I'll stick with her as long as i can
The same thing happened to me. I know it’s my fault and I know I cut them off because I simply cannot trust people and fear that even the slightest things I do may make them abandon and so to avoid them leaving me, I leave them. You’re not alone :(
Same here.
Me too :( and no one cares about me even though i care about everyone. Im tired of being treated like im not worth shit. I just want someone to care for that cares for me in return
As someone who was diagnosed with BPD in my early 20s (I'm 34 now), I just wanted to say things can get better! Things started to stabilize for me once I finally learned to treat myself with care. It's incredibly hard, but you can get there. It doesn't solve everything immediately, but try to learn from your episodes, and don't beat yourself up. Sorry - just wanted to share. Good luck and love to all of you.
That gives me a lot of hope. I got diagnosed only recently (I'm in my early 20s), it's been a scary and exhausting journey before as well as after the diagnosis. Thank you for sharing, it means a lot to me
I love this. Truly the most important thing is time, learning and lots of patience. Its an ongoing battle.
I agree, mine has seemed to mellow out and things have gotten more stable for me. Only things I struggle hard with now is the paranoia, & binging really
I'm scared to "get there". I don't want to be like this but I don't know how to get better.
proud if you
I could remember several years ago, I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Was actually diagnosed with BPD. Not until my husband recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
YES sure of mycologist Predroshrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, addiction. Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
Thanks for sharing your story. That's rough I sympathize. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health. I will pray for you all.
Where do I reach this dude? If possible can I find him on Google
"dont self diagnose" i'm trying not to. o swear
Same ;)
Same...bpd isn't fun.
I got diagnosed with schizophrenia but I'm pretty sure It's BPD
@@catzilla6279 how so? (Not being rude. Im just curious, I tend to overthink things...so I have to clarify that lol)
@@catzilla6279 I highly doubt that, BPD and schizophrenia are EXTREMELY different types of disorders
I've been diagnosed with BPD and the comments are warming my heart. It's nice to know that people are watching this to help love, support and understand the people in their lives that they care about who have BPD. :)
Reach out to the name on my channel above 👆🏼 he got me psychedelics that cure bipolar
It's quite reassuring indeed.
The voice of this woman is giving me extremely calm vibes
My friend has BPD and I've been educating myself about it as much as I can to understand her more. I told her this today and she said that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for her because no one has ever taken the time to look into her like that and it honestly broke my heart. I love her with all my heart and soul and I care for her very deeply, I just wanted to learn so I can be a better friend and partner and to be there for her with more understanding of what she struggles with
@ArisLee Where did this even come from-
@ArisLee clearly fellow organism, you’ve never had friends and you think everyone is against each other, why
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
🙏❤️♥️
@@pink_sky_morning4842 probably because it's a very common thing for a lot 'nice guy friends' to go out of their way to do something special when they are trying to date that person. Not saying that's the case here but it happens a lot so I get it
1. Fear of abandonment
2. Persistent & wide mood swings
3. Paranoid thinking
4. Emptiness
5. Impulsivity
6. Splitting
7. Trust issues
8. Risk factors for development can be environmental and/or inherited
9. Change in interests and values
Hope this helps
3 through 8 got me. I happened to work my way out of 1 and 2 after several years.
Ummm.. I have at least 6 of those symptoms-
why do i have all of these
Doctors made an accurate diagnosis
@@lumine6675 me too-
Bpd has taken my life away. I got a degree and can’t work because of bpd. I tried therapy and it was working. I wouldn’t want anyone to go through this. Hope all of you are well!
Everything is going to be fine. God is with you :)
I know what you mean it’s awful, I hate it and I don’t think people who don’t have BPD quite realise how exhausting it can get
They don’t let u work or u just can’t personally?? Plsss let me know !!
BPD was on the fast track to ruining my life about 5 years ago but since then with the support of good friends and family I'm in a much better place and looking forward to a lot of things right now. Please don't lose hope, it gets so much easier to live with when you understand it and learn how to manage it.
This whole time I’ve been thinking my depression has come back but I truly believe it bpd now . The guilt I get for the strong hatred I sometimes get towards close people to me for the slightest errors . Even more the feeling of being empty and not understanding who I am for years on end :(
My partner revealed to me that he has BPD, and at first, I was concerned about it because I just didn't understand what it was. He needed constant reassurance of whether I loved him and had a fear of abandonment. We have been together for over 2 years and he has gotten better than when we first met. He's the sweetest man and learning more about what he goes through gave me a better understanding.
Thank you for giving him reassurance when he needs it the most. I haven't found a girl who could give me that till date. Someday:)
thank you for fighting for him. it is not easy to have this disorder.
How are you coping with the abusive and disrespectful behavior of his? Are you trying to be emotionless just to pass through the anger stage? Has he physically abused you?
not everyone with bpd is abusive @@Giorg189
@@Giorg189🙄
my dad has bpd and he’s a very loving, sensitive and kindhearted person. he gets so happy at the slightest sign of us caring about him. but it’s hard to see how much he struggles with his confidence, and when his bpd is bad he either guilt trips people or becomes very passive aggressive over the smallest things :( i wish he wasn’t struggling with this disorder
As someone who has bpd and grew up with a mom with bpd, self awareness will get you so far. I feel so stable here recently. It’s stayed consistent for a few months now. Always look at yourself first before placing blame. Think before you speak. Breathe. Exercise too. I go for walks/runs with my dog every weekend. My job involves moving and working up a sweat too. This helps me feel stable and gives me confidence in myself.
Anyone who is in a toxic relationship with someone who has bpd, do not take blame repeatedly. Don’t stay if they never try self awareness. It’ll be war forever. Sorry if this offends anyone. But it’s the truth.
I’m living this, my wife has undiagnosed bpd.. every time I’ve confronted her about her issues she’s left me. She’s cheated, lied and lies about me physically abusing her. Blames everything on me when I have accepted so much. I keep praying she will come home but she acts like she hates me… I literally went from her best friend to hated over night.
@@derekwilliams9272 I’m so sorry to hear this. I know I don’t know everything about your relationship but I would suggest letting her go. Pray the hurt away. Pray the desperation to have her back away. It will get easier. Grow to learn who you are without her. You are important. You are your own person. Find him and you’ll never look back. When she comes back to you (because she will) explain to her why you will not go on like this. Let that hit her like a ton of bricks. That you’re the one in control of the dynamic now. You decide how you’re going to feel. Not her. That will turn her world upside down. She has no more control over you. That’ll burn so badly. I promise she’ll realize how fucked up she is. Just don’t spend your time worrying about it. Find you!
@@hollypocket6684 really think she will come back? I agree with moving forward with myself and letting time play out… but she’s my wife and I truly love her and don’t want our relationship to fall victim to bpd.
@@derekwilliams9272 I know her coming back is all you can think about. I’m sorry about that. If she cannot change after your ultimatum, yes you should let go for your own good. Life will get easier after her, I promise. Just stay with God and you’ll be okay. Pray away that gut wrenching feeling every time you remember what’s happening. Feel the grief but don’t dwell on it. And please do not be focused on her coming back to you. Just forget about it and do you. Don’t feed into it anymore.
Youre 100% correct. Im diagnosed BPD and didnt happen until i was 22 BUT with that diagnosis i was able to watch myself and figure out the appropriate times to react and to be as calm as posssible while reacting. Before i just thought i was care free, but i wasnt, i was manic. Now i can confidently say that im stable and confident the only symptom i cant seem to get around are the inrusive thoughts that usually cause splitting, to quiet them down i just listen to music constantly unless im home.
I was diagnosed with bpd last month and I don’t know too much about it but this has definitely opened my eyes a lot thank you
I’ve been diagnosed with bpd, but I have “quiet/hidden” bpd. I internalize everything and have been misdiagnosed as bipolar before bpd. it’s extremely exhausting, and I find myself tired at the end of the day even if I don’t do anything physical. it’s hard, and managing it all has been the most intense trial and error of my life. I’m so glad I have strong supports that understand what I’m going through and help me through it. I wouldn’t be alive without them. 💜
Same ❤️ sending love
Same for me but I have nobody instead
Quiet BPD isn’t even a real diagnosis
.-. Me cutting off men I’ve talked to bc I felt the text messages change from “goodmorning” to “gm”
me cutting off my parents when they asked me to turn off the kitchen light too mean.
feels
Why do I feel this... literally scared the girl I’m talking to is going to stop caring or I’ll get a change like this and my mind will just 💥
Holy shit, is that why she cut me off
Me cutting- uh oh yeah
i’ve been thinking about trying to get diagnosed with bpd for a while now, but i wasn’t sure if i was just tricking myself into believing i could have it. this video has made me decide i’m gonna make a doctors appointment and speak to my GP to possibly get a diagnosis, thankyou so much. i’ll keep this updated
Me too. I really think I have it, part of me is too afraid to take that step
@@annab1807 same cause I’ve told my parents what I feel and they tell me I’m just thinking that. but this explained everything. I want to take that step
Me too.. i'm going tomorrow, like seriously this video is recommended out of nowhere when actually i was planning to meet doctor. Btw, how are you doing? (Sorry for my english)
been feeling this way for months and last night i finally snapped and realized i’ve had enough and i need to fucking do something about it. everyday is getting worse and worse
@@internetstranger667 i don't even get that haha
For people that don’t know, psychiatrists diagnosed Anakin Skywalker from the Star Wars franchise with BPD. Watching this video made me realize how many of these traits perfectly describe Anakin and has made me view his character in the prequels in a whole different light, while also helping me understand BPD more. It’s a shame people didn’t really understand or like his character when the prequels first came out.
I came from that video
Awww I loved that starwars. That’s pretty cool
That helps explains his behaviors a lot better :)
my favourite description of bpd is that our emotions are our skin and it's burnt all over and even the slightest of touches can cause so much pain
As someone who's diagnosed with BPD, the best advice I can give to a person whether a friend or a partner to somebody with this illness, is to practice patience. Patience is key, above all else. It will not always be so reactive. Trust is scary, within time they'll learn to believe in you if you're patient with them.
You are so right, exactly that works in my case, if I see that somebody really cares about me, I remain loyal forever, and really make efforts to improve for a greater good.
As a person having been married to someone with BPD, the best advice I can give is: don't put up with all the shit. Don't accept erratic behavior, mood swings, violence etc. People with BPD tend to be very narcissistic and gravitate to themselves, not realizing the severity of their illness, thinking that the world is strange - not them. They need help and if they refuse to get it - leave. And for the love of God - don't have children until the illness is thoroughly under control.
@@ChefPelle That sounds like a quite severe type, depends a lot what type from those 4, the person has.
@@adrian-vasilebud4444 When children bail out and cut all ties to a parent - a mother in this case - it's pretty severe. They - the kids - finally told her that she would never see them again. She never did.
@@ChefPelle Indeed when a person does not want to accept that has an out of control problem, creates situations that can not be undone, unfortunately for all involved. Of course, a lot of people use the fact that they have BPD, as an excuse to behave whitout concerns about the harm that they do against their closest ones, and they do not try to improve themselves, although they have complete discernment over their actions.
BPD for me has shown up like they said in my early adult hood. I struggle everyday and feel I am unlovable. It comes from the fact I was abused and neglected by my parents and sibling. I feel I am insane at times, because I get so mad over little things and later think back "wow that was very mishandled on my end." I just lost a relationship with the love of my life to due lack of trust, lack of constantly loving myself, and massive fear he was going to leave me like everyone else, and his mom would just hate me. Unfortunately I self sabotaged and made my fears happen. I am 5 days in and feeling like I literally don't have purpose and if im not someone someone wants, why continue. I black out when I get angry too or when I am so depressed I can't even focus. I am always "day dreaming" and just feel out of control. I've met all of these, but it feels good to know someone understands.
Honey you're not alone.. Many of us are suffering and it's very difficult. Take care of yourself the best way you can😊♥️
You just describe me I swear but I’m not diagnosed yet. I’m getting help soon
You explained that really well. I get you 🖤🖤🖤
This is so me and it makes me want to cry reading this. Sending love and hugs from Ghana, Africa ♥️
Yes, it's hard to overcome serious abuse by parents
A summary if you don't want to watch the whole video:
1. Fear of abandonment
2. Persistent and wide mood swings
3. Paranoid thinking
4. Emptiness
5. Impulsivity
6. Splitting (in emotions)
7. Trust Issues
8. Risk factors for development can be environmental and/or inherited
9. Changes in interest or value
The video misses selfharm
I was diagnosed with BPD in 2017. Back then it all of these things were really relatable. I've been through a lot of therapy since then and have calmed down so much. I can only slightly relate to a few of these things now. I still have my moments but they're far and few and life is no longer black and white for me. I'm grateful for how far I have come.
I can't wait to say this :)
which type of therapy please? very glad for you
help me pls and ty ahah
I was diagnosed with BPD and I’ve watched these videos so many times. Whenever I feel alone or like I’m the only one who suffers the way I do, these videos give me so much hope that I may get better one day.
I was to address that “splitting” has not only to do with b&w thinking. But it means that when we (borderliners) don’t got a hold on our emotions, we can say hurtful and bad things that we don’t even mean and want to say at first! We’ll have a feeling of remorse and shame afterwards..
So relatable
@Jesus is coming. Read the Gospel. Jesus don't care, He do nothing now lol
@Jesus is coming. Read the Gospel. its funny how u came to this video using your god to demonize us.
This is exactly what my boyfriend does, he insult me so bad and after 30 min he said 10 times sorry and if I say I don't accept his apology then he insult me again , he does it until he give and realize what he did was very bad and then he calm down
@Jesus is coming. Read the Gospel. Jesus gave me this disorder, so…..
I Suffered severe depression 18 years ago as a teenage, got addicted to cigarettes. Spent my whole life fighting Cigarettes addiction. I was actually diagnosed with cptsd and mental disorder. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
I'm so very happy for you, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Germany don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source🙏🏻
YES very sure of larymycology I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, BPD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
Mushrooms are very medicinal. This is why anybody familiar with psilocybin and any other kind of fungi will tell you, "They are alive." They have a very ancient wisdom. To my experience, all mushrooms have always said, "Pay attention to your life. How you think, how you feel, and what will you do with the information that you always knew, but now are seeing in this point of view." This is why mushrooms are so respected in tribal cultures. This mental health treatment works for me too. Half micro doses do the trick for me. At least a few days at a time with lengthy time in between. Never addictive. Thank you for sharing this point!
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
My boyfriend started reading the book “stop walking on eggshells” and it talks about those with BPD as if we are manipulative abusers, and it hurts. I wish he would understand the pain I feel everyday without demonizing me.
If he’s demonizing you then you should leave him immediately
He just got the wrong book,my mother study some books called ,,I hate you - do not leave me(those that have BPD understand the title meaning)",,one called ,,Healing of the child from inside",and another one called ,,How to manage your emotions and regain your autocontrol",she is trying to understand this disorder that ruined my life over the years,In matter of humans that really loved me,I lost everything,except some close familly members.I wish you best of luck Emilly.I hope you will be able to explain him somehow,that deep inside,you need him all the time.And the worst thing that can make against you will be to leave.People whit BPD,get over over abandonment from their closest people very hard. And yes, people with BPD can be manipulative abusers, I did that a lot in the past, whit the people that I known for sure that they care about me, like my mother or former fiance. I knew that If I behave in a certain way, I will receive what I want from them, so there is a lot of discernment ivolved in the middle, because if was not that, then a lot of people will BPD will be looked up in mental institutions.
@@You-rg4ec Have you ever lived with somebody whit BPD?Is not easy at all,they have always the tendency,to behave extremely bad whit their most loved ones,I know from my own life.
@@adrian-vasilebud4444 These people talk like borderlines DON'T destroy the lives around them. It's baffling the amount of cover that exists for this. I categorize these people the same as I would anyone who ruins other's lives.
@@jamesdanton9033 Thanks for the support James,for some people is not easy at all to understand that people whit BPD or NPD,behave in a certain manner whitout doing that on porpouse,I can just look at my case,a insignificant thing like a song can make me excited at the extreme,like I want to get out from my body and fly,then after half an hour,I remeber something sad,and my moral gets under 0,after another half an hour again excited about something,after half an hour down again,is no wonder that people think that you act like this on porpouse,because if I will know nothing about BPD,and I will stay some time whit a person that change his mood so often,I will think to that is completely nut or he does that on porpouse,but of course this desorder does not stops just at mood swings, especially when you are in a relationship, you loose interest fast, you think something new is better, you have something new, than you consider that what you had in the past was better,even if you had two or three consecutive good different persons in your life,whit BPD,you can not stay doing nothing,when doing nothing is the best thing for you,you always must do something,good or bad for you,you just do it,because on the spot,you are just not able to not do (whitout a lot of menthal training from the achieved by yourself alone or with special help from a profesional), something that you realize that is bad,risky or whatever negative aspect fot you,even if you was before 10 times already that posture,and the ending was not as you expected,and you know,and you know your chances for a good ending now are very small,but you do it again anyway,the same when you ar talking whit your beloved ones or even strangers.
I have BPD, and my gf has been amazing with seeing it through my eyes and understanding without judgements. She always knows how to ground me in reality and remind me who I am and just how much she loves me. I'm sending her videos of more of the education side so she understands me more. What I couldnt do without that woman♡
Thats so sweet omg 🥺❤
This made me bawl like a baby… I was diagnosed with this about 5 years ago and I suffer from every single symptom of it and have been struggling since I was maybe 8. I will be sending this to my family so they can understand it better. Everyone loves to think I’m such a bad person but this is what I go through…
how did they react?
I hope you will come to a way of coping with living with it. It’s difficult for you and I’m happy you got diagnosed in an early age, I hope you got the help you deserve. You’re not alone at struggling with this. You are strong and you deserve happiness as much as anyone else does! I believe in you. I hope your family reacts well to you sending this informative video.
❤️
I hope you're doing ok
Thank you to all you beautiful people for your care and concern. As jaded and cynical as I get sometimes, I’m happy to know that there are still good people out there ❤️.
As 38 year old with BPD I can safely say I am still completely lost in life! From the outside I have a very successful life with a good job, house, cars, etc however this condition has taunted me from ever since I can remember. I have lost friends, family and now my Wife because of my inability to be "normal". It is amazing how quick people are ready to abandon you when you need help the most. The NHS seem unwilling to help and the numerous drugs they prescribe appear to do nothing for me.
One thing I hear that’s been working is DBT or dialectical behavioral therapy. Worth looking into for acceptance mind fullness and tools for emotional regulation
@@sugarcope4253 Thanks.
Im 34 and still feel lost. I have no idea what Im doing or want. I understand you completely. I have someone who tries very hard to keep me happy and I love them but it’s always the abandonment issue that makes me push them away.
Try Deep PEAT, Basic Peat or Dp4. Techiques were invented by Živorad Mihajlović Slavinski.
I’m diagnosed with this and while watching the video my head started like: this is misleading, this is reductive, I’m not weak, I’m not an stereotype.... then I felt angry for no reason, and then boom, ten minutes later I’m laughing at it. Hopefully this comment won’t “haunt” me later.
Yeah... that’s how being borderline is... but with therapy and medication and time and self love and support, it can be handle... don’t give up.
Yeah lol I was angry for a few seconds that one of the 9 things wasn't that most people who have BPD learn to manage it and live with it as they get older. Then reading the comments I got emotional reading everyone's stories, can't wait to see what comes next lol
@@Athenainspiring yeah sameee
I’m so happy that there’s more videos on bpd! I’m trying to get diagnosed soon and I really relate to the symptoms and want to be sure. (But) Thank you for spreading such positive and precious awareness that mental health needs.
Big thumbs up for trying to get diagnosed. I have BPD and my diagnosis and journey has helped me so much!
MiMi's Life aww thank you! And good for you for taking such a BIG step in the your journey in mental health it’s inspiring!👏
Me after every fact listed about Bpd:
"Ahh yes... relatable."
"Mhm true."
"This is so accurate."
literally!! after I was diagnosed i read about it and it all made so much sense.
It's when you say "wtf, when were they reading my diary; in fact, when did I start writing the diary they clearly just read?".
@@AdrianColley ＼(°o°)／
BPD really did a number on me! I am now in an outpatient DBT program and I’m getting back on my feet. Don’t give up hope!
why do i never see anyone talking about “the favorite person” :(
yes!! “the favorite person” is something that is rarely addressed and it really should be covered
I agree! The "favorite person" is a HUUUUUGE factor yet nobody ever talks about it. The "favorite person" goes through so much Hell, they should be mentioned.
I have multiple favourite people: the artists and actors whom I made into a surrogate family of role models because I didn't have parents who cared enough.
What do you mean?
@@smallpotato5445 Right. So. Basically, there is one person in your life who you put on a pedestal above all else and will sacrifice your entire life and mental wellbeing for. But it can also mean that a) you spend your entire life in constant terror that this person whom is your only reason to keep going will abandon you, and b) this can mean that there is a lot of pressure on this person as we see them as all perfect, all knowing and can make no mistakes. This means that when they do make mistakes, because humans are fallible, some people can shift to not liking them for a few days because of the black and white thinking and the abandonment issues from past trauma. It is not uncommon for abusers or toxic people to be super nice before suddenly turning on you so this is something that is ingrained in them from childhood. Everyone will leave or hurt you at some point because you aren't worthy. Which is why I get so pissed when I see these people being like, "never date a borderline, they deserve to be alone" because it perpetuates the same message their abusers taught them as a kid. You may as well hand them a noose tbh, because that attitude stops people with BPD from seeking treatment and getting better. But that is a whole other rant for another day.
i stumbled upon this video because i wanted to know more all about mental illnesses and i just wanted to say that your voice is one of the most calming voices i have ever heard in my existence
that’s why we need to be nice, you don’t know how much people are scared,traumatized,sad...kindness can make someone believe also again in humans
yeah :-(
The most points i can related to
- Paranoid thinking & Trust issues (there's time when in junior high school , almost everyone is against me, And I'm not exaggerating it. I think this the time that i almost commiting suicide and developing split thinking from coping i think)
- Emptiness almost all the time
- change interested and value (from splitting, my behavior is become very extreme sides to sides.
For example :
-i believe in Human potential and I'm respected everyone regardless their age , gender or background (this is my childhood personality, I'm trying to be nice to everyone)
In other side,
- I don't trust any ounce of you ,and i seek every word that i can use to against you (for my safe rope)
And I'm good at mimicking other people, sometimes i feel i don't even know myself, what things i like? What things i don't?
The other me is polar opposite of me and that make me 'him' are not me, sometimes 'i' also fight the other me. Like debating because we have different values and perception. And I'm used to addressing myself as 'our' if 'he' and 'i' both agree at something.
Can we take a moment to appreciate all the amazing therapists, psychiatrists and doctors out there that help us with our mental health issues. My PA helped diagnose and regulate my BPD and I’m doing so much better than I ever have been.
For someone who suffers from BPD and Bipolar Disorder as well as working as a therapist I have to thank you for making this wonderful video, keeping facts without either glorifing people with the illness as victims nor judging them as bad people. One thing I'd love to see would be the key fact that every person with BPD can show different signs of this illness so it's really not that easy to find a overall solution for everyone the same. Stay strong and there's no shame in reaching out for help
I was diagnosed with bpd a year ago. One of my biggest issues has been splitting, I've gone from loving someone to completely hating them within a matter of minutes. Another thing that's made it worse over time is prejudice. People have often showed hate without even knowing me just because of my diagnosis. I am so grateful to you for educating people about bpd!! ❤❤❤
my mom has BPD. Until I watched this video I had no idea what BPD really was. I think now I know how to understand from my mom's perspective. I was so blinded by my own anger toward her that I never thought of how she felt. Hopefully, I can improve myself from here and on.
I'm a 50 year old with BPD and my life has been difficult to say the least. Although many of my negative behaviors that stem from BPD have improved as I've gotten older the core problems are still there. I was sexually abused as a child, bullied and teased by my siblings and classmates, and treated as though I was stupid and not good enough. To this day I am very sensitive when I feel people are dismissive of me or when I feel rejected or slighted. If someone perhaps even inadvertently make an offhand comment about me it can trigger intense anger and then I feel guilty later for overreacting to the situation. There's an old saying about BPD that's spot on which is "if you gently prick the skin of a person with BPD they will bleed all over you.' It's a major challenge managing the emotional dysregulation that comes with this condition.
for most it is a result of Multiple Traumas & a survival mechanism. but i do believe those of us with it are naturally susceptible. no traumas, or the appropriate support/parenting & no BPD. Trauma & lack of support/help/understanding/acceptance & ur fucked.
same age and same lifelong struggles. solidarity
I wonder if there will ever be a time for a sufferer to not care what others say or do to them? I’m seeing that it’s a common trigger for them. I’m quite sure my mother had it now, looking back
As someone who was recently diagnosed BPD I have a hard time understanding myself and telling my close ones how I feel so I sent them this video because it greatly explains me. I try everyday to control myself and get better by understanding and your videos help greatly along with my therapy. Thank you for being so informative and accurate!
Thank you for this video! I just watched it. I was diagnosed in 2016 when I was 22, but it's assumed I have had since I have been basically 10-11 due to symptoms I have shown at that age...
I'm glad to do therapy for since then, DBT to be exact. I can only urge people to seek a therapist/doctor to get it possibly diagnosed and seek out for help. It makes it so much easier. Yes, sadly many doctors/therapists might turn you away, as some do not want to treat people with BPD, but if you look up things like DBT it'll make it easier to find a therapist fitting for BPD.
I have severe BPD that, although it's gotten better with age, seriously interferes with my daily life. However, I've also been happily married for 10 years. BPD is not a hopeless curse. It's important to be aware of your symptoms and how the disorder uniquely presents within you and do your best to minimize those symptoms. It takes A LOT of internal work and transparency with yourself and others. The second half of the equation is to find stable support. You can be happy and loved with BPD. Hang in there, everyone.
i got diagnosed with BPD at 14, (which I'm now learning was really young) but this has been one of the most helpful videos that I can send to friends and family so they can understand what I go through. It's always difficult to explain when someone just asks or I don't have the right words to use. but this.. this is helpful
I’ve been in a relationship with a BPD woman for 3 years, until she broke up with me all of a sudden, telling me she wasn't in love anymore. She decided not to give me any other explanation about it but barely commenting “it is what it is”. So yeah, definitely not easy to overcome such trauma, even if it's caused by a person who suffer from a hard disorder to live with
I feel like I can somewhat relate. I've managed to cut off contact from my past relationships since the only thing I feel toward them is doubt and that brings stress. I've given up on friendship and relationship and I'm fine with just working hard to earn big money. As long as I take care of myself and send money to my parents I don't think I need to fulfil any other purpose and I'm fine with that.
Are you sure?
That’s how I feel smh that’s why keeping money is so important to me because I NEVER want to depend on ANYBODY ! Sometimes I think to myself and say “ I might be alone forever but at least I’ll have money” if I had to choose I rather have money than have people who are just gonna get bored and tired of me anyways smh it’s really sad but I feel like it’s my reality
Lowkey facts
@@kyrabanks6699 no one is never completely alone
It’s really comforting to see all the comments about friends and loved ones saying how they still love and care for the person with bpd, makes me feel like there’s hope and maybe we don’t always have to be alone
This pretty much sums up everything that I feel and was recently diagnosed with Bpd , ocd, panic disorder and clinical depression. It's draining and crippling at all times. Feel like this kind of video the only one truly understands me on a deeper level.
Hey 👋🏽
The name on my channel helped me recover from bipolar….. you can reach out to him
I just talked to my psychiatrist and she rediagnosed my bipolar with BPD. It makes perfect sense to me and that feeling hit hard. I’m going through an insane mood swing/panic attack right now but seeing these comments doesn’t make me feel so alone. I have a true gentle mental and I’m glad that others do too. We are rockstars no matter what. I know I can get tame this beast
A borderline suffers a kind of emotional hemophilia; [s]he lacks the clotting mechanism needed to moderate [his or her] spurts of feeling. Stimulate a passion, and the borderline emotionally bleeds to death.
Wow, well put.
I really appreciate concise language: Your clotting metaphor is elegant. It explains my last 60 years.
This is hands down THE BEST description I've ever read for BPD. Very well said.
Kati Morton describes BPD sufferers as "emotional burn victims".
As someone who has the disorder I can say that this is strangely accurate.
It's a very painful thing to live with,,
Diagnosed with BPD, used to have a Favourite Person for 9 years. This person abandoned me in January, I'm still grieving. It's been the most painful thing I ever experienced. We should talk more about what a FP is and how does it feel to have one - or lose one, which is even worse
Going through exactly the same phase . We will heal ❤️🩹
Omg guys, I can't believe how all of you are so positive! I have the exact same situation - abandoned me before New Years and it was almost 7 years. You wrote 3 months ago that you still grieving, now it's almost 6 months and I feel like it's getting worse than before, like if I don't get them back I'm gonna die... All of you wrote about the FP thing and "there is only one person for us" mentality and I just can't believe y'all feel the same way as me, it's so true but the worst part is I don't know what to do with it! I can't even go to work, he left me alone with everything, mother is a nightmare, I have nothing... Therapy is expensive and I don't wanna change my mind I only want him, everything you wrote is so true but I don't know what to do about it😭
@@aidandempsey6493There are many people in this world. Find others who are supportive of your emotional needs..
Did they abandon you or did your actions have consequences? Every person with BPD claims to have been "abandoned" when in reality their ill behavior causes people to not want to be around them. My sister, for instance, is a miserable human being and when I went no contact she claims I "abandoned her" to other without fully disclosing the absolutely bonkers behavior she displayed. Enough victim mentality.
@@emclaire18Ableism, Homophobia, Transphobia are all rooted in racism
I cant look in the mirror, I dont recognize my own face. My arms and legs dont feel like they're mine. It's an exhausting mental illness, I experience true neutral (nothing, and calm, but unstable and easilly triggered) extreme anger, and happiness comes to me as it's own personality disorder and presents as involuntary age regression. It stems from neglect. I lacked attention as a kid, and then was homeschooled, and now I'm just lacking in all the social skills I should have by now.
You're not alone. If you're reading this, I'm here for you. I get you, I'm proud of you. It's so difficult and it's important to be gentle with yourself when you suffer thus illness.
i’m proud of you too. hope you’re doing well
Your comment meant a lot to me. I hope you’re doing ok lately. Life is such a battle but we must continue on
It took extreme patience and unrelenting support from my family, but I've been successfully treated for BPD. BPD is a nightmare to suffer through, so anyone who has BPD and is struggling please know treatment is available. My life has improved so much and (aside from the insane reality we currently live in) is stable. It was really hard to get to this point and it took years, but I'm so glad I got where I am now. It's something you have to maintain, find the right treatment team, and identify when you need to use coping skills, but it's possible.
Can I ask if you are taking medication, or is it through therapy and coping skills that you've been successful?
@savannahhenry8323 how long did it take to treat this? And how did you treat it? Appreciate your response.
I’ve had symptoms of bpd for awhile and now that I’m officially diagnosed with it feels as if it’s all clear to me now. Thank you for making this video because bpd in my eyes is one very misunderstood disorder and gets confused with bipolar disorder. So thank you so much for making they video..
I can attest to this, I was in Dialectical behaviour therapy for 10 long years, and today finally I can say it paid off, it is not easy, but we do get better and it can be managed with understanding and learning to live with it yourself and understanding what your triggers are. Your significant other also plays a key role in your road to "recovery"...
You just hit every defining characteristic of my BFF. “I Hate You! Don’t Leave Me”, was the best book I was able to find on the Topic. It can be very frustrating to deal with a lot of self-pity and negativity, but NOT giving in to childish tantrums helps. I find that once they are ready to admit how they are feeling and why they are acting out in a particular way, the guilt comes out, the forgiveness is given, but they can’t forgive themselves. It’s LOVE or HATE. They have difficulty separating the person from the behaviour. I will say, “When you do THIS, it makes me feel sad.” The counter offer is automatic defence, paranoia and distancing/ isolating. Until they grasp the fact that the person can be sad or angry at something they did, not the person themselves. I can be mad at you for a certain behaviour, but still love you, the person. We all make mistakes. God teaches us forgiveness. I’m not God by any stretch of the imagination. But I can still try to best comfort an upset person with BPD while not needing to “fix”them or their situation. Rather, just be there to listen and make space in your own life for them.
That is beautiful. Elegant and compassionate prose.
well said! thank you for sharing your experience it helps tons on understanding!
thank you for your words.. i hope i have a person like you around me now who can give a comfort even just a little or the people who care to me that can talk to me. i don't know if i have this BPD thing but i just want that the people around me really care about me, even if the signs of it just a little so that i can know about their sincerity is real. thank you:')
😢
This is so beautiful. I realize how I used to do this ALL the time. But therapy really helps. I really do not feel this as bad as before. It's a process. Thank you for seeing it! I hope the person with BPD in your life appreciates your kindness. It's so nice to find people like you :)
I cried when I read that book, it was like looking into a mirror.
Hej. I am BPD person myself yet I am very different. I was diagnosed multiple times because I couldn't believe it. I wasn't aware how widely spread the diagnosis is.
I am very focused on others and let myself rott in a corner. I live via their emotions and reactions, I can't feel any emotions myself (which is very odd to some people being related with BPD) I overshare (forcing connection), get in debts very easily (mostly due to buying presents for others) and eat less (selfharm), I don't feel my boundaries either.
I still don't believe myself having BPD. I only have few in common with these stereotypes, which is enough to get misunderstood and being put in the same drawer apparently. Emotional difficulties can vary very strongly, not only overreaction and mood swings.
Thanks for reading all of this! I want to show varieties in diagnosis and bring awareness!
Please make sure not to stigmatise ♡ have a lovely day ~
As someone diagnosed with bpd i am so glad and happy you informed people in this beautiful way, hopefully we will get understood a bit more and can learn to cope with it better on daily bases
I have BPD.. and I’m a introvert I’m glad to know I’m not alone and there are other ppl without who is willing to understand.. 🙏🏽❤️ Thank you
I’m the friend who got cut off by the friend with BPD. It was very sudden and heartbreaking. Looking back, the entire relationship was very unstable and exhausting. I watch videos like these to help educate myself and move on. I do not plan on ever being their friend again but being informed helps with the immense hurt and heartbreak.
Hi, do you mind us talking privately? I relate to your situation and I am having trouble moving on if you don’t mind me asking for advice ?
I cut a friend that I really cared about two weeks ago. That is what I usually do ,cutting people off in my head or stop caring and giving a shit about what they are doing which I later realized is a way to protect myself against imaginary abandonments or because I was seeing the world in total white or total black. However this time I cared about this person so much that I couldn't just get away with it. I reviewed everything until I figured my behaviours where coming from the fear of abandonment cause by my BPD. At the moment I blocked her I was doing the right thing in my head and she was the bad guy. I feel so horrible now, I cannot even explain how bad it feels to know that I failed to control my emotions again and let people down. I wish she gets to read this one day.
@@rominaniksirat5123 maybe you should try and talk to her and explain, it's not your fault don't try to feel bad about it
@@rominaniksirat5123 you should really reach out to them❤️ it will help both of you move on and if you fully apologize they might understand and forgive you, although they also have the right to move on alone. I totally relate to impulsively wanting to block even my bestest of friends when my mind goes dark, learning to separate your thoughts and realize that’s the bpd speaking is helpful
I’m really sorry to hear it’s always so hard to lose a friend💖, bpd can make relationships very difficult and confusing. Sometimes splitting can occur or impulsively trying to push everyone away, but regret always comes with it. Proud of you for learning and moving on!! Hope you have many beautiful friendships to come
My whole life i've had moments where i was scared of being alone by myself (especially in my house), black and white thinking, self destructive behavior, and sometimes i have to go and remind myself that i am my own person because sometimes i don't recognize myself. And you aren't alone in this situation.