CPTSD and Adult ADHD | Penny Belle | THERAPYLAB
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- Опубликовано: 3 фев 2020
- Penny Belle joins Sheri to talk about her experiences of being diagnosed with CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) as an adult and the tools for healing she has found helpful.
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Wrote this in my diary the other day, thought it might be relatable to all the folks here with C-PTSD & ADHD: “My hypervigilance is also responsible for my inability to focus. About eighty percent of my attention is unconsciously locked up in keeping watch on the reality around, constantly scanning it for potential threats and only intermittently allowing myself to “get distracted” in some other work. It’s like, if someone reassured me that nothing too chaotic will be happening to me anytime soon, I’d finally be able to relax and fully focus on my work. Or not-now I’d be worrying how long exactly is meant by “anytime soon” and what exactly is gonna happen in my life once it is over.”
Thanks for sharing, I can relate to this so much. Bad things continue to happen in my life, so I think it is actually impeding recovery.
@@viorelteodorescu6088 Same. I make a little progress, start feeling better, and then something jarring happens and throws me off course again. And then, it’s like I’m back to square one - anxious and panicky all over again. The more dysregulated our nervous systems, the easier it is for us to lose our balance and get even more dysregulated. It’s a vicious circle. We do need a substantially long period of peace and safety to recover, so that we don’t lose our balance easily. I hope we do get to such a period soon. 🙏
Me too 💜 My thoughts just sound like excuses to me now.
My goal is to have the thrive to flow and ride with life.....to me balance is huge, organisation is huge, love is huge but I think so negative with these things. Like I can't actually fulfill them because I don't know where to start or feel worthy enough so I just shut down and not even focus on those things untill weeks have past and it pops back into my head or maybe my partner pulls me up because he sees my mood change but sometimes he just wants to know how WE are doing. I somehow always end up talking about me and how it's all my fault that we are growing but also I struggle to find the words to explain it all.
I know I just need to love myself..I just hate that it's so hard to do that. sometimes I just don't think...... and pilot mode it and then it's like I wake up and get mad at me for not doing anything.... This is my cycle.
I did get my referral done with my GP 💜
Stay strong guys
Im always in fight or flight mode. And insomnia is brural... I havent slept in over 24 hrs now. Time to see my dr as i have cptsd and im not medicated for add as i refused meds aince i was a kid. Explains why my life went the way it has up till now. Sigh... But im going to deal with it
Interesting points. Not sure if you're referring to the same thing, but I've always thought of me being easily distracted (notice everything going on around me) as being irritable. An expert/doctor here on YT noted a patient of his described it similar to this: In a cafe and the guy at the next table over was chewing really loudly (seemed like it) - He felt so angry and wanted to punch the guy...but after a few mins, his anger subsided;
An unfortunate side-effect of noticing things like that is it can make you angry - I've learned to control it, but never attacked anyone over it LOL I have snapped at people a few time. Things like repetitive things irriate me...people clicking their nails, or twitching while I'm trying to watch a movie.,,,loud chewing/chomping..or anything that's inconsiderate, really annoys me. It annoys that these people need to be told to have manners
I hope anyone reading this who relates to her story, please get Pete Walker's book: C-PTSD from Surviving to Thriving. He's a wonderful writer, with a big heart, and has helped SO many people! Hugs to you all!
Thank you for sharing this info
This book was very helpful for me. Thank you:
Thank you for the recommendation! Checking it out now.
Just checked it out of the library because of your comment, Thank you so much!
Yes the best book I've ever purchased for cptsd
Outside of the accent, Penny speaks just like I do. I can recognize the subtle difference in communication the addition of CPTSD to ADHD creates. There's a bit more of an urgency and an underlying, subconscious need to get out the words and be heard a little bit more than just ADHD.
I feel the exact same way 👏🏽 it’s something so jarring to start seeing in other people too. Like wow. I’m not alone?
@@blueberrykiss124 Agreed! It feels so good to know that you are not alone in any mental health conditions (too many undiagnosed) in life.
Absolutely! This type of halted/disjointed/circular speech is the way I speak, too~ it adds to the sense of not being able to make myself understood by others, which causes me to clam up in embarrassment and frustration. Sometimes I feel that I appear to not know what I’m talking about, or that I’m being dismissive, or even deceptive. This video was extraordinary to experience.
😭😭😭 this is insane , sometimes it genuinely feel like my heads is attacking my heart …
I so relate to the desire to just "fix me" and focus on the ADHD because the childhood trauma is just so painful to address...
In my case, the MH service is rubbish, they told me "it's just anxiety"
@@AlissaSss23 Oof, a common occurence, sadly,esp. with girls. You should def. seek out another opinion and might be the inattentive type (although it could be combined or hyperactive also since that looks different for some people and in adults). Definitely hope you keep it up and go for another opinion. If you need any help or have questions if your symptoms might sound like ADHD, you can visit the ADHD subreddit ;) Wish you well
I just searched "Do I have ADHD or C-PTSD?", and this came up. I don't have the words to explain how important this video is to me. Thank you so much.
Me too, exactly my search too! Healing and peace to you friend.
Well, me too
Umm yep
Same. But still eugh… it’s a double whammy, like just one of them wasn’t enough.
This is the first time I’ve seen myself mirrored. So important.
Literally what I just searched lol. I think I have both but ever since finding out I have cptsd I keep thinking what if I’m lying to myself about the adhd and the doctor is confused. I keep invalidating myself
I loved the answer that She said: "I'm good, it's a transition and uncorfortable" So honest and Reality for people With Trauma. ❤
If you wanna skip to 23:57 is when she starts to talk about having ADHD in conjunction to having C-PTSD. And then at 38:10 she talks about what she does to manage her ADHD. I have C-PTSD and undiagnosed Inattentive ADHD so I couldn't watch this at it's normal speed. I had to speed it up to 2x it's normal speed. Hope this helps.
This is super helpful thanks! I was diagnosed with ADHD combined type last week. I’ve been seeing a psychologist for 3 years and she thought I have CPTSD (she doesn’t diagnose so this was speculation). I saw info on ADHD on TikTok and sought a diagnosis. It makes so much sense. Now I’m wondering if I should go through an assessment to check out CPTSD or not. My therapist has been saying for the last 3 years my mother is a covert narcissist. I went through ups and downs with not seeing it (I think I was trying to protect her) and seeing it (my partner saw what she was like and it gave me confirmation). I’ve moved away and omg my mind is getting clearer by the month. It’s still hard. There is so much enmeshment to untangle. I don’t like saying my Mother is a narcissist because it makes me think what does that mean for who I am? I feel like I can’t tell my family about my ADHD diagnosis as they won’t believe me. Maybe one day, maybe not.
Wow. I just found out that I have CPTSD and ADHD today. My mom had BPD and was frequently neglectful and emotionally abusive.. despite that I loved her so much. She ended up completing suicide when I was 22. I also ended up married to an emotionally abusive man. This is so eerily similar to my story.
I have cptsd and adhd and a mother with BPD. Hugging you. It’s so hard.
My mom was a Borderline also😢
I can relate, my parents are both neglectful and extremely abusive narcissists, this led the way to 3 long term relationships with narcissistic abusive partners. Now I'm just broken and scared.
in EMDR therapy so “I’m good, It’s new, Its uncomfortable” FEEL THAT
I have ADHD, i strugle to focus but now i think it could be PTSD that was caused by constant emotional abuse in Childhood. I'm also into art like the lady in the video
Going out on a limb here: what is the common denominator of cptsd? Long term (years) of no way to escape. Your brain and body, over thousands of days, accepts the reality that the threat is always there, every day. Once you escape that environment, you keep that mindset, causing all the cptsd symptoms. So isn't the only therapy really needed to convince yourself of the truth that the threat is gone? Whenever I manage to convince myself of that fact in the moment I feel all the weight falling off.
It’s so crazy in those rare few minutes you relax… like really, truly relax. The way others can. It’s the best feeling
Very good insight. Will try it out. One of my issues is that my current environment is actually quite threatening, and on multiple fronts.
@@viorelteodorescu6088 I hope you can change this soon and find a safe place in every manner of the word
I believe this is the best way to heal but it depends on the threat. My threat was never having a stable roof over our heads (way more complicated than that), as an adult I've failed in the financial/career department and in today's economy cannot offer myself that security yet so therefore cannot tell myself the threat is gone... It's a tough one as it depends on individual circumstances, I healed a lot in my early 20s by detaching from the world and accepting that even if I ended up a homeless elderly lady on the streets I'd still be the happy, innocent girl everyone once knew 💫
The issue is that you are emotionally hijacked so dont identify your CPTSD as the source of the distress
I am so incredibly thankful for this. I recently discovered that I had also both, C-PTSD and ADHD, so naturally, I looked for people that were similar and shared their story, and this is the first one that I saw yet and it hit me like a truck. I bawled my eyes out like I never did my whole life, and I finally realized the gravity of what I was going through and was simultaneusly glad for being at a safe space now where I can heal. Huge thanks for both of you. My heart goes out to you. Thank you so much.
I'm a grown man of 33 and hearing your story made me cry uncontrollably. It must have been hard growing up like that.
Same here at 34, It really got to me as I've been diagnosed with cptsd and ADHD recently. I can relate to her story 100%
I recently found out after almost 30 years of therapy and treatment that I have cptsd. When I read several times that people with cptsd say "I'm broken," or "I just wasn't made right." it sends chills down my spine, because those are the exact same things I've said for years! It's like a code breaker.
Does Penny make any more of those? Oh my gosh I would so love to have one.
Its kind of an odd experience to have felt alone in my differences all my life, and then going on yt, and hearing other people say exactly how I feel.. Not just this video, others too. Past experiences differ but results are much the same.
How is there only one comment? This woman is beautiful and inspiring, goddamn.
We agree :)
Because we all went and curled up in a ball for a bit first coz we didn’t wanna deal with it… I mean we have procrastination AND avoidance in spades with this as a dual diagnosis… 💁🏻
Zero dislikes tho jus sayin’ 😉
So amazing to see the emotional shifts talked about. I get the opposite shift… I spend all day getting myself back to a calm and regulated state - I dread bedtime / waking up in the morning as I have to start all over again from zero. I always wake up *reexperiencing* / already in a flashback - something about the transition from sleep to wakefulness creates the semi-dissociated state where this gets triggered -
but I rarely get it falling asleep at night (I guess its insomnia then and I am still awake enough to distract myself but not the other way, from deep sleep to wakefulness)
It’s so disheartening- all my progress is wiped out and I wake up dysregulated in a *danger mode* or fight / flight response everyday and always have since first being terrorized as a child.
It’s to the point where I deeply dread sleeping now and that’s a whole other set of problems. I didn’t know it wasn’t the normal way to wake up until I moved in with a partner - as I’d always lived alone.
I scared them, as id literally be asleep then suddenly spring out of bed and be upright with a look of rage on my face and my fists bunched, then just go about by day coz it didn’t register. But I know it’s the same as a waking dissociated *flashback* because I can move across the room (fleeing) before I come out of it in the exact same way and not realise.
I just assumed this is what people meant by leaping out of bed ready to start your day with *passion* 🤣 but nah Im just tearing a strip off someone who encroached on my boundaries in the past apparently. And it’s stress energy that’s stuck in my body not *passion* about life. I hate it.
It’s like a *FREEZE* response that’s trapped inside from the *overwhelm / shock* of incidents 40 years ago and my brain is forever stuck in a loop trying to respond differently
I’ve pulled all-nighters, until I crumple from exhaustion the next day … trying to hang onto my balanced mood from the previous day. I’ll refuse to stop moving or sit down in case I go to sleep and my mood changes. 😔
That’s where the ADHD kicks in… many projects and ideas get started and never finished during this phase as a way to hold onto my day and keep the “morning shift” away.
It’s made for a successful work life and an embarrassingly empty personal life. No one is looking for a middle aged person with these kinds of problems to spend their life with. That feeling of being *extra* leads to shame so I reject relationships before they can reject me and that I find to be the very essence of cPTSD. ❤️🩹
I do the same thing.
Very similar to my experience. Thanks for sharing
Thank you for sharing Penny! I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid and PTSD from the military. It’s hard to find much discussion on how these two work together.
I found that trauma awareness increased since undergoing the NHS ADHD diagnostic process - they ask a lot of questions about childhood. Problem is NHS Mental health or ADHD treatment provision is practically non-existent now, so I'm having to consider alternative options on a low income. Presently having talk therapy with Mind charity, which is free and has helped identify trauma but the therapy is limited time only. It would be good if there were more affordable options for ADHD treatment/support, particularly for unemployed and working-class adults, with mental or physical conditions where opportunities to improve and live a more meaningful life are more limited and harder to achieve, or at least that's what it feels like. Appreciate the perspectives shared here and grateful to gain better insight for my own journey through your videos. Thank you.
I relate heavily to this. Not enough resources for people who have nothing. I need therapy but all I can afford is meds through an app full of doctors who don’t actually care about you
Some practical books to buy and try “how to do the work” Nicol LePera “what you feel you can heal John Gray and forgiveness Iyanla Vanzant ....I say these because one is tapping, the other childhood recall, and one is writing. You are worth it. If you can access any of these books to get you through the rough times I hope you can find a way.
Thank you for sharing your story and strength. I have ADHD, SPD, Depression, and anxiety. It's so uplifting to see fellow neurodivergents finding a better place in life. I feel like I found myself falling down a similar path. I was finally diagnosed last year (I'm 28), and it explained so much. I found my own reasons for change with my diagnosis, and the meds have aided me in changing my life. If anyone is reading this and hasn't reached out for help yet for your disorders, please do! It is worth it, and it does get better.
My grandson, aged 10 was diagnosed with ADHD and given treatment. Now his mother, my daughter has been diagnosed too. I have a background of C-PTSD, as it is called. Alcoholic parent. Gross neglect in childhood. Aspects of this will have passed on.
When she mentioned that she felt "blank" and not suicidal but she understood people with suicidal thoughts, that really spoke to me because I'm feeling blank now. Thankfully I'm at a time where mental health is more understood and I'm glad I get to hear and read people like Penny express their experiences. Very enlightening stuff, thank you.
Omg. Same. I’ve felt like this a lot
Same 😔
Adhd ptsd sucks really bad especially if your in recovery. I've seen therapists and psychologists for years with NO improvement.what works best for me is reading a page out of 5 daily encouragement books and take omega 3 and vitamin D. Every time I meet someone new it's only a matter of time before they start encouraging me to get help for my adhd or they make fun of me. It's really super hard to go on being constantly reminded that stupid. I wish there was something or something that could help.
Try lions mane, it works wonders kind of
THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR PROCESS. It is a journey, and hearing this helps people not feel alone in the mess it can feel like.
Wow! Female version of me. So inspiring!
Keep up the great work Penny.
Live well folks!
Oh my goodness, also the evening where your emotions drop... So good to know we're not alone in this.
I have cptsd due to extreme trauma for 4 months straight... And i have add.. Diagnosed as a kid. . everytjing this woman said was like she read my mind. I am going to my dr to get tested again and out back on meds.... A decade + eithout meds hasnt been of any goodness too myself. Explains sooooo much
This great soul is a walking fountain of healing springs. I feel pure gratitude for her generous humble frankness, kindness toward others, & guideposts on a hard solo journey many are taking at this time of our species struggling to grow up into a wise & happy earth-helping people. Thank you, billions of times over!
Fuck! This is so relatable. The double diagnosis; the struggle understanding; the stop and start therapy. Wow!
Excellent use of the semi colon
@@amandagriffiths8280 hahah thank you! :')
amazing woman ..a true inspiration
I can’t describe in words my feelings. I am feeling so relieved and uplifted I guess… I probably have ADHD and finally everything makes sence.
Thank you Penny for your work and your story.
I am so grateful for this video. This resonates so much with me.
Thank you for your interview. Very encouraging
That was a very nice video. Thank you for this!
Bless and thank you for telling/sharing your story Penny. ❤️💛❤️
So so proud of her courage to be so open and frank about her experiences! thank you!!
this video , i feel like im listening myself talk ! so crazy !! ❤️
Pennys story resonates deeply for me. Grateful for this video. 🙏🌸
Thank you so much for this Penny - and Therapy Lab for giving the platform. So much to take from this. Thank you for sharing.
Would like to share the seminar posted by Dr. Russell Barkley covering adhd. It won't of itself determine one over the other [and i'm certainly not qualified] but to understand the nature of one may well set a course to address the other, if both apply that is.
Love always and wish the best, whatever the case!!
Thank you this video has made me realise do many things 💕
This is the only video I have found where I've related to almost everything that she's gone through I couldn't help but cry. My main take aways are things need to reveal in order to heal, what I'm really seeking is trauma therapy and I need to heal my inner child which is terrifying so baby steps for me atm.
Thank you Penny and thank you TherapyLab, I am newly diagnosed with adult adhd and cptsd and realized not too long ago that I have attachment trauma. I also work in sales. I think maybe I should start writing and doing art again. ❤
Amazing story and super relatable, thank you Harley and Penny for sharing
Incredible continuos journey. So much to take in with such thorough teenage/adult experiences and how to become self aware and learn about tackling trauma with resilience, guidance, and the need to heal.
Her voice is soothing
Definitely relate...I have cptsd adhd depression anxiety disorder its been a long struggle
Penny Belle is adorable! I hope the interview helps more ppl :0
What a beautiful person and fascinating speaker Penny is ❤! I’d love to buy some of her cards. The woman crying on the bus story was so touching. Great interviewer as well 🔥
Not only is it commendable that she's still working on it but it's necessary Healing is a journey and I could be wrong about this but I think we have to stay on that Journey for the rest of our lives
This video is incredibly helpful for me but I guess for a slightly different way. I have been a bit insecure of how I talk and am in conversations with people because of my adhd, so seeing someone else with adhd speak in such a similar way was incredibly validating. I honestly appreciate this video so much.
God bless you honey I have cptsd and ADHD also and just turned 50 yesterday and I'm not being treated for any of it I know it's hard and I'm so glad that you got some relief I know it sounds weird but I can almost feel the trauma or the anxiety in your voice I have that in my voice when I have anxiety it gets deep and it's hard to get the words out properly it's almost like a strain to speak anyway God bless you and keep you can you write as many books as you can to help others as I listen to I feel like that young lady is my tribe I'm surrounded by narcissist I'd give anything to just have someone around me that understands. Thankyou for helping people. We NEED AUTHENTICITY I believe beautiful things are born out of trauma once we can start pulling ourselves out of it it is a lifetime process but what the enemy means for our destruction God can use it for our good if we love him
Thank you for this, praying you find the time and healing you so desperately deserve Godbless 🙏🏻
When I hear stories from my fellow ADHD-ers I always relate. We go through a lot 😢
This has got to be the most relatable video to my own experience i have ever seen
Thank you so much for posting this ❤❤❤
This is a great video. I’m currently undergoing trauma therapy and dealing with a psychiatrist trying to find a medication that works for me. I’m also on medical leave too. It feels refreshing hearing someone else going through a similar experience as myself.
The story of my life...
It really shows that we're not alone...
Seek therapy, it's the only way to get beter with yourself and others. Leave the pain behind...😁
I've lived with ADD with a learning disability for as long as I can remember, I'm 40 now and I'm watching these videos and seeing s psych for a reason. I can relate to this lady! I had a few major incidences in life, and one was just in 2021 and I have been in the worst shape of my life, I feel my ADD has exploded 100% but learning about trauma it seems there is a major link. I'm learning that I may have been dealing with severe trauma since 3rd grade and not ADD with a learning disability and with each time something happened it compounded on top of growing up in an ill environment. I was always sent away to a prison type school and all I wanted was to stay with my mom. It hurt and still does. I was never a violent person. But the 80's was much different than now.
WELL DONE!!!
I just realized that I absolutely didn't listen because I got distracted by the fact that (imo) Penny has just an astonishing, beautiful voice.
Thank you
I found this amazing to watch. She's such a smart woman and has used that to navigate her way through her difficulties. I relate to the way she talks, as others have said. I love the comments below - so supportive and empathic. Neurodiverse people and those who have struggled have that, and nobody can take it away from them - empathy and a desire to stop others suffering the way they have. So, in a way, there's some positive that comes out of all the suffering. If I find someone who's earlier on in their journey than I am, and has further to go, I go all out to help them on their way. Videos like this are free self-help therapy for those who don't have the funds to pay for therapy. I got better at dealing with my childhood trauma with age, diagnosis of ADHD with Autism (via UK NHS after a 2 year wait), and a low dose of ADHD medication. Every day is a journey; I'm always evolving at least. It's getting better every day and I'm in my early 50's. Stay strong and know that you are unique; you are enough. Be kind to yourself and find people who love and care for you, rather than manipulate you - which can happen to people with ADHD xxx
Look up ☝️☝️that handle, he’s got the best tips and helps. I’ve microdosed shrooms for about 6 months now and it has really helped my CPTSD, anxiety and depression and I’ll recommend it for anyone.🙏🏻😢
Thank you for sharing your story! Very helpful!
Reparent your inner child from past trauma of open wounds from the past with self care
....As a child, they didn't really know that much about A.D.H.D. but they DID know that I DEFINETLEY had it. Its kinda painful to think that our parents and teachers who pretended to be experts, put labels of disability on us and told us there was something wrong with us, and in some cases, we were socially isolated and treated differently.. As if we somehow had limited cognitive potential and less productive members of society.... Or have lower value then normal children , On top of what we were already dealing with ( and in my experience, gave my parents permission to continue to be abusive towards me ) Without understanding the cause or that it was never our fault or personal defect. After being hidden from view and interactions with my teachers for years and treated as a retard and put on meds to help people be able to deal with me better that also caused the same people to judge me for taking "meth"...... hearing this is kinda painful, makes me angry and loose faith a little more in society and psycology. This somehow feels inexcuseable to me. I mean..... WTF? All I needed was some extra hugs.... :(
I feel for you. It is very much a case of " they are down, so let's kick them in the teeth". Some people will smell your weakness and try and exploit you.
Can we get a link to her etsy shop or her website please?
Surprised it wasn't in the description!
Pennybellecreations and pennybelle on IG
Have adhd too..almost same life story.. (her fast talking, her body language when i am talking look up right left... Too 😉) To fight with this, learns lots of knowledge.. Cause we are working on ourselfes.. Know our body, feeding feeling, ,controlling solving our souls ext.. There are lots of positive ways to see too.. Look there..
I have similar issues cpsd
It doesn't matter what we call it so much as we recognize it for what it is - human pain.
I am 52 diagnosed December 2020.
I'm just coming out of Trauma by my manager, after being Gaslighted.
I really respect her for being so open and honest and transparent on her blog, talking about and showing her personal experiences and feelings. I really hope & pray that I have that courage to help others so that they wouldn’t feel alone, so they’d feel relief in sharing. Really inspiring! Loved this talk. I’ve never been diagnosed but I seriously just suspect I have cptsd
thank you. that's all i can manage to say
I have ADHD but I'm starting to think I have PTSD. It's confusing.
same. I think only treatment can tell if it's just ADHD or just CPTSD or both.
It’s common to have both
I had to research to make sure I don't have ADHD. I alhave a 9 on the ACE score and i certainly have CPTSD....it all makes sense now.
Yeah, me too. I have been diagnosed with both, very hard to understand.
Adhd usually come with other disorders. Its called comorbidity and it is very common. Some may suffer from depression, anxiety, bipolar, bpd etc. According to Google comorbidity of adhd and other disorders is between 60% and 80%.
The quick fixes, my best friends.
Also the mood drop in the evenings, so painfuly relatable.
Would you say that bullying at school could also cause cptsd?
I have ADHD but I also feel like I have a lot of trauma in my system and it's making my executive function worse and making it harder to utilize the strengths of ADHD. I didn't have a particularly violent childhood. My father was an alcoholic and always absent, but mom protected me from all of that. The bullying however remains vivid in my memory
Adderall has been incredibly helpful for me. 42 male USA.
TY,
Meditation is helpful
Namaste
🕊️Peace🤸Shalom🐵
It's like talking about me, and now I feel stuck to not be productive, its frustrating
You feel exactly how I feel 😔
What do you suggest for a lifetime of trauma going back to 4 years old when I was taken from my mother and raised in a group home for 10 years the trauma began before I ever got to know my inner child. Well I basically never got to be a child so how do I heal that aspect of me???😞
I have cptsd and adhd.
I dont think ive ever related to something more in my life
Do you see people personally? Where do I find trauma focused therapy that insurance will cover. My psychiatrist keeps trying to get me to go to a place I don't want to deal with, you seem like a soft person and that's key to me.
Hi, thank you so much, I don't know what too say,
I relate 100% , I want help in so many ways. To start, 16 years in a narcissistic relationship times 4, yes times 4, her kids were moved in with-in a month, being that I can relate, I shouldn't have too explain the sex , emotional and mental abuse , on top of the children that had to watch , I miss them so much , being I was the mother and father too my grandkids,
Right now I want too delete this, but i want help. I'm a US veteran living at a VA program, the meds are good for sleeping but are for other disorders,
How do I bring my self diagnosis too their attention so I can go on with my life,
I truly like your therapy but I stumble in motivation.
Thank you,
Leonard
P.S.
I've been "discarded " from life for 2 years. And I don't have anybody too trust so sharing gets the some responses.
Totally can't watch a 48 minute video. Any chance someone can give me the cliffnotes version?
(Not a criticism on the content, I'm sure it's excellent. I just can't pay attention that long.)
It's like you read my mind. Was skimming the comments to get the details. Haha
It’s also a podcast! Why not listen while you’re doing another task? Like cleaning, washing up, walking, driving, ironing, etc? 🥰
LoopyLou Ooh, that would probably work better for me! Thanks for the suggestion!
Turn off the screen and just listen to it. Strangely enough, i use podcasts like this to help me go to sleep when I wake up in the middle of the night
1. Listen on double speed
2. Listen while doing chores, or while walking if you have premium:)
These are my ways
I have ADHD and PTSD but I believe I have c-PTSD. But anyways I'm at a point in my life where everything is coming at me at once. If I havnt tried to hang myself in a county jail I believe I would have killed my self by now .. but I realized the impact it would have been on my kids. I'm not gonna go into detail about my life other than it wasnt a good one. Very traumatic. Been on my own since I was emancipated at age 15. So never went to high school I'm self taught...but I have come to terms with my self and realized the only help i would get is to go to prison. Not rehab not counseling. I needed a reality check and an excuse to separate myself from the toxic relationship i was in. Boy did i regret that one but I'm glad i did at turn same time. .. so I'm considered a infj personality type based off the Myers Briggs scale. I'm very emotional and i seem to be the one that everyone comes to for help.. but I'm at a point where i never felt so lonly. I want to be alone but i dont want to be in my head overthinking all night long. Ibget 4 if that hours sleep a night that doesn't bother me but after i went sober 3 years ago not only am i dealing with my addiction recovery but I'm fighting emotions that i hid for over 25 years I self medicated. But I really need some help really really bad I dont feel like I'm suicidal but I'm ok with death and I embrace the fear that comes with death. But I cant get right. I alof a sudden feel like I dont know who I am yet at the same time I'm me . I just dont trust anyone who gets a paycheck to help me. My mind tells me they don't care. Ot I havnt found anyone who shows the expressions of emotion that matched their words so I loose interest with who ever says one thing but show another. So I'm just asking whoever is reading this to please contact me. And talk to me. I just want to explain shit that I know no one will understand which Iok with but for me to sit in my head is killing me all I do is cry and puke. Loosing weight and my acute rhabdomyolysis is acting up to the point I feel like just letting my kidneys shut down so my kids will think it was just a disease that killed me. But I'm scared that it would cause trauma to them. I need help I need a friend all my 5 closest ones are gone from heroin. I have no desire to do drugs but unworried I'll give in. Pot gives me anxiety anymore . Who ever readsnthisbplease contact me. Talk to me. 4174102464. Gabe mandrell -facebook
Gabe, it's been 2 mos. since you've posted this. Have you had an opportunity to talk with someone? I'm hopeful that "yes", is the answer. If not, respond to this...I'll listen to you.
@@Eric-tj3tg to be completely honest I dont know what I'm doin. I have so much and alot going on just piling on top of one another and I'm faced with so much but if ya serious I would like to vent but I'm also wanting to write memoirs on my life and how i got to where I'm at physically amd mentally but I been through so much I wouldn't know where to begin.
Gabe, i feel powerfully that you are the vessel that is healing generations of trouble, hardship, conflict, with your bare hands & brave heart at this turbulent time in human history. Others i know (and this lady being interviewed) are doing this too. It's lonely, hard, freeing & so needed by our ancestors & your lineage & all humans. Please know the immense value of your difficulties & the unseen but profound gratitude & love that is cheering you on & understanding every setback & tear that is part of this rugged journey. God bless Gabe. (My brother's little grandson has your name. His dad was an abusive addict, so my brother now is his father figure & his young mom is getting trained in counseling families with violence in their present or past. Gabe is growing up free spirited, joyful & outdoorsy, despite a few spells of rage & grief. May we all grow up at this time! It's hard!)
Hi Gabe. Please seek professional psychological help ASAP. It is very important for your children and you to seek help. You need ppl who are well trained and prepared to help you in a clinical and strategic therapeutic approach so that change can take place. It is not likely that reaching out to vent to total strangers has neither a predictable positive outcome for you but it is also not healthy for someone else to having to listen to all your traumas and what not you struggle with. You need to learn to start thinking about what you need to do for yourself and really for your children. They deserve a parent who is able to seek help when there are obvious struggles. And clearly so you do suffer. That is very obvious. Further it seems very obvious to think you do suffer from a rather complex mental condition wether it might be trauma or whatever else it is...please please do consider working toward improvement of your mental health with PROFESSIONALS. We cannot offer you any adequate help and shouldn’t be held responsible by you to make you feel better. Only you can do that for yourself. Only you can start this process of recovery, of healing. You and your children deserve it. I am wishing you much strength and sending warm well wishes your way.
Those who replied I thank you so very much I'm just now seeing these and honestly I really needed those. To. E alone and struggle seems endless. I'm getting therapy but apparently its gonna take alot of energy to face things i dont know if i even want to but i have to so i can learn to move forward amd learn how to cope with situations. But worst thing is i got fired from discriminatory situatiins and wrongful termination and ofcoarse that hasn't helped matters but I think with the few around me it's all I need amd of course. Your guys encouragement because that there alone is a driving force we all need and unfortunately some of us don't and never had that. Hell even nourishment so to know there is a stranger whonshoelwa more empathy that the ones who say they care means alot to me. So than k you all. With love
i don't know if this could be helpful to anyone but i've been reading so many neurotypical self-help books for the past 5 years and yet the books that have helped me the most are.... biographies. especially Steve Jobs'. I also liked Elon Musk's and Walt Disney's. reading about people who are out of the ordinary makes me feel better about myself
⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️
Are you fucking serious leaving out the trigger warnings of that lad killing himself? This video was perfect until then and now I'm reduced to tears.
For fucks sake, this is literally what is going right now with my company, where they put themselves over the people who do the work. Imagine shooing away someone needing help cos you felt pressure. Fucking hell.
She sounds just like recoverymum on RUclips. Her channel is about BPD though.
It’s a shame it costs so much to get diagnosed for it I don’t know how I can receive help
❤❤
i wish they threw medication at me. getting ADHD meds is so difficult.
Child unsafety only ever make Children’s and families lives worse. Her mother must have been suffering A LOT of grief from having her daughter removed 😢
Ferapy. Lol cute
I have no idea how anyone can be a therapist and listen to this sh*t all day 😕
Glad you aren’t one
wow. listening to this is like listening to my own life story. thank you so much, Penny
in EMDR therapy so “I’m good, It’s new, Its uncomfortable” FEEL THAT
Thank you
in EMDR therapy so “I’m good, It’s new, Its uncomfortable” FEEL THAT
in EMDR therapy so “I’m good, It’s new, Its uncomfortable” FEEL THAT