One big difference i’ve noticed is that when you’re in love you only see the good things about the other person but when you love someone you accept all their flaws and still love them all the same
@@little_swan07hey:) limerence is more obsession-like, accompanied by extensive fantasizing about the loved object, it is a deep romantic longing for another, usually because there is some "emptiness" inside you, you are trying to fill in, maybe lack of self love, that wasn't properly addressed, etc...and one of the signs is also refusing to see the bad traits of the personality of the loved one and seeing only the good traits. Limerence can just suddenly go away, or last unreasonably long time, like, years,...people describe that this intense longing for the loved one in limerence is so strong they could even feel physical pain in their body. It is similar to falling in love, but there are some differences. Maybe check the book Love and limerence by Dorothy Tennov.
Its a very famous qoute I am sure everyone has heard it.. "When you Like a flower, you just pluck it. But when you Love a flower, you water it daily. One who understands this, understands life."
To be honest, it took me a long time to finally realise what love actually was. I always thought love felt like butterflies in your stomach and happiness when you heard the other person's name or voice. I always thought love was something you'd feel so strongly that you wouldn't miss it. You'd feel it instantly. Because of how I thought, I never stayed in relationships for very long. Until I met my current boyfriend. We used to fight a lot. I used to start fights because of my anxiety (amongst other issues). I always thought "I can't love him. I don't feel those sparks. I don't feel those good feelings. When the hell am I going to feel that?". Whenever I asked people what love feels like, they'd tell me: "It's feeling happy when you're around that person." "You just know." "You feel butterflies!" And i'd end up frustrated because I hadn't felt those things with anyone before. Of course I knew what attraction felt like. I was in relationships for a reason but I always wondered "Do I love this person?" I've only recently (as in this year) realised what it means to love someone. You're not always going to feel those butterflies or that intense excitement when you hear their name or voice. You're not going to find them perfect forever. You'll eventually come to realise there are things you don't like about them. Things that you find weird/gross/annoying. Love is something you work at. Love is when you want to keep that relationship going. When you will do anything to keep it strong and healthy. When you won't just leave them because of something you don't like about them or something as minor as that. *TL;DR: I figured out what it means to love someone.*
That’s true indeed, positive thoughts makes positive emotions which in turn makes positive energy with a higher vibration thus attracting positive things into your life. It’s as simple as that. Lol 😂
The 7 main differences between "Love" and "Being in love": 1) Choice vs Emotion 2) Gradual vs Immediate 3) Lasting vs Fleeting 4) Challenging vs Easy 5) Sacrifice vs Support 6) Partnership vs Ownership 7) How THEY Feel vs How YOU Feel
I both love and am in love with my boyfriend. The chemistry and sparks between us are unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, and the communication flows in such a healthy way that it’s no problem setting and respecting boundaries for each other. We talk about what is troubling each other and have mutual trust in one another. I’ve never been so happy with someone before :) ❤️
@@kodiak9079 they were just commenting about themselves and their opinion. It doesnt matter if anyone asked. People have freedom of speak so why does it matter if anyone asked. No one ever asks you to give your opinion on social matters or politics, some people just do. You are probably single to respond something like that. Did anyone ask you what you thought? no, so that doesnt mean you cant comment either.
"Falling in love" is the initial chemical reaction and attraction on meeting someone you click with. As time passes and you get to know the person, love will either grow or fade depending on the relationship and how you are treated. To be in love and to like someone, eventually turns to love. This is the magical trinity bestowed on few.
The trick is figuring out the difference between loving someone you consider family and loving them as an SO, I sadly have found little help for this problem
I like this because it's the first thing I've seen that didn't portray being in love as something that's magical and above your other love filled relationships. People really act like the moment they're in love with someone that person is the only one that matters and neglect their other relationships with their friends and family
+Psych2Go 0:42 *Choice* vs. *Emotions* 1:18 *Gradual* vs. *Immediate* 1:57 *Lasting* vs. *Fleeting* 2:40 *Challenging* vs. *Easy* 3:17 *Sacrifice* vs. *Support* 3:56 *Partnership* vs. *Ownership* 4:27 *How They Feel* vs. *How You Feel*
Crushes and being in love with someone is what most people feel and why they break up quickly. Loving someone is a choice and not as easy to pin down but it’s warm and comforting. It’s a safe place when you’re scared and a rope to hang on to when you want to dive through life head first. It’s never easy and sometimes it’s painful but it never fades. In fact it grows stronger the more you try to resist it. Thank you so much for this channel, you have no idea how much you have helped me through the years.
My understanding of loving someone vs being in love is quite different. I see loving someone as something that happens gradually as you continue to spend more time and become more attached to someone. It’s not necessarily a choice since you don’t necessarily see it when it’s happening but at some point you will realize that you love them weather it’s after s fight or something where you almost lost them etc. It’s simply an attachment that you may or may not want but how they make you feel has you attached to them. And being in love or falling in love is more conscience. It’s having a strong admiration for having them and wanting to give your all to that person etc... it’s more of an excitement feeling as described in this video and you can fall in love with someone over and over throughout a relationship too.
I love this, because I became concerned if my love for my boyfriend was real or not as to if I was “in love” or actually “love” him. I really enjoyed the you put it “falling in love with them again and again” which is definitely something that happens to me when I see him supporting me and being there for me when I need him has me falling in love with him over and over again which makes me love him flaws and all over all. Btw it’s whether* not weather.
I think choice here is more or so deciding to be with a person because you love them. However, I like how you clarified what choice mainly can be used as: realizing you love them not choosing to. You can’t necessarily choose to love someone if the feeling of love simply isn’t there.
@@aestheticgcddess thank you for the correction I’m French haha. But Yes agree with you, I’ve been with my partner for two years and can relate. I love him even when im upset or irritated by him but other times he does things that remind me why I love him and. In those moments, I fall in love with him all over again.
I know my gf doesn't love me anymore and im living in denial. She wont leave me because she knows shes all i have and i think she likes the attention. Crying has become a norm for me and i know im hurting myself in the long run. Can you guys do a video on how to let go.
I feel like my boyfriend wrote this. But I really do love him. He just has so much self hate and I don't know how to show him I care. I try and try but he can't see
I used to think that love was about the butterflies, cute names, and having the exact same interests as me. I've been in past relationships where I thought I was in love even though they were only things that were very superficial and that they were my source of happiness, that I would be miserable without a partner. From my parents, I learned that you can't offer what you don't have. You can't bring happiness into a relationship if you don't already have it being single. From the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, I learned that real love is more than a feeling, it's a principle. Meaning the commitment is still there even when the sparks are not. It endures and bears all things, including flaws, differences, and disagreements. You'll only be as young as you are now ever again, so in the mean time, look at being single as a gift rather than a curse because there are so many opportunities you can take right now that you wont be able to once you finally settle down. So if anyone out there is panicking about being alone, or feeling insecure, don't be. You have a choice in how to look at your situation. I hope you make a great one.
If loving someone seems or feels like you have to constantly punish yourself, you _still_ don't truly love him/her. Or yourself, for that matter. Balance is key. ;)
what if its like this : i'm the kind of people who cut toxic people easily out of my life and didn't even hesitate. but i still try to keep him even though he's toxic and not good for me. is it love or what?
Being at a certain age and stage in life and after sustaining a long term relationship it is my belief that being "in love" is the romantic phase of love. It can grow and develop into love. To love someone is to see ones flaws and imperfections and still care enough to stand the the trials and tribulations that come with time and being able to withstand them.
well for me falling in love was quick and gradual at the same time. When I met my boyfriend I knew there was something special in him and between us. In which I greatly wanted to pursue that. But it took time to understand him and know that I can love him for who he is in that moment and I did! Even after this realizing that I was in love with him hit me like a bus. It's different for everyone. The big test to being in love and you know your in love is when they might hurt you greatly with something they did/said (and this was only a one time thing) You can't help but still love them and the thought of them being with someone else makes you want to cry. You have the strength to forgive and move forward and they have the strength to do the right thing.
When I first met my boyfriend it was love at first sight. After about a week I knew I was in love with him. And after 6 months of us being together I found out I was pregnant with our daughter. Now 16 years later we are still very much in love with each other and deeply love each other. We have 2 teenagers together and currently expecting our third child in a month! So everything that was explained in your video I can relate to. Love is supporting each other thru good times and bad. Being in love can turn to true love/soulmates!
Our situation is similar. We met and I knew he was the one . I was pregnant 8 weeks later and married 6 months to the day . Our big kids are 29 and 30 now . We have two granddaughters . Been married 31 years . I had a teenaged boyfriend for 5 years before but knew he wasn’t the one . Met my husband a week after my ex and I broke up . Never looked back !
2:00 “People tend to fall out of love just as easily as they fall in love…being in love can be as fickle & fragile as it is ardent and exciting…Love is more steadfast & enduring bc it grows stronger overtime. Being in love with someone is easy bc it’s mostly a matter of chemistry & attraction. All you care about is that high they give you…when you truly love someone & not just in love it takes a lot of effort to make things work”
Loving someone is a deep feeling of great fondness and it comes with time and giving and taking naturally. Little expectations and total acceptance of one another. Being in love is a chemistry.. Its more about physical attraction dreams and unrealistic expectations but glorious moments to ponder over. Its not stable and doesn't last for long unless it grows into true love facing the tests of reality, time and challenges together in a solid partnership. That's rare!
My definition of being in love is that you give your all to that person in hopes of them feeling the same way and reciprocating. When the partner you are in love with doesn’t reciprocate at the same level & energy, you start to withdraw and it fizzles out. When you love someone it happens gradually, there’s times when you give a little more than the other person but then the other person rises up to that level and mutual respect and love for one another grows deeper.
True Love is without condition. You Love Someone bcoz you Love them. Not bcoz you need anything in return. Love can be non reciprocal. Sometimes in life Love does not keep two together . But Miles apart without contact Love can still be there. Mother' s love for instance is so pure Whether her childrenare with her or not. Her love always flow. No doubt than it is considered to be pure and divine. Love does not require constant meeting , mating and attachment.
wow . this is real . i have never thought about this . sometimes it's interchangeable . but definitely love is on and out in the bedroom when the sex is coming . i'm used to having the best experience thx to natural drops which boost your energy like nothing
I see comments saying they didn’t feel what being in love is portrayed as in stories (butterflies, blushing, etc.) but rather what is platonic love for me. If you’re torn between loving and being in love with someone just know one thing: it’s different for E V E R Y O N E. I thought I felt romantic feelings for someone but realized it’s platonic. Yes, it may actually be romantic and I may be confused, I’ll figure out with TIME. I don’t mean to make you more confused with this, I just want you to know that being in love and loving is different for everyone. It shouldn’t ever be generalized about what it feels like. Hell, even this video is for POSSIBLE advice. It’s for help! It’s meant to help figure yourself out. Not tell you what to do or what to feel. Anyways, good luck figuring yourself out and have a great rest of your day/night 😌
¿? Didn't you want to mean "Me gustas" and "Te quiero / Te amo" (this last two are different between them, but no one has that fleeting and non-lasting connotation)? I barely would say "te quiero" to someone that I do not think as dear to me.
@@Psych2go Translated to English both mean I love you, which I think is confusing for english-speakers! But "te quiero" is way softer than "te amo", it's like a combination of "I care about you" and "I like you", and it's commonly said to people besides a romantic partner, like a family member or a friend. "Te amo" can be more intimate and even though you can say it to any loved one, it's usually only said to a significant other.
You just made me realize i have been in love with my partners but i never loved them. It sounds weird but i get it now. I am able to love, I just didnt find the person im ready to love yet.
I was actually worried after some time of seeing my boyfriend that I didnt develop as passionate feelings for him as he did for me. So I was often criticizing myself since he is so good for me. Now I see Im probably on the good path:) Thank u!
This video just reaffirmed that I truly love my best friend of 9 years and that she loves me. I fell in love with her 7 years ago and those feelings are still here. Every single time I think of her I smile. I hear her voice and it fills me with joy and calms me. I see her face and still get butterflies after all this time, every time. We speak and try to at least video chat every single day. She texts me and I immediately get excited. I love her, but I am also still in love with her after all this time. Every moment we spend together is an irreplaceable gift that I cherish with my whole heart. It's still just as exciting to spend time with her as the day I realized I loved her.
4 and a half years now and I still get that butterfly feeling whenever I get a text from my gf. I love her more than anyone else on this planet but I will never stop adoring this woman like a playground crush
this video randomly popped up on my feed and it's funny because I was actually gonna break up with my boyfriend because I'm not in love with him but I love him but now I've just realized that that's actually healthier than being in love
This is what I understand as the difference between infatuation and love. Only the terminology is different. Infatuation can lead to true love, or it can fizzle out. Friendships that slowly develop into love over time are usually a much more stable basis.
Loving someone is conditional. When challenges arise, people are more likely to exit. And if there is a break up, at some point the two won't love each other anymore... Being in love is appropriately regarded as unconditional. It is much, much, much rarer. It persists well beyond the end of a relationship. If separated, even years later, the two can still feel each other and are linked forever. They never totally unlink from the person and un-admittedly cross the others' mind frequently. Most people have loved several, but have never been in love to know the difference. The video describes a crush/lust and love, but not being in love. It's the most powerful thing that can ever happen to you.
I never felt in lovr with my boyfriend and he seemed to have falling for me and i was guilting myself for.not loving him the way he loves me . this video cleared everything for me . got me to understand it all and it is the first guilt free breathe i take a long time i couldnt thank you enough
I had both. True story, you can be in love with someone you love long term, and its amazing. He passed away last month. He was one of the greatest experiences of my life.
this detached perspective is so true to the aro / ace experience. in a world where so many people dont exactly recognize how to 'love' again and again is a continuous and conscious 'choice'. :) its a disservice to ourselves & our loved ones to ignore this, and keep looking for external validation... the affectionate guise of being in love to temporary infatuation, and like to aesthetic attraction! very well said !! i always thought i was wrong :) it just turns out wveryone else just has a different perspective on how love should be.
I like the idea of being loved but not the idea of being IN love, I genuinely don't feel l would find true love or even love someone at such an extent cause I'm selfish and get bored easily
After 8 years, my then boyfriend and I broke up after he contracted corona and we didn’t see each other for 3 months. I wasn’t expecting that outcome and it’s been extremely hard for me to let him go. Recently he told me, “I still love you, but it’s not the same strong fire love.” That broke me even more because I still feel that way about him. Now I wonder how long ago he stopped loving me. In January it will be a year since we broke up and I still sob almost every night. I feel so depressed and lonely (I literally have no friends after moving to a different city an hour away) after our break up. And of course I miss him dearly.
cos covid? And time apart? Should make the heart grow fonder.. wasnt the one for u bby; after 5 years he decided to fall out of love.. so i know exactly how u feel. but i also know he is the one for me. This hurts reading this, cos the insta trauma.. i cry every night too and have nightmares and tremors from anxiety...
if he is always looking for that "fire love" i can tell you he will be going relationship after relationship seeking the "high" thats addiction / infatuation - not love. I know this is hard to hear rn and it hurts but you are better off fniding someone who will grow in building a loving relationship with you; rather than someone who doesnt want to be around when things become challenging or is dictated by their feelings rather than making sound choices. Would love an update on your life since this comment!
With my boyfriend, I think it started off as an infatuation. Or as ‘bring in love’. But now I think I just love him. Like he’s someone I depend on but also depends on me. We share our truths with each other and understand each others flaws and weaknesses. We can’t always be around each other since we both are busy adults but we do what we can to make it work and put in the effort to be there for each other. At first it was self indulging on my part when it came to emotion. I liked how he made ME feel without really caring how HE felt and that was bad. Now, after sticking with him even after those fleeting feelings left, he is still the one I want. He’s not someone I’m tied to purely on emotion anymore, he is now my choice. I chose to love him because he’s worth it to me. This really helped me see that at first I was just in love and didn’t really love him. Now I do love him. So thanks. 🙏
This wasn't the video I was looking for, but the video I needed. I thought I was doing something wrong, or just not doing anything, because I couldn't fall in love with anyone and as always started looking for solution on youtube. After I haven't found anything I just scrolled videos and clicked the one with a cute thumbnail, and it actually helped more than anything else could. Thank you
I thought it was just a crush, can't bring myself to admit that I love him, yet this makes it sound like I'm _In Love_ which is rather scary, but at the same time, very refreshing 😊😘
I appreciate the descriptions given. That said, for the longest time now, I've made sure to ignore the feelings of being in love. It never ends well for me.
When I met my now boyfriend of almost 6 years it was love at first sight for both of us. It was a connection I had never felt before in my 25 years of life. What's made our relationship so strong is that we both love each other for the people we are flaws n all.
You just described the difference between love and lust. Loving someone can be one sided but being in love with someone implies that it's a two way partnership. Being in love means the other person returns your love and desires your happiness too.
Being in love means the other person returns your love⁉️ This is not the rules but the exception actually! Most of the time when we are in love with someone that person never returns our love, that’s why it’s hard when the loved one doesn’t love you back anymore, because he/she stopped to love you in returns🤷🏾♀️
This makes so much sense. In love is fleeting, that resonated so much. Always though in love was the desired goal but it’s so hindsight obvious to me now that to Love is enough..in love is never enough n is affected by how the person makes you feel. How my children make me feel will never change my love for them but a bf is on shells if he makes me feel certain ways one time too many..thank u so much
I definitely started watching this video thinking that being in love was better than loving someone and I’m seeing now that I love him and I’m not obsessively in love with him. I want to be there for him through it all :)
My boyfriend and I were together for a year and just yesterday, we broke up. He fell out of love with me and it damn near killed me hearing him say that he loved me but didnt feel in love with me anymore. Our love was so passionate last october when we got together and now november 2021 comes and its as if everything just died out. I love him dearly, and have accepted all of his flaws. We left things off in a goodish way. We text and called eachother a little just to see how our days went at school or work. We laughed together even, but it didnt fully feel the same. He came to visit me today at my house and I saw his face was stricken with sadness and guilt over our relarionship and wanting to call it off between us. But after giving him some gifts I wanted him to keep and forever treasure, and after walking with him back to the bus stop near my house, I could tell that he truly still loved and cared about me and was overall glad he got to see me. Especially when I was heading back to my place, he called me just to see that I had made it home safely. Im incredibly lucky to still have him be a part of my life, but my heart still yearns for him to be the love of my life. Its so hard with all of these feelings..
literally the video called it that first 6-12 months.. where the in love part starts . .goin another way.. that is because it isnt real love - it can become that but it has to be for BOTH parties wanting to make things work; if you keep choosing guys from broken homes or abusive homes; generally they don't even know HOW to make things work long term because they themselves had no way of a rolemodel for that; so they would need to work harder at it.. and many just dont want to - move forward and know that you will meet someone you can CHOOSE to love who will also CHOOSE you back to stay even in the hard times too when the "feels" are long gone but they STILL want to make things work..
Love hurts but real and genuine love is always worth it. And you never really realize just how much you love somebody until you turn to share you’re accomplishment or your day or a laugh with somebody and you realize how much you miss them when they’re not there…
@@Psych2go Yes, that would be an excellent topic to cover. I actually have a whole list of ideas. I'm pretty sure if I spoke to some of your team members, we would have some pretty interesting conversations.
i never had many positive examples of love to look up to besides movies and used to have low standards due to years of low self esteem and was in a cycle of self destructiveness with bad people until i met my last boyfriend. i'm pretty sure i fell in love. we were best friends for 2 years already and he was one of my go-to's for anything, whether it's emotional support, a laugh, boredom... We came into a relationship and it was not what I expected at all, nothing like those movie best-friends-turned-lovers tropes. i had anxiety about him leaving due to abandonment issues, he had trouble being aloof with affection and not understanding my needs, and that's what made me realize how different loving someone as a friend and being in love is. we worked through our issues and talked so much to get to a true point of understanding, respect, and love. we were both in love at that point and loved each other so deeply. i never realized what it was like to be treated so well. he supports all my dreams, translates all the feelings i cant explain, gives me new perspectives, calms me down, makes me discover things about myself that i never knew, and i learned how to love someone deeply and do the same for him. it got complicated when he had to break up with me because our parents would never accept our relationship (religious conflicts :/) and would kill us and it hindered our plans for a future together. it took forever to move on and im still in the process of doing so, it was the most painful thing ive ever went through. i had never made it this far past the honeymoon phase with someone and we both grew so much together that now that we're still back to best friends again but know each other on a whole new intimate level since we dated, i no longer know the difference between love and being in love anymore, since we're both still there for each other in all the same ways just as we were when we dated just minus the physical intimacy and exclusivity, but we're both still so special to each other. help, i dont know the difference anymore and i dont think i'll find someone like him ever again. sorry for the long comment just needed to rant im frustrated, my views on romance, friendship, and connection are just so muddled at this point, sometimes i think he was my soulmate but maybe just right person wrong time. it's ridiculous, i've been watching videos like these and reading novels like pride and prejudice just to help me figure out the difference
is it possible to love someone first (as a friend), then gradually fall in love with them? i feel/experience signs of both for a certain someone so i think that's the case with me. although we aren't really close "friends" anymore due to personal reasons (we're still acquainted and in good terms though we lost contact ever since the pandemic began), i still care about her deeply not only because i'm in love with her but because she was my friend and she's a very special person to me. regardless of what happened, i feel like my love for her (platonically and romantically) continues to grow and won't fade away anytime soon. i'm not sure if it's influenced by the feeling of being in love, but what i do know is that whether i'm in love with her or not, she'll always be important to me and i'm always gonna love her.
This is life-saving!!! Thank you so much! I'm dating someone and wondered if I wasn't being honest because I didn't feel the crazy "in love" feelings although I care a lot about this person and want to grow with them. I appreciate to know that choosing love rather than just feeling it is what will usually bring the most lasting and selfless love and joy with your chosen partner.
I have experienced both. Was in love w/ someone I didn’t really know that well for a couple years & didn’t see any negative traits. Currently love someone (mutually) that I know isn’t perfect, though I accept them flaws & all, as they do for me.
When you loved a boyfriend once but have been "in love" with multiple boyfriends because of that time in your life.... Makes you feel or think that love is actually better than in love. Wow. Kind of reminds me of what we ourselves learn as we get older.
In all my life, i know that, somewhere there is difference, like, i can love a friend without being in love with (him/her) but i didn't see it clearly, this video made a strong difference and i totally agree, that was so useful thank you soo much!!🧡
That pretty much sums it up.. there is a difference no doubt. The endurance and work has so much to say about BEING IN LOVE AS PARTNERS.. and yes it can be easy when we know exactly what we want.
I recently developed ocd, and by recently I mean 2 years ago was when I first started ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. It started with fears that I didn't love my girlfriend because the honeymoon phase had faded away and being in love became love. However, I didn't see it that way as I was focused on the easy feelings and not the hard choices. Fast forward to now and, while I still have intrusive thoughts about how I feel about her, I have learned that love is so much more than the butterflies. Now, if I could stop thinking I'm a bad person because of new disturbing thoughts I would never act on, I'd be a very normal person. Ocd is so much fun!
I’m going through a similar situation right now. Only, in my case, I’m with someone that (unlike all the other crushes in my life previously) I don’t feel butterflies, but I feel very drawn to them and love to be around them, and they make me feel more comfortable and safe than anyone ever has. ❤️🩹
love this....tried to explain this to many a man I dated. Why I cannot be with someone obsessed with being in love, no thanks. Love is a choice, like being happy. I prefer the decision kind, not the emotional kind.
Loving someone is about how they make you feel, being in love is about how you make them feel. ... Loving someone means you are only concerned with how he makes you feel loved, special, or appreciated. Being in love means you worry about how to make him feel loved as well, because that's equally as important to you.
Being in love is feeling while loving someone is a choice and a decision. If you love someone it means you want them to be happy even though the happiness they want doesn't include you. Being in love with someone is temporary because it will fade like all other feelings but loving someone is enduring and long lasting because it's a choice you make every day in spite of how the person made you feel.
Ive always grown up thinking being "in love" was more deeper than loving them. You can love your friends, family, people in general, love brownises, chocolate etc. I would say love is a very flexible word. But when I say i love someone, the question is always "but are you in love with them?" And i guess thats why to me being in love is corresponded to a deeper feeling than loving them. But i can understand both.
It’s interesting because my words for these definitions are different. I see true, lasting love as “in love”, and what this video described as being “in love” is just a crush to me. I don’t really count it as love at all. But everyone can call it what they think suits it best, as long as they understand what it really means.
Older couples who have been “In Love” will tell you what it’s like. Being in love isn’t fleeting, it isn’t fast, it doesn’t escape. You’re IN it. You can love someone all day but to be IN love with them means they become your world. You become enveloped with them and nothing makes you happier than being with them or planning for the future or just sitting in silence with them. Their existence alone makes you happy. And when they’re gone it feels like your heart got ripped out, it feels like you lost your home, like everything you know gets flipped upside down. I’ve loved people and them leaving doesn’t hurt me or make me upset or make me cry. But I’ve been in love with people, and when they leave it’s catastrophic. My heart aches for them and wants them and only them. I won’t even bother with anyone else because that person I was in love with became my everything. So there is a major difference. This seems like being “In Love” has been confused with Trauma Bonding or Lust. And that’s not the case. People who have been in love don’t quickly move on to another partner, people who have been in love don’t want to give up on the person they’re in love with. So to me and many other people who have been in love and have also experienced trauma bonding this is a slap to the face. Being In Love means only that person can fill your heart and complete you. But loving someone means you have room for others. To me being in love is romantic, while loving is platonic.
I care about many people, but the people I love I love unconditionally. No matter how much they drive me crazy. Just like my family, and siblings. I might not like you sometimes, but I'll always love you even when I'm angry.
I think that both of these can be felt. Love is definitely a choice but you can also grow to be in love with someone. So I think that they go hand in hand.
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Difference 1: Being in love with your Diamonds in Minecraft is different than loving your Iron
Love how this was pinned
You got pinned lol xD
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Waaaaaaaoooooooowwww
a
One big difference i’ve noticed is that when you’re in love you only see the good things about the other person but when you love someone you accept all their flaws and still love them all the same
That might also be a sign of limerence
@@abstract3213 i’m sorry but could you explain what that means?
@@little_swan07hey:) limerence is more obsession-like, accompanied by extensive fantasizing about the loved object, it is a deep romantic longing for another, usually because there is some "emptiness" inside you, you are trying to fill in, maybe lack of self love, that wasn't properly addressed, etc...and one of the signs is also refusing to see the bad traits of the personality of the loved one and seeing only the good traits. Limerence can just suddenly go away, or last unreasonably long time, like, years,...people describe that this intense longing for the loved one in limerence is so strong they could even feel physical pain in their body. It is similar to falling in love, but there are some differences. Maybe check the book Love and limerence by Dorothy Tennov.
@@abstract3213 thanks a lot! I’ll make sure to check it out.
@@little_swan07 you are very welcome :)
Its a very famous qoute I am sure everyone has heard it..
"When you Like a flower, you just pluck it. But when you Love a flower, you water it daily. One who understands this, understands life."
That's absolutely true
it's my favorite quote
Understand a part of life, not life itself
wow
And now i've realized, i'm not in love with them, i love them, period
Not sure if this is good or bad since they don't feel the same
To be honest, it took me a long time to finally realise what love actually was.
I always thought love felt like butterflies in your stomach and happiness when you heard the other person's name or voice. I always thought love was something you'd feel so strongly that you wouldn't miss it. You'd feel it instantly.
Because of how I thought, I never stayed in relationships for very long. Until I met my current boyfriend.
We used to fight a lot. I used to start fights because of my anxiety (amongst other issues). I always thought "I can't love him. I don't feel those sparks. I don't feel those good feelings. When the hell am I going to feel that?". Whenever I asked people what love feels like, they'd tell me:
"It's feeling happy when you're around that person."
"You just know."
"You feel butterflies!"
And i'd end up frustrated because I hadn't felt those things with anyone before. Of course I knew what attraction felt like. I was in relationships for a reason but I always wondered "Do I love this person?"
I've only recently (as in this year) realised what it means to love someone. You're not always going to feel those butterflies or that intense excitement when you hear their name or voice. You're not going to find them perfect forever. You'll eventually come to realise there are things you don't like about them. Things that you find weird/gross/annoying.
Love is something you work at. Love is when you want to keep that relationship going. When you will do anything to keep it strong and healthy. When you won't just leave them because of something you don't like about them or something as minor as that.
*TL;DR: I figured out what it means to love someone.*
I feel the same, thank you for sharing
Yup
💜
Thank you for expressing what I'm thinking and worrying about all the time. Could be helpful
Love is compromised. ❤️
Your mind is a powerful thing. When you fill it with positive thoughts, your life will start to change.
Amen!
Truth!
Not as easy as it sounds, but true nonetheless.
honestly
That’s true indeed, positive thoughts makes positive emotions which in turn makes positive energy with a higher vibration thus attracting positive things into your life. It’s as simple as that. Lol 😂
omg that is the comment I was searching for !!
The 7 main differences between "Love" and "Being in love":
1) Choice vs Emotion
2) Gradual vs Immediate
3) Lasting vs Fleeting
4) Challenging vs Easy
5) Sacrifice vs Support
6) Partnership vs Ownership
7) How THEY Feel vs How YOU Feel
Thank you❤️
I swear to god these bots
Why is this list so discouraging?
@@ivylee5490
Report them. We will get them banned.
🤔 I dont get it 🧛🏼♀️
Who would decide to stop loving that cute kitty :(
I was thinking more or less the same!
Only a monster.
Anyone without a damn heart
who COULD? D:
What cute kitty? :)
It’s just special to be loved and to be in love. Remember to cherish those moments
Yes, very powerful..
I both love and am in love with my boyfriend. The chemistry and sparks between us are unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, and the communication flows in such a healthy way that it’s no problem setting and respecting boundaries for each other. We talk about what is troubling each other and have mutual trust in one another. I’ve never been so happy with someone before :) ❤️
@@kodiak9079 many people did but weren't able to say it, consider it a message from your future self saying "I got you homie!"
@@kodiak9079 they were just commenting about themselves and their opinion. It doesnt matter if anyone asked. People have freedom of speak so why does it matter if anyone asked. No one ever asks you to give your opinion on social matters or politics, some people just do. You are probably single to respond something like that. Did anyone ask you what you thought? no, so that doesnt mean you cant comment either.
kodiak Free speech sweetie
👁👄👁
@@giulitriestoart142 damn, I was not gonna go to that extend but damn bro!
How long have you been together?
This isn't being in love, this is a description of a crush
Violet The Cute Kitty Cat Proxy
Same symptoms, different labels.
You have a point!
Psych2Go hiiii your videos help me a lot ❤️ keep up the awesome work!!
@@Psych2go I love u will u marry me? 😭🥺
Does anyone here play Fortnite
The difference between "like", "love", and "in love" is the same as the difference between "for now", "for a while", and "forever"
But being in love isn't forever
@@anabellececiliapeffall if you take everything literally, you won't believe in forever. Love was always there, and it won't ever fade. ;)
Wtf you just scrambled
@@anabellececiliapeffall if you feel it then is forever.
@MentalHealth you should change one part. Love is forever, in love is for a while.
"Falling in love" is the initial chemical reaction and attraction on meeting someone you click with. As time passes and you get to know the person, love will either grow or fade depending on the relationship and how you are treated. To be in love and to like someone, eventually turns to love. This is the magical trinity bestowed on few.
Simply put, we concur.
@@Psych2go yes
The trick is figuring out the difference between loving someone you consider family and loving them as an SO, I sadly have found little help for this problem
best way to describe it
@@ciannacoleman5125 love is love no matter what..the defining factor of what type of love it is comes down to boundaries
I like this because it's the first thing I've seen that didn't portray being in love as something that's magical and above your other love filled relationships. People really act like the moment they're in love with someone that person is the only one that matters and neglect their other relationships with their friends and family
Always needs to be a balance!
+Psych2Go
0:42 *Choice* vs. *Emotions*
1:18 *Gradual* vs. *Immediate*
1:57 *Lasting* vs. *Fleeting*
2:40 *Challenging* vs. *Easy*
3:17 *Sacrifice* vs. *Support*
3:56 *Partnership* vs. *Ownership*
4:27 *How They Feel* vs. *How You Feel*
People like you make life easier
thank you!
"Loving someone is about partnership than it is about ownership." Well said!
Crushes and being in love with someone is what most people feel and why they break up quickly. Loving someone is a choice and not as easy to pin down but it’s warm and comforting. It’s a safe place when you’re scared and a rope to hang on to when you want to dive through life head first. It’s never easy and sometimes it’s painful but it never fades. In fact it grows stronger the more you try to resist it. Thank you so much for this channel, you have no idea how much you have helped me through the years.
8 years with my husband and i still smile or laugh when i think about him. I love him but im also so in love with him.
It’s also possible too love and be in love with someone. This is the kind of
romantic relationship that actually lasts
When in love, they don't need to make you happy, you're already happy being around them.
My understanding of loving someone vs being in love is quite different. I see loving someone as something that happens gradually as you continue to spend more time and become more attached to someone. It’s not necessarily a choice since you don’t necessarily see it when it’s happening but at some point you will realize that you love them weather it’s after s fight or something where you almost lost them etc. It’s simply an attachment that you may or may not want but how they make you feel has you attached to them. And being in love or falling in love is more conscience. It’s having a strong admiration for having them and wanting to give your all to that person etc... it’s more of an excitement feeling as described in this video and you can fall in love with someone over and over throughout a relationship too.
I love this, because I became concerned if my love for my boyfriend was real or not as to if I was “in love” or actually “love” him. I really enjoyed the you put it “falling in love with them again and again” which is definitely something that happens to me when I see him supporting me and being there for me when I need him has me falling in love with him over and over again which makes me love him flaws and all over all. Btw it’s whether* not weather.
I think choice here is more or so deciding to be with a person because you love them. However, I like how you clarified what choice mainly can be used as: realizing you love them not choosing to. You can’t necessarily choose to love someone if the feeling of love simply isn’t there.
@@aestheticgcddess thank you for the correction I’m French haha. But Yes agree with you, I’ve been with my partner for two years and can relate. I love him even when im upset or irritated by him but other times he does things that remind me why I love him and. In those moments, I fall in love with him all over again.
I know my gf doesn't love me anymore and im living in denial. She wont leave me because she knows shes all i have and i think she likes the attention. Crying has become a norm for me and i know im hurting myself in the long run. Can you guys do a video on how to let go.
I feel like my boyfriend wrote this. But I really do love him. He just has so much self hate and I don't know how to show him I care. I try and try but he can't see
hey man, my advice would be talk to her and make things clear for you and for her :") i wish you all the very best🤍
Choose yourself first even if it hurts to let go. I really hope you do what brings you peace
@@chaahatgupta8126 i will, thank you(:
@@SonyaKhanOfficial building strength to accept this, thank you!
I used to think that love was about the butterflies, cute names, and having the exact same interests as me. I've been in past relationships where I thought I was in love even though they were only things that were very superficial and that they were my source of happiness, that I would be miserable without a partner. From my parents, I learned that you can't offer what you don't have. You can't bring happiness into a relationship if you don't already have it being single. From the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, I learned that real love is more than a feeling, it's a principle. Meaning the commitment is still there even when the sparks are not. It endures and bears all things, including flaws, differences, and disagreements. You'll only be as young as you are now ever again, so in the mean time, look at being single as a gift rather than a curse because there are so many opportunities you can take right now that you wont be able to once you finally settle down. So if anyone out there is panicking about being alone, or feeling insecure, don't be. You have a choice in how to look at your situation. I hope you make a great one.
I wish me people understood this and lived by it
If loving someone seems or feels like you have to constantly punish yourself, you _still_ don't truly love him/her.
Or yourself, for that matter.
Balance is key. ;)
So goddamn true
Yep yep. You can still sacrifice and love them without pushing yourself beyond your limits and capabilities. 🙃
what if its like this : i'm the kind of people who cut toxic people easily out of my life and didn't even hesitate. but i still try to keep him even though he's toxic and not good for me. is it love or what?
Oh God I was looking for this statement
Being at a certain age and stage in life and after sustaining a long term relationship it is my belief that being "in love" is the romantic phase of love. It can grow and develop into love. To love someone is to see ones flaws and imperfections and still care enough to stand the the trials and tribulations that come with time and being able to withstand them.
I am deeply madly in love with someone ❤️... Even after approx 2 years together my heart still skips a beat when I see him.. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@gertech100 I know right!! Ty 🥺❤️
im both in love with someone & love them.. what does that mean? 😓
Aww, that's really cute! It seems you really care about them ❤
That's great, strawberry!
Now, LoL, when it's still that way after 29 years....
Yes, it is an incredibly awesome feeling 😍
We’ve been married 31 years and I love him more than ever !
well for me falling in love was quick and gradual at the same time. When I met my boyfriend I knew there was something special in him and between us. In which I greatly wanted to pursue that. But it took time to understand him and know that I can love him for who he is in that moment and I did! Even after this realizing that I was in love with him hit me like a bus. It's different for everyone. The big test to being in love and you know your in love is when they might hurt you greatly with something they did/said (and this was only a one time thing) You can't help but still love them and the thought of them being with someone else makes you want to cry. You have the strength to forgive and move forward and they have the strength to do the right thing.
When I first met my boyfriend it was love at first sight. After about a week I knew I was in love with him. And after 6 months of us being together I found out I was pregnant with our daughter. Now 16 years later we are still very much in love with each other and deeply love each other. We have 2 teenagers together and currently expecting our third child in a month! So everything that was explained in your video I can relate to. Love is supporting each other thru good times and bad. Being in love can turn to true love/soulmates!
Our situation is similar. We met and I knew he was the one . I was pregnant 8 weeks later and married 6 months to the day . Our big kids are 29 and 30 now . We have two granddaughters . Been married 31 years . I had a teenaged boyfriend for 5 years before but knew he wasn’t the one . Met my husband a week after my ex and I broke up . Never looked back !
Now that’s the love I wantv
I’m really happy for u congrats u are very lucky to have found this
2:00 “People tend to fall out of love just as easily as they fall in love…being in love can be as fickle & fragile as it is ardent and exciting…Love is more steadfast & enduring bc it grows stronger overtime. Being in love with someone is easy bc it’s mostly a matter of chemistry & attraction. All you care about is that high they give you…when you truly love someone & not just in love it takes a lot of effort to make things work”
Tbh this channel has helped me more than my therapist has
Loving someone is a deep feeling of great fondness and it comes with time and giving and taking naturally.
Little expectations and total acceptance of one another.
Being in love is a chemistry..
Its more about physical attraction dreams and unrealistic expectations but glorious moments to ponder over.
Its not stable and doesn't last for long unless it grows into true love facing the tests of reality, time and challenges together in a solid partnership.
That's rare!
My definition of being in love is that you give your all to that person in hopes of them feeling the same way and reciprocating. When the partner you are in love with doesn’t reciprocate at the same level & energy, you start to withdraw and it fizzles out. When you love someone it happens gradually, there’s times when you give a little more than the other person but then the other person rises up to that level and mutual respect and love for one another grows deeper.
True Love is without condition.
You Love Someone bcoz you Love them.
Not bcoz you need anything in return.
Love can be non reciprocal. Sometimes in life Love does not keep two together . But Miles apart without contact Love can still be there.
Mother' s love for instance is so pure
Whether her childrenare with her or not. Her love always flow.
No doubt than it is considered to be pure and divine.
Love does not require constant meeting , mating and attachment.
wow . this is real . i have never thought about this . sometimes it's interchangeable . but definitely love is on and out in the bedroom when the sex is coming . i'm used to having the best experience thx to natural drops which boost your energy like nothing
actually my best friends told me about these natural aphrodisiacs. i must say they were true great results and we felt amazingly after only 5 drops
The art is so cute and I love her voice it’s so soft !
Glad you love the combination.
Real love of any kind is a rare and wonderful gift ♥️
When you find it, how do you protect it?
I see comments saying they didn’t feel what being in love is portrayed as in stories (butterflies, blushing, etc.) but rather what is platonic love for me. If you’re torn between loving and being in love with someone just know one thing: it’s different for E V E R Y O N E. I thought I felt romantic feelings for someone but realized it’s platonic. Yes, it may actually be romantic and I may be confused, I’ll figure out with TIME. I don’t mean to make you more confused with this, I just want you to know that being in love and loving is different for everyone. It shouldn’t ever be generalized about what it feels like. Hell, even this video is for POSSIBLE advice. It’s for help! It’s meant to help figure yourself out. Not tell you what to do or what to feel. Anyways, good luck figuring yourself out and have a great rest of your day/night 😌
The difference between "being in love" and "love" is like the "Te quiero" and "te amo" in spanish
¿? Didn't you want to mean "Me gustas" and "Te quiero / Te amo" (this last two are different between them, but no one has that fleeting and non-lasting connotation)? I barely would say "te quiero" to someone that I do not think as dear to me.
@@azarishiba2559 I agree with you, te quiero is more in a friendly way, you don't need to be in love lmao
Interesting! Thanks for sharing Jessica. Do those translate directly?
@@Psych2go Translated to English both mean I love you, which I think is confusing for english-speakers! But "te quiero" is way softer than "te amo", it's like a combination of "I care about you" and "I like you", and it's commonly said to people besides a romantic partner, like a family member or a friend. "Te amo" can be more intimate and even though you can say it to any loved one, it's usually only said to a significant other.
@@mariwiwi Well explained n_n
I was really worried about how I feel, but now I understand we are on a great path
the worst thing is when you love someone and all they are is in love with you.
You just made me realize i have been in love with my partners but i never loved them. It sounds weird but i get it now. I am able to love, I just didnt find the person im ready to love yet.
I was actually worried after some time of seeing my boyfriend that I didnt develop as passionate feelings for him as he did for me. So I was often criticizing myself since he is so good for me. Now I see Im probably on the good path:) Thank u!
This video just reaffirmed that I truly love my best friend of 9 years and that she loves me. I fell in love with her 7 years ago and those feelings are still here.
Every single time I think of her I smile. I hear her voice and it fills me with joy and calms me. I see her face and still get butterflies after all this time, every time. We speak and try to at least video chat every single day. She texts me and I immediately get excited. I love her, but I am also still in love with her after all this time.
Every moment we spend together is an irreplaceable gift that I cherish with my whole heart. It's still just as exciting to spend time with her as the day I realized I loved her.
4 and a half years now and I still get that butterfly feeling whenever I get a text from my gf. I love her more than anyone else on this planet but I will never stop adoring this woman like a playground crush
Okay but like the animation is so cute and amazing
Glad you love it!
this video randomly popped up on my feed and it's funny because I was actually gonna break up with my boyfriend because I'm not in love with him but I love him but now I've just realized that that's actually healthier than being in love
This is what I understand as the difference between infatuation and love. Only the terminology is different. Infatuation can lead to true love, or it can fizzle out. Friendships that slowly develop into love over time are usually a much more stable basis.
I love the same person since 4 years and sometimes I'm also in love with them. It's the cherry on top, sweet and small
Loving someone is conditional. When challenges arise, people are more likely to exit. And if there is a break up, at some point the two won't love each other anymore... Being in love is appropriately regarded as unconditional. It is much, much, much rarer. It persists well beyond the end of a relationship. If separated, even years later, the two can still feel each other and are linked forever. They never totally unlink from the person and un-admittedly cross the others' mind frequently. Most people have loved several, but have never been in love to know the difference. The video describes a crush/lust and love, but not being in love. It's the most powerful thing that can ever happen to you.
I never felt in lovr with my boyfriend and he seemed to have falling for me and i was guilting myself for.not loving him the way he loves me . this video cleared everything for me . got me to understand it all and it is the first guilt free breathe i take a long time i couldnt thank you enough
the way I RAN here as soon as i saw this
I had both. True story, you can be in love with someone you love long term, and its amazing. He passed away last month. He was one of the greatest experiences of my life.
Is it possible that it could start off as being in love, and then turn to actual love?
I think so.
Yep
Very possible
Definitely
That is my cAse ❤️
this detached perspective is so true to the aro / ace experience. in a world where so many people dont exactly recognize how to 'love' again and again is a continuous and conscious 'choice'. :)
its a disservice to ourselves & our loved ones to ignore this, and keep looking for external validation...
the affectionate guise of being in love to temporary infatuation, and like to aesthetic attraction!
very well said !! i always thought i was wrong :)
it just turns out wveryone else just has a different perspective on how love should be.
7 differences between love and being in love
Me: No thanks im single anyway
LMAO
Always has been
@Lone Wolf Nergigante then so is being single:(I could be joking...
who knows?):
I like the idea of being loved but not the idea of being IN love, I genuinely don't feel l would find true love or even love someone at such an extent cause I'm selfish and get bored easily
😂🙋🏻♀️
1:33-1:37 The sound and feeling of a heartbeat? Priceless for a love-related video on your channel.💓
After 8 years, my then boyfriend and I broke up after he contracted corona and we didn’t see each other for 3 months. I wasn’t expecting that outcome and it’s been extremely hard for me to let him go. Recently he told me, “I still love you, but it’s not the same strong fire love.” That broke me even more because I still feel that way about him. Now I wonder how long ago he stopped loving me. In January it will be a year since we broke up and I still sob almost every night. I feel so depressed and lonely (I literally have no friends after moving to a different city an hour away) after our break up. And of course I miss him dearly.
cos covid? And time apart? Should make the heart grow fonder.. wasnt the one for u bby; after 5 years he decided to fall out of love.. so i know exactly how u feel. but i also know he is the one for me. This hurts reading this, cos the insta trauma.. i cry every night too and have nightmares and tremors from anxiety...
if he is always looking for that "fire love" i can tell you he will be going relationship after relationship seeking the "high" thats addiction / infatuation - not love. I know this is hard to hear rn and it hurts but you are better off fniding someone who will grow in building a loving relationship with you; rather than someone who doesnt want to be around when things become challenging or is dictated by their feelings rather than making sound choices. Would love an update on your life since this comment!
Psych2Go: *posts an update*
me: *sees the title 😐*
also me: *clicks it anyway even tho I'm single*
wooden plank, it's okay if you're single.
Be patient, soon the right person will find their way to you. 😃
Wow. Hope you enjoyed it. You won't be single anytime soon with that membership sticker next to your name :)
Haha, same XD
With my boyfriend, I think it started off as an infatuation. Or as ‘bring in love’. But now I think I just love him. Like he’s someone I depend on but also depends on me. We share our truths with each other and understand each others flaws and weaknesses. We can’t always be around each other since we both are busy adults but we do what we can to make it work and put in the effort to be there for each other.
At first it was self indulging on my part when it came to emotion. I liked how he made ME feel without really caring how HE felt and that was bad. Now, after sticking with him even after those fleeting feelings left, he is still the one I want. He’s not someone I’m tied to purely on emotion anymore, he is now my choice. I chose to love him because he’s worth it to me.
This really helped me see that at first I was just in love and didn’t really love him. Now I do love him. So thanks. 🙏
This wasn't the video I was looking for, but the video I needed.
I thought I was doing something wrong, or just not doing anything, because I couldn't fall in love with anyone and as always started looking for solution on youtube.
After I haven't found anything I just scrolled videos and clicked the one with a cute thumbnail, and it actually helped more than anything else could.
Thank you
I thought it was just a crush, can't bring myself to admit that I love him, yet this makes it sound like I'm _In Love_ which is rather scary, but at the same time, very refreshing 😊😘
in love in these senses IS a crush/ or infatuation; if you look up the definitions of crush and infatuation you will see they are similar 😊
I appreciate the descriptions given. That said, for the longest time now, I've made sure to ignore the feelings of being in love. It never ends well for me.
When I met my now boyfriend of almost 6 years it was love at first sight for both of us. It was a connection I had never felt before in my 25 years of life. What's made our relationship so strong is that we both love each other for the people we are flaws n all.
This video came in right when I was anxious about my relationship. This and peoples comments really helped to make me feel better, thank you
This makes so much sense for me now because I have always chosen to love people and even if they don’t feel the same then I just stop loving them
THIS!!!!
You just described the difference between love and lust. Loving someone can be one sided but being in love with someone implies that it's a two way partnership. Being in love means the other person returns your love and desires your happiness too.
Being in love means the other person returns your love⁉️ This is not the rules but the exception actually!
Most of the time when we are in love with someone that person never returns our love, that’s why it’s hard when the loved one doesn’t love you back anymore, because he/she stopped to love you in returns🤷🏾♀️
YES, YOU ARE RIGHT!
This makes so much sense. In love is fleeting, that resonated so much. Always though in love was the desired goal but it’s so hindsight obvious to me now that to Love is enough..in love is never enough n is affected by how the person makes you feel. How my children make me feel will never change my love for them but a bf is on shells if he makes me feel certain ways one time too many..thank u so much
I definitely started watching this video thinking that being in love was better than loving someone and I’m seeing now that I love him and I’m not obsessively in love with him. I want to be there for him through it all :)
My boyfriend and I were together for a year and just yesterday, we broke up. He fell out of love with me and it damn near killed me hearing him say that he loved me but didnt feel in love with me anymore. Our love was so passionate last october when we got together and now november 2021 comes and its as if everything just died out. I love him dearly, and have accepted all of his flaws. We left things off in a goodish way. We text and called eachother a little just to see how our days went at school or work. We laughed together even, but it didnt fully feel the same. He came to visit me today at my house and I saw his face was stricken with sadness and guilt over our relarionship and wanting to call it off between us. But after giving him some gifts I wanted him to keep and forever treasure, and after walking with him back to the bus stop near my house, I could tell that he truly still loved and cared about me and was overall glad he got to see me. Especially when I was heading back to my place, he called me just to see that I had made it home safely. Im incredibly lucky to still have him be a part of my life, but my heart still yearns for him to be the love of my life. Its so hard with all of these feelings..
literally the video called it that first 6-12 months.. where the in love part starts . .goin another way.. that is because it isnt real love - it can become that but it has to be for BOTH parties wanting to make things work; if you keep choosing guys from broken homes or abusive homes; generally they don't even know HOW to make things work long term because they themselves had no way of a rolemodel for that; so they would need to work harder at it.. and many just dont want to - move forward and know that you will meet someone you can CHOOSE to love who will also CHOOSE you back to stay even in the hard times too when the "feels" are long gone but they STILL want to make things work..
Love hurts but real and genuine love is always worth it. And you never really realize just how much you love somebody until you turn to share you’re accomplishment or your day or a laugh with somebody and you realize how much you miss them when they’re not there…
When I first saw the notification, I thought it was going to be "Loving someone vs loving the idea of someone"
Would you like a video of that?
@@Psych2go Yes, that would be an excellent topic to cover. I actually have a whole list of ideas. I'm pretty sure if I spoke to some of your team members, we would have some pretty interesting conversations.
@@Psych2go Yes, that would be great!
i never had many positive examples of love to look up to besides movies and used to have low standards due to years of low self esteem and was in a cycle of self destructiveness with bad people until i met my last boyfriend. i'm pretty sure i fell in love. we were best friends for 2 years already and he was one of my go-to's for anything, whether it's emotional support, a laugh, boredom... We came into a relationship and it was not what I expected at all, nothing like those movie best-friends-turned-lovers tropes. i had anxiety about him leaving due to abandonment issues, he had trouble being aloof with affection and not understanding my needs, and that's what made me realize how different loving someone as a friend and being in love is. we worked through our issues and talked so much to get to a true point of understanding, respect, and love. we were both in love at that point and loved each other so deeply. i never realized what it was like to be treated so well. he supports all my dreams, translates all the feelings i cant explain, gives me new perspectives, calms me down, makes me discover things about myself that i never knew, and i learned how to love someone deeply and do the same for him. it got complicated when he had to break up with me because our parents would never accept our relationship (religious conflicts :/) and would kill us and it hindered our plans for a future together. it took forever to move on and im still in the process of doing so, it was the most painful thing ive ever went through. i had never made it this far past the honeymoon phase with someone and we both grew so much together that now that we're still back to best friends again but know each other on a whole new intimate level since we dated, i no longer know the difference between love and being in love anymore, since we're both still there for each other in all the same ways just as we were when we dated just minus the physical intimacy and exclusivity, but we're both still so special to each other. help, i dont know the difference anymore and i dont think i'll find someone like him ever again. sorry for the long comment just needed to rant im frustrated, my views on romance, friendship, and connection are just so muddled at this point, sometimes i think he was my soulmate but maybe just right person wrong time. it's ridiculous, i've been watching videos like these and reading novels like pride and prejudice just to help me figure out the difference
is it possible to love someone first (as a friend), then gradually fall in love with them? i feel/experience signs of both for a certain someone so i think that's the case with me. although we aren't really close "friends" anymore due to personal reasons (we're still acquainted and in good terms though we lost contact ever since the pandemic began), i still care about her deeply not only because i'm in love with her but because she was my friend and she's a very special person to me. regardless of what happened, i feel like my love for her (platonically and romantically) continues to grow and won't fade away anytime soon. i'm not sure if it's influenced by the feeling of being in love, but what i do know is that whether i'm in love with her or not, she'll always be important to me and i'm always gonna love her.
This is life-saving!!! Thank you so much! I'm dating someone and wondered if I wasn't being honest because I didn't feel the crazy "in love" feelings although I care a lot about this person and want to grow with them. I appreciate to know that choosing love rather than just feeling it is what will usually bring the most lasting and selfless love and joy with your chosen partner.
I have experienced both. Was in love w/ someone I didn’t really know that well for a couple years & didn’t see any negative traits. Currently love someone (mutually) that I know isn’t perfect, though I accept them flaws & all, as they do for me.
The only thing you guys deserve to be told is you are phenomenal. You have no idea how much you have been helping us
When you loved a boyfriend once but have been "in love" with multiple boyfriends because of that time in your life.... Makes you feel or think that love is actually better than in love. Wow. Kind of reminds me of what we ourselves learn as we get older.
In all my life, i know that, somewhere there is difference, like, i can love a friend without being in love with (him/her) but i didn't see it clearly, this video made a strong difference and i totally agree, that was so useful thank you soo much!!🧡
So basically, being "In Love" is infatuation
I noticed that too…
That pretty much sums it up.. there is a difference no doubt. The endurance and work has so much to say about BEING IN LOVE AS PARTNERS.. and yes it can be easy when we know exactly what we want.
I recently developed ocd, and by recently I mean 2 years ago was when I first started ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. It started with fears that I didn't love my girlfriend because the honeymoon phase had faded away and being in love became love. However, I didn't see it that way as I was focused on the easy feelings and not the hard choices. Fast forward to now and, while I still have intrusive thoughts about how I feel about her, I have learned that love is so much more than the butterflies. Now, if I could stop thinking I'm a bad person because of new disturbing thoughts I would never act on, I'd be a very normal person. Ocd is so much fun!
I’m going through a similar situation right now. Only, in my case, I’m with someone that (unlike all the other crushes in my life previously) I don’t feel butterflies, but I feel very drawn to them and love to be around them, and they make me feel more comfortable and safe than anyone ever has. ❤️🩹
2:55 When you find the one that feeling does indeed last forever. It’s love and being in love together forever.
0:57 *KPOP STANS ASSEMBLE*
YESSIR 🤩
EUSHSHS 💀
I was finding a comment about KBS loll😂💜
Lmfao 😂
Was looking for this comment 😂
I always come back to these types of videos every once and a while to refresh my memory and discern better. Thank you!
This video is amazing!
love this....tried to explain this to many a man I dated. Why I cannot be with someone obsessed with being in love, no thanks. Love is a choice, like being happy. I prefer the decision kind, not the emotional kind.
amen ^^
Loving someone is about how they make you feel, being in love is about how you make them feel. ... Loving someone means you are only concerned with how he makes you feel loved, special, or appreciated. Being in love means you worry about how to make him feel loved as well, because that's equally as important to you.
You are switching things it's the opposite
It’s the other way around actually.
@@himepuri but in the video it's saying the opposite please explain
Being in love is feeling while loving someone is a choice and a decision. If you love someone it means you want them to be happy even though the happiness they want doesn't include you. Being in love with someone is temporary because it will fade like all other feelings but loving someone is enduring and long lasting because it's a choice you make every day in spite of how the person made you feel.
I have been i confusion for long time. What actually is what i am feeling? But now, i have understood. Thanks for this video
We're glad this video has helped you in some way! :) So, have you been in love or just love?
I love how you designed the characters and added the animation in this video, by the way great advise
Ive always grown up thinking being "in love" was more deeper than loving them. You can love your friends, family, people in general, love brownises, chocolate etc. I would say love is a very flexible word. But when I say i love someone, the question is always "but are you in love with them?" And i guess thats why to me being in love is corresponded to a deeper feeling than loving them. But i can understand both.
Wow a tough one though. Can I ask you a question please?
Her voice is so relaxing~ the background music~ The animation ~ its all amazing and relaxing✨🌸💜
It’s interesting because my words for these definitions are different. I see true, lasting love as “in love”, and what this video described as being “in love” is just a crush to me. I don’t really count it as love at all. But everyone can call it what they think suits it best, as long as they understand what it really means.
💓I love yr voice first of all. Quite soothing. Yes I have learned something new from this video. Thank you💓
Thanks!! I'm so glad! We're so glad this video has helped you!
You forgot the most important thing about being inlove: it is attachment that comes from give and take
Older couples who have been “In Love” will tell you what it’s like. Being in love isn’t fleeting, it isn’t fast, it doesn’t escape. You’re IN it. You can love someone all day but to be IN love with them means they become your world. You become enveloped with them and nothing makes you happier than being with them or planning for the future or just sitting in silence with them. Their existence alone makes you happy. And when they’re gone it feels like your heart got ripped out, it feels like you lost your home, like everything you know gets flipped upside down.
I’ve loved people and them leaving doesn’t hurt me or make me upset or make me cry.
But I’ve been in love with people, and when they leave it’s catastrophic. My heart aches for them and wants them and only them. I won’t even bother with anyone else because that person I was in love with became my everything.
So there is a major difference. This seems like being “In Love” has been confused with Trauma Bonding or Lust. And that’s not the case.
People who have been in love don’t quickly move on to another partner, people who have been in love don’t want to give up on the person they’re in love with.
So to me and many other people who have been in love and have also experienced trauma bonding this is a slap to the face.
Being In Love means only that person can fill your heart and complete you. But loving someone means you have room for others.
To me being in love is romantic, while loving is platonic.
Love is deep. In love is surface level. To love AND also be in love can be absolutely amazing, but can be complicated as well. 💯
This
I care about many people, but the people I love I love unconditionally. No matter how much they drive me crazy. Just like my family, and siblings. I might not like you sometimes, but I'll always love you even when I'm angry.
Such a true words from you, I strongly concur! Can I ask you a question please?
2:26 EXCUSE ME WHAT IS COOKY DOING OVER THERE?😂 i think you might have an army animator in the crew😂😂
😂😂😂 seems so
😂😂
Her voice is so soothing and comforting
This video made me realize that I’m in love with my cat-
I think that both of these can be felt. Love is definitely a choice but you can also grow to be in love with someone. So I think that they go hand in hand.