Lmao when she said she got married in June this year obviously she meant 2020 y’all so I mean it makes sense for her due date to be this month. Y’all always try to act confused for no reason. How hard was it to comprehend her sentence🙄
I personally don't like these dating apps for Muslims. A lot of these guys r dating like a lot of non-Muslims justfor fun. They don't want something serious. I had a bad experience four years ago when I used one of those apps. I got bunch messages, but they were not serious and besides when I explain to them my disability they stopped messaging me and making excuses. I just deleted the app. I was not gonna go through more rejections than I already had. It made me happy to see The interview with the lady that was speaking about disable Muslims. We are just like everyone else. We want the same things. At least I'm thankfull that alhamdulillah I found my husband and we almost have three years together.
@@salampakistan3691 the wali is still present, he must be with the girl during all conversations and the wali will be the one who monitors the app, not the girl
Appreciate the last interviewee for speaking candidly about the control Muslim parents try to exert over their children's matchmaking. "I know my children best!" is such a foolish, self-centered thought that nonetheless guides many parents. No, you don't know your children better than they know themselves, particularly as Asian households typically lack true dialogue.
I really think there should be a middle ground between the person and their parents, because the even if they don’t know everything about you they know enough to have long sighted perspective, but obviously it should not totally sabotage your own choices!
Yes, absolutely loved that. I know in South Asian households, more often than not, the mother-in-law can cause a tonnn of issues. Not saying it can't be vice versa as well but parents really sabotage their children's lives.
A few things: Male perspectives would have been nice too. From the many years of experience I have of "looking" most men behave like idiots and the good ones are rare. They also make decisions based on attraction from a picture much more than women, especially "older" 27+ women who know better. Being open minded for 4 plus years about people I wasn't physically attracted to hasn't worked for me either. Sometimes I think about the "what's written for you" saying and while it's used in an uplifting context it could also mean marriage is not to happen for you. We need to talk about this too.
Yeah, "if it's meant to be, it will be" is usually meant to instill hope, but on the face of it, it's a statement of hopelessness. It takes away power from the couple to make it work, or from a single person seeking a partnership. You also bring up an important point. Women are always asked to compromise on their desired qualities for a man, especially physical appearance. This will only harm their marriage in the long run. We are all human first, not pure spiritual vessels.
@Maksud Mehraz She doesn't, she tried to meet people outside of her personal standards for 4 years, but Allah made physical needs more important for some humans than for others, and she came to the realisation that it's something she needs in a partnership. Don't try to bring her down like this since she's already been through quite a lot.
@Maksud Mehraz Anything she says about her appearance in a comment, whether positive or negative, could be easily dismissed so long as we have no idea what she looks like - she could be either overrating or underrating herself as most people do. I do think what you're saying about unreasonable standards is generally correct during today's dating scene, esp when it comes to things like height, I just don't think it makes much sense to bring it up here as a contention to what she's written specifically.
Yeah dating and marriage is honestly difficult in every culture and community. It’s hard as a Muslim but I realised as I got older how even in my workplace how many people are struggling to find someone. It’s just hard to find a connection
My ristha aunty was my best friend, so it helped. She was very very religious and wise and down to Earth, just mellow personality, who dropped words of wisdom and that hadith here and there Love the woman. Introduced me to my husband who also use to go to her for advice.
Man was this so true , plus the communities that have colorism and wealth ingrained into their mindset . Being light skinned with white adjacent features is the ideal and the Muslim community isn’t an exception
I'm kind of done wanting a husband. I'm too dreamy. My perfect way of meeting is through 'accidental meetings' and repeatedly meeting said person by accident, and then hitting it off. That will probably never happen. I also want to see someone in their 'normal form'. So meeting someone at an event orsomething is a great way to see a glimpse of their being. Dinner/dates or what not are no longer my cup of tea. But to be honest... i don't putt in any effort to meet someone. Not before Corona, nor during Corona. I'm literally a 'soccer mom' for my sisters' kids. I bring them everywhere they need to be... so no luck in finding anyone since they think they are my kids.
I feel ur pain girl! But us single girls have to find r happiness from within ourselves and for ourself. I know u love ur nieces and nephews but that’s ur sisters happiness and i know they make you happy but you should seek ur true happiness and know that there is a written plan for you:)
i think i am borderline idealistic, but also, i want someone who is an equal match for me in terms of career, mindset, income and social level. and that doesnt seem to be happening any time soon.
@@lanaakhras4909 You're right. Even though i used to always focus on myself and i'm pretty content with myself; i do have the urge to have a husband, house and kids. Since i'm over 30 i do consider the possibility of that never happening. It does make me sad. But on the other hand... i am content. But i still want it though hehe. But not with just anyone. How about yourself? Are you 'looking' for marriage?
@@Missmethinksalot1 I feel you on that one. But deen and mindset are my most important criteria's. At the end it's about if the person makes you feel good and happy. That can also happen with someone who makes less money than you or some one who has a physical job. And i'm not even 'finding' some one like that. It's kind of frustrating hehehe
I think us Muslims overall lack a discourse on disabilities in general especially invisible ones. I've only met 1 or 2 other Muslims with autism and I really wanna know about more experiences of what it's like being disabled and Muslim.
As a person with a disability its harder to find love and relationships. I have to search far, near, closer and wide. Also find someone who accepts me!
I'm a blind muslimah and marriage is all but impossible for me. No man wants a blind wife and no mother in-law wants a disabled daughter in-law. I can't cook for my in-laws due to my disability so I'm disqualified from marriage because in my culture a wife must cook for her in-laws 😢 the sad thing is I'm falling into haram because nobody wants me in the halal way in my culture
Are you in the US? In the past few years an organization bass out of Chicago (with chapters all over the country) named Muhsen has made strides in visibility and access for Muslims with disabilities. Please check out their RUclips channel too!
Alhamduliah, I met my husband on the same app the year they launched, both of our memberships were ending when we connected. Who swiped right first depends on who you ask 🤣 We come from opposite sides of the world (I'm black, he's desi) but Allah swt crossed our paths and that would not likely would have happened without the app Alhamduliah
I had a family friend who used a Muslim dating app and she thought she found the love of her life. He came across so amazing, they had so much in common, their families loved each other and they got engaged . One day she was at the petrol station with him and she noticed he put something in her drink, she asked him straight away what it was and left the car. She reported him to the police and his sister egged her house and broke the windows too.
@ trust me they talked for a couple of years. You don’t truly know someone until u marry them.
3 года назад+1
@@jeongukkkim1762 wooow...there could have been red flags that were so subtle n passed up. Also getting to know the family very thoroughly is important. But man.. That's scary to think it would turn out THIS bad. May Allah protect us.
That was so vague. I get that people can be two faced but like someone said, I'm sure there were red flags overlooked or they weren't thoroughly looked into. Before you marry someone both parties should be willing to show all their documentations relating to criminal background checks, STD testing and any other medical conditions they might have. Interview their friends, family, co workers, neighbours, and past school mates. So many people overlook this step and I acknowledge that there could still be dirt swept under the carpet that no one knows about despite all the rigamaroll.
@@whocares897 actually yes, I used to pray a lot for a partner with the qualities I want (loving respectful, caring, ect.) and I also used to say this dua a lot: Rabbi Innii Limaa Anzalta ilayya min khayrin faqeeer. (Oh Lord I am truely in need of whatever good you bestow upon me). This specific dua was recited by prophet Musa AS when he was all alone and lost in the desert. Then God helped him get a job and a wife.
This literally came at the right time. I attended a friends wedding yday and I was thinking about this whole idea of marriage (and how offputting it is for me lmao). But going through the process, really makes me realise how marriage really is half of deen because honestly? More often than not you're getting married to a somewhat stranger and just praying it works out😂 May Allah make it easy for us.
I don't give up easily but when it comes to find the right person I think we should stop looking and instead we should focus on our lives as human being ....And Maybe I'm saying MAYBE! we will meet the right person someday🤷🏼♀️
This was a great video Tazzy! I've been struggling with this a LOT lately. I just turned 31 and honestly loosing hope in marriage and whether I will find the right person. It is HARD in this day and age to find a spouse Subhanallah! And dating sites honestly scare me now. I've had such bad experience with it that I don't even want to try anymore. Anyways, like you said! If its meant to be right? Just got to have faith that things will work out the way they are meant to be InshaAllah!
Haha are you me?! 😂 I'm almost 30 and am single as a pringle. I'm generally ok with it - but at times, it hurts - being cast aside by men our age, as they seek girls who are 10 years younger. But then I remind myself that my true value lies in who I am as a person and how Allah sees me (rather than what society does) If I don't marry, I plan to travel the world and expand my career. I've realised that with or without a man, I'm going to live a fulfilling life regardless of what happens. Also, bear in mind many women who married young hate how their life turned out. Be thankful you aren't in this position. Or worse, raising kids by a douchebag whom you are unable to leave due to cultural or economic pressures. Many wish they could have the freedom and independence we do. As they saying goes, the grass is not greener on the other side. It's green where you water it the most.
@@bayleaf7588 I completely agree with you! For me I would be fine being single if my family didn't mention it like ALL THE TIME. It can get tiring when all you hear from family is that others are getting married having kids and you are just....there. But like you I've said that I would rather stay single then settle and be unhappy in a marriage. I don't know what the future will hold for me, but in the meantime, Im focusing on my career and just generally being happy with me! If its meant to be then Alhamdulillah, and if its not meant to be then Alhamdulillah. Either way, whatever Allah (SWT) writes for me will happen. And oh boy! I know exactly what you mean by the men our aging wanting someone younger. I try not to let that get to me, its their loss I say!
I'm not Muslim, but in the same boat as a person who has more conservative social values (for myself). I'm 33. I've recently settled on a new, huge goal, which would probably not have been possible had I been married with children - going back to school to become a nurse. It's certainly not what I thought I would be doing at this age, but it's been inspiring nonetheless. Oh and I got a puppy - the LOVE and companionship he provides has also been such a blessing. :)
As a convert, I found this really insightful about the born Muslim perspective. I have struggled and have gone through so much pain being rejected simply because I was a non Muslim once, my family is non Muslim and that I’m Hispanic and that it’s fear and hope for ease that the last interviewee mentioned at the end, but not sure if it gives me much hope to get married given that men that I have met are given the ultimatum of either getting married to a suitable option or being disowned by their family.
Andrea going off of your name I’m assuming you are a Muslimah. In that case I say don’t give up on wanting to marry a born Muslim whether Arab or non-Arab. It’s actually more likely for you than me as a Hispanic male that you will marry a born Muslim. 3 of my friends are mixed Pakistani/Mexican and Pakistani/Guatemalan with their mother being a Hispanic revert for 2 of them. I also have one Arab friend who’s the same mixed Palestinian and Mexican but it is his mother who is a Mexican revert. There are countless videos on social media like Instagram and Tiktok, showing weddings where the groom is born Muslim and the bride is Hispanic. In the end don’t give up, because within Arab and Hispanic culture the father is who carries the “ethnic lineage” or cultural identity of his children. So it’s not uncommon for Arab/Desi/Persian/Afghan/Turkish families etc to allow their sons to marry outside of their ethnicity in general not just Hispanic women. InshAllah you will be find a good spouse 🤲🏻☪️
I think it's your culture. I can imagine a Pakistani or Lebanese not being open-minded for a Portuguese convert to join their family, but perhaps a Moroccan would. So, if you're Hispanic try to meet Muslims with some cultural and/or historical connection. Regardless of the cultural differences, you won't be "an alien" in their eyes.
In my early twenties and haven't feel connected to anyone or even in any mindset of getting married and all.. At first thought maybe there was something wrong with me but then saw am not the only one with mindset like that and coming from a culture who is soo into early marriage can be very annoying because I don't even have the mindset at all, which makes some family member annoying when the start talking about guys in my life and our future and my female cousin sure isn't helping with their settling down mindset 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
MashAllah Yasmeen, the last interviewer summed it up perfectly! When she said “we won’t give some one a chance if we are not 30 seconds attractive to them” is the truth! Newsflash a “picture” will not represent a persons personality, character, way of speaking etc. And yet people don’t want give a chance or their time of day because of that lack of instant gratification. MashAllah Yasmeen, you summed up the complexities exceptionally! And it is terrifying when you overcome “the false perception that there is endless choice” and understand “there is not”. And this become debilitating, almost like and arms race. May Allah grant us peace of mind, patience and trust in his plan Ameen.
This is an A+ video. Loved it! I'm not thinking about marriage now but it hit me so hard when she said "you think you have a lot of choice but you don't". Like okay why do you have to be so honest, let me fantasize a bit hahaha. Just kidding, I appreciate the honesty in these videos and I pray that all those who are actively looking for a spouse eventually find the right fit.
The last girl you interviewed is very wise mashallah, would love to listen to her podcast/yt channel because she NEEDS one maybe even a talk show such positive vibes 🌻
I don’t know if she has a RUclips, but she’s yasguru on Instagram. I highly recc following her on there, she gives great advice in her stories (including her marry Mondays on marriage topics)!
@@robotnitchka what makes you say that? Is there a small Muslim population where you live? Since I've moved to the city I've been able to slowly grow my network with other Muslim sisters
@@sweetpapayasourpeach I live in the middle of nowhere yes. Also - this is gonna sound really bad - I'm upper middle class, but city Muslims are mostly working class, and I just cannot get along with them. Their whole worldview is completely different to mine. There are other middle class Muslims around but like me, they live in the middle of nowhere as well, so we can't really access each other and I don't use social media
We would love to hear YOUR insight, advice and your opinions regarding the same. I recently came across one of your videos and since then I am binge watching all of your videos 💖 In love with the content you are providing. Mashallah!!! May Allah bless you. ❤
I genuinely feel like we haven't had enough integration between different and we don't understand what want vs what we need. Apps have made easy for us to connect but many just don't have the social skills to actually create rapport.
May Allah keep our intentions pure, and our Iman high. May He increase us in beneficial knowledge and make us among the pure and give us a spouse from among the pure. Ameen.
Something that I find difficult in finding a partner is them knowing about my mental illness, I have PTSD from childhood trauma and it has changed me so much, no one knows the real me not even my parents or my friends, I get intrusive thoughts and visible delusions and nightmares and I'm always changing, I used to be really emotional and now I don't really show much emotion and cant cry. I think that finding a partner that accepts this about me will be difficult, cause I can keep it a secret until they have to live with me and deal with it. It scares me, I feel like no one kind of wants to deal with and I don't know where to start. Desi culture doesn't really talk about mental issues and the most people talk about is depression and anxiety. I don't want to give up tho :)) I know that Allah swt has someone out there for me, I just wish it was easy to find out who it is and talk to them.
As a Hispanic revert I have to say this video was very insightful into the many areas that exist within marriage and the process that it takes to even find a potential spouse. Although there are different forms of seeking a partner I still believe it will not be possible for me with my ethnicity, no wealth, knowledge level of the deen, Non-Muslim family, career aspirations and other factors. InshAllah I’ll make it to and ask in Jannatul-Firdaous 🙏🏼
@L Nur Salam, Thank you for your reply and the advice you gave. And yes I am aware many of my people have been reverting to Islam in the last few years *Alhamdulillah*. Yes, I saw their Houston video with vice before I reverted and then after I saw they had a masjid here in Dallas it’s 20 mins from where I live, so InshAllah I will visit soon. I know they help new reverts find a potential spouse, because some of the Arab brothers I’m friends with have gone to ask. They said the majority of sisters they talked to had a prospect of marrying a born Muslim so that in the future their children would learn the deen easier. Again not all but majority, and this was 2 months ago although it could’ve changed I don’t know. I don’t doubt Allah SWT has a plan for everyone but right now I’m just going to put it aside and focus on finishing my last 2 years of university. Many scholars note that there are people who Allah SWT has destined them to not find a spouse so that they may focus on the next life, and if that’s the case so be it. Ma-Salama
Im so glad i found this video and the iv with tasneem is very fruitful for me as a disabled muslim woman. When i think about marriage i always thought would any normal man want to marry and take care of someone like me? Glad to see theres hope out there for someone like me. Love u 💋
Y’a Allah give us the ability to exercise the wisdom and truths we know as muslims. Let us break away from things we’ve learned in our communities, families and cultures that don’t align with Islam. Give us the strength to unlearn them and realign our lives with truth. May this way of life make our lives better as it was intended by You Allah and May we be able to see it in that light consistently. Give us protection from fitnah surrounding this part of life you’ve written for some and not for others. Give us the wisdom to exercise the sabr You give us. May Allah grant us all the necessary struggles to purge ourselves of any attachment that is not good for our heart, mind and soul. *the loudest ameeeeeen to the sky and back* Ameen
As a 25 year old men the major issue I have faced is most ladies want a great package. Specially get marry young is almost impossible for men if you don’t take help from parents. Most woman requirement what they want can be fulfil by a 50 year old man not a 25 year old . So I gave up and focussing in my career . I have postponed my marriage for next 5 years. Girl might have their own struggles but I feel mens issues are not well discussed. Or even bothered.
Ive found my boyfriend through ok cupid and that was over 4 years ago. :) We are still super happy and trying to get married now. You never know! Good luck girl!
I’ve never try dating or even talking to men. I just don’t see myself with someone, I just feel as though I won’t make a good partner so I’ve decided to be sad and alone.
You can be alone, but try not to be sad. You can find fulfilment and purpose in mastering something or championing a cause. Ralph Nader comes to mind. Great man who devoted his life to bettering his country and still going strong.
Omg Tasneem! Just saw the video posted by somebody Siddiques channel (😅 sorry forgot the name) on the video in the mountain. Sp adorable mA. Have been on and off watching your videos but wishing you the best of this and the next. Had me feeling some feels, watching you shift into the next phase of life. This channel has a home in my life for comic relief but always wondering what you're upto next. 🙃😍
31, Punjabi Sikh and the pressure is so hard. It didn’t help that I’m 5’9 215 pounds with a inverted triangle shape and being ugly af . I think my parents have given up, the other day they told me that they are okay with a White guy. As feminist as I am, it would be nice to meet someone, but I think at this point my time is up. I’ve accepted that I’m probably going to be single forever, but the thing that sucks is that my parents won’t let me move out and enjoy my life. I feel so trapped inside of the four walls of my parents house 😪😪😪😪
Your man is coming, just trust in the universe/god's plan for you, and your divine timing. You're a beautiful girl, just try to believe it if you can! Xxxx
Its not easy because even if u find a guy u like thats just the begning!! He wont marry u if hes not ready, not in love with u, doesnt know what he wants etc
I found my other half with the help of internet and one those god forsaken (astaghfirullah don’t mean to curse) “aunties” but that is a whole different story altogether lol.... really enjoyed your vid, keep em coming Taz.
I am Mexican immigrant gal and non-Abrahamic religion as well as deaf in USA. At this point, I do not want a partner. People want certain requirements and I do not fit them either in Mexican dating pool, Latinx dating pool or the USA dating pool. Its fine. I will never find one. I am 23 which is still fairly young, but I am tired of minority dating pool or the general dating pool. It will never be enough for them as who I am.
I kept deleting and redownloading these apps since I was 18. All the muslim apps actually had ao many more nasty guys in my opinion (that I came across) astaghfirullah. Downloaded Tinder out here in Dubai just to talk during covid 🤣🤣🤣 Actually found a husband there 😅. One in a million chance I tell you.
I've experienced similar. I've never actually used non-Muslim apps (for the specific fear that guys on there are only looking for hook ups so why bother) but it seems that that is all that the guys on Muslim apps are looking for too. My friend on the other hand is not Muslim so she used tinder and she's talked to many guys who were just normal and weren't looking for a hook up but were looking for a serious relationship. Some times I think Muslim guys are worse than non-Muslim guys. Maybe it's because their parents were so strict on them growing up so they go on apps to have their fun while they can until their parents force them to marry whatever girl they find.
okay tazzy, i'm a big fan of your content but i need to tell you that this specific topic , i needed to hear more from you. it was generic , you have been creating this special relation with us ,, and you made us feel like you can talk about anything and everything like we were all your friends,, but when you reached the topic of marriage ,, i juste felt like you have been very careful and extremely preservatif of your opinions on things. i do respect your privacy but you made it obvious that there is a big change in the direction of your channel , it feels like you switched from content creator to journalist .. i'm sorry for feeling this way.
If I recall correctly, she said somewhere that her husband does not want to be involved on the channel (not out of disinterest), so I assume that she is keeping more personal details about her life private out of respect for him.
@@FallingGuineaPig like i said I do respect her privacy.. I did not ask for TMI ..I'm just used to have her opinion on things , her experience or her close friends experience narrated by her.but in this specific video ..she was listening to other professional speakers that have a professional filter on them. I literally took nothing from the video. I was bored looking at her listening to them .
@@lindseykirsten1124 when we get used to something we tend to take it for granted. I'm proud of Tazzy for not comprising on her word. I personally really like the journalistic approach more because it paints a bigger and more accurate picture of our reality. I would imagine you indulge in her funny and quirky personality as we all do. At the end of the day, she chooses to be honest with herself and her viewers and I respect her so much for that. The content she went out her way to find and put together was beneficial to the Muslim community. May Allah bless her and protect her from the evil eye, envy and jealousy, from the harm that which she knows of and that which she doesn't know of. Ameen. It's at her complete and total discretion what and whom she wants to share her life with. We aren't entitled to anything from her. I hope she continues grow in Iman and ilm, and may Allah make her among those who are granted Jannat ul-firdous. Ameen.
@@sweetpapayasourpeach I do believe that she is free in her channel. But when you are a public personality you care for what your followers want... being known for something and literally having this personal signature made her have a place in everyone's heart.. her open jokes and personal experiences made her be tazzy . She has this habit of switching sides when she gets bored ..everytime she does this she loses a piece of her signature. And this video made her look just different..not the good different.. she was just unrecognisable .. and I don't mean to be this harsh..I am just being honest. I still like her and I won't unsubscribe.. I am telling it how it is for me .
MashAllah! Thank you for talking about this! A lot of times, once people get married, they forget about the struggles that they went through during singlehood lol, so thank you for thinking of us! :) I avoided the apps for YEARS, met people other ways like recommendations, or in person, or something like that, and finally at 30, I decided to download them...possibly one of the worst mistakes? :D I honestly feel like the apps are a punch to my self esteem :( So many of the guys on there seem like they are either fake profiles, or never get back to you haha! I'm like ummmmm is there something wrong with me :D but the crazy thing is, there are non-Muslim guys who I know in real life, who have their stuff together, are not afraid of COMMITTMENT, and I know they would marry me in a minute! So by abstaining from going in that direction (which I am not complaining about, because Allah swt knows why he made it so that we cannot marry non-Muslim guys), it just seems like the pickings are so slim lol. And even when I jumped on the apps that were not necessarily Muslim apps, the non-Muslim guys were swiping right?!?! I'm not naïve, I know they may have different intentions lol, but I'm just saying that it's not as much of self-esteem beat up session, on those apps. So, I just don't get it haha. I am Thankful however, that Allah (swt) has allowed me to go through this stage in my life, and I hope I can learn the lessons I need to! sorry for the whole novel!
Hey I feel you sister! I've had the same and similar experiences. If someone doesn't message you at all but hasn't seen your message then they might not be active on the app. If they did see your messages and didn't reply then they're just rude and why would you want to even consider someone insensitive? Just move on to the next guy. It takes a while to find a decent prospect but anything that's worth something is never attained for free. You get in what you put out and Allah is Al-Fattah. Make du'a using this name so that Allah will make it easy for you and open the doors of opportunity for you insha'Allah. I'm not married yet but du'a using intentional names and visualizing what I want has always made my journey more easy. Don't settle for less and when you get tired just take a break. Trust your gut and know your worth.
The last sister's is @yasguru she has awesome posts about marriage, struggles, and more! I also really love her Marry Mondays that she does on her story every week, hope that helps!
I had two profiles in two different dating sites, one was a muslim site and the other was a non-muslims site. It was much easier to meet someone on the non-muslim site and that is how i met my current wife who was christian catholic but a muslimah now (Alhamdulilah). I had noticed that the muslim sisters had a long list of conditons while her family had a list of thier own. So (Sisters) finding a husband is not difficult but meeting your expectations is hard...
@@muslim_first That is such a huge generalization, women don't look for just money or even a man with a lot of money. I know me and my friends want a man that has a career and is responsible for sure, but we're not looking for someone who's rich (and personally I could care less if the man is wealthy). More importantly, physical attraction is absolutely important for women too. We need to stop with these stereotypes, both spouses deserve to feel attraction and have chemistry with one another.
Jasmin Al-Hadi, I don't know if I spelled your name correctly, but dear last interviewed woman in the video, thank you for your precious words or rather jazakallahu khayr/khayran or something like that. ^^
I take issue with calling immigrant Muslim parents controlling. All families can be overly-protective when it comes to marrying someone outside what they envision. She does mention that it can be an issue for non-Muslims tbf, but with non-Muslims it's not framed in terms of their culture and she does say "especially immigrant families"???
That's because Western parents tend to be more open minded and easy going. The American way is to "follow your heart and dreams". How many cultures have this mentality? White parents for the most part just want their kids to be happy. The reality is what it is. Don't take it personally. They didn't say ALL immigrant parents just most of them. From my experience in various Muslim communities this is true.
@@sweetpapayasourpeach That's too personal. Where's your evidence? Have you watched 90 Day Fiance? The parents there get protective too. And I take issue with suggesting immigrant parents don't want their kids to be happy. Also, you can't just accuse people of "taking things personally" for disagreeing.
@@afnandridi9595 protective is not the same as controlling. Asian communities have an element of culture that whites simply do not in most cases. Don't need stats to see what my own eyes show me everyday
@@stariehearts2366 I used the word protective intentionally because control is not done with an intention to help others, and I reject the premise that it's the norm for parents not wanting their kids to be happy, whatever the culture. Also Muslim =/= Asian. If personal experience is enough to make general statements, then what happens when people's personal experiences differ?
I know Muslims saying curse words is the new trend, but it still singes the hijab and the beard a bit, if you know what I mean. I.e. It is not cool at all. But I still love 💕 you and as a Sister we are to take care of each other.
Let me tell you something interesting, when I first saw the face of the last interviewee, I wasn't least bit attracted to her, but after listening to her for 5 minutes, I now know that she had a point when she said that visuals have made it difficult for people to find a good spouse/
@@shooomla2916 I miss making videos toooo, just felt bad I wasn’t giving the proper time to it all! Maybe I’ll return some day, but for now I have it all on private. 😭❤️
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Well I am 31 and the pressure is real . May Allah swt bless me and all the single sisters out there with a great spouce ❤️🙏🏾✨
I hear you sister! The struggle is real. May Allah grant us all righteous spouses❤
Why is there such a big pressure in your community to be married? I hope women value their time as single, independent women too. 🧡
Same 😭😭😭
@@hibaqobsiye2040 I hope so too.
AMEEN ❤❤❤
I almost gave up on these but thankfully found my husband in 2019. Got married in june this year and now expecting a baby next month ❤
timeline seems off...
Things don’t add up. No judgements haha. You do you boo
Lmao when she said she got married in June this year obviously she meant 2020 y’all so I mean it makes sense for her due date to be this month. Y’all always try to act confused for no reason. How hard was it to comprehend her sentence🙄
@@ayanduale9747 bruh you seriously need to work on your math skills lmaooo. Check the timeline, do the math and then give your input
I personally don't like these dating apps for Muslims. A lot of these guys r dating like a lot of non-Muslims justfor fun. They don't want something serious. I had a bad experience four years ago when I used one of those apps. I got bunch messages, but they were not serious and besides when I explain to them my disability they stopped messaging me and making excuses. I just deleted the app. I was not gonna go through more rejections than I already had. It made me happy to see The interview with the lady that was speaking about disable Muslims. We are just like everyone else. We want the same things. At least I'm thankfull that alhamdulillah I found my husband and we almost have three years together.
I do not like the app because it takes away the need for wali which usually protects girls from perverts.
Same I block them as soon I see first red flag I'm not there to waste my time
How did you meet your husband?
@@Sarafara7 we met on facebook
@@salampakistan3691 the wali is still present, he must be with the girl during all conversations and the wali will be the one who monitors the app, not the girl
Appreciate the last interviewee for speaking candidly about the control Muslim parents try to exert over their children's matchmaking. "I know my children best!" is such a foolish, self-centered thought that nonetheless guides many parents. No, you don't know your children better than they know themselves, particularly as Asian households typically lack true dialogue.
I cannot agree more!!
I really think there should be a middle ground between the person and their parents, because the even if they don’t know everything about you they know enough to have long sighted perspective, but obviously it should not totally sabotage your own choices!
@@alphafish4756 dude how the f can you know about a stranger's child (ala the person your child is going to marry). Stop exaggerating
Yes, absolutely loved that. I know in South Asian households, more often than not, the mother-in-law can cause a tonnn of issues. Not saying it can't be vice versa as well but parents really sabotage their children's lives.
A few things:
Male perspectives would have been nice too. From the many years of experience I have of "looking" most men behave like idiots and the good ones are rare. They also make decisions based on attraction from a picture much more than women, especially "older" 27+ women who know better.
Being open minded for 4 plus years about people I wasn't physically attracted to hasn't worked for me either.
Sometimes I think about the "what's written for you" saying and while it's used in an uplifting context it could also mean marriage is not to happen for you. We need to talk about this too.
Yeah, "if it's meant to be, it will be" is usually meant to instill hope, but on the face of it, it's a statement of hopelessness. It takes away power from the couple to make it work, or from a single person seeking a partnership. You also bring up an important point. Women are always asked to compromise on their desired qualities for a man, especially physical appearance. This will only harm their marriage in the long run. We are all human first, not pure spiritual vessels.
@@pamfan221 Exactly! There needs be balance in the advice people give related to a serious topic like marriage.
That last bit hit me...
@Maksud Mehraz She doesn't, she tried to meet people outside of her personal standards for 4 years, but Allah made physical needs more important for some humans than for others, and she came to the realisation that it's something she needs in a partnership. Don't try to bring her down like this since she's already been through quite a lot.
@Maksud Mehraz Anything she says about her appearance in a comment, whether positive or negative, could be easily dismissed so long as we have no idea what she looks like - she could be either overrating or underrating herself as most people do. I do think what you're saying about unreasonable standards is generally correct during today's dating scene, esp when it comes to things like height, I just don't think it makes much sense to bring it up here as a contention to what she's written specifically.
Yeah dating and marriage is honestly difficult in every culture and community. It’s hard as a Muslim but I realised as I got older how even in my workplace how many people are struggling to find someone. It’s just hard to find a connection
My ristha aunty was my best friend, so it helped. She was very very religious and wise and down to Earth, just mellow personality, who dropped words of wisdom and that hadith here and there Love the woman. Introduced me to my husband who also use to go to her for advice.
Man was this so true , plus the communities that have colorism and wealth ingrained into their mindset . Being light skinned with white adjacent features is the ideal and the Muslim community isn’t an exception
I'm kind of done wanting a husband. I'm too dreamy. My perfect way of meeting is through 'accidental meetings' and repeatedly meeting said person by accident, and then hitting it off.
That will probably never happen.
I also want to see someone in their 'normal form'. So meeting someone at an event orsomething is a great way to see a glimpse of their being.
Dinner/dates or what not are no longer my cup of tea.
But to be honest... i don't putt in any effort to meet someone. Not before Corona, nor during Corona. I'm literally a 'soccer mom' for my sisters' kids. I bring them everywhere they need to be... so no luck in finding anyone since they think they are my kids.
I feel ur pain girl! But us single girls have to find r happiness from within ourselves and for ourself. I know u love ur nieces and nephews but that’s ur sisters happiness and i know they make you happy but you should seek ur true happiness and know that there is a written plan for you:)
i think i am borderline idealistic, but also, i want someone who is an equal match for me in terms of career, mindset, income and social level. and that doesnt seem to be happening any time soon.
@@lanaakhras4909 You're right. Even though i used to always focus on myself and i'm pretty content with myself; i do have the urge to have a husband, house and kids. Since i'm over 30 i do consider the possibility of that never happening. It does make me sad. But on the other hand... i am content. But i still want it though hehe. But not with just anyone.
How about yourself? Are you 'looking' for marriage?
@@Missmethinksalot1 I feel you on that one. But deen and mindset are my most important criteria's. At the end it's about if the person makes you feel good and happy. That can also happen with someone who makes less money than you or some one who has a physical job. And i'm not even 'finding' some one like that. It's kind of frustrating hehehe
This happens though but it's awkward sometimes because you start to dream about that person but barely knows them. Happened to me twice
I think us Muslims overall lack a discourse on disabilities in general especially invisible ones. I've only met 1 or 2 other Muslims with autism and I really wanna know about more experiences of what it's like being disabled and Muslim.
As a person with a disability its harder to find love and relationships. I have to search far, near, closer and wide. Also find someone who accepts me!
I'm a blind muslimah and marriage is all but impossible for me. No man wants a blind wife and no mother in-law wants a disabled daughter in-law. I can't cook for my in-laws due to my disability so I'm disqualified from marriage because in my culture a wife must cook for her in-laws 😢 the sad thing is I'm falling into haram because nobody wants me in the halal way in my culture
Are you in the US? In the past few years an organization bass out of Chicago (with chapters all over the country) named Muhsen has made strides in visibility and access for Muslims with disabilities. Please check out their RUclips channel too!
@@JahanaraHoque No, I'm in the UK but I'm sure there's someone in the comment section that will find this information useful. May Allah SWT reward you
@@stariehearts2366 May Allah SWT make it easy for you. As long as you make Duaa for a reighteous and pious husband and are patient.
Alhamduliah, I met my husband on the same app the year they launched, both of our memberships were ending when we connected. Who swiped right first depends on who you ask 🤣 We come from opposite sides of the world (I'm black, he's desi) but Allah swt crossed our paths and that would not likely would have happened without the app Alhamduliah
Really luv how you included information on Tasnim’s disabled Muslim matrimony initiative ♥️👍🏾
Hawaii
I had a family friend who used a Muslim dating app and she thought she found the love of her life. He came across so amazing, they had so much in common, their families loved each other and they got engaged . One day she was at the petrol station with him and she noticed he put something in her drink, she asked him straight away what it was and left the car. She reported him to the police and his sister egged her house and broke the windows too.
😳
That escalated quickly 😳
@ trust me they talked for a couple of years. You don’t truly know someone until u marry them.
@@jeongukkkim1762 wooow...there could have been red flags that were so subtle n passed up. Also getting to know the family very thoroughly is important. But man.. That's scary to think it would turn out THIS bad. May Allah protect us.
That was so vague. I get that people can be two faced but like someone said, I'm sure there were red flags overlooked or they weren't thoroughly looked into. Before you marry someone both parties should be willing to show all their documentations relating to criminal background checks, STD testing and any other medical conditions they might have. Interview their friends, family, co workers, neighbours, and past school mates. So many people overlook this step and I acknowledge that there could still be dirt swept under the carpet that no one knows about despite all the rigamaroll.
Finding it very difficult at the age of 26 😔 please make dua for me ❤️
I can top you. I’m 28, single, have always been single and there’s not even someone in sight
32 here lol but still trying
@@laylaali222 may Allah make it easy for us ❤️
@@TheFtotheN Amin🤍
Same here. 26 and have always single. No one in sight. I truly understood the last video.
I think at the end it happens when/where it’s meant to happen. I met my SO completely unexpectedly and everything happened so fast! Alhamdulillah.
youre soo right
Well sometimes the farther won't allow it, so it's not as easy as right place right time
How did it happen? Were you praying?
@@whocares897 actually yes, I used to pray a lot for a partner with the qualities I want (loving respectful, caring, ect.) and I also used to say this dua a lot: Rabbi Innii Limaa Anzalta ilayya min khayrin faqeeer. (Oh Lord I am truely in need of whatever good you bestow upon me). This specific dua was recited by prophet Musa AS when he was all alone and lost in the desert. Then God helped him get a job and a wife.
How did u meet ur SO if u dont mind me asking
This literally came at the right time. I attended a friends wedding yday and I was thinking about this whole idea of marriage (and how offputting it is for me lmao). But going through the process, really makes me realise how marriage really is half of deen because honestly? More often than not you're getting married to a somewhat stranger and just praying it works out😂 May Allah make it easy for us.
I don't give up easily but when it comes to find the right person I think we should stop looking and instead we should focus on our lives as human being ....And Maybe I'm saying MAYBE! we will meet the right person someday🤷🏼♀️
This was a great video Tazzy! I've been struggling with this a LOT lately. I just turned 31 and honestly loosing hope in marriage and whether I will find the right person. It is HARD in this day and age to find a spouse Subhanallah! And dating sites honestly scare me now. I've had such bad experience with it that I don't even want to try anymore. Anyways, like you said! If its meant to be right? Just got to have faith that things will work out the way they are meant to be InshaAllah!
Haha are you me?! 😂 I'm almost 30 and am single as a pringle. I'm generally ok with it - but at times, it hurts - being cast aside by men our age, as they seek girls who are 10 years younger. But then I remind myself that my true value lies in who I am as a person and how Allah sees me (rather than what society does)
If I don't marry, I plan to travel the world and expand my career. I've realised that with or without a man, I'm going to live a fulfilling life regardless of what happens.
Also, bear in mind many women who married young hate how their life turned out. Be thankful you aren't in this position. Or worse, raising kids by a douchebag whom you are unable to leave due to cultural or economic pressures. Many wish they could have the freedom and independence we do.
As they saying goes, the grass is not greener on the other side. It's green where you water it the most.
@@bayleaf7588 I completely agree with you! For me I would be fine being single if my family didn't mention it like ALL THE TIME. It can get tiring when all you hear from family is that others are getting married having kids and you are just....there. But like you I've said that I would rather stay single then settle and be unhappy in a marriage. I don't know what the future will hold for me, but in the meantime, Im focusing on my career and just generally being happy with me! If its meant to be then Alhamdulillah, and if its not meant to be then Alhamdulillah. Either way, whatever Allah (SWT) writes for me will happen. And oh boy! I know exactly what you mean by the men our aging wanting someone younger. I try not to let that get to me, its their loss I say!
@@sofeee89 Exactly!! Keep your head up sis. You've got this 😉 🙌🏼 May Allah bless you in both worlds 💞🥰
@@bayleaf7588 Ameen! Thank you sis and May Allah( SWT) bless you with all that is Kair and your heart desires in this world and in the next❤️
I'm not Muslim, but in the same boat as a person who has more conservative social values (for myself). I'm 33. I've recently settled on a new, huge goal, which would probably not have been possible had I been married with children - going back to school to become a nurse. It's certainly not what I thought I would be doing at this age, but it's been inspiring nonetheless. Oh and I got a puppy - the LOVE and companionship he provides has also been such a blessing. :)
As a convert, I found this really insightful about the born Muslim perspective. I have struggled and have gone through so much pain being rejected simply because I was a non Muslim once, my family is non Muslim and that I’m Hispanic and that it’s fear and hope for ease that the last interviewee mentioned at the end, but not sure if it gives me much hope to get married given that men that I have met are given the ultimatum of either getting married to a suitable option or being disowned by their family.
Try someone who is not Arab, or Arab but raised in an open-minded family. I'm Arab myself so I know how traditional people can be.
I'm really sorry you have experienced this. IA Ameen you'll find a good spouse who won't judge you and whose family will accept you.
go to half my deen...better luck with a more liberal open minded Arab man or African guy.
Andrea going off of your name I’m assuming you are a Muslimah. In that case I say don’t give up on wanting to marry a born Muslim whether Arab or non-Arab. It’s actually more likely for you than me as a Hispanic male that you will marry a born Muslim. 3 of my friends are mixed Pakistani/Mexican and Pakistani/Guatemalan with their mother being a Hispanic revert for 2 of them. I also have one Arab friend who’s the same mixed Palestinian and Mexican but it is his mother who is a Mexican revert. There are countless videos on social media like Instagram and Tiktok, showing weddings where the groom is born Muslim and the bride is Hispanic. In the end don’t give up, because within Arab and Hispanic culture the father is who carries the “ethnic lineage” or cultural identity of his children. So it’s not uncommon for Arab/Desi/Persian/Afghan/Turkish families etc to allow their sons to marry outside of their ethnicity in general not just Hispanic women. InshAllah you will be find a good spouse 🤲🏻☪️
I think it's your culture. I can imagine a Pakistani or Lebanese not being open-minded for a Portuguese convert to join their family, but perhaps a Moroccan would.
So, if you're Hispanic try to meet Muslims with some cultural and/or historical connection. Regardless of the cultural differences, you won't be "an alien" in their eyes.
In my early twenties and haven't feel connected to anyone or even in any mindset of getting married and all.. At first thought maybe there was something wrong with me but then saw am not the only one with mindset like that and coming from a culture who is soo into early marriage can be very annoying because I don't even have the mindset at all, which makes some family member annoying when the start talking about guys in my life and our future and my female cousin sure isn't helping with their settling down mindset 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
MashAllah Yasmeen, the last interviewer summed it up perfectly! When she said “we won’t give some one a chance if we are not 30 seconds attractive to them” is the truth! Newsflash a “picture” will not represent a persons personality, character, way of speaking etc. And yet people don’t want give a chance or their time of day because of that lack of instant gratification. MashAllah Yasmeen, you summed up the complexities exceptionally! And it is terrifying when you overcome “the false perception that there is endless choice” and understand “there is not”. And this become debilitating, almost like and arms race. May Allah grant us peace of mind, patience and trust in his plan Ameen.
This is an A+ video. Loved it! I'm not thinking about marriage now but it hit me so hard when she said "you think you have a lot of choice but you don't". Like okay why do you have to be so honest, let me fantasize a bit hahaha. Just kidding, I appreciate the honesty in these videos and I pray that all those who are actively looking for a spouse eventually find the right fit.
The last girl you interviewed is very wise mashallah, would love to listen to her podcast/yt channel because she NEEDS one maybe even a talk show such positive vibes 🌻
I don’t know if she has a RUclips, but she’s yasguru on Instagram. I highly recc following her on there, she gives great advice in her stories (including her marry Mondays on marriage topics)!
In a way the married life keeps Muslims siloed from each other, too. Finding a spouse is one thing, I have a hard time even finding Muslim friends.
I cannot connect with other Muslim women, so I can't even imagine what it's like to connect with a Muslim man
Can totally relate to that.
Omg good Muslim friends takes some serious du'a and camel tying.
@@robotnitchka what makes you say that? Is there a small Muslim population where you live? Since I've moved to the city I've been able to slowly grow my network with other Muslim sisters
@@sweetpapayasourpeach I live in the middle of nowhere yes. Also - this is gonna sound really bad - I'm upper middle class, but city Muslims are mostly working class, and I just cannot get along with them. Their whole worldview is completely different to mine. There are other middle class Muslims around but like me, they live in the middle of nowhere as well, so we can't really access each other and I don't use social media
I'm a simple person - I see Tazzy, I click.
Seriously though, I've been following you since the early days and I'm a huge fan! Lots of Love xx
We would love to hear YOUR insight, advice and your opinions regarding the same.
I recently came across one of your videos and since then I am binge watching all of your videos 💖
In love with the content you are providing.
Mashallah!!! May Allah bless you. ❤
I genuinely feel like we haven't had enough integration between different and we don't understand what want vs what we need. Apps have made easy for us to connect but many just don't have the social skills to actually create rapport.
your last sentence is so well-put. too true!
True!! You can have chemistry with someone but then it’s like “okay, what’s next” some people don’t know how to do that part!
Basically!
May Allah keep our intentions pure, and our Iman high. May He increase us in beneficial knowledge and make us among the pure and give us a spouse from among the pure. Ameen.
I really liked the second interviewer talking about her previous eharmony and later apps...
I'm glad the last sister mentioned all those points
Something that I find difficult in finding a partner is them knowing about my mental illness, I have PTSD from childhood trauma and it has changed me so much, no one knows the real me not even my parents or my friends, I get intrusive thoughts and visible delusions and nightmares and I'm always changing, I used to be really emotional and now I don't really show much emotion and cant cry. I think that finding a partner that accepts this about me will be difficult, cause I can keep it a secret until they have to live with me and deal with it. It scares me, I feel like no one kind of wants to deal with and I don't know where to start. Desi culture doesn't really talk about mental issues and the most people talk about is depression and anxiety. I don't want to give up tho :)) I know that Allah swt has someone out there for me, I just wish it was easy to find out who it is and talk to them.
As a Hispanic revert I have to say this video was very insightful into the many areas that exist within marriage and the process that it takes to even find a potential spouse. Although there are different forms of seeking a partner I still believe it will not be possible for me with my ethnicity, no wealth, knowledge level of the deen, Non-Muslim family, career aspirations and other factors. InshAllah I’ll make it to and ask in Jannatul-Firdaous 🙏🏼
@L Nur Salam,
Thank you for your reply and the advice you gave. And yes I am aware many of my people have been reverting to Islam in the last few years *Alhamdulillah*. Yes, I saw their Houston video with vice before I reverted and then after I saw they had a masjid here in Dallas it’s 20 mins from where I live, so InshAllah I will visit soon. I know they help new reverts find a potential spouse, because some of the Arab brothers I’m friends with have gone to ask. They said the majority of sisters they talked to had a prospect of marrying a born Muslim so that in the future their children would learn the deen easier. Again not all but majority, and this was 2 months ago although it could’ve changed I don’t know. I don’t doubt Allah SWT has a plan for everyone but right now I’m just going to put it aside and focus on finishing my last 2 years of university. Many scholars note that there are people who Allah SWT has destined them to not find a spouse so that they may focus on the next life, and if that’s the case so be it.
Ma-Salama
Im so glad i found this video and the iv with tasneem is very fruitful for me as a disabled muslim woman. When i think about marriage i always thought would any normal man want to marry and take care of someone like me? Glad to see theres hope out there for someone like me.
Love u 💋
I feel like vomiting every time when “marriage” topic comes up. I dont feel like I’m ready to watch this video.
Therapy is there for a reason, it could be because you didn't have a good experience in your family or yourself. Or maybe you're too young 😅
I can empathise, its probably the toxic and controlling aspect of it in our cultures
Y’a Allah give us the ability to exercise the wisdom and truths we know as muslims. Let us break away from things we’ve learned in our communities, families and cultures that don’t align with Islam. Give us the strength to unlearn them and realign our lives with truth. May this way of life make our lives better as it was intended by You Allah and May we be able to see it in that light consistently. Give us protection from fitnah surrounding this part of life you’ve written for some and not for others. Give us the wisdom to exercise the sabr You give us. May Allah grant us all the necessary struggles to purge ourselves of any attachment that is not good for our heart, mind and soul.
*the loudest ameeeeeen to the sky and back*
Ameen
I am too early. I love this but need to scroll through comments 😂
At least I get to read yours 😂
waw there's a video talking about this actually, greattt super happy
What worked for you? Is there a video on that? Just wondering.
As a 25 year old men the major issue I have faced is most ladies want a great package. Specially get marry young is almost impossible for men if you don’t take help from parents. Most woman requirement what they want can be fulfil by a 50 year old man not a 25 year old . So I gave up and focussing in my career . I have postponed my marriage for next 5 years. Girl might have their own struggles but I feel mens issues are not well discussed. Or even bothered.
Ahaha, I learned the hard way, that apps are not the mf way of finding someone, and at this point i've given up, and i don't care. bye everybody.
Ive found my boyfriend through ok cupid and that was over 4 years ago. :) We are still super happy and trying to get married now. You never know! Good luck girl!
I agree with you. Dating apps don’t work at all and they are for sexually active people mostly.
I’ve never try dating or even talking to men. I just don’t see myself with someone, I just feel as though I won’t make a good partner so I’ve decided to be sad and alone.
You can be alone, but try not to be sad. You can find fulfilment and purpose in mastering something or championing a cause. Ralph Nader comes to mind. Great man who devoted his life to bettering his country and still going strong.
NOSHEEN!! Miss her videos so much! Much ♥️ to you both!
I wish Yasmin was my elder sister, she is so cool and has some really good insights
I love this video Tazzy thank you for bringing on such insightful people
Great idea to collect and share these experiences
Omg Tasneem! Just saw the video posted by somebody Siddiques channel (😅 sorry forgot the name) on the video in the mountain. Sp adorable mA. Have been on and off watching your videos but wishing you the best of this and the next. Had me feeling some feels, watching you shift into the next phase of life. This channel has a home in my life for comic relief but always wondering what you're upto next. 🙃😍
Yasmeen alhadi speaks so beautiful MaShAllah 🤩. The way she speaks makes me really want to listen 👏👏💯. You are also amazing tazzy phe ❤️❤️❤️✨✨✨
31, Punjabi Sikh and the pressure is so hard. It didn’t help that I’m 5’9 215 pounds with a inverted triangle shape and being ugly af . I think my parents have given up, the other day they told me that they are okay with a White guy.
As feminist as I am, it would be nice to meet someone, but I think at this point my time is up. I’ve accepted that I’m probably going to be single forever, but the thing that sucks is that my parents won’t let me move out and enjoy my life. I feel so trapped inside of the four walls of my parents house 😪😪😪😪
Your man is coming, just trust in the universe/god's plan for you, and your divine timing. You're a beautiful girl, just try to believe it if you can! Xxxx
omg not even 5 minutes into the video and im already living OHNOSHEENDIDNT I MISS YOU
AWWWW 😭😭😭❤️
At 32 and single living outside only make it hard because chooses is very limited and I'm glad my family not pushing it
I just checked your channel1hr ago to see if there was anything new now im so excited lol
Its not easy because even if u find a guy u like thats just the begning!! He wont marry u if hes not ready, not in love with u, doesnt know what he wants etc
I found my other half with the help of internet and one those god forsaken (astaghfirullah don’t mean to curse) “aunties” but that is a whole different story altogether lol.... really enjoyed your vid, keep em coming Taz.
If you are Muslim don’t forget to do istikhara if you are considering marrying someone! 💕
I am Mexican immigrant gal and non-Abrahamic religion as well as deaf in USA.
At this point, I do not want a partner. People want certain requirements and I do not fit them either in Mexican dating pool, Latinx dating pool or the USA dating pool.
Its fine. I will never find one.
I am 23 which is still fairly young, but I am tired of minority dating pool or the general dating pool. It will never be enough for them as who I am.
I kept deleting and redownloading these apps since I was 18. All the muslim apps actually had ao many more nasty guys in my opinion (that I came across) astaghfirullah. Downloaded Tinder out here in Dubai just to talk during covid 🤣🤣🤣 Actually found a husband there 😅. One in a million chance I tell you.
I've experienced similar. I've never actually used non-Muslim apps (for the specific fear that guys on there are only looking for hook ups so why bother) but it seems that that is all that the guys on Muslim apps are looking for too. My friend on the other hand is not Muslim so she used tinder and she's talked to many guys who were just normal and weren't looking for a hook up but were looking for a serious relationship. Some times I think Muslim guys are worse than non-Muslim guys. Maybe it's because their parents were so strict on them growing up so they go on apps to have their fun while they can until their parents force them to marry whatever girl they find.
okay tazzy, i'm a big fan of your content but i need to tell you that this specific topic , i needed to hear more from you. it was generic , you have been creating this special relation with us ,, and you made us feel like you can talk about anything and everything like we were all your friends,, but when you reached the topic of marriage ,, i juste felt like you have been very careful and extremely preservatif of your opinions on things. i do respect your privacy but you made it obvious that there is a big change in the direction of your channel , it feels like you switched from content creator to journalist .. i'm sorry for feeling this way.
If I recall correctly, she said somewhere that her husband does not want to be involved on the channel (not out of disinterest), so I assume that she is keeping more personal details about her life private out of respect for him.
@@FallingGuineaPig like i said I do respect her privacy.. I did not ask for TMI ..I'm just used to have her opinion on things , her experience or her close friends experience narrated by her.but in this specific video ..she was listening to other professional speakers that have a professional filter on them. I literally took nothing from the video. I was bored looking at her listening to them .
❤️
@@lindseykirsten1124 when we get used to something we tend to take it for granted. I'm proud of Tazzy for not comprising on her word. I personally really like the journalistic approach more because it paints a bigger and more accurate picture of our reality. I would imagine you indulge in her funny and quirky personality as we all do. At the end of the day, she chooses to be honest with herself and her viewers and I respect her so much for that. The content she went out her way to find and put together was beneficial to the Muslim community. May Allah bless her and protect her from the evil eye, envy and jealousy, from the harm that which she knows of and that which she doesn't know of. Ameen. It's at her complete and total discretion what and whom she wants to share her life with. We aren't entitled to anything from her. I hope she continues grow in Iman and ilm, and may Allah make her among those who are granted Jannat ul-firdous. Ameen.
@@sweetpapayasourpeach I do believe that she is free in her channel. But when you are a public personality you care for what your followers want... being known for something and literally having this personal signature made her have a place in everyone's heart.. her open jokes and personal experiences made her be tazzy . She has this habit of switching sides when she gets bored ..everytime she does this she loses a piece of her signature. And this video made her look just different..not the good different.. she was just unrecognisable .. and I don't mean to be this harsh..I am just being honest. I still like her and I won't unsubscribe.. I am telling it how it is for me .
I just imagined a muslim pizza place called salam-i oh no
@R A hehheheheh ❤️
Tazzy phe is so funny MaShAllah 🤣🤣🤣🤣❤️❤️❤️✨
Excellent video 👍🏼
Your prayers made me chuckle! 😁
MashAllah! Thank you for talking about this! A lot of times, once people get married, they forget about the struggles that they went through during singlehood lol, so thank you for thinking of us! :) I avoided the apps for YEARS, met people other ways like recommendations, or in person, or something like that, and finally at 30, I decided to download them...possibly one of the worst mistakes? :D I honestly feel like the apps are a punch to my self esteem :( So many of the guys on there seem like they are either fake profiles, or never get back to you haha! I'm like ummmmm is there something wrong with me :D but the crazy thing is, there are non-Muslim guys who I know in real life, who have their stuff together, are not afraid of COMMITTMENT, and I know they would marry me in a minute! So by abstaining from going in that direction (which I am not complaining about, because Allah swt knows why he made it so that we cannot marry non-Muslim guys), it just seems like the pickings are so slim lol. And even when I jumped on the apps that were not necessarily Muslim apps, the non-Muslim guys were swiping right?!?! I'm not naïve, I know they may have different intentions lol, but I'm just saying that it's not as much of self-esteem beat up session, on those apps. So, I just don't get it haha. I am Thankful however, that Allah (swt) has allowed me to go through this stage in my life, and I hope I can learn the lessons I need to! sorry for the whole novel!
Hey I feel you sister! I've had the same and similar experiences. If someone doesn't message you at all but hasn't seen your message then they might not be active on the app. If they did see your messages and didn't reply then they're just rude and why would you want to even consider someone insensitive? Just move on to the next guy. It takes a while to find a decent prospect but anything that's worth something is never attained for free. You get in what you put out and Allah is Al-Fattah. Make du'a using this name so that Allah will make it easy for you and open the doors of opportunity for you insha'Allah. I'm not married yet but du'a using intentional names and visualizing what I want has always made my journey more easy. Don't settle for less and when you get tired just take a break. Trust your gut and know your worth.
@@sweetpapayasourpeach ameen sis! ;)
Can you please share everyone’s @? Would love to see their content too!
Yes ! Please share their insta Tasneem. :)
The last sister's is @yasguru she has awesome posts about marriage, struggles, and more! I also really love her Marry Mondays that she does on her story every week, hope that helps!
Wow this was so helpful.
Yasmin had so many deep insights into our current world!
I had two profiles in two different dating sites, one was a muslim site and the other was a non-muslims site. It was much easier to meet someone on the non-muslim site and that is how i met my current wife who was christian catholic but a muslimah now (Alhamdulilah). I had noticed that the muslim sisters had a long list of conditons while her family had a list of thier own. So (Sisters) finding a husband is not difficult but meeting your expectations is hard...
Is there a vid about your love story and how it started? ❤️
Could you please share the social media accounts of the people you interviewed?
The last sister's instagram is @yasguru
Its not hard if you are rich. Its hard if you are poor.
Girls look at guys with money, Guys look at girls with beauty. Either way its hard for both girls and guys.
@@muslim_first That is such a huge generalization, women don't look for just money or even a man with a lot of money. I know me and my friends want a man that has a career and is responsible for sure, but we're not looking for someone who's rich (and personally I could care less if the man is wealthy). More importantly, physical attraction is absolutely important for women too. We need to stop with these stereotypes, both spouses deserve to feel attraction and have chemistry with one another.
Jasmin Al-Hadi, I don't know if I spelled your name correctly, but dear last interviewed woman in the video, thank you for your precious words or rather jazakallahu khayr/khayran or something like that. ^^
Okayyyy am lost should I download it or not am scared now😂 but last interview was so helpful.
Take your courage and put your trust in Allah. Lastly, make a plan and research marriage questions to ask. Feel the fear and do it anyway.
@@sweetpapayasourpeach thank you ☺️
Why do I feel like i should be paying to watch these? lool Love you Tazzy! Keep em coming ❤ ❤ ❤
This was such a good video. You're funny, sincere and sweet.
Also the last interview was on point!
U are so amazing
congrats on your wedding
I think the success rate of dating apps is the same as any other method of meeting people.
Ma sha Allah this was very beneficial video. However as Muslims, the words 'spouse' and 'partner' are synonymous and dont mean else.
great job!
What is the second interviewee Instagram ? Was it mentioned somewhere ?
I didn’t know you got married! Congratulations! But what’s your story? :)
Can you do like tips fod long distance relarionships kind of thing
Tazzy ❤️ I just like you so much! And thank you for this video ❤️
why is the outro so long? xD
Lmaoo i was wondering the same thing haha
Lol!
I take issue with calling immigrant Muslim parents controlling. All families can be overly-protective when it comes to marrying someone outside what they envision. She does mention that it can be an issue for non-Muslims tbf, but with non-Muslims it's not framed in terms of their culture and she does say "especially immigrant families"???
That's because Western parents tend to be more open minded and easy going. The American way is to "follow your heart and dreams". How many cultures have this mentality? White parents for the most part just want their kids to be happy. The reality is what it is. Don't take it personally. They didn't say ALL immigrant parents just most of them. From my experience in various Muslim communities this is true.
@@sweetpapayasourpeach That's too personal. Where's your evidence? Have you watched 90 Day Fiance? The parents there get protective too. And I take issue with suggesting immigrant parents don't want their kids to be happy. Also, you can't just accuse people of "taking things personally" for disagreeing.
@@afnandridi9595 protective is not the same as controlling. Asian communities have an element of culture that whites simply do not in most cases. Don't need stats to see what my own eyes show me everyday
@@stariehearts2366 I used the word protective intentionally because control is not done with an intention to help others, and I reject the premise that it's the norm for parents not wanting their kids to be happy, whatever the culture. Also Muslim =/= Asian.
If personal experience is enough to make general statements, then what happens when people's personal experiences differ?
How did you meet your husband? 😛
Aayyy you’ll get it (indian accent) 😜🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👍🏻
What’s the @ for the first girl you interviewed, I remember watching her content and loving it for years !
Maybe you should express yourself more respectful about the scene with minder and how it got its name
I know Muslims saying curse words is the new trend, but it still singes the hijab and the beard a bit, if you know what I mean. I.e. It is not cool at all.
But I still love 💕 you and as a Sister we are to take care of each other.
Good character doea not come from having a beard
Thx you that was a great video ❤️
Where do you get your scarves?
Feminism isn’t from Islam sis, our rights are given by Allah and not by logic there for it isn’t permissible 🌹
Wasnt yours arranged?
The apps made me want to pull my hair out
Let me tell you something interesting, when I first saw the face of the last interviewee, I wasn't least bit attracted to her, but after listening to her for 5 minutes, I now know that she had a point when she said that visuals have made it difficult for people to find a good spouse/
Super interesting! Great content and editing!
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OMG NOSHEENNNNN I REMEMBER HER VIDEOS SHE WAS SO FUNNY
😁
@@ohNOSHEENdidnt ahhh hiiii i miss your videos!!! a while ago i remembered your channel but i noticed you deleted/privated them all😭
@@shooomla2916 I miss making videos toooo, just felt bad I wasn’t giving the proper time to it all! Maybe I’ll return some day, but for now I have it all on private. 😭❤️
OH HAAAAY!!!!
@Maksud Mehraz no, I'm pakistani :)
We love tazzyyyyy