let's get deep about RELATIONSHIPS (dating, proposals, marriage, and the mahr)

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  • Опубликовано: 4 окт 2024
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Комментарии • 295

  • @RougeAli
    @RougeAli 2 года назад +408

    “Don’t do wifey things for a girlfriend price” yup yup yup

  • @ZED2.0
    @ZED2.0 2 года назад +357

    There's a lot that I agree with here: the surprise proposal thing has confused me too. It should be a mutual decision that has been thought out in advance.

    • @fatimacisse9751
      @fatimacisse9751 2 года назад +16

      Exactly, I’ve always been weirded out by it lol

    • @athirahsufyan7509
      @athirahsufyan7509 2 года назад +19

      SAME i was like FINALLYYY. finally someone is speaking out about it the westerners are always weird lmao

    • @galamander_1327
      @galamander_1327 2 года назад +20

      I've always found the histrionic displays of emotion over a marriage proposal to be a dangerous eclipse of what's really going on, a misdirection. Marriage is a social contract between two people and two families. It needs to be entered into clear-eyed, and clear headed. Women stand to loose more by being joined to the wrong man or to an unsupportive family. Not all Westerners believe the superficial hype and the fanfare.
      I'm speaking as a US born person of Central/Eastern Euro descent (so not really a Westerner by Western Euro standards, but a Westerner by Asian standards - UGH Labels!)

    • @laflaf125
      @laflaf125 2 года назад +10

      I think the fact that someone is going to propose shouldn't be a surprise but if it's where and how they do it then that's fine. Meaning that they should have discussed getting married before hand but the act of maybe formally asking and presenting the ring can be a surprise.

    • @gabriellemay8491
      @gabriellemay8491 2 года назад +4

      It's not usually actually a surprise.

  • @alishbaahmad2613
    @alishbaahmad2613 2 года назад +117

    Omg yes! The girls waiting for years for their man to propose, after giving everything to them, and then bawling their eyes out when he finally asks the question is always so puzzling.
    Loving your honest opinions Tazzy!

    • @silverstarlight9395
      @silverstarlight9395 2 года назад +3

      Instead of waiting for years for a man to propose, they can propose to the man themselves. Just swallow your ego and make the declaration of love to your partner, girl!

  • @hithere1113
    @hithere1113 2 года назад +306

    I was talking to this guy for a while w the intention of marriage and we really liked each other. We had the same sense of humor and similar values/goals in life. My parents, however, did not approve because he had bipolar disorder. My parents are very reasonable people and would never disapprove of someone for reasons like culture, appearance, race, etc. so I listened to them and as time goes on I guess I’m glad I did. When they first disapproved I was really distraught and kept making excuses for him. But I realized that I was writing off several other red (or pink?) flags (apart from Bipolar) like how he preferred that his wife stayed home (I want to work and am in grad school), wasn’t a great listener (would go on his phone while I was talking but would go on about himself for hours), etc. Overall, I really trust Allah SWT’s plan for me and I don’t plan on settling for less. I really liked this video because I think it gave me a little more faith in what’s written for me, inshAllah :)

    • @absolutelynobody3837
      @absolutelynobody3837 2 года назад +8

      What's wrong with preferring a wife take care of one's kids and prefer staying at home? The vast majority of real men are like that. Alhamdulillaah.

    • @nimrarashid552
      @nimrarashid552 2 года назад +22

      those were some big red flags u were missing

    • @nimrarashid552
      @nimrarashid552 2 года назад +66

      @@absolutelynobody3837 um preferring is ok but forcing someone to stay at home even when u know they dont want to is not allowed in islam. u cant force your wife to be a housewife if she dont want to. u can choose any other girl who actually wants to be a housewife rather than destroying someone's career

    • @hithere1113
      @hithere1113 2 года назад +2

      @@nimrarashid552 yep🙃

    • @absolutelynobody3837
      @absolutelynobody3837 2 года назад +1

      @@nimrarashid552 Actually, a husband IS allowed to stop his wife from going out. But it's a horrible, incompatible marriage in that case, which should have been talked over beforehand.

  • @auburnsunlight
    @auburnsunlight 2 года назад +63

    „Don‘t do wifey things at a girlfriend price.“ I‘mma quote you on that one for the rest of my life if that‘s ok 🙌🏼

  • @aimantahir5366
    @aimantahir5366 2 года назад +203

    Tasneem, the level of maturity this video exudes is...amazing. Every point you mentioned, hit me like me a bullet. I agree with what you said regarding Mahr, finding love, arranged marriage, loved ones being right sometimes and "surprise" proposals :D Also, I don't connect so much with people my age either!
    Really appreciate this new format of videos (I've been watching since you started RUclips and feel like I've been a part of your RUclips journey). More people need to listen to this. May Allah protect you from the evil eye. Wish you great happiness and success in this chapter of your life.

    • @muniraaliofficial
      @muniraaliofficial 2 года назад +3

      I agree- she executed and stated all her thoughts amazingly!

    • @user-xb4mh6jz3g
      @user-xb4mh6jz3g 2 года назад +1

      For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16
      Jesus was crucified, buried and then rose again on the third day believe in Him and you will have eternal life. Repent (turn away from your sins).

  • @anonymousravenclaw3364
    @anonymousravenclaw3364 2 года назад +35

    I'm a Christian girl and I LOVED this video. Your tips and experiences were really an eye opener. Sending you loads of love. Want more videos like this 🤗

  • @thesweadishfreak
    @thesweadishfreak 2 года назад +93

    My partner and I have a Rule that we never raise our voices in anger at Oneanother. If someone gets to worked Up they go away and come back when they are ready to have an actual conversation. Rly interest video!

  • @TheHouseElf
    @TheHouseElf 2 года назад +37

    I'm not of an Eastern/Muslim background but I do identify some of the things you named. I married at 22, and like you said, you don't always know what you need until you get it. I didn't know how much I was starved for having family and a support network, a happy home life, a best friend. The stability and peace i know now is one of the most important things to me.

    • @iramahmed2155
      @iramahmed2155 2 года назад +5

      Omg same I literally moved to my hubbys country and never thought I would live with my in laws I clearly said I wouldn't before marriage but just one thing led to another and I ended up living with them not wanting to. Now I feel so alone, I have no friends and now my friends back home don't talk to me I always tried to be a good friend I don't know what's wrong. I just feel really lost and helpless and alone tbh. Having support would make a person feel a lot better.

  • @telster103
    @telster103 2 года назад +93

    I agree with this video on so many points! As Muslims, we are hyper focused on Western ideals because we’re ingrained to think of them as the standard to work towards but when it comes to relationships, it does not always work.
    I think your point about the individualism in Western ideas of romantic relationships is most precise. And I can truthfully say that my husband and I are able to have what I think is a pretty healthy relationship we have because we are invested in it on multiple fronts, as individuals and from our families too. I think of myself, him, my family, his family when there’s some big decision to be made and even in small things, like adjusting things to make sure we spend Eid with both families. We have a mutual respect for each other’s families so much so that we think about them even in our dealings with one another, like he pushes me to spend more time with my parents even when that means sacrificing time spent with him and his family.
    My husband and I had an arranged marriage and my husband actually labels it as a “love” marriage because he says we liked each other after our families arranged for us to meet, so it’s more love than arranged.
    People love to say that you shouldn’t have to compromise for your spouse but that’s a very immature and selfish way of having a relationship. You both have to be willing to make adjustments because you cannot and will not align on every little thing. As long as you have similar principles and goals, you will manage. That’s also why it’s important to involve families, because you get a pretty good sense of the person based on their family background and their interactions with their family.
    Also, please just put out honest content rather than content for content’s sake! Doesn’t matter if it’s less often.

    • @Quotenwagnerianer
      @Quotenwagnerianer 2 года назад +5

      What many people outside the west seem to forget is that this is exactly how this worked in the west as well until the beginning of the 20th Century.
      There is a reason why arranged marriages died out and are now heavily frowned upon in the west. It was the women who said: "We have enough of this. We do no longer want to be bartered away like cattle for breeding."

    • @telster103
      @telster103 2 года назад +14

      @@Quotenwagnerianer Women in the west may have had that issue without the financial autonomy that Muslim women have had since Islam was established in Arabia. Under that system, women in the West were essentially being bartered in arranged marriages.
      Islamically (not what Muslims may or may not do), a woman has full rights to deciding who she wants to marry, so much so that a forced marriage is considered null.
      I made the decision to participate in the traditional arranged marriage process marry my husband, and have a child, on my own, of course with the input and guidance of people I respect and know have my best interest at heart, which fortunately includes both our families. I don’t think I was “bartered away like cattle for breeding.”

    • @sachdalal1440
      @sachdalal1440 2 года назад +9

      While I agree with mostly everything you said, I have found that many people are not defined by how they are with a family. Most of my friends and schoolmates have very different personalities and behavuor at home versus with friends because they always have to switch between often their “eastern” and “western” personalities. The true person I believe lies somewhere in the middle of those two and that’s why I don’t think seeing how someone is with their family is necessarily a good barometer by which to get a read on them.

    • @uwu-fm2kj
      @uwu-fm2kj 2 года назад +4

      oh please can we not do this dull bashing of supposed "westen culture" or "ideals". You seem to have a shallow understanding of it. Which is fine, but should stop you from making big claims.

  • @stavroulathebest
    @stavroulathebest 2 года назад +63

    Even as a non muslim i barely shared my relationship.I talked about a few things with close friends but nothing more than that.Shari g your relationship with many people can make it more stressful and make you feel like you are exposing yourself to people you dont trust and like enough

    • @ye23.
      @ye23. 2 года назад +11

      I dont only do this with relationships but with anything about my personal life. I share what I want you to know. i feel like the more ppl know the more they can use against you

    • @stavroulathebest
      @stavroulathebest 2 года назад +7

      @@ye23. yeah also that.I share specific things with specific people.Not everyone is "worthy" of knowing specific things about yourself

  • @zoyadean2884
    @zoyadean2884 2 года назад +35

    I’m so grateful for my husband, a lot of people in my family ask what I cook for him and if I clean the house etc and it always perplexes them when I tell them that we both share the household chores which includes cooking. Like the thought that a man knows how to cook and clean and doesn’t depend on his spouse to do the domestic work is such a foreign concept

    • @iramahmed2155
      @iramahmed2155 2 года назад +23

      Honestly regardless of gender everyone should know how to cook and clean its disgusting how its seen as a woman's job. A woman isn't there to clean after you clean after yourself. People with such mentality literally get the furthest away from me. 😅 the fact that both of you do the household work shouldn't be a foreign concept its society and culture that's made it as such. It needs to change.

    • @zoyadean2884
      @zoyadean2884 2 года назад

      @@iramahmed2155 100% agree!

    • @silverstarlight9395
      @silverstarlight9395 2 года назад +2

      That's why I like white men. They cook their own food, clean their own room and wash their own underwear. They don't need anyone to babysit them.

    • @iramahmed2155
      @iramahmed2155 2 года назад +4

      @@silverstarlight9395honestly I don't think its about anyone's race or ethnicity. As this misogynistic mentality that woman stay at home and cook and clean was present in all parts of the world including western countries. It's just that the western world have developed hence their mentality and views have changed too. The rest of the world who still have these views are following their outdated culture and need to realise its disgusting and wrong. And this starts at home where parents learn their children and not just their daughters about cleaning up after themselves. They need to stop cleaning up after their sons and then think when he gets married his wife will do it. It's the parents who give such mentality and such learning. They need to teach both genders the same and not teach that a woman is there to clean after you, she isn't a slave. They need to have respect anche change their disgusting mentality. Your mess is your mess to clean no one elses.

    • @silverstarlight9395
      @silverstarlight9395 2 года назад +1

      @@iramahmed2155 I agree. That's why my boyfriend is white. His mother raised him well.

  • @qazizaahirah4168
    @qazizaahirah4168 2 года назад +36

    This is like being in a therapy. So good!!!

  • @firefox1145
    @firefox1145 Год назад +4

    DO WHAT WORKS. So simple yet so true. We tend to overcomplicate things with all these rules and ideals. Totally agree

  • @HAmjad-zj5wt
    @HAmjad-zj5wt 2 года назад +25

    Tasneem you don’t need to be a strategy girl, please do as it works best for you. Such a pleasure to be a viewer for many years. :)

  • @Olivia-pj6fw
    @Olivia-pj6fw 2 года назад +22

    This is silly and not really relevant but I loved the promo for the handbag. "You can style so many different ways." While trying to put different cats in a handbag lol 😹 🐈 Thank You ❤

  • @DesignDrawDo
    @DesignDrawDo 2 года назад +50

    Tazzy. I absolutely love these videos, its like youre speaking to me right now. Im 23 and in exactly the phase you described your younger self as: socially awkward when the whole marriage talk comes around. I really dislike thinking of it even though deep deep down (somewhere REAL deep) I do want it...but maybe later😂. Thanks so much, you're like the big sister I never had 🥰

    • @AZK91
      @AZK91 2 года назад +2

      Don't be hard on yourself, I'm a 30 year old guy and I still feel the same 😂

  • @grothart2303
    @grothart2303 2 года назад +7

    there is a difference between intimacy and a relationship. for instance I love my wife, but I tell no one the details of how I love my life with my wife. the quirks and fascinating things that partners find in each other, now that's privet and between the two, and that is a wonderful miracle. this was wholesome and what I needed. thank you for your video. 🙂

  • @ZED2.0
    @ZED2.0 2 года назад +46

    Lol it's true why don't we have songs about getting Bs instead of As and having to tell your parents. Those experiences are just as valid 😂

  • @zuniamatullah6364
    @zuniamatullah6364 2 года назад +20

    OMG!!!! Tasneem! I’ve been depressed for the past three days, coz the guy I liked is getting married. This makes me feel so much better♥️ thank you!🥺

    • @rushialeema8321
      @rushialeema8321 2 года назад +9

      If he was meant for you hon, he would never have paired up in Nikaah with someone else. Allah has someone better Sis

    • @zuniamatullah6364
      @zuniamatullah6364 2 года назад +2

      @@rushialeema8321 true that! And I agree, however at times when you kind of get invested with someone and then things take a u turn, it does feel terrible. But Alhamdulillah, I’ve moved on and yeah, Allah has someone better. Thanks sis♥️

    • @rushialeema8321
      @rushialeema8321 2 года назад +3

      @@zuniamatullah6364 That is the spirit. Return to the Mender of broken hearts. This feels so hard right now (I have been here once too) it gets SO much better :) You just learn to love yourself more, than secondary characters in your Story x

    • @zuniamatullah6364
      @zuniamatullah6364 2 года назад

      @@rushialeema8321 awww glad to hear that! Jzkh ♥️

    • @notsomuchhere1387
      @notsomuchhere1387 2 года назад +3

      Awww

  • @DekaHana38
    @DekaHana38 2 года назад +17

    I always ask myself "Do I really want to get married or is it because I been pushed to do this?" I realized that I'm not looking for marriage at all like I have no interest in that. It is hard to navigate as a Muslim woman who doesn't want to be (at the moment only Allah knows) a mother or a wife. I'm currently 25 years old and I love being single and thank you for sharing your experiences!

    • @Sona77.
      @Sona77. 2 года назад +7

      I don't want to get married either. Glad I'm not alone.

    • @DekaHana38
      @DekaHana38 2 года назад +4

      @@Sona77. I'm so glad that I'm not alone

    • @jinfightingjin2758
      @jinfightingjin2758 2 года назад +4

      Me too, I can trust, men hate to be housewife.. But everyone want me that I get marry... No SoOry cannot.

    • @razer0072073
      @razer0072073 2 года назад +2

      Yes never get married or wait until you're in your 40s or 50s to get married

    • @luluah1198
      @luluah1198 Год назад

      @@razer0072073 if they wait that
      Long but want children there will be a higher likelihood of having trouble conceiving , that’s the facts of life basic biology

  • @LalaArtwork
    @LalaArtwork 2 года назад +15

    I loved this episode. The level of maturity you've shown here is outstanding. I wish you all the best in your married life, may Allah put barakah in your marriage, Ameen. I think posting once or twice a month with high quality videos is best.

  • @hannah7305
    @hannah7305 2 года назад +19

    as cliche as it sounds - get to know yourself first! I too thought speaking to and getting to know multiple people would help me learn what I want, but in reality it was only when I took a year out of searching that I truly understood what I wanted. Turns out it was a brother that was right in front of me, Alhamdullilah. also AGE - I was so paranoid that I was getting old and would run out of brothers willing to marry me, no no no, wait until you know yourself, whether thats at 25 or 35, its way more attractive (and healthy) to marry at that point.

    • @missc2091
      @missc2091 Год назад

      MashaAllah this is some words for me as i worry when i will marry. How old were you sis when you got married?

  • @amydastgheer9667
    @amydastgheer9667 2 года назад +38

    I didn't know what to ask for for my mahr (especially hard since I'm a revert with zero muslim friends to ask for advice) but ultimately after researching as best I could on my own I'm happy with what I decided on.

    • @haketyu7891
      @haketyu7891 2 года назад +1

      Mash'Allah I'm happy for you ☺

    • @ceilconstante7813
      @ceilconstante7813 2 года назад

      Do some searches. There's got to be a Muslim woman's site to chat.

    • @safa108
      @safa108 2 года назад +3

      I don’t know what to ask for and i am a muslim that’s surrounded by other muslims. I always think that i will know once i have met the right person.

    • @Sweetbunniez
      @Sweetbunniez 2 года назад +5

      Mehr is usually protection so if say you need to leave the marriage and don’t have a job, how much would you need until you’re ready to get back on your feet financially. Based on your city what’s the rent? So I would ask based on that

    • @haketyu7891
      @haketyu7891 2 года назад +3

      @@Sweetbunniez That's wt I say. A years worth of the average rental in ur city. It takes into account the cost of living and inflation if u do it like that too. Homemakers should get higher Mehr cuz of their lack of job, BUT women with jobs should still set their terms.
      It's unfortunate this is wt we think abt when thinking of our Mehr, a gift. But it is the reality of many women.
      It's unfortunate

  • @HafzTopic
    @HafzTopic 2 года назад +7

    You feel like a big sister I've never had. Love hearing what you have to say

  • @zaii1844
    @zaii1844 2 года назад +13

    Honestly, I just want to thank you for being so beautifully honest. I just finished watching the whole video and I can’t express how much this made me happy. Like thank youuuu. I felt so connected to it and also you sitting down like that I felt like I had a friend talking with me (p.s. ngl you do remind me of one my best childhood friends, so thanks again). May Allah SWT bless you and your marriage each and every day inshaAllah. ❤️❤️❤️

  • @mimim8758
    @mimim8758 2 года назад +8

    Love everything you had to say

  • @xBabyRawrX
    @xBabyRawrX 2 года назад +9

    I think WE get to choose what WE want :) I've learned a lot from both the American culture and the Mexican culture. I'm learning about Asian cultures and I love some of their values. I get to decide what I want and so do you!!

    • @tts6030
      @tts6030 2 года назад +1

      Smiled when I read this:)

  • @aria3326
    @aria3326 2 года назад +6

    I loved to hear your opinions and, as somebody who is not so sure about marriage atm, it's given me a different perspective on the topic, so thank you so muchhhhh!
    I think videos similar to this style (and the previous one about oppression) are pretty cool and fun to watch. So, if this stuff is easier to film for you, then maybe you can keep this going and drop an occasional 'difficult-to-film' video about stuff you're passionate about. As for the schedule, I'm a pretty chill person so dropping a video whenever you like is fine with me.
    Love you and your stuff! xxx

  • @PinkDreamin
    @PinkDreamin 2 года назад +20

    You made me smile throughout this video. 🥰 I enjoyed your personality and I’m so happy this video was recommended. You made so many excellent points. My favorite is that a woman should be secured in a marriage. An equitable mahr must be presented. I’m a western lady and I love this eastern value. Thanks for sharing. 💕✨

    • @razer0072073
      @razer0072073 2 года назад

      Men want fertility women want security

  • @zhenali6752
    @zhenali6752 2 года назад +10

    I am in an arranged marriage situation that I have had no say in. The wedding is in a month or two and I am so miserable.

    • @ebtisamali359
      @ebtisamali359 2 года назад +7

      Sis dont you get married specially if your not physically attracted to the person you will hate yourself forever! Why dont you have a say it's your life?

    • @Karen.Knows2.0
      @Karen.Knows2.0 2 года назад +13

      If you have no say in it then it’s a forced marriage. Get out and get help!

    • @HIL_ANI
      @HIL_ANI 2 года назад +5

      That’s called forced marriage. Stand up for yourself please 😭

    • @zhenali6752
      @zhenali6752 2 года назад

      @@HIL_ANI I am unable to find a way out. My family isn't even listening. They tell me I should be grateful to them. With each passing day I feel like killing myself.

    • @HIL_ANI
      @HIL_ANI 2 года назад +7

      @@zhenali6752 are u able to ask for help? Like from the police?

  • @zuglymonster
    @zuglymonster Год назад +1

    Every couple I see posting about "he/she's the best thing ever!! were so in love" constantly will have "I HATE THEM SO MUCH!!!!" in a few days all the time

  • @rabeataleb95
    @rabeataleb95 2 года назад +7

    Dang, felt like I was hearing myself talk lmao Especially that part about your younger days and how you were ''less approachable'' in some way

  • @salmaakay
    @salmaakay 2 года назад +2

    Tasneem I just want to say I hope you're smiling and your days are filled with laughter as you have given me so many moments of laughter/ lightheartedness in my day

  • @americayahya8439
    @americayahya8439 2 года назад +2

    You spoke to 14 year old me 🥺❤ and yes, you can and should feel free to talk about these topics. Thank you for your videos, sis. Love from Detroit

  • @aaminakhurram1392
    @aaminakhurram1392 2 года назад +18

    Personally, I'd like 1 or 2 higher quality videos a month, but then again, everything you make is super high-quality!

  • @bintam5034
    @bintam5034 2 года назад +3

    This video was like fresh air to me if I compare to what we always hear and see on the internet. I totally agree with you not displaying your couple on social media even though it's very entertaining to us and "feeds" our curiosity. It's YOUR life, your happiness, it's too precious to be used as a regular good. And same for us, "non influencers", sharing my life with my "friends" on IG was kinda rewarding but I kinda stopped when I realized it was actually unhealthy
    Anyways may Allah put many blessings and happiness in your life and in your marriage ❤️
    For the question at the end, I prefer less videos with higher quality to posting for posting :)

  • @bistander
    @bistander 2 года назад

    A good amount of time these days the couple decide together. And it's a moment, it's tears of joy, and people cry when on their wedding day, everyone has their thresholds. I can cry talking about cute kitties lol

  • @haticekubraklnc5335
    @haticekubraklnc5335 2 года назад +1

    thanks
    You made me feel like I was a guest at your home and just the two of us had a friendly conversation.
    I needed a talking like this

  • @sanakhawaja7210
    @sanakhawaja7210 2 года назад +8

    Really enjoyed this video and thank you for sharing your thoughts and opinions. The rule at the end really makes sense. And at first I thought it was generally known part of communications however it's so important and vital to have it conferred and accepted as a RULE. No and, if or buts.

  • @asmaak.8640
    @asmaak.8640 2 года назад +4

    I love just listening to you. I could liaterally sit hours just listening to your videos, because these topics and your approach and how u deliver ur message is so calm, mature and real …just p e r f e c t

  • @bigl7752
    @bigl7752 2 года назад +4

    The comment at 10:08 about American society is SPOT ON! Thank you for saying it out loud!!

    • @HIL_ANI
      @HIL_ANI 2 года назад

      There’s nothing wrong with crying and being happy when someone proposes. They know their partner is going to propose it’s just cause it’s unexpected

    • @bigl7752
      @bigl7752 2 года назад +2

      @@HIL_ANI maybe you should rewatch the video. That part was moreso about the paradox of so many women calling themselves feminists but then wait around for the guy to decide if he’s going to marry her instead them taking charge and making decisions for themselves. Very paradoxal. But yeah…sure. :)

    • @HIL_ANI
      @HIL_ANI 2 года назад

      @@bigl7752 oh I’m sorry about that yes that is true I get what you mean. She has a point

    • @bigl7752
      @bigl7752 2 года назад +3

      @@HIL_ANI yes it’s crazy! As much as women scream about being liberated etc etc , it seems that they still somehow perpetuate these patriarchal ideals. But i think that speaks volumes as to just how pervasive and ingrained in American culture the patriarchy is.

  • @aneebaba06
    @aneebaba06 2 года назад

    Thanks for this Tasneem! Very on-point about how family is usually looking out for you/us when we can't see the whole picture, are blinded by feelings etc

  • @aseelmh4530
    @aseelmh4530 2 года назад +1

    I'm not married or in a relationship and i found it this video very amusing. Apparently it doesn't really matter what topic you discuss, it will eventually be amazing ❤️

  • @johannaliceaga5936
    @johannaliceaga5936 2 года назад +2

    I really like these talks tazzy thank you… I wish I would’ve listens to this advice before… I’ve been in a relationship for 10 years we have a kid and it’s too late for me to start all over that’s why we don’t break up… at one point I thought I was so in love and now I realize that I was wrong for “following my heart” instead of doing what I knew was right…

  • @drasc1470
    @drasc1470 2 года назад +1

    I like that you hit many different aspects with your videos and that they're so detailed. For that reason I prefer quality > quantity

  • @FR-ud4ux
    @FR-ud4ux 2 года назад +3

    Omg those products from vivaia look amazing

  • @4c_Hijabi
    @4c_Hijabi 2 года назад +2

    Quality over Quantity always Tazzy! And quality takes time. So once a month gives us something to look forward to and gives you time to create something you're 100% happy with

  • @shaheer.g
    @shaheer.g 2 года назад

    I think one of the most important ideas you brought up is not just to blame others and look inwards when things go wrong. It's not always everyone else

  • @suraya_a
    @suraya_a 2 года назад +2

    every single thing you said was on point. i got married almost 2 years ago and we dated but had families involved- and there was no proposal, we just talked about it! if anything i brought up marriage to him. never understood the surprise proposal thing.

    • @razer0072073
      @razer0072073 2 года назад

      You wanted him to propose because you want security, comfort and to not end up alone.

    • @suraya_a
      @suraya_a 2 года назад

      @@razer0072073 i didn’t want him to propose lol. i wanted to discuss marriage. why the surprise proposal ritual

  • @ifra99
    @ifra99 2 года назад +4

    I relate to this so much! You always talk about these topics from such a real and genuine place, very rare on YT. Appreciate these videos a lot Tazzy! Keep ‘em coming! ✌️

  • @amnaiqbal2030
    @amnaiqbal2030 2 года назад +1

    Quantity/consistency > 1-2 high quality videos a month. So long as its good for your mental health and well-being! Loving all the vids

  • @ridazaidi2820
    @ridazaidi2820 2 года назад +1

    Dating, proposals, marriage...AND THE MATRIX!!!
    ...is how I first read the title of this video. 😂😂😂

  • @sum7657
    @sum7657 2 года назад +2

    agree with everything what you said darling...blessings!!

  • @suhasalameh2145
    @suhasalameh2145 2 года назад +1

    Once or twice a month with great content is much better!
    I loved everything you had to say in this video, wanted to answer back on a lot of points, but “love it all” sums it up! Couldn’t agree more on every point!

  • @PanjsheriiGak
    @PanjsheriiGak 2 года назад

    the last advice is golden i swear. people dont realise

  • @elhadichaima1490
    @elhadichaima1490 2 года назад +2

    You brought up so many good points Macha’Allah 👏🏻👏🏻 we need more of this !! Thank you sis and may Allah put baraka in your marriage 🥰

  • @fatimaz1332
    @fatimaz1332 2 года назад

    that was actually really good I haven't thought that a podcast can be so informative and open your eyes to many other things that weren't aware of, thank you

  • @canwenot7095
    @canwenot7095 2 года назад +4

    "Don't do wifey things at a girlfriend price."
    "Sometimes you don't know what you need until you get it."
    < fave quotes

    • @silverstarlight9395
      @silverstarlight9395 2 года назад +1

      If wifey things mean showing love to the person you love, how is it different from being a girlfriend? I love my boyfriend as much now as I will if/when we get married. So why not show him the love I feel for him? Making love is just that, making love. It is no less pure or relevant when done by unmarried couples than it is when done by two people who sign a piece of paper

    • @ummiehummie
      @ummiehummie 2 года назад +3

      @@silverstarlight9395 It's normal to miss the point if you think marriage is just signing a piece of paper

    • @idrk1507
      @idrk1507 Год назад

      @@silverstarlight9395
      POV: you missed the point entirely

    • @silverstarlight9395
      @silverstarlight9395 Год назад

      @@idrk1507 please explain what I missed! I'd like to be educated on how to show love to my boyfriend from a stranger on the internet.

    • @silverstarlight9395
      @silverstarlight9395 Год назад

      @@ummiehummie it is just that my dear! You don't suddenly grow horns or develop superpowers when you get married. Literally nothing changes except a flimsy piece of paper.

  • @unmbera
    @unmbera 2 года назад +3

    such a great video Tazzy, I always appreciate your perspective

  • @hooreid3426
    @hooreid3426 2 года назад

    this is the first video i watch for u and could u not you just gained another subscriber - i love how you just say what you think! also love your humor

  • @neemadedes4562
    @neemadedes4562 2 года назад

    Your voice is so soothing this was so refreshing to watch ☺️☺️💖

  • @cameliaamazigh3697
    @cameliaamazigh3697 2 года назад +1

    Excellent excellent points. You’re amazing. Looooooved it. You’re dope. Your voice is mad smoothing, too. Keep these types of videos going. You have a podcast voice no gunna lie.

  • @soumayyata4493
    @soumayyata4493 2 года назад

    it's as if my older sis was counseling me, this was very insightful barakAllahu feeki dear Tasneem

  • @fatimamirza3530
    @fatimamirza3530 2 года назад

    This is the first video I'm watching of u- girl spilling nothing but facts

  • @Thesooperdooperme
    @Thesooperdooperme 2 года назад

    I like these types of videos even if theyre less frequent. JazakAllahkhair for your content ❤

  • @EemaanCanFly
    @EemaanCanFly 2 года назад +1

    I like that she said it was mine and she dont want to share

  • @TheMrpalid
    @TheMrpalid 2 года назад +2

    Extravagant mahr. Move on gentlemen. I speak from personal experience.

  • @ardaona
    @ardaona 2 года назад +1

    10:00 what a great point!

  • @bensonbeebarry2055
    @bensonbeebarry2055 2 года назад

    AMAZING. Honestly you hit the nail on the head about these topics, great video sis.

  • @afrahrage5165
    @afrahrage5165 2 года назад +1

    when i tell you i was literally smiling from ear to ear listening to this!!! sister may Allah swt bless you on so many levels bc as sad as this may sound, you are one of the very few people that i personally know or seen that has spoken about this topic in such a mature and realistic manner. it's been hard to see others around you live for this dunya and throwing aware their values and beliefs just to fit in with the likes of others but you honestly made me realize that there are still people out there who think and advocate the way you or i would. i agree with everything you said in the video and even chuckled at some points of yours, throwing my hands up in the arm in agreement " RIGHT!?!!" loool all this to say i'm so happy yt recommended me this video/your channel. i am now glad to call myself a new subscriber yay!! brb gonna go binge watch all your videos and while I'm at it I'll turn on the post notifications for your next upload! much much love from Toronto, Canada!!

  • @Cheesecake_mmm
    @Cheesecake_mmm 2 года назад

    Your content is one of a kind. You make me laugh and I love your authenticity x

  • @sblue3443
    @sblue3443 2 года назад +2

    Always looking forward to your uploads!!!

  • @dianahernandez3509
    @dianahernandez3509 2 года назад +2

    Love the Turkish mug!!

  • @shamajan1969
    @shamajan1969 2 года назад +1

    This was lovely. Thanks for the kindness.
    :)

  • @ma_niz
    @ma_niz 2 года назад

    This is a really important video. You're doing a lot of good by sharing your knowledge and advice in an approachable manner

  • @safiyyahkhan
    @safiyyahkhan 2 года назад +1

    This is great
    It came to me at the right time when I'm so unsure about the whole marriage thing. Thank you so much. The whole it gets better made me feel tons better

  • @gemgem5401
    @gemgem5401 2 года назад

    Omg she is so me talking about being socially awkward and not having proposals,being single stuff

    • @gemgem5401
      @gemgem5401 Год назад

      @Anna Anna because there is no one whom I can propose to around me

  • @aksaarshad9271
    @aksaarshad9271 2 года назад

    love thissss, I think perhaps fcous on one high quality video per month

  • @kimberlyramirez9874
    @kimberlyramirez9874 2 года назад

    I love this video! And I so relate to about being more challenging with socializing with people my age…I just feel like younger and older people are focused on what life really is and are more honest with themselves (for the most part) with what they’re feeling and sometimes people in the middle are so caught up with the vanity of life and it’s hard to get to a real and deep level where it’s not like I’m just talking about achievements and goals…idk just food for thought - really appreciate your perspective and these videos

  • @lindseykirsten1124
    @lindseykirsten1124 2 года назад +2

    Ps: machallah ypu have à soothing and calming voice

  • @reemaakash778
    @reemaakash778 2 года назад

    I just came across this video and I loved it!! Definitely subscribed!!

  • @ayeshashei4715
    @ayeshashei4715 2 года назад

    You really are like the big sister that I never had (thank you)

  • @chaeun-woon8405
    @chaeun-woon8405 2 года назад +1

    I love watching you and nafisa

  • @lightening791
    @lightening791 Год назад

    Very interesting discussion. I enjoyed this

  • @godlovesusall8115
    @godlovesusall8115 2 года назад

    I LOVE YOUR AUDIO PLEASE KEEP IT

  • @saraa7117
    @saraa7117 2 года назад +2

    I pressed 👍🏼 10:15 you got it 😂.
    I never understood why it is a surprise to get proposed to?? however it should be surprising if he doesn’t propose to you after dating him. Moreover I think people should become open to the marriage discussion, this topic is so vague in the current society. I know for a fact that most women talk about how they are happy with the dating but deep down want a proposal or marriage after years of dating yet they can’t discuss it because they get scared to make their dream man run away. Like wth?????

    • @silverstarlight9395
      @silverstarlight9395 2 года назад

      Do men also want a proposal or marriage after years of dating? Are they also scared of making their dream woman run away?

  • @bootsmade4walking
    @bootsmade4walking 2 года назад +1

    LOVE this episode!!! ❤️❤️❤️

  • @nasiimb150
    @nasiimb150 2 года назад

    Once a month where you post a more high quality video sounds better 🧡

  • @zoyamahil
    @zoyamahil 2 года назад

    bro im so glad this popped up in my recommendated :)

  • @bootsmade4walking
    @bootsmade4walking 2 года назад +4

    Hey Tazzy!! Have you thought of getting advice from a more experienced RUclipsr on strategy? I'm really loving the content you are creating and I think balancing quantity with quality will be your sweet spot. In terms of growing your channel (quantity) while making it truly worthwhile for yourself and those who watch (quality). You really seem to be growing into yourself these days, MashaAllah! So proud of you -- looking forward to hearing more of your insights and the videos you bring to life! This community truly needs your voice. It's rare and inshaAllah will have a lasting positive impact, especially for Muslim women and girls trying come into their own ❤️

  • @hafsahkhan3665
    @hafsahkhan3665 2 года назад +23

    Yes!! The Mehar thing!! I think some Muslim men get so offended when you ask for a decent amount and make you feel bad for not asking for a kitten like it’s my God given right, who are you to take that away from me???

    • @razer0072073
      @razer0072073 2 года назад +2

      So every girl does have a price for them to give it up?

    • @razer0072073
      @razer0072073 2 года назад +4

      @Mariyam Bashir Marriage is a business deal. Men want fertility women want security, stability, children, comfort and the fact that they don't want to end up alone.

    • @TheMrpalid
      @TheMrpalid 2 года назад +1

      @Mariyam Bashir repercussions of divorce? In the court systems of the West, the women are getting more than a fair deal.

    • @luluah1198
      @luluah1198 Год назад

      @@razer0072073 How romantic how many years have you been married 😂.

    • @razer0072073
      @razer0072073 Год назад

      @@luluah1198 Romantic? Do you actually believe vvomen love men unconditionally?

  • @nageily
    @nageily 2 года назад +1

    This was so helpful.✨

  • @user-px4ol4wm4u
    @user-px4ol4wm4u 2 года назад +10

    I genuinely feel like I’ll never find someone- I don’t show my face on social media, I struggle to show my personality around the opposite gender and my family aren’t ‘well connected’ so I’d have no possibility of an arranged marriage either. I know that Allah has already written what is best for me but sometimes I see myself comparing myself,f to others who’ve easily found relationships.

    • @glamourgirl361
      @glamourgirl361 2 года назад

      You could ask in a mosque if there are any men who want to marry. Just let the word out that you youre looking for marriage. Idk if this is naive but you could try at least

    • @razer0072073
      @razer0072073 2 года назад +1

      You don't have to get married you know

    • @razer0072073
      @razer0072073 2 года назад +1

      @@glamourgirl361 Why get married? Live the single life girl

    • @cherryblossom6551
      @cherryblossom6551 2 года назад +4

      Hi sis, I recommend reading the book "smart single muslimah" by Farhat Amin :) There is more we can (actively) do then we realise. For instance, work on your self and your goals and automatically more doors will open, you can trust me on this 100% sis. Also, try to get to know new sisters, make connections with aunties, get involved with the community and before you know it proposals will head your way inshaaAllah. But, remember it's not about receiving proposals, it's about knowing what is important in life and properly knowing yourself. Once you receive your first proposal you will realize that getting a proposal is not the difficult part, it's figuring out what you want and if this is good for your dunya and akhira or not.
      Wish you all the best, may Allah make it easy for you!

    • @blankblank5397
      @blankblank5397 2 года назад

      Please do not listen to the other advice under ur comment, and trust me, I am just like you, but it can work! Try signing up for sunnah match, u don’t need to show ur pic or anything. It does cost money but u can try to get a discount, they usually have one

  • @LilySaintSin
    @LilySaintSin 2 года назад

    I think you're right about couples overcompensating.

  • @bettybotterbutter
    @bettybotterbutter 2 года назад

    How did you get so wise at such a young age?? Especially love your last point!

  • @haleemamohamed8258
    @haleemamohamed8258 2 года назад

    Enjoyed every second of it ❤

  • @zaii1844
    @zaii1844 2 года назад

    I am loving this video so much!! 💗💗💗

  • @potato-pz6tu
    @potato-pz6tu 2 года назад

    your videos are very informative and amazing masha'allah. i love these style of videos.

  • @lrx001
    @lrx001 2 года назад

    I come from a Catholic background but recently converted to Islam. My partner and I live together in a small apartment and we have talked about marriage but it would be at least another two years before we are financially able to get engaged (money for a ring) or get married. We don't want a big wedding but it would still cost lots of money that we don't have until we are out of grad school. He's in law school and I'm a Ph.D. student. I think marriage if it happens, will happen if we are ready and able. I would like a nice proposal but the ring will be picked out in advance and I will know he's going to propose, I just won't know how he will do it. I like that idea of a proposal. But yeah I agree with a lot of what you're saying Tazzy!