10 Secrets ALL Narcissists Keep
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- Опубликовано: 16 июн 2024
- This video exposes the secrets narcissists keep, like their false self and persona, gaslighting, and cheating. It reveals what the narcissist doesn't want you to know about their secret life, lies, and what they're hiding, including how vengeful narcissists will self-destruct for revenge when discarded. Learning about narcissistic personality disorder, narcissistic abuse, and the narcissist's false mask helps abuse survivors recover from narcissists' manipulation.
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** *In this video, I share the tips, techniques and insights that have worked for me in my own journey of healing after narcissistic abuse along with expert tips and tools I've learned through years of coaching narcissistic abuse survivors. I am not a therapist and this video is not meant to provide therapy of any form. #narcissist #covertnarcissist
0:00 Introduction - What secrets do narcissists not want you to know?
0:29 Secret #1 - Why seeking revenge on a narcissist can backfire
1:13 Insight from the comments on revenge
1:49 Secret #2 - What the narcissist's mask hides
2:27 Evidence of the narcissist's insecurity
3:15 The narcissist's shame and projection
4:23 Narcissists and toxic shame
5:07 Insight on the narcissist's shame reaction
5:47 Secret #3 - What the narcissist hopes you don't notice
6:36 Look at the narcissist's actions, not words
7:01 Secret #4 - The narcissist's surprising need
8:09 Why you're exhausted around a narcissist
8:57 Secret #5 - How the narcissist gets supply
10:12 Avoid emotional reactions
11:05 Advice on not feeding the narcissist
11:22 Secret #6 - What the narcissist knows
12:54 Smear campaigns when you figure them out
13:45 Consequences of exposing a narcissist
14:19 Secret #7 - What love means to a narcissist
15:26 Replacing the word "love"
15:47 Evidence it's not love
16:21 Secret #8 - Are you special to a narcissist?
17:04 When the narcissist calls you special
17:48 Early emotional abuse
18:51 Secret #9 - How easy it is to hurt a narcissist
20:21 Insight on triggering the narcissist
20:39 Protect your peace
🔍 Suspect someone you know might be a narcissist?
Uncover the truth with this FREE checklist. It breaks down the phases of abuse, allowing you to assess your experiences. Download your checklist now: www.commonego.com/checklist
I have a big question for you. Are narcissists simply mentally handicapped in a similar way a sufferer of ASPD lacks functionality in the part of the brain responsible for empathy, or are narcissists outright villains by nature beyond help and best avoided when found?
I ask this because I hear everywhere about those abused by narcs, support going out to their victims as it should, but I hear nothing about narcissists being urged to seek help, let alone redeem themselves, I.E the agreed upon stance I've seen so far is narcissists are inherently villains and monsters and are lost causes due to lacking the will to be capable of being anything less. Thats why I ask? Are they lost souls that can be rehabilitated and redeemed, or are they monsters to the core?
They also have crazy fetishes. Mine had a fetish of drinking pee. It will get him aroused, but he will not be sexual. He was a compulsive liar. I found out he would go on websites looking for women to pee on in, in his mouth and in his car. He would also ride around looking for places where pee spots are. He blamed me for a lot of things, but he will never take responsibility of his actions and will never apologize for his wrong. He was crazier than I thought.
Yes I was physically exhausted by narcissists.I now move on quickly.
This is very true
My wife is beautiful and sexy with mad chef skills... so yes, color me addicted. Unfortunately, she does not know how to love or participate in a romance where both partners attempt to put each other first. It doesn't matter that I've taken her all over the world and bought her whatever she wants, she thinks her insecurities are best addressed through controlling behavior, false accusations of infidelity (while she openly flirts infront of me and denies it) domestic violence (she is a violent alchoholic), and demeaning, belittling comments which include body shaming me by comparing me to how her ex's were endowed🫏, and telling me that her ex's who repeatedly cheated on her and only came back to her to use her body were better than me - they're better men than me. She does however have no complaints about the number of orgasms in her life, but she writes that off as me just using her for sex and her cooking. I wouldn't use the word "using", but yes, no complaints there. Her mistake in picking me as a source is that I know who I am. I am a Christian, non- toxic, Alpha Male Warrior, 21 year combat vet, father of 5 combat Vets including my daughter. I've never had any complaints about Sexual performance (just the opposite) and already have been through the attempted character assassination, financial and life destruction event that is the mother of my children after she cheated on me while I was deployed for the umpteenth time (for a year at a time) in combat. Why are you still with your current wife you might ask? Because I am, too the best of my abilities, a Christian in Word and deed. I believe in the sanctity of marraige, that it should not be entered into or left in haste and that what God has brought together let no man put asunder. There are things I love about her that I want in my life, things about her I do not want to lose. She is the best daughter, sister, mother, and grandmother I know. I can't imagine being in a knife fight with anyone else at my back, she is the walking breathing epitome of having a tiger by the tail - in every way imaginable. When things are good, they're great - we love, laugh, enjoy each other's grandbabies, and are polically and spiritually in synch. But when things are bad, I feel like I need a professional exorcist. I literally feel like I'm dancing with the devil, and when I look into those demonic eyes, I know why she never had to spank any of her 4 kids. And those 4 kids and their kids are as awesome as mine, and I love them like I love my own... but she has now poisoned them to me. She keeps taking things away, the cooking, the sex, the family, all while trying to make me feel guilty for wanting to spend time with my family. When it comes to being a wife and life partner engaged in a romance for the ages... let's just say being increasingly verbally and physically abused, having false allegations of DV resulting in two trips to jail that threaten my security clearance (I still advise the military) has never on my list of "must haves" in a relationship...and at this point, I'm pretty sure I know what an eternity in hell is going to be like and I do not want to go there - or go back to jail, that was just disgusting. Altho I do believe I have a future in prison ministry and have grown exponentially in the Godly traits of forgiveness, mercy, patience and long-suffering... Silver linings...
I may be the only "type" of man who can help her... but now, after watching these videos (mind blowing) and knowing exactly what I'm up against for the first time (thank you) and reading the comments here where everyone is saying don't just run, but run fast and don't look back, I'm like WTF? Now that I'm familiar with both the disorder and the childhood trauma that likely caused it (sexually abused by family member, date raped at 14, pregnancy, abortion... what kind of real man leaves when the going gets tough? All I know for a fact, is that everything here in this life is temporary, everything in the next is eternal, and we are admonished by the Creator of the universe to lay our treasure up for the next life (heaven) where moth and rust do not destroy.
I have newfound respect for what you and your profession do to help those dealing with this and other disorders...
I love her...help?
They poke and poke until you react.
One I worked for asked me multiple times if my family was inbred. I don't think he thought I was smart enough to know what that meant. But the fact he kept asking...poking.
Got that right, open door walk out, never look back.
It's not your monkey...
And then they tell you that you love causing drama and they pretend to be offended by your reaction
My mother used to do this and then be like ahh that’s the real you when she had me at the end of my tether !
My mother -evil
The best is no reaction, no contact, silence..
Doing this now
Gift of your silence
But don’t you get that all the time from them
But that what they want lol. They give that and they with your to hurt you they don’t care if you go lol
Yes so glad i left
When the Devil can't reach you he sends a NARCISSIST!!
Oooppp
Hope there ready for a narc slayer then 🤣🤣🤣🤣🙏
I think it's God because he's a jealous God. And you can't love someone "more" than him.
Wow that is true 🙏
Real Talk
I know... my ex husband started to call me a psychopath. I was like what? I am kind and helpful. Well I went to library to borrow all the books about psychopathy and I realized they were describing him... it is called mirroring
Mirroring is when they pretend to like the same things as you do.
Accusing you of what they are is called Projecting
It's called projection
exactly that ..
My narc is the biggest hoover mirror er
It's also how they blame you or accuse you of doing what they do.
They are very draining, and love to talk about other people like they dont do anything wrong. It's so crazy. 🤐😬😤😖🤯
I realised this lately...will speak about ppl as though they do no wrong
😳😳 sooooo!! right!!
They can do no wrong they are perfect
🎯
They are the biggest pain in the behind if you ask me
"narcissists are a walking contradiction." Truer words have never been spoken.
I SOLVED THAT PROBLEM, MULTIPLE TIMES! JSUT TOLD THE; = ' ' - ALRIGHT? - ' ' = HAVE IT YOUR WAY. - ' ' THEY WILL CHOKE ON THEIR OWN ARROGANCE & STUBBERNNES! TRY IT? DO IT??! IT ALWAYS WORKS TO ME!!
#1- NOT, QUITE SO?!! - #2 - HAVE IT YOUR WAY!! AND THIRD? - #3 - I JUST LEAVE THINGS QUIETLY @ THAT, AND I LEAVE!! THE LAST / #3 REALY TEALLY HURTS THEM! NOT, QUIT, AS MUCH, AS EAERLIER THEY DID HURT = M E! = IT WORKS, DARN WELL TO ME!!
As soon as you find out they're a narcissist. Run a mile before you get any feelings for them.
Exactly!
Is true … my ex boyfriend left me come back after 3 months . I took him back but nothing was the same … I tried hard .. I left him a lot of times after that I decided to leave him forever and he always says that is me blaming him for everything … which is crazy … he says that I’m very bossy which is not true but he wants me to believe that … I just pray to god ti help me to forget him … and continue life without him … is sad that everyone wants to put the fault in you ..
Found out after the discard. And im so drained havent been able to work att all no income and sure no energy to start running.
For 10 long years i was stuck in this hell. Unable to work for 3... lets not talk avout trust issues. Pretty sure im done having a partner. I rather die alone than with just another psycho...
Run 2 miles. 💥💯
@@mikaellindqvist5599 Me too. It's been over 4 months. They say we're going to "get over it" and "stop worrying." And "leave it alone" etc. And I'm WTF NO! It fucking HURT like shit!!!!!
Here’s a big one you should always expect from a Narcissist, THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SOMEONE ELSE! Always!
Thank GOD!
Triangulation
truth
So glad to hear people using they. Birds of a feather certainly do flock together. And a narcissist also who has someone else there will not allow you to move on either. They will always find you and act like or tell everyone else your the psycho or narcissist and keep you socially isolated. They will say their "overs" only after they sink you financially and think you can't get anywhere else and if you do They will just keep finding you bringing you down th their level.
From early on when he'd get drunk he'd say "no matter what anyone says, you're the only one" and I didn't understand...until I did! 😢
Even when they "get help" I find that they tell the therapist that they're a victim at home but they're actually the abuser, then they get really good at pretending that they're cured because to them, therapy is just theater school.
It's horrible. The only thing that ever worked for me was silence and zero contact.
Had marriage counseling which just started 2 weeks ago, I got very upset because he was sitting up there lying playing innocent which the therapist starting targeting me, and I really felt hurt because it was like no one understands, and I really felt he thought it was a game, I feel the therapy is to come clean and be open and honest for healing rebuilding it was terrible I felt so angry on the inside, then right after that he called a friend of ours that referred us to the Couseling telling them about what happened.. then in our first session he told the lady that she reminds him of his mother which seems to me like your trying to Condition the person at the beginning
It's like they all follow the same script. Mine did similar things that ended up getting me misdiagnosed, and of course that was rubbed in my face anytime I put down boundaries or fought back, disagreed, anything he didn't like.
@@CensorshipIsOpression and sometimes you have to discontinue or end your therapy with them because it's useless and frustrating it's best you get 1 on 1 counseling by yourself.. because it's nothing but a game with them and I can't stand my back and watch their stupid little insecure games and waste my valuable time. Time is Precious and these Energy vampires know this too!
And you change your name just now on an account 7 mo old, not personal just saying. Hope you sort your issues and be happy
You can't use comma after a comma then comma, period should end a sentence....
They use what hurts them against others. They hate the silent treatment because it hurts them. They use shame and guilt because that’s what they hate.
It's because they themselves are, hate, guilt, n shame
Can’t give someone something you don’t have and some people have nothing but hurt
@@demitrifearron658 exactly.
I asked my dark empath mother for 3 months of therapy told everyone that she started therapy.
She went 1 time and didn't go back because she doesn't know why I am so mad at her and if I could just call....
Toxic hope = hopium!
You mentioned the lack of Empathy, it is my belief that they don't realize others have real Empathy.
So you teach them
Ive done It
He grew sympathy for me and for others
He switches sometimes from Narc mode to Normal mode but he keeps working on It
Nah... That's just another game they are playing on you!
@@dianecarroll6384 or maybe you lack Empathy as well.
@@jasonforsyth6191I was referring to the comment / reply under yours. Sorry if I offended you. Was not my intention. I was attempting to point out that when she said "so you teach them" and "he goes from narc to normal but he's trying" . I was just trying to tell her to basically quit being taken for a fool. And to be honest with you, I think that shows that I do in fact have empathy! Blessings!
@@jasonforsyth6191 and I happen to agree with your original comment at least to some degree.
Your autonomy, sovereignty, and happiness is the best revenge.
I'm working on that one! 🙌
Hmmmmmm will god allow that 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 or does god enjoy letting them stalk and fraud you
Dont engage, don't engage I've learned to not engage. Instead I've disengaged. Remember not all people you let go of are losses AND Karma never loses any address. Walking away lifted the weight of the world off my shoulders.
This comment right here is everything!!!!!
Walk away! They want your energy
I always said I lost 185 pounds when I extracted myself from my (ex) narcissist husband.
Glad you broke free! I did too! 😊 = no contact is freedom. 🎉
It's sooooo hard because he left me a year ago then 2weeks ago he came back and we were intermite but now has blocked me but lives next door and it really really hurts 😢😢😢😢😢
They are the most exhausting people on the planet. They do not stop wanting attention, and people to fall all over them and follow their lead and make them feel superior. It never ends. It is totally exhausting. That’s why mostly I stay by myself and try to go on with my life, and I have so many different interests to keep myself busy and away from them. I find that that is the only solution among all the chaos that they cause. I try to find peace away from them, and a better quality of life.
Try to be married to one that became a surgeon!!!!
😳... the ego
@@joe7665 ...can't be worse than a lawyer😈
OMG you are so right -being alone is difficult hard at least in doesn't drain you
I was married for 54 years to one who was an egomaniac and wanted to be in the mob. And was a coorrrupt construction worker. Who has the law backing him up!
My narc passed away 2.3 years ago, Thank You God For The Best Blessing Of My Life. I was paying for two cell phone lines on my plan. Every now and then my gut would tell me to check the phone he was using. I'd check the history and that told me everything I needed to know. He went to a local hook up site and when I confronted him he said it was a pop up and he didn't know what it was so he clicked on it. After the first time, you know good and well what the pop ups are so why keep clicking on them, right? I took the phone away from him and suspended the line and told him I wasn't paying for his online entertainment anymore and that was the first time he ever told me, "I hate your fucking guts!" I said back to him, "I know you do, your actions speak louder than words."
Horrible. Some people are just dead inside.
I’m happy for you.
Once they realize they can no longer control you, they will start to trash you to your family and friends
And on Social media, how you have no money, how much you have aged...Blah blah. Let them, truth always rises. x
She would tell her mother everything about me. At first it was a shock and I learned to deal with it. Then her mother started criticizing me for things only my ex knew from me. Right then I knew things went too far so I left the relationship.
If that wasn't bad enough I had to deal with her 7 year old son bullying me with his nasty comments. I started to see the family dynamic was a breed of vipers. That's when I used the staff of GOD to strike the head of the snake, and move on. Jesus gave me the power to leave that relationship until the next snake Slithers around my ankles. Sad world we live in. Born into a war between good and evil and we chose what side we want by the way we live. Its a hard concept to grasp but very true or narcissts wouldn't be around to change our coarse to heaven.
PREACH @@clintonnagy1662
Absolutely, but I've learnt to ignore and stay far from that person.
And your coworkers playing at your jobs like a lil girl with a pacifier who needs severe attention 🤷🏾♀️ nothing is ever that serious to play with people's livelihood especially after you're already stealing from them 🤷🏾♀️ wish their looney ahh the worst & let karma sort it out. It is what it is & idgaf about em
My ex always said I’m too emotionally unstable but yet he’s the one that cause me to be like this.
Of course, they refuse to take accountability.
No one can "make" you be anything. Just food for thought.
Your excuses make you seem like a nark.
No! .. They twist everything skillfully and draw conclusions from themselves about others. These are manipulations to confuse you... that you can manipulate better.
We only notice later... when everything is over (without feelings)... what the narcissist did to you)... otherwise we would be discovered more quickly.
Yep! It's never about their actions, just our reactions. Infuriating!
She even threatened suicide as a way to get my attention... if you block a narcissist do not even read text messages... silence is key. I walked away and took my power back and I am in my energy now.
I was raised in a very narcissistic home, and I can tell you from first hand experience that it is all based on "over-reacting" emotionally to thier tactics. Because the narcissist loves toxic drama!!
Me too, my mother. She has gotten worse & worse. It is so hurtful but I broke away from her for 10 years, best years of my Life
I learned to keep my deepest feelings shut down
Such truth. My mother's picture should be next to narcissist in the dictionary.
"All relationships are transactional." - AMEN
Glad people are starting to realize this. 'Unconditional love' has created a massively toxic cycle that lets people exploit others.
Amen, my friend
Give them absolutely - NO emotions ! They cannot read folks that do this & it leaves them totally on their own - which will result in them showing their true colors. I personally been there, done it & saw it all unfold before my eyes. It’s the most powerful & simplest tool to use
They do pretend to admit wrong for purposes of power, they admit the wrongs they do to trigger you , it is amazing
Yes!!!
My sister is a narc, I loved her but now I'm done with her she always wants to be on spotlight, arrogant, a dictator she is unforgiving, a manipulater I'm so sick of her ,she no longer has a place in my heart I do not want to be used any more
Are we cousins ?😂 you are talking about my sister, a therapist 😂
@@kathy7124 🤣🤣🤣 maybe ,I vowed to myself that I can't give her another chance against me, she has gaslighted several times and l remained calm now she pretends to be nice on texts msgs 🙄as if she cares.... Nothing can make a narc change accept for God ,they are wolves in sheep's clothing,they change colors off.
@@talita88862 Once they realize you are finally done with them they will hoover and love bomb in an effort to bring you back.
@@John-tp5gc noway my dear thanks to the technology, Im equipped ready to protect my inner peace ,mental health is more important than anything else , boundaries, no contact ,they won't change but you have to protect your self and loved ones.
Retaliation? That's sophomoric to me. I just want to stop the pain, be free, and get my life back!
Spot on Christina. 😊 Staying cool as a cucumber and giving the narcisists neither positive nor negative emotions will mean NOT feeding the monsters and that is the goal. Thank you❤
I am getting cukes, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, peppers, some meat and cheese and make myself some delish salads, literally!
😎💯😎
It works.
@@jackilynpyzocha662 I love that 😂
@jackilynpyzocha662 ❤best comment ❤❤❤❤
I ran away ten years ago. I lost everything I had spent my whole life working so hard for. Losing my house and all my belongings was really hard but the hardest part was losing myself. It damages you in so many ways. The guilt i have for the damage it did to my children will never leave me. I have spent the last ten years hiding away from the world because of him. I recently met the man of my dreams. I am not hiding anymore. I am worthy of love. Infact, I always was. I always thought i must be weak and pathetic. He said it so often. But I am actually strong. 💪 it took me ten years of fear to get over the daily abuse. Love has finally set me free! It is incredible being with a kind caring person. 💖✨good luck everyone. You are worthy 💖💖💖
Sounds wonderful but please be careful. If we’ve lived in a narcissistically abusive relationship before we are prone to attracting same thing. It happened to me, second long term relationship was so wonderful (or so I thought) . He seemed so kind and caring. So helpful to everyone. Over time that changed, it was never real, just a covert cover up of his true personality. The things he did during (that I didn’t know) and at the end, I just couldn’t believe it and of course I’d never really known him. Hopefully yours is true and enjoy, but good to keep a level of awareness too. “Too good to be true” is a thing.
I’m awfully glad I’m not a very vengeful person. I just want them to leave me alone. 😅
Use the Block button on phone FB and emails set firm physical no contact boundries ..They will trash you to your friends ..do not respond ..just let them ..the more you react the more in control they are of you !!
@@robertgalea1562Oh my, why didn't I think to do that before?!!! Thank you!
Here I was feeling such guilt for not responding, to this current tx mess. he just sent, after 6mo. since, I've moved on... from the friendship.
He's a nice guy... really! But, I started to recognize some of the traits, (that I needed to learn) from previous mistakes I've made.
After I read your comment, I went to my recent phone list, it had been two weeks. I hadn't responded but, still felt guilty... So, I 🚫 his number! Truly thank you, I feel more peaceful now, I'm far too old to go down that road again, but not tech savvy enough I'm afraid, to utilize all the tools that are available! 😉
God bless you, Robert 😇 you gave me a wonderful gift, and Merry Christmas, Sir. 🌲
Same
Yeah Not Worth My Time..
Yeah. Its a very demonic sickness. When you live with it and others find it hard to believe such evil can be within someone you think you know. Its an ugly miserable existence for the narc and you must feel some gratitude for not having to walk in their shoes. Love and live your life!😊
They “do hate themselves. They just don’t let themselves access that level of feeling that they would need to actually admit that to themselves.” WOW yes. That’s spot on. And when we empaths feel-and point out-what the narcs refuse to feel in themselves… that’s a bumpy ride. 😬
😎💯😎
totally!!!
& if they never tell you “I love you” it’s because “I use you”… is how they really feel..💔
That's very right 💯👍
They aren't capable of loving.
My narc never told me " I love you "...I knew something was indifferent. She made excuses for any withdrawal of emotional content. Smh.
the worst kind of narcissist is the type that provokes others into becoming a narcissist.
then once they have provoked your reaction, they shame you for reacting.
Omg, can that happen?
It’s called reactive abuse. It’s literally textbook 😢
Yep, I looked in the mirror and see myself turning into them... It's not who I am. I left to regain myself and be a better person.😊
@@user-fo2dk5xg6vno it can't. It's called guilt shaming when they overestimate your empathy & expected to not to take up for yourself. Ignore the projection & shine the mirror on them where it belongs
Narcissists love controlling you. All the day to day stuff, yes of course, but specifically controlling your emotions because it allows them to ignore their own. They were taught happiness is control when instead vulnerability is the key.
So who has the vulnerability, the victim or the narcissist?
Yeap the two women that work at the city of cottonwood
I can't they want to take my dog
Narcissists morbidly fear vulnerability more than death itself.
@@caragare3214ah yes the common government "worker", a whole other animal
It’s a tragedy to be born to a narcissist. The biological female I used to call my mother has tormented me all my life. I used to have hope that things would get better until I started learning about malignant narcissism.
The crowning achievement of this despicable woman is to recently announce to my older brother and me that she is cutting us out of her will, and leaving her two million dollar property to her youngest (demonic) child.
Yet she thinks my brother and I shouldn’t feel anything at all about her decision; that we should be genuinely happy about it.
She harasses me with texts saying, “Let’s spend time together in innocence and love,” and other such drivel that makes no sense. I’m pretty sure I will have to block her number, because like all narcissists, she wants to harm me and yet still be in contact with me.
Maybe she wants to check I’m still in pain, so she can feed off it some more. Narcissists are vile and violent.
Oh goodness. Sorry to hear this. Be safe, wishing you wholeness soon.
I feel this. I cut contact with narc mother & entire family almost a year ago. Narc mother had the audacity to call my ex husband (divorced over 20 years ago) to see if my son & I are still alive…& then she proceeded to tell him that I’ve been taken out of their will. Typical narc behavior. I didn’t want a penny from them either way. That’s blood money imo & I refuse to sell my soul for their money. I wish you the very best in dealing with all of this 💜
HOw awful!
@@gem7078
She AlReady Cut you Out
GO NO CONTACT
These Demonic People CanNot Be Helped In Any Way
The Sooner you Are Completely Free The Sooner you Will Feel A Hapiness you Have Not Known
Peace To you 🙏
@@gem7078 thanks for your kind wishes. I wish you the very best too. It’s a tragedy to have a narcissist instead of a mother.
When one of her closest friends died in a car accident, she said something like "such pity, he was so useful." in a completely cold tone, like one of her favorite cups broke, but it's no big deal because she can just order another one from Ikea. I'll never forget that moment, it still evokes feeling of terror and dismay, to know that someone operates on this level. Luckily I was quick to escape that relationship not long after that event.
Yes, like Kathy Lee Gifford THREW A PARTY when her husband died! He'd had an affair with a flight attendant, 20 years earlier, and she NEVER forgave him. ("THEY" never do!) She figured if she left him, some other woman would marry him, and get all he had in the end. So she stayed with him and ALWAYS said the most insulting things about him, publicly. She took an apartment in town...NYC...to stay away from him as much as possible, and even had the nerve to ask for her segment on the Today Show moved to California...so she "could be close to where my son goes to college"...not caring if the entire CREW would have to move there too, or fly home to NYC every weekend, to be with their families! (You can bet her son WAS in California to get as far away from her as possible!) Her husband "dropped dead" and in 24 hours he had been cremated...no doctor exam...no autopsy...JUST DONE AWAY WITH! Then, the witch THROWS A PARTY!...to "celebrate life"...yeah...HERS! It was because her husband WAS Frank Gifford, that she even married him in the first place, and WHY she even became known! But..."THEY"...never forgive...and "THEY" WILL GET WHAT IS THEIRS! On one Today Show, they had cleaned up all the offices of the people who worked there. But Kathy Lee's office needed no clean-up. When Kathy and Hoda were talking about how neat all the offices were made...Hoda made the comment to Kathy, about how clean her office was, saying..."YOU ALWAYS GET RID OF THE THINGS YOU DON'T WANT!"...and there was this, very evil look, Kathy looked at Hoda with. She KNEW exactly WHAT Hoda was referring to...how quickly Frank had been DONE AWAY WITH! Hoda said she called Kathy when she heard about Frank, and Kathy told her not to come see her. But she did anyway. Hoda was bawling her head off, while that cold fish Kathy had nary a tear. Then a few days later...SHE THROWS PARTY! WHO DOES THAT?? ONLY A NARC! The way it all went down, Hoda KNEW what happened to Frank. I wonder how much the doctors, the coroner and the cops got. This isn't the first time this type of thing happens with the "jet set"...$$$$ can buy your freedom! But everyone is innocent until proven guilty, so this is just one person's opinion...and everyone has one, and everyone IS entitled to that.
I had to WATCH EVERY SINGLE WORD I Said to The Covert Narc. Talk about walking on eggshells...Sick! SICK SICK.
me too.....even when I said nothing he would find something to criticize me for.....It has been a hellish 3 years,,,but when he wanted to be nice he was so nice.....and the sex was amazing most of the time......
Expecting me to be super grateful for doing the bare minimum is definitely right. I remember the ultimate way she tried to guilt me for not appreciating the breadcrumbs she would throw at me. I having a mental breakdown crying due to her just shutting me out for the last several weeks. She just sits on the couch looking at her phone and occasionally giving me the narcissistic stare. Not long after, she comes to me and says “I make you coffee every day to show that I love you”
I live with a covert narcissist, I don't get physically tired, but I do get mentally tired.
It's aa demon... and THEY never tire!
43 yrs of marriage with him but I feel much better to walk away and I am doing much better
I get lost in rabbit holes on this topic quite frequently. I can honestly say I have never heard someone speak so clearly & logically about understanding narc behavior than explain it all in a super easy to understand & relate kind of way. Thank you!!
Also, thank you for getting right to the content immediately.
Absolute RUclips GOLD!!! 😁
😎💯😎
💯💯💯
Yes, I agree ... right on point😮
the narcissist breaks off first, so true.
To your first point, willingness to self destruct as long as they take you down too….if they tell a lie in an attempt to Hoover you back into their crazy world, they would choose to die rather than to admit that they lied. Crazy, right? Fair minded people can simply not wrap their heads around that, and it will make you crazy trying to figure them out.
Walk away and don’t look back!
Narcissists don’t say things they feel. If they see your not up to speed, they’ll use it against you.
my mother manipulated me and my life this way. I noticed that she used tactics that worked on me as a child, this was starting to get ridiculous in my adult life, (i.e. manipulation by humiliation and inducing a sense of shame). It's terrible because you realize that they are monsters, they destroy your energy terribly. It's true that they feed on emotions, I noticed that my narcissistic mother loved to watch TV programs showing people suffering, at that time I didn't understand where it came from, but I knew there was something wrong with her, it disgusted me. The problem started when I saw a strange smile on her face when I was suffering, or when she made me suffer. I realized that this woman was sick and I had to cut myself off permanently, which was a tragedy for me, because she was my mother.
It is painful. I am grieving what I once believed to be possible. You have been given love on their terms that wasn't love at all.
I am sorry that you have to experience that, my heart goes out to you.
My generic mother was horribly neglectful in every way. Saved at 9 yo, my real father was outstanding, but my step mother was a bit narcissistic. Eventually I gave up any contact with her at all. My first real relationship was 6 years with a narcissist girlfriend. I think I learned in a twisted way, that this was how love worked. Lies, manipulation, cruelty and abuse all for a sense of control ... Somehow became green signs to me instead of "run like hell" signs
Wow I so relate to this a little. My mom would get this smirk on her face when I would get hurt, or fail, or she had even bought something for herself that was more my style than hers… on and on. So done with it. I finally cut her off this year at my age of 45! They are sick.
Yes! This is a narcissism. You know the topic.
(Sometimes I read comments which make me doubt people are speaking about narcissists. F.ex. "my ex told I am overemotional, but thats he who made me be that way" - well no evidence from such comment your ex was a narcissist)
My mother is a Covert narcissist - the Mother Theresa type. and she loves murder serials.
all the details You ae speaking of I also noticed with my mother. a year ago went no contact. I should have done it at 18. but I at least did it at 45.
"Its the narcissist that always checks out first"
My ex was a friend of 25 years, met in our early teens. When we "romantically" reconnected in our late thirties, I never anticipated what he was going to put me through. He'd come in as a "hero" and good friend when my dad passed away. Over the next few years..
I watched a grown man throw tantrums, tell obvious lies and grandiose stories, mirrored me, future faked, manipulated, gaslit and lied to my face. I was deeply trauma-bonded and knew his childhood trauma and went back for a number of cycles.
He was exposed in May '21 juggling me with a woman he'd told me was just a friend and he'd never date because she was 12 years younger with two kids. Talked a lot of trash about her. When I found out he'd been juggling, I cut ties. Over the next year, he reached out a few times but I didn't bite. I reached out on his birthday in May '22 and found out he had a then four month old son with her. Unplanned, he knew her for three months. (I found out much later there was a third woman he'd told me he'd split with almost a year before). She took her son and her kids and moved out of state. He told me everything he'd been through made him see how he hadn't valued me like he should have, started dropping the "love" word and said he wanted a family with me. I saw what a trap that was. A month after saying this to me, he cut me off completely when I asked him to stop doing something that was confusing me (sending deep love songs and then saying it wasn't how he felt, it was just a "pretty song". This man listens to heavy metal). He told me he didn't need another headache from a woman and.. that was it. That was over a year ago, never another word. He knows I have abandonment issues and he'd ghost to punish me. I thank God, spirit, the All that he discarded me like yesterday's garbage. No more confusion, no more energy vampirism (I won't even get started on that, I was very spiritually sick), and no more time or energy wasted feeding a bottomless pit.
There is a block button on your phone and face book and emails ..use them ..
I feel like reading my own story
@@nature9872 It's crazy how many people can relate with similar experiences
Wow. Parallel universe experience here. I feel like you wrote it all out for me! God bless you. Keep commenting and inspiring others, warrior! Much love ❤️
I wish you would talk about physical abuse when they are in their rage.
If only I had found you sooner and learned all this after I was discarded by (who I thought was) the love of my life, I could have saved myself 21 YEARS of isolation, devastating loneliness and depression. He broke my heart, spirit, faith in relationships and trust in men. Thank you so, so much.
I feel for you❤ I've been married to a LIE for 12 years,he brutally discarded me back in May.
Similar experience 23 years 2 years plus healing. Love on your healing journey
I had a few years. I can't imagine decades with one 😢😢
Exactly wish I knew all this 20 years ago.
23 years and his affair with a married woman 30 years younger brought obvious behaviors...lies, disrespect, cruel discard...5 years no contact but still ruminate coz I was so blindsided and had so much faith in his love for me. Don't want him..just angry coz i never got to say anything...at all....Rage, hate, blame and denial. Hang tough, you and me and ALL OF US deserve better. God bless your guys. It's hard but it will get better. Believe in you, work on you!
It doesn't matter if they work on themselves. They NEVER change permanently and always goes back to original behavior. They cannot be cured no matter what anyone says. I have had some self admitted narcissists say they use to be a narcissist. What do you mean "use to be"?? Once a narcissist always a narcissist.
Yes but some do change by staying in therapy. Lee from Mental Healness is changed.
@@LethalWeapon73 Yes I think if in long term therapy but it the therapy stops they will go right back. From everything I've read it's NOT curable. This is their personality. You can't change that. They always need to stay in therapy.
@@LethalWeapon73 Right but that's my point. Therapy must be forever and most will not do that so the behavior will return
@@skibunny2257 You are correct. They can never change, nor really feel they need to change. It says in the Bible..."Can a leopard change its spots?" Jer 13:23 They simply have no empathy. They KNOW how one is supposed to act in any given situation...they are great actors...but they simply do not have the true feelings that belong to any given situation. One man wrote that he is a narcissist and he's proud to be one! He said why should he have to have all those "messy emotions to deal with" when he can come and go as he pleases. If he hurts anyone, well, that's their problem to deal with, thank you! Narcissist say they do not "feel" the emotions other people display, so they act as if they do...do what they know is expected, all the while being an empty shell with no responsibilities for the damage they create. Being "nice" to them is a joke to them and adds up to them having control over someone. They do not have any guilt feelings because they do not have any normal human feelings. Actually, I believe they are possessed by a demon and THAT is WHY they cannot be "cured". As an example of demon possession of narcissists, I was the assistant manager at our court house. I had over 150 regular customers, people who were employed at the courthouse. I treated every one of my customers like gold. But I had one customer, a legal secretary, who had this very snotty attitude toward me. I simply ignored it and always treated her with the same courtesy as all my other customers. One morning she came to the snack bar with an even more sour expression on her face than usual. I asked her if she was okay and she told me she had a headache she couldn't get rid of. I told her I did reflexology and I could get rid of her headache for her. (I always had customers asking me to do some reflexology for a headache or other symptom.) I came around the counter, took her right hand in my hand and lightly held it, as I explained how reflexology could get rid of her headache, by pressing on a particular spot on her hand, which would send an electrical impulse to her headache to get rid of it, something like acupressure, except without needles! As I lightly held her hand, and had not yet done the reflex, I glanced over at her and noticed her eyelids were fluttering very fast. I asked her if she was okay, and she said, "I feel strange."...and with that, she shot over two feet off the floor...straight up in the air, something humanly impossible!...and slammed down hard on her back on the tile floor! She immediately went into horrible convulsions, slamming the back her head over and over on the floor, while her arms and legs were jerking insanely! Her eyes had rolled back in her head too, and I inwardly was freaking out! About 7 or 8 other customers rushed over to help hold her down and it was like trying to hold a tiger! This went on for several minutes, when she suddenly stopped moving, and looked up at us, with an expression as if to say, "What am I doing on the floor?" We all helped her up and put her in a chair. She was very flushed so I ran to get a cold towel to put on the back of her neck. We told her she had just had a convulsion, and she should see her doctor very soon, to which she replied, "I've NEVER had a convulsion in my life!" And she got up and stomped out of the snack bar! The next morning, she came back to the snack bar... wearing something I'd NEVER seen...a SMILE! I asked her how she felt and she said she never felt better! I asked if she had any bumps on her head and she said there were none! And from that day forward, that lady became one of my nicest, warmest, most friendly customers I had, for the next year I worked there! This lady had been possessed by a demon! When demons come out, they throw the person around, sometimes they vomit (I had one of those before!) and it seems they are doing terrible harm to their victim! But the formerly possessed person never has any adverse effects and is, from then on, a new and healed individual! So, this is WHY narcissists cannot be "healed"...they must have their devil cast out...period! If you have a narcissist in your life, understand that you are dealing with an EVIL SPIRIT and unless it's CAST OUT...they will...can never...change! The demon lives in their victim, enjoying itself, hurting everyone around them, and using that person's body to do what they love to do...hurt, destroy and cause as much pain as possible, whenever possible, be it overtly, or covertly! For Big TRUTH! kristi
And those are traits. Not full blown NPD.
😮I resonate with this one…they will hold grudges even when you didn’t know what you did wrong…long story short I was sick for a whole week couldn’t go to work and my husband at the time was not working and I was the sole bread winner and everyday he would get up and left the house for the whole day when he could spend the time with me. After some time I asked what was that about? He said because the last time he was sick I didn’t give him the attention he deserved 😮 after two years together I kicked him out of the house cut all contacts. Narcs have zero empathy 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿 for this informative video
I have been living with a covert narc mom for 44 years - without being aware of that. She did not recognize when I was sexually abused at the age of 8 by a stranger at a lake. She also did not recognize, that I was autistic. She was NEVER emotionally nurturing - but always draining. I will finally move out now at the age of 44 after many decades of exhausting parentification.
Rough story man. I wish you well, stay strong.
44?
Seriously?
Are you disabled?
For 10 years I put up with all the changing goalpost, ultimatums, and I always did what she asked. She triangulated my family, cut me off from friends, and by the time she left I had no one. My only sin, the first time in 10 years I said I wasn’t happy either during one of her rants, she love bombed me for 6 months before leaving me for new supply. I filed for divorce 2 weeks into the discard, skipped triangulation, and before she knew what happened I had the house, 50/50 kids, no child support, no alimony, and she’s stuck with the nearest low hanging fruit she could find.
Revenge makes you into them
You cant walk away when there is the threat of never seeing your kids again.
Agree, you have to be well educated of how narcissistic people operate and get a real understanding of the one you are dealing with, whilst protecting yourself from their dramas, games, triangulations and manipulations. It’s taking me years to get a good relationship with one of my children who believed (and still does) every word the narcissist says , even though it has affected my now adult child badly in terms of his own decisions.
Crazy how accurate this was omg I didn't realize until she had the mask slip off and breakup with me for pointing out her tendencies and immediately saying "your yesterday's trash"
They are extreme hypocrites. They will talk about what somebody else is doing, and they are doing the same thing.
👏👏👏👏
They just want attention
I was with someone for almost 8 years that was a narc. She ended up having a secret gambling addiction on top of being an alcoholic. Once she was close to being found out about her financial sabotage to our lives she faked a suicide attempt to get sympathy and try and hold on to the relationship. It backfired. I made sure that her family was going to get her the help she needed and I went zero contact and relocated across the country to make a fresh start. I am much happier now and mentally healthy again and not subject to daily abuse. I am not in a hurry at all to date and I am working on being a better person and making goals for myself again. I really want to rub it in that I am happy now and in a city I love (I hated where I moved from), but it would invite her back into my life and open myself up to her manipulation again. No thanks.
Agreed, in fact I've found walking away gets easier. I quit a job after a week after realizing the narcistic traits of 1 manager. After telling the other manager at the end of my shift I was quitting. He made an attempt to tell me I was taking her behavior the wrong way.
I have had to walk away from both parents, extended family and even "friends". You are right! It does get easier.
There is always that one person who will treat you like dirt, they obviously seen you as a threat, maybe jealous of you, you had smarter clothes on than them. I see it and receive it very often,
After working in an office for 11 years, I finally started learning what I was dealing with. Narcissism. Boss, coworker, and the boss's family flying monkeys. Kudos to you for quitting right away. Wished I'd known about narcissists sooner.
Im an open book. I have no secrets. The true truth will prevail and true love will rule.
I confronted my narc sister on her rudeness to me , her hostility towards me, and her deceptions. she accused ME of projecting. So she was projecting projecting??? It boggles the mind. After going no contact I discovered so many lies and some of them very serious in nature. Breaks my heart.
Narcs always tells on themselves, it's up to you, to pay attention.
came to pick her up after her shift and felt all the colleagues eyes judging me... really horrible energy
My ex asked me, "Did you ever love me?" Now I know why he asked that question!
Same here?!
Oh, I tried the whole "avoid emotional reactions" thing. My narcissist noticed, and accused me of being abusive. For what? Being a nice kind helpful person that just isn't showing emotional reactions to her ridiculous stories any more. Crazy. She actually said the whole "You need to make me feel X" thing - you know, that thing that the psychologists repeatedly say is an unhealthy attitude. No lady, I can be kind and helpful, but I can't make you feel anything in particular on demand - that bit is your arena.
No lady 😂😂
At the end of my 27 year marriage my narc ex-husband would yell at me that I knew just how to push his buttons, which I did not understand because I didn’t know what buttons he was talking about. He also would admit that he projected, but I was somehow responsible for that, (I knew I wasn’t). You completely explained my ex. Thank you!!
They may not, truthfully, know themselves, though they actively attempt to get you to not know yourselves.
Ding ding ding
You got the projection part almost perfectly : ) You left it there clear for everyone to see. Not many recognize this, but I guess because it takes an extremely disagreeable empath, to read this and understand it clearly for what it is.
What is actually happening in those situations is just them telling you how they're truly feeling about themselves, that's their subconscious exposing them to everyone, ironically, except to them. Their projection is just an extreme form of their lack of accountability. Especially when their accusation sounds like nonsense. When they throw some accusation that no human with a functioning brain can see that these can not apply to you. Even the practically impossible, they will sound so silly saying them. Sometimes they'd even say that the same thing that you are accusing them of doing (projection) was in fact is committed by you : ) It takes you back to your toddler years and having silly arguments early in school with other children. They will exhaust you one way or another, even sounding like a complete lunatic is fine as long as they don't admit to a mistake.
We have an Arabic maxim that describes this devious strategy perfectly.
ضربني وبكى سبقني واشتكى
They hit me and cried, and ran claiming I hit them.
No one performs this strategy as maliciously as they do, and to be honest, no one does it as well as them. They can fool the majority of people because they do it so well, and they're bullies too, so people try to avoid any problems with them and either consciously or unconsciously side with them to avoid their wrath. That's what flying monkeys do.
The list of narcissists that, unfortunately, I dealt with and brought me a lot of destruction: a chronic cheater who did everything to hide it (gaslighting, triangulation, smear campaign, etc), the psychopathic bosses who enjoyed abusing and bullying people they did not like or they felt threatened by, the scorned, rejected co-workers, the frenemies (insecure females) who launched smear campaigns through vicious gossip to get rid of potential competition (mean girls on steroids), family members who cannot accept you doing better than them. The world is full of narcissists, unfortunately, and empaths are their primary target.😢
Nobody gives a fuck 🤷🏾♀️ so called "mean girls" are more worried than "empaths" 🤷🏾♀️ what's the talk still about? Take ya weird ahh behavior & get ya jealous ahh on lil girl tf you still here for watching me like a scary reject? Stop exposing your weaknesses & walk away with some form of dignity. You're losing your mind & nee to talk to God not me. I said what I said tf on from my life
I left him, divorce has been filed and of course he called for days yelling how could I leave? How could I take all his dreams of us away!
This man turned my brother away from me after loosing both my parents to Covid within 12 hours of each other. Almost had my daughters thinking something was wrong me while I was suffering from PTSD from loosing my parents who were great parents, grandparents, great grandparents and serve nearly 40 years as military soldiers (Master sergeant).
Turned my son in law against me!
I thought I was going crazy and confused all the time!
My family and I are at peace now after figuring out all the games n lies he played on them and myself.
Hurts so bad. Dared 2yrs no problem and then he turned different after we married and had me isolated with him almost all the time. My eldest daughter is the one who started to figure him out and started pointing things out to me to help me realize I was going crazy cuz of the mind games he was playing on me. I really thought I was mentally going crazy!
I Thank god daily for having 3 daughters that love n care what happens to me. They are my support system of encouragement! I’ve missed my grandchildren so much and now back to spending time with them again that I missed being around.
I also get help from my therapist and she point out all the gaslighting he was doing to make me feel like I was not mentally stable.
So happy you left, sorry for everything you’ve been through.
Extremely nuts, and lots of projection. You said everything that I go through with my husband. 😢 Omg.
I was never the type of person who thought my revenge was from walking away. I'd have loved to have done a lot of things to him. One thought I did have was sticking his photo around saying that he was wanted for murder - I didn't, I settled for hacking into his account and then finding out where he targeted his woman and he was a member of every chat site possible. I remember looking at a message saying "hello, your fit, can I have your number?" I think that just told me a lot and I ended up leaving it - it just opened my eyes to the sort of person he was and I didn't want to be around him - and, I may add, battling a trauma bond out
Thank you! I was tormented by my narcissistic daughter! I do no contact! Hard but I did it! Thank you! ❤️
That's kind of funny if you know how narcissists are created and it's usually prior to the age of 5.
Sure YOU aren’t the narc?
@@aWomanFreedseriously???
I'm afraid of this. My girls are 3 and 10, separate narc dads that actually have began to pin my oldest against me. They work together. They actually kept the girls from me fkr Halloween to all go out together. I haven't seen my oldest since October 28th, my one year sober from alcohol, day after I turned 38. Oh. And her father is a registered sex offender, he became one when she was 2. CPS handed her to him while I got sober and out of the toxic relationship with my youngests dad. I did everything I was supposed to. Didn't matter. They had attorneys to request my case be closed and the magistrate agreed. They don't follow the orders they left us with. No Judge to monitor or help with decision-making or hold any of us accountable, really.
Go to a guardian ad litem office.
Speak with one. They are a government agency now.
No longer a program.
They can petition a judge and open a new case.
I saw through her after 3 month when she did her first discard attempt (attempt because i immediatelly showed her iam willing to walk and she came back crying within days)
After taking her back, i approached the relationship in "getting out of it what is good" which was the good sex. So i defended myself harder, kept an emotional distance. Worked out another 4 month, but the good times were less and less, the devalue attempts and fights got worse.
I could clearly see a trend in the wrong direction. Despite objectivly knowing all this, it was insanely hard to break the traumabond after just 7 month. The only way to keep NC in the first days was trust in myself that in 1 week i will feel different. And it turned out to be like that but it was hard. After 10 days NC i see a clearer picture. The sex was basicly the only good time between us, therefore it felt special.
Props to those people who break free after years. My gut started to hurt after just 7 month. No clue how ppl stay years with such people.
I deliberately took her back. To learn. In hindsight quite risky, but iam grateful. I saw narc traits in realtime, learned to enforce and defend my boundaries. I learned the flaws of beeing too empathic and so much more.
A high price to pay for SEX
Thanks for Shining Your Experience. ... I'm 10 Months in this Relationship. ... Agree with Everything. ... Great Sex, fighting Worsening & it Hard to Break Lose. ... Sound Like You Broke Lose?
It's "months" if there's more than one month.
@@tonyespinoza4738
Went back one more time. But didnt commit fully. Only took her 4 days to show me her true face again.
Actually i never regreted taking her back alltogether 3 times. Everytime i got more objective about the situation, with less emotions involved and it felt like iam stepping out step by step which felt easier for me personally.
But it might not be the recipe for everybody. Found out mine is also rather BPD than narcissist. So essentially a little less evil intentions, but compareable in their behaviour.
Afterall you have to judge/treat them by their actions, not their words. They will twist reality in ways beyons imagination if they want to.
For me personally i simple assest that their behaviour is too toxic for me to plan long term.
But the ending is never easy.. i know
I did the same thing. I was raised to never cater to woman and at a young age have always been very good with woman. I saw the red flags with my ex but I knew emotionally I was way stronger than her evil games so I took her back after I walked away for 2 months. During that time I had a so much fun going out meeting people and after 2 months she came back begging with a inferior motive to "try" to destroy me. I took it personal so before I left her again and for good this time I messed her up mentally, physically and emotionally. I had dated narcissistic woman mostly my whole life before I even knew what that was but luckily I'm one of the very few that can date a narcissist and come out with no damage. I think I'm a bigger narc so when a narcissist comes Into my life thinking I'm the next victim their the ones that leave devastated 😂
My own older sister is a terrible narcissist. But she recently admirted to me that, after the death of beloved family members, she would wait in a separate room while everyone else as sharing loving stories about the deceased. In the meantime, she was plotting to smuggle out precious items that she knew we all wanted! And she did! She actually got away with that.
I could never get a goal out of him. He was, always, going on about everything being so horrible. I have said it was exhausting!! Gonna watch the video. Ty great video.
When the narcissist can't control you they get out of control. All hell break lose .
They need to control themselves & stop showing their mental illness. It's really embarrassing to witness & they feel superior being weird because it's "evil" no it's cowardly & soft AF. Who would be afraid of their scary ahh with nothing better to do with their miserable ahh lives. If they were the evil threat they fantasize about then they wouldn't have targets they don't even know & stalk electronically because their goofy ahh would be in the real world ✌🏽 not taking these LAMES seriously. I'm from the show me state & calling their bluff. All their moves are COWARDLY & INDIRECT. Get a life & grow TF up
I have no enough words to express how thankful I am to you 🙏🙏🙏
I feel like this video recited my whole relationship. Thank you for this video.
The saddest part is the Narcissist is my daughter! She’s treated me like DIRT since the age of 12! The problem is my husband & I gave her Everything!!! BIG MISTAKE!!! Not only that she slapped my face when we didn’t get her a car so my husband just gave it to her which made him more ANGRY! She STOLE EVERYTHING from me eg mileage plus miles, expensive jewelry, wedding ring Diamond, clothes whatever she wants!!! She has NO boundaries, NO anything & to top that off she’s an alcoholic!!!!!! I used to be hurt for many years which is sad since she won’t let me see the grandchildren which is only hurting the kids! Now it’s too late since the kids are getting older!!! Finally, it doesn’t matter to me anymore because when I’m around her she’s exhausting & the last time I saw her before her moving she pushed me so hard across the room the next morning I was black & blue all over my body! We gave her an excellent education & now she thinks she’s the smartest person in the world!!!!!! There’s no modesty or caring about other people & she has no empathy or anything positive about her actions! It’s a LIVING HELL!!!!!! But I’m DONE! You can’t make a Narcissist be good, happy or anything positive!!! She spends her life complaining & feels sorry for herself!!!
Not many talk about narcissism when it's your child. i've got the same with my son. it's hardest to walk away or make them leave.
I think narcissism comes from childhood trauma, so your treatment as a parent probably has played a large role in making them that way.
I think as a parent you have a responsibility to try and be supportive of your child even if you think they are a narcissist.
@@spaceowl5957 Have you lived with a child like this? Mine was adopted. Until then, please be so kind as to withhold judgment.
Wow, sorry to hear that, she sounds like MEEEghan Markle
@@yourfranchiseoptions Agreed; however, taking away discliple in the household has created a whole bunch of monsters who have no concept of 'NO'. I blame my generation on this issue. Parenting has failed and now everything is being replaced by social media allowing children to think that their value/self worth is based on what other click, like or follow. Sad really. Parents allow technology to raise their kids, instead of themselves raising them.
The truth?! I'm the narcissist, listening to the things you say remind me not to hurt people or myself!!! Yes, I know Truth! The first step toward recovery!
“destroy their own business just to get you.” This. Imagine being business partners and having children with one of these amazingly introspective individuals (that’s sarcasm).
Oh my goodness... every word of this hits home for me!
Thx, Christina! So helpful once again. Two weeks post breakup and I’m doing better every day! Yes, very reactive and I’d say emotionally unregulated master projectors and false blame and shame projection. Wow wow my eyes are wide open thx to you.
This is the best commentary I have read on this subject using words and ideas I can understand. the others either seem to have a personal grudge to bear or just to show how clever they are by using big word jargon and only colleagues will understand. i am following avidly!
Seeing emotions and expressing emotions is not an issue, trying to manipulate them is the issue.
Yes, dangerous but also fragile and vulnerable - as all low vibration is. Always remember, your integrity and courage (together) is your super power.
Thank you for your work. I especially appreciate your emphasis on covert narcissism, since that’s my experience of my mother and a guy I broke up with a few months ago.
This is one of the most succinct and clear explanations I have ever seen. Hopefully you will get the message out to as many people as possible.
This validated so many of the experiences I’ve had.. I’m blown away by the accuracy.
Never willing to work on their selves. Yes
They don't have a "self"...their "self" is a demon, and I mean that literally!
@@kristilindley7849 truth!
You know your stuff.
I was so busy trying to "please" that I completely lost everything.
My family left. Kids and all.
I WAS BLAMED FOR EVERYTHING BECAUSE HE WAS FEEDING THEM LIES. I had no clue.
I caught him cheating. ALOT
Then he tried to BLAME ME.
The mind games don't work.
It's only been since August, after 19 yrs, but, I AM MORE THAN READY.
He tried and tried to "pull me under" today. I didn't have to pretend I didn't care.
I DON'T
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
No. Most of my family still believes him. When I showed them all I went thru, my daughter said I deserved it.
Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't.
No. I didn't. I know that now
This list was so clearly done. So clearly true and centering for me.
There's so much accuracy in this video. I'd never dealt with a narc before my ex and I saw all of these things you mentioned in that situation.
Everything you said a narcissist did to me and the secrets make 100% sense. Thanks a lot for sharing
Oh yes.... it's the over reaction to zero. Mine is a 67 year old toddler. I got groceries the other day....he had washed down the counter tops and it was soaked,then started to place shopping on top. I said hang on the counter needs wiping dry first.....oh he tantrumed..... don't thank me for tidying up! Then stormed off to his man cave all day. This morning I wrapped a gift to post and discovered all the brown paper had gone....so he got an even bigger box and i said I don't need a bigger box....wow off he storms! Im quietly spoken.... but this is insane behaviour for a grown up.Im rather tired of walking on eggshells. 😢
That's how they do it ! Do something then want credit even though they on purpose did it 1/2 rite ....mine always does that ! Make a fight so he can play victim. Yet it's obvious after 27 yrs
You are spot on. Thank you! I dont think one I knew would even try to come back. I out smarted the one I knew.
This particular narrative most definitely reaches the “high water mark” revealing the downward spiral of “narcissistic “means and methods” BRAVO 🎉 ( recommend listening to this as many times as necessary)
Rage 🤬 Rageful Raging 🤬Ranged 🤬
Hold them to account
Adults in Adult Bodies
4 year old Accountability
🦅🏆😎
Even non-Narcissist do all that you said. But Narcissist has this evil in them.
I wasn’t sure if my husband was really a narcissist but this video shows be that he is. Thanks so much.