I jokingly told one of my closest male friends that if we get to 30 and we’re not married that we would have a child and co-parent together. Four months later we started dating organically. It’s been three years and we’re getting married early next year 😂❤
Hell no! The wife definitely used him since the beginning of the relationship. She had been distant with him not allowing intimacy in the relationship every single time she rejected his affection, she made the decision to act that way every single time, which proves she always knew she wasn't attracted to him but still let him on, While one can be empathetic with her situation that doesn't justify how selfish she was and it's disgusting how someone can drag someone in their non resolved issues and hurt them. She is the one who failed the relationship since day 1 because she was never attracted to him.
I wouldn't consider it full blown "using". It's really hard to grow up in an extremely religious family suffering under abusive parents. Her family basically forced her into "conversion therapy" by beating her once they found out she was gay and pushing for her to marry him. Her family and church hold a lot of blame here. She has needed therapy all these years, but I think she doesn't want to be called out on her behavior. It was wrong of her to be in a relationship with someone she didn't feel romantic love for...but their marriage is not the first fake hetero marriage. She should've just been honest about it, because he noticed and knew. She should acknowledge that she hurt him and was selfish.
I grew up with a similar toxic religious family situation as the first OPs wife. I pretended to have "crushes" on boys to avoid people being suspicious, and it was awful everyday feeling that i could never simply be honest with myself in that way. HOWEVER. Being hurt doesn't mean that hurting other people suddenly becomes okay and excusable. OP deserves happiness and shouldnt sacrifice himself to further empathize with someone who clearly didn't consider his own feelings even once. I hope he's able to find a genuine sense of joy, and that his ex figures her own life out without using people who care about her.
She used him as a life vest to get out of her probably insanely abusive home. Sucks for him, but she’s not wrong for doing what she had to in order to survive.
@@twideslauriers7875she is though. stealing years of someone’s life and pretending to love them is not and never will be okay in any situation. I understand why she did it, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay whatsoever.
I'm convinced she's been long distance cheating the whole time. He just found out about the "bff" existing BUT the BFF said she didn't want to attend the wedding.
I haven't made a promise but my mom has. She told her closest male friend that if they both were still single by 30 they would get married. Her 30th birthday rolled around and she was like "Yo, I'm not married and your not married. You know the deal." But he was like "Welllll about that.. I'm actually gay." So yeah.💀
I think OP deserves to find a relationship where the love is real. They deserve just as much. I'm so glad he didn't give in to continue a loveless marriage, and it's so cruel that he saw comments that ppl said he should. Your never to old for love and I hope OP doesn't let his (ex)wife stop him from finding his true love, or at least experiencing love.
OP deserves a gold star. Being in a loveless marriage is cruel. Especially as she didn't see a problem with it. She shouldn't be allowed his stuff from before marriage, as SHE never saw it as a marriage, but a 'get out of family problems'. If she has chosen to have a job, then she probably wouldn't have had to move home either. She made her own bed, and chose to still have contact with her toxic parents. She could have chosen a life of honesty and gotten help so many times. Seems like OP really tried, and some day he will make a woman truly happy.
@@alexiatr I know one should never contribute to malice, what can be contributed to stupidity. However, OP was right when he said he was no more than a dog in her eyes.
yall are so homophobic my god. it is not that easy to leave abusers especially in the deep south. hate crimes still happen. it sucks for him but she did what she had to in order to survive
@@twideslauriers7875 Hiding cruelty behind sexuality is not an excuse. I'm bi myself. Should he just accept being used as a shield because he is a man? Does he not deserve love? As he said, had she just been upfront about it all earlier, then he would have helped her. But this has been years. She even wanted to baby trap him!
My heart hurt for the guy like how do you tell someone repeatedly you do not love him like I heard you the first time. Why would I have a baby with you she was crazy.
the wife still pisses me off tho. yes when ur a child she had no choice but once she was an adult she cant use the "my family made me" card. She cant blame her family forever for her choices especially once she was no longer living with them. Plus the fact she went as far as to marry op is even more fucked up since she waisted both his and her life for no reason. they both could've been happily married but she choose to be complacent in her shitty life and she dragged/hurt someone along with her. EDIT: BRO THATS EVEN WORSE. in the final update not only did she lie to him, SHE insisted on marriage AND she was freeloading?!?! bruhhhhhh thank god her ex moved on from her cuz that level of toxicity is insane, bro was speed runnin into misery
To be fair to the wife, depending on where they are in the world, it’s a very real possibility that her family will try to end her if they find out the reason for the divorce. OP was very kind and stand-up in the way he handled things. I hope they both can find happiness and safety. Edit after last update: I have much less sympathy for the ex-wife after all that. Still rooting for OP
Shes only thinking about herself. And its selfish to not let him go out and find the love he needs and wants/wanted from her. Only thinking about the comfort of her life. Not his comfort or feelings. Just sad. I feel really bad for OP and she doesn't deserve anything in the divorce. Its not hers. And she did in a sense use him ,when she knew she wasn't in love with in in that way but selfishly never chose to tell him those thoughts or feelings. 🤷🏼♀️
I uh. Well. My family has a long history of depression and various other mental health issues so occasionally one of us staring into space like we’re dead inside is normal for us so the bit Sam and John did made me laugh a little too hard.
Nothing against those that have children and then go through divorce, but sometimes I think that it’s for the best when there aren’t children involved. I was with my Ex for 18 years and the divorce wasn’t very messy, but I’m very grateful that we didn’t have children. I’m glad that the split was able to be clean. He even walked away from our dogs (don’t know how he could, but I’m very grateful that he did). Divorce is never easy, but when you can make it as clean as possible, it is easier for all involved.
That story is so heartbreaking. Being used as a beard unknowingly is bad enough, but for her not to even care about the damage inflicted on him emotionally is horrible. "I've never loved you, but why should that matter?" That's disgusting.
If I was gay, I 100% would have sought to marry my best friend. She is an amazing woman, wifey without question!! And of all the people I've seen, she is hands-down one of the most beautiful. I'm not gay and intimacy within a marriage matters. Aside, intimacy complicates relationships otherwise, I would never be OK in a NMR. Know thyself, don't judge. She isn't gay but she did bring it up several times. I've been married 7 years and she's getting married (to a man) next year!! We're both in our early-mid 40's for whatever that's worth...it seems "kids" date differently these days. Or I'm just a prude 🤷🏻♀️ I guess both are true 😂
OP handled his situation in a very good way. It's time for him to think of self and he deserves to be happy. EW is going have to do the same and start making herself the religion and grow up and live her fucking life.
I bet you it was feminist who said well you should give her everything or don't divorce her. What about his feelings? He obviously deserves love and compassion, and he isn't getting anything from her. No, he should keep everything he worked for and let her be.
Not all feminists are like that. True feminists don’t work on an all or none principle. We too have a nuanced understanding of things and I completely side with the OP here. As a lesbian woman myself I definitely think that the wife was 100% in the wrong… I can’t imagine using another individual for their own selfish methods of saving themselves
The fact that she was like “just stay in this miserable loveless marriage because it’s good for ME.” Literally she does not care that she stole his entire early adulthood ability to actually be loved by someone for her own gain. And she still doesn’t see why that matters. She’s the AH.
OP’s wife DOES NOT deserve a dime after divorce she completely used him. She didn’t even try faking that she loved him. She was literally visibly miserable for the ENTIRETY OF THE MARRIAGE. I sympathize with her upbringing and situation. I personally have friends, but I cannot tolerate or excuse a person who uses someone like that, She didn’t even try to pretend !!! What she did was cruel and wasted his opportunity to find true love … The only reason she doesn’t want to divorce is to keep using him. She doesn’t actually care nor love OP… if she did she would’ve set him free a long time ago .. or even consider his feelings during their conversation …she cares more about herself and her current situation …
OP's ex-wife is a terrible woman. And it makes other women look bad as well. In her head there were only the words "me, me, and me". Everything I must have. OP you uncomfortable? What is it? I'm fine. I don't care about you. It's normal, you's the one who's at fault. It's not my fault that I don't "love" you. It's you fault that you won't let me "use" you. Humanity is over.
I love the props!!! Keep bringing them on! Love the tin foil hat! LOL, I cracked up so hard. Bring back the red flag, and also add a trash can!!! Consider a manila folder with a huge pen... and outside the folder, it says divorce. With a Sign Here post-it note!!! LOLOL
You know the perfect song for this entire episode is Elle King can't be loved. It literally starts off with quit trying to love me I done told you many times before I'm not the one.
Poor OP I feel so bad for him...I want to give him a hug🥲You deserve to be someones MI AMOR....Definitely leave.....OP seems to be a good guy he will find his MI AMOR soon.God Bless🙏
My ex fiance, while still with me, made plans to move in with a woman and planned leaving me a few months in advance. He insisted he did not cheat on me. He wanted to break up with me 3 months prior but knew my parents would kick him out (I actually would have moved up to the second floor and left him the basement because I wouldn't make someone homeless if I could help it and I also knew nothing about what was happening) He insisted he never cheated on me. He got mad when I called him a cheater and he said he never slept with her. It took me a month to get him to admit what he did was cheating, but he did force me to admit that he did not physically cheat lol. I actually do mostly believe him but I got tested anyways. We broke up close to 10 years ago now and they are still together, so atleast my pain was worth it long term
The second story is the perfect example of why you should love yourself first. If you love yourself, there is no way you accept to stay with someone that doesn't. Best thing my dad gave me is the self love seed "You can't love someone properly if you don't love yourself first".
I cant stand the comments that said he should stay with her because shes in the closet and using it as a justification for what she did to him. I’m sorry but i was in the closet for a long time and it doesnt excuse being a shitty person. Trauma doesnt give you a free card to being a bad person and he is not her therapist or her doll to use and abuse
Whoa whoa whoa, the hand holding thing i totally relate too. I hate too much physical touch with romantic partners, but i let my friends who are girls touch me more, because i know there is no sexual intent in it. It feels safer for me, especially with friends I've had for 10+ years. Also i don't necessarily want to be friends with my friends spouses. I don't want drama to start, i don't want them to flirt or think I'm too friendly when my intentions have never been anything but platonic. I've legit had friends boyfriends start shit more than once when I never wanted or asked for that. I just don't want to be near them anymore. I will only hang out if they are 100% in love with their partner all the time so i don't need to worry about them doing stupid shit and ruining everyones lives
This whole story is why i can’t stand organized religion. Jesus Christ, just let people love who they want to love. OP’s wife’s family would prefer she be in a loveless marriage than be with the person she truly loves. Truly disgusting people Edit: The ex-wife’s attitude is also unhinged. I can understand why, but wow. OP definitely dodged a bullet.
That's not religion, that's people. Feel free to respond. But I'm not going to argue. If a person is being abused or shamed, that's not religion. That's a specific organization which is, in the case of Christianity, not following their own doctrine. I'm not going to blame all Mcdonalds if i go to one that has bad service and mistreats their guests. Js
@@smarti1809 once I hear the same accounts from different people from the same faith, it’s a pattern. Even if they aren’t following the doctrine, does it really matter when the effects are the same?
Everything is a belief system. The gender theories, originating in the USA and bleeding into other Western countries... is a belief system. It isn't science based, it is belief based. Better to be humble. People will believe what they believe. Judging religion can get tricky and easily bleed into cultural bigotry and racism.
Had a fuck buddy for 5 years that turned into a man i deeply loved and my absolute best friend who id talk to about anything and everything! He taught me how to be the lady men want and so on. Throughout the years we both had other relationships and he eventually got married and we havent talked ina. While. We see each other at the atore here and there and kinda stop and look at each other but go our seperate ways. We made a pact that if neither of us were married at 40 ,we find each other again, and live out the remainder of our lives with someone we know we work with. Lol i often wonder where ill be in ten years..
How heartbreaking…he’s in love with his wife and she CANT express who she REALLY is. I can’t even begin to imagine how broken they both feel. It’s so sad how parents can destroy their children’s happiness because of THEIR beliefs. So sad 😞
23:07 I felt that. You made me cry, Sam 😂 Religious organisations can foster a great sense of unity and kinship... but the shame, my dudes... The shame and the guilt-tripping brought by *years* of brainwashing. It sucks. Even with all the therapy, it still hits you in the guts sometimes. Or like a particularly unwanted sneaky ninja asssin or smthg. (like, Bam! shame-shuriken in your face! when you least expect it. or sometimes just infecting your life like slow-acting poison ) Worse when the stuff is baked into your family, your loved ones, your community... All that external pressure, the want to be a "good person" and conform.. mixed with the potential loss of social capital, the loss of everything you've ever known, everything you are or thought you'd be, the fear of being exiled or worse... (and don't get me started on the mental fuckery of deconstructing and re-constructing a whole value system from all the mess) it sucks :)))
That’s so heartbreaking tbh. The fact that OP was in that situation isn’t fair at all. And his early adulthood was wasted. & then the wife.. If they beat her when they discovered she wasn’t straight… there’s probably a level of feeling unsafe if they found out. Like I know a person who had to flee where they lived because people found out they were gay. And it’s a heartbreaking situation because they lost EVERYONE and became in danger at time & had to leave everything behind. It’s such a hard situation and while I do think she’s the AH for lying to him for all that time, I feel for both of them 💔
I remember when i thought that this is just my personality to have no personality, and evryone thought so too. Until i met people that i actually liked and wanted to be around. You fool yourself the hardest, and no one realises
If I were op's situation I'd go okay, we stay married, you be with your friend and I find someone else but I'm bi and have been so for decades when it was difficult af. I'm perfectly willing to shield someone in a horrible culture. For op? He needs out, he can love her but he needs to live his life. My circumstances are unusual Ooo things got messy in the last update, she needs to get gone
When my now ex husband was making his exit, he offered the option that if we're both single by whatever age (I can't remember because I was working on checking out) that we'd get back together. I told him that I'm nobody's pitty safety net! I'm absolutely amazing and I'm either going to be in a loving relationship where I'm actually wanted or I'll die single, either way he had his chance and he blew it. He has had 2 failed marriages and is maybe still single despite his top goal to be a father, he has no kids. I remarried and now have a child and 2 step kids. I wasn't supposed to be able to have children. My only successful pregnancy was incredibly high-risk and was a planned "premature" birth on the day I reached 36 weeks (considered full-term) Baby was less than 5 lbs but otherwise perfect and no NICU! My infertility was a factor in our separation. A mix of karma and fate, perhaps; I wouldn't change a thing if I could.
Beard is a slang term, American in origin, describing a person who is used, knowingly or unknowingly, as a date, romantic partner (boyfriend or girlfriend), or spouse either to conceal infidelity or to conceal one's sexual orientation.
Its not completely weird for BFF and Husband to not hang out. I've been married almost 10 years and my hisband and BFF have only been around each other 2 times. I'm jusy not a group hang person and would rather spend time 1-1. I would rather time with just my BFF or just my husband.
I agree that with someone about the @ 30 we would marry, have a kid maybe. However, I'm happily in a relationship with someone else now. Best relationship I've been in by far. BTW, I watch every clip and he has slowly started to get into it. I've been here for about a year and I can't wait to see y'all go so much further with the set, and other funny things like the nail video. Keep it up y'all are amazing!
20:40 i think an anullment is on the table for them instead of a divorce. One of the key points for an annulment instead of divorce is "being of unsound mind at the time of the marriage" i think the wife falls under that with the whole forced marriage thing with the parents. Depends on where they live though
What is that thumbnail 🤣 in seriousness, people using their spouse as a beard isn't ok. You can feel empathy, sure. It's obviously a hard situation for them to be in the closet. But the person being used needs more empathy. The person doing the using needs to open their eyes, take their head out of their ass and see what they've done.
The last one I just went through, our times didn't align, but I told him twice I don't think it will work, he insisted, so I gave it a chance, times still didn't align, but I started to get some feelings for him, he decided that he wasn't over his Ex and dumped me and said what I said about our times not aligning, that he was sorry he hurt me, but he tried to play it off, as I was right and convinced himself I think that I felt only friendship for him, but the truth is yes at first, but I did start to feel something for him and it cut like knives, but I didn't really let him know and played it off as well, he was my first relationship since my Husband's death almost two years ago and I hate that I let him in, only to have him give up, just when I started to think he felt something for me, we have been talking though morning, noon and night for almost a month though after breaking up, I told him when he broke up with me, I'd never date him again, but he answers me right back most of the time or if he doesn't hear from me, he'll message to check up on me, so I have no idea what that means, maybe regret, but as much as I want him in my life and to be my friend or more, I also know it wouldn't work out as he works days and I work evenings, we work at the same place, don't see each other often but we text all day to each other, plus I will not play second fiddle to an Ex he hasn't seen in almost 4 years and delusionally believes will come back though she has moved on and has a Boyfriend, to an extent I feel like he wants to be friends with me, likes me but not enough for a relationship, but I feel kind of like a used back up plan, he isn't dating right now, but neither am I for fear of getting rejected again by someone, my dating life has always sucked, I always get rejected, my Husband even ate himself to death, he was Obese, wouldn't take the help, he was even handicapped because of the weight his knees gave out, he died of a Cardiac Arrest as his heart gave out and died at 42 and every Boyfriend I've had has treated me like crap, needless to say at this point, I may just be done, there is no soul mate for me and I know this guy isn't, but I would have been ok with him, so now I'm stuck with a guy that is something more than a Friendship, but less than a relationship and I don't know where to go from here.
Incredibly selfish of OP’s wife to insist on him being her beard and depriving him of a marriage filled with genuine love and happiness. Just because she gave up on that doesn’t mean OP has to. Inheritances usually don’t have to be shared after divorces. So OP is entitled to that unless he put his wife’s name on the deed or she contributed to home improvements, depending on state or country laws. Although I wouldn’t be surprised if she sued for alimony since she was unemployed during your marriage, which depending on the state/country she could be entitled to.
"When he thinks of kissing me in an intimate way it just reminds him of his ex & he doesn't think it'll change" WHAT?!?!? Who the FUCK thinks of their ex when even THINKING about kissing their current partner?!?! She needs to cut this guy off. Dudes got some issues involving his ex & OP 100% deserves better. Also the "I'm in love with him" GIRL is been 3 months!! That's not love; that's infatuation.
No, who cares about her upbringing or past l, she used and abused him, she lied to him for years, he married a woman he thought loved him. Yes I empathy with her but she wronged him for years, you can show empathy without coddling someone when they fuck up. Change the scenario replace the gf with a old bf and the parents didn't approve of.
The only ultimatum i have with my friend is we are bestis and we go to the nursing home together or give a high-five to biggo after her she does the five
It’s a sad situation. The ex has some deep seated religious trauma and more likely might have faced a lot of emotional, mental and physical abuse. Let’s not forget the beatings she received. However none of this is OP’s problem to solve. He doesn’t have to save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. I just hope OP finds someone who truly loves him and she receives some counselling and comes to terms with her own truth.
Sooooo, from personal experience.......i was married to my ex husband for many years and we had 1 child. I realized 11 years into our marriage that i was inloce with a female high school friend. That was 12 years ago. We got married last year after being together over a decade. Thia atuff happens all the time. I still to thia day carry a tremendous amount of guilt for hurting him.
@@masterprick1 I never EVER said that I didn't love him. I loved him very much, I still do. He is one of my best friends and most trusted confidants. The father of our son. We were just not meant to be a romantic couple. That is all. Love and life is complicated, it's a sad reality that some people feel they need to hide who they truly are due to society's pressure. In my case, there was definitely love.
@@flazada Sorry, I didn't mean to accuse you, I was just genuinely curious and guess I projected OPs wife situation in the question. I should phrase it as "Did you love him when you got married?" Once again, sorry for accusing you, and thank you for answering my question.
@@masterprick1 I understand totally and no offense taken, I feel bad for all parties involved in the story. the wife did seem quite cold to OP the entire "relationship" sad
@22:30 I don’t think she used op, her parents did, the “beat her up” assaulted her then later pressured her to marry this man, she likely didn’t feel like she had a choice unfortunately
She used him to appease her parents ALSO she wanted to CONTINUE to use him in pressuring him to not divorce and to even start a family with her WHILE saying she didn’t love him and never loved him in the same breath. Never even once asked about how he was doing. Maybe not a bad person at her core BUT definitely a bad person for him.
I disagree, she made the choice to lie to him the whole time and was using him to cover the fact that she's in love with a woman. She could have chosen to be true to herself but instead made the choice to manipulate OP instead.
@@kag3inu4 and on top of that, she's looking to moving back in with her homophobic parents...at age 29. She cares so little for herself and her STBX that she'd go back to her abusers rather than be honest with herself or even better, take on some personal responsibility like a big girl and stop mooching off people
@@kag3inu4I think she herself has some deep seated religious trauma and abuse which she must’ve faced. However none of that is OP’s problem. He’s not responsible for whether she chooses to make or break her own life. He deserves soo much more better and honestly he handled this situation so well.
11:18 The reason is the husband is not giving what the wife needs from him. The friend doesnt like him. Lol. I use to hug but not wont. Damn she is in love and not have love her friend.
The wife with the friend really gaslighted her husband, I'm sorry for her, but more sorry for him. To marry someone and keep lying to this person is bad and obviously he could not expect this.
As far as making out goes.. im deeply disgusted by the thought of someone's tongue And salvia in my mouth. It makes me literally gag. Can't share drinks with anyone. Just yuck
The therapist was right she's a narcissist & made the relationship on her terms, not allowing OP to express his feelings. And soon as her friend came back, she emotionally cheats on OP. So her parents abused her ( In the name of Jesus) that's sad, but she emotionally abused OP's feelings. If anything she should of taken a vow of poverty, chastity, obedience & celibacy & become a nun. Also ask forgiveness, repent from these sinful thoughts to (Jesus Christ Lord & Saviour) as looking at a woman in a lust full way is a Sin.
Gay wife. I was shocked by commeters (read out) calling wife "toxic" and for OP to go no contact. Are you ftom Fairyland guys? Woman grew up in a toxic misogynistic culture to hide and pray away thr gay, how is it her fault she tried to fit in and failed? You shoud be calling the toxic churches out, not the victim. Yes, OP is the victim too, this all is very sad for everyone involved
Love your show, but was a little offended you guys calling OP’s behaviour equal to the bible. I would hope that you guys would respect all lifestyles and beliefs.
Did everyone just miss the part where OP said her parents BEAT her when they found out she was gay? I don't get everyone in the comments telling OP to go for the throat. I mean, what the wife did was hurtful, and horrible, but I don't get malice from her. It sounds like she made these choices as a result of fear and feeling trapped. If I was OP, I am thinking I would be mad at wife, but probably the bulk of my rage would be aimed at the use of religion to shame, and control, and the wife's awful parents.
@@huangrenjundeservestheuniv7906 things people do that have no malice motivating them, can still be very hurtful. I take issue in her not trying to not hurt him. I know that sounds weird, but I think this is what this is. She wasn't malicious, she wasn't TRYING to hurt him, but she also wasn't trying not to hurt him. Her behavior is very wrong, and she needs serious help, but I don't think she is some monster.
@@helianabanes4875 She's literally cheating with a woman who has a baby and a wife, Op literally spoke to her and showed her how bad he felt about himself because of her and she didn't care, she stole money from him, manipulated him emotionally for years, how is that not malice? She's not a kid, she's a grown ass woman who's a total narcissist and a lazy because she loved the money without having to do anything. If this was about an straight couple and op was a woman you wouldn't be saying the same.
Yes she used him, but it was for survival. It's pretty callous to judge her for that lie considering SHE WAS BEATEN. Even if OP is a nice guy she know that is the consequence. And while it's tough for op to have lived in a loveless marriage, you need to understand that for religious fundamentalist marriage is more a duty than it is romantic. Especially as a woman.
Op would’ve respected her decision but his wife kept using him instead being open to him, like Op stated he was ent strict religion and he doesn’t even beat her
@@Ok_buddy_thats_enough ya but still she is traumatized. OP even says this... I don't think he is in anyway in the wrong, but other people painting her in such an extreme light are downplaying the reality of growing up in such a household. Btw he says that her family is even more extreme than his. Especially given that he has a lesbian sister who is apparently accepted. Obviously what she did is wrong, but i don't think many people would react differently given the circumstances. In other word narcissism is born through trauma.
According to the first story, op's wife did nothing wrong religiously speaking. She married a man and is not sinning XD soo. The problem was their parents being so violent and op not seeing the obvious signs that she didn't love him. She was just a victim of religion and so did he but the one who suffered the most was her who was willingly living in auto pilot just to make their parents happy by following religion. It's very sad that religion made both of them unhappy but I don't think none of them had malicious intentions. She probably thought her feelings will change, she would love op, that it was a phase, and so on and so forth but none of that happened
Ayo so this is a good example to use on the subject of resource guarding. Essentially OPs ex saw OP as a means of provider. Therefore she was going to keep him around because he gave her a good life. It's basically a deeply rooted instinctual thing we do whether we like to admit it or not. I'm not saying we don't love our men and that why we stay, but I am saying it's a big part of it. 🤷♀️ ruclips.net/video/dZCLZ_W1BUk/видео.htmlsi=IDmXvQ5Aoc_dRz2d
I jokingly told one of my closest male friends that if we get to 30 and we’re not married that we would have a child and co-parent together. Four months later we started dating organically. It’s been three years and we’re getting married early next year 😂❤
If you guys aren’t 30 yet you 1000000% need to do something really special when you do turn 30.
Congrats also!
@@JenPappI second this!
How come I can't comment :/
Aww. This is so cute❤
Awww!!
Hell no! The wife definitely used him since the beginning of the relationship. She had been distant with him not allowing intimacy in the relationship every single time she rejected his affection, she made the decision to act that way every single time, which proves she always knew she wasn't attracted to him but still let him on, While one can be empathetic with her situation that doesn't justify how selfish she was and it's disgusting how someone can drag someone in their non resolved issues and hurt them. She is the one who failed the relationship since day 1 because she was never attracted to him.
I wouldn't consider it full blown "using". It's really hard to grow up in an extremely religious family suffering under abusive parents. Her family basically forced her into "conversion therapy" by beating her once they found out she was gay and pushing for her to marry him. Her family and church hold a lot of blame here.
She has needed therapy all these years, but I think she doesn't want to be called out on her behavior. It was wrong of her to be in a relationship with someone she didn't feel romantic love for...but their marriage is not the first fake hetero marriage. She should've just been honest about it, because he noticed and knew. She should acknowledge that she hurt him and was selfish.
When John wears a button down, he looks like a genuine therapist. I love it
I grew up with a similar toxic religious family situation as the first OPs wife. I pretended to have "crushes" on boys to avoid people being suspicious, and it was awful everyday feeling that i could never simply be honest with myself in that way. HOWEVER. Being hurt doesn't mean that hurting other people suddenly becomes okay and excusable. OP deserves happiness and shouldnt sacrifice himself to further empathize with someone who clearly didn't consider his own feelings even once. I hope he's able to find a genuine sense of joy, and that his ex figures her own life out without using people who care about her.
She used him as a life vest to get out of her probably insanely abusive home. Sucks for him, but she’s not wrong for doing what she had to in order to survive.
@@twideslauriers7875she is though. stealing years of someone’s life and pretending to love them is not and never will be okay in any situation. I understand why she did it, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay whatsoever.
I'm convinced she's been long distance cheating the whole time. He just found out about the "bff" existing BUT the BFF said she didn't want to attend the wedding.
I haven't made a promise but my mom has. She told her closest male friend that if they both were still single by 30 they would get married. Her 30th birthday rolled around and she was like "Yo, I'm not married and your not married. You know the deal." But he was like "Welllll about that.. I'm actually gay." So yeah.💀
I mean "I never loved you before and it wasn't an issue" man... pick up the shredded pieces of my heart :(
That was just vicious.
I think OP deserves to find a relationship where the love is real. They deserve just as much. I'm so glad he didn't give in to continue a loveless marriage, and it's so cruel that he saw comments that ppl said he should. Your never to old for love and I hope OP doesn't let his (ex)wife stop him from finding his true love, or at least experiencing love.
“I never loved you, stay married to me.” Wtf? That is the literal worst “please don’t divorce me” plea ever.
OP deserves a gold star.
Being in a loveless marriage is cruel. Especially as she didn't see a problem with it. She shouldn't be allowed his stuff from before marriage, as SHE never saw it as a marriage, but a 'get out of family problems'.
If she has chosen to have a job, then she probably wouldn't have had to move home either. She made her own bed, and chose to still have contact with her toxic parents. She could have chosen a life of honesty and gotten help so many times. Seems like OP really tried, and some day he will make a woman truly happy.
She was selfish, maybe not on purpose, but she was. She wanted everything for her: her lover and her male bff.
@@alexiatr I know one should never contribute to malice, what can be contributed to stupidity. However, OP was right when he said he was no more than a dog in her eyes.
yall are so homophobic my god. it is not that easy to leave abusers especially in the deep south. hate crimes still happen. it sucks for him but she did what she had to in order to survive
@@twideslauriers7875 Hiding cruelty behind sexuality is not an excuse.
I'm bi myself.
Should he just accept being used as a shield because he is a man? Does he not deserve love?
As he said, had she just been upfront about it all earlier, then he would have helped her. But this has been years. She even wanted to baby trap him!
@@twideslauriers7875the woman literally abused him for years Psychologically
The hat/jacket combo makes Sam look like a teen tourist on his school trip to Europe. 😂
My heart hurt for the guy like how do you tell someone repeatedly you do not love him like I heard you the first time. Why would I have a baby with you she was crazy.
the wife still pisses me off tho. yes when ur a child she had no choice but once she was an adult she cant use the "my family made me" card. She cant blame her family forever for her choices especially once she was no longer living with them. Plus the fact she went as far as to marry op is even more fucked up since she waisted both his and her life for no reason. they both could've been happily married but she choose to be complacent in her shitty life and she dragged/hurt someone along with her.
EDIT: BRO THATS EVEN WORSE. in the final update not only did she lie to him, SHE insisted on marriage AND she was freeloading?!?! bruhhhhhh thank god her ex moved on from her cuz that level of toxicity is insane, bro was speed runnin into misery
I love the red flag alert you guys have now.😂
Oooo we LOVE a good 46 minute video 😍
Big juicy episodes for y’all
@@OKOPShowlong, heavy and girthy. just like how I like my reddit stories
To be fair to the wife, depending on where they are in the world, it’s a very real possibility that her family will try to end her if they find out the reason for the divorce.
OP was very kind and stand-up in the way he handled things. I hope they both can find happiness and safety.
Edit after last update: I have much less sympathy for the ex-wife after all that. Still rooting for OP
35:50 I think the friend was maybe using the wife since the wife was buying her things. I can’t think of the other things, but I know there’s more.
Shes only thinking about herself. And its selfish to not let him go out and find the love he needs and wants/wanted from her. Only thinking about the comfort of her life. Not his comfort or feelings. Just sad. I feel really bad for OP and she doesn't deserve anything in the divorce. Its not hers. And she did in a sense use him ,when she knew she wasn't in love with in in that way but selfishly never chose to tell him those thoughts or feelings. 🤷🏼♀️
I uh. Well. My family has a long history of depression and various other mental health issues so occasionally one of us staring into space like we’re dead inside is normal for us so the bit Sam and John did made me laugh a little too hard.
Same. I laughed too hard and pulled a muscle, *cries in eds *
Nothing against those that have children and then go through divorce, but sometimes I think that it’s for the best when there aren’t children involved. I was with my Ex for 18 years and the divorce wasn’t very messy, but I’m very grateful that we didn’t have children. I’m glad that the split was able to be clean. He even walked away from our dogs (don’t know how he could, but I’m very grateful that he did). Divorce is never easy, but when you can make it as clean as possible, it is easier for all involved.
Warm tea and OKOP video is my perfect combo✨
Those tinfoil hats are the best!!! 😂😂😂
That story is so heartbreaking. Being used as a beard unknowingly is bad enough, but for her not to even care about the damage inflicted on him emotionally is horrible. "I've never loved you, but why should that matter?" That's disgusting.
Thanks Sam & John!!! You guys make my day and work go by so quick!!! ❤ thanks from CA
Anytime 😊
27:00 this sounds like the only selfish thing OP has done, and tbh that’s what he needs. I felt bad for the wife, but her attitude killed that.
If I was gay, I 100% would have sought to marry my best friend. She is an amazing woman, wifey without question!! And of all the people I've seen, she is hands-down one of the most beautiful.
I'm not gay and intimacy within a marriage matters.
Aside, intimacy complicates relationships otherwise, I would never be OK in a NMR. Know thyself, don't judge.
She isn't gay but she did bring it up several times.
I've been married 7 years and she's getting married (to a man) next year!! We're both in our early-mid 40's for whatever that's worth...it seems "kids" date differently these days. Or I'm just a prude 🤷🏻♀️ I guess both are true 😂
OP handled his situation in a very good way. It's time for him to think of self and he deserves to be happy. EW is going have to do the same and start making herself the religion and grow up and live her fucking life.
I hope the OP from the first story has a fulfilling life and finds his true love.
I hope his ex is forever alone.
I bet you it was feminist who said well you should give her everything or don't divorce her. What about his feelings? He obviously deserves love and compassion, and he isn't getting anything from her. No, he should keep everything he worked for and let her be.
Not all feminists are like that. True feminists don’t work on an all or none principle. We too have a nuanced understanding of things and I completely side with the OP here. As a lesbian woman myself I definitely think that the wife was 100% in the wrong… I can’t imagine using another individual for their own selfish methods of saving themselves
The fact that she was like “just stay in this miserable loveless marriage because it’s good for ME.” Literally she does not care that she stole his entire early adulthood ability to actually be loved by someone for her own gain. And she still doesn’t see why that matters. She’s the AH.
OP’s wife DOES NOT deserve a dime after divorce she completely used him. She didn’t even try faking that she loved him. She was literally visibly miserable for the ENTIRETY OF THE MARRIAGE.
I sympathize with her upbringing and situation. I personally have friends, but I cannot tolerate or excuse a person who uses someone like that, She didn’t even try to pretend !!! What she did was cruel and wasted his opportunity to find true love … The only reason she doesn’t want to divorce is to keep using him. She doesn’t actually care nor love OP… if she did she would’ve set him free a long time ago .. or even consider his feelings during their conversation …she cares more about herself and her current situation …
I AGREE, like in the comments they keep defending her
OP's ex-wife is a terrible woman.
And it makes other women look bad as well.
In her head there were only the words "me, me, and me".
Everything I must have. OP you uncomfortable?
What is it? I'm fine. I don't care about you.
It's normal, you's the one who's at fault.
It's not my fault that I don't "love" you.
It's you fault that you won't let me "use" you.
Humanity is over.
New video: Exists
Me: Day made
I love the props!!! Keep bringing them on! Love the tin foil hat! LOL, I cracked up so hard. Bring back the red flag, and also add a trash can!!! Consider a manila folder with a huge pen... and outside the folder, it says divorce. With a Sign Here post-it note!!! LOLOL
Them texts are gonna destroy her in the divorce..
You know the perfect song for this entire episode is Elle King can't be loved. It literally starts off with quit trying to love me I done told you many times before I'm not the one.
7:58 this comment feels like it’s downplaying OPs feelings.
Poor OP I feel so bad for him...I want to give him a hug🥲You deserve to be someones MI AMOR....Definitely leave.....OP seems to be a good guy he will find his MI AMOR soon.God Bless🙏
My ex fiance, while still with me, made plans to move in with a woman and planned leaving me a few months in advance.
He insisted he did not cheat on me. He wanted to break up with me 3 months prior but knew my parents would kick him out (I actually would have moved up to the second floor and left him the basement because I wouldn't make someone homeless if I could help it and I also knew nothing about what was happening)
He insisted he never cheated on me. He got mad when I called him a cheater and he said he never slept with her. It took me a month to get him to admit what he did was cheating, but he did force me to admit that he did not physically cheat lol. I actually do mostly believe him but I got tested anyways.
We broke up close to 10 years ago now and they are still together, so atleast my pain was worth it long term
The second story is the perfect example of why you should love yourself first. If you love yourself, there is no way you accept to stay with someone that doesn't. Best thing my dad gave me is the self love seed "You can't love someone properly if you don't love yourself first".
OP deserves so much better
I cant stand the comments that said he should stay with her because shes in the closet and using it as a justification for what she did to him. I’m sorry but i was in the closet for a long time and it doesnt excuse being a shitty person. Trauma doesnt give you a free card to being a bad person and he is not her therapist or her doll to use and abuse
Drink every time one of them says like💀
I’m a valley boy what can I say
@OKOPShow love you guys! Hope you have a great new year!
Whoa whoa whoa, the hand holding thing i totally relate too. I hate too much physical touch with romantic partners, but i let my friends who are girls touch me more, because i know there is no sexual intent in it. It feels safer for me, especially with friends I've had for 10+ years. Also i don't necessarily want to be friends with my friends spouses. I don't want drama to start, i don't want them to flirt or think I'm too friendly when my intentions have never been anything but platonic. I've legit had friends boyfriends start shit more than once when I never wanted or asked for that. I just don't want to be near them anymore. I will only hang out if they are 100% in love with their partner all the time so i don't need to worry about them doing stupid shit and ruining everyones lives
This is giving strong asexual / pro platonic intimacy vibes and I’m here for it
This whole story is why i can’t stand organized religion. Jesus Christ, just let people love who they want to love. OP’s wife’s family would prefer she be in a loveless marriage than be with the person she truly loves. Truly disgusting people
Edit: The ex-wife’s attitude is also unhinged. I can understand why, but wow. OP definitely dodged a bullet.
That's not religion, that's people. Feel free to respond. But I'm not going to argue. If a person is being abused or shamed, that's not religion. That's a specific organization which is, in the case of Christianity, not following their own doctrine.
I'm not going to blame all Mcdonalds if i go to one that has bad service and mistreats their guests. Js
@@smarti1809 once I hear the same accounts from different people from the same faith, it’s a pattern. Even if they aren’t following the doctrine, does it really matter when the effects are the same?
@@Gayonetta5000 anecdotal evidence...
@@smarti1809 evidence for what, my dislike of religion?
Everything is a belief system. The gender theories, originating in the USA and bleeding into other Western countries... is a belief system. It isn't science based, it is belief based. Better to be humble. People will believe what they believe. Judging religion can get tricky and easily bleed into cultural bigotry and racism.
Poor OP. He definitely handled it with grace. She was selfish and wasted years pretending .
After a 12 hr work day I love falling asleep to yall ❤
That poor guy. Wow
This was a great show guys! 👏You boys are so adorable!
Had a fuck buddy for 5 years that turned into a man i deeply loved and my absolute best friend who id talk to about anything and everything! He taught me how to be the lady men want and so on. Throughout the years we both had other relationships and he eventually got married and we havent talked ina. While. We see each other at the atore here and there and kinda stop and look at each other but go our seperate ways. We made a pact that if neither of us were married at 40 ,we find each other again, and live out the remainder of our lives with someone we know we work with. Lol i often wonder where ill be in ten years..
How heartbreaking…he’s in love with his wife and she CANT express who she REALLY is. I can’t even begin to imagine how broken they both feel. It’s so sad how parents can destroy their children’s happiness because of THEIR beliefs. So sad 😞
23:07 I felt that. You made me cry, Sam 😂
Religious organisations can foster a great sense of unity and kinship... but the shame, my dudes...
The shame and the guilt-tripping brought by *years* of brainwashing. It sucks.
Even with all the therapy, it still hits you in the guts sometimes. Or like a particularly unwanted sneaky ninja asssin or smthg.
(like, Bam! shame-shuriken in your face! when you least expect it. or sometimes just infecting your life like slow-acting poison )
Worse when the stuff is baked into your family, your loved ones, your community...
All that external pressure, the want to be a "good person" and conform..
mixed with the potential loss of social capital, the loss of everything you've ever known, everything you are or thought you'd be, the fear of being exiled or worse...
(and don't get me started on the mental fuckery of deconstructing and re-constructing a whole value system from all the mess)
it sucks :)))
Great video guys
That’s so heartbreaking tbh.
The fact that OP was in that situation isn’t fair at all. And his early adulthood was wasted.
& then the wife.. If they beat her when they discovered she wasn’t straight… there’s probably a level of feeling unsafe if they found out. Like I know a person who had to flee where they lived because people found out they were gay. And it’s a heartbreaking situation because they lost EVERYONE and became in danger at time & had to leave everything behind.
It’s such a hard situation and while I do think she’s the AH for lying to him for all that time, I feel for both of them 💔
I remember when i thought that this is just my personality to have no personality, and evryone thought so too. Until i met people that i actually liked and wanted to be around. You fool yourself the hardest, and no one realises
If I were op's situation I'd go okay, we stay married, you be with your friend and I find someone else but I'm bi and have been so for decades when it was difficult af. I'm perfectly willing to shield someone in a horrible culture. For op? He needs out, he can love her but he needs to live his life. My circumstances are unusual
Ooo things got messy in the last update, she needs to get gone
15:09 I’m getting the feeling that they’ve AT LEAST kissed by now, during hers and his relationship.
What Sam is trying to say is having that outside perspective allows you to actually think un biasly
When my now ex husband was making his exit, he offered the option that if we're both single by whatever age (I can't remember because I was working on checking out) that we'd get back together.
I told him that I'm nobody's pitty safety net! I'm absolutely amazing and I'm either going to be in a loving relationship where I'm actually wanted or I'll die single, either way he had his chance and he blew it.
He has had 2 failed marriages and is maybe still single despite his top goal to be a father, he has no kids.
I remarried and now have a child and 2 step kids.
I wasn't supposed to be able to have children. My only successful pregnancy was incredibly high-risk and was a planned "premature" birth on the day I reached 36 weeks (considered full-term)
Baby was less than 5 lbs but otherwise perfect and no NICU!
My infertility was a factor in our separation. A mix of karma and fate, perhaps; I wouldn't change a thing if I could.
Beard is a slang term, American in origin, describing a person who is used, knowingly or unknowingly, as a date, romantic partner (boyfriend or girlfriend), or spouse either to conceal infidelity or to conceal one's sexual orientation.
Its not completely weird for BFF and Husband to not hang out. I've been married almost 10 years and my hisband and BFF have only been around each other 2 times. I'm jusy not a group hang person and would rather spend time 1-1.
I would rather time with just my BFF or just my husband.
I agree that with someone about the @ 30 we would marry, have a kid maybe. However, I'm happily in a relationship with someone else now. Best relationship I've been in by far.
BTW, I watch every clip and he has slowly started to get into it. I've been here for about a year and I can't wait to see y'all go so much further with the set, and other funny things like the nail video. Keep it up y'all are amazing!
Oof after the final update though. OP 😭
Well they probably will find out it's not healthy to keep that type of secret like that. Holy cow yeah he isnt at all over his ex holy moly
20:40 i think an anullment is on the table for them instead of a divorce. One of the key points for an annulment instead of divorce is "being of unsound mind at the time of the marriage" i think the wife falls under that with the whole forced marriage thing with the parents. Depends on where they live though
What is that thumbnail 🤣 in seriousness, people using their spouse as a beard isn't ok. You can feel empathy, sure. It's obviously a hard situation for them to be in the closet. But the person being used needs more empathy. The person doing the using needs to open their eyes, take their head out of their ass and see what they've done.
I told one of my friends that if they take over the world, I get Belgium because WAFFLES👌
Yep.
The last one I just went through, our times didn't align, but I told him twice I don't think it will work, he insisted, so I gave it a chance, times still didn't align, but I started to get some feelings for him, he decided that he wasn't over his Ex and dumped me and said what I said about our times not aligning, that he was sorry he hurt me, but he tried to play it off, as I was right and convinced himself I think that I felt only friendship for him, but the truth is yes at first, but I did start to feel something for him and it cut like knives, but I didn't really let him know and played it off as well, he was my first relationship since my Husband's death almost two years ago and I hate that I let him in, only to have him give up, just when I started to think he felt something for me, we have been talking though morning, noon and night for almost a month though after breaking up, I told him when he broke up with me, I'd never date him again, but he answers me right back most of the time or if he doesn't hear from me, he'll message to check up on me, so I have no idea what that means, maybe regret, but as much as I want him in my life and to be my friend or more, I also know it wouldn't work out as he works days and I work evenings, we work at the same place, don't see each other often but we text all day to each other, plus I will not play second fiddle to an Ex he hasn't seen in almost 4 years and delusionally believes will come back though she has moved on and has a Boyfriend, to an extent I feel like he wants to be friends with me, likes me but not enough for a relationship, but I feel kind of like a used back up plan, he isn't dating right now, but neither am I for fear of getting rejected again by someone, my dating life has always sucked, I always get rejected, my Husband even ate himself to death, he was Obese, wouldn't take the help, he was even handicapped because of the weight his knees gave out, he died of a Cardiac Arrest as his heart gave out and died at 42 and every Boyfriend I've had has treated me like crap, needless to say at this point, I may just be done, there is no soul mate for me and I know this guy isn't, but I would have been ok with him, so now I'm stuck with a guy that is something more than a Friendship, but less than a relationship and I don't know where to go from here.
Incredibly selfish of OP’s wife to insist on him being her beard and depriving him of a marriage filled with genuine love and happiness. Just because she gave up on that doesn’t mean OP has to. Inheritances usually don’t have to be shared after divorces. So OP is entitled to that unless he put his wife’s name on the deed or she contributed to home improvements, depending on state or country laws. Although I wouldn’t be surprised if she sued for alimony since she was unemployed during your marriage, which depending on the state/country she could be entitled to.
Good afternoon 😊
"When he thinks of kissing me in an intimate way it just reminds him of his ex & he doesn't think it'll change"
WHAT?!?!? Who the FUCK thinks of their ex when even THINKING about kissing their current partner?!?! She needs to cut this guy off. Dudes got some issues involving his ex & OP 100% deserves better.
Also the "I'm in love with him" GIRL is been 3 months!! That's not love; that's infatuation.
I had a deal with a friend, that if we were both still virgins with 30 we would change this together. Fortunately we didn't have to 😅
I’ve made a pact with my guy best friend too . If we both aren’t with someone by 45 we’ll just be together but I don’t think it’s serious lol
No, who cares about her upbringing or past l, she used and abused him, she lied to him for years, he married a woman he thought loved him.
Yes I empathy with her but she wronged him for years, you can show empathy without coddling someone when they fuck up.
Change the scenario replace the gf with a old bf and the parents didn't approve of.
How do I become a member?
The only ultimatum i have with my friend is we are bestis and we go to the nursing home together or give a high-five to biggo after her she does the five
@okop when you say moonshot do you mean the game?
It’s giving Whitney & robin vibes
This woman was physically assaulted. Is it safe for her to come out at all. This is a tough one.
It’s a sad situation. The ex has some deep seated religious trauma and more likely might have faced a lot of emotional, mental and physical abuse. Let’s not forget the beatings she received. However none of this is OP’s problem to solve. He doesn’t have to save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. I just hope OP finds someone who truly loves him and she receives some counselling and comes to terms with her own truth.
Sooooo, from personal experience.......i was married to my ex husband for many years and we had 1 child. I realized 11 years into our marriage that i was inloce with a female high school friend. That was 12 years ago. We got married last year after being together over a decade. Thia atuff happens all the time. I still to thia day carry a tremendous amount of guilt for hurting him.
But did you intentionally marry him knowing you didn't love him?
@@masterprick1 I never EVER said that I didn't love him. I loved him very much, I still do. He is one of my best friends and most trusted confidants. The father of our son. We were just not meant to be a romantic couple. That is all. Love and life is complicated, it's a sad reality that some people feel they need to hide who they truly are due to society's pressure. In my case, there was definitely love.
@@flazada Sorry, I didn't mean to accuse you, I was just genuinely curious and guess I projected OPs wife situation in the question. I should phrase it as "Did you love him when you got married?" Once again, sorry for accusing you, and thank you for answering my question.
@@masterprick1 I understand totally and no offense taken, I feel bad for all parties involved in the story. the wife did seem quite cold to OP the entire "relationship" sad
No excuse for the pain you inflicted.
Any chance we go back to not doing the spill that tea? 😅😅
@22:30 I don’t think she used op, her parents did, the “beat her up” assaulted her then later pressured her to marry this man, she likely didn’t feel like she had a choice unfortunately
She used him to appease her parents ALSO she wanted to CONTINUE to use him in pressuring him to not divorce and to even start a family with her WHILE saying she didn’t love him and never loved him in the same breath. Never even once asked about how he was doing. Maybe not a bad person at her core BUT definitely a bad person for him.
I disagree, she made the choice to lie to him the whole time and was using him to cover the fact that she's in love with a woman. She could have chosen to be true to herself but instead made the choice to manipulate OP instead.
@@kag3inu4 and on top of that, she's looking to moving back in with her homophobic parents...at age 29. She cares so little for herself and her STBX that she'd go back to her abusers rather than be honest with herself or even better, take on some personal responsibility like a big girl and stop mooching off people
@@kag3inu4I think she herself has some deep seated religious trauma and abuse which she must’ve faced. However none of that is OP’s problem. He’s not responsible for whether she chooses to make or break her own life. He deserves soo much more better and honestly he handled this situation so well.
@@TheAnonymousuchiha1225 I agree 100%! At the end of the day, OP has to take care of themself.
11:18 The reason is the husband is not giving what the wife needs from him. The friend doesnt like him. Lol. I use to hug but not wont. Damn she is in love and not have love her friend.
13:57 I made a pack and we been married for 5 years.
Do women not realize how many spam profiles are made and sent to men.
The wife with the friend really gaslighted her husband, I'm sorry for her, but more sorry for him. To marry someone and keep lying to this person is bad and obviously he could not expect this.
As far as making out goes.. im deeply disgusted by the thought of someone's tongue And salvia in my mouth. It makes me literally gag. Can't share drinks with anyone. Just yuck
Lol. I could have written the gender swapped version of this. 2023 has been a beach 😒
The therapist was right she's a narcissist & made the relationship on her terms, not allowing OP to express his feelings. And soon as her friend came back, she emotionally cheats on OP. So her parents abused her ( In the name of Jesus) that's sad, but she emotionally abused OP's feelings. If anything she should of taken a vow of poverty, chastity, obedience & celibacy & become a nun. Also ask forgiveness, repent from these sinful thoughts to (Jesus Christ Lord & Saviour) as looking at a woman in a lust full way is a Sin.
First story: she probably just has an active imagination. I stare off into the distance all the time I'm just fantasizing about stuff for my books
It sounds like they are in love but religion has shackled them emotionally.
Come on we all know it's Sam+Big protein forever 💖💕😍
Gay wife. I was shocked by commeters (read out) calling wife "toxic" and for OP to go no contact. Are you ftom Fairyland guys? Woman grew up in a toxic misogynistic culture to hide and pray away thr gay, how is it her fault she tried to fit in and failed? You shoud be calling the toxic churches out, not the victim. Yes, OP is the victim too, this all is very sad for everyone involved
Love your show, but was a little offended you guys calling OP’s behaviour equal to the bible. I would hope that you guys would respect all lifestyles and beliefs.
Hate the spill that tea
Did everyone just miss the part where OP said her parents BEAT her when they found out she was gay? I don't get everyone in the comments telling OP to go for the throat. I mean, what the wife did was hurtful, and horrible, but I don't get malice from her. It sounds like she made these choices as a result of fear and feeling trapped. If I was OP, I am thinking I would be mad at wife, but probably the bulk of my rage would be aimed at the use of religion to shame, and control, and the wife's awful parents.
You don't get malice in her using his money and Neglecting the man for years?
@@huangrenjundeservestheuniv7906 things people do that have no malice motivating them, can still be very hurtful. I take issue in her not trying to not hurt him. I know that sounds weird, but I think this is what this is. She wasn't malicious, she wasn't TRYING to hurt him, but she also wasn't trying not to hurt him. Her behavior is very wrong, and she needs serious help, but I don't think she is some monster.
@@helianabanes4875 She's literally cheating with a woman who has a baby and a wife, Op literally spoke to her and showed her how bad he felt about himself because of her and she didn't care, she stole money from him, manipulated him emotionally for years, how is that not malice? She's not a kid, she's a grown ass woman who's a total narcissist and a lazy because she loved the money without having to do anything.
If this was about an straight couple and op was a woman you wouldn't be saying the same.
Yes she used him, but it was for survival. It's pretty callous to judge her for that lie considering SHE WAS BEATEN. Even if OP is a nice guy she know that is the consequence. And while it's tough for op to have lived in a loveless marriage, you need to understand that for religious fundamentalist marriage is more a duty than it is romantic. Especially as a woman.
Op would’ve respected her decision but his wife kept using him instead being open to him, like Op stated he was ent strict religion and he doesn’t even beat her
@@Ok_buddy_thats_enough ya but still she is traumatized. OP even says this... I don't think he is in anyway in the wrong, but other people painting her in such an extreme light are downplaying the reality of growing up in such a household. Btw he says that her family is even more extreme than his. Especially given that he has a lesbian sister who is apparently accepted. Obviously what she did is wrong, but i don't think many people would react differently given the circumstances. In other word narcissism is born through trauma.
According to the first story, op's wife did nothing wrong religiously speaking. She married a man and is not sinning XD soo. The problem was their parents being so violent and op not seeing the obvious signs that she didn't love him. She was just a victim of religion and so did he but the one who suffered the most was her who was willingly living in auto pilot just to make their parents happy by following religion. It's very sad that religion made both of them unhappy but I don't think none of them had malicious intentions. She probably thought her feelings will change, she would love op, that it was a phase, and so on and so forth but none of that happened
Ayo so this is a good example to use on the subject of resource guarding. Essentially OPs ex saw OP as a means of provider. Therefore she was going to keep him around because he gave her a good life. It's basically a deeply rooted instinctual thing we do whether we like to admit it or not. I'm not saying we don't love our men and that why we stay, but I am saying it's a big part of it. 🤷♀️
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