The Dark Side of DNA Tests
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- Опубликовано: 5 ноя 2024
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r/BestofRedditorUpdates - A user seeks help interpreting her DNA results and uncovers a dark family secret
r/BestofRedditorUpdates - TIFU By getting getting tested to donate a kidney to my wife- New Update
r/BestofRedditorUpdates - My boyfriend thinks I cheated on him because I'm pregnant... But I'm a virgin[FINAL UPDATE]
r/BestofRedditorUpdates - I cheated on my wife with her sister
#redditstories #reddit #funnyredditposts
Good God, that first story sucks. Who willingly has an affair with their own daughter? What daughter has an affair with her Dad? Now OP has a sister-niece. That Dad deserves to go to jail...literally.
They both deserve jail.
There's a popular true crime case where this happened and they actually had a kid together and got married before the father killed them all. Shit is wild.
I have sympathy for the daughter, she was very young and probably desperate for a father figure and has very complicated feelings around having parents. He took advantage of that and manipulated her. She was an adult, but a very young adult and not technically fully matured. He’s certainly the worst in that situation and should never get to be around any of his children.
@@greenginger6668THIS! The daughter clearly has issues.. She's the child and she was young..very young
Omg, I was going to say the dad slept with his wife's sister but the true answer is worse
DNA doesn’t destroy a family, the person who lies is the destructive one✌🏽👽
YES 👍🏻
My mom and Aunt are twins. My cousins pop up as half siblings instead of first cousins when we did the dna test.
If two sets of identical twins marry and have children, the children are genetically siblings. If a twin marries a non twin, the children are genetically half siblings.
It's incredible how DNA work
My dad and his cousin married sisters...my mom and my Aunt.
The kids from both families really resemble each other!
It's pretty difficult to tell the baby pictures apart. The grandkids look even more alike! DNA is weird.
@@deannaambriz9102lol I feel like when people who have identical twins in their family or siblings marry identical twins and then have kids, they should probably use certain colors or objects to differentiate everyone, like maybe toddlers have certain cloth color schemes or combinations or they even have some consumable safe paints and assign certain shapes to each kid until they are old enough to distinguish in pictures
So many " sins" are coming to light, rapists being found decades later due to " familial" DNA ( a relative being convicted and matched on the police database as a relative of the rapist.) Husbands finding out their kids aren't theirs, guys finding out that drunken one night stand years earlier produced a baby. Lives wrecked, so sad.
Twins who marry twins and have children, the children of both couples all have dna that says they are full siblings even hough they ae cousins. 2 twin girls married 2 twin boys and they all lived in one house. Both couples became pregnant at the same time and had children who have basicalky the same dna. This is a real case. Google it..
I'm so nauseous thinking about what that scumbag father did to his own daughter. How heartbreaking.
The first story: it’s not A’s mom and OP’s dads bad decision she was looking for the love of her parents and the dad groomed her and used her desperate need for that paternal love to get his rocks off and sleep with a much younger woman. It’s so disgusting what he did to her sick SOB
It's actually pretty common for people who are related but never knew each other to be sexually attracted to each other. They will feel a connection because of the close relation, but it turns into a romantic feeling because they didn't develop a normal familial relationship. I am not excusing his actions - just explaining why it happens. There have been many instances of the same thing happening with a parent and the child that they put up for adoption or otherwise lost contact with.
@@KaramarikaThat sounds sad.
Pray for OP.🙏🏻
I think she was also upset with her parents for putting the first daughter up for adoption as well. That's the reason she was upset at her mom.
@@Karamarikadid he not know that was his daughter though?? I thought that he was aware
😀😀How does one unhear the DNA story? 😭😭😭 Asking for a friend.
@@KloudzRfluffy1st one. Skip 1st story to 16 minutes
But...they're...they're ALL DNA stories????
Like...these videos have more than ONE story, all about the same topic??????
The first one. I- 😭😭 Had to take break after that one😭📉
😮they shld have saved that one for last.. lol. ... I'm still like 🫣😒
R/ eye bleach works wonders for eyes should work for ears.
Cases like the first story is why it's important to do DNA tests. AY's health problems can be dealt with so much better now that they know the family history, even though the truth is gruesome. So even if you don't have any health problems, it could still help one of your lost family members.
Also, poor AY and OP's family. Also, poor mum for finding out that your husband did this to your kid (AY's mum). And poor AY's mum, she was probably just looking for her parents, but what she got was that awful father.
Story 1: OMFG imagine having to tell that 18yo girl who her parents are. I can't even imagine that conversation. I hope they all find a way to heal and that Dad leaves both of those families alone if that's what they want.
I couldn't imagine being that child finding this out. I would've reacted the same way this girl did tbh
@@virginiapeach79 same
Here’s your dad. He’s also your grandpa…..
Story 1: damn… that was a tough one. The father is straight up evil, and there is no forgiveness, imo.
As hard as it was, it turned out okay in the end, and this poor girl has a support structure now.
I think 23andMe has done a good thing by uncovering all these lies.
My dad lied, SAed me and my sisters, and had a secret second family. And so many people would go their whole lives not knowing they are living a disgusting LIE if it wasn’t for these DNA tests.
So I’m glad these horrible people can no longer lie and manipulate their way out of consequences.
YES finally someone saying this! Everyone saying the DNA test are destroying families, no the people who fucked up and didn't care about their families are the ones who destroyed their family.
Wishing you all the best ❤
Yes, SA frm a Father is unfortunately more frequent through time than we’d like to think so offspring shouldn’t feel like they are alone.
I think she is very fortunate for coming out ok as we all kno it is not always the case in those types of conceptions so she was blessed by nature.
Yes, I was SA’d by my adoptive father and adoptive brother who was 7 years older than me. I’m just glad I didn’t get pregnant. I’m sorry you went through this! Way too many of us have went through this traumatic experience.
I know a family whose story went something like this: woman can’t have babies, they were looking into adoption. Man cheats, side piece gets pregnant but wanted nothing to do with the kid. Man & Wife agree to raise the kid as their own… 2 years later, they sought out side piece. Paid her to have another baby. She agreed (at a cost) and also turned over that baby. Kids are full sibling, but unrelated to their mom. Idk if I could raise an affair baby and “buy” a second one 😱😱 such a mess
This sounds almost like a surrogate mom situation.
@@ChristmasCarolyn at face value, maybe, The cheating, the lying, the desperation of the wife willing to raise the baby.. I don't pry too much because it's awkward and we are relatives, not besties lol but I often wonder if she only stayed with her husband because she was afraid he might take the baby? IDK, I could not forgive my husband for an affair with a baby, and buying off another baby.
My wife is a psych Dr and she says that incest between bio parents and children that have put up for adoption is extremely high if they meet up later in life ( yes with the info that they're related) and that's why they should/need to go through extensive therapy to stop the inbreeding. It's like EXTREMELY high in percentage that it happens and it goes both ways fathers are mothers both do it. It even happens between siblings that were adopted separately and meet later in life.
This is probably the weirdest thing I've ever learned from her.....
Yep, it's called genetic sexual attraction.
What the hell, nature? Why was this necessary?
I wonder if there's research done for such family dynamics because this has such profound impact on people involved. This is too messy and needs quality prevention! 😢
@@ChristmasCarolyn There is, it actually has a specific name, it's usually referred to as "the Oedipus complex" or (in this case) the "Electra complex" would be a more fitting term, it's for girls attracted to their father. It was already known in the time of ancient Greece and was repopularized because of Sigmund Freud. It's rather interesting.
People need to stop giving away affair/incest babies to adoption!
Okay but grown adult males who are in a marriage should know how to control themselves…
I feel like I have to do a DNA test because my dad is adopted and I’m terrified of being in any way related to my partner. I also would rather know medical records on my dad’s side for my own sanity
My god, i could not imagine being 16 and getting pregnant from “outercourse”. I am so glad her parents were so supportive.
I didn't even know that you could become pregnant from "outercourse"! You'd think that would be covered in 6th grade.
@@LittleGreenCar514 I didn’t either! If that happened to me at that age my whole universe would’ve been shattered. Truly truly mind blowing. Unless he finished on her, close to *her* or something & isn’t quite what I’m thinking of. I’m thinking dry humping (for some reason this is an uncomfy word😂) maybe they did that naked?? I I have no idea it’s just crazy🫨
@@0MagesticEmu The only thing that I can imagine is that they were both naked, some got on her labia and she went to wipe it off in the bathroom but got it in her vagina??? Like, I have some medical background, and I'm confused.
Everything that happens in the dark WILL find its way into the light……PERIOD
Of course you can get pregnant from outercourse. Sperm is what fertilizes an egg.
my jaw literally dropped when yall read the update for the 1st story omgg
OMG!! Story 1. How does it get WORSE after this??
I'm curious about taking a DNA test, but I'm so worried about imploding my family. I do not blame the mom for a divorce at all. 18 is way too young to find this out.
Story 1: I feel like I missed something. Like yeah dad should be in jail for that ish but I don't understand why she cut off her mom. If they're getting divorced and she had no idea what the husband did she isn't actually at fault. Maybe BCS she put the daughter up for adoption and didn't tell op?! But if I were in her situation (teen mom) I might not have told my future children either. I can't imagine being in her shows. Having to give up my first child due to life circumstances, thinking I have a life long marriage w my highschool sweetheart after that and making it work even though we're broke, then the excitement of getting to meet the daughter I had to give up only to have her disappear with no explanation and the pain of loosing her twice and not knowing why, then to find out that my husband cheated on me with our bio daughter AND having to tell my other daughter that I even considered adoption with her, divorce, and then loosing that daughter too would just be too much for me to deal with. I feel so bad for her!!!
Yea the mom isn't at fault but I can understand why she wants to distant herself from her too she did state "it's best for my sanity" maybe being around her mom reminds her of everything
I'm really happy to hear the update to the 2nd story because I've heard that story a few times but never when OP reveals everything to his wife
Same. I've heard the story before but never that he told her.
Second story is so wholesome TBH.
Love your longer episodes. You two really are the funniest on here
😭😭😭
Story 1: I would feel like I would have to tell people because their family member is a predator of older children. They need to know to warn their kids.
It's an awfully big secret to keep anyway. Something like that will come out as more and more parts of the family do DNA tests because they would see the oddities in the percentages too. You are right though, the adults in the very least need to know because of being wary of him.
YES 💯 agreed 👍🏻
Story 1: The dad is just flat out disgusting and deserves jailtime for it and AY deserves compensation for the pain she went through, because of his actions. And I guess if you have to disclose insane information like that, do it together with a therapist :S I don't think anyone would take that well, let alone an 18y old. I'm totally on board with not talking to the dad ever again, but why cut out the mom if she did not know and divorces him, because of it? Not sure I get that part of it.
Omg I know weird stories. Story 3 happened to my cousin she was 15 and boyfriend 16 My aunt made them get married. They had 2 more kids but ultimately ended things... but yes, it does happen.
Imagine being so fertile, you get pregnant/get someone pregnant without even going all the way. New fear unlocked.
Lol. I exsist because of outtercourse. My mom was 13 1/2 and she jokes that the doctor had to "pop her cherry". She teases that I was her "science experiment gone wrong". 😂 My dad used to just roll his eyes at her.
I can! It happened to me.
My great aunt got pregnant like that. In the right conditions swimmers sure can swim
The 4th(?) story where OP's wife just continually and *openly* cheated on her husband and then had the gall to get upset when OP finally decided to officially end the marriage just blows my mind.
Maybe she fooled herself into he was okay with this kind of open relationship
And since she violated the prenup first it doesn't voids it and make sure she can't get anything.
Shitting crying throwing up if I was OP in the first story. Also, I would never allow my kids around that man.
I do feel for the mother in story 1, she is dealing with all that info and going through a divorce& then OP cuts her off too. Hope she’s not completely alone in the aftermath.
Yeah, she didn't do anything wrong. It's the father! And he should be on a list somewhere.
I’m confused by why OP’s Mom was cut off. She gave her child and her SOB of a husband had an ew relationship with child behind her back. But everyone is punishing her too.
It's for hiding the information about the 38y sister, I guess
Yeah for story 2, I really feel like if you are adopted or have been in an orphanage/fostered and you don’t have any information about your family history or any one you might be related to, it’d be best to get dna tested to make sure you don’t pair up with any family members and also so that none of the potential children have to deal with any risks or complications…
In regards to the first story, this happened to a former friend of mine. The trauma of being SA by her own father was bad enough but to find out she was actually the result of this man’s SA of his mentally challenged daughter broke her. I don’t think that this is information that any human being can ever process. Some may say that a person has a right to know, however the cost of that knowledge will destroy most people. I miss my friend the knowledge that her father was also her grandfather broke her into a person I could not recognize. She was able to hold it together long enough to put him in jail but after that she fell apart. The person she was before would never have abandoned her children or fallen into drugs and selling her body. The truth does not always set you free, it can brake a person’s soul.
I love that we're getting longer videos now
you deserve it
I watched a true crime video before where they mentioned how there's an actual condition or something that causes people to be attracted to their offspring/parent when a grown child finds their biological parents that they never met. I can't think of the name of it, and I'm not googling it because it looks crazy lol but there's been cases documented where the same thing happened with a father and their daughter after they got reunited. Crazy stuff.
Genetic sexual attraction
My BFFs mom and three sisters found out none of them have the same father. And their parents were married over 50 years until their dad passed (he is not the bio father to any of them). Their mother is in her 80s in nursing home and none of them have asked her about it. They are just quietly reaching out to their respective birth father's/families. It's wild.
That went from MOST INTENSE to Least intense, for sure!
DNA unearthed family secrets involving affairs, affair children incest and attempted murder. My mom never said anything and was forced to tell me when a cousin that I didn’t know existed told me the whole story. Basically, my mom grew up in a small town and my grandfather would do extracurricular activities on my grandmother. He didn’t discriminate and that included his own family. Babies were created. All the other stuff I can’t get into cause it’s not my story to tell but I can say it was gruesome and violent. Thanks 23andme.
My mom did a DNA test on ancestry almost 6 years ago. She was contacted by a young man from her home town because they matched. He asked if she knew where he fit in the family. His father didn't know his father and his grandmother was tight lipped. A few months later the DNA became more refined and it said my mom was possibly a great aunt or 2nd cousin. My mom has 2 brothers and a sister. She knew he wasn't my aunt's grandson and when his dad was born one of her brother's was out of the country leaving only one possibility. She asked my uncle about it and he said he did get a girl pregnant while in the military but his co said he'd "handle" it. The young man asked his grandmother about my uncle and she came clean. She told him that my grandmother showed up at the hospital with a gift for the baby and to beg her to give up my cousin for adoption. His grandmother declined. I met my uncle's son after my grandmother's funeral. He's a spitting image of my uncle who passed away without meeting his son, but unknowingly met his grandson. The young man who contacted my mother has been accepted in our family but my uncle didn't believe it was true. He had multiple cancers and needed hospice care. We had a lift chair in storage and my sister offered to drive it up to him in Oregon. On the way through the young man's town, she picked him up and brought him with her. He met his grandpa before he died. Then at my grandma's funeral, his sons met their half brother. To this day we are still really close with them. DNA filled in the missing pieces
Story 1: I was thinking that the mom had a twin that she either wasnt aware of or that OP wasn't aware of and that OPs father got OPs Moms twin pregnant. I'm so sad I was wrong....
Stories like the 3rd one are why, when I have kids, I plan to have proper, age appropriate anatomy lessons when they’re old enough to under (likely before they start day care or elementary school, in case they get a teacher with bad intentions) and re-explaining every year in slightly more advanced terms. That way they don’t feel weird talking with me and other trusted adults about health/anatomy issues and they learn anatomy and reproductive health in a way that’s not uncomfortable or off putting.
I'm just glad OPs mom was cool about it and knowledgeable herself. Many parents wouldn't believe either of them because of an incredible lack of education among adults. I told my dad my blood type once and because it's not the exact same as his, he thought that meant I wasn't his kid🙄😒. I could see the rage bubbling, so I had to quickly explain how blood type wasn't the same as DNA.
@@chocolatte522 I once overheard my mom admit to a friend that she “just didn’t want to talk about it” when asked why she left The Talk uptown the school and Girl Scouts to explain. There are reproductive health issues that run in my family that didn’t get explained to me until I was and adult! I thought periods were just SUPPOSED to be painful and unpredictable!
@alexismyers6053 omg same with the periods!! And my mother's a physical therapist!!! Kind of had me fretting now, like have I told my daughter enough?? Did I leave out anything????? What doesn't she know!!!! 😂😂😂
@@chocolatte522 yeah, my plans for when I have anatomy lessons with my future-hypothetical kids is to have those talks with a child therapist so they can help me explain things in a way that is age appropriate and comprehensible for the little brains. It would start with just learning the right names for different parts of the body and explaining what they do for kids and a child friendly good touch, bad touch talk. But once a year, we’d revisit to explain things just a little bit more and gradually work our way up to puberty talk.
I knew exactly what the issue was going to be as soon as they said “full sister” it’s disgusting. The father should be in jail
All of these stories are convincing me that 23 and me should really only be used by people who’s families are already openly screwed up
OKOP The DNA test determines that YOU are indeed the FATHER...of great long compilations videos! 🎉
Big video daddies 😎
I was adopted 48 years ago at 9 weeks old. I took the test to help me find medical issues in my biological family as I have health issues. This was a cheaper way. Being born in DC I would have to go to court to open my birth certificate and then the court would have to go to my biological parents and get the medical information.
I was also afraid I would end up dating a relative as I live near where i was adopted and my bio parents lived. (Years before DNA tests).
It’s terrifying how many siblings and half siblings end up unknowingly married or in relationship. One instance is insane, multiple like I’ve heard on Reddit/RUclips is mind boggling. Like of all the fish in the sea you find just so happen to end up with one from your own home pond… wtf?
I heard in one documentary that it's actually a common thing that when siblings or parents and kids who grew separate (adopted) when they meet as grownups can have a high likelihood to develop a sexual attraction. They said that there is even a term for that. Supposedly they see themselves in other person and it increases sexual attraction towards that person.
Maybe it's some kind of deep desire to connect with someone you never had the chance to develop a relationship with, but it becomes twisted.
Story 1: Since Ay was seeking her family medical history through DNA, the fact the family tree didn't fork would be incredibly important as the lack of branches can magnify any/all medical conditions such as mental illness. Dad most definitely needs to be under a prison for what he did....
When I had a DNA test my MIL does geneology and told me it was a "waste" of money. I told her there were many reasons people don't tell the truth. DNA doesn't lie. That being said, the truth is not for everyone. Consequently, MIL cousin took the 23 and me and found out he wasn't her cousin. Affair baby raised, resented and sespected by the husband. He's in his 70's no one to answer any questions about who the male donor was. MIL has now had a DNA test.
Great video as always ❤❤❤
We appreciate you!
You are far more likely to get a false negative pregnancy test than a false positive. False positives are hard because the test would have to be detecting something that would mimic HCG. That's not easy to do.
I remember a Scrubs episode where JD got Elizabeth Banks pregnant.
Truth is imperative. Hurtful, sad, but it's extremely important....intent of others reflects in our own lives whether we know it or not consciously, people also must be held accountable for their actions.
When I took the DNA test as I’m adopted and it came back with my bio mothers name. This was a different name than was listed on my original adoption records with had me listed under another ladies name. This ladies children of which who had all been adopted out were identified as being my siblings on the adoption records.
Poor AY but it was crucial that she got the information because of her health issues
I'm from Iceland and it's not really supposed to be used to do that but it helps that we know just in case 😂 gotta love my country 😅 I have so many stories from here and would love to call but I can't as it is expensive 😢 love you guys ❤
The way...i covered my mouth and actually felt my heart drop and drop even more as i felt my face turn into a disgust expression when this....thing manipulated a young girl in a vulnerable moment of her life...im disgusted.
I hope he didnt have any ideas about OP..
My mom did 23&me with her sister and cousin because they suspected their parents had died with a secret. Turns out my mom’s uncle is her father so now she is half sister to her sister and half sister to her cousin.
This first story couldn't be real, please tell me it isn't real? Unbelievable. The father is a predator and would not want my young children around him because he will do it again. If he could of slept with his own daughter, he'd sleep with grandchildren. Disgusting, absolutely disgusting!
That father of the first story hurt ALL women of his family. What a scumbag.
I was born in Texas, but my mum was Australian and I've lived in Australia almost all my life. I've been back and forth a few times over my life, yet now when I've applied for a new passport, they are saying I'm not an Australian citizen and I have to apply for citizenship... so I had to get a copy of my mother's birth certificate, but she died when I was 12, there's no record of her at the hospital I was brought up being told was where she was born, and it was an adoption agency for young mothers and immigrant babies. That's where I'm up to. I'll let you know when I off myself from all this bs
as someone who has been looking for answers on 23 and me. i have none. i share 3% DNA with everyone in the tree I found so far. its been a few years of waiting. its wild to me that people are finding whole secret family's!
The thing is the DNA library is also dependent on whether your blood relatives submit their DNA for them to be found. You can try your luck with other DNA libraries instead of just 23andme.
Been 5 years on Ancestry & 23&me with only second+ cousins coming up but not a surprise as my father was an only & my mother had a childless brother. Guess what? Last week I got a message from a 42 year old woman asking how we are related & looked I saw we are 1922cM shared. That makes her a half sister, grandaughter or niece according to Ancestry. I am 74, my father died in 1962 so big mystery & I hope she wants to meet up. I have a brother but he lived nowhere near where her mother has.
9:20. Absolutely disgusting that he had a child with his OWN child!!!!!!!!! That is horrible. I wonder if it was willing on the daughter's side. My mother gave up a her baby she had with her father but that was SA
I would never allow my kids to see that father
I was genuinely surprised that I didn't find any siblings in my DNA report.
But if they're anything like my dad was, they have other things to spend their money on.
DNA testing is such a double edged sword. 23andMe and other companies like this I feel Ok with since they are voluntary. However, with these types of stories on the internet, I’ve seen so many stories that would have been prevented with DNA tests. For example: Paternity tests at childbirth, DNA tests before marriage, etc. On the other side, I also know DNA tests once taken are very invasive and this information can get into the wrong hands. This is one reason I haven’t done a DNA test (like 23) personally.
My grandpa thought all of his kids passed away until my cousin took a dna test. Then my grandpa was able to reunite with his daughter that he signed away custody for (it was what he thought was best for her) and another daughter he didn't even know he had. It was amazing to see the joy he got when he realized he had two daughters who have been looking for him for decades.
This was one of the best episodes I have watched in a while! Love the show!
Did I miss a party of story #1? At the end OP said they're never seeing their parents again because of what they did. But I thought their mom didn't know. They even said mom was distracted with her own father's illness. Did I space out through that part?
Last story, F the internet! If you love each other, it's up to you to give it a shot! Screw anyone who things there's an issue with dating ex's family. (F cheaters!)
I have been going through a rough time and your videos have really helped me distract myself. Thank you for making such awesome videos!
Love the extra long episode!!! ❤ these stories are insane. The kidney one… 😮
My dad has an adopted first cousin who only started looking for his bio family a few years ago under the pressure of his wife. He found his bio maternal aunt and bio half siblings. His bio mom died years before and he found out the secret about his parentage: he was related to his bio mom through his bio dad also. 😱
With the first story i understand not wanting to disclose that information to A but she unfortunately really needed to know, especially since she went on 23 and me to get ahead of her health concerns. I feel like she needed to know since having funky genes due to inc*st can cause soooo many problems.
DNA test's are not family destroyers - cheaters are. DNA test's should be mandatory and falsifying it should put offenders behind bars (to lessen the chance of corruption).
Re “sibling spouses:”
This is why I specifically only ever dated women who were ethnically/racially different than me.
Not interested in passing on recessive genes.
That 3rd story was a rollercoaster, I'm glad it worked out. Those poor kids 😢
The first girl deserved to know, the incest is probably why she has health issues and she needs to tell her doctor ASAP. The reason incest is bad (besides the morality) is that with an incest baby chances for hereditary diseases are much higher since there's a good chance both the dad and the mom share a "bad" gene. So even if both the parents are healthy the kid may get sick.
The first story is absolutely gross. I feel so bad for OP and A
Ouch for that 1st story. She was looking for medical history bc of having medical problems and do did need to know as horrible as it is but at least she's getting help with coping now
That first story. Wow the Dad is a real piece of crap. He should’ve never been allowed near any of his children. After that the man deserves to be in prison for what he did to have sex with his own daughter I don’t care if he didn’t raise her that’s still his daughter, and he intellectually knew that, and she was so desperate for Dad’s love he took advantage of her and he’s a real piece of shit
I have two half siblings. It's actually very common for half siblings to show up as possibly cousins because of how genetics work. For example my half brother is a 23% match. Our first cousin is a 25% match for both of us.
I don’t understand why OP of the first story is no contact with her mother, the mother was not at fault, she didn’t know as I understand? And when she found out she divorced the dad or not?
Story 1: she has to know because the genetic baggage is too bad to not know about, with good therapy the emotional baggage can be worked through
There was probably a better way of telling though in hindsight. Meet and organise some family counseling maybe. But it’s always easier to see these things if you are outside looking in
That's the only reason why I had my DNA tested because I don't know who I'm related to Mom Mom was a drug addict and my father never knew about me so I never knew either side of my family
When one of my best friends was pregnant with her son, her sister was going through the ordination process for genomination. They uncover everything in their investigation into people's pasts. With that in mind and to lay everything out, the sister divulged hat she had been a victim of incest. Her sister, who was also our RA at Bible college/seminary and a friend of mine, was her mother. She also has a full blooded brother. This was about thirty years ago. As you can imagine this blew her world wide open, ESPECIALLY while pregnant herself...before internet or cheap LD communication. They have managed to have a good relationship. After her grandmother died, she even had her biological mother put on her birth certificate. It's all very sad. Her mother never married and ate herself into extreme obesity (true ED, BED). They are the nicest people. It's horrible what happened to them.
First Story, ICU 😨
I just read about a similar case of the bio dad and the daughter he gave up for adoption. Daughter had a baby and when he turned 8 mo, was given to bio dad's mother because bio dad was charged with "intermingling" Bio dad's daughter returned to her adoptive parents and wanted nothing to do with bio dad, he went to his mother's house, picked up his baby and killed him. He headed to his daughter's adoptive parents house and killed her and her adoptive dad. Then killed himself.
Crazy sad world!!
I know a family that the dad would sleep with all his daughters and ended up empregnating an adopted one and after some years he ended up with his own step daughter and had a bunch of kids... and the mom/wife was the nanny of all those children.... that's not all, two of the man's adult kids also had a relationship, thankfully they didn't have any kids together and ended up separating after many years. But that family acts like it's all normal idk behind close doors. The dad eventually got killed by the cops right in front of his younger kids since he was a big Dr$#% mover.
Also the DNA percentages kind of screw everything up I had a hit with a half brother that ended up being my nephew
I am adopted and found a second cousin through 23 & me. I have always wondered about my birth family. The problem is, the second cousin I found was ALSO adopted. That raised a lot of questions for me. I hired a private investigator in the country I was adopted from and he did some digging. He was able to find a death certificate for my birth mother which was very sad. But worse, he managed to find some of my other family members. They were not interested in talking to him and with good reason. One family member finally came forward and said that there was a lot of shame surrounding my biological father. The PI pushed them for more but they were very vague. From what he gathered, it was heavily insinuated that my biological father was actually someone in a paternal role to my bio mother, possibly an uncle or even her own father.
I actually threw up when I got off the phone with the PI. I went through a heavy, heavy period of feeling disgusting. Not with myself emotionally, but as a damaged organism, like down to my DNA. I have a lot of health issues as well and now it makes a lot of sense.
Nothing is confirmed and honestly it never will be, but sometimes what isn’t said is the loudest. I wish I hadn’t started digging and now I wonder if my bio father had other victims as well, ie the second cousin from 23 & me who was also adopted.
I’ve come a long way from that though and now I feel more like myself again. My biology is just who I am in this life, not what my soul is. My life now is very good and I’m thankful every day that I was placed into a family that gave me every opportunity that my bio mom had wanted for me. I was loved by her immensely, I can feel that in my soul. I know that she didn’t want to give me up but she is ultimately glad that she did. Don’t ask me how I know that, I just do. I can feel it.
In regards to the first story. I really feel for A, like holy shit. In contrast I grew up knowing that my uncle on my fathers side, married their first cousin. It was open information within the family, I'm not sure how it originally panned out when they got together and announced it to the family however they're similar aged and have a very loving and healthy relationship to this day. This helped me to learn that sometimes you can't help who you fall in love with (translates excellently into being an LGBTQIA+ ally!) but cousins is one thing... Parents and children/siblings are a whole other kettle of fish... Like fuck.
Hope A is doing better!
Story #1 - That father is horrible, but why is OP mad at her mom? I feel like I missed something.
I think I would have reached out to A and asked her to talk first. That maybe would have a lessened the mental anguish hearing it from OP in person and knowing that she is not alone.
23&me is the reason my sister was proven to be my sister. I'm grateful for it. I was told about her when I was 13 and she was 23. Her mom has passed away and she was trying to find her dad. They hadn't met. He left her mom when my sister was born. He admitted and denied her to me at the same time. When she did 23&me she matched with my dad's little sister. I was now 39 and she was 49. I confronted my dad. I told him her entire life and he needed to fix this. He shut down for the next 3 weeks so she and I made plans to meet. One of our brothers flew in to meet her too. This is when I found out that I was the only one of us kids that grew up with (4 of us) our dad. They even flew me out to meet her the first time when I was 19 so I don't know how they didn't know. When she came to see me she got to meet our dad for the first time. My mom being the bitch she is blurted out we wanted a DNA test. She agreed and it came back 3 days later 99.9999999% confirmed she is his daughter. She and I have a close relationship now and everyone will be at my house for Christmas 💜 they don't always end badly.
I can't believe she isn't being a support for her mom. Imagine finding out your husband had done that. As for A I feel like I would feel just utter disgust initially for myself. Which isn't fair but I would seek genetic counseling and a therapist to come to terms with it and get ahead of any issues with myself or potential children. I do not think I would stay in contact with any family I had found and I'd do whatever I needed to remove myself from the 23 and me site.
Here is the thing with the first OP, I think she made the right call when telling her sister/niece about her conception. The young girl was having health issues and needed information about possible medical history and the circumstances of her conception could be medically relevant.
OK. My parents both look white. I never met my paternal grandmother. She died before I was born. Everyone else looks lily white. I did several DNA tests looking for my bio dad or relatives to get medical information. I came out looking Native American and it was assumed by all that I was my Dad's best buddy's kid. He was enough Cherokee to look full blood. He was a rodeo Cowboy. My dad never accepted me and mom changed her tune often. I was Jim's kid and then Harold's and back again. I never realized that I grew to resemble my paternal grandmother. My mom detested her. First few months it looked like Jim was indeed my father as his grandmother showed up in a matching tree or two. Turns out my mother is related to him. However, eventually a nephew of Dad tested and we are a close match. Really close. No doubt about it Harold is the Father. I had to be a month early. Since, fathering a child from clear across the country is impossible. Or at least was in 1959. My lung issues now make sense and being on the low side of normal as to weight. Me looking like a Native American baby, well DNA as to features and skin color can skip a lot of generations. Not only do I have a lot of brown and black folks in that tree, but in some parts it doesn't branch much, if at all. They intertwine a lot on both sides. Poppa Jim will always be the father of my heart, though he was rarely around, he accepted me and loved me. My Dad was an idiot and didn't know his own family tree and ancestry going back to colonial times and his own mixed heritage. It is a heritage to be proud of. Famous people of all colors and origin populate the tree. So what if we nor I can call ourselves white folks and be truthful. No shame. Funny my grandma on my mother's side claimed to be related to a famous Frenchman. Not. We do have some French ancestry, Creole from Louisiana. Oh the stories I grew up with that DNA proved to be totally fictional. If you do do DNA especially with CRI, be prepared for the results to be mind blowing. Then test with Ancestry or similar for the research tools. Share with others. You might find kinfolk at your job. I did and it verified things I thought had to be bogus. They are not.
Even sicked then I thought. OMG.!!
I share more DNA with my cousins than I do with my half brothers. Let me explain. My mom and her sister have the same mother and father. My bio father and my uncle (my bio father’s half brother) have the same mother but have different dads. My mother hooked up with my bio father and my aunt married my bio father’s brother. And I was conceived from their hook up but they did not want to be together. My mom eventually got married and had my brothers fathered by my step dad.
My aunt and uncle had 3 kids from their marriage.
So I am related to my cousins more because I am related to them by both sides of the family. In a DNA test they would probably be considered my siblings.
Can you imagine introducing Ay to OP's mum as Grandma and OP's dad as Gran-*daddy* 😵💫
Ohhh my god. That first story. Wow. Can’t even with people sometimes lol.
This video should have a trigger warning about suicide, incest, etc. I'm curious to hear the rest of the stories but after that first one I think I better stop here for today.
Honestly it's not 23 and me that destroyed anything its the parents
Brings a WHOLE new definition to the term "Nibbling"
Why the hell is the mother still married to the father in the first story 🤬
Oooooh... this was a good one! Great job guys!! I love listening to ya's!!❤❤