When it comes to the first story, my question is, if it's normal to sleep with other people while in a long distance relationship, then why didn't she say, "so how many people you've been with while we were apart?" Or telling him at the time that "hey, I'm sleeping with other people, you should too". And why if it's not a big deal, why did she try to shoosh her friend when the subject came up. If you truly believe that you didn't do anything wrong, then why try to hide it at all. She knew she fucked up, and now trying to gas light him to make herself a victim instead of the perpetrator.
Now I understand why he wants to divorce her because of the fact that she's blowing it off because he said he would do counseling with her but she won't even acknowledge her fault. That's a whole different level then there's something that happened 20 years ago, especially if there's been fidelity within the relationship for that 20 years.
I agree, there’s a difference between “it’s common” and “it’s normal”. If you’re in a relationship with established boundaries, cheating is never okay. Im curious if OP’s wife is the only person he’s ever been with. I’m also curious if they ever had a conversation about seeing anyone else while long distance, but it sounds like it was strongly expected on his side that they were both loyal and committed to each other.
My childhood best friend shot his shot when I got engaged. I immediately told him he was like a brother to me and the man I was about to marry was my person. He and his family still came to my wedding reception since the whole family was family friends. He ignored my husband and tried to spend the time in the reception line reminiscing about when we were four and said we were going to marry each other. I told him that I was so happy I found my person and couldn’t wait for him to meet his. He got the message and left the line. We haven’t spoken since except when his mom passed away and I sent my condolences. It has been twelve years and he still hasn’t found his person. I truly hope he does. He deserves happiness, just not with me.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one that ask for clarification on what ppl mean when they say "Several"...idk why, but when ppl say "several, I assume "seven", or close to that💀😭😭. However, when you said, "Few, means Two (2)"...y'all lost me! I always go by "couple = 2" and a "Few = 3"? 😅. Ik its random, but lowkey thrown me for a loop! 😂 All jokes aside, y'all are a VIBE, and I'm ADDICTED to #OKOP, since finding y'all on accident!🙌🏽❤❤❤
As to the first story about going to therapy for coparenting, my parents didn’t need that when they got divorced I was also 17 turning 18 as a young adult. But I have actually met a lot of people whose parents had to go through that to make sure their kids followed the rules. My parents standpoint never changed when they got divorce on how to raise me and my brother. Even though my brother was an adult time. But, even when they were going through hard times, they did go to therapy to figure out how to explain, or parent us through a massive death in the family, when me and my brother were younger. I don’t think going to therapy for just coparenting when divorced or not even as a couple should just be for that. It helped my parents go through explaining my grandma will not come back. Even when my bio dad passed away they went to a therapist to explain how to parent and tell us. It will help in all aspects. Even being able to be a parent as a couple.
42:22 please, all of you have to tell Riley 2 things: 1. there is a youtube challe whose name is "cinema therapy" where they analyze the "notebook" movie from the psychological prospetcive, if he wants to know (great channel, i recomend you all); 2. there is a book by Paulo Coelho, whose title is "11 minutes" that talks entirely about sex and its implications. This are my suggestions for Riley, but for you all. An auntie hug by me. Love you guys (Sophia included)
The last story: why didn't OP just mention to her BF that her friend has seen him out with another woman? You know, be a freaking adult and ask a question. Instead, she decided to go through his phone. That wasn't an accident. She got up and invaded his privacy. She went through text conversations with multiple people. Regarding the BF not telling OP about his late husband, I don't think the BF saw their relationship in the same as OP did. To him, I think the relationship with OP was a lot more casual than it was to her. He was taking more than 1 day off work and she didn't know. It's obvious that the BF is STILL in love with his late husband even though Jay has been gone for 5 years. He still texts him so he's still paying for Jay's phone. Since he lost Jay is a pretty horrible way, I think the BF holds him in a 'sacred' place and doesn't share him with people.
Last story... The boyfriend is definitely a red flag to literally say nothing about a dead husband. That's huge history to omit. OP should have asked and not accused but honestly I think the boyfriend was more of a red flag.
Totally agree with Sophia on losing a lot of respect for family members who cheated. I had already been losing some respect for this uncle (he thought he was super alpha, thought he was way more masculine than my dad--who doesn't even care about stuff like that--, blah blah), but when I learned that he cheated on my aunt--an aunt that I didn't even really like that much, vs him, the man who was my FAVORITE uncle as a young child--i lost all respect for him. He did it with multiple important-to-her women, too. Her best friend, her neighbor. I don't blame him for being done with the relationship. I do blame him for being scummy enough to cheat and carry on affairs. They also have 2 teen daughters who I'm sure internalized that their dad did something like that and may value themselves less in relationships.
OMG! LOL! Riley's shooting the shot is how my hubby and i got together. My hubby was a newer friend who saw that i was in a poor relationship, he shot his shot then backed off, completely, i broke up with the shitty bf sometime later, had my rebound relationship, and then around a year after the convo, my hubby swooped back in. Nearly 15 years later, with a 12 yr old son, and I'd say shooting your shot can work, but if not, it will at least leave you with no regrets or what ifs....
RILEY USED MY GOALIE QUOTE!!! 😂😂 I have a bf and we set boundaries for cheating at the start of the relationship. We both think flirting is fine to a degree but any kind of romantic touching is crossing that flirtation line but I understand everyone is different. Especially today's dating culture 🙄
33:25 That mid section with Sophia and John trying to educate Riley on the fact that bdsm is NOT pegging like he thought, but with vague awkward terms because of RUclips age restriction, reminds me of two parents trying to explain to their small child something the kid asked but it's too inappropriate for their age 😂
Riley. Im gonna tell you rignt now, you dont want to be with someone that fell in love with you while they were with someone else. You will lose them the same way you got them
Right?? I'm sitting here wondering why cheating is so accepted just because it's "common". It's common _because_ it's accepted, not the other way around. Wild.
Last story - He hid a whole marriage, hid the info that he was taking time off, lied about the reason, lied about going out. In this situation, it wasn't on her.
Now that it's been mentioned that you need to interview a polyamorous person/couple, I vote ya'll do an episode with a BDSM expert (if anything to provide sweet baby Riley with some education 😅)
I have done several long-distance relationships. Seeing other people or sleeping with other people was out of the question. If you can’t be without physical intimacy for a long periods of time, then long-distance relationship isn’t for you.
In my opinion the relationship ended when she cheated he just didn’t know for 20 years. Like had he known he’d probably have walked away then, and even if he would’ve stayed had they talked it out she took that option away and effectively made him into a tool rather than a partner at that point.
I equated to deployment as well. I was in Iraq for a year, and neither of us cheated during that time. Yes, soldiers can have an opportunity while deployed. My wife had even told me to take the opportunity if it came up, she initiated that subject. What got me through the deployment was thinking about returning to my wife, and cheating didn’t fit into that. I wrote her letters frequently to stay connected. When I came home and said I didn’t have intimate relations, I stayed faithful, she said “Good, I would have been really hurt if you did”! Another head scratching woman behavior. Others do cheat on deployment, I’ve seen a lot of it. And I’m not aware of anyone that thinks it’s normal, they know it’s cheating.
It IS ABSOLUTELY OKAY TO SLEEP AROUND DURING LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS...... as long as it was discussed and agreed upon beforehand. What she did was unacceptable
He clearly said they were his kids no matter what and he would never do a test unless they ask for it. They're also basically adults. I think that speaks highly of his character. Not everyone needs to know after spending so much time with kids who are yours, blood or not.
I come in contact with a lot of young people, teenagers and young adults. 99% of them are immoral and are OK with cheating and hiding and lying to their partners. I love that your group is so morally competent and healthy minded when it comes to relationships.
If it were “no big deal” she wouldn’t have kept it secret. She knows she was and is in the wrong. The fact that she has no issue with lying is a deal breaker.
I wonder if woman in story 1 introduced/described her boyfriend to her friends/sex friends as "her high-school sweetheart" when she was in college to avoid labeling him as a boyfriend.
No, it was made clear in the story that her friends thought they didn’t get together until after college. That’s why her roommate asked if he was wild in college like his wife was.
To the OP-Silly-call in: I am a divorced single mom (Europe), could not give you legal advice, due to different laws, but I dare say, most of all you need a strong support-system. Family/Friends that you can call upon. You sounded so strong and collected, and I admire that, but remember, you are human, too. Try to get someone trustworthy to babysit and go out with 1-2friends, no need to get crazy and smashed, but do something for you every now and then. You deserve to be loved, love yourself and be respected, that man lost out and surely does not deserve a second chance. All woman-power to you! You are stronger then you know you are!!!
My husband and I have been married for 28 years we started dating when I was in high school. So we’ve been together over 30 years. I feel like the relationship wasn’t that great if it’s worth him throwing away 20 years over something she did when they were dating, they weren’t even engaged. I think it would be good for them to go to therapy. If you tell the kids that she cheated, make sure they know it was when they were dating and she wasn’t unfaithful while they were married.
Only it looks like she “was” cheating during their marriage. She dated a coworker, and she cut sex down to once every 2-3 months for two years. They had previously been at 2-3 times a week. In the end it wasn’t the cheating 20 years ago that ended the marriage, it was her not coming clean and owning her behavior. She didn’t present a situation that he could move on in.
This was before their marriage or was this during their marriage?? If she hasn't been unfaithful during the entire time of their marriage, then I think that something that happened 20 years ago while it was a violation of their relationship should not in their marriage of 20 years.
The ten plus guys was before their marriage, during their exclusive relationship, while they were spending two weekends together per month. That might have been acceptable to the husband if she disclosed it prior to marriage, she violated his trust keeping that secret. Plus she admitted dating a coworker, and he suspects when she didn’t want sex from her husband that she was getting it elsewhere. It’s a huge red flag, what else is she hiding/lying about? Plus not telling her college friends she’s in a relationship shows intent to cheat from the get go. In the end the relationship ended because she wouldn’t spill the beans and own her behavior, not because of what happened twenty years before. Rightfully so.
ETA: I really like the idea of therapy to help with coparenting. My ex and I coparented well together for a long time. Now the kids are old enough, have schedules for school, work, friends and family time. My ex and I have zero reason to talk, which is great! He’s living his best, congrats to him. My kids are happy and healthy, thriving! We did the damn thing and now we’re out! His family was our “therapy”. They all really helped both of us through the rough spots. So yes for therapy. I hope all divorcing couples with kids go this route. I love Sofia, standing up for strong women; and trying to give helpful advice for everything else. Big protein, you know we ALL love you! John- love how committed and open about being faithful with Niaema (I hope I spelled that correctly-ish) love that she and Christian are side characters that we haven’t met….yet!
I wld definitely think she even cheated during the marriage...especially since she said it was 10 or more different people she cheated with...sad story...I wish she wld have at least been a little bit remorseful... she's just a shitty person...
There was another story like this, but the difference was the now wife cheated with one person and now a church van full of people. I kind of agree with what that OP did. He gave her a chance to redo things. They'd date again and he would at least have full knowledge of everything before they got married again. I do believe they ended up marrying again, because she worked very hard to help him get past it and be a decent girlfriend. She fully admitted she screwed up, didn't cut the friend that spilled the beans and took full responsibility for her actions.
Well, it's not always good to be right unfortunately. On to the more pressing stuff. I've worked in death and I can see how OP's boyfriend wouldn't really want to bring this up to them just yet. Especially given the way in which the death occurred. It's really hard for most people not to take it personally to some degree when someone very close to them ends their life prematurely. There are so many questions that need to be addressed here that we unfortunately don't have the answers to now. Is this the boyfriend's first relationship since the husband passed? Has he ever received any kind of help for it? Are there other details that made it particularly horrific for the boyfriend beyond losing the husband? Such as having been the person to find him? It's quite unfortunate that this is how OP found out. And I can definitely understand why they thought about what they did when they saw all of this. I think most anyone would have had the same thoughts if they didn't know all of the background information. All in all, I don't think anyone is an a-hole here. Just a really tragic set of circumstances that unfortunately, these two have found themselves tangled in. I wish them all the best and hope they can find a way to work this out.
I’m in a long term relationship and, if I seen or heard about this happening . I would thing that if the other person in a relationship and, they even thought about liking someone other than the other person then never truly wanted to relationship… if it was so easy to think about the possibility of a relationship with someone other than the one their are already with.
First story: I think it's ok to sleep with other people in a long distance relationship ONLY if both are ok and open about it. Not in secret as the wife did...
Ok, as for the amounts of things in our terminology: a couple is 2. As in a romantic couple = two people. A few is generally 3 to 4. Several is more vague with anything from 4 to 10. If memory serves, multiple is over a dozen, which is 12. All of this because Sarah called a few 2, lol!😂😂😂
A marriage is a legally binding contract. When you marry someone while hiding something so big then you are entering that contract under false pretenses while deceiving the other party. Any other contract would be considered null and void and this one shouldn't be any different. This is a life long commitment with someone who has lied to you for over 20 years. It's not something you can just overlook and would cause you to question everything else for the rest of that relationship which would lead to resentment and insecurity.
I want the wives side of the story. I’m sorry. I’ve been married 28 years. He said in the beginning of the story that his marriage was great. Then, every time he updated, she was worse, the marriage wasn’t good. I 100% want her side too.
I've called and left a voicemail several times and I would love to chat with y'all and spill the tea ☕️🫖🍵 Love y'all and Big Protein❤!!! I listen to y'all everyday and it helps me decompress during my 1 hour commute to work, my lunch break, and my drive home. I even sometimes cook and clean listening to and laugh when y'all do the "Divorce! Divorce!" chant and the conspiracy tin foil hats (btw my parents are divorced and remarried and there is so much 🍵 ☕️🫖 !) When y'all call do you use the voicemail number? Because I want to recognize and not block it as spam. THANK YOU FOR ALL Y'ALL DO❤
If OP had taken the ice cream date to confront partner like "Hey, friend of mine sent me this photo, and is kinda freaking out. Can you help explain it to me so I can explain it to them?" No phone snoop would have been needed.
She wanted to mess around but didn’t want him to sleep with other women. Very gross what she did to her boyfriend/husband. My other half told me about a women he slept with as a teen and they ran into each other and it was very awkward for me and made me feel bad because of the looks they were giving each other while catching up. The husband is right to divorce her because there is no peace of mind after knowing what the wife did.
When it comes to the first story, my question is, if it's normal to sleep with other people while in a long distance relationship, then why didn't she say, "so how many people you've been with while we were apart?" Or telling him at the time that "hey, I'm sleeping with other people, you should too". And why if it's not a big deal, why did she try to shoosh her friend when the subject came up. If you truly believe that you didn't do anything wrong, then why try to hide it at all. She knew she fucked up, and now trying to gas light him to make herself a victim instead of the perpetrator.
She even specifically said "you better not boink anyone while we're apart or else." She knows she's a hypocrite.
OK guys you need to have THE talk with Rylie.
I was thinking the same thing 😅
Is it just me or does Riley remind you of an awkward puppy dog trying to get the big stick through the doorway or getting scared of his own hiccups?
@@redbunny22He gives "Golden Retriever/ LOST Cute Puppy Energy"😂😭❤
I LOVE Sophia's Mom face when the others are just being plain, unruly 😂
She’s amazing honestly.
AFTER 20YEARS Riley was the caps lock in that moment 😂😂😂
Chugga chugga choo choo right on past that 😂🤣😂🤣😂
Can we get a show where social taboo things are explained to Riley? It could be gold and genuinely helpful for people who grew up sheltered
YES!!!!! We need more likes on this!
Oh, Riley 😂 A whole new world has been opened for him
I feel like the longer the cheater keeps it a secret from you the more compensation you're deserving of...they ought to write this into law
Now I understand why he wants to divorce her because of the fact that she's blowing it off because he said he would do counseling with her but she won't even acknowledge her fault. That's a whole different level then there's something that happened 20 years ago, especially if there's been fidelity within the relationship for that 20 years.
Plus the marriage base on a lie
Totally agree. I thought "I get it can be hard to know but this person has been on your side for 20 years". But she did not even apologise wtf...
The education Riley is getting in this episode 😂😂 oh sweet, innocent Big Protein
That’s sweet angry teddy bear
Is it just me or does Riley remind you of an awkward puppy dog trying to get the big stick through the doorway or getting scared of his own hiccups?
@@redbunny22 that is the exact vibe
The southern accent makes it come off as more sheltered and innocent too.
Protine? Or protein ?? Lmao
I agree, there’s a difference between “it’s common” and “it’s normal”. If you’re in a relationship with established boundaries, cheating is never okay.
Im curious if OP’s wife is the only person he’s ever been with. I’m also curious if they ever had a conversation about seeing anyone else while long distance, but it sounds like it was strongly expected on his side that they were both loyal and committed to each other.
Oh man, story one, that woman was delusional.
Y’all need a PO Box I’m buying Sophia that spray bottle! Jesus Riley !!!🤦🏽♀️🤣
For me, a couple is two, a few is at least 3 and several is more than three, but yeah less than many lmfao
I do believe the ex wife is having a hard time dealing with divorce but to distract herself from it, she's going around dating.
My childhood best friend shot his shot when I got engaged. I immediately told him he was like a brother to me and the man I was about to marry was my person. He and his family still came to my wedding reception since the whole family was family friends. He ignored my husband and tried to spend the time in the reception line reminiscing about when we were four and said we were going to marry each other. I told him that I was so happy I found my person and couldn’t wait for him to meet his. He got the message and left the line. We haven’t spoken since except when his mom passed away and I sent my condolences. It has been twelve years and he still hasn’t found his person. I truly hope he does. He deserves happiness, just not with me.
Maybe he's not just a great person...
Technically a couple is 2, a few is more then 2
Sweet innocent Riley😂
John screaming, “Get Off The Train!” Had me rolling 😂😂😂😂😀
Praying for the OP caller!! 🙏🏼
I'm so glad I'm not the only one that ask for clarification on what ppl mean when they say "Several"...idk why, but when ppl say "several, I assume "seven", or close to that💀😭😭. However, when you said, "Few, means Two (2)"...y'all lost me! I always go by "couple = 2" and a "Few = 3"? 😅. Ik its random, but lowkey thrown me for a loop! 😂 All jokes aside, y'all are a VIBE, and I'm ADDICTED to #OKOP, since finding y'all on accident!🙌🏽❤❤❤
Riley had me absolutely dying in this episode with whole BDSM thing 😂😂😂 the ‘please stop’ as a safe word was killin me 😂😂
Lol😂 Riley's gasp...
As to the first story about going to therapy for coparenting, my parents didn’t need that when they got divorced I was also 17 turning 18 as a young adult. But I have actually met a lot of people whose parents had to go through that to make sure their kids followed the rules. My parents standpoint never changed when they got divorce on how to raise me and my brother. Even though my brother was an adult time.
But, even when they were going through hard times, they did go to therapy to figure out how to explain, or parent us through a massive death in the family, when me and my brother were younger. I don’t think going to therapy for just coparenting when divorced or not even as a couple should just be for that. It helped my parents go through explaining my grandma will not come back. Even when my bio dad passed away they went to a therapist to explain how to parent and tell us.
It will help in all aspects. Even being able to be a parent as a couple.
42:22 please, all of you have to tell Riley 2 things: 1. there is a youtube challe whose name is "cinema therapy" where they analyze the "notebook" movie from the psychological prospetcive, if he wants to know (great channel, i recomend you all); 2. there is a book by Paulo Coelho, whose title is "11 minutes" that talks entirely about sex and its implications. This are my suggestions for Riley, but for you all. An auntie hug by me. Love you guys (Sophia included)
A couple is 2 a few is 3 some is 4 a lil bit is 5-6 and several is 7. That's how me and my sister counted it 😂
The last story: why didn't OP just mention to her BF that her friend has seen him out with another woman? You know, be a freaking adult and ask a question. Instead, she decided to go through his phone. That wasn't an accident. She got up and invaded his privacy. She went through text conversations with multiple people.
Regarding the BF not telling OP about his late husband, I don't think the BF saw their relationship in the same as OP did. To him, I think the relationship with OP was a lot more casual than it was to her. He was taking more than 1 day off work and she didn't know. It's obvious that the BF is STILL in love with his late husband even though Jay has been gone for 5 years. He still texts him so he's still paying for Jay's phone. Since he lost Jay is a pretty horrible way, I think the BF holds him in a 'sacred' place and doesn't share him with people.
Last story... The boyfriend is definitely a red flag to literally say nothing about a dead husband. That's huge history to omit. OP should have asked and not accused but honestly I think the boyfriend was more of a red flag.
Aww bless Riley so sweet & innocent 😂
Totally agree with Sophia on losing a lot of respect for family members who cheated. I had already been losing some respect for this uncle (he thought he was super alpha, thought he was way more masculine than my dad--who doesn't even care about stuff like that--, blah blah), but when I learned that he cheated on my aunt--an aunt that I didn't even really like that much, vs him, the man who was my FAVORITE uncle as a young child--i lost all respect for him. He did it with multiple important-to-her women, too. Her best friend, her neighbor. I don't blame him for being done with the relationship. I do blame him for being scummy enough to cheat and carry on affairs. They also have 2 teen daughters who I'm sure internalized that their dad did something like that and may value themselves less in relationships.
OMG! LOL! Riley's shooting the shot is how my hubby and i got together. My hubby was a newer friend who saw that i was in a poor relationship, he shot his shot then backed off, completely, i broke up with the shitty bf sometime later, had my rebound relationship, and then around a year after the convo, my hubby swooped back in. Nearly 15 years later, with a 12 yr old son, and I'd say shooting your shot can work, but if not, it will at least leave you with no regrets or what ifs....
Riley is SOOO innocent
RILEY USED MY GOALIE QUOTE!!! 😂😂 I have a bf and we set boundaries for cheating at the start of the relationship. We both think flirting is fine to a degree but any kind of romantic touching is crossing that flirtation line but I understand everyone is different. Especially today's dating culture 🙄
Rollie, that was you? Was that about Justice? I have a vague recollection. That *is* a sweet soundbite!
@@DuchessCassanda it was 😂
33:25 That mid section with Sophia and John trying to educate Riley on the fact that bdsm is NOT pegging like he thought, but with vague awkward terms because of RUclips age restriction, reminds me of two parents trying to explain to their small child something the kid asked but it's too inappropriate for their age 😂
Riley. Im gonna tell you rignt now, you dont want to be with someone that fell in love with you while they were with someone else. You will lose them the same way you got them
Yes but you cannot prevent yourself from feeling something. Cheating however does require to act.
Who are these people saying it's 'normal' to cheat 😳 and with 10 men in 2 years?! Unhinged 😂
Right?? I'm sitting here wondering why cheating is so accepted just because it's "common". It's common _because_ it's accepted, not the other way around.
Wild.
Last story - He hid a whole marriage, hid the info that he was taking time off, lied about the reason, lied about going out. In this situation, it wasn't on her.
I hope op finds someone that deserves him, and his horrible ex hops from one guy to the next unhappy with herself
Now that it's been mentioned that you need to interview a polyamorous person/couple, I vote ya'll do an episode with a BDSM expert (if anything to provide sweet baby Riley with some education 😅)
I'm sure their are channels dedicated to the depraved.
I have done several long-distance relationships. Seeing other people or sleeping with other people was out of the question. If you can’t be without physical intimacy for a long periods of time, then long-distance relationship isn’t for you.
Waking up for some OKOP? Hell yeah!
In my opinion the relationship ended when she cheated he just didn’t know for 20 years. Like had he known he’d probably have walked away then, and even if he would’ve stayed had they talked it out she took that option away and effectively made him into a tool rather than a partner at that point.
I feel like them saying it’s “normal” is like saying it’s normal to step out on your husband while he’s deployed.
I equated to deployment as well. I was in Iraq for a year, and neither of us cheated during that time. Yes, soldiers can have an opportunity while deployed. My wife had even told me to take the opportunity if it came up, she initiated that subject. What got me through the deployment was thinking about returning to my wife, and cheating didn’t fit into that. I wrote her letters frequently to stay connected. When I came home and said I didn’t have intimate relations, I stayed faithful, she said “Good, I would have been really hurt if you did”! Another head scratching woman behavior. Others do cheat on deployment, I’ve seen a lot of it. And I’m not aware of anyone that thinks it’s normal, they know it’s cheating.
It IS ABSOLUTELY OKAY TO SLEEP AROUND DURING LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS...... as long as it was discussed and agreed upon beforehand. What she did was unacceptable
Poor Riley he is so innocent ❤
Regarding LDR, idk that sleeping around is normal, but I think there’s a maybe a higher potential for it to happen.
9:10 exactly this! 💯🎯
I love Riley’s reaction on min 19:21 too cute 😂😂😂
To the 20 year cheater story, DNA TEST THE KIDSSSS!!!!
He clearly said they were his kids no matter what and he would never do a test unless they ask for it. They're also basically adults. I think that speaks highly of his character. Not everyone needs to know after spending so much time with kids who are yours, blood or not.
That last story, the op did not need to tell us about the whole password lie, that was a guilty person giving too much info to cover their tracks.
I come in contact with a lot of young people, teenagers and young adults. 99% of them are immoral and are OK with cheating and hiding and lying to their partners.
I love that your group is so morally competent and healthy minded when it comes to relationships.
According to Sam's Rule OP has at least 17 hall passes
20 years of marriage = 5
2 kid = 2
10x cheating = 10
Oh Riley, sweet innocent Riley 😂
If it were “no big deal” she wouldn’t have kept it secret. She knows she was and is in the wrong. The fact that she has no issue with lying is a deal breaker.
For the last story, it's crazy how she had enough knowledge to access his phone, but no knowledge of his past relationship???
I wonder if woman in story 1 introduced/described her boyfriend to her friends/sex friends as "her high-school sweetheart" when she was in college to avoid labeling him as a boyfriend.
No, it was made clear in the story that her friends thought they didn’t get together until after college. That’s why her roommate asked if he was wild in college like his wife was.
Go mama that was the call in at the end. Im right there with ya and you got this. Its hard but you got it😊
as someone in a mid/long distance relationship it is NOT NORMAL to sleep around like that!!
PINEAPPLES, Riley
To the OP-Silly-call in: I am a divorced single mom (Europe), could not give you legal advice, due to different laws, but I dare say, most of all you need a strong support-system. Family/Friends that you can call upon. You sounded so strong and collected, and I admire that, but remember, you are human, too. Try to get someone trustworthy to babysit and go out with 1-2friends, no need to get crazy and smashed, but do something for you every now and then. You deserve to be loved, love yourself and be respected, that man lost out and surely does not deserve a second chance. All woman-power to you! You are stronger then you know you are!!!
Riley, I too said 7
I said 3!
I thought 7 too
@@DuchessCassanda 3 is a few to me
You guys should watch the movie Little Black Book
Idk if it's just me, but I think the inappropriate jokes are funny as shit.😅
Riley not understanding BDSM is one of the funniest things ever 😂
My husband and I have been married for 28 years we started dating when I was in high school. So we’ve been together over 30 years. I feel like the relationship wasn’t that great if it’s worth him throwing away 20 years over something she did when they were dating, they weren’t even engaged. I think it would be good for them to go to therapy. If you tell the kids that she cheated, make sure they know it was when they were dating and she wasn’t unfaithful while they were married.
So you are cool with cheating until marriage? Weird. The fact that she didn't think it was a big deal is maybe the biggest problem.
Only it looks like she “was” cheating during their marriage. She dated a coworker, and she cut sex down to once every 2-3 months for two years. They had previously been at 2-3 times a week. In the end it wasn’t the cheating 20 years ago that ended the marriage, it was her not coming clean and owning her behavior. She didn’t present a situation that he could move on in.
Also rebrand the "hall pass" into a "cling on rating" or some similar likeness
Where does riley come up with this stuff hahaha. Why did he hear bdsm and immediately think, "pegging"? 😂😂😂😂
Pegging is more “femdom”.
This was before their marriage or was this during their marriage?? If she hasn't been unfaithful during the entire time of their marriage, then I think that something that happened 20 years ago while it was a violation of their relationship should not in their marriage of 20 years.
The ten plus guys was before their marriage, during their exclusive relationship, while they were spending two weekends together per month. That might have been acceptable to the husband if she disclosed it prior to marriage, she violated his trust keeping that secret. Plus she admitted dating a coworker, and he suspects when she didn’t want sex from her husband that she was getting it elsewhere. It’s a huge red flag, what else is she hiding/lying about? Plus not telling her college friends she’s in a relationship shows intent to cheat from the get go. In the end the relationship ended because she wouldn’t spill the beans and own her behavior, not because of what happened twenty years before. Rightfully so.
ETA: I really like the idea of therapy to help with coparenting. My ex and I coparented well together for a long time. Now the kids are old enough, have schedules for school, work, friends and family time. My ex and I have zero reason to talk, which is great! He’s living his best, congrats to him. My kids are happy and healthy, thriving! We did the damn thing and now we’re out! His family was our “therapy”. They all really helped both of us through the rough spots. So yes for therapy. I hope all divorcing couples with kids go this route.
I love Sofia, standing up for strong women; and trying to give helpful advice for everything else.
Big protein, you know we ALL love you!
John- love how committed and open about being faithful with Niaema (I hope I spelled that correctly-ish) love that she and Christian are side characters that we haven’t met….yet!
he needs to pick up a book lol
Riley is such a sweet Innocent bean
The first story: wife is toxic at best, she most likely cheated throughout the marriage as well
I feel like this guy was the fallback guy or the one who she was planning on but not the "fun guy".
She accidentally remembers a password? I have a good memory with numbers if I see or hear them, BUT I'm not looking at someone enter a password, lol.
2 = a couple
3 or more = a few
I wld definitely think she even cheated during the marriage...especially since she said it was 10 or more different people she cheated with...sad story...I wish she wld have at least been a little bit remorseful... she's just a shitty person...
There was another story like this, but the difference was the now wife cheated with one person and now a church van full of people. I kind of agree with what that OP did. He gave her a chance to redo things. They'd date again and he would at least have full knowledge of everything before they got married again. I do believe they ended up marrying again, because she worked very hard to help him get past it and be a decent girlfriend. She fully admitted she screwed up, didn't cut the friend that spilled the beans and took full responsibility for her actions.
How could anyone look at their wife the same after knowing they were not only cheating was was a major $lut in college
She just wanted to cheat end of story, i feel so sad for op and i'm glad he's heading towards divorcing his lying cheating wife
Right, her not telling her college friends she was in a relationship was the give away that she intended to cheat from the start.
A couple is 2. A few is 3.
40:41 trying to date a single person's 1v10... trying to date a person who's not single 1v1.
The wife who was cheating the entire time 😮😮😮😮 oh hell no!!!!
You’re not accepting that her admissions are the extent of it, I agree.
I WILL NEVER CHEAT ON SOMEBODY I KNOW WHAT IT DOES BECAUSE IVE BEEN THRU IT
I SEE YOU!!! Lol. My money is on old messages are from the dead husband. The group text is the dead husband's family. 59:24 aaaaaaand play.
Well, it's not always good to be right unfortunately. On to the more pressing stuff. I've worked in death and I can see how OP's boyfriend wouldn't really want to bring this up to them just yet. Especially given the way in which the death occurred. It's really hard for most people not to take it personally to some degree when someone very close to them ends their life prematurely. There are so many questions that need to be addressed here that we unfortunately don't have the answers to now. Is this the boyfriend's first relationship since the husband passed? Has he ever received any kind of help for it? Are there other details that made it particularly horrific for the boyfriend beyond losing the husband? Such as having been the person to find him?
It's quite unfortunate that this is how OP found out. And I can definitely understand why they thought about what they did when they saw all of this. I think most anyone would have had the same thoughts if they didn't know all of the background information.
All in all, I don't think anyone is an a-hole here. Just a really tragic set of circumstances that unfortunately, these two have found themselves tangled in. I wish them all the best and hope they can find a way to work this out.
Two things, if I need to look through your phone for security we're not on the same page, nor a functional relationship.
I’m in a long term relationship and, if I seen or heard about this happening .
I would thing that if the other person in a relationship and, they even thought about liking someone other than the other person then never truly wanted to relationship… if it was so easy to think about the possibility of a relationship with someone other than the one their are already with.
I could maybe (big maybe though) get past one or two people, but if they cheated with more than 10 people, that's just unforgiveable.
First story: I think it's ok to sleep with other people in a long distance relationship ONLY if both are ok and open about it. Not in secret as the wife did...
Riley is going to be going down the BDSM research rabbit hole after this ep lmao
Ok, as for the amounts of things in our terminology: a couple is 2. As in a romantic couple = two people. A few is generally 3 to 4.
Several is more vague with anything from 4 to 10.
If memory serves, multiple is over a dozen, which is 12.
All of this because Sarah called a few 2, lol!😂😂😂
Riley if they cheat with you, they might cheat on you...
A marriage is a legally binding contract. When you marry someone while hiding something so big then you are entering that contract under false pretenses while deceiving the other party. Any other contract would be considered null and void and this one shouldn't be any different. This is a life long commitment with someone who has lied to you for over 20 years. It's not something you can just overlook and would cause you to question everything else for the rest of that relationship which would lead to resentment and insecurity.
Very well said, many are not seeing it this way.
We just need to call Sam's golden rule system just the sunken cost fallacy. He explains it so bad that some people think he's actually serious
I want the wives side of the story. I’m sorry. I’ve been married 28 years. He said in the beginning of the story that his marriage was great. Then, every time he updated, she was worse, the marriage wasn’t good. I 100% want her side too.
I've called and left a voicemail several times and I would love to chat with y'all and spill the tea ☕️🫖🍵 Love y'all and Big Protein❤!!! I listen to y'all everyday and it helps me decompress during my 1 hour commute to work, my lunch break, and my drive home. I even sometimes cook and clean listening to and laugh when y'all do the "Divorce! Divorce!" chant and the conspiracy tin foil hats (btw my parents are divorced and remarried and there is so much 🍵 ☕️🫖 !)
When y'all call do you use the voicemail number? Because I want to recognize and not block it as spam.
THANK YOU FOR ALL Y'ALL DO❤
ICU 59:27 - Sister, mom, aunt or cousin OF PREVIOUS PARTNER. And the time off might be for mourning.
If OP had taken the ice cream date to confront partner like "Hey, friend of mine sent me this photo, and is kinda freaking out. Can you help explain it to me so I can explain it to them?" No phone snoop would have been needed.
Before listening to the first story Ima say NTA
She wanted to mess around but didn’t want him to sleep with other women. Very gross what she did to her boyfriend/husband. My other half told me about a women he slept with as a teen and they ran into each other and it was very awkward for me and made me feel bad because of the looks they were giving each other while catching up. The husband is right to divorce her because there is no peace of mind after knowing what the wife did.
Riley 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
4:28 a few is ~3…a couple is 2 👍🏽👍🏽 This woman had more than several. She had many several.
Several would be 7+ unknowns
Like oh I slept with seven people possibly Eight? Maybe even 9
Agreed, I’ve always seen several as six to ten.