3 Kids, No Wedding - Til Debt Do Us Part - Common Law Competition
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- Опубликовано: 18 сен 2024
- Although they've been together for over ten years and have three children, Hollie and Sean are not married and they keep their financial arrangements separated. While Hollie wants to make it official, Sean’s putting off the trip to the alter until they can afford a big wedding. Sean only pays for the mortgage and insurance, leaving Hollie to handle everything else. And with an ever-increasing debt load, the wedding is a distant dream. Now, Hollie's facing a family crisis which makes it even more urgent that they sort out their finances, and their relationship . Gail needs to show this couple that even though they're not hitched, their finances are. -
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IF 10 years, 3 kids, and a dying father doesn't make him want to marry you, that's because he doesn't want to marry you. If he wanted to, he would. It's not about wanting a party, or an expensive wedding, he's simply holding out on finding his wife. she isn't it.
They are possessed by demons!
Yes and he went off to college and left her dealing with everything herself. And he still didn’t pull his weight when he got back.
💯
Marriage prior to giving birth is the standard
Or maybe some people realize that being married doesn’t mean forever. Some couples get married and it completely ruins them. Having kids is also a gigantic commitment that he did make to her. My sister law and her husband took a long to get married also had three kids first. Maybe this guy doesn’t want them in debt when they actually get married 🤷🏻♀️seems like smart thinking.
Feels like she's a single mom and he's single but lives there.
Yes I so agree!! I feel like he doesn’t really like her. But he’s also selfish and needs to step up. I think she’s be better living single.
So many married single women. I believe she's not married regardless if she was he'd still act the same..
But they are single - they are living together not married.
Common law set up not accepted in US courts.
Maybe in Canada it's different.
She is a single Mum. They aren't married
@@ihama99 lol sadly most women are married single mom's because hubby is a helpless man child
There is only one reason why they aren't married: HE DOESN'T WANT TO.
Why would he! He gets sex, money, a maid, a nanny and a personal assistant for free.
He already seems them as being married, what he doesn’t want is the big expensive wedding. Marriage is nothing more than a certificate to hang on the wall now
@@barnabusdoyle4930they can still marry without party
Hes a user 😢😢😢he doesn't PAY ANYTHING
@@barnabusdoyle4930nobody I know hangs a marriage certificate on the wall. The legal protections that it provides are so much more important as you go through life.
Mr. We only need 200 a month to feed my family, but then he immediately says he's gonna go to his parents for money... he is one big red flag.
He clearly has never fed anyone but himself. $200.00 a week maybe but not a month.
Seriously. I’m pretty strict with my groceries. And even then I’m spending at least 130 a week for a family of four
I am a single woman... I spend 200 Euros on grocery for a month... and I don't eat that much meat...
The show is 10 years old. 200$ bought a different amount of food then than it does now.
He talks like all the debt is hers, but their down payment was on her credit card. He's just shifting things to her, so that he can be in good financial position individually. He handles only 2 household bills.
The fact that she made two more babies with him after he left her to deal with the first one by herself... Oof
Right!!
He went to college.
@@kimjones2056but he paid for nothing during that
Pretty sure he knows how to not have babies
Blaming the working mom who shops and cooks for you for spending too much money on groceries for the "family"? Pretty low brow move, dude.
Especially since he thinks they can all eat on $150-$200/month. Try that per WEEK!
I feed a family of 4 on $500/month. It’s not possible for us to eat on $200/month.
That's excellent considering the high inflation.
How can one have three children with such a man?
He’s handsome, that’s all he has going for him.
I feel for her. a sick dad, kids, handling all the household chores, and a husband who is indifferent to her. Her eyes look dead. 😥
He is so indifferent....so sad how low self worth impacts women. She definitely settled for less than love...
They’re not married.
she seems so depressed
She needs to stop shopping.
She nagged him the whole time. She refused to let him see the house budget. She lives beyond their means
3 babies didn't make him want to marry her, not likely a dying Dad would either. Holding out for a better option. This is not what love looks like. I hope she finds better.
she deserves wayyy better
Free milk, no need to buy the cow
She allowed herself to have kids before marriage. It’s sad, but she put herself in this situation. Plus is though that they will have easier time leaving each other.
@@gabhm4bbw Women aren't farm animals... they're women...
They did get married and her dad was in the wedding…it was part of “where are they now”
He's a narcissist and couldn't care less for the mother of his children.
Immediately my thoughts! He has the narc eyes. Snake eyes.
I married in my 20’s. Had a big wedding and on the night before everyone was so freaking stressed. Looking back, totally not worth it. My husband, unfortunately, passed away. When I remarried in my 50’s, we went small. Paid about $100 for the licence, gave the local pastor $200 to perform the ceremony, and then bbq’d at my moms with the minimal guests, the pastor, and his wife. We had SUCH a good time for well under $500 (including the dress, on sale, at Torrid). If it’s the marriage, and not the party that’s important, you can do it small and have a memorable day.
If a man doesn’t make endure effort to get the woman, he’ll easily leave her and will take her for granted.
I married at 20. We payed about $1000 for EVERYTHING. Wedding, dress, food after(only 20 people), and the honeymoon. I never saw the sense in starting marriage out in debt for a wedding. The only thing I would have done differently is I would have gotten professional photos.
Your wedding cost about the same as ours, we married after being together for 32 years, two kids, one condo, one house , 3 cars, 5 cats. LOL! Anyway, for us we just didn't want to have a big wedding. I wore a nice red dress, my husband wore his suit, our kids wore nice second hand clothes and we had some friends, we went to the restaurant that was it. It has been 10 years, we are still together.
Putting their house down payment on a credit card….I can’t stomach that’s idiocy involved with that. You literally cannot do that in the states.
I am surprised they could here... can't do that now
I saw an earlier episode where someone said they used their credit cards for a down payment and I thought the same thing, you can't do that. Later in the episode, the people said they got cash advances from their credit cards for the down payment. That's super expensive!
I suspect it’s not done on paper as that likewise wouldn’t be possible. For example a family member may give them 15K in cash, and they might give it back to them by taking out a loan after moving in.
@@stellasampson572 the thing about credit card cash advances is that as soon as you take out a cash advance on your credit card, you're paying an astronomical interest rate.
They've changed the rules and you can't do that anymore. You CAN do it with a line of credit, but it has to be at a different institution than your mortgage. It's still kind of dumb, but it's at 5-6% vs the average which is 15+
He seems to want all the benefits of marriage and a partner, but not about caring for her feelings or HIS kids. How can he care more about "the day" than her dad? Go to the court house, have the wedding in a park or the backyard, and the party at the house. It's a four-six hour gig! Having her dad walk her down the aisle is much more important. If it's about "the party" then do a fancy to-do at the renewing of the vows when you can afford it and have shown you will stay married.
But it's not about the money, it's about him not wanting to marry her at all and using the party idea as an excuse.
They all aren't his kids.
It's a cultural thing
I garuntee you he bailed as soon as gail left
@@gabhm4bbw as a black woman myself, i agree
This is what you get with the “50 50” guy
Right?
Omg so true
Funny how they think it’s 50/50 and the wife does everything.
it is NEVER 50 50 though. It ends up being 10 90 because its always the woman doing more, thats why he has to PROVIDE FULLY financially.
@@sarahjaynescott136 that’s true, honestly, I clean and do 90% of the housework, but we split bills even, I get technically paid more than he does and have a better job, due to choosing to go to university, he did not, so I don’t have to work as many hours as him to make the same amount of money. I don’t expect him to do everything, but just to put his clothes in the damn dirty laundry bag and put dishes in the sink and not be so damn messy. Plus would be if he would help with the pets that he brought in the house too. Then he says that I don’t do anything around the house. Drives me insane and I’m almost at my widths end, because I feel so unappreciated.
Please do a series of “where they are now”
They can't: Gail Walked
He looks emotionless when he speaks. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't actually feel anything.
Course not, shes a roommate not a wife to him
@@NightRaidGaminga roommate that he takes money from, have sex with, cooks and cleans for him, takes care of his kids and his personal assistant.
No meaning that he could have a personality disorder- no empathy, no self responsibility, etc@NightRaidGaming
He looks completely unreliable, eyes of a snake. She is unhappy and is using stuff to cope. She needs to leave and do some financial planning for herself.
This guy is so arrogant and blames her for everything. I’d be shocked if they’re still married.
He sucks so bad I’m horrified
Yep, he has no idea what she does. Typical dude who doesn’t realize.
They were never married 😆 in this episode they were together for 10 years, 3 kids in, and he hadn't married her
@@CocoaPuff01 in the eyes of the law thy are common law spouses
@@asimskentzos9231 Still not married. It’s stupid. Just do it.
His lack of affection, especially when she starts crying and when they sit together on the couch (his hand doesn't touch her arm or shoulder), reminds me of my Ex. It was all about him and no emotion (even during you know what). We were 50/50 and basically I was his friend with benefits.
The biggest mistake I made was thinking that he would change. Wrong.
Takes two, she pushes him away
Some people don't show pda in public. In many cultures, it is respectful. Reserved for in private.
3:53 and 4:43 - Gail immediately called him out! Love her. She does not tolerate the BS or the one-sided blame game. It's a partnership.
They have kids, and he doesn’t pay enough. They behave like 2 single people living together while they have kids together.
Her husband is awful. The least he could do is agree to a scaled back ceremony so his wife’s dying dad could be there to give his daughter away. Then once they’re out of debt in 3-ish years, they can plan a big ceremony as a vow renewal.
Yeah. He sucks. Immature. Her self esteem seams low.
They are not married. They are (2) single people living together with (3) kids.
EXACTLY!! I had a 6 mo old and was Engaged… found out my Uncles health was precarious… Put an entire Wedding, Reception, etc within a Month so my Uncle could walk me down the Isle!!
He's not her husband. He never married her.
@@CocoaPuff01 Okay?? And that’s because he’s an awful parter who won’t compromise on the ceremony for the sake of the mother of his kids and their dying grandfather.
I actually found the guy to be extremely irritating. He didn't seem to take her concerns seriously. Her dad is dying and he is still complaining about money and thinks he knows best. He probably just didn't want to get married (even though legally they already are).
Yes!! He's like he's single
I also got the feeling he didn't want to get married. I wonder if they did.
@@flakathy890 yessssss
I think he low key hates her.
How long r they togethef and how long do yhry havr to live together to be commonlaw. Any lawyers?
We lived on $70,000-$90,000 with 4 kids. I was a stay-at-home mom, and we lived on my husband's salary. This man is not committed! It is so sad for her and the kids. She deserves better!
Maybe but she doesn't see it. Accepts an indifferent partner who doesnt give a flip affects her in profound ways......she is done not because she is financially done, shes emotionally done with accepting his twits treatment
That was a good income back in the day.
What years are we talking about here? $80k in 1990 would equal $128k in 2014, or $165k in 2024 (CAD). I don't know what decade you raised your kids in, but your husband's salary could have been much higher than the average household income in Canada. Income also isn't directly related to a person's values or level of commitment to their family.
Buying second hand baby clothes is the best thing you can do! They rarely wear it for long and are in great condition. You can get branded 27€ sets for 2€
I look for $2 kids shirts and shorts
I only buy preloved for the kids
Wow, he's a winner. You're literally too old to be asking your parents for grocery money.
That’s an insane amount of money. I’m single, two kids, no child support and I make a third of that but manage to pay my mortgage, car payment etc and support my kids. Crazy.
Why does he keep blaming everything on HER ?????
Once I seen the Man.. I already knew 😂
Once I read the title I already knew 🥴
2:31 Oooo. Ma'am, he don't want marry you. 4:28 I know that hurt her feelings. The way he dodges the subject of actually marrying her is slick. He knows the damn well the reason he won't marry her is because he just doesn't want too.
Wow, Gail helped them plan a wedding before her dad dies. No money can buy that
This guy is just stalling because he doesn't want to make a commitment.
Exactly
Yep
Don't buy the cow when the milk is free
@@gabhm4bbw Okay, milk isn't _really_ free. 😔. _(12/20/2022)_
What I don't get is the childish response by many "adults" when they are called out. They laugh, smile, and act like it's just a small issue. It's huge.
I dont kmow what she saw in this guy..hes not very nice.....he not interested in marriage
Exactly. She was not smart having kids out of wedlock, no one is. This is what you get
Omg, in the UK the bank would never let you use a credit card to make your down payment on your home, esp to the tune of $35,000 😮
10 years 3 kids and not working together.
NOT MARRIED. Huge mistake
How do they discipline the children
I wish they had a follow up show with these couples like a year down the road. It would be nice to see how they’re doing.
The couples themselves could leave an update in the comments too. Why don't they.? Oh maybe they can't afford internet because they're still in debt lol
@@MissX905 😂 hahaha, ouch!
@@MissX905 😂
These are my parents they are doing wonderful these days and are happily married :)
Terrific, Cole. Thanks for the update.
I owe $100 on my credit card and I panic until I pay it off. These guys are giving me anxiety on a level I can’t even explain.
same here
I feel sorry for Holly. Her life is hard
She picked him
I always wonder how many of these couples are still together. My bet is….not many.
Isn't she still a single mom living with the baby daddy.
You can get married at the courthouse real cheap
He definitely needs to be more compassionate and loving towards her. I could see the stress and hurt in her face. No one should invest too much in children's clothing. Kids grow too fast.
It’s naive of you to think that care and compassion can be asked for. It’s either there or not.
@@DX-d blah blah blah. I don't think she should ask. I 💯 think it should just be there. Where did I say ASK?
Together TEN YEARS with THREE KIDS and still not married?! Ridiculous. Plus calling money his money and her money in this situation is equally ridiculous. Geez.
It's strange that most nurses I know are in this sort of relationship
They are so use to taking care of people and have big hearts. My wife is a nurse and she so many times doesn't want me to do anything eventhough I ensure I always do. She gets worried when I simply do the laundry so she won't have too.
@@taemorrow1 But there’s a big difference you and this asshole. You very clearly and obviously love your wife. This guy loves himself and only himself.
@@taemorrow1 thanks for being a man who supports his wife. A woman who does everything will end up being burned out if she doesn’t get help.
She has very low self esteem and he preys on thaf.
yes a new one i haven’t seen!! please i need more!!
I love Gail Vaz-Oclade. I learned a lot watching her show, many years ago, when my boys were young. She is a badass when it comes to debt, and how toxic it is for a marriage. Maybe it’s that this guy comes from a Sports background, but he seems to see the World, including his marriage, as winners and losers, and he has decided that HE is the winner, rather than working with her so the whole family wins. She is obviously using Retail Therapy as her stress reliever, but is creating a monster in the process. I hope this brought them closer together.
Hmm they seem to keep their money separate. if she has been paying more than him for months, possibly years, shouldnt he pay her back first ?
I wonder if wife is on the Deed/Mortgage, or just him?
@@jeromehenry4484 good point ! If not, that's juste terrible. If they break up, they'll have spent the same amount of money, but he'll have a house, and she'll have nothing but receipt for groceries that have long been eaten... Terrible organisation money-wise !!
I wonder how they are doing now? Holly...he just doesn't want to marry you. It has been 10 years. Co-parent those beautiful children and move on in your life and be with a man who wants to marry you. You are a talented, educated woman 💖💖
His actions spoke loudly and clearly when he didn't support his family for 4 years.
The partner who has the shorter commute should make their home a safe place to land by picking up the slack for the longer commute partner. Commuting is exhausted and breaks down your body, mind & soul.
Lol that's not always a true case. I work ten minutes away, my spouse, 30+. More frequently like last night I worked 13 and a half hours he worked 9 & a half. Some people don't even get the decompression of a drive home. 🤷
Clearly a narcissist. I was raised by them....feel for the children
When he smiled when she said his kid went to bed hungry in the intro was the first indicator
@@joiedevivre894 makes your skin crawl
Beautiful Children.
My man put a ring on my finger FIRST , before I went to bed with him and had kids. We have 3 boys. Been happily married for 29 years and ZERO debt ! 😊
me too!:)
1 child and almost 7 years
so worth it and being eachothers first and only is the best
not zero debt...but working on it...we started with zero debt😅😅😅
Poor lady, wake up that dude doesn’t love you
I have a strong feeling he still sees himself as single and fancy-free, and that is why he doesn’t want any sort of legal commitment. It would require him to grow up and he doesn’t want to. I also think it’s why he doesn’t want to even look at the bills he isn’t “responsible” for, because even that is too much like real life for him. Well, the joke’s on him, as they are his kids and he is as financially responsible for them as any other father out there, wedding certificate or not. I didn’t finish this episode, but I do hope they worked things out.
Wow, how didn’t seem concerned at all when she was crying. Does he even care about her?
He looks like the baby from Dinosaurs.
Lmao I need this show in my life. I feel like I live within my means, but there are things I could improve in. Considering the financial abuse I went through with my sons father and my mother this show is comforting.
He wants a mom, not a wife.
He’s despondent, and completely absent from the entire relationship.
They have come a long way and I'm so happy for their marriage.
They're not married. He never married her.
@@CocoaPuff01 yes he did he’s my father
If he loved her and cared for her he would first marry her and then had kids. He is using her as a tool and is allowing this. She thinks he will love her for doing everything but this is not working like it. If women does not behave with dignity and does not respect herself men will not respect her. No recent man will remain unmarried when they have kids. Mature people are responsible for their finances and their family. I am not saying I am good at budgeting but I know I need to think three times before buying and save every month. Living below means a is universal advice.
Y not get married before u decide to pop out 3 kids? Children cost money
Their biggest mistake was putting the downpayment of their house on a credit card. Sell the house and rent a small crappy apartment
They have school age kids. They need a decent school district at this point. The crappy apartment is what you do before kids.
public schools suck
Sweetie, he doesn’t want to marry you. Not even your father on his deathbed can convince him to commit.
He doesn't like her
How did they end up having three kids if he wasn't liking her?
@@marinard6293 when you find people who are easy for you!!!!
He earns the same as her...he just doesn't try to help her, but to be fair she was hiding her credit card debt.
I am just curious how much birth control costs in Canada? Oh yeah you would have to remember to take it daily. Or get an IUD that you don’t have to think about. Or Nexplanon.
4:43 Of course, she has debt. The father is off in other country. And the mom left with the job of taking care of the children and a home.
The nice thing about not being married to Mr wrong is you can just leave. No government intervention i.e courts and $$$$$ required. She was smart enough Not To marry him. Now she needs to cut her losses.
Technically they are common law now, which means if either wanted they could drag it out like a divorce
When he’s the father of her three children he won’t just go away after the breakup
Wow he’s a deadbeat, yeah he’s paying the mortgage, but he’s not really caring for his family and they are not even married. 😢
Sean seemed to be a bit late for his own party....buck up mate your wife to be needs you to be part of the team!
They are not married. They are 2 people living together.
I'm in the US maybe in Canada 2 people living together has a different status.
Here in US unless you are married you cannot collect each other's social security.
9/22/22...The guy MUST PAY CHILD SUPPORT to help her pay for all her bills/expenses.
Go to court to make it legal as per the Judge's order!
This is exactly why you marry before they move in and you have baby after baby. Nah, bad deal this, no wonder she drowns her insecurities with more shopping.
I don't think he's a narcissist I think he's in extremely entitled on the down low and he's going to do what he's going to do and he's entitled to a certain life, I don't think he realizes what he's doing he just doesn't scream narcissist to me
This man child has done nothing to help her or their children. He should not be opening his mouth to comment in any capacity. Also, why don't they just go to a court and get married?
This woman has three bio children and one man child.
His money is his money, her money is family money.
As a black woman, her first mistake was getting with this guy.
No, her first mistake was having one, never mind 3 kids out of wedlock
Yep
I have a respectful question, why did you put as a black woman? What did it add to the comment? Nothing but respect.
@@nataliemairesmith7586 As a black woman myself, I think the point that she was making is that we see a lot of his type in the black community.
@@nataliemairesmith7586 I was thinking the same thing. I'm a black woman with a black husband and I'm not going through any of this. I also see a lot of white men on this same show being as or more irresponsible as him.
If its not a house or a car, and you don't have the cash to pay for it.......DONT BUY IT. I will forever be grateful to my parents for drilling that into all their children.
She’s taking care of a freeloader who cares very little for her. He’s just along for the ride.
Ppl think marriage is harder than having kids, marriage you can walk away, but if you have kids!! THATS FOREVER. JUST GET MARRIED, STOP HAVING KIDS OUT OF WEDLOCK!!!
This guy is horrible and not a good reliable partner
This guy is clueless how to work with his future wife. Call it narcissistic. Even in the soccer challenge, he is doing everything himself and just dragging her along. Not working together.
3 kids and no marriage! Just dumb.
Wow! Would like an update. Probably divorced!
I hope so, she deserves better.
I didn't know you could use a credit card for a down payment on a house 🤯🤯
But I have a wedding ring that means NOTHING.
Found himself a woman with low self-esteem, that he obviously doesn't love to begin with, and she kept having kids, thinking it would force him to commit. Now she's using her dad's condition try to force him into marriage He's an ass and she's a fool. I'd bet money that they're no longer together.
Uh, yeah, kids can’t wear that many clothes before they grow out of them next month. 😆
City Hall for your wedding and a family dinner at home. Do not quit your job to be with father. Be with him before and after work.
Sounds like he rather live with his baby mama and not pay child support instead of splitting up already.
3 boxes of mac & cheese and tuna or eggs, as well as carrots or apple slices, makes a good supper for kids - and yourselves for like $5.00
She’s just trying to give her kids a good life she just needs a balance
I think this show is taped in Canada. In the US there is no such thing as common law relationships.
I do not understand if relationship is troubled why have kids.
Why?
Kids before marriage not a good idea.
If either one passes they cannot get each other social security.
Lack of committment issues.
Please out there in YT land do not get involved with a man and have kids - no committment.
Women don't settle-
men too.
Forget big wedding.
Time is precious
This story is so sad
I hope it all worked out for them
Too bad we do not find out what happens in all if these stories.
I hope they are happy.
We have common law marriage in Texas
@@PhillipAndrew24-7 hi are you red pilled? What do you think from a man's point of view on his ability of responsibility and the fall backs he does? What do you think is the woman's plate of woes are and her mistakes?
Where do you live? Because in the US common law marriage is a real thing in at least 10 states
@@prg4647 I live in New York
@@maril1379 I think you need to research a bit more
50-50? More like 90-10. He loaded her with most of the problems and responsibilities. They had a baby and he just left and never sent money? That’s insane. They put the down payment on HER CC. This is crazy.
I'm a millenial and I had a phase where I could use a credit card to shop and I quickly stopped because it was getting out of hand so fast. Now stuff makes me nervous. Even with a nomal amount of stuff it is like I am constantly cleaning something, trying to sell something, trying to throw something away... I started liking money instead and financial planning for later.
For clothes, I go thrifting. Especially for kids!
My husband & I got married at the base church, we had a beautiful reception at our home the most expensive thing was our cake. Someone recently looks at our wedding pictures & loved then. We've been married for 18yrs now wouldn't change a thing. This woman has given this man 3 children has been tried & true in her love & support of him & now her father is dying & this selfish man wont marry her . He doesn't love her & doesn't want to marry her he's still looking for his wife.
She’s a baby mama at this point. Sad
I hope this couple is doing well. 🙏
Does he have another woman in the States, maybe someone he met while in school?? Is that why he always wants to go to the States???🤔🤔
I wish we could get updates on these couples!! 🥴
It would also explain their separate accounts and financial arrangement
It's not up to us to do the blame game. I wish them well in the future!!
Why does she pay for all the child care?