It shows in the comments how men really feel. Also, how neglected men's emotional state is. The male in the country is like a disposable commodity. Mental health matters gentleman. Be true to your values. Love does not guarantee happiness.
This seems like it’s going in the right direction except I’m not jealous about it AT ALL. For me, the problem is trust. When someone lives a huge chunk of their life acting a certain way, making certain choices, subjecting themselves to certain situations….. how can you trust that they have become someone different? How can I trust that if I upset her or let her down that she won’t revert back to her old ways, seeking attention from men, or giving her all to any man that shows an ounce of attention. It’s scary, it’s worrying, it makes me feel vulnerable like I’m sticking my neck out towards the wolfs mouth. It’s very very hard to get over.
What kind of life is that if you are always worried? You want your wife to worry about other women looking at you. You want to be the one in control. If you can't trust her, don't get married. It's called "Jealously" that she can have any man she wants. Easy for her, but hard for you. If you were able to get any woman you want, I don't think you would have this problem.
Why would you even get married with her in the first place if you knew that you self was not ready to completely embrace her past?...lol i think thats the first problem before talking about her past bothering you after you already married her. Dude, its too late thinking about what should i do my wife past is killing me after getting married. You totally put your self in the situation where you dont have any choice. since you are married, now the only option is you embrace her past and only think about making future with her lol i mean what else do you have an option? Get divorce now by telling her " oops sorry, i dont think i can deal with your past anymore" ?... thats why yall need to always think twice three and fourth times before marriage lol... Marrying someone is not a game guyssss. Its not something you can delete and reset easily and just start all over again like a game settings lol If you knew her past before marriage and if it did bothered you even before marriage then you should have took more time thinking about her past and decide whether you would be able to understand her or forgive her or anything not thinking about all these after marriage
@@codycast If I found out she slept with someone after we were married I wouldn’t feel much different about how I do the guys before me. It’s repulsive. .... Man you nailed it!!!!
@@bob5007 thanks. It’s hard for a woman to understand as they like a guy with experience but after you’re together you better not step out. Where as most guys don’t want an “experienced” woman and I don’t find her past relationships to be much better for me than if she had them yesterday
Just make your wife to build a better past with you. She only married you because she saw something better on you. Don’t try to drive forward looking at your car mirrors.
I had to end a 15 year relationship because of RJ issues that I couldn't get past. My partner told me she had a ONS and after years of telling me she never does anything like that. When it was over I was so glad I didn't have to think about it then the next relationship I got into the girl told me about the threesomes she's had. Now I'm back where I started and don't know what to do.
Think of it this way, if you were a woman for one day, would you get wild secretly? I'll bet you would. So would I. I would explore my "va jay jay" for the day. Ha I used to be jealous about my ex-wife's ONSs. Since divorce, I realized it's so silly to be jealous because it's all in her past. You can't control her past. She has to have a life so she can learn about herself. So, it's kinda silly when you look back to this & think to yourself. You would rather be in upper control and use it to your advantage in the bedroom. Enjoy her body. Now, it turns me on to the fact that she was wild before me. The fact she married you proves that she would rather be with you than be out there being wild with some stranger. Everyone has to learn about their own body. So, you can't expect your ex-wife to be like a nun and not touch down there until you come along. How do you know if you are her soul mate and the one to touch her down there? What if she had 5 husbands in her lifetime? Would the fifth husband be jealous of all four husbands sex activity with his wife? I would be concerned if she's still friends with her exs and have lunches with them. Other than that, don't let it bother you. Use it to spice up your sex life with your wife. Do our wives get jealous about our ONSs??? Are we men not allowed to have any sex experience before we met our wives??? It's a double standard here. If we men are allowed to have sex & experience it, so can women. Make her want you even more and make her crazy after you. If you can do that, then you are in control over her and she wouldn't care about her past, but think about you with sex desires. You want her to worry about other women looking at you, not the other way around. So, don't lose your mojo! Be the man!!!
Mine is more about lies and me seeing the same things happening again that brought forth the last lies. How you supposed to forget that. It's hard especially if it comes down to what they are doing may throw everything away including your children and how do you learn to trust someone who has already been caught lying and it always seems to be the same thing they lie about and they always do and act the same way and things when they are lying. Basically it boils down to honesty once the trust is gone its hard to get back and basically you can't do it for the n they have to prove it to you. But how do they do that when behavioral patterns show you everything and when you see those patterns you automatically go to the lie from before. It's hard
Been dating a girl for about 5 months. When she’s told me her body count (11) which I’m sure is higher. And especially many stories of sexual promiscuity makes me wonder her long term potential. We are the aggregate of the 5 ppl we spend time with. She tells me all kinds of stories of her good friends being total sluts and bragging about sexual partners. It’s so hard to get over it cause past actions predicts future behavior.
I have counselled many men with this issue - I have found a few factors to be decisive 1)If your relationship to your wife is the most sexually passionate and outdoes others in comparison, then it greatly helps the man to accept other men because he is "number one" 2) Casual hook-ups are more damaging to men's psyche than serious committed relationships 3)If the previous relationships were more sexual and charged in nature than his, this is more difficult for the man to overcome. 4)If the woman was younger and more unaware of herself when she did those things, it is easier for the man to accept it in the present because she is a much different person than if she had done those actions more recently.
the kind of guy who obsesses is usually a nice guy, fit, successful, educated and marries a reasonably fit woman with similar qualities. In my case and others i know about, the men have little or no experience as you can be a reasonably fit successful 27 year old and NEVER be pursued by a woman and if you are of a "player" mindset you can have no experience until your wife-to be. If she is a shy but reasonably fit woman with a decent personality she has been pursued dozens of times but men with a mindset to seduce and it is unlikely that NONW of the men were successful and/ore she has resisted ALL of the men(some older with resources).. I see that all the time and have experienced. I believe that at 25 up there are more inexperienced virgin men than women from what i have read and if you are the men you can have random bad thoughts at the worst times
Move out find people else where who have the same views. You don’t have to accept anything worse case is they lie to you or keep away from you trying to find out
Is myself a lot in what you said. I am 23M with to Master's degree, speak 3 langages fitter than 95% of the population and constantly striving become a better man (spiritually, physically, emotionally, financially). I had to sacrifice so much for all this and even did therapy to be more social. I never had the time to date until I found my gf few months ago. She is what I always prayed for but was my 1rst experience and I was far from being her first. Then my lack of experience turned into RJ that was so bad that the relationship stopped right on the spot. I hate this so much, feels so unfair that I need to put in work again
How to stop a wife from having very bad flashbacks find her past ex’s mentally,physically,and emotionally relationships at the point of talks about committed suicide when the husband been golden to her since very first day of meeting? I really need a video about that question between a husband and a wife.
It really helps me to overcome as I have been judged on the basis of my virgity issue and past relationship by someone i love and trust.. i am not married yet it left me with some deep moral wounds... Thanks for ur video
Don,t take tension but I know u r innocent , there are several guys who know that some girls is cheated , not all girls are promiscuous. U will get very kind hearted guy who respect u more than ur body . He loves uu very much
We have been together for 12 years, and this rears its ugly head still. This is not my problems. Its his, but im 52 yeats old and am tired of the shame.
This seems to be a male problem. Most men seem to sleep around a lot when young. Then they expect to find a low mileage woman. Then they get angry when they find out their woman has a high body count. Lol. Fair play
this is quite the projection - most men do NOT have to capacity to sleep around UNLESS they are in the top 10-30% of men (tall, attractive, social status, money, ect) most men are NOT having sex Its the women who are sleeping around with the same group of males in that 10-30%. All a woman has to do to get sex is show up for men to get the sexual abundance women have by default they wold have had to put in a lot of work to do so no its not right for any man to sleep around and then expect a virgin or low miles woman....HOWEVER this FALSE idea that most men are out here with the crazy body counts is simply projection......its the women
For me its the wife. Loves to throw it up in my face every few months. Getting ready to have round two of marriage counseling over it. Round one lasted 6 months. I am considering leaving her over in this time.
Everyone deserves respect and one has to confess their past to their partner before entering a relationship and if it is ok they can have a happy life and if they are not comfortable they can moveon on a friendly note, expecting a virgin partner/non-virgin partner is completely fine and not wrong in it as it is ones personal choice and it's their life, JUDGING A PERSON BASED ON THE PAST IS COMPLETELY WRONG BUT NOT THE REJECTING, it's your life your wish, emotions will be same for virgins and non virgins and every person's emotions and feelings has to be respected, if your mental health is really getting disturbed by your partners past, do the same what your partner did keep it as secret with you so that your mental health won't get disturbed, if your partner confess their past then you too confess yours and if they expect you to accept them who they are, then they also have to accept you who you are....
@@vice4134It's okay for Men to have 10 Sexual Partners but no for Women because Its make her higher chance of being Unfaithful Wife, Bad Mom, Attentive and Even they will act like they're own person not Other's Person
Young Men don't think, all Young Women are virgins ,child hood brings all sorts of abuse, father, grandfather, brother, uncle, man down the street, when Young sexual abuse don't seam wrong only when they get older, then low self esteem sets in ,so dating allows many sexual partners so don't just blame your wife it a child hood result.
Interesting how left out completely God or any faith! Which tells me who you are and your values! There is no marriage without God, for it is He who makes the two as one,... NOT the civil courts or society!
It shows in the comments how men really feel. Also, how neglected men's emotional state is. The male in the country is like a disposable commodity. Mental health matters gentleman. Be true to your values. Love does not guarantee happiness.
It’s not only men that deal with this, women deal with this especially. No one wants used up garbage
This video should have millions of views.
This seems like it’s going in the right direction except I’m not jealous about it AT ALL. For me, the problem is trust. When someone lives a huge chunk of their life acting a certain way, making certain choices, subjecting themselves to certain situations….. how can you trust that they have become someone different? How can I trust that if I upset her or let her down that she won’t revert back to her old ways, seeking attention from men, or giving her all to any man that shows an ounce of attention. It’s scary, it’s worrying, it makes me feel vulnerable like I’m sticking my neck out towards the wolfs mouth. It’s very very hard to get over.
Yes, interpret the word “jealousy” liberally.
What kind of life is that if you are always worried? You want your wife to worry about other women looking at you. You want to be the one in control. If you can't trust her, don't get married. It's called "Jealously" that she can have any man she wants. Easy for her, but hard for you. If you were able to get any woman you want, I don't think you would have this problem.
Zach, this is a GREAT guideline video to get over retroactive jealousy. Thanks for sharing it with us.
You’re very welcome.
Why would you even get married with her in the first place if you knew that you self was not ready to completely embrace her past?...lol i think thats the first problem before talking about her past bothering you after you already married her. Dude, its too late thinking about what should i do my wife past is killing me after getting married. You totally put your self in the situation where you dont have any choice. since you are married, now the only option is you embrace her past and only think about making future with her lol i mean what else do you have an option? Get divorce now by telling her " oops sorry, i dont think i can deal with your past anymore" ?... thats why yall need to always think twice three and fourth times before marriage lol... Marrying someone is not a game guyssss. Its not something you can delete and reset easily and just start all over again like a game settings lol If you knew her past before marriage and if it did bothered you even before marriage then you should have took more time thinking about her past and decide whether you would be able to understand her or forgive her or anything not thinking about all these after marriage
@@codycast If I found out she slept with someone after we were married I wouldn’t feel much different about how I do the guys before me. It’s repulsive. .... Man you nailed it!!!!
@@bob5007 thanks. It’s hard for a woman to understand as they like a guy with experience but after you’re together you better not step out.
Where as most guys don’t want an “experienced” woman and I don’t find her past relationships to be much better for me than if she had them yesterday
What if her friend said
Omg, remember when you banged 3 guys at the same time.
Would that change how you think of her ?
@@Gmenpg definitely i would feel like shit specially if you where a virgin before her
@@bob5007 so your saying that you were a virgin when you got married?? No sexual history at all??
Just make your wife to build a better past with you. She only married you because she saw something better on you. Don’t try to drive forward looking at your car mirrors.
Would you throw away a good 10 years just because you found out about something in her past that happened before she met you?
Of course, it largely depends on what that “something” is.
Women will LIE by omission or commission to secure a mans commitment.....that is the problem...
Thank you for this. I was someone like this in the past; yet now I am the one on the receiving end. Sigh.
its the dealbreaker scenario that sucks
I had to end a 15 year relationship because of RJ issues that I couldn't get past. My partner told me she had a ONS and after years of telling me she never does anything like that. When it was over I was so glad I didn't have to think about it then the next relationship I got into the girl told me about the threesomes she's had.
Now I'm back where I started and don't know what to do.
Think of it this way, if you were a woman for one day, would you get wild secretly? I'll bet you would. So would I. I would explore my "va jay jay" for the day. Ha
I used to be jealous about my ex-wife's ONSs. Since divorce, I realized it's so silly to be jealous because it's all in her past. You can't control her past. She has to have a life so she can learn about herself.
So, it's kinda silly when you look back to this & think to yourself. You would rather be in upper control and use it to your advantage in the bedroom. Enjoy her body.
Now, it turns me on to the fact that she was wild before me. The fact she married you proves that she would rather be with you than be out there being wild with some stranger.
Everyone has to learn about their own body. So, you can't expect your ex-wife to be like a nun and not touch down there until you come along. How do you know if you are her soul mate and the one to touch her down there? What if she had 5 husbands in her lifetime? Would the fifth husband be jealous of all four husbands sex activity with his wife?
I would be concerned if she's still friends with her exs and have lunches with them. Other than that, don't let it bother you. Use it to spice up your sex life with your wife.
Do our wives get jealous about our ONSs???
Are we men not allowed to have any sex experience before we met our wives???
It's a double standard here.
If we men are allowed to have sex & experience it, so can women.
Make her want you even more and make her crazy after you.
If you can do that, then you are in control over her and she wouldn't care about her past, but think about you with sex desires. You want her to worry about other women looking at you, not the other way around. So, don't lose your mojo! Be the man!!!
Mine is more about lies and me seeing the same things happening again that brought forth the last lies. How you supposed to forget that. It's hard especially if it comes down to what they are doing may throw everything away including your children and how do you learn to trust someone who has already been caught lying and it always seems to be the same thing they lie about and they always do and act the same way and things when they are lying. Basically it boils down to honesty once the trust is gone its hard to get back and basically you can't do it for the n they have to prove it to you. But how do they do that when behavioral patterns show you everything and when you see those patterns you automatically go to the lie from before. It's hard
Been dating a girl for about 5 months. When she’s told me her body count (11) which I’m sure is higher. And especially many stories of sexual promiscuity makes me wonder her long term potential. We are the aggregate of the 5 ppl we spend time with. She tells me all kinds of stories of her good friends being total sluts and bragging about sexual partners. It’s so hard to get over it cause past actions predicts future behavior.
I have counselled many men with this issue - I have found a few factors to be decisive 1)If your relationship to your wife is the most sexually passionate and outdoes others in comparison, then it greatly helps the man to accept other men because he is "number one" 2) Casual hook-ups are more damaging to men's psyche than serious committed relationships 3)If the previous relationships were more sexual and charged in nature than his, this is more difficult for the man to overcome. 4)If the woman was younger and more unaware of herself when she did those things, it is easier for the man to accept it in the present because she is a much different person than if she had done those actions more recently.
Thanks for your comment.
the kind of guy who obsesses is usually a nice guy, fit, successful, educated and marries a reasonably fit woman with similar qualities. In my case and others i know about, the men have little or no experience as you can be a reasonably fit successful 27 year old and NEVER be pursued by a woman and if you are of a "player" mindset you can have no experience until your wife-to be. If she is a shy but reasonably fit woman with a decent personality she has been pursued dozens of times but men with a mindset to seduce and it is unlikely that NONW of the men were successful and/ore she has resisted ALL of the men(some older with resources).. I see that all the time and have experienced. I believe that at 25 up there are more inexperienced virgin men than women from what i have read and if you are the men you can have random bad thoughts at the worst times
Move out find people else where who have the same views. You don’t have to accept anything worse case is they lie to you or keep away from you trying to find out
Is myself a lot in what you said. I am 23M with to Master's degree, speak 3 langages fitter than 95% of the population and constantly striving become a better man (spiritually, physically, emotionally, financially). I had to sacrifice so much for all this and even did therapy to be more social. I never had the time to date until I found my gf few months ago.
She is what I always prayed for but was my 1rst experience and I was far from being her first.
Then my lack of experience turned into RJ that was so bad that the relationship stopped right on the spot.
I hate this so much, feels so unfair that I need to put in work again
How to stop a wife from having very bad flashbacks find her past ex’s mentally,physically,and emotionally relationships at the point of talks about committed suicide when the husband been golden to her since very first day of meeting? I really need a video about that question between a husband and a wife.
They both never cheating on each other because they both had got cheated on from their past relationships before ever meeting.
It really helps me to overcome as I have been judged on the basis of my virgity issue and past relationship by someone i love and trust.. i am not married yet it left me with some deep moral wounds... Thanks for ur video
Don,t take tension but I know u r innocent , there are several guys who know that some girls is cheated , not all girls are promiscuous. U will get very kind hearted guy who respect u more than ur body . He loves uu very much
@@rautiramanrajak6502 huh? That’s the worst attempt at English I’ve seen.
Just don’t marry a virgin !
Everyone tries to pose themselves as innocent.
Even though, they know the destination.😅
@crispinswainstonharrison9042 that's the best thing to do. Why wouldn't you want a virgin?
good job dude seriously well done by you
We have been together for 12 years, and this rears its ugly head still. This is not my problems. Its his, but im 52 yeats old and am tired of the shame.
This seems to be a male problem. Most men seem to sleep around a lot when young. Then they expect to find a low mileage woman. Then they get angry when they find out their woman has a high body count. Lol. Fair play
Not just a male problem :)
Yes I agree past is past I am concerned in what is happening now
this is quite the projection - most men do NOT have to capacity to sleep around UNLESS they are in the top 10-30% of men
(tall, attractive, social status, money, ect) most men are NOT having sex
Its the women who are sleeping around with the same group of males in that 10-30%.
All a woman has to do to get sex is show up
for men to get the sexual abundance women have by default they wold have had to put in a lot of work to do so
no its not right for any man to sleep around and then expect a virgin or low miles woman....HOWEVER this FALSE idea that most men are out here with the crazy body counts is simply projection......its the women
The best video of the day
Suppose she was in her early 40s?
Man I'm guilty of all these things concerning RJ Wow
The first lesson is what I do
But how is she already your wife? Shouldn’t this be done before she’s a wife?
I think this is for those guys who got cheated by lies
Exactly
@@ayanokoji5594 They should leave
Relationships build on lies no man should stay
Amazing video
Thank you.❤️
Thank you sir
Very nice explanation
thanks man
7:59
Excellent 👍
I find it so hypocritical though?
My Husband brings up past :*(
For me its the wife. Loves to throw it up in my face every few months. Getting ready to have round two of marriage counseling over it. Round one lasted 6 months. I am considering leaving her over in this time.
@@spandlism7656 that is just how I would feel too. Plus if she didn't want to do that with me then why tell me you have done it at all?
@@jimizzy422 yeah leave a woman who talks about exes and disloyal
WIFE past Plzz Upload Video in hindi
Plzzz sir plzzz sir
Help Me....😔
I am From india
And I don.t Know english more
Bro what happan, baat karo plz
This is da best video ever
Everyone deserves respect and one has to confess their past to their partner before entering a relationship and if it is ok they can have a happy life and if they are not comfortable they can moveon on a friendly note, expecting a virgin partner/non-virgin partner is completely fine and not wrong in it as it is ones personal choice and it's their life, JUDGING A PERSON BASED ON THE PAST IS COMPLETELY WRONG BUT NOT THE REJECTING, it's your life your wish, emotions will be same for virgins and non virgins and every person's emotions and feelings has to be respected, if your mental health is really getting disturbed by your partners past, do the same what your partner did keep it as secret with you so that your mental health won't get disturbed, if your partner confess their past then you too confess yours and if they expect you to accept them who they are, then they also have to accept you who you are....
We all judge the past. Uts tge best predictor of the future
Double standard if you ask me. Why is it okay for men to get wild in their past, but not okay for women??? Hypocrisy at its best!!!
@@vice4134I agree
@@vice4134It's okay for Men to have 10 Sexual Partners but no for Women because Its make her higher chance of being Unfaithful Wife, Bad Mom, Attentive and Even they will act like they're own person not Other's Person
Young Men don't think, all Young Women are virgins ,child hood brings all sorts of abuse, father, grandfather, brother, uncle, man down the street, when Young sexual abuse don't seam wrong only when they get older, then low self esteem sets in ,so dating allows many sexual partners so don't just blame your wife it a child hood result.
Thanks for your comment.
Marriage is not natural but cultural and the tension between the individual and the cult is the reason.
Interesting how left out completely God or any faith! Which tells me who you are and your values! There is no marriage without God, for it is He who makes the two as one,... NOT the civil courts or society!
Oh boy. Endless projection. Have a great life.
Best comment on this video
God also wants people to wait till marriage to have sex. That's why we have thos issue
All people are not christian
Thank you for defending my comment. @@cheetavontiebolt9971
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👍👏👍