Struggling with your girlfriend's past? Read/listen/watch dozens of retroactive jealousy success stories, and learn more about my online course/private community at www.retroactivejealousy.com/course-open/
I hate when you find out stuff from the past you didn't know before, it makes you look at her crazy. You love them but dont wanna get hurt. And the more you know the crazier you are
I never even thought that ill be at this place in my life someday. Im going thru it now it hurts i cant do anything. I hope everything gets better. Ill pray for all of you guys. God Bless You all!❣️
its the most frustrating thing; knowing that being worried about their past is so stupid but yet it hurts SOOOOOOO bad 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️... someone make it stopppp
I realized one day I wasn't so much upset by my partner's pasts as I was at my own lack of experiences. And there's nothing to be done about it. I don't want to actually go out and HAVE a wild sex life. I want to have had one. If that makes sense.
@@luiscarrillo5954 we didnt probably. at least i didnt get over it yet. im positive tho that it will get better with time. i'm always trying to remind myself that she is the best thing that has ever happened to me and that i wont be happy if i leave her to go fuck other girls. but it still is hard for me to deal with her past.
YES - it's that she explored so easily what we WISHED for for so many years of our lives. We feel like we missed a party boat. And now our association with the idea of sex and sexual value is tainted
Thing is, I am not jealous of her ex and I just hate him and all the other guy's shes liked/have liked her. It gives me such anxiety, and mentioning makes me the bad guy so I have to stay embroidered in my thoughts.
I utterly bollocked my girlfriend a couple of times when she did this and she stopped mentioning her ex...like I care about this bs. It made me love her abit less and dont take her as seriously.
@@hxdarihey man just spitting facts out here. I know she had a one night stand so when she says things to me like im your angel, or im an angel and bla bla bla i always think to myself and even said to her sometimes: no your not🤣 i laugh at it but that really makes me sad that i think this way and that she did that in her past, shes a good person and i like being with her but idk if i want to marry and have kids with someone i think this way about
@@yoyo-rs6wz you can't let her do that anymore, you let it out on her and tell her how that makes you feel or she'll just carry on, she might be doing it to make you jealous, but that's just playing with your feelings and maybe you don't deserve that and you actually deserve a girl who cares truly about your feelings
Apparently this is one of the most underrated topics that has damaged thousands of marriages. As a man, the world never really stops to listen to you they just tell you to suck it up and move on.. a few months later after i posted this we finally broke up and it was a nasty breakup. My advice is that let go while you still can, it's just going to be more painful along the road and the torture more unbearable
She’s told me about her past and that I can’t dislike it or anything because there’s nothing wrong about sleeping around and I get that but at the same time she’s my only body and I feel less special to her in a way
@@Ps-cb9ew I had that feeling for a long time bro and eventually we broke up after two years a week before our wedding. my advice is make up your mind because things arent going to be better
I think a woman's past begins to bother a man when she has been through more experiences than he has. Idk. Maybe. Just remember, if she's telling you about her past on her own, she deserves some points for honesty and also, she clearly trusts you. She's tryna confide in you. Be a sport if you truly love her. If you react like an asshole when she's tryna trust you with things she's embarassed about, you're gonna damage her immensely.
This is exactly my situation. I was a virgin when me and my girlfriend got together and she has slept with 3 different guys. Its really hard for me to accept that fact that we've been together for 4 years now and it still kept bothering me. Plus, in some times, when we make love, it bothers me to think that someone else have been there. And sometimes when we kiss, thoughts come in my mind that I'm kissing someone else's dick. As of now, were on a break because of that issue and I really don't know what to do. I know I can't say that truly I love her if I cant accept what she is. I need help.
@@OjeJanorabon 4 years is too much time to have doubts in the relationship and something that upsets you, you should have put an end to the relationship after 3 months. I know what you feel, ... if you want to end the relationship, don't end it abruptly ,,,, ask her for time ... 1 month without contact and see if you can overcome this problem or not. If you leave it in a radical way it will be very hard for you ,, (I do not advise) give the relationship a break ,,
i made a mistake by digging my girlfriend's past.. all i wanted was to prevent her past from happening again.. but all her lies made me feel this way.. i love her and i trust her.. all i asked was her honesty and i said ill forgive everything and let it go.. but the lies got me thinking.. if her lies can make me believe her.. how many lies have i believed without ever knowing that it was a lie.. i dont know what to feel.. but sir thank you..
Lying might be a dealbreaker for you in a relationship, which is entirely understandable. I wrote an article about retroactive jealousy and conflicting values which you might find interesting: www.retroactivejealousy.com/values/
She's not telling you the truth bro. After 4 dicks it's entertainment. She'll do it again. Monkey branch bro. Start looking now for a quality girl (if you can find one). Use her for your pleasure just like she would for you until she'd dump you for the next. Be aware..
kentred studios. You say you trust her. Why? She has lied to you therefore she is not to be trusted. Period. This is where men and women get in trouble...magical thinking. I just did it with a man I really fell in love with. Don’t trust someone who lies to you. She will betray you, you will suffer, and then you’ll say all women are lying bitches, which is not true. You know she is a liar so whatever now happens is all on you.
Me and my girlfriend spoke recently about her sexual past, I was not happy and she kept apologizing and seemed very sad so I told her not to apologize because she doesn't have to, what she did had nothing to do with me as we didn't even knew each other. What we should do is stop talking about our past because it is not relevant and I don't need that bad vibes. We been dating for almost 5 months now, still fresh and still can't get enough of each other, it's nice to not worry about stuff that will not benefit you at all, like her sexual past. Sometimes it might crawl up, but think about it, there is a reason why she is with you and not with anyone else, you that special dude she chose, so don't eff it up by asking about her sexual past, it will only make your life more miserable. Just enjoy what life is offering you and cherish it.
Wilson Waigwa Im a woman, and trust me, we dont. Like 100% honestly, if we love you, we love it. And if we think you’re not the best, we will tell you how to do it and what to do and when so you can be the best🤪❤️ Do not worry about it, I promose you you have nothing to worry about
The worst thing in the world is, you are virgin and your girlfriend has an ex. Now you can't leave her coz you truly love her and she has so good character.. The only thing that stinks is her past relationship with her ex. You can't move over it as it is your first relationship.
I have issues I m virgin and my girl friend's past I can't accept her past and I can't leave her because I love her What should I do I don't know Please help me
I would like to add my 2 cents. I think there are triggering events and levels to what makes men jealous. We all have different levels. In my example, I never cared about a partners past too much and usually if it came up in conversation the partner did not talk about the sex or how good it was with another man. Secondly, I never had to meet the ex or man they spoke about in person. In my current situation, I was volunteered information about all of her sex partners (short and long term). I was even told about the dynamics of the relationship and a lot about the men themselves. I didn't like that information but it didnt spark any retroactive jealousy, just a little concern as to if these men are still around or would still be around her. Mine wasn't triggered until I met and ran into one of the guys she talked extensively about. I now had a VISUAL REPRESENTATION of exactly who she spoke about. Not only did that digust me, but it made me sick, hurt, jealous and shocked. My boundaries were crossed and it also made me look down on her, as I couldn't imagine them having sex in the first place. I am of the opinion that if I didn't have to hear so much about it, it would not have made me jealous or even care, I would have just said okay and moved on.
I feel super insecure. I love her but I see the boyfriends shes had in her past and I feel like the ugly duckling of the bunch and feel that if someone more attractive comes and starts talking to her she'll fall for them instead.
That's a matter of confidence (as you said) but also of trust. If youre really in love with her you should trust her that she wouldn't jump on every guy who's talking to her or even let others flirt with her. Always keep in mind that it's you she chose to be together with and nobody else. And you should be proud of that. But I still think that if those feelings are getting worse and worse and you keep having unnecessary fights, you should or can break up and find other people to be happy with, instead of going through that torture.
Mostly girls choose to settle with the ugly guy and cheat on him with a hunk. Telling you from observation. Men are no less they marry an innocent woman and then cheat on her with a ho
Dude, this is a tough one, in my experience women who go out with guys that are less attractive do this for the following reasons: 1) They have been hurt and want someone to be their band aid until they feel better about themselves. When they do they will either dump the guy or cheat on them. 2) If the guy has resources, money etc then they are generally after those rather then the guy. In addition to the "resource guy" they WILL have their hook-up, booty call guy. This is someone they find sexually attractive, they will limit intimacy with the resource guy. Normally resource guys are aware of the game with these sort of women and limit the role in the lives i.e. never live with them and never have a kid with them etc. Although, these can look like relationships they aren't so the point about cheating doesn't apply. 3) They know they can do anything and the guy will put up with it this includes cheating etc. These women trade on the insecurity of the guy, making him feel he will never get anyone better and therefore he should accept whatever she does without question. The clever ones never actually say this but I have heard of women who have directly said this to their partners. As you have noticed her previous boyfriends were, you think, were more attractive than you. Therefore, I would suspect that 1) is applicable, the good looking guys have used and abused her and now she wants someone to massage her ego. Obviously, I have had to infer a lot here but that is how I see it. My advice would be have fun with her, build up some sexual experience, but don't get serious, I know you said you love her but try and draw that back. I'm assuming you are young, learn from this experience.
Don't look into comment section before watching this video into the end. Now I have tears in my eyes by happiness. The relief i feel is amazing. Thanks. This isn't just a 16:43 long video. It takes way longer to understand and get your "shit" together.
Dude, that was a very realistic approach to this situation. The 7th step really hitted me hard, I just did not think yet that "being ok that I will never love her past" is something normal. I mean, it is so obivous but maybe in this haze of bad feelings I've forgot it. Thank you, honestly. Now I need to reflect on it.
I'm insecure about my own lack of success in sleeping around. That's why her successful past of it bothers me. My association of westernized nightlife body-sharing and youthful sexual encounters is a net negative, and considering sexuality is a colossal part of our psyche, it's become as sensitivity area. My girlfriend and I argued about this last night. It feels so stupid. She can't change her past. I can't change mine. Frankly I just feel like a little kid having a tantrum because I didn't get to play in the sand pit.
@@dragomegaman3711 Way better - I finally got a therapist (not because of this, I have depression) and WOW he helped me so much. He highlighted all my negative thought patterns. Came to terms with the past. It hardly bothers me now like it used to. Although I still would like to go get some.
There’s one important thing to keep in mind though when trying to have a “calm and rational” discussion with your girlfriend - she’ll only tell you what she knows you want to hear. At the end of the day it’s again only back to you decide to what extent you’re willing to believe that she won’t let you down. So all this video really says is that you either risk it or you let her go, there’s no other way around this problem.
see? thats one and the only reason that i do not want to get in a relationship because im 100% sure that i cant handle stuff like that and i do not want to get my mind busy and make a woman uncomfortable its just better to be single
david mandes recently got in to a relationship(first one) she already told a lot from her past and damn i was not expecting that, she has had at least 2 serious long lasting relationships, she has been raped, and she cheated on her last boyfriend AND i am only a virgin 😂. I cant sleep tonight because a guess it is just too much for me with no experience having my first gf with past like that
LVOskarliNE Exact. Seriously EXACT same situation here. I was a virgin recently, my badass current girlfriend came along and changed me, she claims to love me more than all of the past relationships she had and so.. but it‘s so hard to get over it and to know that you can‘t discover things anymore, only for you at least.
LVOskarliNE virgins for virgins! it's just unfair for a virgin man to has a used girlfriend same for girls not to mention that awkwardness when you see her ex .. the one that used her, animals haven't problems with past cuz they are animals !
Overall I'm happy that I've found her.. she changed me to something way better than I was before. She told me that eventho she discovered things, that she wants to rediscover them with me again in a good way. Yeah she has been "used" before, but at least I'm using her better now and she knows it haha.. this is all that counts. As the video tells us, maybe she wouldn't have met me if she didn't have the experience before.
It’s very difficult when they lie about the past or keep things out and then the relationship gets deeper and after that, truths start to come out and little things they hid as well. That’s when it hurts because people will never be truly UPFRONT from the getgo
I feel this way because i am not comfortable with tge fact that other meb have had acess to her and i just cant imagine her doing those things with other men.
Just date someone whose past doesn't bother you. It's that simple. Stop pretending you are okay with his/her past if you are not! It's not a psychological problem and it's not insecurity. For example, if a girl/guy is not okay with, say, your height, why should they date you? Why should they pretend that they're okay with it if they are not? They will end up making you feel bad about yourself and making themselves feel guilty for doing that. I am currently dating the kind of girl I always wanted to date but was too dumb to get. I dated several other girls that I was just not okay with. And for what? Insecure women/men will tell you that you have a problem and that you are the insecure one just to put you down or to sell you their "therapy" or whatever. Stop listening to them. Just know what you want and go get it-- that's what real confidence is. If you want a chocolate ice-cream but all the cool kids say the vanilla one is better because the chocolate one makes you look like a nerd, just put the vanilla ice-cream away, stop pretending you like it, tell them to f*ck off, and get your damn chocolate ice-cream, stupid!
Right, like there’s nothing insecure about demanding a girl who is a saint or a Virgin. Like the preference in and of itself does not tell you anything
God bless you for putting this video out, and may god bless and help all of us struggling with these demons, only when you face it you can fully understand the burden
I just wanna say you should forget her past if you really love her, we all make mistakes and we learn from them as mentioned in the video before taking and decision think about your own past, feel easy about her past, the past dosent matters what matter is her, her trust and honestly, thinking about her past will only spoil or end ho th relationship and a break means you arent a real men cause you dont have the guts i had the same issue of my gf i used to think about the way she was touched and i used to make her cry but she always shared my pain and that was enough for me to love her maybe i am a coward for the society but i am a king and brave man to my partner if you have any kind of problem about your ex you can reach me, may you all get courage to get over this shitty thougts ameen 😇
We need more man with big heart like you in the comments. Not all relationship is worth to keep but if you know she is the one, you need to swallow the truth and be a man about it.
my girlfriend didn’t sleep with anyone but she sent pictures to some guys before. i’ve been struggling pretty hard to get over it. i’ve been dating her for a year and a half and it’s still a struggle. i’ve always been a jealous person too. we’ve slept together but it still doesn’t change the fact that i feel like her body has already been revealed to somebody else before
He only saw pictures, so think of it this way, if you see a pic of a ps5 doesn’t mean you own it or it’s yours. He saw her body but he will never have it . Her body is yours .
He talks on and on to say nothing really useful. Here is much better: Your girlfriend's sexual past (and your own) should be disclosed as soon as a real emotional/sexual relationship develops between two people, and that is because a good relationship requires openness. Based on the exchange of this information, both parties can decide to either accept it and move forward with the relationship or not. It would be a serious breach of social /romantic contract to stay silent on that topic, for whatever reason withholding such important information until the relationship is quite advanced. At that relatively late stage, whether one discloses voluntarily or the partner finds out, it will be a betrayal done on purpose to mislead your man (or woman).
I always find it interesting that most people will pass over a dented can at the grocery store but, are not concerned about their partner's sexual past.
Working on it. I'm so jealous ND she deserves a man who treats her better. I know she loves me, but it is genuinely destroying my ego. I need to drop my ego. Good luck on you guys as well. Choose love, I know it's hard
I was virgin...but i married a divorced women...to be honest it doesnt bother me about her future..as a muslim i followed my prophet..he said in hadith..a man can choose 4 thingss in women..1.beauty,2wealth,3health,4righteousness..amongst them if they dont have beauty,wealth,health but they have righteous heart,you can marry her..but if she has beauty,wealth,health and she doesnt have righteous heart than dont marry her..our prophets 1st wife wasnt a virgin she was widow...when she died than he married again...same i loved my wife more than my life but she died 5 years ago in car accident..now i am married with another women...and she is virgin she doesnt judge me according to my past she loves me..plz dont judge someone beacause of her past
Sometimes I don't know how suddenly the gf past strikes my head I get very tensed I get headaches . I go mad sometimes. I really truly love her very much . The one black mark on our relationship is her ex . I the past I didn't have a gf she is my first love . I really need help . I get weaker sometimes . I want to forget about it . Once I taught I would go to a doctor and if I get hypnotized to forget about her past . I really need help . I want to forget about him
Same brother, She's my first Gf and I'm a virgin before we met. At first, it was just nothing if she had BF's in the past and she's already not a virgin, but as time goes on, I've felt that feeling, it gave me anxiety attacks and it kills me inside, maybe we were expecting that our first's will be like us, but we ended up here, I Love her so much though but this thing pops out of my head, and I hate it so much.. maan, I dunno how to fix this, but I hope for the people who feels this feeling to be guided and be enlightened, one day, we will get rid of these.
Only got two choice for this bro break her heart and leave her like her ex done to her.. or be a real man and stand by her side.. think about the positive things about her.. there should be more of her than just her body or things about the past right (sorry if grammar is wrong..)
If you realy love her or him you can accept their past and love them more. Every one has a past. You has a past too ,so just accept that it is life and past is gone. Your girl or your boy is yours now not their ex's Sorry for my bad english I hope you would understand what i said I my self have this problem too but i don't want to ruin my realationship beacause my girlfriend's past Actually the time that she didn't even know me.
Actually, I don't even have a past of my own. Never did anything before she came into my life, so even the slightest thing of someone else appreciating her in the past (and that being mutual) just kills me.
This is useful info and I'll work on applying it, but I do have a problem with the double standard, i.e. women saying about men that "once a cheater, always a cheater." But I'm supposed to ignore a woman's past because it made her wiser? And if I'm worried about a potential repeat due to admitted history, I'm being insecure?
My gf told me her ex had a bigger penis than me to the point it hurt and was uncomfortable. She told me not to mock me but because she was saying she prefers sex with me over something uncomfortable. This obviously makes me feel extremely depressed and anxious all the time. I’m trying to get over it and I’ve slowly made some strides to get out of it but it’s been hard as hell. I’ve wanted to break up over it but I don’t want to let her past get in the way of our future. I’m not perfect as I too have told her some pretty bad things myself but only what she has asked. Any advice to help ease my mind would be super helpful
the line "we sometimes want our partner all to ourselves- past, present and future" is so true , fate is so fucked up, i mean if only 2 of us met before anyother cud have been a different present...may be or may be not who knows
Sometimes love is not enough,,I stayed in a relationship for 13 years, when her past was tearing me apart,,,, she had 4 kids out of wedlock with a man that had 13 children,,,and even anal sex with him and to tell me ,I do it probably wasn't just with him,,,and a remark she made always stuck with me,,,she said you don't have to love a person to have sex with them,,,,I know it sounds judgement, but I'm a man of high morals and values,, and she always claimed to be a holy Christian woman,,to the point of putting herself above others..my advice is don't stay in a relationship when you know there pass is a problem for you...
only 1 EX GF started telling me about her past I just told her I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW nothing at all we spend 5 years together she was worried i would hear from others about her n sadly she was right cause in the end i just left her but i still feel guilty about it cause i was no better than her but when u hear so many saying her i had her its hard to accept it but all she was looking for was a partner she was happy with, my opinion a woman has just as much right as we have to enjoy herself as we have
@@gbessone she did many things mate but most where for her financial survival n sometimes for her pleasures, don't we all do that when we have to need to? once we run into someone I knew n he kind of knew her pretty well where she was working the work she was doing n things like that soon after all my mates knew about her with eve lies on top since most of them where married they just started avoiding me, n a good friend of mine who knew all about her n he was ok with that told me they are all talking about her but each time they add more nasty things, I was also Not strong enough to stand up for her but hell how I wished I did i the end pressure was too much for both of us n we parted she was one of the nicest kindest person I have ever met, If I could turn the clock back I would a still been with her we all do big mistakes we regret afterwards, we all ask God for forgiveness why can we also forgive others?
The problem is getting to the truth to decide if you can accept it, but they don't want to sit down and communicate, which makes me feel unimportant enough or, let's say, less important than the past. It feels like a vacuum and no traction to move with. Accepting it is only a choice if I can communicate with her. The ideas sets into very loud emotions and I hate my emotions. I hate social media, it makes people do stupid things. I made past mistakes but I was never wreckless.
I'm not punishing her. I'm doing myself a favor. How she feels afterwards is her issue.. if she don't GAF when she tries to use a man as an emotional tampon ytf should you care or feel guilty for dumping her..
I would like to add my 2 cents. I think there are triggering events and levels to what makes men jealous. We all have different levels. In my example, I never cared about a partners past too much and usually if it came up in conversation the partner did not talk about the sex or how good it was with another man. Secondly, I never had to meet the ex or man they spoke about in person. In my current situation, I was volunteered information about all of her sex partners (short and long term). I was even told about the dynamics of the relationship and a lot about the men themselves. I didn't like that information but it didnt spark any retroactive jealousy, just a little concern as to if these men are still around or would still be around her. Mine wasn't triggered until I met and ran into one of the guys she talked extensively about. I now had a VISUAL REPRESENTATION of exactly who she spoke about. Not only did that digust me, but it made me sick, hurt, jealous and shocked. My boundaries were crossed and it also made me look down on her, as I couldn't imagine them having sex in the first place. I am of the opinion that if I didn't have to hear so much about it, it would not have made me jealous or even care, I would have just said okay and moved on.
Honey Bunny seriously how does a wonen struggle with a mans past other than the fact he maybe a fuckboy. You do realize women can get any guy they want as long as they have the looks
Im not sure why each individual man is jealous of his girlfriend’s past but I know what makes *me* jealous and I’d like to explain and get some feedback without childish replies. Ok, here goes... Any woman who says “I don’t think about my past” is lying. See, it’s not just about the guys she’s slept with, it’s what she learned and did with those guys. See if you can understand my example here; So you’re dating a woman who has been with a few men prior to you. Eventually either the topic of sex comes up OR you get to having sex and she starts telling you what she likes. Many people will find this to be harmless and natural for a woman (or man but let’s stick to women on this one) to let her partner know what makes her feel good. Ok. I get why and how so many people would think it’s no big deal and use the age old excuse “Well, if you care about her you’ll care about pleasing her”. Gag me! Keep in mind that this woman was once a virgin. For her to get to know what she likes, she has had to have MULTIPLE sexual encounters, either with the same man who took her virginity or several different men since she lost her virginity. Let’s say guy #1, 2 and perhaps 3 all slept with this woman and she never said ANYTHING to them about what to do to her in bed. She let them be THEMSELVES. And they did what comes NATURALLY during sex. And in these moments, she discovered “Oh, I liked that”. Now she’s with you. Now she’s literally giving YOU an INSTRUCTIONAL MANUAL on how to fuck her. Well then, so much for the bullshit line of “I don’t think about my past”. Yes they do. If you’re having sex with your new girlfriend for the first time in your new relationship and she starts saying “Do me doggy style. That’s my favorite position” or “Pull my hair”, or (my personal fav) “I like when *a guy* does______”, then hands down this woman is thinking about her past and NOT letting you be you during sex. Sex is pretty simple. And during sex, we’re all going to most likely do the same things. But when a woman “knows” what she likes due to previous sexual experiences, she doesn’t let you do things to her in YOUR OWN TIME and COMFORT ZONE. She DEMANDS them immediately because the man or men who did those things that she liked are no longer with her and you’re now the lucky bastard to fill their shoes SEXUALLY. She can hate the ground her exes walk on and even wish death upon them. But she damn sure likes how some of them fucked and now she wants to PROGRAM YOU to fuck like they did. So, in essence, she’s not thinking you’re a great lover because you do great and amazing things to her, she’s thinking of you as a great lover because you followed her instructions based on OTHER MEN who did great and wonderful things to her. How can you honestly sit back with a smile on your face and proudly lie to yourself that YOU are the best she’s ever had? She’s literally requesting you to fuck like someone else. Ask yourself this: When has my girlfriend (or wife) ever allowed me to do something on my own and I hear her tell me how much she loves when *I* do that to her as opposed to the “I like when A GUY...” nonsense. If she likes when “a guy” does such and such, tell her there’s plenty of a guys out there that she can have random sex with to satisfy her desires based on her past. But that YOU are not trying to be in her life to be “a guy” but rather to be THE guy. You follow? So I dunno if many of you men on here are just jealous of the woman having had sex before or if you’re feeling more along the lines as I am in that I don’t want a woman who comes with an instructional manual. Just remember- some of those men who were there before you didn’t have to deal with her instruction manual. They got to be themselves and they were (in essence) her “teachers”. There are plenty of men in the world who would love to date or marry a porn actress. I’m not one of those types of men. I’m looking for something more emotionally bonding. Any thoughts? (Without insults please. Let’s actually talk here.)
Anabel Aldaz - I just lost an amazing girlfriend because of my jealousies about her past. She said that she couldn’t be herself with me because of the things I told her about from our first conversation (we met on a dating site and met in person, it was an official relationship). But I wonder why she stuck around when she could have disagreed with me from day 1 and blocked my number. But she actually did agree with me about not having an instructional manual. Then she tried to tell me I wasn’t doing what she liked which means she was DYING to give me those instructions. Well, anyway, after the new year she dumped me and immediately went into another relationship with a guy that she rubbed in my face saying that he isn’t jealous of her past and wants to know all the things she already likes and he does them. Ok. I get it. But he apparently doesn’t mind the mental image of other men having done those things to her. I truly believe he’s the type to date a porn star. 🤷🏻♂️ I think I’m gonna post the video she made of us when I went to visit her in Florida. She posted it and took it down. But I just wanna get her goat 😁😁😁
A good man does not want to be with a girl that’s been with everyone. I see nothing wrong with a minimal past of partners. The more partners one has the more trouble they will have pair bonding. I say ask the relevant questions and watch the body language to see if the truth is there. Too many partners equals disaster.
The thing with me is, I love my girl to pieces and I know she loves me too, we tell eachother all the time and we’re so strong. But i can’t help but feel anxious and awful about her past. I know this sounds crazy and it makes me feel sick inside to think about her sleeping with others before me. Before we started going out we just saw eachother casually and we’re having casual sex, so we would talk about our past and laugh...but now it’s different. Especially because she did sleep around quite a lot but on the other end...so did I.
Ahh I Never thought I would be in such a state one day. Bt I'm happy to knw um not alone. May we all get out of this together nd stay the happiest with our partners ❤️
it’s such a fucking toxic trait of mine and i hate it, it’s making me love her less. i want to keep loving her and i know this is gonna sound bad, but i just feel disgusted.
I lost her because of this. She said she broke up with me for us both to change. I’m willing to completely change. Change that will show her I love her beyond everything.
Let her go ..Dylan ,,without being radical .. and try to find a woman who can overcome the past .. otherwise with that woman your life will be a nightmare ,,, you can take a test yourself ask for a month without contact and V ~ and how you react ,, otherwise .- move away
If you take issue and she says you are wrong to have issues- that is a bigger red flag than the subject matter. That's slipperly slop to gaslighting and it's already started with minimising you and things that cause you dissonance in the relationship and putting her adn her wants ahead of it. She is at that moment demanding you suffer ongoing break to any real intimate connection for her, to prove you love her - dirty past. If you think that is a good foundation for solid pair bonding (hint its not pair bonding at this point is polyamory, its just a question of frequency) for a family then have at it.
It's a waste of time if the values don't match. Even when teaching children, conflicts can arise with respect to parent's values on sex. It would be safe and better to know about his/her past + values before things get serious, that way one can make an informed decision. Even if there is a breakup, there is not much bad emotional vibe left.
@@ashley_brown6106 True that but sex and bonding is not for kicks and giggles like many in the West believe. Even though a person's values may change later in life but they still won't have the ability to successfully pair-bond with their new mate which will create a severe strain on the marriage. The whole point of marriage and children, with the man slaving off and still having to worry or suspect when his wife would pull the trigger on him thru divorce which opens another can of worms for the man. It would be impossible for a woman especially to pair bond with her new husband if she had already done all the dirty before marriage: Skin to skin, body to body sexual eye contact and that orgasm leaves a strong memory trail in the brain.
@@ashley_brown6106 But as a follow up if a man or a woman turns to God with genuine repentance and abstains from every form of sexual activity for a few yrs depending on the # of sexual sins and get sanctified through the regular study of the word of God, then there is a chance and hope for them to be sanctified. But a lot of Christians are disingenuous and don't actually go through the process of sanctification and healing because its a very painful process. There is no secret prayer or mantra which will heal or sanctify a person instantly.
We all think we want the truth and answers until we get them and that's all that we have is just truth and thoughts that replay over and over in your mind like some fucked up movie
I’ve been there. Think it’s best having an overall idea but specifics it’s where it becomes detrimental. I know I have zero desire to share in depth details with any woman I dated
Guys the fact is you feel so because you love her....you get jealous of her...you think if she has done it before she would be doing it in future.Guys listen you love her and same does she...just recall the times when everything was normal when you didn't find out about her past. she's your girl you know better about her character.leaving her just bcoz she ain't virgin or whatsoever will make you feel guilty in the future when you finally find out these past and shits are normal with majority of people of this generation.
dealing with this now.. i've made big steps in coming to terms where im accepting and it not bother me as much. my gf truely does seem like she regrets thing or 2 in her past, when we talked about she started to cry hard, she does shit for me that I've never had anyother girl do. come over and cook dinner or bring me food after work. Wash and fold my clothes, other things like that where I feel she really loves me and Im not wanting to let this go over a past
I hope you got over it. People change, embrace it and reward it. It’s not fair for her or you to see a past version of her when the present one is right in front of you. You’re her choice bruv
8:32 Not helpful. Mostly the men who are here are the ones who restrained themselves. They had the level of Emotional Intelligence that their partner neglected before engaging in stuff she did
I took your advice. I have brought up her past in our conversations quite sometime.. and she has handled them well.. though she. Was hurt in them.. and yesterday I again remembered something and brought up the topic..we argued a lot... And I totally understand she has nothing to say her part because there's is nothing to fix..I took your advice and calmly talked to her on this . And we are back to normal.. i must say it's a difficult road.. and I am hurt though but I love her the most and she loves me .
I was never like this till I fell in love with someone fr and she's so amazing yet I'm going crazy thinking about her past bc she was actually honest and told me in detail and I kinda blew up on her
my personal experiences if her past bothered me it was because she wouldn't shut up about & keep bragging about her ex's & still be friends with half of them & her ex's wasn't respecting that she was with someone else, if they would actually leave the past in the past where it belongs it wouldn't be half as bad, thank God I don't have this problem with the woman I'm with now, but my ex's if I was jealous it's because they brought it onto themselves, it's like it was a big immature shit test or something
I honestly feel like you'll never get over whatever it is that's bothering you, the only thing that happens is that you learn to not get as "'bothered" or your brain just slowly makes it a irrelevant memory. speaking from experience with this subject. I honestly just recommend to not ask questions that you don't want answered.
My current gf is 19 right now, she had daddy issues since her dad wasn't there at all, she grew up with her mom, and the father used to visit her lik a couple of times a month. She told me that she slept with over 19 guys from the age of 14 to 18 when we met. Since shes with me she settle down and she made a commitment for our relationship sake. But still bothers me the fact that she spend her teenage years with so many guys, she slept with the same 3 guys in different occasions for 2 and a half years, and she stoped talking to then when she met me because we fell in love, I used to be the same, I had more sexual partners than she did. I have her fb password and one night I came back drunk and did my "research" I found so many pictures and videos that I felt like throwing up, but I found out that she actually told these guys that she was done with them because she loves me, the guys kept texting her and she ignored them all, just for me, she really loves me I can tell, even our friends and family can say thet we are deeply in love, and the fact that at that short age she slept with so many people makes me sad, because most of them were way older than her. This is an interesting fact. When I first met her mother they were showing me pictures of her as a baby, then this picture showed up, I swear to god it was me for some reason holding this tiny baby, but no, it was her dad when he was my age holding her in hand as a newborn. I swear he is excactly like me, same ponytail, same skin and hair color, nose size and shape, same height, we both dress the same, we work as cooks or chefs however you wanna call it and he loves metal just like me, does she sees the father figure she didnt have in me? Thats why she stopped looking for some sort of love or acknowledge from all those guys she slept with since the moment she met me? I think the answer is yes. And I have a question, is that a good thing to have in a relashionship? I'm willing to read all of your opinions
@@yung1252 this happens when at the beginning of relationships there are Lies and omissions that poison the future of relationships, ruclips.net/video/N0jobFNnrZg/видео.html
Zach - I think most men only get “itchy” if they learn that a man or men in the past got more from the woman they are currently with. Everyone has a past, but when one learns that their significant other had previously been more driven to give more of themself, their interest, their sexuality, etc., it reasons to say that the new partner IS getting the short end of the stick. It’s actually healthy to expect to be given as much or more than those in the past (except for a beta-in-waiting). Why would anyone want less than their predecessors received? The one point we do agree on is to move on, and quickly, if a partner has decided that you just aren’t going to get what they gave to others. Don’t argue, don’t debate. Just leave. Some other woman WILL be “all that” for you. The quicker one quits settling after learning something that causes discomfort, the sooner one finds a better alternative.
women do not owe you the same things they gave other men. this is extraordinarily emotionally immature and i hope you seek help for this mentally ill way of thinking and behavior.
The thing is this was never something that bothered me, at all. And then I met my girlfriend who I love so damn much, she is the love of my life, and all of a sudden, something that never bothered me started haunting me, constantly with mind images of her with the other guys. How should I, how can I deal with the fact that other men had the chance to do whatever it is they wanted with her, how can I deal with this? Please help me, she is the love of my life, and I can’t seem to deal with this. Please help!
Only problem i have with my girlfriends Past is not her 9 partners originally she said 7. It’s fact she was dating 25-27 year olds when she was only 13
I'm disappointed but I still trying my best love her. She had alot sexual contact with her ex. Now idk how to react... My heart just broke after hearing it. She told me the truth..
I relate bro it’s not easy to deal with but no one will be on your side about this unfortunately. It’s a battle that we have to fight alone because no one gets it
Guys stop simping for women's bad choice , women have standards but are never judged on it when men have standards you are ridiculed, attacked and called toxic. This guy is leading you into modern day financial slavery and simpton. You are worth so much more don't be a guy who they SETTLE for and has to pay for her past, you are worth so much more . Remember it's just your turn when a girl has a high body count, she is unable or very unlikely to pair bond and will use you. Move on and look for women who are higher quality be it in the west which is highly unlikely or go abroad and find a women with more conservative values.
I hate that this bothers me too though. My girlfriend has a difficult past and if I knew it before I met her, I would be have been too weak to let her in. I'm so happy I didn't care then because she is such an angel. She has a lot of exes and kissed some boys around who I know personally and one of them is one of my best friends, and that is the toughest one I think. But I will get over this stuff because I know it will be worth it🙏🏼
it is an honest and total truth, starting all over again frightens many Men, Nowadays there is a promiscuity of women the worst is the speech of seriousness and frankness from the past at the beginning of relationships.
I love her and I am very sure that she loves me equally or even more... But her past makes me insecure... I don't want this stupid feeling of insecurity. It's hard coz I truly do love her. I never thought that someone's past would ever bother me until I fell for her so hard. Even so... I am gonna get over this now no matter what. She is more important to me than her past.
I am in love with this girl so much but the problem is that we never date each other and I really still love her so much. I really missed my girlfriend. I am a very shy person to talk with girls.
I was 21 played the field was ready to find the one found a beautiful 17 year old virgin dated her for 2 years married her.... Still married with 6 kids 20 years later guess what she still fit as hell. Guys do your homework pick the right one prefererly younger and not a slapper the End.
thank you sir. god bless you sir. I think her past doest matter that much. its just me thinking a lot about it. I know I love her and I know she loves me too. so I will count her positives and not her mistakes she made in her past.
When my girlfriend and I got together, I was a virgin while she had already had 4 partners. It kills me bc I still have newbie excitement, like even over something little like having a hickey on my neck (strict Christian upbringing that I had to get over which took me multiple years), while she will be indifferent I’ll be super excited bc it’ll be a first for me while it’s nothing new for her. I’ve talked to her about how I feel and she says that it’s still special bc it’s with me but I’ve seen her do something new sexually and she gets extremely embarrassed and emotionally excited. It kills me bc my brain unconsciously compares the reactions and I know she doesn’t feel that same excitement over doing stuff she’s done before with me. I love her and she shows me endless amounts of affection but our sex life kills me inside sometimes
this definitely helped a little, I got over my feelings for the most part early on in our relationship as she told me fairly early on about her past bow many how she felt about the regrets and all, I have always had the opinion that its your experiences that help build who you are but on occasion I do feel jealous in a way that I didn't get to be part of those experiences in her life that have shaped the woman i love today, I guess for me how i need to move forward is carry on making meaningful memories together and have turning points in our life together instead of our own so i can feel more a part of her than I do sometimes now.
The problem is most people do not even have clues what they really want nor find values. They are always susceptible. Their thoughts and values are easy to shift by others or anything.
better not get into this catch 22 situation. Attraction makes one jump into this, one should realize that attraction is fake and shallow. Its a mirage. facial and body beauty fades away. its only a matter of time. I'd always prefer someone who isn't desperate to get into a relationship and respects herself, even better always waits until marriage to have sex (this isn't anything to do with any religion). Old fashioned and I like it that way.
You know it's our own mentality that hunts us, personally when I'm with my girl ,I never get such thoughts. I guess if someone is ready to walk extra miles, you should respect their feelings that they feel for you.
Struggling with your girlfriend's past? Read/listen/watch dozens of retroactive jealousy success stories, and learn more about my online course/private community at www.retroactivejealousy.com/course-open/
I have a girlfriend that I love her so much but she is dating a married man what can I do
@@williamoshido7429 what?!? Man she's a cheater just leave her!!!
I hate when you find out stuff from the past you didn't know before, it makes you look at her crazy. You love them but dont wanna get hurt. And the more you know the crazier you are
Facts. That's why I learned 10 plus years ago to never ask questions when you really don't want to know the answer.
SO TRUE
Troy C big fucking facts
Yes.. I'm going through it right now man fuck man... I'm holding it in.
Jay De La Cruz what are u going through man ?
The fact that i never thought this would be a problem until i met and fell in love with her this hard.
I am in your shoes now, it's tough and it keeps up at night, but i am learning to forgive amd forget
@@towoawawaboofficial no the shitty thing is that I haven’t had anyone and she had like six guys
@arkham how do you deal with that?
@@MRALIAS-zx7yg i don’t fcking know
I mean we aren’t dating but im planning to ask her out very soon. But it still bothers me
Me right now bro, im trying to stay strong
I never even thought that ill be at this place in my life someday. Im going thru it now it hurts i cant do anything. I hope everything gets better. Ill pray for all of you guys. God Bless You all!❣️
Take care.
ruclips.net/video/1NEzGfs2lJs/видео.html
God bless bruv❤
Yea brother 😔😔
So what happened bruv? 🤔
Guys if this bothers you so much, it's because you love her!!
Probably
What kind of love he just selfish
Yes, If I don't care about their past it's because I don't care about them.
@@cameliaamel4310 you don't know about how others feel.
I agree
its the most frustrating thing; knowing that being worried about their past is so stupid but yet it hurts SOOOOOOO bad 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️... someone make it stopppp
Thats why im saving myself up
So she don’t gotta worry about that shit
@@arkham_miami 👑
yea
@@arkham_miami what if she aint saving herself😅
@@prathamdassani8499 then i aint taking her
I realized one day I wasn't so much upset by my partner's pasts as I was at my own lack of experiences. And there's nothing to be done about it. I don't want to actually go out and HAVE a wild sex life. I want to have had one. If that makes sense.
CapAnson12345 SAME SAME SAME
you just described my exact problem. im glad i'm not the only one.
Murderer how’s you guys get over this
@@luiscarrillo5954 we didnt probably. at least i didnt get over it yet. im positive tho that it will get better with time. i'm always trying to remind myself that she is the best thing that has ever happened to me and that i wont be happy if i leave her to go fuck other girls. but it still is hard for me to deal with her past.
YES - it's that she explored so easily what we WISHED for for so many years of our lives. We feel like we missed a party boat. And now our association with the idea of sex and sexual value is tainted
Thing is, I am not jealous of her ex and I just hate him and all the other guy's shes liked/have liked her. It gives me such anxiety, and mentioning makes me the bad guy so I have to stay embroidered in my thoughts.
Bryan's Imagination dont think sbout the guys shes liked that doesnt mean shit if shes with u its means a lot to her
Bryan's Imagination I feel you on that 100% bro
Same Bro. doesn't it get u mad when u and ur girl are having a good vibe then someone comes and mentions her ex outta nowhere 😭
I utterly bollocked my girlfriend a couple of times when she did this and she stopped mentioning her ex...like I care about this bs. It made me love her abit less and dont take her as seriously.
The men in her past were the Dark Ages.
You are the Renaissance
when you loose respect you cant get it back. believe me
This is so true. I don’t know I just do not respect her anymore but it’s so hard for me to leave her cause I care about her
@@hxdarihey man just spitting facts out here. I know she had a one night stand so when she says things to me like im your angel, or im an angel and bla bla bla i always think to myself and even said to her sometimes: no your not🤣 i laugh at it but that really makes me sad that i think this way and that she did that in her past, shes a good person and i like being with her but idk if i want to marry and have kids with someone i think this way about
i just feel sick to the stomach when i think about her cuddling with him
Even worse having sec with him
@@jadenlx4439 felt
fr
@@jadenlx4439 exactly she talks about it and i hate it, it makes me so mad and upset
@@yoyo-rs6wz you can't let her do that anymore, you let it out on her and tell her how that makes you feel or she'll just carry on, she might be doing it to make you jealous, but that's just playing with your feelings and maybe you don't deserve that and you actually deserve a girl who cares truly about your feelings
Apparently this is one of the most underrated topics that has damaged thousands of marriages. As a man, the world never really stops to listen to you they just tell you to suck it up and move on.. a few months later after i posted this we finally broke up and it was a nasty breakup. My advice is that let go while you still can, it's just going to be more painful along the road and the torture more unbearable
Bro I feel like this
She’s told me about her past and that I can’t dislike it or anything because there’s nothing wrong about sleeping around and I get that but at the same time she’s my only body and I feel less special to her in a way
@@Ps-cb9ew I had that feeling for a long time bro and eventually we broke up after two years a week before our wedding. my advice is make up your mind because things arent going to be better
@@tinashebentura8884 we broke up a week ago
Let go you mean to break up as soon as possible?
I think a woman's past begins to bother a man when she has been through more experiences than he has. Idk. Maybe.
Just remember, if she's telling you about her past on her own, she deserves some points for honesty and also, she clearly trusts you. She's tryna confide in you. Be a sport if you truly love her. If you react like an asshole when she's tryna trust you with things she's embarassed about, you're gonna damage her immensely.
Exactly. Honesty should be appreciated, not punished.
ruclips.net/video/1NEzGfs2lJs/видео.html
but it hurts when she dont tell you.. and you come to know about it yourself
This is exactly my situation. I was a virgin when me and my girlfriend got together and she has slept with 3 different guys. Its really hard for me to accept that fact that we've been together for 4 years now and it still kept bothering me. Plus, in some times, when we make love, it bothers me to think that someone else have been there. And sometimes when we kiss, thoughts come in my mind that I'm kissing someone else's dick. As of now, were on a break because of that issue and I really don't know what to do. I know I can't say that truly I love her if I cant accept what she is. I need help.
@@OjeJanorabon 4 years is too much time to have doubts in the relationship and something that upsets you, you should have put an end to the relationship after 3 months. I know what you feel, ... if you want to end the relationship, don't end it abruptly ,,,, ask her for time ... 1 month without contact and see if you can overcome this problem or not. If you leave it in a radical way it will be very hard for you ,, (I do not advise) give the relationship a break ,,
i made a mistake by digging my girlfriend's past.. all i wanted was to prevent her past from happening again.. but all her lies made me feel this way.. i love her and i trust her.. all i asked was her honesty and i said ill forgive everything and let it go.. but the lies got me thinking.. if her lies can make me believe her.. how many lies have i believed without ever knowing that it was a lie.. i dont know what to feel.. but sir thank you..
Lying might be a dealbreaker for you in a relationship, which is entirely understandable. I wrote an article about retroactive jealousy and conflicting values which you might find interesting: www.retroactivejealousy.com/values/
1
kentred studios if she lies leave immediately
She's not telling you the truth bro. After 4 dicks it's entertainment. She'll do it again. Monkey branch bro. Start looking now for a quality girl (if you can find one). Use her for your pleasure just like she would for you until she'd dump you for the next. Be aware..
kentred studios. You say you trust her. Why? She has lied to you therefore she is not to be trusted. Period. This is where men and women get in trouble...magical thinking. I just did it with a man I really fell in love with. Don’t trust someone who lies to you. She will betray you, you will suffer, and then you’ll say all women are lying bitches, which is not true. You know she is a liar so whatever now happens is all on you.
I don't even have a girlfriend why am I even watching this?
Soumadip Chowdhury mood
So you'd be prepared if you will have, I wish I've watched this before entering into a relationship
@@three33three33Same here mate
Soumadip Chowdhury too tell you how bad it is out there. Get 2250 together and buy a sex doll. Cheaper safer and makes you happy
You should be glad you saw this early. You can make up your mind now. But still life is not that simple!
Me and my girlfriend spoke recently about her sexual past, I was not happy and she kept apologizing and seemed very sad so I told her not to apologize because she doesn't have to, what she did had nothing to do with me as we didn't even knew each other. What we should do is stop talking about our past because it is not relevant and I don't need that bad vibes. We been dating for almost 5 months now, still fresh and still can't get enough of each other, it's nice to not worry about stuff that will not benefit you at all, like her sexual past. Sometimes it might crawl up, but think about it, there is a reason why she is with you and not with anyone else, you that special dude she chose, so don't eff it up by asking about her sexual past, it will only make your life more miserable. Just enjoy what life is offering you and cherish it.
The problem is they keep comparing you in bed with their exs. I had the same mentality as you until I noted that she does comparison.
Wilson Waigwa Im a woman, and trust me, we dont. Like 100% honestly, if we love you, we love it. And if we think you’re not the best, we will tell you how to do it and what to do and when so you can be the best🤪❤️ Do not worry about it, I promose you you have nothing to worry about
@@zoevega3469 Thanks a lot, what should I do?
@@zoevega3469 I wish our communication was a bit private
Wilson Waigwa me too :( I really hope you guys are working it out :)
The worst thing in the world is, you are virgin and your girlfriend has an ex. Now you can't leave her coz you truly love her and she has so good character.. The only thing that stinks is her past relationship with her ex. You can't move over it as it is your first relationship.
This...
I have issues
I m virgin and my girl friend's past
I can't accept her past and I can't leave her because I love her
What should I do I don't know
Please help me
you are then stuck in a catch 22 limbo.
Ah shit
we are on the same boat ✌️
I’ve been suffering for almost 2 years with this jealousy. Thank you so much for this help. Can’t express my thanks
Glad you're finding my work so valuable, Isaiah.
How is it going?
man this issue is plaguing my relationship. I didn't even know it was possible for me to have it!
Dish, tell us bro. This is a safe space for men. What was she up to in the past?!
Brian, me too man and the funny thing is i was never a jealous person!!!
This is actually it, I honestly thought I would never be like this. I never thought I was the jealous type.
Tajoneil its not being jealous its an evaluation
I would like to add my 2 cents. I think there are triggering events and levels to what makes men jealous. We all have different levels. In my example, I never cared about a partners past too much and usually if it came up in conversation the partner did not talk about the sex or how good it was with another man. Secondly, I never had to meet the ex or man they spoke about in person. In my current situation, I was volunteered information about all of her sex partners (short and long term). I was even told about the dynamics of the relationship and a lot about the men themselves.
I didn't like that information but it didnt spark any retroactive jealousy, just a little concern as to if these men are still around or would still be around her. Mine wasn't triggered until I met and ran into one of the guys she talked extensively about. I now had a VISUAL REPRESENTATION of exactly who she spoke about. Not only did that digust me, but it made me sick, hurt, jealous and shocked. My boundaries were crossed and it also made me look down on her, as I couldn't imagine them having sex in the first place. I am of the opinion that if I didn't have to hear so much about it, it would not have made me jealous or even care, I would have just said okay and moved on.
I feel super insecure. I love her but I see the boyfriends shes had in her past and I feel like the ugly duckling of the bunch and feel that if someone more attractive comes and starts talking to her she'll fall for them instead.
That's a matter of confidence (as you said) but also of trust. If youre really in love with her you should trust her that she wouldn't jump on every guy who's talking to her or even let others flirt with her. Always keep in mind that it's you she chose to be together with and nobody else. And you should be proud of that. But I still think that if those feelings are getting worse and worse and you keep having unnecessary fights, you should or can break up and find other people to be happy with, instead of going through that torture.
Bro I'm going through the same shit!
Bro 😞💔💔I’m sorry for u. I been through it to my guy
Mostly girls choose to settle with the ugly guy and cheat on him with a hunk.
Telling you from observation.
Men are no less they marry an innocent woman and then cheat on her with a ho
Dude, this is a tough one, in my experience women who go out with guys that are less attractive do this for the following reasons:
1) They have been hurt and want someone to be their band aid until they feel better about themselves. When they do they will either dump the guy or cheat on them.
2) If the guy has resources, money etc then they are generally after those rather then the guy. In addition to the "resource guy" they WILL have their hook-up, booty call guy. This is someone they find sexually attractive, they will limit intimacy with the resource guy. Normally resource guys are aware of the game with these sort of women and limit the role in the lives i.e. never live with them and never have a kid with them etc. Although, these can look like relationships they aren't so the point about cheating doesn't apply.
3) They know they can do anything and the guy will put up with it this includes cheating etc. These women trade on the insecurity of the guy, making him feel he will never get anyone better and therefore he should accept whatever she does without question. The clever ones never actually say this but I have heard of women who have directly said this to their partners.
As you have noticed her previous boyfriends were, you think, were more attractive than you. Therefore, I would suspect that 1) is applicable, the good looking guys have used and abused her and now she wants someone to massage her ego. Obviously, I have had to infer a lot here but that is how I see it.
My advice would be have fun with her, build up some sexual experience, but don't get serious, I know you said you love her but try and draw that back. I'm assuming you are young, learn from this experience.
Don't look into comment section before watching this video into the end. Now I have tears in my eyes by happiness. The relief i feel is amazing. Thanks. This isn't just a 16:43 long video. It takes way longer to understand and get your "shit" together.
and I just broke with her because of this. Well, I'm a virgin.
Happy you did that! I wish I did too soon after knowing. Thought it would work out somehow but it's been like 3 years and it still haunts me!
U did good
I appreciate you bro, you took a right decision.
She belong to the streets too?😐
💯
Dude, that was a very realistic approach to this situation. The 7th step really hitted me hard, I just did not think yet that "being ok that I will never love her past" is something normal. I mean, it is so obivous but maybe in this haze of bad feelings I've forgot it. Thank you, honestly. Now I need to reflect on it.
It's like being in a prison cell, but the cell door is open, you can't go out but staying makes you sick😔😔😔
I'm insecure about my own lack of success in sleeping around. That's why her successful past of it bothers me.
My association of westernized nightlife body-sharing and youthful sexual encounters is a net negative, and considering sexuality is a colossal part of our psyche, it's become as sensitivity area. My girlfriend and I argued about this last night. It feels so stupid. She can't change her past. I can't change mine.
Frankly I just feel like a little kid having a tantrum because I didn't get to play in the sand pit.
Wow it sounds like you described my situation exactly and I feel torn up about it.
Man I am with you on this ❤️❤️
It's been 11 months. How's the life now?
@@dragomegaman3711 Way better - I finally got a therapist (not because of this, I have depression) and WOW he helped me so much. He highlighted all my negative thought patterns. Came to terms with the past. It hardly bothers me now like it used to. Although I still would like to go get some.
@@furleysbrain how did you get over clinging on to the past? Something that I'm trying to work on.
There’s one important thing to keep in mind though when trying to have a “calm and rational” discussion with your girlfriend - she’ll only tell you what she knows you want to hear. At the end of the day it’s again only back to you decide to what extent you’re willing to believe that she won’t let you down. So all this video really says is that you either risk it or you let her go, there’s no other way around this problem.
Agreed
If she is special I guess need to risk it
@@raulmammadov850 yeah man me too
@@GoldCODMyt we are all sinners my boy and meeting the special person is not easy
No she won't always tell you what you want to hear. Some women are honest
see? thats one and the only reason that i do not want to get in a relationship because im 100% sure that i cant handle stuff like that and i do not want to get my mind busy and make a woman uncomfortable its just better to be single
david mandes recently got in to a relationship(first one) she already told a lot from her past and damn i was not expecting that, she has had at least 2 serious long lasting relationships, she has been raped, and she cheated on her last boyfriend AND i am only a virgin 😂. I cant sleep tonight because a guess it is just too much for me with no experience having my first gf with past like that
LVOskarliNE Exact. Seriously EXACT same situation here. I was a virgin recently, my badass current girlfriend came along and changed me, she claims to love me more than all of the past relationships she had and so.. but it‘s so hard to get over it and to know that you can‘t discover things anymore, only for you at least.
LVOskarliNE virgins for virgins! it's just unfair for a virgin man to has a used girlfriend same for girls not to mention that awkwardness when you see her ex .. the one that used her, animals haven't problems with past cuz they are animals !
Overall I'm happy that I've found her.. she changed me to something way better than I was before. She told me that eventho she discovered things, that she wants to rediscover them with me again in a good way. Yeah she has been "used" before, but at least I'm using her better now and she knows it haha.. this is all that counts. As the video tells us, maybe she wouldn't have met me if she didn't have the experience before.
@@koopa5504 How's the relationship so far? no trouble in paradise?
After looking for the answers to what just messed my mind. The struggle of months made me find this video of you. Thank you bro.
It’s very difficult when they lie about the past or keep things out and then the relationship gets deeper and after that, truths start to come out and little things they hid as well. That’s when it hurts because people will never be truly UPFRONT from the getgo
I feel this way because i am not comfortable with tge fact that other meb have had acess to her and i just cant imagine her doing those things with other men.
same
same hurts
Just date someone whose past doesn't bother you. It's that simple. Stop pretending you are okay with his/her past if you are not! It's not a psychological problem and it's not insecurity.
For example, if a girl/guy is not okay with, say, your height, why should they date you? Why should they pretend that they're okay with it if they are not? They will end up making you feel bad about yourself and making themselves feel guilty for doing that.
I am currently dating the kind of girl I always wanted to date but was too dumb to get. I dated several other girls that I was just not okay with. And for what? Insecure women/men will tell you that you have a problem and that you are the insecure one just to put you down or to sell you their "therapy" or whatever. Stop listening to them. Just know what you want and go get it-- that's what real confidence is. If you want a chocolate ice-cream but all the cool kids say the vanilla one is better because the chocolate one makes you look like a nerd, just put the vanilla ice-cream away, stop pretending you like it, tell them to f*ck off, and get your damn chocolate ice-cream, stupid!
Right, like there’s nothing insecure about demanding a girl who is a saint or a Virgin. Like the preference in and of itself does not tell you anything
God bless you for putting this video out, and may god bless and help all of us struggling with these demons, only when you face it you can fully understand the burden
Don’t worry kings👑 we will get through this together‼️
I just wanna say you should forget her past if you really love her, we all make mistakes and we learn from them as mentioned in the video before taking and decision think about your own past, feel easy about her past, the past dosent matters what matter is her, her trust and honestly, thinking about her past will only spoil or end ho th relationship and a break means you arent a real men cause you dont have the guts i had the same issue of my gf i used to think about the way she was touched and i used to make her cry but she always shared my pain and that was enough for me to love her maybe i am a coward for the society but i am a king and brave man to my partner if you have any kind of problem about your ex you can reach me, may you all get courage to get over this shitty thougts ameen 😇
We need more man with big heart like you in the comments. Not all relationship is worth to keep but if you know she is the one, you need to swallow the truth and be a man about it.
Bro plss help me😔🙏
thanks bro
I need help
my girlfriend didn’t sleep with anyone but she sent pictures to some guys before. i’ve been struggling pretty hard to get over it. i’ve been dating her for a year and a half and it’s still a struggle. i’ve always been a jealous person too. we’ve slept together but it still doesn’t change the fact that i feel like her body has already been revealed to somebody else before
You're thinking too much
Sending pics is really nothing
If she hasn’t slept with anyone
I wish i could switch places dude
@@arkham_miami what if had she kissed only with her ex?
Wait until you get older 😅
He only saw pictures, so think of it this way, if you see a pic of a ps5 doesn’t mean you own it or it’s yours. He saw her body but he will never have it . Her body is yours .
Holy moly! This is one of most brutally honest and actually level headed video i saw about this subject! Well done
He talks on and on to say nothing really useful. Here is much better: Your girlfriend's sexual past (and your own) should be disclosed as soon as a real emotional/sexual relationship develops between two people, and that is because a good relationship requires openness. Based on the exchange of this information, both parties can decide to either accept it and move forward with the relationship or not. It would be a serious breach of social /romantic contract to stay silent on that topic, for whatever reason withholding such important information until the relationship is quite advanced. At that relatively late stage, whether one discloses voluntarily or the partner finds out, it will be a betrayal done on purpose to mislead your man (or woman).
I always find it interesting that most people will pass over a dented can at the grocery store but, are not concerned about their partner's sexual past.
Working on it. I'm so jealous ND she deserves a man who treats her better. I know she loves me, but it is genuinely destroying my ego. I need to drop my ego. Good luck on you guys as well. Choose love, I know it's hard
I was virgin...but i married a divorced women...to be honest it doesnt bother me about her future..as a muslim i followed my prophet..he said in hadith..a man can choose 4 thingss in women..1.beauty,2wealth,3health,4righteousness..amongst them if they dont have beauty,wealth,health but they have righteous heart,you can marry her..but if she has beauty,wealth,health and she doesnt have righteous heart than dont marry her..our prophets 1st wife wasnt a virgin she was widow...when she died than he married again...same i loved my wife more than my life but she died 5 years ago in car accident..now i am married with another women...and she is virgin she doesnt judge me according to my past she loves me..plz dont judge someone beacause of her past
That was very helpful.
Sometimes I don't know how suddenly the gf past strikes my head I get very tensed I get headaches . I go mad sometimes.
I really truly love her very much . The one black mark on our relationship is her ex .
I the past I didn't have a gf she is my first love . I really need help . I get weaker sometimes . I want to forget about it . Once I taught I would go to a doctor and if I get hypnotized to forget about her past . I really need help . I want to forget about him
You have to let your love for your gf strengthen you, remember that you guys are together now and you have to leave the past where it is
I'm the same. I get jump scare thoughts of my gf and her exs having sex. I nearly had an accident today... It drives me mad and pushes her away.
Same brother, She's my first Gf and I'm a virgin before we met. At first, it was just nothing if she had BF's in the past and she's already not a virgin, but as time goes on, I've felt that feeling, it gave me anxiety attacks and it kills me inside, maybe we were expecting that our first's will be like us, but we ended up here, I Love her so much though but this thing pops out of my head, and I hate it so much.. maan, I dunno how to fix this, but I hope for the people who feels this feeling to be guided and be enlightened, one day, we will get rid of these.
Only got two choice for this bro break her heart and leave her like her ex done to her.. or be a real man and stand by her side.. think about the positive things about her.. there should be more of her than just her body or things about the past right (sorry if grammar is wrong..)
how are you now?? Did you men get over it?
If you realy love her or him you can accept their past and love them more.
Every one has a past.
You has a past too ,so just accept that it is life and past is gone.
Your girl or your boy is yours now not their ex's
Sorry for my bad english
I hope you would understand what i said
I my self have this problem too but i don't want to ruin my realationship beacause my girlfriend's past
Actually the time that she didn't even know me.
waww amazing
Good thinking
Actually, I don't even have a past of my own. Never did anything before she came into my life, so even the slightest thing of someone else appreciating her in the past (and that being mutual) just kills me.
Simp
Never thought I’d find myself here but I guess I was wrong
Exactly bro this shit is always in the back of my head
This is useful info and I'll work on applying it, but I do have a problem with the double standard, i.e. women saying about men that "once a cheater, always a cheater." But I'm supposed to ignore a woman's past because it made her wiser? And if I'm worried about a potential repeat due to admitted history, I'm being insecure?
No you shouldn't forgive anyone and put that burden on your head. Just find the person who's past and current behaviour matches with your preferences.
I’m going through this right now... I actually like her but I’m not sure I can get over certain things😐
How you doing now man?
Bro what happened to you ?
Mr Scruton bro what happened to you?
My gf told me her ex had a bigger penis than me to the point it hurt and was uncomfortable.
She told me not to mock me but because she was saying she prefers sex with me over something uncomfortable.
This obviously makes me feel extremely depressed and anxious all the time. I’m trying to get over it and I’ve slowly made some strides to get out of it but it’s been hard as hell. I’ve wanted to break up over it but I don’t want to let her past get in the way of our future. I’m not perfect as I too have told her some pretty bad things myself but only what she has asked.
Any advice to help ease my mind would be super helpful
the line "we sometimes want our partner all to ourselves- past, present and future" is so true , fate is so fucked up, i mean if only 2 of us met before anyother cud have been a different present...may be or may be not who knows
Sometimes love is not enough,,I stayed in a relationship for 13 years, when her past was tearing me apart,,,, she had 4 kids out of wedlock with a man that had 13 children,,,and even anal sex with him and to tell me ,I do it probably wasn't just with him,,,and a remark she made always stuck with me,,,she said you don't have to love a person to have sex with them,,,,I know it sounds judgement, but I'm a man of high morals and values,, and she always claimed to be a holy Christian woman,,to the point of putting herself above others..my advice is don't stay in a relationship when you know there pass is a problem for you...
A holy Christian would cross their legs and go to church.
Man, this is sooo cleaver! Thank you for this, it is really nice to know that I'm not the only one who feels that way.
only 1 EX GF started telling me about her past I just told her I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW nothing at all we spend 5 years together she was worried i would hear from others about her n sadly she was right cause in the end i just left her but i still feel guilty about it cause i was no better than her but when u hear so many saying her i had her its hard to accept it but all she was looking for was a partner she was happy with, my opinion a woman has just as much right as we have to enjoy herself as we have
So why did you leave her? what did she do in her past?
@@gbessone she did many things mate but most where for her financial survival n sometimes for her pleasures, don't we all do that when we have to need to? once we run into someone I knew n he kind of knew her pretty well where she was working the work she was doing n things like that soon after all my mates knew about her with eve lies on top since most of them where married they just started avoiding me, n a good friend of mine who knew all about her n he was ok with that told me they are all talking about her but each time they add more nasty things, I was also Not strong enough to stand up for her but hell how I wished I did i the end pressure was too much for both of us n we parted she was one of the nicest kindest person I have ever met, If I could turn the clock back I would a still been with her we all do big mistakes we regret afterwards, we all ask God for forgiveness why can we also forgive others?
The problem is getting to the truth to decide if you can accept it, but they don't want to sit down and communicate, which makes me feel unimportant enough or, let's say, less important than the past.
It feels like a vacuum and no traction to move with. Accepting it is only a choice if I can communicate with her.
The ideas sets into very loud emotions and I hate my emotions. I hate social media, it makes people do stupid things. I made past mistakes but I was never wreckless.
I'm not punishing her. I'm doing myself a favor. How she feels afterwards is her issue.. if she don't GAF when she tries to use a man as an emotional tampon ytf should you care or feel guilty for dumping her..
its a horrible feeling! i dont wanna feel like this RN 🥲
A woman's past doesn't matter *only* when the man's past was equal or worst to hers.
ruclips.net/video/1NEzGfs2lJs/видео.html
@@luisfilipe9692 seen it, loved it and I would love to introduce you to the red pill
I would like to add my 2 cents. I think there are triggering events and levels to what makes men jealous. We all have different levels. In my example, I never cared about a partners past too much and usually if it came up in conversation the partner did not talk about the sex or how good it was with another man. Secondly, I never had to meet the ex or man they spoke about in person. In my current situation, I was volunteered information about all of her sex partners (short and long term). I was even told about the dynamics of the relationship and a lot about the men themselves.
I didn't like that information but it didnt spark any retroactive jealousy, just a little concern as to if these men are still around or would still be around her. Mine wasn't triggered until I met and ran into one of the guys she talked extensively about. I now had a VISUAL REPRESENTATION of exactly who she spoke about. Not only did that digust me, but it made me sick, hurt, jealous and shocked. My boundaries were crossed and it also made me look down on her, as I couldn't imagine them having sex in the first place. I am of the opinion that if I didn't have to hear so much about it, it would not have made me jealous or even care, I would have just said okay and moved on.
Are u guyz still together?
I was struggling with my boyfriends past. This is SO helpful 🙏
Very glad to know.
Honey Bunny seriously how does a wonen struggle with a mans past other than the fact he maybe a fuckboy. You do realize women can get any guy they want as long as they have the looks
Knuckle Dragger That is not true.
Nun Ya that is very true quit living in your tiny little world it is beyond fact
Knuckle Dragger You’re not a woman so you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, as evidenced by your prior comments.
Im not sure why each individual man is jealous of his girlfriend’s past but I know what makes *me* jealous and I’d like to explain and get some feedback without childish replies. Ok, here goes...
Any woman who says “I don’t think about my past” is lying. See, it’s not just about the guys she’s slept with, it’s what she learned and did with those guys.
See if you can understand my example here;
So you’re dating a woman who has been with a few men prior to you. Eventually either the topic of sex comes up OR you get to having sex and she starts telling you what she likes. Many people will find this to be harmless and natural for a woman (or man but let’s stick to women on this one) to let her partner know what makes her feel good. Ok. I get why and how so many people would think it’s no big deal and use the age old excuse “Well, if you care about her you’ll care about pleasing her”. Gag me!
Keep in mind that this woman was once a virgin. For her to get to know what she likes, she has had to have MULTIPLE sexual encounters, either with the same man who took her virginity or several different men since she lost her virginity.
Let’s say guy #1, 2 and perhaps 3 all slept with this woman and she never said ANYTHING to them about what to do to her in bed. She let them be THEMSELVES. And they did what comes NATURALLY during sex. And in these moments, she discovered “Oh, I liked that”.
Now she’s with you. Now she’s literally giving YOU an INSTRUCTIONAL MANUAL on how to fuck her. Well then, so much for the bullshit line of “I don’t think about my past”. Yes they do. If you’re having sex with your new girlfriend for the first time in your new relationship and she starts saying “Do me doggy style. That’s my favorite position” or “Pull my hair”, or (my personal fav) “I like when *a guy* does______”, then hands down this woman is thinking about her past and NOT letting you be you during sex.
Sex is pretty simple. And during sex, we’re all going to most likely do the same things. But when a woman “knows” what she likes due to previous sexual experiences, she doesn’t let you do things to her in YOUR OWN TIME and COMFORT ZONE. She DEMANDS them immediately because the man or men who did those things that she liked are no longer with her and you’re now the lucky bastard to fill their shoes SEXUALLY.
She can hate the ground her exes walk on and even wish death upon them. But she damn sure likes how some of them fucked and now she wants to PROGRAM YOU to fuck like they did.
So, in essence, she’s not thinking you’re a great lover because you do great and amazing things to her, she’s thinking of you as a great lover because you followed her instructions based on OTHER MEN who did great and wonderful things to her.
How can you honestly sit back with a smile on your face and proudly lie to yourself that YOU are the best she’s ever had? She’s literally requesting you to fuck like someone else. Ask yourself this: When has my girlfriend (or wife) ever allowed me to do something on my own and I hear her tell me how much she loves when *I* do that to her as opposed to the “I like when A GUY...” nonsense.
If she likes when “a guy” does such and such, tell her there’s plenty of a guys out there that she can have random sex with to satisfy her desires based on her past. But that YOU are not trying to be in her life to be “a guy” but rather to be THE guy.
You follow? So I dunno if many of you men on here are just jealous of the woman having had sex before or if you’re feeling more along the lines as I am in that I don’t want a woman who comes with an instructional manual.
Just remember- some of those men who were there before you didn’t have to deal with her instruction manual. They got to be themselves and they were (in essence) her “teachers”.
There are plenty of men in the world who would love to date or marry a porn actress. I’m not one of those types of men. I’m looking for something more emotionally bonding.
Any thoughts? (Without insults please. Let’s actually talk here.)
Phil Great comment
Holy shit phil you made such an impact on me man with your comment
Thank you for that as mucb as it fucken hurt me thinking about my wife thank you
Anabel Aldaz - I just lost an amazing girlfriend because of my jealousies about her past. She said that she couldn’t be herself with me because of the things I told her about from our first conversation (we met on a dating site and met in person, it was an official relationship). But I wonder why she stuck around when she could have disagreed with me from day 1 and blocked my number.
But she actually did agree with me about not having an instructional manual. Then she tried to tell me I wasn’t doing what she liked which means she was DYING to give me those instructions.
Well, anyway, after the new year she dumped me and immediately went into another relationship with a guy that she rubbed in my face saying that he isn’t jealous of her past and wants to know all the things she already likes and he does them. Ok. I get it. But he apparently doesn’t mind the mental image of other men having done those things to her. I truly believe he’s the type to date a porn star. 🤷🏻♂️
I think I’m gonna post the video she made of us when I went to visit her in Florida. She posted it and took it down. But I just wanna get her goat 😁😁😁
Absolutely true and profound!
A good man does not want to be with a girl that’s been with everyone. I see nothing wrong with a minimal past of partners. The more partners one has the more trouble they will have pair bonding. I say ask the relevant questions and watch the body language to see if the truth is there. Too many partners equals disaster.
My husband is damaged. He had only two partners.
meatrealwishes only 2
The thing with me is, I love my girl to pieces and I know she loves me too, we tell eachother all the time and we’re so strong. But i can’t help but feel anxious and awful about her past. I know this sounds crazy and it makes me feel sick inside to think about her sleeping with others before me. Before we started going out we just saw eachother casually and we’re having casual sex, so we would talk about our past and laugh...but now it’s different. Especially because she did sleep around quite a lot but on the other end...so did I.
ruclips.net/video/1NEzGfs2lJs/видео.html
How are you guys doing? Did you cope? How?
Ahh I Never thought I would be in such a state one day. Bt I'm happy to knw um not alone. May we all get out of this together nd stay the happiest with our partners ❤️
this hurts way toooo much. i can't get over it since like a very long time
I cant elaborate how wonderful it was to hear this advice. Really appreciate it my friend
it’s such a fucking toxic trait of mine and i hate it, it’s making me love her less. i want to keep loving her and i know this is gonna sound bad, but i just feel disgusted.
how do you feel 7 months later? are you still with her?
@@gbessone probably not, this stuff is poison for relationships
@@kingzuna8007 He didn't answer though :(
I lost her because of this. She said she broke up with me for us both to change. I’m willing to completely change. Change that will show her I love her beyond everything.
Let her go ..Dylan ,,without being radical .. and try to find a woman who can overcome the past .. otherwise with that woman your life will be a nightmare ,,, you can take a test yourself ask for a month without contact and V ~ and how you react ,, otherwise .- move away
If you take issue and she says you are wrong to have issues- that is a bigger red flag than the subject matter. That's slipperly slop to gaslighting and it's already started with minimising you and things that cause you dissonance in the relationship and putting her adn her wants ahead of it. She is at that moment demanding you suffer ongoing break to any real intimate connection for her, to prove you love her - dirty past. If you think that is a good foundation for solid pair bonding (hint its not pair bonding at this point is polyamory, its just a question of frequency) for a family then have at it.
It's a waste of time if the values don't match. Even when teaching children, conflicts can arise with respect to parent's values on sex. It would be safe and better to know about his/her past + values before things get serious, that way one can make an informed decision. Even if there is a breakup, there is not much bad emotional vibe left.
Your past doesn't termine your values... Maybe her values changed dramatically because you know people change
@@ashley_brown6106
True that but sex and bonding is not for kicks and giggles like many in the West believe. Even though a person's values may change later in life but they still won't have the ability to successfully pair-bond with their new mate which will create a severe strain on the marriage.
The whole point of marriage and children, with the man slaving off and still having to worry or suspect when his wife would pull the trigger on him thru divorce which opens another can of worms for the man.
It would be impossible for a woman especially to pair bond with her new husband if she had already done all the dirty before marriage: Skin to skin, body to body sexual eye contact and that orgasm leaves a strong memory trail in the brain.
@@ashley_brown6106 But as a follow up if a man or a woman turns to God with genuine repentance and abstains from every form of sexual activity for a few yrs depending on the # of sexual sins and get sanctified through the regular study of the word of God, then there is a chance and hope for them to be sanctified.
But a lot of Christians are disingenuous and don't actually go through the process of sanctification and healing because its a very painful process. There is no secret prayer or mantra which will heal or sanctify a person instantly.
We all think we want the truth and answers until we get them and that's all that we have is just truth and thoughts that replay over and over in your mind like some fucked up movie
I’ve been there. Think it’s best having an overall idea but specifics it’s where it becomes detrimental. I know I have zero desire to share in depth details with any woman I dated
Guys the fact is you feel so because you love her....you get jealous of her...you think if she has done it before she would be doing it in future.Guys listen you love her and same does she...just recall the times when everything was normal when you didn't find out about her past. she's your girl you know better about her character.leaving her just bcoz she ain't virgin or whatsoever will make you feel guilty in the future when you finally find out these past and shits are normal with majority of people of this generation.
I was suffering from this very badly, and right now I'm coming out of this and did a video on my channel about how to deal with it
dealing with this now.. i've made big steps in coming to terms where im accepting and it not bother me as much. my gf truely does seem like she regrets thing or 2 in her past, when we talked about she started to cry hard, she does shit for me that I've never had anyother girl do.
come over and cook dinner or bring me food after work.
Wash and fold my clothes, other things like that where I feel she really loves me and Im not wanting to let this go over a past
ObamaBinLaden but then you think about it and act like it don’t bother you , no matter how great she treats you. I know .
I hope you got over it. People change, embrace it and reward it. It’s not fair for her or you to see a past version of her when the present one is right in front of you. You’re her choice bruv
Leave her
She don’t regret it she’s just telling you what you want to hear
8:32 Not helpful. Mostly the men who are here are the ones who restrained themselves. They had the level of Emotional Intelligence that their partner neglected before engaging in stuff she did
Thank you, you helped me to see life and people's past in a better way. I appreciate it from the bottom of my soul.
I took your advice. I have brought up her past in our conversations quite sometime.. and she has handled them well.. though she. Was hurt in them.. and yesterday I again remembered something and brought up the topic..we argued a lot... And I totally understand she has nothing to say her part because there's is nothing to fix..I took your advice and calmly talked to her on this . And we are back to normal.. i must say it's a difficult road.. and I am hurt though but I love her the most and she loves me .
I was never like this till I fell in love with someone fr and she's so amazing yet I'm going crazy thinking about her past bc she was actually honest and told me in detail and I kinda blew up on her
same here
my personal experiences if her past bothered me it was because she wouldn't shut up about & keep bragging about her ex's & still be friends with half of them & her ex's wasn't respecting that she was with someone else, if they would actually leave the past in the past where it belongs it wouldn't be half as bad, thank God I don't have this problem with the woman I'm with now, but my ex's if I was jealous it's because they brought it onto themselves, it's like it was a big immature shit test or something
I hate this, why can’t I just stop overthinking
I honestly feel like you'll never get over whatever it is that's bothering you, the only thing that happens is that you learn to not get as "'bothered" or your brain just slowly makes it a irrelevant memory. speaking from experience with this subject. I honestly just recommend to not ask questions that you don't want answered.
True, but I've heard from a man who is 65 yrs old and he still suffers from it today. He calls it 'purgatory'.
My current gf is 19 right now, she had daddy issues since her dad wasn't there at all, she grew up with her mom, and the father used to visit her lik a couple of times a month. She told me that she slept with over 19 guys from the age of 14 to 18 when we met. Since shes with me she settle down and she made a commitment for our relationship sake. But still bothers me the fact that she spend her teenage years with so many guys, she slept with the same 3 guys in different occasions for 2 and a half years, and she stoped talking to then when she met me because we fell in love, I used to be the same, I had more sexual partners than she did. I have her fb password and one night I came back drunk and did my "research" I found so many pictures and videos that I felt like throwing up, but I found out that she actually told these guys that she was done with them because she loves me, the guys kept texting her and she ignored them all, just for me, she really loves me I can tell, even our friends and family can say thet we are deeply in love, and the fact that at that short age she slept with so many people makes me sad, because most of them were way older than her.
This is an interesting fact.
When I first met her mother they were showing me pictures of her as a baby, then this picture showed up, I swear to god it was me for some reason holding this tiny baby, but no, it was her dad when he was my age holding her in hand as a newborn. I swear he is excactly like me, same ponytail, same skin and hair color, nose size and shape, same height, we both dress the same, we work as cooks or chefs however you wanna call it and he loves metal just like me, does she sees the father figure she didnt have in me? Thats why she stopped looking for some sort of love or acknowledge from all those guys she slept with since the moment she met me? I think the answer is yes. And I have a question, is that a good thing to have in a relashionship?
I'm willing to read all of your opinions
Love her. Its okay
I'm so glad I found this video... i was going crazy within myself... thank you so much zachary! 👍🏾
just broke up with my girl yesterday because of this guys it really hard out here loved her loads
@Guwpa same here bro but twice its just so hard i looked so crazy
@Guwpa i feel you i always get bipolar its like i love her crazy one day and then next day i think baout her past and hate her guts
@Guwpa bro that the same love her in the day at a night when i can think i hate her soo much its fucked
@@yung1252 this happens when at the beginning of relationships there are Lies and omissions that poison the future of relationships,
ruclips.net/video/N0jobFNnrZg/видео.html
Zach - I think most men only get “itchy” if they learn that a man or men in the past got more from the woman they are currently with. Everyone has a past, but when one learns that their significant other had previously been more driven to give more of themself, their interest, their sexuality, etc., it reasons to say that the new partner IS getting the short end of the stick. It’s actually healthy to expect to be given as much or more than those in the past (except for a beta-in-waiting). Why would anyone want less than their predecessors received? The one point we do agree on is to move on, and quickly, if a partner has decided that you just aren’t going to get what they gave to others. Don’t argue, don’t debate. Just leave. Some other woman WILL be “all that” for you. The quicker one quits settling after learning something that causes discomfort, the sooner one finds a better alternative.
women do not owe you the same things they gave other men. this is extraordinarily emotionally immature and i hope you seek help for this mentally ill way of thinking and behavior.
The thing is this was never something that bothered me, at all. And then I met my girlfriend who I love so damn much, she is the love of my life, and all of a sudden, something that never bothered me started haunting me, constantly with mind images of her with the other guys. How should I, how can I deal with the fact that other men had the chance to do whatever it is they wanted with her, how can I deal with this? Please help me, she is the love of my life, and I can’t seem to deal with this. Please help!
All kinds of resources for you here: www.retroactivejealousy.com
Only problem i have with my girlfriends Past is not her 9 partners originally she said 7. It’s fact she was dating 25-27 year olds when she was only 13
Oh my fucking god....
I am also bro.... Please say me how did u deal her.... Bcoz I don't know what to do ....😭 Please I need help bruh
@@poobeshbluespirit9044 what’s wrong explain
@@poobeshbluespirit9044 to many partners or she dated older men?
@@mageguy3 no ... But she had a ex on same age... Me and she are also same age.... I feel like a hypocrite... Since I can't take it over 😭
I'm disappointed but I still trying my best love her. She had alot sexual contact with her ex. Now idk how to react... My heart just broke after hearing it. She told me the truth..
Ah fuck, literally in the same position as you dude. But, it's nice to know were not alone :)
ruclips.net/video/1NEzGfs2lJs/видео.html
@@luisfilipe9692 what you trying to tell me...
Idk why it's bothering me so fucking much I'm starting to have second thoughts about our relationship. But gosh i love her so fucking much to do that
I relate bro it’s not easy to deal with but no one will be on your side about this unfortunately. It’s a battle that we have to fight alone because no one gets it
And I've lost that battle :))
@@xx-tv2fh do you regret it?
Guys stop simping for women's bad choice , women have standards but are never judged on it when men have standards you are ridiculed, attacked and called toxic. This guy is leading you into modern day financial slavery and simpton. You are worth so much more don't be a guy who they SETTLE for and has to pay for her past, you are worth so much more . Remember it's just your turn when a girl has a high body count, she is unable or very unlikely to pair bond and will use you. Move on and look for women who are higher quality be it in the west which is highly unlikely or go abroad and find a women with more conservative values.
We can at least agree that men, too, should have high standards, absolutely.
Hopefully you overcome this soon. 😭🙏 It hurts like hell.
I hate that this bothers me too though. My girlfriend has a difficult past and if I knew it before I met her, I would be have been too weak to let her in. I'm so happy I didn't care then because she is such an angel. She has a lot of exes and kissed some boys around who I know personally and one of them is one of my best friends, and that is the toughest one I think. But I will get over this stuff because I know it will be worth it🙏🏼
Those men who came here are afraid to lose their girlfriend 🤩
it is an honest and total truth, starting all over again frightens many Men, Nowadays there is a promiscuity of women the worst is the speech of seriousness and frankness from the past at the beginning of relationships.
I love her and I am very sure that she loves me equally or even more... But her past makes me insecure... I don't want this stupid feeling of insecurity. It's hard coz I truly do love her. I never thought that someone's past would ever bother me until I fell for her so hard. Even so... I am gonna get over this now no matter what.
She is more important to me than her past.
I am in love with this girl so much but the problem is that we never date each other and I really still love her so much. I really missed my girlfriend. I am a very shy person to talk with girls.
I was 21 played the field was ready to find the one found a beautiful 17 year old virgin dated her for 2 years married her.... Still married with 6 kids 20 years later guess what she still fit as hell.
Guys do your homework pick the right one prefererly younger and not a slapper the End.
Thank you very much This been helpful been struggling for Days. This have given me new hope.
thank you sir. god bless you sir. I think her past doest matter that much. its just me thinking a lot about it. I know I love her and I know she loves me too. so I will count her positives and not her mistakes she made in her past.
Best of luck paaji
Gurinder Singh tanwad veere
When my girlfriend and I got together, I was a virgin while she had already had 4 partners. It kills me bc I still have newbie excitement, like even over something little like having a hickey on my neck (strict Christian upbringing that I had to get over which took me multiple years), while she will be indifferent I’ll be super excited bc it’ll be a first for me while it’s nothing new for her. I’ve talked to her about how I feel and she says that it’s still special bc it’s with me but I’ve seen her do something new sexually and she gets extremely embarrassed and emotionally excited. It kills me bc my brain unconsciously compares the reactions and I know she doesn’t feel that same excitement over doing stuff she’s done before with me. I love her and she shows me endless amounts of affection but our sex life kills me inside sometimes
Totally get this! You are having the experience of a lifetime, for them, just another thing.
Its because she did a lot of things that I havent experianced.
this definitely helped a little, I got over my feelings for the most part early on in our relationship as she told me fairly early on about her past bow many how she felt about the regrets and all, I have always had the opinion that its your experiences that help build who you are but on occasion I do feel jealous in a way that I didn't get to be part of those experiences in her life that have shaped the woman i love today, I guess for me how i need to move forward is carry on making meaningful memories together and have turning points in our life together instead of our own so i can feel more a part of her than I do sometimes now.
Someone please tell me they were able to overcome this. I need to hear that
ruclips.net/video/1NEzGfs2lJs/видео.html
The problem is most people do not even have clues what they really want nor find values. They are always susceptible. Their thoughts and values are easy to shift by others or anything.
better not get into this catch 22 situation. Attraction makes one jump into this, one should realize that attraction is fake and shallow. Its a mirage. facial and body beauty fades away. its only a matter of time. I'd always prefer someone who isn't desperate to get into a relationship and respects herself, even better always waits until marriage to have sex (this isn't anything to do with any religion). Old fashioned and I like it that way.
I could never date a guy with a bad past... it would never sit well with me.
Thank you so much for this video. I already feel so much better.
You know it's our own mentality that hunts us, personally when I'm with my girl ,I never get such thoughts. I guess if someone is ready to walk extra miles, you should respect their feelings that they feel for you.
I’ve been a player for most my late teens and early 20s. Can’t believe I even have this insecurity. 🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️
Thank you, you are world best adviser for all men at this time.
Quite a compliment! Thanks.