Taking a Break in a Relationship: Do's and Don'ts
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- Опубликовано: 5 окт 2024
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Sometimes, in a serious relationship there comes a time when you and your partner feel the need to take a break, and put your relationship on pause. There are a lot different, healthy reasons that can lead you to take a break from your relationship. But, it’s important to note that taking a break doesn’t always work out.
Here are some Do’s and Don’ts you should consider if you and your partner decide that taking a break is the best decision for your relationship.
I needed this. Taking a break in a relationship is driving me crazy tbh. I'm a firm believer of either talking it out or break up. There's no in between. I'm new to cooling off so yeah, I need videos like this to help me. 😔
Did y’all get back together?
same here
Did you get back together?
Same. Going through it right now. It’s only been a day but I miss her and it’s going to be a long 2 weeks
@@Mountains4every’all get back together ? Atleast you only had to wait 2 weeks my girl saying could take months for her to get her shi together and I don’t know how to feel about it
Even healthy relationships need to take a break sometimes - we all need our own space, our own hobbies and even our own netflix series! Otherwise, the danger is too much co-dependency, which can lead to insecurity if there is an imbalance in levels of dependency. The trick is to find the right balance for you both.
Very true, Lesley!
Yes!!! This is my current situation. I want a break from my husband but not because I dont love him or I want a divorce. We've just been together every day for the last 13 years and I NEED some time alone to be ME. My soul is aching for it. I still love him. I dont ever see us getting divorced... But just like I like to send my kids to my sister's for a week in the summer. Im craving that time away from my husband too for a little while. So I can just be me.... I feel like "taking a break" in marriage sounds so bad, but it doesn't have to be so serious. Nobody assumes that when we ask our parents to take our kids for a weekend or even a whole week, that we are planning on cutting all ties with our kids, so why is it so drastic for married couples? I feel like time apart could be so mutually beneficial, and nobody talks about it.
My boyfriend and I are currently on a break. We had a lot of relationship conflict because of our own emotional problems and struggles. The intention is to get back together, but we both need time to breath and grow as people. It has been super difficult. Because of his emotions he wasn’t completely clear about everything and I was confused about what was happening and what all of it meant. We had a fight after a week and it wasn’t pretty but I finally understood what was happening. We both really believe that taking time to work on ourselves will make us better together.
@@vella8650 I thought about the break and did it but insecurities and anxiety won. O broke it off and felt guilty some days after. I hadn't been clear with some things and i hadn't been putting in effort for some months. Breaking up wasn't a good idea, but I gotta be consistent and remind myself that it's the correct choice: if I wasn't even sure that i needed him as a lover, he deserves something better.
*Update*
We got back together 3 weeks ago. Now I am able to look back at our time apart and comment on it. What I got to say is a few things. First, you may not realize it at first but you may realize that you also needed a break as well. It is not good to be in a relationship with someone who is pulling away, it is not fair to either of you. Having the break allows you both to heal from the pain you both were experiencing, and it allows you to come back stronger. Two, if they are asking for a break and not a breakup, and you do have proof or get proof that it is meant to be a break, it means that they still do care for you. There will be a lot of hurt that you feel and in the midst of it all you will start to question things. It is not easy, but you need to try your best to believe the facts rather than the feelings you are having. Three, during this time it is important for you to also ask yourself if you want to be in the relationship. It is not an easy question to ask yourself, since you love them so much, but it is an important one to ask yourself. Now don’t say to yourself “no, I don’t want to be with them because of the problems we have” if you can see yourself and them working those problems out, because you don’t want to run away from the situation just because you are insecure and hate the ambiguity. Four, you have to have ground rules. Nothing is worse than a break with no ground rules. To be wondering everyday about what is happening and what to expect is torture. Don’t just go with their ground rules, you need to come up with ground rules of your own. Respect yourself.
i see so many comments on insta etc saying things like “oo yeah we broke up after the break, but i hope yall are going to be okay” LIKE OK BRENDA THAT IS NOT GOING TO HELP US. UR SCARING ME.
"WE WERE ON A BREAK!" -Ross
😂
My partner and I were in a relationship for 10 years. I'm a freelance artist/illustrator and love to go on occasional bike trips. I asked my partner for a much needed break - a solo bike trip where I can also draw on my tablet. She said it was a good idea for both of us but later when we were getting close to that (healthy) break, she started panicking, she told me she has abandonment issues because of her parents. Later she started being fine again and chatting a lot on her phone. Seven days before the break she completely discarded me, monkey branched to a guy she knew :(
Sorry to hear that bro, but she did you a favor, now you know that she isn't a good pick for you.. you deserve better
Couldn't agree more. Clear communication is the key to a successful relationship
Definitely! Don't forget to subscribe 😊
And comprehension
This is really helpful. I’m in love with my boyfriend and we need to discuss how we both feel, and this makes me feel a lot better about it. I want what is best for the both of us.
I’m in the same boat right now. And he just suggested for us to be on a break. So I’m just taking it one day at a time
Same here. We can do this.
thank you so much, this is really positive, my partner ask for a break and I've been miserable
this video really helpful to help me calm down, thank you so much I hope you always healthy and always spread positive things
Our couple have always been against taking a break until we hit a point where the issues aren't being solved. Thank you so much for all of these tips, we have definitely implemented it.
Can I ask if now it’s better or are you guys dating?
@@wnatalia3281 a lot of down before ups because we actually broke up a long the way, let's say we're both at the better place now and we know a lot more about ourselves than before
Thank you for this!!! I took a big blow to my relationship by breaking a big boundary with my partner and I’m going to write each of these steps down and see what I want from my side of the break . Thank you !
broooo what did you do
@@simbadooo9055 doesn’t matter now we ended up breaking up like 3 months later 😭😭😭😭
Breaks are nothing more than changing the dynamics. It can be a way for a partner to see other people or keep a partner as a backup. It usually doesn’t end well. Once a partner requests a break, another maybe required in the future. If you like on and off again relationships or sharing your partners with others, breaks will work for you. Once a break is over, nothing will ever be the same again, might as well breakup and let your partner go and find happiness. Life doesn’t wait, and the one thing you can’t get back, is time.
I agree with this. My partner just did the same to me looked me in the face for 3 years telling she would never leave and we are perfect and she loves me. We’re together for life. Well two days ago out of nowhere that changed I got a text message not even to my face. A text message telling me she doesn’t know if she loves me anymore and doesn’t want to be with me and that there’s nothing left. She forced me to accept her break up break that she says she needs to be single for and she then promised but it’s not to meet people it’s not for anyone to touch her nobody will. She apparently promises and that she just needs to find herself again by having girls nights out and time to herself and time to meet new people without me. The worst bit is she sed she might never come back and that she doesn’t feel there’s anything left. So why the break ? Why not just split up completely or is that is what she’s did and she’s just using the term single and break. While telling me there’s nothing left and she doesn’t know if she loves me anymore. No matter how hard I cried or begged her to see we’re good and we have a family and we have come threw a lot of memories and stuff she didn’t care cold as ice didn’t care. This is what she needs and that’s it she sed.
@@shiro9950 My gf of 4 years asked for a “break”. I didn’t try to talk her out of it or make her feel bad. I did as she wished, I left. I didn’t ask for a timeline. I don’t seek to date anyone else, just simply work on becoming the best version of myself. I get calls and messages from but I don’t answer or respond, including deleting text messages without reading them. Not because I’m being mean spirited, I feel like I’ll be compelled to contact her and that would be selfish of me. I was hurt at first but then you realize that when you truly love and care for someone… you want them to succeed and be happy even if it’s without you being there.
@@standground7956 I get it but I also don’t agree if things where “ meant “ to happen we’d all have good life’s but we don’t we work our butt off for anything we have and if we pass up on the opportunity we miss out. I got my girl back
@@shiro9950 I agree! You do have to acknowledge that many people prolong relationships that eventually end. You got your girl back but are you happy? Is there a possibility that she’ll ask for another break? If you love her and care about her, why not let her go?
@@standground7956 100% I agree that people do try save a sinking ship. It takes two people at all times the second 1 stops it game over no matter how much you love them. Tbh I’m not sure if she will ask for another one. But as for happy yes I’m happy most of the time. Is it perfect ? Definitely not but what is perfect. I can only do my part and hope for the best
This video is helping me through this current break. This is my first time doing this so it’s very scary and nerve wracking since I’m so used to just saying bye to my past partners, never had the chance to actually discuss taking a break with my partner til now.
Did your break worked
@@daisee497 honestly no and ironically we just stopped being friends today. Mutual decision and no bad blood.
Today my girlfriend discussed her decision on taking a break. She’s currently going through a lot. She is currently in an eating disorder rehab centre. All her emotions have dabbed down a lot including the love and support for me. Because she’s working on herself the energy she has to give to towards me is very draining. Eventhough I made it clear that I don’t have expectations, she feels like she still has to fulfill some. It’s really difficult for me and I cannot wrap my head around yet, figuring she was my one and only person who I could talk to about my own issues. But I want to respect her expectations. It could take months until she’s in a state where we could try and reconnect. I’m really scared for the future. I hope we can get through all of this because we have gone through so incredibly much together already and 99.9% wouldn’t have stayed with her until this point. I might try to find a therapist, because I need to get all the thoughts off of my mind and make sense of it all
i dont agree with #8 its pretty much the entire point of a break. I can't do #1 in a LDR
I'm the one who told it 😓 I'm anxious if she's going to break up with me if this goes for long 😣😞
What happened?
So what happened?
There is no such thing as “a break”. That’s a break up. Period. If you can’t talk it out or find a way to resolve whatever the issue is the hit the door. I’m not gonna wait and be lead on because you can’t figure out what you want to do. Kevin Hart said it best “Let it float in the air…. And disappear.” Y’all need to stop playing games with people and start being adults. This is not high school.
Taking a break is code for "we need some distance between us as I sort out the end of this relationship." There is no "taking a break" to help the relationship. It's over, move on.
that's not correct. my boyfriend and i took a break 1 year ago and after 2 weeks of not speaking we both realised that we wanted to stay together, but even then we continued the break for 2 more weeks. taking that break gave us both time to improve ourselves to improve our relationship. we came back stronger than ever and we still are now, breaks don't always mean the end in a relationship. a break in a healthy relationship should mean taking a couple weeks to recoup after a fight, if you really love each other and you know you want to be together, a break will always end better for both parties than just breaking up when something goes wrong.
I needed this this is really hard. I want to be better for my lover I care for him too much.
I always meet someone new during a break. I guess it’s because I’m an stick it through and grow type of guy.
Why's it hurt so much
frl 😂
Thanks a lot! I'm looking forward to healthily employing these tools for my break
I got into a fight with him yesterday and I took it as us just breaking up, when to be honest he just wanted a break to reflect. Im scared because I feel he won't come back but he is his own person and requires time
did you guys get back to together?
@@Ireneeeee27 no we didn’t my baby. He said he wanted to be single a month after I posted that. I’ve healed. Are you going through a breakup of your own?
@@hellokittie3977 yes I am, he wanted to end because of the petty fights we had everyday. I called his friend he then talked to him. We ended up on a decision that he wants a 6 month no contact. But he’s saying that he isn’t quite sure if he’ll still have the feelings
@@Ireneeeee27 that sounds like a breakup to me. In as much as you most likely don’t want to hear it, I suggest you move on. It’s going to be hard but my best advice for you is that you feel and express every single emotion you need to feel right now. That way you move on faster and heal properly. Don’t use anyone to get over him. Don’t go out and pretend everything is fine when it’s not. You have to become whole again on your own. One thing I’ve learnt is that no man wants to be away from the woman he loves. The fact that he is asking for space for half a year is insane. If it was a shorter period of time I’d understand but he’s gone my baby. I wish you all the best 🤍
@@Ireneeeee27hey, how are things after 8 months? are you still without him and are you coping okay? i hope you’re doing good regardless of what your situation is x
I've been using this time to stream more and I made a brand new best friend! I am really happy! It's just a shame she isn't happy, i mean that's why we took our break in the first place
Usually breaks for me end up where my partner is screwing someone else behind my back.
We are calling this a break up, But we are not dating other people just focusing on ourselves, we said a break would be good but the title of boyfriend girlfriend might intimidate the idea of a break and not work. So is a breakup okay? It was a health break break up
Me and my bf just took a break last night. Thxs for this, i had no idea what we were doing 😅
My boyfriend and I are on a two weeks break, the first week just ended, I really hope we don’t break up🥺
How did it go?
@Luna We have both made mistakes in the relationship (him: a decrease in effort Me: being overbearing) I got into an argument about his lack of effort and then I was being overbearing with trying to fix it when he go distant after I said something I shouldn't have during the argument.
We are both on a break and I hope that we can both improve after this. Take the break to look at what we can do different to improve the relationship. I'm only on day two and it's hard.
@@asmrsleep3079 how is it going??
@@anonymous-xe5it how it’s going
Your tips came a bit late, the suggestion of the break to me without warning over the phone... its not like I had a list in my head of how to approach this.
What happened?
How do I get over the pain of feeling rejected and not good enough. I know i’m ‘good enough’, I really did do my absolute best and he told me I couldn’t have done better, and I understand if that spark just kind of fades for someone. But how do I process that if he wants to get back together? How can I trust in the fact he isn’t just gonna lose interest again in a few more months? I want my relationship to work, but i’m just so immensely heart broken by the fact that he does not want to be with me right now.
Any tips?
Same situation but roles reversed im blindsided but at the same time treated my highschool sweetheart of four years poorly the last few months not showing how much I care etc, she needs time because she dosent know what she wants she says and I can say I trust and respect her enough to see her life is hectic right now and her being unhappy with our relationship didn’t help her.
Im hoping showing her in my actions and no longer rambling on with words maybe if we’re meant to be the space will be healthy for the both of us and we can rebuild a better relationship but if not at least im taking care of myself in my actions improving everyday
The thing that kills me right now maybe the most is that I’m still holding out hope that I get her back. We didn’t discuss any of it before but after. And we don’t seem to see eye to eye on the seeing other people thing. I’ve seen plenty of people and was committed to her but I had my issues. She had love for me but is talking about seeing other men even if that was sexually. And she said she wanted nothing serious with the other men she talked too. I’m being supportive but I’m also scared because I can’t and don’t want to move on
same happened today to me.. i moved out but i want to get back now.. What do i do?
It’s day 3 for me now. I’m eating again, started going to the gym. Did have a little angry phase last night and was kinda scary cuz it was turning into hate for women. But I quickly caught it and caught my head. Maybe it’s a good step for me because she had been talking to me today the most in a while. And honestly that’s all that matters because at the end of the day, we love each other and she is just living life that she didn’t have as a kid. As long as she is okay I’m okay
Noo :( im busy with my studies and she wants me to focus
ME TOO
Me being a break from my partner has only made me realise that i want to be single … now what
love the rules. Down to earth andeasy to follow
really good info. thank you!
Hi Blair! I'm happy to hear that you found this to be helpful. Don't forget to subscribe 😊
I'm in a long distance relationship, and I was just on video call with my gf yesterday night talking about a potential breakup after 16 months of being together. She wanted it to work out, but my love language is physical touch and we barely see each other...so end of story, we decided to be on break so I can focus and figure out what I wanted (because I'm the person who initiated the "breakup"/break) any tips or advice on what I can do so im just not crying or being depressed over this hard truth?
I’m in the same situation as you buddy. Find hobbies and activities you’re passionate about to fill the time. Make new friends, go out if your comfort zone. Just broaden your horizons. And don’t, I repeat, don’t, text her.
Don't break up if you both love each other and don't wanna give. That's rare. On a similar boat as you. I understand the pain. Stay busy. Take care of your skin, hair, workout, and try to go out more for walks etc. The more you stay indoors alone, you'll be sad. This is what I think. Get back together buddy. She loves you!
I’m same as you, not yet asking my boyfriend a break. LDR is not easy. As long as you guys have ground rules then that’s fine. Sit with your feelings and figure out what you need to figure out
I got split up with over a text she needs to be single but she won’t go with other people but she needs to be single so she can find herself again not sure where it’s came from 2 weeks prior she was all over me lol and she was going nowhere and so on. But yeah I’ve been forced to let her go with no guarantee she’ll be back I’ve just to accept it and be her friend during the break up
Don't be her friend. You guys need some space
I feel like doesn't matter who decide "we need a break" and whoever respond okay and how long a break we need? If he/she respond idk I'm not sure then that right there stop and don't waste your time. Move on and good bye cause what will happen is, she/he will go out on dates behind your back then one day he/she will say hey we are done okay then other person who been respectful and giving space been clowned.
So if a woman ever told me we need a break, I'll ask her time frame and she doesn't give me the answer, then bye bye cause I ain't going to be the one being stupid at the end finding out she move on either without or even telling me at the end bye haha.
Great content 👌
Thanks Sharavanan! Don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss out on any new videos 😊
I just started taking a break from relationship yesterday a fear if it won't work, I wanted to work 💔💔😞😞 😢 I miss him 💔 💔 he still calling me babe last night during my break what's that mean? I wanna date him again 😭😢 my partner said he's not feeling the same way like he used
Heyy, my boyfriend and I are on a break too.
Do you want to talk??
@@malkiadebbie update me and him got back together but yeah I still want to talk. How are you both doing ?
@@malkiadebbie hey I’m in the same boat. Can we talk??
@@Memes-mg3py ya
I'm in the same situation 😢😢
Thank you for this! It really does help me thanks!
I wanted to hear what you had to say, but could not block out that crazy music ... had to bail : (
great video!
Hi my bf wants cool- off he gave me time frame like 3-6 months. And he said after those months if we are going to meet again, if it works out he said it's good and he will marry me. He's depressed and stress from work and family problem and we always fighting because of our own problems. He said that it's a hard decision, he's crying in pain and said he wants to retrieve his love for me he wants rest from love or relationship or me. He cannot focus. But I want to court him and bring back what's lost. Is his love for me really slowly gone?. But he said he hopes that our promises going to work. We talk before cooling off. Is it okay if I court him and show him my love while cool off?
Is it good to talk or communicate with your partner during a break?
No, that defeats the purpose of a break
i'm on a break with my boyfriend right now and we still do daily check ins and say good morning and good night to each other but it's really nothing more than that and we can both tell that the time we're apart is helping our relationship grow stronger. this reply is a year late but maybe it'll help you in the future.
@@ilovechristopheredwinbreauxhows it going??
@@carina_leii our break was only a month long. it ended about 20 days ago and we're still together! haven't broken up. talking every day even if it was just 5 minutes definitely helped! :)
I took a break because of depresion off
If you think by depresion i talk about pain i mean i hate myself
@@damianmandras8283 I feel the same way I tried unalive myself
Whatever i just discoveret that she took it as a break up after gramiticaly mistaken brake ans placet acidentaly an up and now im even more depreset
@@damianmandras8283 don’t give up.
Ehh is more like an anxiety and whats worse my subconstient canot imagine a life withoith her for that long is bether to forget the past
Background music is so distracting
Come on their aint no rules. In Love and War
My boyfriend wanted a one week break😭
Results?
How’d it go?
My girlfriend kept this decision for herself during 6 months. How long should I wait before talking to her about this. Since she took 6 months to decide this should i give her more time?
dump her yesterday
The music ata the backgroung is pathetic
Dam it...just when i thought i may find a vid to help me and its clouded with stupid music and shit audio proven to me by subtitles...
Break = letting Tyrone tap it and have the sucker as a backup option. You want to doom your relationship? Do a break/pause.
My boyfriend said he need a break from me. I posted our picture on social media and all his co-workers see it . He said he need private life in to his job.
What should I do right now. I miss him. He calls me every day. But now…..!