Wow...Through your video I had the same realization that you did. I have a really difficult time asking for help as well. I would rather try and do something myself and fail than ask for help and succeed at something. I didn’t question myself as to why this was, but holy crap you just made it click in my brain. It’s the same reason as it is for you: that I don’t feel like I matter enough to inconvenience another human. I already struggle to feel valid in my existence, let alone trouble someone else for a favor. When people offer assistance, I refuse stubbornly until it’s made obvious by multiple failures that I need help. I know this ties back directly to trauma-I was a parentified child: I took care of myself and made sure to not bother anyone else in the process or I would be punished. It’s engrained in me to be independent. This would’ve never clicked in my mind though if I hadn’t watched your video. Thank you❤️ (I hope you’re doing well in your recovery)
So to tell you a secret (not really a secret haha), I filmed this video once before and just talked about the stubbornness and vulnerability being reasons why I couldn't accept help, and when I was almost done with it, this realization hit me and I was like, "OH...that's not [all of] it. Its about how worthy I see myself." ...and then I re-filmed the whole thing. I had never thought about that at all before...I'm so, so glad that it connected with you. But sorry that you struggle with the same thing...its such a hard thing to try to work out of, at least for me, its a pretty deeply ingrained habbit. And what you said about refusing assistance until you make it obvious by multiple failures that you need help - gosh that's my life! ;-) I absolutely empathize with you there, too....we're both figuring out this journey together :-)
I have a problem asking for help and I'm in a challenging place because of that. What you've said is so powerful - you need to believe you're valuable. Thank you.
Great advice, you made me cry!!! I also have to work on asking for help also, I am hopefully getting there, I also hate the feeling of being a burden, I love feeling independant, because if I can do and get through everything myself I dont need anyone to do anything for me, it is so great to see you back on Trauma talk, please just take it easy as you deserve it
You and me both girl! Exactly...I’d rather go without most days than being a burden. I don’t want to ever need anyone to do anything for me - but I’m trying to slowly and surely break that down. Thank you so much, it’s so good to be back on here with you guys and making videos!
@@TraumaTalk I think it is great that we are working on it, because we all need help every now and then, but it is really difficult but we will all get there
I just searched RUclips for "why is it hard to ask for help" this video helped me to understand the cause much better than all the other. Thank you for sharing 🤗. It helped me too )
Just what I've been thinking about lately... Thank you for sharing your feelings about getting help, I can definitely relate. You need and deserve help this time. And you would deserve it even if you didn't help so many people before this (which you did, me included)! So let yourself rest and enjoy all this help your amazing husband and family are happy to give you. We will be here patiently waiting, excited for your new content. Take care
You know what, I think you are 100% correct...I didn't even think about that. In a lot of ways they are the same thing. When someone reaches out a hand in kindness, that is an act of love. So when we cannot accept it or ask for it, then we are having difficulty accepting or receiving love...well said, my friend!
LittleLulubee that’s a great idea!! I appreciate that! 😊 the only bummer is that we live in a tri-level so there are a lot of stairs to get to any room so I stay in the downstairs which just has a living room and bathroom. Bottled water is a great idea!
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
Wow...Through your video I had the same realization that you did. I have a really difficult time asking for help as well. I would rather try and do something myself and fail than ask for help and succeed at something. I didn’t question myself as to why this was, but holy crap you just made it click in my brain. It’s the same reason as it is for you: that I don’t feel like I matter enough to inconvenience another human. I already struggle to feel valid in my existence, let alone trouble someone else for a favor. When people offer assistance, I refuse stubbornly until it’s made obvious by multiple failures that I need help. I know this ties back directly to trauma-I was a parentified child: I took care of myself and made sure to not bother anyone else in the process or I would be punished. It’s engrained in me to be independent. This would’ve never clicked in my mind though if I hadn’t watched your video. Thank you❤️ (I hope you’re doing well in your recovery)
So to tell you a secret (not really a secret haha), I filmed this video once before and just talked about the stubbornness and vulnerability being reasons why I couldn't accept help, and when I was almost done with it, this realization hit me and I was like, "OH...that's not [all of] it. Its about how worthy I see myself." ...and then I re-filmed the whole thing. I had never thought about that at all before...I'm so, so glad that it connected with you. But sorry that you struggle with the same thing...its such a hard thing to try to work out of, at least for me, its a pretty deeply ingrained habbit. And what you said about refusing assistance until you make it obvious by multiple failures that you need help - gosh that's my life! ;-) I absolutely empathize with you there, too....we're both figuring out this journey together :-)
I have a problem asking for help and I'm in a challenging place because of that. What you've said is so powerful - you need to believe you're valuable. Thank you.
You deserve it!!! You’ve helped me!
J Cat Awh thank you so, so much!!!
Great advice, you made me cry!!! I also have to work on asking for help also, I am hopefully getting there, I also hate the feeling of being a burden, I love feeling independant, because if I can do and get through everything myself I dont need anyone to do anything for me, it is so great to see you back on Trauma talk, please just take it easy as you deserve it
You and me both girl! Exactly...I’d rather go without most days than being a burden. I don’t want to ever need anyone to do anything for me - but I’m trying to slowly and surely break that down. Thank you so much, it’s so good to be back on here with you guys and making videos!
@@TraumaTalk I think it is great that we are working on it, because we all need help every now and then, but it is really difficult but we will all get there
Excellent! You have lifted so many others up and given them the boost of strength they need to lift themselves up.
I just searched RUclips for "why is it hard to ask for help" this video helped me to understand the cause much better than all the other. Thank you for sharing 🤗. It helped me too )
Aw I’m so glad! Thank you so much for sharing and all the best to you! 💜
me too.
Exactly, me too!
Just what I've been thinking about lately... Thank you for sharing your feelings about getting help, I can definitely relate. You need and deserve help this time. And you would deserve it even if you didn't help so many people before this (which you did, me included)! So let yourself rest and enjoy all this help your amazing husband and family are happy to give you. We will be here patiently waiting, excited for your new content. Take care
Iwanttoplaymymusic your comment brought a really big smile to my face! 💜 Thank you so much! You are so kind - and encouraging!
I feel like this applies to love too. It’s so hard for me to accept help & love from others
You know what, I think you are 100% correct...I didn't even think about that. In a lot of ways they are the same thing. When someone reaches out a hand in kindness, that is an act of love. So when we cannot accept it or ask for it, then we are having difficulty accepting or receiving love...well said, my friend!
Trauma Talk Thanks 😂
Thank you for the video! Yes. this totally makes sense!
Tears…😢❤
You are beautiful I hope things are going well for you, I have been through some shit, it was very hard to ask
My mrs walked out on me before my surgery
Off topic, but maybe you could put bottles of water in every room
LittleLulubee that’s a great idea!! I appreciate that! 😊 the only bummer is that we live in a tri-level so there are a lot of stairs to get to any room so I stay in the downstairs which just has a living room and bathroom. Bottled water is a great idea!
Oh you have a husband