This is the core of Buddhism teaching. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional and suffering is keeping you from being happy. This was a great speech, very comprehensive way of describing it
Now this is a blueprint for emotional growth. By embracing acceptance and reshaping our thoughts, we can confront pain with resilience. Her journey shows that while pain is part of life, the suffering we endure is often a construct of our own narratives
Thank you. Yes, that's exactly it. It was an important lesson for me. But I need to remind myself of each day because it's easy to slip into my old way of thinking. "Growth" is the operative word here, for sure. A practice and growth, thanks for your comment,
I think her experience really shows how yes pain is inevitable, but our response to it has the power to shape our whole life. Choosing to accept the pain but also having constructive thoughts is a really amazing form of self-empowerment.
Saw a clip of this talk on fb reels and I knew I had to listen to the whole thing. Your video deserves way more attention! I went through a bad breakup and exactly like you said I had so many thoughts that made me self blame and question my sense of self worth. It’s taken me 1.5 years but it’s the first time in this long journey that I feel like I’m finally seeing a path forward, accepting the breakup, not blaming myself, but seeing the new chapter of my life and being excited about it. Also my mom is a radiologist too so this hit hard! Thank you so much for sharing. Everybody needs to hear this. You’re right, pain is inevitable but we have to learn how to accept and move through it. Beautifully said.
Jennifer, thank you for sharing this. It is exactly why I wanted to get my message out. I am so glad to hear you finally see a path forward. This means a lot to me.
Thank you for this comment. I know what you mean about life coaches getting a bad rap. I was skeptical too, and it really shocked me when it changed my life.
Maggie, what a powerful and moving experience/reflection. Recognize, accept and adjust. Love it: pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Never to late to learn that. Thanks for sharing.
Maggie's journey demonstrates the role of thought in shaping our emotional landscape. The idea that pain is inevitable but suffering is optional provides a framework to navigate adversity with resilience.
I took notes on this as it seems to me that none of us are immune from experiencing painful realities. This was inspiring, candid, and helpfully practical! Thank you!
I can relate to the struggle of blaming myself in difficult situations. Our thoughts can create unnecessary suffering and choosing acceptance is a powerful step towards healing.
"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms-to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.” What an incredible human being Viktor Frankl was.
As a mother who has also suffered a significant loss, watching this talk was both emotional and empowering. “Suffering is a choice…” - wow. Is it really my choice to break my own chains? It took me a while to marinade on those words and to comment here, and the more I have been thinking about it these simply words, the more I begin to believe that guilt, suffering, and stagnant pain are releasable through choice, dare I choose to take steps toward loving myself. Maggie, you are a gem and a brilliant life coach - to have applied your own transition from suffering to clarity after so much endured as a mom and to then share with others and help bring fellow women and moms to the same transition is commendable. Thank you for sharing your journey.
The analogy of pain being inevitable but suffering being optional really struck a chord with me. It's a reminder to choose thoughts that empower us and lead to growth.
I think Maggie's insights and the journey she's been on really show the importance of understanding your own pain, and how choosing thoughts that promote acceptance can lead to personal growth and transformation. Her story reflects the idea that while pain is a part of life, suffering is often a product of our responses to it. 🌺🌞
This is a must listen - as a mother of a child with a disability, it's all in changing the way you think about something. Truly, no less than life-changing. Listen to this talk!
While we can't change every circumstance, altering our thoughts can shape our perception of suffering and open up possibilities for growth. 🌟💪Thank you for this excellent talk!
Wow. It's amazing how as humans our default mode is automatically so myopic. It's incredible how you turned something so painful and challenging into a true learning moment so that others can have a path to clarity. Thank you!
Maggie's experience highlights the power of our thoughts in shaping our emotional responses. Accepting pain doesn't mean avoiding it; it means choosing thoughts that promote growth and healing. 🌟🌈
This TED talk has great storytelling, perfect pacing and tons of emotional impact. I learned a lot about the difference between pain and suffering, and will be incorporating the 3 Steps into my own life.
By embracing pain and selecting thoughts that encourage acceptance, we can reframe our suffering into a catalyst for personal development. Her story highlights the power of introspection and the choices we make in navigating life's challenges. 🌺🌞
This talk touched my heart. It's a beautiful reminder that while we can't control what happens to us, we can control how we respond. Acceptance is key to finding strength and moving forward.
I love how she teaches us about embracing acceptance in the face of painful realities. It's a reminder that while we can't control everything, we can shape our responses. 🌺🌞
I think blaming ourselves happens because we're so desperate to find a meaning or cause, and blame is kind of like the second best things to finding that. Be kind to yourselves everyone ❤❤
I really like the idea of having this amount of control over your thoughts. You have to, otherwise they control you, and they're not always right, or positive.
Yes! Well done. Suffering is optional. Take control of your thoughts. Choose the thought that frees the guilt, that offers acceptance. I will share this in my groups with moms who have addicted loved ones and believe it's their fault. They often suffer too.
You've got to have a SOLID foundation in place in order to make this choice and today's world, cementing that solid foundation is easier said than done.
This talk makes some really good points about the power of perspective. Accepting and reshaping our thoughts isn't about denying reality but about choosing what empowers us to cope, learn and find new avenues of growth
Whn we know bettre we can do better! This is an awesome concept and very delivered very well. My heart breaks for your daughters illness yet triumphs for your willingness and ability to share this with the world to help others! You are an amazing human being!
Profound suffering might require a broader toolkit, including therapy, community, and coping strategies tailored to individual experiences but I genuinely believe that the conversations we have with ourselves and our mindset can help HUGE along the way.
Wow, Maggie! You bring such a grounded presence and simple (but not easy!) solution to ease the pain of anyone who is suffering. I love your clarity, your stories, and your heart. I am so proud of you, and I'm sure Nell is as well. Thank you for sharing your and Nell's story with the world :)
This is an incredible story of a mother's belief with a young child who has an incurable condition and how she endures it. it's a must-watch video for everyone who goes through adversity and how they can cope with it. Well done Dr. Maggie Kang, I salute you for putting it out there.
I want to believe in the power of shifting our mindset. By embracing pain and choosing thoughts that promote growth, we can redirect suffering into empowerment. What happens though, when some of us shift, and others don't? It's very difficult to continue to choose to observe, instead of engaging, when those around you tend to shift blame instead of self-awareness.
So often I get lost in my own negative and often habitual, thought processes. Thank you for bringing clarity and achievability to such an easy trap to get stuck into!
While changing our thoughts can impact our emotional state, it might not be as simple as choosing a different thought. Realities like illness often evoke complex feelings beyond immediate control
I think this is a really inspiring approach but it's also important to recognize that choosing thoughts to reduce suffering might not be a universal solution... sometimes whatever the situation is that has caused us pain is so much that it really impacts our ability to even function, let alone choose our mindset.
Agreed. I wanted to qualify this too in my talk but I had to cut out so much to stay within the time limit. But I agree with you. If one is in a very activated state of mind, accessing thoughts to choose may not be available.
Absolutely! I loved that I could share a message about the difference between pain and suffering through a personal story about my daughter's rare disease diagnosis AND to be able to bring awareness to NMO. Thank you.
I agree we should be conscious of how our thought processes contribute to our healing process! I try to allow myself to feel the whole range of emotions and then just let it go.
This is a great message and I relate. It is challenging to move beyond our pain if we never truly accept and deal with it. I've vacillated between the desire to suffer and the need to heal. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Maggie, for reminding us to move through our pain to the other side. I love the image that, collectively, the micro-moments of well-being become your life raft.
Yes, moving through pain and micro-moments becoming my life raft! I'm so glad you appreciated that - I actually added those details in the last week just before the talk!! I am so glad I did.
This journey shows how acknowledging pain and adjusting the narrative around it can lead to mastery and growth. We have so much more agency over our emotions than we think, this talk shows how you can get there.
This was so powerful. Maggie does a beautiful job of taking me through her journey and leaving me feeling more hopeful and encouraged to be able to accept painful realities that will inevitably show up. I now have some great tools at my fingertips to help me as they do. Thank you Maggie.
Wow, Maggie! What a great talk and a fantastic idea worth sharing! Thank you for sharing your message with the world! It's made a significant impact on me and I am sure other viewers will learn a lot from this as well. Simply, thank you for sharing your journey with us.
This is truly incredible. I love the way you were able to change your mindset and provided such a personal story to show the path. You give me hope for myself and others. Life can be so painful but that does not mean one has to fall apart. Thank you
Thank you for helping me understand the difference between pain and suffering. Your story makes the distinction and power we have in choosing to not suffer clear and doable. Reminding me that there really are things we do have control over, even when it feels we are drowning in pain.
This is the core of Buddhism teaching. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional and suffering is keeping you from being happy.
This was a great speech, very comprehensive way of describing it
1. Choose your thoughts
2. Question your thoughts
3. Choose the thought that feels like acceptance
An aha moment for Maggie when her life coach made her aware of her negative thoughts and their flow on effects.
Definite aha moment. Ty for your comment.
Becoming aware of our thoughts, questioning them, and choosing acceptance can truly make a difference in our experience of pain.
100%, thank you for sharing.
I'm all for this, just because something hurts doesn't mean you have to make yourself suffer.
So true. I still have to remind myself of this. Thank you.😊
Now this is a blueprint for emotional growth. By embracing acceptance and reshaping our thoughts, we can confront pain with resilience. Her journey shows that while pain is part of life, the suffering we endure is often a construct of our own narratives
Thank you. Yes, that's exactly it. It was an important lesson for me. But I need to remind myself of each day because it's easy to slip into my old way of thinking. "Growth" is the operative word here, for sure. A practice and growth, thanks for your comment,
I think her experience really shows how yes pain is inevitable, but our response to it has the power to shape our whole life. Choosing to accept the pain but also having constructive thoughts is a really amazing form of self-empowerment.
Saw a clip of this talk on fb reels and I knew I had to listen to the whole thing. Your video deserves way more attention! I went through a bad breakup and exactly like you said I had so many thoughts that made me self blame and question my sense of self worth. It’s taken me 1.5 years but it’s the first time in this long journey that I feel like I’m finally seeing a path forward, accepting the breakup, not blaming myself, but seeing the new chapter of my life and being excited about it.
Also my mom is a radiologist too so this hit hard! Thank you so much for sharing. Everybody needs to hear this. You’re right, pain is inevitable but we have to learn how to accept and move through it. Beautifully said.
I agree. Maggie’s message can apply to everyone.
Jennifer, thank you for sharing this. It is exactly why I wanted to get my message out. I am so glad to hear you finally see a path forward. This means a lot to me.
Life coaches sometimes get a bad rap but their fresh perspective can be what you need to turn a situation around. Amazing work Maggie!
Thank you for this comment. I know what you mean about life coaches getting a bad rap. I was skeptical too, and it really shocked me when it changed my life.
Maggie, what a powerful and moving experience/reflection. Recognize, accept and adjust. Love it: pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Never to late to learn that. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, Mike!
Maggie's journey demonstrates the role of thought in shaping our emotional landscape. The idea that pain is inevitable but suffering is optional provides a framework to navigate adversity with resilience.
I took notes on this as it seems to me that none of us are immune from experiencing painful realities. This was inspiring, candid, and helpfully practical! Thank you!
Thank you, Laurel! ❤
Maggie, such a powerful story and life-changing insights. Pain is unavoidable - suffering is optional.
Thank you for appreciating my message about pain and suffering.
I can relate to the struggle of blaming myself in difficult situations. Our thoughts can create unnecessary suffering and choosing acceptance is a powerful step towards healing.
Such a powerful reminder of what we actually can control. Thank you, Dr. Kang.
❤ thank you.
"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms-to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.” What an incredible human being Viktor Frankl was.
Totally agree. He was.
As a mother who has also suffered a significant loss, watching this talk was both emotional and empowering. “Suffering is a choice…” - wow. Is it really my choice to break my own chains?
It took me a while to marinade on those words and to comment here, and the more I have been thinking about it these simply words, the more I begin to believe that guilt, suffering, and stagnant pain are releasable through choice, dare I choose to take steps toward loving myself.
Maggie, you are a gem and a brilliant life coach - to have applied your own transition from suffering to clarity after so much endured as a mom and to then share with others and help bring fellow women and moms to the same transition is commendable. Thank you for sharing your journey.
Sunny, thank you for sharing this. I agree, it takes time to let the idea marinate.
Thank you!
Yes! By accepting pain and shaping our narrative, we can transform suffering into growth and possibility.
Yes. I learned this the hard way. But it is a powerful lesson, one I try to keep in mind and keep in my back pocket.
Parents of kids who fall ill have a HUGE struggle to keep it together -- every single one of them needs to watch this talk!!!
Katie, thank you for sharing this. So true, it is a struggle. I was one of those parents.
The analogy of pain being inevitable but suffering being optional really struck a chord with me. It's a reminder to choose thoughts that empower us and lead to growth.
Agreed! It is a choice.
I think Maggie's insights and the journey she's been on really show the importance of understanding your own pain, and how choosing thoughts that promote acceptance can lead to personal growth and transformation. Her story reflects the idea that while pain is a part of life, suffering is often a product of our responses to it. 🌺🌞
Thank you!
Fire and heart emoji!!!
❤
This is a must listen - as a mother of a child with a disability, it's all in changing the way you think about something. Truly, no less than life-changing. Listen to this talk!
Thank you, Abby! ❤
@@maggiekang497bz,whaai
It is so difficult to make that initial choice, but once it is a habit, it is like a whole new world is open !
Love how she shifted her narrative from blame to acceptance. A valuable lesson for anyone facing challenging circumstances.
Thank you!
While we can't change every circumstance, altering our thoughts can shape our perception of suffering and open up possibilities for growth. 🌟💪Thank you for this excellent talk!
Wow. It's amazing how as humans our default mode is automatically so myopic. It's incredible how you turned something so painful and challenging into a true learning moment so that others can have a path to clarity. Thank you!
Leslie, I love how you phrased it - automatic default mode being so “myopic”. Couldn’t agree more. Thank you so much for watching my talk.
Maggie's experience highlights the power of our thoughts in shaping our emotional responses. Accepting pain doesn't mean avoiding it; it means choosing thoughts that promote growth and healing. 🌟🌈
This TED talk has great storytelling, perfect pacing and tons of emotional impact. I learned a lot about the difference between pain and suffering, and will be incorporating the 3 Steps into my own life.
Thank you. ❤
When we focus on choosing negative thoughts we invite more negativity but if we chose to be positive and grateful miracles happen.
SO true!
By embracing pain and selecting thoughts that encourage acceptance, we can reframe our suffering into a catalyst for personal development. Her story highlights the power of introspection and the choices we make in navigating life's challenges. 🌺🌞
Amazing…and such a powerful message!
Thank you for your kind words.
Her entire journey is such a testament to her strength! Some serious resilience going on here 💪💪
I really appreciate your comment. Thank you.
We can't control everything that happens to us but we have control over our response. We can chose a positive outlook.
Absolutely!💯
This talk touched my heart. It's a beautiful reminder that while we can't control what happens to us, we can control how we respond. Acceptance is key to finding strength and moving forward.
Acceptance is key!
Powerful testimony of a mothers love and strength 👏👏💕
Thank you!
Beautiful and wise! Very helpful wisdom, thank you! - Rebecca
Aww thank you, Rebecca. ❤
I love how she teaches us about embracing acceptance in the face of painful realities. It's a reminder that while we can't control everything, we can shape our responses. 🌺🌞
Maggie's talk is inspiring for all us parents battling a child's auto immune disease. Thanks for sharing
Agreed!
Thanks for sharing your inspiring story and words of wisdom! Suffering is indeed optional.
Thank you, Denee. It surely is.
I so love the opening story! Had chills on the emergency room story! Fabulous job, Maggie! Great finish with Frankl!
Aww thank you, Shawn. Really appreciate this.
I think blaming ourselves happens because we're so desperate to find a meaning or cause, and blame is kind of like the second best things to finding that. Be kind to yourselves everyone ❤❤
Agreed. Thank you.
I really like the idea of having this amount of control over your thoughts. You have to, otherwise they control you, and they're not always right, or positive.
Yes! Well done. Suffering is optional. Take control of your thoughts. Choose the thought that frees the guilt, that offers acceptance. I will share this in my groups with moms who have addicted loved ones and believe it's their fault. They often suffer too.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I really hope it's helpful to your groups with moms who have addicted loves ones and believe it's their fault.
You've got to have a SOLID foundation in place in order to make this choice and today's world, cementing that solid foundation is easier said than done.
Agreed.
This is dope. A lot of people can use this will all life concepts I will definitely continue to spread the word. Thank you
Love this comment. Thank you, Shakia.
Thank you for sharing your story. Your daughter is amazing too! 👏
Thank you for this comment.
This talk makes some really good points about the power of perspective. Accepting and reshaping our thoughts isn't about denying reality but about choosing what empowers us to cope, learn and find new avenues of growth
Whn we know bettre we can do better! This is an awesome concept and very delivered very well. My heart breaks for your daughters illness yet triumphs for your willingness and ability to share this with the world to help others! You are an amazing human being!
Thank you. And so are you!
Um. Wow. Wasn't anticipating being hit in the face with such truths today. Thanks Ms Kang.
This is wonderful. I'm so happy to have shared a bit of your preparation journey!
I’m so happy you watched the final piece. Thank you for your support, Tim. Can’t wait for your talk.
Wow, Maggie! This is such a powerful message. Well done!
Thank you!
What a powerful story and great message on not letting the pain of suffering overrun our lives!
Thank you, Phi! 😊
What an extraordinary perspective and life changing tool you have shared with us! I am inspired and empowered 🙌🏼♥🙏🏽
Thank you for this kind comment!
Wonderful job Dr Kang. This will help so many families.
I am extremely proud of you for sharing this story. You and Nell are so fortunate to have each other. :)
Aww thank you, Tracey! You’re the best.
So powerful! Love the message!
❤
i have never watched a speech that had so much life wisdom packed into 11 minutes. Wow.
Beyond grateful to you for sharing this with our group Mav
❤
Profound suffering might require a broader toolkit, including therapy, community, and coping strategies tailored to individual experiences but I genuinely believe that the conversations we have with ourselves and our mindset can help HUGE along the way.
Absolutely agree!
Wow, Maggie! You bring such a grounded presence and simple (but not easy!) solution to ease the pain of anyone who is suffering. I love your clarity, your stories, and your heart. I am so proud of you, and I'm sure Nell is as well. Thank you for sharing your and Nell's story with the world :)
Thank you, Laura! So appreciate this.
Amazing story. Will add you to my prayers. I am so glad your daughter is doing well Mark
Thank you for your kind thoughts, really appreciate you.
This is an incredible story of a mother's belief with a young child who has an incurable condition and how she endures it. it's a must-watch video for everyone who goes through adversity and how they can cope with it. Well done Dr. Maggie Kang, I salute you for putting it out there.
Thank you for sharing this comment. ❤
Thank you for sharing
This is great! I love it!
I can really relate to sometimes holding back the pain.
Thanks again.
Leda, thank you for sharing. ❤
Take home message [4:52] "pain [is] an unavoidable reality." Kinda like change, death and taxes.
Exactly!
I want to believe in the power of shifting our mindset. By embracing pain and choosing thoughts that promote growth, we can redirect suffering into empowerment. What happens though, when some of us shift, and others don't? It's very difficult to continue to choose to observe, instead of engaging, when those around you tend to shift blame instead of self-awareness.
Excellent point and excellent share with the group. T
This is good, practical advice for anyone looking to strength their mental resilience
Amazing, Maggie!
Thank you, Cesar! You've seen many TED talks so this means a lot.
So often I get lost in my own negative and often habitual, thought processes. Thank you for bringing clarity and achievability to such an easy trap to get stuck into!
I know what you mean about getting lost in negative and habitual thoughts. It was so grateful to learn there was a way out. Thank you for this.
I live this each day
Right on.
How incredibly insightful, to reflect the complexity of our emotional responses is not something widely practiced..
While changing our thoughts can impact our emotional state, it might not be as simple as choosing a different thought. Realities like illness often evoke complex feelings beyond immediate control
Wonderful insight on how stop suffering in the face of such uncertainty. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!
Thank you!
Pain will visit us all at some stage in our lives but we can chose to avoid suffering by dealing with the pain.
Right on. So true.
Absolutely. 💯
I think this is a really inspiring approach but it's also important to recognize that choosing thoughts to reduce suffering might not be a universal solution... sometimes whatever the situation is that has caused us pain is so much that it really impacts our ability to even function, let alone choose our mindset.
Agreed. I wanted to qualify this too in my talk but I had to cut out so much to stay within the time limit. But I agree with you. If one is in a very activated state of mind, accessing thoughts to choose may not be available.
Wow! That really illuminated the difference between pain and suffering. Thanks so much for sharing I know this will help all listeners.
Thank you for appreciating my message about the difference between pain and suffering!
Very inspiring! Thanks for bringing awareness to NMO.
Absolutely! I loved that I could share a message about the difference between pain and suffering through a personal story about my daughter's rare disease diagnosis AND to be able to bring awareness to NMO. Thank you.
Great talk. Very inspiring.
Thank you,
Powerful TedTalk! Thank you for sharing your experience with everyone
Thank you, Ana.
I agree we should be conscious of how our thought processes contribute to our healing process! I try to allow myself to feel the whole range of emotions and then just let it go.
This is a great message and I relate. It is challenging to move beyond our pain if we never truly accept and deal with it. I've vacillated between the desire to suffer and the need to heal. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing, Todd!
Maggie - you are helping so many people with this work! Such an amazing message!
Thank you!
What a great TedTalk! Such a powerful message that has applicability for everyone.
I am so glad you can appreciate the broad applicability of my message! Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you Maggie, for reminding us to move through our pain to the other side. I love the image that, collectively, the micro-moments of well-being become your life raft.
Yes, moving through pain and micro-moments becoming my life raft! I'm so glad you appreciated that - I actually added those details in the last week just before the talk!! I am so glad I did.
Great story and inspiration to think differently
Such a powerful message Maggie. Thanks for sharing your story.
Thank you for watching, Dalit!
Maggie, thanks for sharing your personal journey and helping others.This is very powerful, stay strong🙏
This journey shows how acknowledging pain and adjusting the narrative around it can lead to mastery and growth. We have so much more agency over our emotions than we think, this talk shows how you can get there.
Absolutely
Absolutely
Thank you.
This was so powerful. Maggie does a beautiful job of taking me through her journey and leaving me feeling more hopeful and encouraged to be able to accept painful realities that will inevitably show up. I now have some great tools at my fingertips to help me as they do. Thank you Maggie.
Thank you, Deb! ❤
Wow, Maggie! What a great talk and a fantastic idea worth sharing! Thank you for sharing your message with the world! It's made a significant impact on me and I am sure other viewers will learn a lot from this as well. Simply, thank you for sharing your journey with us.
Rosa, I’m so glad to hear that it made an impact on you. That was my hope. Can’t wait to see you up on TEDx soon!
Wow. This is really valuable information but I think you'd have to have a very strong sense of will
This is truly incredible. I love the way you were able to change your mindset and provided such a personal story to show the path. You give me hope for myself and others. Life can be so painful but that does not mean one has to fall apart. Thank you
So appreciate you sharing your story and wisdom gained from this journey. I hope your message makes impacts others in the same way it has impacted me.
I appreciate your comment SO much. I hope so too.
Stoic approach, I appreciate it.
Inspiration & awesomeness... Thanks Maggie!
Thank you!
Thank you!
Such good takeaways Maggie! Thank you for the wonderful perspective. ❤
Thank you, Leslie. ❤
Thanks for this moving and informative message.
Thank you for this kind comment.
Such an empowering message! It is such a relief to understand how we can lighten our suffering. Thank you for this valuable message!
Isn’t it? Thank you, Mariana.
Listening to this and how her experience has fostered the potential for growth in herself and her relationships... Got me thinking! Thank you.
Thank you for helping me understand the difference between pain and suffering. Your story makes the distinction and power we have in choosing to not suffer clear and doable. Reminding me that there really are things we do have control over, even when it feels we are drowning in pain.
Jacquie, yes absolutely! I am so glad you received me message. Thank you for this.
Such an inspiring message, talk and story!! ♥
Thank you for sharing this. I am so glad you found it inspirational.