Adult with Autism | Dark Side of Autism | Work

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  • Опубликовано: 6 сен 2024
  • The Dark Side of Autism series covers areas of Autism that I personally feel are misrepresented or overlooked.
    In this video, I talk about Work / Employment. There is a disparity in help to find work and no consideration in keeping Autistic people in work. How valuable we can be as employees depends on this. But should employment even be a consideration?
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Комментарии • 115

  • @gnomenorthofthewall1982
    @gnomenorthofthewall1982 2 года назад +10

    There is no easy life for autistic people. Sad but true. "All I ever wanted was to be left alone, but didn't even get that"

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  2 года назад +2

      True. The blow can be softened, but we still have to take it.

  • @CB-pi5hc
    @CB-pi5hc Год назад +7

    "Every day is the worst day" is the best way to describe work. Every minute of every day is just as stressful. It doesn't get easier its a fresh fight every single day.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  Год назад +3

      It sure is. It doesn't matter if you have a job you enjoy and work with good people, it is still the toughest thing to do every day 👍🏻

    • @CB-pi5hc
      @CB-pi5hc Год назад +4

      @@AdultwithAutism i was recently denied a job for being "too nervous". It was to bus tables.....

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  Год назад +1

      Wow, it just shows how interviews really aren't used for job competency if they denied you for that.

  • @ChaseTheLadiesMan
    @ChaseTheLadiesMan 2 года назад +18

    I applaud you for this video. It's so difficult to get support when you seem to be "ok" and also without an official diagnosis either. So much effort goes into things others seem not to even register as a thing. I really related to everything you said, especially those interview questions and applications. A person can be overqualified but chronically unemployed/underemployed because of the hiring process. Thank you for making these videos!

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  2 года назад +4

      Glad it made sense! Without a formal diagnosis too, it'll take someone with a genuine care for you as an individual to assist. People only do it for me because they're legally bound, but the difference between a formality and consideration makes the world of difference. Wouldn't have left my last employer if I felt like a person and not just a commodity.

    • @kayjay-kreations
      @kayjay-kreations Год назад

      Paul , I am just interested, do you have adhd too.....I know it's high in our community....I don't really want to be on drugs but I wonder if I have adhd too and have thought about being assesed for that too but it's exhausting and expensive. And doesn't change anything but I just wonder.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  Год назад +2

      I've not had it looked into if I'm honest. I've gone through the DSM ADHD and score very highly. I also did a video on here and went through the scoring too if you haven't seen it, but I don't remember if it was high.
      I am sure I do, but put my attention into my Autism as that needs more effort if that makes sense, and I avoid meds like the plague.

  • @ithacacomments4811
    @ithacacomments4811 2 года назад +8

    I don't understand why at some points in my life I craved social interaction and was ready and willing to organize the next gathering and truly enjoyed. Then, I have points in my life where interaction with others was incredibly painful....like these days.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  2 года назад +7

      The older I've gotten, the less I get from social interaction.

    • @turtleanton6539
      @turtleanton6539 Год назад +2

      It do be like that 😊😊

  • @ithacacomments4811
    @ithacacomments4811 2 года назад +8

    Neurotypical people can be so inconsiderate of others. It is like it is all about them!

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  2 года назад +2

      I think we just spend so much time dialled in to everything going on, we don't get a chance to relax, so we're always heightened. Especially around people who have the luxury of auto pilot.

  • @Green_Expedition_Drgn
    @Green_Expedition_Drgn 9 месяцев назад +8

    If you wrote a book on this topic I would definitely buy it!

  • @ianspeedie9027
    @ianspeedie9027 5 месяцев назад +2

    Im autistic my self,diagnosed at ,53,no job lost my house, marriage,we cannot control everything around us no benefit s im at a crossroads in my life ,but im not blaming anyone or anything,and i acsept it is what it is the world is the world but awareness is massive

  • @lepetitebonjour
    @lepetitebonjour Год назад +3

    "I have to account for other peoples failures 24 hours a day" - f**king spot on! I feel the same ..

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  Год назад +2

      Yep. We never get to be on 'automatic' mode. We always have to stay ready.

  • @ithacacomments4811
    @ithacacomments4811 2 года назад +4

    My Aspie daughter lives in a basement apartment that has had water damage several times. But, she feels safe there. She has been there for 15 years. She knows she needs to move for her health....but, change is so hard for her. She could organize and help a friend move....right down to the last detail but getting herself going to a better apartment is overwhelming.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  2 года назад +7

      I understand that completely. If I'm helping others, I out much more effort in making sure they're alright. But I told myself that I have to treat myself as if I'm someone I'm providing help to. To basically make sure I don't do more for others than I do myself. It was hard for a long time as I felt selfish caring for me, but in time I realised it was what I should have always done.

  • @4thanonymousperson
    @4thanonymousperson 2 года назад +7

    Thank you for this video. As a fellow autistic you've put many thoughts I've had over the years into words.
    I haven't yet finished the video, so forgive me if my saying this is parroting one of your points, but I hate it when people pretend like autism is sunshine and rainbows and a superpower. It's not. It makes me me, yeah, and I'm me because of it, yeah, but it does legitimately hinder me in many ways and I don't want my need for support at times to be erased in some flaccid attempt to make autism more palatable to employers, random people, etc. I see it all around LinkedIn, RUclips, whatever, and it makes my blood boil.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  2 года назад +3

      No worries. I know what you mean,I'd rather focus on the negative sides of Autism to cast a light on it...for a positive reason. We need solutions to help the many and not the few, and the only way to do that (in my opinion) is to show that people with a different narrative don't all follow suit.

  • @hannahmae1347
    @hannahmae1347 Месяц назад +1

    Every single job I've ever had has absolutely crushed me -- not because of the job itself, but because of the fact that I've had to deal with other human beings with EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. I'm 24 and have within the last year begun to piece together my life with the knowledge of autism. And in a way, I'm insanely grateful I'm only 24 and learning all of this. I could be like my mom, discovering this at 62 and already have lived a majority of her life not knowing. But also, I get stuck in this cycle every time I get so burnt out from a job that I completely shut down and have to quit, where all I can feel is dread. Dread that I'll never be able to find a job that doesn't absolutely destroy my quality of life. Dread that I'll never be able to live how I want to. Dread that I'm stuck existing this way, FOREVER. And it will likely never change. I dread the future because I don't know if it's even possible for me to get to where I want to be in life, and I'm High enough masking that anyone I tell about my autism, won't believe me. I've never understood why I always seemed to struggle SO MUCH when all my peers are doing fine. Until this last year. And no one else will ever see the internal struggle to just exist. I hate it here.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  Месяц назад

      I was the same with work for the longest time, until one day I was broken by it for the last time. Unfortunately, that needed to happen for me, as I couldn't just disconnect from wanting to do my best around people who didn't.

  • @wickjezek5093
    @wickjezek5093 11 месяцев назад +2

    "My face has become my mask. It is scarred from a fake existence because of everyone else I have to do it for."
    I walk dogs for a living. It's the only work I can do - dogs have no pretenses. I don't have to mask with them. I can feel myself put the fake smile, voice, and chipper friendly attitude when their owners are home.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  11 месяцев назад +1

      Walking dogs is the best job. I've got to walk mine in a minute, he keeps letting me know by nudging my leg 👍🏻

    • @TorontoNeurospicyGirl
      @TorontoNeurospicyGirl 8 месяцев назад

      The mask comment made me cry on my way home from work...
      Also the 2nd comment made me cry just now.. because if I physically could I would be a dogwalker. Dogs are my absolute favourite beings in the world and I would love to spend my days with them.. instead for some reason I got into nursing and I have to deal with people all day every day and people are the worse.

  • @HypocrisyLaidBare
    @HypocrisyLaidBare 8 месяцев назад +3

    Im watching this 1 year after it was posted, between Christmas and New Year of 2023/24.
    I saw a video on youtube of Christine McGuiness, on ITV Northwest Tonight or similar. Discussing autism at Christmas and the challenges.
    Almost everything said was about the impact on her "normal Christmas" not about the kids probably horrendous experience coping with her "normal Christmas" and how she was losing out. That their kids were the worse suffering autistic kids on the world, the way she speaks of autism she should be an "autism speaks" ambassador. She described her (hfa or level 1) aspergers formerly autistic kids as if they were mute, incapable of anything independently of their parents or support/teachers/family etc.
    She and Paddy too, make out they have the most chronically autistic children in the whole UK. It feels to me that the parents are coo-ing for sympathy for them as the parents its all drama, crisis and incapacity where their kids are concerned.
    I feel their kids will suffer motivationally and educationally as a direct result of their inappropriate adults.
    The video was 4 years old and not one single comment in four years until i commented. Thats how little anyone cares about autistic needs especially at christmas, the most selfish time of the year.
    It is suppised to be a time for giving and reconcilliation isnt it? Yet its all me me me.
    I dont put any weight in what celebrity autistics have to say eitger elon musk a billionaire, chris packham a vigilante with a warpped idea of logic, most are either expectionally well off or not really conflicted by their aurism as they socially manage and seem to be boundless in resilience for the masking and stresses of interaction with society, work, social events and functions, dinner parties etc.
    I often wonder if they truely are autistic, or its a way to make themselves individual and set them apart, take the mcguiress's as an example its all about them but its their kids who are autistic.
    I think most celebrities would not be celebrities if they were truely autistic. Theyd be locked away from central focus and everyones attention, not seeking to stand infront of thousands or broadcast globally, we never see or hear of the putrage of their meltdowns or oddness of their shutdowns, they always seem to contain themselves, ive never achieved 100% containment in my life of autisitic living, ive been repremanded arrested and accused of domestic violence while having my meltdowns, so how these celebrities never have one despite all the hussle n bustle around them all day everyday is beyond me.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  8 месяцев назад +1

      It is unusual how celeb Autistic crave the limelight. Or in a lot of cases, blame bad behaviour on an undiagnosed Autism. Like Kanye West and Sia to name a couple. The media gets it entirely wrong by having these people like Christine McGuiness who had no idea she was Autistic, then be the instant face for Autism. So we have non-Autistics speaking for us getting it wrong, and then people who are days old at knowing they-re Autistic. It's wrong. 👍🏻

    • @HypocrisyLaidBare
      @HypocrisyLaidBare 8 месяцев назад +1

      @AdultwithAutism could not agree more Paul.

  • @Plumsouffle
    @Plumsouffle 6 месяцев назад +2

    Your life (what you share of it) is in danger of becoming a special interest of mine… really refreshing channel. None of the toxic positivity that does nothing to help.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  6 месяцев назад

      Haha, my life is very boring. You'd snap out of it immediately 👍🏻

    • @Plumsouffle
      @Plumsouffle 6 месяцев назад

      @@AdultwithAutism boring is bliss. How hard is it for people to understand that?

  • @SG-77
    @SG-77 2 года назад +6

    Thank you for this video. You made me cry. I've been struggling with even the thought of working and I'm currently under a lot of pressure from the jobcentre despite being signed off sick by the Dr. I know I won't cope with working. I was the person you described at the beginning, a single mum with 2 young children in a 2 bedroom flat. We're currently all waiting for an autism assessment. I feel burnt out and life is already overwhelming but thinking about working on top is just too much right now. I just about manage daily life as it is. I feel sick all of the time and it's making me ill. I love my boys but I don't want to be here anymore.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  2 года назад +4

      Sorry to hear this, I really am. A perfect example of lack of understanding from others. You mention daily life being about management, that's all you can do. I know it's hard but try not to look ahead at what could be and what could happen, just try to pay attention on day to day and what actually happens. I only say this as I am my own worst enemy when it comes to anxiety and stress. I look at too many theoretical outcomes and scenarios which makes me worse. I found that if I try to take each thing at a time, and only the practical outcomes that occur naturally, it affects me less.
      It still affects me, but not as bad. The main thing is trying to recharge. Without recharge, there is no energy for anything...even yourself. Its the most important thing in Autism from my perspective.
      I really hope you're okay.

    • @SG-77
      @SG-77 2 года назад +3

      @@AdultwithAutism thank you. You're right and that's good advice. Yes I'm feeling very low at the moment. I'm going to talk to my Dr about it today. This is my problem too. I tend to catastrophise and imagine the worst outcomes which just exacerbates my anxiety. I was coping until I got a new advisor at the Jobcentre. She's pressuring me into going to group appointments despite being signed off and I think it's tipped me over the edge right now. I don't cope with feeling out of control either, but it will get resolved. As you say, I just need to stop thinking about too much at once and take one day at a time.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  2 года назад +1

      Change is never easy, especially when it's the change is harder like with a new advisor. As you say, the best thing to do is talk to the doctor. Maybe even request a new advisor at the job centre in writing, stating stress due ti how you're being handled whilst it's already a stressful time in waiting for an Autism assessment. At least if it's documented, it almost forces their hand to that you like a person and not a cog in the wheel.

    • @SG-77
      @SG-77 2 года назад +1

      @@AdultwithAutism yes I think I'll do that. It might help them to realise I am genuinely struggling and not just trying to avoid work. The Dr has prescribed me some medication too. I've been avoiding the medication route but I think I need to give it a try. Then they can't say I'm not helping myself.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  2 года назад +1

      I agree. No one said it has to be a long term solution, but slow and steady and you'll get there 👍🏻

  • @marvintot77
    @marvintot77 5 месяцев назад

    I'm trying to learn for the sake of my partner, who was diagnosed recently. I've found understanding of lots of things, and I am grateful to you for sharing.

  • @ithacacomments4811
    @ithacacomments4811 2 года назад +1

    Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!
    You are helping me better understand my Aspie self and my Aspie son and daughter.

  • @Overcookedsoul
    @Overcookedsoul 9 месяцев назад +1

    That's the thing that people don't understand. I don't want to live like this. If I didn't have to, I wouldn't. No woman wants to marry a man who is on benifits and has no vehicle. But if I worked, I would have to find the right kind of work that I am absolutely sure that I can maintain, make sure my health insurance which is tied to your work here in the US is good enough, probably maintain a vehicle which is extremely overwhelming since unless it's new, you are always running into problems and needing repairs. I want it. I hate living like this. But it would crush me, I know it.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  9 месяцев назад +2

      Because of the lack of understanding of Autism by those who Gatekeep, it's why issues like this will go unnoticed. Without listening to Autistic people, no one will know what needs to change.
      I know that crushing feeling all too well 👍🏻

  • @The-Finisher
    @The-Finisher 11 месяцев назад +1

    Finding your channel has been a godsend. Almost every video I’ve watched resembles my experience. The smile line scars are all to real. Thank you for sharing your voice. It’s greatly helpful. 🖤

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  11 месяцев назад

      No problem at all. Glad they're good for you 👍🏻

  • @danielimmortuos666
    @danielimmortuos666 2 месяца назад

    Im 25 and have had 5 or 6 different jobs - started intermittently working around age 12.
    Ive only been fired once, but I’ve resigned from every job I’ve had, cos the only way I could cope with work was through heavy substance abuse.
    My longest lasting job has been working as an electrician at events (weddings, parties etc…), and turned into the closest thing I have to a profession. I was “lucky” because my boss was prolly also autistic so he didn’t mind my meltdowns and burnouts, even allowed me to take leaves of half a month - we’re kinda friends nowadays.
    I decided to leave that job and now mostly work as a freelance electrician because I just can’t bring my self to have a job, people just don’t accept it cos they say; “I’m too smart not to have a stable career ”. I just don’t explain myself anymore.
    Sorry for the venting I just needed to blow off some steam lol
    Thanks Paul ❤

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  2 месяца назад +1

      Let off as much stream as you like 👍🏻

  • @jamessnow8512
    @jamessnow8512 7 месяцев назад

    I just came across your videos and man, everything you say sounds exactly like my experience. I'm just listening and nodding and agreeing the whole time. The burnout at work and life became too much finally and pushed me towards getting a diagnosis.

  • @bryanmerton5153
    @bryanmerton5153 2 года назад +3

    Spot on video Paul! I actually love my job but going to work is such a chore. I to play scenarios in my head constantly. With work I always work with different people so I try and work out what the day is going to be like. I also hate the drive for the very same reasons as you. I have to leave super early incase there is an accident or construction or whatever. I am always way early because of it. I had some friends visiting last week and they were curious about how my mind works. I was trying to explain all of the scenarios I was working on at the time. Their minds were blown. One said that he just shuts down his mind! What???? I sure wish I could do that. Even last night after watching this video I was too tired to write a response but I still spent an hour in my mind writing it before falling asleep. (Last nights response was much better then this one😀). I am lucky that I like my job and I am able to mask all day to get through it. That being said, I wish I could find a way not to work.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  2 года назад +3

      Thanks Bryan. You're right, the job isn't the problem, it's the scenarios...and for me, other humans!
      How do people turn their mind off?! Thats some party trick I want to learn!
      I've been in that situation, explaining to others how my mind works and it exhausts them just hearing about it...but try doing that all the time for every waking second for every single scenario, actual one's and made up. Poor souls 😂

    • @bryanmerton5153
      @bryanmerton5153 2 года назад +3

      @@AdultwithAutism Yes other humans can be a real drag😂. Yes and made up scenarios. OMG I thought I was the only one.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  2 года назад +3

      Haha, I stress more over the imaginary scenarios than the real ones. I'm ready for the nut house I think!

  • @lisadesertwoman5213
    @lisadesertwoman5213 8 месяцев назад

    I relate with all you said. In the US, we don’t have any support if we are late diagnosed. I’ve had no choice but to work. I get low pay for a very stressful job, have multiple chronic painful medical conditions, and don’t have much of a life.
    It helped when I realized I’m autistic, a few years ago. At least I understand why I’m different and alone. Still hurts though.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  7 месяцев назад

      Exactly. Doesn't make day to day easier, but management of ourselves can start to make a difference 👍🏻

  • @leefleury7759
    @leefleury7759 2 года назад +1

    I've watched a few of your videos before, but I really related to this one. I'd consider myself in the same spot you are, have a job and a house, but feel trapped by full time employment. Things can be really hard sometimes, but like you're saying the other route isn't an option for me, so I should try to be more grateful that I'm able to be independent.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  2 года назад +1

      I'd like the escape sometimes when things get too much, but then I'm also grateful I can keep going...I just hope I always have it in me!

    • @leefleury7759
      @leefleury7759 2 года назад

      @@AdultwithAutism Agreed. Been struggling with it lately, but have to keep moving forward and dealing with things the best I can.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  2 года назад +1

      It's all we can do Lee, can't let it beat us. Just hope you're getting enough down time to recharge 👍🏻

  • @bobbibby9847
    @bobbibby9847 6 месяцев назад

    That last line 😂 you're a cool man and I like how honest and calm you are! Greetings from Dublin

  • @EpiicxFuziion
    @EpiicxFuziion 10 месяцев назад

    I hear you. I so dislike daytime, that’s when I have to “people”

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  10 месяцев назад

      Urgh...people-ing isn't up there with my favourite things to do!

  • @VonniC-bv2ow
    @VonniC-bv2ow Год назад

    Thanks Paul. I feel sad yet validated. I have sensory issues on top of all the things that you spoke about. I think I have been finally broken by the systems at work and and am at the crossroads of deciding whether I can take any more. It all comes down to money and safety and comfort in the end. You have put a lot into perspective. Thank you. I actually wouldn’t mind if my permanent mask had laugh lines because even though it’s exhausting to fake it, I am at heart a good person and like to make the effort to put people at ease and be pleasant (at least at the start of a conversation). No judgment intended. You are obviously a good person too.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  Год назад +1

      I wish I didn't have to work. Even in the perfect setting, it's still very hard to do every day.

  • @janinemills6732
    @janinemills6732 Год назад

    Another brilliant video. I have ASD, and hold down a full time job,... Just about. Like you say, that's the biggest, hardest part of my life. Luckily I have managed to arrange a 4 day week, compacted hours, and can mostly work from home, which is making things a bit more manageable. It still eats into my recovery time though

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  Год назад

      That will be what I need to do...I'm just putting it off until I have no choice. Currently trying to arrange additional days for annual leave in my workplace as an adjustment 🤞🏻

  • @mysteria9052
    @mysteria9052 2 года назад

    Funny you mention not liking the smell of weed because of how much I can relate. I have hypersensitive smell and the smell of weed triggers me so bad that I once had a major meltdown and called for mental health help due to my tenant neighbours who smoke it every day, but lately at that time they hadn’t been opening a window or being remotely concerned about how it affects me.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  2 года назад +1

      Neighbours caused me the most stress as home is where I need to switch off and recharge. They were always selfish and did things that affected me from their properties, like smoking, weed, music blasting etc. If they do it and I don't know about it, fine...but when it reaches me when I'm inside my own place, its really unsettling.

    • @mysteria9052
      @mysteria9052 2 года назад +1

      An autonomous living situation that is free of sensory pollution is so important. Living in an apartment is so difficult for sensory and social issues. Living in your own house is really the only idyllic situation for thriving for “high functioning” autistics.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  2 года назад +2

      For me, it was the area that made all the difference. And as horrible as it is to say, the class of people. I've had bad neighbours in houses, good neighbours in flats. To me the dream was getting a detached property to never have to worry about noise again...but then I get one and my windows are terrible. So the next dream is soundproofing windows.
      The dream keeps having the goalposts moved!!

  • @motorcyclehair
    @motorcyclehair 2 года назад

    I'm a'right! Love this intro part.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  2 года назад

      I just have no idea what to say, and it seems to have stuck!

  • @hanaavram922
    @hanaavram922 2 дня назад

    hello Paul, taking into consideration that now you have reasonable accommodations at work do you still considering that work is the most difficult part of your life? if yes - if you would get more accommodations would that ease your life?

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  2 дня назад

      The adjustments help massively, but they're still really only for one section of work. The social aspect remains as it cannot be removed and I'll never find that natural.
      It will always be the hardest due to being something I have to do on a frequent basis for as many hours as I do. So I think that the frequency and hours involved creates a good gher level of exposure over things that we could otherwise mitigate.

  • @ithacacomments4811
    @ithacacomments4811 2 года назад

    I was asked in an interview why I wanted to leave my current position.
    I stated that my employer was asking me to hide income.
    I didn't get the job! Too honest. I didn't play the interview game right.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  2 года назад +1

      I struggle with interviews too. I'm honest to a fault so it rarely goes in my favour.

  • @jenniferferris44
    @jenniferferris44 8 месяцев назад

    I couldnt even handle the hour i needed to spend in court to get my benefits, the judge ended the hearing when i was going nonverbal and having a meltdown forcing myself as hard as i could to keep answering questions. Yet somehow even after that it was still in question of i could handle a workplace. The gatekeeping for something ppl obviously need is insane.
    The unpredictable environment and constant sensory assault of a normal service type workplace causes me to be a danger to myself even as a customer. Plus interviewers seem to get upset just cuz im fukin honest to rhe point of occasionally being detrimental to myself
    Fuk i dont think i could ever handle your daily routine for a week. smile, touch others, not spending a day down for every day i try to socialize 😰 id break so quick. If an interviewer lets me slide after i end up going nonverbal pushing myself threw it i think i could handle coding 30 hour day with the rest of week recovering n no social obligations or requirement to lie or be 'appropriate' for a public place and safe area to have meltdown when something overwhelms me i might be able to handle it, id love to try but the interviewers that end it short probably realize i could never handle it long or medium term.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  8 месяцев назад

      If I didn't stay involved in what I do, I would absolutely regress to a state where I couldn't do it anymore. This is the reason I rarely take long breaks from work as going back to it gets harder the longer I am away from it. Sorry to hear about the court issue, even they are bound to offer reasonable adjustments in England.

  • @flamingohead27
    @flamingohead27 8 месяцев назад

    You video from the seat of your pants. Odd saying, but that's what you made me think of about not having a script.
    😂😂😂 I have dyslexia what does that have to do with ASD?
    I worked, but also have a family and I had to choose where to put my coins. And my health and family is more important. Work burnt me out everyday. So every day off was sleeping and trying to recharge. No fun with my kid no time qith my husband. And i was miserable which brought my family down. I hope i can work again, but i can't do full time, but i don't need more then what we need. My first job was was good for me. It helped my depression and made me feel useful and smart. Because I'm really not lol. Sorry thus comment is ao big.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  8 месяцев назад

      Work needs to serve a purpose, no one should 'want' to do it. We are not designed for it. We should put our time, energy and effort...and our best years into things that we are passionate about. But I have a passion to give my animals a comfy life, and passionate about my down time with exactly what I want around me...that's why I do it.
      Other people have different wants, so go about life differently. When I hear of people working who don't need to, it makes me feel extremely sorry for them 👍🏼

  • @EpiicxFuziion
    @EpiicxFuziion 10 месяцев назад

    Love the beanie.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  10 месяцев назад

      I wish it was cold enough all year to wear them every day.

  • @AutisticPhillip
    @AutisticPhillip 3 месяца назад

    I am one of those who can do a pretty decent job, but still crumble under the scrutiny of the interview... I found that a neurotypical beats me out of a job 9 times out of 10... it might be because I can't hide what i'm feeling and my depression becomes visible for a split second or I lose my confidence mid interview... Why the hell do I have to be the living embodiment of confidence to get a fucking job that I'm perfectly qualified for? Why can't an interview be more like:
    Interviewer: "so here are what we require, and the expectations of this job are... do you understand what is expected, and can you do it?"
    me: "yes, I believe I can. With proper job training I'll probably have your job someday."
    Interviewer: "Sounds great. so we got some paper we need you to fill out. When can you start?"
    Why TF do I have to put on the face of someone else in order to get someone to consider me for employment? Why should I have to? Why should I have to decline my own mental health in order to survive, when I'm already borderline suicidal (almost full on(not sure it ain't full on now)) to begin with? Honestly, I really don't know what is keeping me alive anymore... I see a lot of people who have everything they want and still complain about completely meaningless and insignificant, stupid problems that could be solved easily, While I'm stuck in poverty without the means to get anything I need or want, and it pisses me off to see these people complaining when they don't realize that they got it so fucking easy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why should I have to suffer a life of undeniable, complete rejection? And what's it going to take to make a lasting change that isn't for the benefit of the neurotypicals in the workplace? What about us, huh? what about the autistics who can't work because they can't help but show exactly how they feel written on their face 24/7, and because what's written on my fucking face isn't confidence but anxiety and desperation? the only reason I ever had a job was because they couldn't hire anybody else cuz nobody showed up and filled out an application except for me... I just want to drop dead... I wish I didn't have to work even though I still want to... I wish I could make the choices that led me here again... I'd do so much so differently...

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  3 месяца назад

      Routing for you. We are fish being judged solely on our ability to climb trees.
      Job interviews are personality tests, not competency based assessments. So long as you fit in, that's all they want. Which explains why a lot of workplaces suffer with sub par employees when there are better candidates out there.
      We don't care about the Xmas works function, we care about doing the job properly. If I've been successful in interviews 5 times, I've been unsuccessful 100. We certainly have the extra weight of the additional trying attached to us.

    • @AutisticPhillip
      @AutisticPhillip 3 месяца назад

      @@AdultwithAutism Yeah... AGREED... when I commented the original comment, I had no Idea that I had another fall ahead of me... Now even further down on luck, there's still nothing going to stop me from trying because I'm persistent and bone headed... thanks for routing for me though... it means a lot.

  • @jasonclarke7422
    @jasonclarke7422 2 года назад

    Hi Paul, I’m on catch up with your videos as I just got back from my Holiday and I did not have internet to watch, but I have a question I hope you can answer, when I am driving in a area that I’m not familiar with I sometimes find it more difficult to process information such as the instructions as to what lane to get in with the road markings and all the signs on busy roundabouts, I sometimes feel that all this information comes at me too fast to process especially if a passenger is chatting away to me, this is on top of the issues that you mentioned in your video, I never feel that I’m unsafe at driving as if I come of a road at the wrong junction I will continue while muttering a lot of profanities at myself.also I’m not keen at driving at nighttime as I feel that the glare from headlights from oncoming traffic can also have an effect on me, so I tend to drive much more cautiously at nighttime.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  2 года назад +1

      Hi Jason, hope the holiday was good.
      I feel the same driving, I don't hate many things in life, but driving is right up there. I have a harder time driving at night too as the glare of headlights stops me seeing the road ahead and I get a disorientation, it's not pleasant. Takes a lot to stay overly focused.
      Different types of roads throw me too. Newcastle for example, I'm used to roads that the left lane just merges off, whereas there I have to get in a further left lane which looks like it'll end with the short white line dashes. Then I miss turn offs and it sends me up the wall.

    • @jasonclarke7422
      @jasonclarke7422 2 года назад

      @@AdultwithAutism The holiday was great thanks Paul, but it certainly raised a lot of issues with the autism,we went on the P&O Iona it is a fantastic ship, but just to much going on for my little screwed up brain to cope with.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  2 года назад +1

      That is a beast of a vessel. Fair play, I couldn't get on it and sail off to sea. Not sure why since I can get on a plane? Suppose that's the joy of fears! Can't explain them. Plus I need land so when something gets on top, I can keep walking!

  • @EpiicxFuziion
    @EpiicxFuziion 10 месяцев назад

    You have a lovely face.

  • @panthera50
    @panthera50 Год назад

    Psychologists.
    You know: I really think that half of them don't know what they are doing.
    I once made a bet for 5 euro, that I would talk about my cat for an hour, and they would not even notice.
    Won that bet. 🙄
    After that, I never told them anything about myself.
    I can talk for an hour and say nothing, and I do that now.
    They can make copies of something I need, and that kind of idiotic things.
    I have had it up to here with them. 🤮

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  Год назад +2

      To trust in them, they would need to evidence they understand my version of Autism. If not, it would be like talking 'cat' to a 'dog' 👍🏻

    • @panthera50
      @panthera50 Год назад

      @@AdultwithAutism
      Yep, and I bet they don't.
      Everyone is different, but they treat everyone the way they learned out of a book.
      And that doesn't work.

    • @AdultwithAutism
      @AdultwithAutism  Год назад +2

      It doesn't. Treat each person as their own version of Autism, don't assume any expectations apply, let them show you who they are, and you'll be monumentally miles ahead by just paying attention than you would from a book 👍🏻

  • @Greenteajuicy
    @Greenteajuicy 5 месяцев назад