Why Are Affairs So Addictive

[@staceychenevert]

You can break free from an affair.

[@kimlynch209]

Its so real, the addiction. Its like the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other…….

[@staceychenevert]

Yes absolutely

[@augusthere7154]

I am stuck stuck stuck. I keep trying to break it off, but I just can’t. Physically sick from all of this.

[@staceychenevert]

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that. The physical symptoms are common while you are in the on and off again stage. There are many roadblocks that can keep us stuck but there are ways to break free from the affair. If you need help feel free to email me and I can get you scheduled.

[@jeannieburr1102]

Yep looking for my next hit soon! I am absolutely and pathetically addicted and knew what was happening because I had researched this kind of thing before. It’s my lifeline and muse I keep telling/ lying to myself. Smh what a fool I’ve been. Emotional attachment is unbelievable. No physical thank God but still need just as much help. The withdrawals are excruciatingly but not as bad as it was in the beginning. Lovesick delusional me!! How did this happen? Why did I let my guard down? I used to always protect myself even if the marriage was suffering. I stayed detached and guarded! Severe loneliness and depression and exhaustion preceded all this. I need a HARD RESET! I wanted to abandon everything at one time and say the hell with it. I realized that was even more insane and things would have been worse but for that moment it seemed like a fantastic idea! Omg! Fortunately he had more sense than I did. I did fess up and tell my husband about it and that seemed to help break it. But…. When I thought the feeling had subsided and all and that we could in fact be acquaintances….. the rest is history. Can’t wait to talk with him again. I have to fill that void somehow. I am still so lonely even when husband is home from his travels.

[@staceychenevert]

Oh my heart breaks for you. Sometimes it seems easier to surrender to the affair than fight through withdrawal. To be free from this a deep healing is needed. Be encouraged you don't have to stay here and feel this pain. You can recover and live an emotionally stable life.

[@semancik12]

I feel you

[@lotusmccary9365]

Me too. How is it going? I am therapy

[@denisships2861]

I hope you get to the healing phase before it wrecks your home. Sadly i'd seen it pass twice and when time passes and kids growth it is completely useless; all the excitement and good experiences felt are nothing compare to dying alone and stigmatized

[@archilpandey]

Well affair whether sexual or emotional are destructive..

[@blahblaahh3004]

What about affairs where love has nothing to do with it? Sometimes people just cheat to have something exciting in their mundane lives. If no one in the affair falls in love what could be the problem then? Other than the original partner(s) finding out of course. Obviously cheating is terrible but it's also, unfortunately, extremely common.

[@1949coupe]

I'm on the receiving end of this. An affair without emotional attachment is easier to recover from in my opinion. If she cheated because she wanted validation that she can still get a man, was bored and wanted to explore something new, its easier to break off the affair. Once there is a deep emotional and physical connection, its harder to leave.

[@mbrock465]

Good information, but however not enough emphasis on the deception in affair relationships - in other words- No the grass is not really greener

[@agnssn]

So, what is the title and author of the book you talked about in the beginning? =)

[@HoneyboyDes]

Just be in it if it makes you feel good!! Just love two people!!

[@tania5012]

I ended things with AF partner two months ago. In the beginning he made my heart so happy but in the end so much pain. Im constantly depressed, that is life for me at the moment and i hope that changes in time.

[@staceychenevert]

It does get better in time

[@tania5012]

Feels slightly better, I'm single now and focusing on my life to get things in order. Ive had some contact with AP, he lives separately from his wife but remains good friends. Just to have a little contact uplifts me, although I honestly hold no expectations, been there done that, it only led to disappointment, but it just helps to not feel so isolated. I'd love to have something more with him, it was a connection I have never experienced with anyone else. But it's his journey and i respect he will do what is best for him. I reached out to him because I felt desperately lonely, and the small connection we had just really helped me that night. Apart from that, i give the whole situation plenty of space and am open to meeting a new romantic partner.

[@maxlewin7807]

Great video

[@staceychenevert]

Thank you

[@davidmbeckmann]

So if he came to you saying, “ I divorced my wife, I am infatuated and obsessed you, the sexiest woman I have ever met “ … are you sure you would not be tempted?

[@staceychenevert]

I'm sure I would not want him because what I desire out of a man is something he can't offer. When you grow from your mistakes Your desires change.

[@para-mentischannelbypiggsy4240]

I think to be honest with yourself and your lover that it's an open relationship. Society changed with laws, protection towards children and women, child support also marriage has changed being more of a legal structure than a religious. I love a married woman I am not having an affair with her but I Don't her becoming a love interest.

[@marlieseholl3354]

7

[@lamarquescoleman9747]

What if your spouse sees that person as fun but cannot have fun with you because if life and it’s stresses?

[@staceychenevert]

This is what typically happens, the affair person is an escape from life. You cqn try to create fun times away from home together as a couple.

[@lamarquescoleman9747]

Some good advice, fun times away from home maybe more fun memories overtime will replace that thought!

[@staceychenevert]

@@lamarquescoleman9747 yes start to create an emotional connection by doing fun things at home and away from home. You can become the safe fun place. Couples should be able to escape reality for a little bit and enjoy each other.

[@paulsid15]

I really wish my wife would watch these videos. I'm standing for my marriage and shes so wrapped up in the feeling of love. Her mom was a trash mom and no dad in the picture. Im the bad guy. She can do no wrong.

[@staceychenevert]

Im standing with you in prayer.

[@davidmbeckmann]

Women cannot be reasoned with when possessed by madness, friend.

[@paulsid15]

@@davidmbeckmann that is a true statement.

[@tneita3166]

You know the thing that I don't understand
About people who say that they are regelious
Is. "at the time of there affair ( adultery. )
Where do they put there GOD" that they say they believe
In who is a jealous and faithful GOD,,,.

[@staceychenevert]

In Isaiah 53:6 it says All of us like sheep have strayed away. We have left God's path to follow our own. But in Matthew 18:12 Jesus says when he has a lost sheep he will go look for it. We have the choice to walk away from God, he will not force his way on anyone. But he does come look for us and will welcome us back with open arms once we surrender that sin over to him . Its not about being RELIGIOUS its about having a RELATIONSHIP with Christ.

[@RosasResources]

We all fall short and at the end of the day we are all sinners. Theres no perfect man. She got back in the right had of the Lord and he forgives.

[@staceychenevert]

@@RosasResources Amen sista

[@tneita3166]

@@staceychenevert A relationship with God &
CHRIST, but what about the relationship ( in
Marriage. ) with the Spouse, who for all we know
Sometimes don't or refuse to forgive, where do
They stand with Christ & GOD, do they become
Guilty after having been betrayed,,,.Ps Christ did
Say that there is only one reason for divorce or
( to put away. ),,,. Have a good day,,,.

[@staceychenevert]

@@tneita3166 Jesus gave that degree due to the hardness of someone's heart. So it is ok to get a divorce if you have been betrayed. However, it is very important for you to forgive. Because forgiveness is for you. It's a way that you won't stay bound to the pain of betrayal. Second, Ephesians 4:31 says Be kind and compassionate to one another forgiving each other as in Christ God forgave you. Holding onto unforgiveness will not punish them for their sin against you but it will bring pain and bitterness into your life. I know this because my first husband cheated on me and at first it was hard to forgive him for what he had done until I realized what I was doing to myself and I was accountable for my own actions and emotions. Hope that helps. We are all responsible for our own sins.

[@apriljohnson1067]

So…. You fall in love with someone and it’s an addiction? C’mon I was married 20 years and dated plenty beforehand. I’m older than you. We didn’t touch each other for so long. So long.

[@staceychenevert]

If you never had an affair then you have no idea what I'm talking about. This topic has nothing to do with age or how many people you dated.

[@apriljohnson1067]

@@staceychenevert I have had an affair. I left my spouse for him. My point is that an affair is not addiction, marriage is financial stability and comfort

[@staceychenevert]

​@apriljohnson1067 I must disagree considers myself and my clients struggles. Also the percentage of affair couples stay together which is only 2 percent.

[@misha791]

@@staceychenevertHad an affair it hit me with withdrawal being avoidant, torn, confused - since the other single mid 40’s AP was already so ahead of our future.
We connected but after highs the quirks and red flags started showing up and felt pressured on her demands and ultimatums for me to commit right away. She started to be controlling.
It scared me but it hit me that I have to have self control to break the cycle to give me peace of mind and think logically that it’s not sustainable and healthy. She’s communicative but also argumentative on things in our pseudo relationship it was always like a loop and it got very exhausting.
I walked away since I realized I have more freedom at home and no need for drama to deal with.
Told her I have baggage and she needs to find someone that’s not complicated.
Affair, felt good like a drug but it was all a fantasy. She also had traumas in life that I cannot fix.
I love her for who she is inspite of things, we both make mistakes and continue to pray guidance.
You never really love someone till you learn how to forgive.
I started meditating back again to get my center and read the Bible, it’s helping a lot and giving me clarity on these chaotic monkey mind.