why you don't need to get your life together
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- Опубликовано: 10 янв 2025
- IG: / rowenatsai | POV: your life’s already together but you’re looking for new ways to grow 😌 Thank you Shopify for sponsoring this video! Sign up for Linkpop here: linkpop.com/?ut...
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✨ If you’re at all curious:
• My spiritual practice, Falun Dafa bit.ly/2z49zqz
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The difference seems to be a sense of anxiety and panic for “get my life together”, and total relief of “you don’t NEED TO DO THAT”. Some things work out, some things don’t. It feels more genuine to do what feels right in the moment and be aligned with myself.
One thing I've learned recently is that moving through life with self-compassion actually brings you so much further, instead of beating yourself up for not being where you think you should be in your life! We all have our own paths, timelines and journeys and it's not going to be perfect (and doesn't have to be). Learning to embrace that has definitely improved my mental health! Loved the video and your storytelling so much Ro, wishing you the best 💗
Ahhh! Yes, this is something I am going through and learning at the moment, and it is so nice to hear it from another soul 🥰
Hi Ro, I can't tell you how much I needed this video. My mum just had a heart attack and emergency surgery over the weekend and it was the scariest time of my life. I've lost all grandparents, dad, two uncles and my brother, but this hit way harder. I thought I was going to be orphaned at 27 and my mind immediately went into overdrive. "I need to get my shit together, need to do this, need to do that, need to spend more time with her and take her here there and everywhere and do this and that". And I was rationally telling myself this is not helpful right now. Mum just needs to know she's not alone. But this video is very helpful. Thank you Rowena. You always come at the best time 💜
Sending virtual hugs to you
@@angelacortes6434 Honestly thank you for taking time out of your day to be kind to a stranger 🥺. Sending hugs right back! 💜
you seem like a beautiful, compassionate human & i hope you can be kind to yourself during this season 🤍
@@isabel0852 That is so kind of you to say, thank you so much 🥺💜
Sending you and your mum loads of love. Really hope she's doing OK. Be kind to yourself 😘
I came to this realization myself after spending 3+ years addicted to productivity culture. I'm glad you made a video about it. All the self-improvement content made me feel as if I had to be perfect always. Now I just accept myself as I am, and I don't set such unrealistic standards for myself. Only after I stopped watching "get your life together" videos did I actually get my life together.
I love this shift in perspective. I used to feel like everyone had their life together except me - everyone else had a normal relationship with food, everyone else was more confident than me, everyone else knew what they were doing. And that wasn't true at all! Now I help people with implementing health habits, and the biggest thing that gets in everyone's way is thinking they have to have their life together in order to be happy or live the life they want to be living. But that's totally not true, and just keeps us from doing what we want! Thanks for normalizing not having our lives together :)
Anytime I’m working on my self growth, I always remind myself I’m choosing to work on myself because I want to, not because I’m broken. I don’t need to be fixed.
This helps me to care for myself and love myself even while I’m trying to improve
I really needed this. I have clinical depression and anxiety and I have been struggling for years to "get my life together". But of course I can't always keep up and I end up making myself feel worse for it. I have started uni recently and am struggling with my social life (introvert with social anxiety) so I think I threw myself even harder onto getting my life together so that I don't feel like complete shit. I am hyperfocusing on my studies to ensure that at least one aspect of my life is under control but I'm being too harsh on myself in that process. Self image is at an all time low but I'm trying to be kinder to myself. I have been having a terrible week, very depressed and lonely and I was spiraling very badly. This video was so peaceful and warmed my heart so much that I cried watching it. Thank you so much Rowena. This might have just saved me. Love you.
Hi Ro!!!! Congratulations on getting engaged 🥺💗you deserve all the best things of life. Also needed and waited for this video so desperately. Missed you :') thankyou for this.
Wait, where did she share this? 🥺😭
Love the part where you said you lived a phase of learning to say "no" and recently, it has become learning to say "yes". Life has its ebbs and flows, but that doesn't mean your life isn't put together.
And in the spirit of saying "yes", congratulations Ro and Jams!!! 💕💕
sooo true! i am still in the "learning to say no" phase :D Hope to leave it behind for a new one too
Congrats from your random internet subscriber!!! I am so so so so so so happy for you both of you! I have been following your RUclips channel for 5 years now. And I am so proud of the growth you made in your personal and professional life. I remember watching your videos as a girl in her high school and I am about to graduate my university this year. You have been like my elder sister throughout the last 5 years who helped me through my breakups, when I got bad grades, who motivated me. I don't even know if you will read this, but I will really wish the best for you. God bless you 💕💕
I think I needed this today. I’ve been in cycles of feeling like things are falling apart then ‘getting my life together’ my whole life. I think a lot of why I’ve been in that is because of 30 years of undiagnosed adhd, so I was always deeply struggling with things that seemed to be maybe boring or a bit hard for others. I’m also someone who thrives with a fair bit of routine and structure, but I both struggle to create that for myself (adhd) and struggle to adapt my routines when my schedule or life changes. But even though I love routine my life has been very unpredictable, with moving countries twice, working temp and casual jobs, going back to school in adulthood, changing careers etc. Considering the circumstances I’ve honestly done really well and I’ve been doing the work slowly but surely to be able to see that and be proud of myself.
My previous ‘getting my life together’ phases have all been motivated by self hatred and as much as I still want some routine, structure and consistency in my life I’m trying to approach creating that structure through a framework of self care and compassion. Having appreciation and acceptance of the different seasons life goes through and that my ability to do certain things changes over time and even my needs change over time, but that doesn’t make me a failure, also my version of my life being ‘together’ is different from someone I see online, or my friends, and that’s ok.
I’m a few more years away from my life having a more consistent structure externally, non shift work job and like not having to switch from school mode to work mode every six months, and I’m really looking forward to that, but I’m also trying to enjoy the journey there, and appreciate how far I’ve come and care for myself and my life because I love myself and not because I’m trying to become someone else.
Adore this comment, thank you
As someone who is in that casual temp job phase, trying to shift careers, and "get my life together", your comment made me realize how much self-hate is fuelling me. Thank you for this! Hope you get your dream life soonest! :)
@@shaonakundu6333 It’s so hard to feel like you’re doing okay when going through these big transitions in life. But you’ll be okay. It really helped me to really accept that life is change and even if your career or home stuff is stable there will always be something in life that is in flux and that’s just the nature of life. It’s a constant journey of learning, growth, change and curveballs. There was a lot of frustration in the lack of stability for me, but I’m slowly working through that. It helps to think that at some point these will be ‘the good old days’, because even my turbulent teens and 20’s in some ways are the good old days to me now, not that I have a falsely positive view of them, but like I can look back at who I was and love that person and appreciate what they were trying to do. And I’m sure I’ll feel that way about the years I’m living through now and the years that are to come. There’s fun and beauty and chaos in every stage of life.
I am currently reading Atomic Habits, as many others who watch your videos and what to improve their lifes have already read before, but I am convinced of one thing. We want to “be productive” and implement consequent habits because we want to imitate the powerful. Those people could be our neighbour who tell us lies about waking up everyday at 5 am, a successful athlete who does 100 push ups per day or an influencer on RUclips that we admire. It doesn’t matter who, we just want to be more similar or more close to the people we somehow admire. And I think is really important to make public all the unproductive habits that our idols have as well , to feel similar to them and to remember ourselves the truth. Being imperfect is just part of the reality of every individual, more or less ‘successful’ .Putting aside for a second the notion that being successful differs from person to person, I personally feel like I’m on the right track when I see videos like yours where people are resting after a long day or giving themselves some time to recharge. And I would like to add that I really appreciate that you always share such reflections with us: you make us reflect about our lifes and opinions as well and you inevitably create a content that differs from the other ones. Even though you may feel like you create things for the algorithm, you are really good at differentiating yourself just that tiny bit that is necessary to leave a significant impact. Thank you ❤
What a beautiful message! "We want to be more similar or close to people we admire" that is such a true way to put it. Thank you, needed to read this comment today too especially after watching this video :)
For me, getting my life together is a mixture of believing I should live life in a better way based on views from other people, but also the idea of finding a routine that feels right for me. It is difficult to do both, and at times tiring. Sometimes I wish I could just live and exist in my own life, without constantly feeling like I could do something differently
I love your thoughts on this topic because it IS a universal feeling. It’s something we all relate to at one point in time. I loved hearing your thoughts on this ❤
To me, “getting my life together” is what allows me to safely explore/feel my feelings, as well as pursue additional passions. For me, “getting my life together” is readjusting my systems so I can more sustainably and consistently care for myself, which is critical for my mental health. My depression and anxiety can be debilitating and over powering if I don’t pause and realign/readjust. I don’t think “getting your life together” is inherently toxic at all, it’s only toxic if the person makes it so. I don’t think it’s inherently negative for people to acknowledge that they or their life are not in a good place. We’re human, it happens.
As much as i want to talk to you thru commenting on prev videos , but u know what "YOU ARE ALL WHAT I NEED RN" every video of yours is relatable, aesthetic, growing, and contentful! That i sincerely thank you and send all good positive vibes your way !
I discovered you about a year ago at the nadir of my "getting my life together" struggle. I had a MAJOR career-pausing burnout about 7 years ago, one I'm still recovering from. but it was your "I was wrong" video that snapped me out of it. I think it was a combination of "well if this wonderful person says she didn't have it figured out after all that time, that's a sign it's not to be 'figured out'." so I let go of the wheel a bit. my attitude changed. with ADHD, I felt like if I didn't find a guru to tell me how to "fix it" I was doomed. but I'm not.
is my apartment less "meshy"? yes, sometimes.
this unironically made me tear up, needed this so bad !!! A new chapter in my life is starting right now, I am starting uni and everything feels all over the place. This made me feel so much calmer
So much truth in this video. I’m in my ‘50s and remember when I was a teenager and young adult and “Pull yourself together!” was a version of this that was a really common thing to say to someone or yourself when a person was expressing a lot of emotion about something, usually crying or being upset…when you think about it not a very compassionate or understanding way of addressing emotions, but part of the dominant culture in Canada at the time and still now in which strong emotions of all kinds especially those associated with suffering and vulnerability are suppressed, pushed aside, looked down upon or minimized, joked about and laughed off. It’s the pressure to quickly cut off emotions that might arise that can cause so much anxiety instead of having compassion and recognizing there needs to be a process of acknowledging, accepting and moving through emotions whether a person is facing a single event in their life or thinking about their life as a whole. Your video also made me think about how “getting my life together” is similarly problematic framing …something so true we all know it deep down but need someone to take the time to articulate it. Thank you for doing that here. 💜
You and Kalyn have been two of my favorite creators for years and both of your channels really helped me navigate my anxiety, depression, and life in general during college. Hearing you discuss this in a time when I’m also having similar thoughts is so important and exactly what I needed to hear. As a longtime silent viewer, thank you so much for everything. You have played a massive role in my growth as a human
I find that the more I talk about something I want to do but haven’t done yet, or even a project/goals I’m currently doing and haven’t finished, I give space to evil eye whether that energy comes subconsciously from myself or from others who are sometimes intentionally trying to sabotage my efforts.
I had stumbled upon your videos quite awhile back and you have sporadically shown up in my recommended since then. I recently got back into a hole of "productivity" youtubers and whenever I get stuck here I can never figure out if any of the hacks & tips & tricks really do anything. I spy a lot of BS when I get sucked into these holes and quickly realize that the grind culture is not for me (and probably shouldn't be for anyone.) Anyway along the way I stumbled back into your channel and I just want to say how refreshing your content is in comparison to other "productivity" youtubers. I think you put things into such a real and easy perspective. It never is about the grind for you, its always about putting yourself first. Thank you for being a small step in my reframing of life recently 💛
this video made me remember again why you're my favorite youtuber
I overburden myself with unrealistic expectations on myself to try and get shit together and over with all at the same time and perfectly that... Well, I'm getting tired, frustrated and disappointed. Being an adult means I gotta be on top of my finances, work life, social life, my cat's food, etc... If I were to stop doing anything productive for a day, I feel quite uncomfortable that it nags at me for slacking. This need to keep going at a certain speed, just because I want to achieve it as fast as possible, has officially backfired.
it’s kind of nice & refreshing seeing rowena post given the title, throughout the day i’ve been on a total frenzy of productivity & it’s been overwhelming me to the max. i even found myself panicking when i had time to sit back bc i felt that if i wasn’t doing much it felt so counterproductive
It’s funny and cute and it feels meant to be that 1) I searched for channels on personality development, 2) I found your video on getting your life together, 3) I found this video which I resonate with more, and 4) I have a song called Hugs You Can Hear and I got reminded of it the moment I saw voice hugs! It’s so nice to have these things happen today. I’m grateful they happened. 💖
"too young to know it gets better"
I was on hiatus too from keeping up with ur vlog. Yesterday, I was thinking about you. I mean, I was thinking of your content. Like I actually miss it. Basically, I miss you too. Then, check on your channel again. And also I started enjoying podcasts. Voice hugs are literally what I need. I am glad u r whole again and braver and bolder. With your contents that has been my Northstar way back 2017 until I unexpectedly out of tracking your channel. Because I also lost myself somewhere down the road. And just recently. I finally got the courage too, to take a shift. To get myself together too. Thank you Ro, for being sweet potato for us. Your listeners and viewers.
I fucking love you…. It’s been really weighing on me that I go through cycles of having my life together. It felt unending. Like if I relax, it’ll all fall apart. I also love and appreciate gyst type videos immensely, they’re so helpful at times.
You are such a light in this world, thank you for sharing your energy. It is awesome how many comments say they needed this. Congrats on the engagement ❤
Girl you need to get out of my head bc these thoughts are exactly what were troubling me for the past few days and I needed this push and reminder that I am worthy no matter the amount of "productivity" I am doing.
you're so amazing 💚
here's to scaling mountains 🥂
You are my comfort youtuber whenever I need to relax and calm you are here for me thanks
(To answer your question) I think the appeal, at least to me, is that feeling like my life is not together is so overwhelming that the idea that one video on RUclips could fix that is tempting. It helps me feel more in control of my life
I would like to acknowledge you. You are very much appreciated for your hard efforts. Whenever I go through a bad depressive episode, I always go back to your videos and they help. I love how gentle you are, allowing us to do the best we can with you. Thank you.❤️
Can’t watch this just yet but as a (recent ish) disabled person I sure as hell get stuck in some viscous cycles of hating myself for my new way of life and I think this video could really be something special
I feel like I only function when I have consequences. So for me the negative that comes with not having my life organized is the only thing that motivates me to change it. If I could live in chaos and not lose everything, I totally would. But I'm trying to switch this mindset to be "I love not feeling stressed in the mornings looking for things." Also I feel like a reset day is occasionally needed but if I rely on that then I get way messier in the everyday. Because I say things like- oh well I'll just deal with it on Sunday. But at the same time, sometimes a fresh start is just a nice feeling- but I am masking what I need (meditation or prayer) with cleaning my floors.
I'm so excited to see you posting. I missed your very calm and soothing videos. ❤️This video comes at the perfect time for me.
Your videos are the boost I always need, each time you drop a new one. So grateful for you and your channel. Congratulations on your engagement to Jams! Incredibly happy for you both ❤❤
The end of this video brought me to tears. I'm so proud of you, and I'm so thankful for you giving me the tools to be proud of myself 💛 I'm so glad you exist in this world
you look so bright and pretty rowena! thank you for your dedication to us, i haven’t missed a video in years.
this is golden. thank you for the permission and help to allow my brain to be kinder to itself!
I really enjoyed the style of this vlog / voiceover!! It touched me a lot. I’m currently avoiding making my own videos and this showed me I’m avoiding the fear of rejection as I’m entering something I’m not yet perfect at. Thanks Rowena 💕💕
Beautiful Ro! Congratulations on getting engaged and for having your own potato pop. You are such a beautiful person inside and out. You deserve all of the happiness and blessings life has to give. I am very happy for the both of you. Cheers!
I genuinely love this video so much. Proud of you for taking the leap and just doing it.
Thank you, this helped me realize my life is together, but a bit messy (especially my apartment 😅). I just need to be patient with the systems I have in place and with time the mess will clear away.
I've watched you put so much effort in everything, and am so proud of how far you have come. Best wishes for all the beauty that has yet to come 💕
Hi Ro, thank you for being such an inspiration. I can't even begin to express how emotional this video is making me. Thank you so much for existing in this world.
CONGRATULATIONS RO SO HAPPY FOR UR ENGAGEMENT!! I followed you when you were transitioning moving to nyc! So happy to see your growth!
This is so great! Honestley I have watched fewer and fewer of your videos over the years because while first the phrase really caught me, I realized that it can also be very toxic.
With tears on my cheeks, I say, Thank You ♥️
Honestly, I truly needed this right now because just recently, I use to always work on my school assignments and getting them done but now lately, procrastinating has been occurring a lot and I wish I could do my tasks at hand but I can't help but feel distracted and unmotivated even if I take a break, that break ends up turning into an hour lol. Although, this weekend for the first time I went to a business convention. Typically, I am an introvert but I wanted to challenge myself to meet some new people which I did. I am happy that I went because yes I learned some new things was good but the whole experience as well. From your videos and been trying to apply it in my life is challenging yourself and overcoming what makes you uncomfortable, and learning new ways to grow as a person, it gives you that experience feeling accomplished afterwards that now confidence can be something that is atonable when you are able to encourage yourself.
Your videos truly have been helping me always to reflect and gain new perspectives so thank you so much for creating these and putting in your time to edit them.
I love your videos because you often acknowledge the negative side of things instead of just relying on positive thinking. But, beyond the toxicity we can find in the use of that phrase, there's also a more political issue, since a lot of self help ideas ignore systemic issues like racism, poverty and sexism. We can do so much to get our life together until we hit walls that are outside our control. But even though I'm weary of that, I still love your videos. I think we have to face life with a little bit of both attitudes. In the end wellness is a tool that we can use to feel better, but sometimes we need to face systemic changes before we can get the most out of personal growth. I guess another way to put it is that before we can get better we need to help others get better.
Love your perspective ❤ i mean, life’s messy yet what matters is what we learn from it and how we apply what we learn from every mess and stand gracefully.
This got to be my most favorite video of yours.
I think for me I feel more like the RUclipsrs I watch. Feeling like you make me feel like my life is together bc RUclipsrs make our lives look so good. But I want to start centering my reset on preparing my mind and life for a new week and make practice of self care as my reset. My life is not in shambles.
Hi Ro! This video came at the right moment for me, so I'll take it as a sign from the universe. I've been feeling calm from past few days due to my consistent meditation practice. However, today I went off track with my practice and calmness. As I was on the verge of feeling anxious over not having it together, this video helped reframe my thoughts. I feel great and pumped up from where I left off. I could resonate so well with this video. Thank you for the positive vibes. ❤️
same! just perfect timing to watch this video
Ro you always feel like a big sister person for me which I realise is a little silly since I don’t know you 😅 but with the way you talk about life and how you are able to give advice while figuring out life yourself I always find truly comforting. Thank you so much for these videos and I can’t wait for more ❤
Love your videos! I definitely agree that the phrase can be toxic sometimes. I think that the videos like that can be helpful, for me, because sometimes if I feel burnt out or lost, watching those types of videos it'll help give me ideas to feel more in control again.
This was an emotional video for me to watch and I think just what I needed to hear. Thank you for always being genuine and heartwarming, while also being a role model for challenging yourself and promoting growth 🌱
Can’t wait to join in your next chapter 🤍
Well said, I really needed to hear this.
This is so warm. Thank u for this ro!! I feel so healed 😌
Your content is so...real like actually..even when its not, it is. Thank you for making these videos
Your videos often inspire me to live slower & cleaner each time.
I really 🧡 ur perspective on this topic !
Thank you! And congratulations!! May we all lean into our feelings and enjoy this life!! ❤
Rowena, thank you for this. Your content always hit the spot.
Hi Ro! Thank you so much. This was a message that I really needed to hear. I've been following you since 2018 and your videos have always been so comforting and encouraging. So thank you for continuing to share your thoughts and perspective. I'm excited for your new endeavors and I'm excited to try to ground myself in thinking that I don't need to constantly worry about getting my life together. Sending lots of love and support. 💖✨
This makes so much sense, it's a really important insight!!
Thanks for sharing your perspective on this! This video has such a relaxing vibe to it. Thanks for showing that videos don't necessarily need to be super fast paced to connect with people. I also noticed the genius way that you repurposed content from your podcast and other YT channel. The epitome of working smarter and not harder! I aspire.
My queen! 👑 I was missing you 🥺 Good to have you back (in your own pace) 💕
You bring joy and peace to my chaotic life. Thank you for sharing your thoughtful reflections 🥰
Its currently midterm season and you have no idea how timely this video is
Can't believe I've been following you for four years! I'm so proud of us 💜
Thank you. I really loved this message, absolutely everything I needed to hear atm
im so thankful for your videos
Really enjoy your podcast.
Love your videos! ❤ Finding some kind of balance in the different seasons of our life and releasing some of that pressure we put on ourselves is truly life changing. 🤗
I haven't clicked so fast on a notification in a while! 😍😍💓
cant wait to see you acting rowena! gogogo!
Thankyou rowena for this video
"I want to start scaling mountains again" YESSSSSSS
i love that!!! don't have anything else to add but yes I love it
Thank you so much for this video, I needed it without knowing I did 🌺✨💗
I really needed this thank you x
Woah. Truly an honest and informative video. Thank you so much for this video Rowena, keep going☺
Rowena!!!!!!!!! I love you. Thank you so much for this.
And thank you, YT, and OF COURSE, Katyayini, a friend of mine, who suggested me your channel quite some time back.
Take care my love.
And.. congratulations love. All the very best.
Love love.
So exciting with the potato popsicle! Congratulations! 🥔💕✨ I haven't posted as many videos either as I put as a goal for myself this year, and on the surface, it might look like "I should get my life together". But what I am doing and focusing my energy on is very aligned with my big why and behind the scenes many things are happening.
I think it's important to go inward and ask yourself if you live a life aligned with what you want. We often have ideas we picked up from others about what a "put-together life looks like" and sometimes these ideas are not true for us. Looking forward to your more commentary-style content!
I'm early!! Always a joy to get new video notifications from you!
I have an upcoming presentation I'm so nervous about so i keep procrastinating. Hearing u talk about how it's not the actual thing we're scared of and it's the feelings that come with it made me really reevaluate things :)
I love this energy, but feel like I need to live alone to be able to lean into it fully! As soon as I get absorbed in things that are more meaningful to me, I find there's someone (parent, housemate) following me around asking why I've neglected the dishes for 3 days 😅 I don't leave food to go off and clean dishes right away if they're very dirty... But wiping down a pile of things that have been used once and have a few crumbs, or pasta water, just doesn't feel as great a priority as doing what I find way more compelling 😂 I'm in a good flatshare so I'm being respectful of space but duh I still leave dishes in my room rather than give up project time. I should note that I do have good standards of cleanliness too, but can kind of "Walk past" things without noticing a few days if I've put them together in an area and switched my brain off from focusing on them. Getting my life together sometimes means focusing on deadlines and rest and pile-tackling errands rather than chipping away every day, though maybe I should try that too so the cluttery small tasks don't get as overwhelming through a week
Thank you so much for this video it’s helped me so much Ro!! ❤❤
Awwww 🙌🏾💗 yes a cute little potato pop. Also, this video brought so much peace and clarity, thank youuu for sharing your thoughts. ✨
I needed to here this so bad!😢💗
that was wonderful, thank you 🧖🏼♀️
I needed this.
I know i'll love this
Hi Ro!! Hope you’re doing well! Always love watching your videos❤
Congrats 😊This video was great. I think for me it is to try new things and be more open. This could mean try new hobbies like crochet like I am doing right now go to places by myself since I have started university be open to who I talk to interact and not limit myself be open to song suggestions. These are some of the big and small things
Congratulations Ro on Ur engagement ❤️❤️❤️❤️
i needed this, gracias :)